Elevathers

What If Being Left Out Is The Point?

• Elevathers • Season 2 • Episode 23

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 36:24

t Ain’t Personal

SPEAKER_01

It ain't about you. Like, it's not personal. They have their own stuff going on. Closed mouths don't get fed. So if you do know the right people, put it out there.

elcome Back And Listener Love

SPEAKER_02

Welcome back to another Elevators Podcast episode. It's Amanda Booz.

SPEAKER_01

Hi, I'm a Crystal Vega. We're so excited to have you guys back. Sorry about last week. We've been very, very busy, but we're back and we're talking all trending topics. Well, not all. We've got like one or two that we want to talk about. And we've got some uh motivational words for y'all. So thank you for joining us again today.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so if you want to hear everything, Oscars, Essence Brunch, Awards season, if that's like your thing and you want to talk about it, then keep listening or keep watching wherever you are getting your podcast. Now, before we get into everything, we love just shouting y'all out because you guys pour into us. So we, of course, want to pour back into you because we love you guys so much. So I want to show, I want to share a review, girl, that I found on the Apple podcast. And this one is from P Lewis07. It says, and positivity. They always deliver if you're looking for encouragement, empowerment, and relatable topics on a weekly basis. Each episode pours into your mindset, check, growth, check, and confidence. Keep up the great work. Okay. Thank you. I know, right? I love that. That was a good one. Thank you. That was a really good one. We appreciate that. Yes. And if you have any reviews or comments, questions, or anything that you guys would like to leave us on the podcast page, you can leave it on Apple, wherever you get your podcast, on our YouTube page, or you can also go on our website because we have a speak pipe. None of y'all are speaking to us. What's going on?

SPEAKER_01

I think they're shy. And we are a lot of things. It's anonymous. It's so weird. Yes, it's anonymous. Maybe people think we're lying when we say that, but like it's actually anonymous. So talk to us and you will hear about it on the next episode, maybe. To your point, this is such a good episode for anybody who wants like the inside scoop too. Because Amanda was hosting at the Essence brunch. So we're gonna get all the tea on this episode out of where she's gonna tell us what really went down over there. Um, because apparently there was some discourse about people being invited to these different types of events and people not being invited to these types of events. So I want to get all into it, and then I have lots of food for thought for you guys. So okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_02

We gotta talk about it. Because I didn't see the discourse, but I did hear about it from several different people. So I was like, you know what? I understand, you know, there's a definitely a conversation that we could have surrounding that.

ravel, Burnout, And Needing A Break

SPEAKER_02

But girl, I'm doing good. I literally feel like I felt like when you went to New York and you came back and you got sick, I feel like the same thing happened to me. I came back from LA. I got back, what was this, Sunday? So Oscar Sunday. And I was there way longer than I anticipated being in LA. And when I got back, I was tired. So I was like, okay, whatever. I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm gonna wake up because I really, really want, I really wanted to watch the Academy Awards. So I got up, I had my little Italian pasta that I ordered beforehand. I was ready to go. I had my snacks on dick, all of that. So I watched the show, it was good. The next day here in Miami, it felt like it was raining every single day. Like it rained Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, like every day it rained here and it was super cloudy. And I feel like the travel pressed the rain, my immune system was like, girl, sit down. Like, don't go nowhere. Sit your butt right there. Cause I was I was out of it yesterday. But I'm gearing up for some more travel next week. So I gotta get my, I gotta get this immune system. You gotta get it all the way together. I know, but it's a dream trip, so I'm excited. But I need to get myself. Where are you going? I'm going to Japan.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that is a dream trip. Period. I love that. I get too. That's a good one. Yes, maybe I can bring you back something, girl. Listen, tell me what you want. I'm gonna go look in a store. Girl, no. That is, first of all, the worst place for your pockets, but one of the best places to shop. Um, Japan got a lot of vintage pieces, a lot of exclusive pieces. Like them girls over there, well, them people over there, period, when it comes to fashion, they don't play. And they take care of their stuff. Or even better. Like, I've heard nothing but great things. I heard the food's amazing. I really want to go to like a meditation, like not spa at is it a spa? Is it a camp? Like, what is it called? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

But oh, like a like a retreat, like you want to go on like a spa retreat, like something where it's like in Japan, where they're like just meditating all day. Oh, I've always told you. So I'm gonna try my best to like see different places, but girl, I'm just gonna be grateful if I'm even able to go because y'all know the world is crazy right now.

