Elevathers
Hosted by entertainment pros Amanda Booz and Krystal Vega, each episode dives into the real stories behind modern womanhood, from the highs of entrepreneurship and personal wins to the lows of heartbreak and self-doubt.
They break down trending topics, relationship dynamics, career pivots, and everything in between, all with honesty, humor, and a dose of sisterhood. Whether you're chasing your next level or rebuilding from scratch, this is your space to feel seen, supported and inspired.
El·e·vat·hers: /ˈeləˌvāt/hers/ Women who continue to transcend through the peaks and valleys of life's journey while maintaining authenticity and grace.
Elevathers
The Cost Of Being So Lucky With Les Alfred
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Luck looks glamorous from the outside, but we wanted to talk about what it really costs to build a big life. Amanda Booz and Krystal Vega sit down with Les Alfred, media entrepreneur and cultural storyteller behind She’s So Lucky (formerly Balanced Black Girl), for a podcaster-to-podcaster conversation about growth that actually lasts.
Les shares how her podcast started with a simple idea at work, a mic from Amazon, and a decision to ship before she felt ready. We dig into why she’s never needed a viral moment, how a slow build creates real skill, and why corporate experience can be the best “paid training” for creators who want to run a serious business. Then we get practical about guest booking and pitching yourself: doing the research, leading with audience value, and understanding that a podcast is expensive to produce, with listeners and advertisers to serve.
From there, things get real. We talk about the cost of success on relationships, the pressure to keep leveling up, and the wellness infrastructure that makes ambition sustainable. We also unpack dating when you’re public-facing, how to tell if someone likes you or the idea of you, and why boundaries on social media can protect your mental health more than another vulnerable post ever could.
If you’re building something brick by brick and wondering when it “pops,” this one will steady you. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs the reminder, and leave us a review so more women can find the gems.
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SPEAKER_00Hey elevators, welcome back to another episode. We are so happy that you are listening, watching, and tuning in wherever you are. For those who are listening, I'm Amanda Booz.
SPEAKER_01I'm Crystal Vega, and we're very excited for a special guest
Welcome And Listener Shoutouts
SPEAKER_01we have coming up. But before we get into that, make sure you guys are leaving us a SpeakPipe note on our website. You're sharing this episode with a friend to tell friends to tell a friend. Make sure you're leaving us reviews on Apple, Spotify, wherever you're listening to the podcast. We're so excited to have you back to be back for another week of elevating.
SPEAKER_00That's right. And it was just, well, you know, a happy belated Cinco de Mayo. I know you guys are probably getting this episode after it has happened. Did you get into anything for Cinco de Mayo? Did you make some tacos? Like what were you doing yesterday? Did you do margaritas?
SPEAKER_01I am in my routine.
Balance, Routines, And Drinking Boundaries
SPEAKER_01I'm staying in my bag. Yeah. I am not not moving. Um, I did eat some chips yesterday though. Uh I mean, I did eat some chips on Cinco de Mayo, and that probably wasn't the best thing. However, I went to the gym. I went to work, I got my projects done. I'm very happy staying in my bag, staying in my routine, staying in my little pocket, doing my thing.
SPEAKER_00That's amazing. I love that. Look, same here. I was like, I went to the gym, and I'm gonna be honest, I think life deserves balance. I did have a taco, and I had one skinny margarita, just one. Just one. But I worked out really hard. Yeah, it was very skinny, no sugar. And I also honestly had tequila with no additives in it. Um, I'm being very, very, I'm actually, I'm on my way out from drinking. I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I think I'm like, I've hit my okay, I don't want to drink anymore um era. And I I feel like that will look like for me wine. I'm not even gonna do the mocktails because I won't hold y'all. They're charging like $300 for soda, soda, and juice. And I don't love that. I don't love that. I don't love the mocktail culture.
SPEAKER_05I think now with McDonald's, a McDouble, it's only $250. So you can get your gym games on or just get lunch for only $250. Get more value on the under $3 menu.
SPEAKER_04Limit time only. Price time participation may vary. Prices may be higher for delivery.
SPEAKER_00I could have that at home. I won't pay for that out. I'll just have a nice little glass of Sincere and be. That's what I will I will have a glass of wine. Um, but I don't, I do think I'm cutting out the hard alcohol.
SPEAKER_01And before this year ends, I promise y'all. I'm with you. I'm also, I think neither of us are the type of people that need alcohol to have fun. Like once you realize you don't need it, I mean, some people need it. Me, I'm a good talk.