SPEAKER_01

So I'm gonna be like, please let me let me get somewhere. No, for real. Oh well, have fun at that trip. That's amazing. I'm super challenging.

SPEAKER_02

It's okay.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02

How are you? What's going on with you? I know you're you're you've been busy, you got some travels coming up too.

SPEAKER_01

I think our listeners are tired of hearing you say, ah, that'll be. But we just don't skip that. I got some travel coming up. I'm doing a lot. And then I decided that I'm actually gonna take a break. I'm gonna take a break. I need a break when I come back from New York. Um, so I'm taking a break from work. Um, I need I need a moment. Like I'm at my like wit end where I'm like, Yeah, yeah. And I've never felt like this is so funny because a couple days ago I was like, I'm just gonna quit. And then I was like, wait, why are you so like zero to a hundred? I was like, just like do me so I'm taking a vaccine. Yeah, take a vacate. And I'm recalibrating, like trying to get myself together, trying to get in a routine, trying to make sure that I'm not putting myself last because I am so good at putting myself last. So yeah, that's that. No, I get that. Coming up, a bed is coming up, great things coming up, but I need a beat. I need a margarita.

SPEAKER_02

So I need a margarita. No, I'm happy that you're doing that. You deserve to take as much time as you need because we need that. And sometimes we're on the go and it's like non-stop, but we're like so busy pouring to other people and pouring into everything else that we're like our hands are in that we forget about ourselves sometimes. So I'm so happy you're taking that much-needed time, girl. Let me know if you want a little spa date to celebrate our birthday because it's our birthday month.

SPEAKER_01

It is when I'm working. Our birthday weekend, by the way. I'm working only, yes. I'm doing um an off-site, basically, like with some of our new team members. And I'm gonna work all weekend. That's well, when you come back, we're gonna be here. But I'm gonna be working. But yeah. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02

That's gonna be good. That's gonna be good. Well, we we gotta have something to celebrate. Aries season, baby, because Pisces, y'all were cute, but it's Aries season. And it's literally Aries year if you're into zodiacs and the year of the the Chinese New Year, it's the horse. And apparently, like the the year of the horse is also in alignment with like Aries and the Ram and all that. I just and this is a lie. Look into it, but basically, in a nutshell, it's our year, and that's it.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I like that. Okay, well, well, let's take a step

scars Recap And Award Season Takes

SPEAKER_01

back. So the Oscars, did you watch it? Did you like it? Did you love it? I didn't watch it. I did see Tiana Taylor had to check somebody, and I was like, good for you, girl. Um she had to check somebody. Yeah, she had to check somebody. Apparently, they must have like shelved her, I think. Like maybe they were trying to clear the room and was like clearing people out, and they didn't know who Tiana Taylor was. Not that they not they didn't know who she was, but like they didn't know where she came from, and she had to she had to don't Tiana in the custom Chanel dress.

SPEAKER_02

You didn't know where she was from, honey. She needed to be in that room. She was supposed to be. She looks so good.