SPEAKER_00Some people definitely need it. I feel like I wake, it's it's it's 9 a.m. and I got this energy. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need, I don't need a shot. I am the shot. I am the birthday. So we don't, we don't need, we don't need any of that. I agree. I'm like, right, I'm good. I don't need that, girl. But yeah, so that was so Taco Tuesday, did you get to like catch anything from from the Met Gala?
SPEAKER_01No, girl. I have when I tell you I've been in my pocket working.
SPEAKER_00Listen, it'd be like that sometimes. It'd be like that sometimes, girl. I did see some stuff on social. Um, I do feel like I enjoy the theme this year, but listen, I totally get that. It's been, it's been, it's that season right now. It's that get it's that get right season in always from anything that you got going on. So I love that. And speaking of getting right, we have the perfect guests joining us. I'm sure you guys, if you are a fan of the She's So Lucky podcast, we have Les Alfred joining us in a few minutes. Listen, and she she definitely speaks
Met Gala Check And Guest Tease
SPEAKER_00a lot about that on her podcast. And it's our first podcast collab, y'all. It's our first podcaster that's actually on our podcast. So it's gonna be fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, let's let's get into it. Without further ado, I'm gonna introduce our very special guests for today's episode. I don't even know where to start. I mean, a couple months ago I was on her podcast. Now she's on our podcast, and it just feels so good to have somebody like-minded um coming on our show to give y'all so many tips on how she's
Introducing Les Alfred And Her Work
SPEAKER_01made herself so lucky and what that actually looks like. We have Les Alfred, who is a media entrepreneur and a cultural storyteller. She's shaping the future of women-centered narratives. Les is deeply committed to investing in and supporting women in storytelling, including writers, content creators, and filmmakers. You might know her from her She's So Lucky podcast, formerly Balanced Black Girl, but let's welcome Les Alfred to Elevators. Hey girl, hey.
SPEAKER_00Hey, thank you guys so much for loving me. Welcome. Welcome. Thanks for joining us. We love a girl's girl on elevators, and you definitely are an elevator at every definition of the word. So thank you for joining us. We really appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Oh my God, Les, I don't know if I've ever told you this, but after I went on your podcast, so I I secretly um work for CBS Miami. And but one of my count my co-workers was like, I saw you on a podcast. And I was like, She's like, I listen to that podcast all the time. Like, it's so inspiring. And she had so many great things to say about like your podcast and how much she has taken from it. Um, and I was like, oh wow, well, so much for flying under the radar. Thanks, Les. I know we doing like media outside of work.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh, that happened to me when I was in corporate too. Cause when I still worked in corporate and I was doing the podcast and stuff, I never said anything about it. And then I would have people slacking me, like, you popped up on my TikTok, or like, you do you is this your podcast? Because I've been listening to it for a while and I didn't realize it was you. And I was like, Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_00That is hilarious. That is your podcast, it is hilarious. I'm like, your podcast pops up for me all the time, especially on TikTok, on Instagram, all of that. So I'm like, the girls are definitely listening, watching, and getting all the gems. And I was I really want to start the conversation with asking, like, how did you kind of get into podcasting? And like, when did the she's so lucky brand like come about? And I know you kind of had like a transition from balanced black girls to she's so lucky. So we'd love to hear like all of that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I feel like I need to like fabricate a really good story because I get asked this every day, and it's never a good story because when I first started Balanced Black Girl, the original name of my podcast, I was literally sitting at my job one day. I was
Starting A Podcast On A Whim
SPEAKER_03a social media manager at a startup, and the idea just popped in my head like start a podcast, name it Balanced Black Girl, interview black women in wellness. And I literally went on Amazon, bought a microphone, and just did it and like launched the show a week later. And it wasn't even like podcasting was something that I'd aspired to do for a long time, or like I really thought about it for a long time. I just immediately did it the second I got the idea and never stopped.
SPEAKER_00That's amazing. You just acted on literally impulse, and sometimes that's all it takes. I feel like a lot of times we sit with our ideas and our thoughts, and then somebody else manifests it for us. But I love that you did that. And then look, look how much success is uh it's has it has brought. So that's that's incredible. I love it.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Yeah. I was actually gonna say, um, like in terms of your your your like podcasting and and we know it's hard, right? Like we know it takes a lot of time. Like people we see like the sparks of like when your whatever your project is starts to pop, but they don't see the seven years that comes before it. Like Fortune Force, people like, oh my god, you're doing this amazing thing that's so cool right now. And I'm like, I've been doing this since 2017. Where were you 10 years ago? But like what for you was a pivotal moment where you really saw it take off because it went from an idea at your desk to being like, like, this is a thing for me, and then you left your career, right? Like, you were like, I'm gonna do podcasting full time. What did that pivotal moment look like for you?