SPEAKER_01

She has been slain killing it. This is the award season, killer stand podcast.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, it is. I think so. We love you, TT. We love you. And she has been slaying the awards, the award season literally, like it. I've never seen somebody kill it from Fashion Week from all of her appearances. Like, it's I she hasn't missed not once. I mean, like, the girl is unstoppable right now, and I love every bit of it for her. But yes, so I did watch the Oscars. I I even started watching it from like the red carpet. So I've seen some looks that I that I really loved on the carpet. Tiana was definitely um one of them. Um, what else? Oscar's overall thoughts. Um, excuse me. Oscar's overall thoughts, I really enjoyed the show. I think that it was a good balance. I feel like maybe some people disagree, but this is my opinion. I feel, I do think that Best Picture should have definitely gone to centers. However, I'm not mad that one battle after another, or one battle after the next, y'all y'all know what movie I'm talking about, okay? With Leonardo and Tiana. That movie won Best Picture. I'm not mad at it. Um, I'm happy Michael B. Jordan won his first Oscar, which is historic, okay? There's only been on two hands worth of black people that have won that award. And the Academy Awards have been around since like the 1920s and the 1930s or something crazy like that. But yeah, so I was excited for that. I love the moment with Anna Mentor and Anne Hathaway. That was really, really epic because it played on into the movie. So you know they're promoting the movie because it comes out in this this summer. So I thought that was like a really cute moment. I feel like there was like lots of big wins for a lot of people who look like us and also um underrepresented um communities. I know what there was like a really big movie that came out this year that was for kids. K-pop demon hunters. But that also won big that night. And they also performed. Centers had a performance on the stage that was epic. D Nice was on there DJ DJing. Um, there were just like so many beautiful moments that happened, I feel like, during during the Oscars that were dope. It was very long, I will say. That Oscar show is long. Like you gotta be really, really, really, really committed to watch that. And this may be unpopular opinion, and it I don't want to ruffle any feathers. But as a viewer or as someone who is a consumer of movies and film, I think that we have sometimes, we also sometimes have to do a better job of rooting for people and shows and things that we haven't always seen. Cause I feel like a lot of people get upset when like certain things aren't, and trust me, I'm rooting for everybody black always, right? But like a I seen a lot of movies that won the Oscars, and I was like, oh my gosh, I never seen Frankenstein. But I'm like, I need to go watch that because clearly somebody at the academy thinks it deserves an Oscar. So I'm like, I wanna do, I feel like anytime these award shows come around, if there's like movies or films I haven't seen that win awards, I tend to like go in reverse and try to watch them because I'm like, okay, I want to see what the hype is about. I want to watch these movies, the ones I haven't seen, and really and truly see the art behind why they were an Oscar winner. So I wanted to say that because I feel like a lot of the times I'm rooting for the movie I seen or I'm rooting for somebody that's in the category that's black, which I will always do. But I do say, I do want to say that I want to like expand my horizon and watch other things and watch other films that I may not be interested in just because it's an art form and I'm like, okay, this is cool. Maybe like the cinematography was good on this, or maybe it was just like a backstop. I don't know. I just think that I wanted to say that point. So, but yes, the Oscars, I enjoyed it. I loved it. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's a very good point. I I agree with you. I've actually, and maybe that's why I never just like really tuned into the Oscars like that, because there's so many films that I'm like, I've never heard of this, I've never seen this. And typically it's not like the the blockbuster, you know, movie theater films. It's like stuff where it's like if you know, you know, like real theory, you have to be like a movie junkie, that sort of stuff. And I love movies and I love like TV shows, but not to that extent. Like you have to be a real movie junkie to sit down, watch the Oscars, and know about every single movie that has been nominated.

osting Essence Black Women In Hollywood

SPEAKER_01

But anyways, before the Oscars came the Essence brunch. Tell me about what you did, and then I'm gonna tell you about what the kids is talking about on social media.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so I went to LA because I got, you know, an opportunity to work with Essence and L'Oreal, which I absolutely loved. As a makeup girly, I'm like, oh my gosh, yes, L'Oreal. This is like a dream partnership. So I really loved being able to do that. So I was doing that on Thursday. So Essence Brunch, and it's called Black Woman in Hollywood. So for those who are not familiar, Black Woman in Hollywood happens every award season, that's the Oscars weekend leading into the Oscars, obviously, which makes sense. I feel like a lot of times when these events happen, it's because, you know, in Hollywood, you know, everyone's gonna be in town. All the A-list celebs are there to celebrate such a monumental moment in their career. So I think Essence does a really good job in capitalizing on the weekend and having an event of that magnitude to support black women specifically, who are just making strides and just doing exponentially well, like beyond we can beyond like things that we could even imagine in their careers and their um in their industry. So that's what Black Women Hollywood is. And so I hosted the red carpet, which it was like a blue carpet this year. And that was fun. So we we did a lot of different interviews. I got to talk to Tiamari, I talked to Shelly for anyone who loves Love Island. Um, I talked to Reginae and her mom. Let's see, who else? I talked to so many different people. Oh my gosh, it's like slid on my mind. Zendaya was there. Um, the list goes on and on and on. But it was honestly just like a great time to just be in the room. Like I love working, and you and I both, you, you and I both can talk about this. Like, I worked so many red carpets, right, in my career. And I've been doing this for like 10 plus years now, right? And I will say, being at like something like Black Women in Hollywood or hosting at Black Women in Hollywood specifically for me is so like fulfilling because it's one of those carpets where you're like pouring into somebody and they're pouring into you. Like it's super like motivational and inspiring because it's like nothing but black women saying, like, yes, girl, you wearing that. Oh my gosh, you look good, hugging each other, kissing each other, embracing each other in such a way where it's like, oh my gosh, this feels so warm, you know? So I'm super grateful that um that I'm able to even call that word girl. Cause I'm just like, just some of the nuggets and the things that the girls were saying and the women were saying were just like, Oh yes, okay, I love that. So it was good. I will I will say it was really, really good. Obviously, it's work, so it's a lot that goes into it when it comes to like prep and getting yourself together. I actually missed part of the brunch because I was trying to wrap out um some of the content, but like I missed like the beginning half of the brunch, but I was able to actually sit and attend the brunch, so I could definitely speak to that as well. But all in all, I enjoyed it. I had a good time.