SPEAKER_03What's interesting is that I've never had a pivotal moment. I've never had like a viral moment. All of a sudden I was put on to something or a few more people along the way.
SPEAKER_01No, I was gonna say it's funny because I feel like those type of careers have the most longevity. And it feels like when you're in it, it doesn't feel so much, but we see it all the time where something goes viral and it pops, and then tomorrow it's completely gone. So if you, for our listeners, you are in a place where you feel like, oh my god, I'm I'm I'm doing this thing and I don't have like my viral moment, that doesn't mean you're not progressing. And we talk about this like in relation to Tiana Taylor's um career. How long has she been doing what she's doing? And it wasn't up until last year, where she's now at the Oscars and like doing all these crazy things where we've always known about Tiana Taylor, right? Like we've always been hit, but the world is now like, oh my god, who's this star? And I think those sort of careers where you're building it brick by brick really when the pivotal moment does happen, it happens big and it sticks and it stays. It's not like a viral moment uh or a viral sound that scratches people's brain for a couple months and then nobody thinks about it after a year.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think that there's something to the skill building when something is a really slow build, or even like I worked in corporate America for 13 years before I decided to do content and the podcast full time.
Slow Growth, Skill Building, Corporate Lessons
SPEAKER_03And I also think that there was so much value in me spending time working at other companies because I was getting paid to learn. I got to work at really big companies and small companies and mid-sized companies, and I was a people manager and I got to work in different departments and see how a business was ran from every angle. I learned how to manage people, I learned how to build a team on someone else's dime and then could apply that to my own business. And I think sometimes we get so set on doing things on our own straight out the gate, but there's actually so much value in being able to actually learn, but it takes time to learn.
SPEAKER_01No, you definitely do. You are so right because and even like when I was working in different jobs or when I when I work in different areas, it's so important to have that perspective. Because if not, obviously you're gonna hate it, right? But it's like, what are you gonna learn while you're there? What are you gonna get paid to learn? Like for you with social media. And now, look, you have your own podcast and you know, like, okay, I learned these skills from where I was, and I can use that now for my own stuff. And I tell people this all the time like, go to places, take what you need from there, and apply it to your own thing because you're literally getting paid to learn.
SPEAKER_00It's true. Exactly. Very true. Well, listen, listen, I want to say this for any of our listeners who's chiming in, whether you're watching this on YouTube or listening, wherever you get your podcast. This is a unique episode because this is our first podcaster-to-podcaster interview. Like, we haven't had like a collaborative um podcast with someone else who has a podcaster. So I literally want to know this because I know Crystal and I have a process of how we kind of do things. But like, what is your process for selecting like whose voices are being amplified? Because I feel like you have such a great selection of guests that have been on your podcast. And like, how do you kind of like go about choosing that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's changed a lot over the years. I think the early days when I was first starting my podcast, my first handful of guests were me reaching out to friends and people that were in my immediate community at that time. I was still living in Seattle where I'm from. I was very involved in the wellness scene there. So it was
Choosing Guests And Rejecting Weak Pitches
SPEAKER_03me tapping on women who are involved in the Seattle wellness scene or tapping on my online friends who are very involved in wellness. And so in the early days, especially when I didn't know how to interview, I didn't know how to podcast, I wasn't gonna try and call up, you know, Michelle Obama when I've done two episodes on a little Amazon mic and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm gonna call my friend who I'm already comfortable talking to and practice and build those reps. And once I got a few months into podcasting, I started getting pitches. And that was really cool because I'm like, oh, I just, you know, I told y'all the origin story. I just started this on a whim, and now somebody wants to be on it and someone wants to be a part of it. That's really cool. So I was accepting a lot of pitches for a very long time. Now it's a little bit more like vibes. Um, it's more like, what do I want to learn about? Who do I want to talk to? What do I think is interesting and compelling, and what would I be excited to sit down and talk to somebody about for an hour? Um, and so these days it's a lot more of like me reaching out to people, inviting them on the show. I do receive a lot of pitches, but I don't uh I don't accept many because a lot of pitches that I receive are either things that we've like covered before in a lot of ways, and maybe it's something we've covered before and like the episode didn't do that well. And I'm like, yeah, no need to do this again. I don't think there's an appetite for this, or it's just something where I'm like, yeah, that's not that interesting to me, or like I'm not the right person to facilitate that conversation. And there's probably another podcast or another person who will be a better facilitator. Like when I get a lot of pitches around things like motherhood and stuff like that, I'm like, yeah, I'm probably not the best person to facilitate like a thoughtful conversation about that. So I don't tend to do a lot of episodes centered on topics like that. But a lot of it is just like, who do I get excited to sit down and talk to and then take it from there?
SPEAKER_00So that's what I love about podcasting, is it's one of those careers, it's one of those things where you literally can create your own reality. So I love that you're you talked about like having guests that you want and things you want to learn because a lot of things that we want to learn, other people want to learn too. So I I really love that you said that point because I think it's very important that we kind of like don't just go against what everybody wants to see. Sometimes we want to see something different. And I think that that's that's a great, great perspective to have with that.
SPEAKER_01That I also think, especially for our listeners, less we try to give like as many like tips and tricks for them to like take into their life. I think there's something to be said about being strategic with figuring out how you're pitching yourself, whether it's to a podcast or to this new job opportunity, right? It's like what when you are doing these things, what are you saying or or what are you bringing that's new to the table? What are you bringing that's exciting? What do you think is gonna move that conversation forward? Because if not, to your point, it's like you're kind of wasting your time doing these random pitches to like all these different platforms where it's like maybe you should angle this more towards something that's a little more focused towards women or motherhood or something like that. And and I just wanted to double down on for our listeners, like when you are doing pitches and and really putting yourself out there, be strategic. Think about what you are bringing to the table for that brand and that company or whatever it is, and why why is it good what what what's the advantage of having you on? Like, what's the point?
SPEAKER_03For real, what's the point? Yeah, and people don't think about that. And I'm gonna be totally honest. This is something I have these conversations a lot where like my podcast is a business and I have a lot of stakeholders who I have to keep happy. I I need to keep the listeners happy. I have advertisers that I need to keep happy, I have a lot of people who are supporting it. And also, my podcast is expensive. Like it's a full audio, video studio. I have support. Like it costs me thousands of dollars to create. So if you're not able or prepared to sit down and have a conversation that's going to bring in thousands of dollars of revenue so that I can keep it going, I it just doesn't really make sense. And so I think for people who are pitching themselves for opportunities, being really clear of not just what is this gonna do for me, but also like what are you gonna do for the person who you're pitching? How are you gonna provide something that's so interesting, so compelling, a piece of information you're willing to share on a show that you're not gonna share anywhere else? It has to benefit me too. It I it's not like a hobby where I'm just like putting a mic in front of everybody who wants one. If I give you a mic, you got to know what to do with it. And I think people need to really understand that. And I do think people have that value, but leading with that value is really important because I get a lot of pitches that almost have a little bit of a desperate energy where it's like, please, and then I have this book, and then I'm doing this thing, and I have this course and I need to sell it, and I need to be on your show. And like, it could be the best book, it could be the best course, but if that's the energy that you're giving, then I feel a lot of pressure of like, ooh, this is a lot. Now it's my job to sell your book and your course for you, as opposed to being like, here's what I offer, here's how your audience can benefit, here are some great topics that have never been done before. Like, there's so much more power in that.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah. And even, and even when it comes to like, here's how your audience can benefit and so on and so forth. Like, really look at the history, do your research. Did they already have this topic done? Was it successful? Was it not? Why didn't it work? Do you really want to waste your time doing this bitch? Because I also think we live in a day and age where, quite frankly, everybody thinks they have something to bring to the table. And it sounds good in theory, right? Like, but every table's different. What benefits whomever it is that you're talking to looks very different.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, I am with you. Yeah. Same. I totally agree. And I think honestly, the podcast industry as a whole, from people who are not necessarily in it, can be a little misunderstood. Because I don't think people, and I love that you said you pay thousands of dollars. Like, we've done the same thing. Like, I think that people don't understand how much money it takes to just do one episode. Like the cost of the equipment alone, then the personnel you have to hire. Then if you have like editors, if you have someone that's doing your social media, like all of that stuff costs. So, like when you get no shade, no tea, but like a family member or a friend that's like, oh my gosh, I see the successes of your podcast. Like, please have me on. And to you guys' point, it's like, what are you bringing? It's like one of those things where it's like, uh, like I love you, but no, this is like a job. This is a business, and this is like something I really need to do to sustain. And to that, I wanted to also ask you less, because I know we've experienced it. Have you ever like paid for a guest for to be on your podcast?