SPEAKER_01

I had a really good time. It was really, really fun. Would

hy Invite Only Events Stay Small

SPEAKER_01

you have felt sad if you weren't invited? For context. There was discourse on social media about people feeling like, you know, they're never invited to these sorts of things and so on and so forth. Um, with that said, shameless plug. That's why we started fortune of forks. But anyway, so people have felt like, you know, that they don't that they're just like being overseen um in their industry, in their respective industry. So for you, as somebody who like that's your industry and like kind of like adjacent, would you have, you know, felt some type of way if you wasn't invited?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so would I have felt some type of way if I wasn't invited? The short answer is no. And the reason why I say no is because to understand black women in Hollywood, you also have to kind of be there, right? So for those who've never attended or had the opportunity to be there, I could understand the frustrations of people wanting to be invited but not be invited. But it's so intimate. And what I mean by that is it's a table setup, right? So there's tables, and like if you've been to a gala, you know it's like tables and food being served and so on and so forth, right? Last year, when I worked this brunch, I didn't get an extra ticket. This year I got an extra ticket and I actually even shared it with um Naomi this year. So we both went together, but I never even got a second ticket. This is the first year that's ever happened, and I was even shocked, right? So why I'm saying that is because being that I worked the event, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get two tickets, I'm gonna come and pull up to this event. I had to learn that that's not always the case. These events are are structured in a way where they're honoring someone, right? So for example, Carrie Washington was honored. Carrie Washington is gonna come with her, her family, her agent, you know, so on and so forth. That may take up a table and then yeah, that may take up a table and then another table, right? Then you have essence executives and people that they may have extended it to from there. Then you have the sponsors, which I think a lot of these events they put on a lot for the people who are sponsoring the event because when it comes to like an essence festival or BET Awards or NAACP Awards or any of these bigger award shows, sometimes you don't really get to, I feel like, see how impactful the sponsorship is because so much is happening. And there's also other people involved that are not, that are, that are probably consumers of the product and not just people who are being awarded, if that makes any sense at all. Um, so I feel like the brunch is so intimate because it's that on top of like all the actresses and actors that they want to invite, people who are also gonna be honoring the recipients that are getting awarded and their plus ones and then their plus ones. So I think when it, when you look at that, it's like so many different people are invited that what's left, I couldn't even tell you where those tickets go. And I also want to say this because this actually happened to me this year. I had a girl, and this is no like no shade at all. I had a girl from my from college, by the way, I I don't we don't even, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be quite frank. Never, we never even communicated outside of college. It was never, hey girl, how you doing? Hey girl, what's new? It's been five years, been 10 years, like house life, none of that. I got a DM asking for BET Awards tickets this year. And I was like, What? Sorry, why? No, but I but I'm bringing that up because BET Awards tickets are not on Ticketmaster, and neither are Essence Black Women Hollywood brunch tickets either. So these are exclusive invite-only type of events, and I think for me, why I say I wouldn't feel away by being invited by not being invited, because I have to look at it from a different perspective. Like, yes, I was working, so I would assume that me being work, me working there would also, I guess, honor me to get a ticket from putting in work and helping, um helping elevate the voices and you know, just shedding light on the actual event that's happening. But if I wasn't invited, I would also take a step back and look at things like, okay, what have I done to be able to be in these rooms? Like, am I connected to the right people to be able to, you know, get into these spaces? Am I an actress? Am I working? Am I, you know, in the space to where I feel like I should be getting a ticket? But I feel like if I wasn't in those spaces, I don't necessarily know I would feel like I'm supposed to get one, if that makes sense. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I think you have a very like self-accountability perspective where it's like, what am I doing to be in that room? Um which I think is cool. I think for me, I could see why somebody like, let's say they check all those boxes and they're still not invited, right? And we're just using essence as a sort of example, however, this could be applied to a friend's birthday, a work event, like things that are happening that you feel like you should be at, but you didn't have access to, or you weren't invited, yeah. To and I feel like the thing is separately from the politics, there's there's there's method to the madness, right? We look for validation from outside sources too much. And wanting to be invited to certain events is a reflection of that. Or wanting to be invited to do certain things is a reflection of that. I used to feel like that a lot about work. Like if somebody at a

alidation, Rejection, And Perspective Shifts

SPEAKER_01

certain point, like if somebody was getting a hosting gig that I didn't get, I used to be like, damn, like why I couldn't do that, you know, especially like when I first started, not so much like as I became more seasoned in my career, but like when I first started, I'd be like, damn, I want that, like I'm doing that. And then I'm be like, okay, what I gotta do? Like, what more should I be doing? And the reality is sometimes it's not that. Sometimes, like, you're just not top of mind. However, that doesn't mean you're less than. And that said, we should not seek the validation of being invited to things or or um or like being tapped to be at things or work at things as you know what defines us. Does that make sense? So, like, just because you're not being invited to that event doesn't mean anything. Don't take it personal. It doesn't mean you are less than at all. Yeah. Sometimes you just gotta keep putting in more elbow breeze. We talked about this a couple weeks ago with Tiana Taylor because this is Tiana Taylor. Um, but you know, she's been killing it lately, but she has also been overlooked. Four years. And you know what? I'm sure Tiana has felt multiple times like, oh, I'm not up for this Oscar, oh, I'm not up for this. And multiple times, guess what? When she was up and nominated, she showed up. And most of the time she was showing up regardless to these things, right? Yeah. She was showing up with Grace. And you know, it's really up to you where if you do get invited to said birthday or to said work event, it's up to you to decide at that point. Do you even want to go after not being invited so many years feeling like you were overseen? You know, that's totally up to you. You could always decide, you know what? Y'all didn't see me during my my struggle. Y'all not about to see me now, right? That's totally up to you. However, I do think that we put a lot of emphasis on being um defined by, you know, by being in these spaces and places, but also like separately aside from that, right? It's not personal. It's really not personal. A lot of times there's a method to the madness, and it is not personal. It is literally a headcount thing. It's about headcount. That's it. And they are gonna prioritize Carrie Washington and her family and friends. Yep. Absolutely. That's it. It's not really about you. It ain't about you. Like, it's not personal. They have their own stuff going on. Another thing is closed mouths don't get fed. So if you do know the right people, put it out there in the few, you know, hey, you know, I guess this was tight this year, but I would love to attend something like this. That doesn't mean you're gonna get access. However, I know for me as somebody who like hosts these type of events, now I'm like, okay, word, I didn't even know you were interested. Because that's another thing. How is anybody supposed to know if you don't say anything? Nobody's just gonna assume. I have had instances where people are like, oh, you know, you never invited me. I'm like, well, you never said you were interested. Straight up. How is anybody supposed to but like, are you showing up to other things outside of essence, right? Like, I hope you're not sitting around waiting for that one invite. Like, are you showing up to the other things that are happening throughout the year so that people could see, oh, okay, this person is out there, really putting themselves out there. They go to this type of stuff. Or, for example, like your coworkers' birthdays. Did you go to your other coworkers' birthdays? Like, what does that look like for you, you know?

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely. No, I agree. And I think I'm glad you said that point because that is very important. You have to put yourself out there sometimes. Sometimes, like, people are sitting there waiting for a formal invitation when if you have the access and the connections to go to the horse's mouth, then you need to go to the horse's mouth and be like, hey, I would like to be here. But also in saying and asking for those favors, you have to also ask yourself, what have you also done to one IEB in this room? Or what have you also done collaboratively with that person that you're asking that favor or that ticket for? And something else I wanted to say, because I think people also don't realize this, is like you and I have been doing this for a minute, right? So I've been working, and I've already said for quite some time in this industry. The key players do not stay the same. So I feel like people get very strung on, oh my gosh, I was invited five years ago and I haven't been invited since. Well, baby, the director and the vice president, they're not there no more. So, like, you have to know who the key players are. And that is a part of going to events, like Crystal

etworking Strategy And Knowing Key Players

SPEAKER_02

said, like making connections, making the right connections. Like, there's a difference between being in the room and like working a room, right? So you have to know what it is that your agenda is. If you want to be there and you want to connect with like-minded women of color and black women, like what kind of like similarities? Is there someone in the room that you guys have something in common that you'd like to connect with? And then you further that connection outside of the room, or is there something that you're going to be inspired by and you want to get messaging from there? So your like mind is just open like a sponge to just get the information that's going to be given there. And then, like Crystal said, like, that's one of the reasons why that she and Naomi created Fortune Forks. Like, there's events outside of even Fortune and Forks that happen all across the country where there's brunches and there's events even locally in your area that you can tap into, purchase a ticket, support a smaller business, and also be able to have the same kind of access and also be able to get the same kind of positive like experience. So I think a lot of people look at the essences, the BETs, the Viacoms, the Oscars, the Grammys, like the bigger tables. And it's like, baby, there's like a level, right? So you have to like, I love how Issa Rae said it, collaborate with the people that are in your network, in your area, and kind of like pour into those things, and then you continue to grow and build up. But I feel like I'm not gonna lie, I feel like a lot of people expect to be at certain events, and some people haven't put in the work to be in these events, like if I'm being honest. And and it's not even about that as well. Like you said, like sometimes it comes down to a hierarchy and there's way more people on the list that got to get a ticket before it gets to your name. And I don't think it's a matter of people not wanting to invite said people, because I'm pretty sure if Essence could expand it, and I'm pretty sure they can have a bigger event, then I think it takes away from the intimacy of it being the brunch that it is. Um, if we're talking about that specifically, like if it was like in an arena, you would not ever feel the effect of the brunch the way that you do if it's in a small, intimate um uh room in a hotel. Like it's not gonna be the same kind of feel. And also, like Crystal said, it's not about you, like it's not about us, it's not about you know that. It's about the people who are being honored at these events. And if you are ever, ever able to be in these rooms, I just think that you just gotta have a level of gratitude. You just gotta be super thankful and grateful to be in this space. And maybe you'll be invited again.

SPEAKER_01

To your point, what you said earlier. It's so funny because when we first started Fortune and Forts, we used to say this all the time, too. Like, we so much have been taught to look up, reach out, look up, reach up, and we forgot that there's people left and right of us that end up being in those positions, they end up being the key players. And I learned that as an intern at BET with my supervisor. He was like, yo, network with the people next to you. He was like, because everybody else, they have out of here in five to seven years.

SPEAKER_02

That's it.

SPEAKER_01

The people next to you, though, those are the relationships that are gonna flourish and they're gonna end up in positions that are gonna be like key players in the future. And I'm like, and I was I was like, wow, like he's so not wrong. And and then I met Naomi and then like things snowballed, and I met all these different people, and you know, everything just grew for me. However, you have to look to your left and right separately from that. You have to ask yourself, hey, how am I collaborating with this brand throughout the year and not just looking for that one big event that they do? Are you engaging on social? Are you supporting their smaller events? Like, what are you doing to support said brand or said event, said dinner, said person, whatever, right? Also, what value are you adding to that room, specifically to that room? And that's not to say that you lack value as a person, but what value are you bringing to that room? So if you're like, hey, I can't get invited like this, but I can do red carpet event coverage, you know, like you're still able to get in there and make relationships and get a little bit of the experience so that the year after maybe, you know, you make you meet the connection there and shoot, you'll be invited to the event. So I think what I'm really trying to say is when I when I ask, like what out value are you adding, what strategy are you implementing to get your foot in that door? Is the real question. It's not even, I guess it is about value, but it's also about like, what does your strategy look like? You know, I think a lot of times people think that this stuff just happens for a lot of people, and it's like, no, there is a lot of strategy behind either their careers, but separately from the careers, the people that you don't know, because that's another thing, too. There's a lot of people that work behind the scenes in entertainment that we don't even think of because we just think about the movie. You forget about the directors, you forget about the executives. Like those people in high positions, yeah, those are the ones that's making it happen to Amanda's point key players, right? So it's like, what are you doing to make yourself fit in that sort of formula? And then as you continue to grow and and put your head down and do the work on your own, sometimes you'll look up and you'll look up and be like, I don't even want this, right? Like, I didn't even want to be on billboard 100. Who said that? Jay-Z. Jay-Z was like, I don't even care about the billboard anymore. You know, but at one point in his career, he felt super defined by it. And, you know, the harder you the not even the harder you work, but the more you work. And then you pick your head up and realize, like, oh, that thing I thought I cared about, I didn't really care about. It was actually more validation, and what I really needed to work it on, and what I really needed to work on was myself and continue working on my craft. You know, I just for me, it's just like I I could see why the conversation had has happened coming off of the brunch and also coming off of the Oscars and just award season in general, but and I have very much been there. And this is, I guess, for me, sort of reaching out to say, baby, it ain't you, and don't make it about you. You know, it ain't you, and that that's in a good way, you know. Like, it's not you and it ain't about you. It's really they have their own stuff going on, but just focus on you, you know, everything will happen when it's supposed to, the pieces will fall on the board where they're supposed to fall, and you should not let not being invited to said room discourage you whatsoever. And that again goes into birthdays, office gatherings, whatever. Put your head down, do the work, don't worry about nothing else. Everything else will fall into place when it's supposed to. Yes, I 1000% agree.

SPEAKER_02

And I also feel if you are afraid of a table not being there for you, that's even more reason for you to create that space in whatever it is that you want it to look like for yourself. Um, or tap into spaces that are already created that you can be a part of. But I agree. I agree a thousand per exactly. I agree a thousand percent with knowing that you're

reate Your Own Table Online

SPEAKER_02

not not invited because you don't you don't deserve to be in these spaces. It just may be, hey, it's not the right time. Maybe people need to get privy to who you are. That's probably showing up for yourself online or showing up for yourself in these rooms. That means sometimes you might want to buy a ticket to a Forbes event or an essence event because they do sell tickets to certain events. Not everything is invite only. And then, you know, you build your connection in that, in that space and in those rooms. But I think also I wanted to say this don't feel limited by being, I don't know who this is for, in a small town. Don't feel limited by being in a city where major events happen, or not being in a city where major events happen, right? You may not live in LA, you may not live in Miami, you may not live in New York, but if you live somewhere where you feel like, oh my gosh, I want to get into these rooms, I want to get into these spaces, the internet is so powerful that you literally have at your fingertips how to connect with people, whether that's LinkedIn, that's Instagram, any social platform, um, whether that's you being whoever it is that you want to be online and posting consistently and then going viral potentially, and then you get invited to these events. There's so many influencers now, and they say this influencers are like the new celebrity, right? So, like so many influencers also go to these events because they're invited to these events. I actually interviewed, I interviewed an influencer at Black Woman in Hollywood. She has a million followers, you know what I mean? And I'm not saying that you have to have a million followers to be invited to these events. I'm not saying that at all. But what I am saying is show up for yourself. However that may be, in whatever space that may look like for you, whether it's podcasting, whether it's content creating, whether it's maybe you have a, I don't know, a blog or a website. Maybe you send email blasts, maybe you do something inspirational, maybe you tap into whoever, because you never know on the other side of the phone who may see that. You never know on the other side of whatever it is that you're putting your um yourself out there, who may see it. So just don't feel intimidated by these rooms because I feel like everybody deserves to be in there, especially like Crystal said, if you're putting in the work and you're also showing whatever said company, said brand that you are a collaborator or that you also can add some type of value, then surely, surely you will be in the space and in a room that you deserve to be in. And if you're not, it does not mean you don't deserve to be there. Don't ever associate events with your value.

SPEAKER_01

Period. Period. And on that note, we hope that you all can take this information and apply it to your everyday life. Today we're talking about the Oscars, but this is information and advice um for your from your sister girls that you know we hope that you could really implement. Like, you just don't look for the validation externally, it's inside you already. Do you boo-boo?

inal Pep Talk And Subscribe

SPEAKER_01

This is meant to be positive. So, anyways, we just want to thank you guys again for tuning in to another week of elevating with elevators on elevators. And make sure you like, comment, subscribe, leave us a comment. We want to hear from you on our things. And yeah, check us out next week, y'all. We busy, but we're trying to get to y'all every single week. So if you want to hear it every week, smash that subscribe button and comment, talk to us, scream at us. We want to hear you.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. So thank you guys so much for tuning in to another Elevators Podcast episode. Bye guys.