SPEAKER_03Ooh, I have it. I've never had any sort of monetary exchange. Um, I've never paid anyone to be on my show, and no one's ever paid me to be on the show. Um, I would consider podcasting more like an earned media. Um like, so yeah, I've never, I've never paid anybody to to be on. I would love to get to a point where maybe I could afford to like pay for people's travel or something if they're not based in New York or something like that. I'm not there yet. Thankfully, being in a city like New York, most people come here for press tours and I'm able to catch them when they're in town. Um but yeah, usually there's not any sort of monetary exchange.
SPEAKER_00Same, same on our end. And speaking of costs, I think this is a great opportunity for us to kind of talk about the cost of success. I know like all of us to some extent has have had to sacrifice something to kind of get where we are or to continue to grow in the direction of where we're trying to be. So I would love for us to talk about like what that looks like for us. Like what have we really had to lose or maybe even gain to be able to get to like the next level? Besides sleep. Yeah. Right. Because not getting any of
The Real Cost Of Success And Relationships
SPEAKER_00that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's probably the biggest one. And I mean, I think the biggest cost to success is like the impact on your relationships, you know. I think when you're building something and you're really focused on that, sometimes it can take you away from people that you care about. And it doesn't mean that you don't value that, but it's, you know, you can only do so much. You can only focus on so many things and be in so many places at once. And so I do think at times um it can definitely strain your relationships, whether that's friendships or family or with romantic partners or whatever. Um I think that's something that you're constantly needing to adjust. I mean, I know for me, like I'm 3,000 miles away from my family, you know, who I love and miss dearly. Um, but the opportunities that I'm getting now, I wouldn't get if I was in Seattle, you know? And I'm also somebody who like I'm an oldest daughter. When it's time for my parents to retire, I'm gonna need to help them. I need to help my siblings, I need to help my nieces and nephews. Like, I'm kind of the one who is who is gonna be the one who needs to help everybody else. And so also a lot of what I'm doing is so that I can be able to be in a position to help them and support them in the ways that they will need and that I would like to do. Um, but it definitely comes at a cost, for sure.
SPEAKER_00For sure. I I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I wake up sometimes and I'm like, yo, we really are the adults. Like, I still can't believe the responsibilities and the things I'm like, and I was never one of those like people growing up that I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't wait till I'm 18 or I'm 16. I can't wait till like I was never that person. Like, but now I'm just like, if I can go back, oh my gosh, I would just cherish those moments so much more because, like you said, like being an adult, you have so many things you have to worry about. Like, I think same about like my siblings and the things and responsibilities I'm gonna have in the near future and trying to prepare for that on top of just living everyday life is just a constant struggle. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think there's something to really be. Said about like missing monumental moments, and we always see it in the movies and stuff, but when you are chasing like you know, your version of success, you end up missing so many pivotal like family moments because you can't fly out every you know, every birthday, or you can't just drive down the block to see your family and and those things. You know, in real time, it's like, oh, it's fine, it's just a birthday, but in retrospect, it's like dang, you we really do sacrifice a lot, whether it's you know, we're chasing to make our podcast a number one, or you're chasing to get that new job or whatever. And I think there's something so important to be said about like making sure there's a balance between the two and you're not just in this this hustle culture, you know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I I think in sacrificing, I feel like it's so important when we realize like those moments where we kind of have to do things behind the scenes just to continue to build the momentum and the longevity. Not to say that you're not gonna be tired from getting to that next level of success, but more or less like what it is that we do to ours do for ourselves to pour into ourselves so that we're able to keep pushing, even if it's like a little feel you have. Like, I know for me, sleep is definitely something that like is being sacrificed, but I have to go to the gym. Like, that's like a non-negotiable. Like, if I'm not in the gym and it's not even about, oh, I want the abs. Yes, I want the abs and the fatty for sure. But it's a mental thing. Like, I'm in there just making sure I'm getting my mental on point. Because I think when you do that, it prepares you for so much. When I'm not in the gym, I feel it. I really feel it. I don't know if you ladies kind of like feel the same way. Well, I know less like you're also big in wellness, and I know Crystal, you're in the gym as well.
SPEAKER_05But like for me, girl, I'm just in there like now with McDonald's, a sausage McMuffin is only $150. Stop dreaming about breakfast sausage and go get it. Get more value on the under $3 menu.
SPEAKER_04Limit time only, prices and participation. Very prices may be higher for delivery.
SPEAKER_00Pep talking to myself, but it's not even just about the workout, it's about life. Like, you got this, you could get through this. You you need to like keep pushing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think I think the having having an outlet where you can kind of like turn it off is very important. So what that looks like for you could be very, you know, everybody's outlet is very different. I think for me, it's like watching TV shows, but like having an outlet where I can say, okay, I'm gonna literally turn it off. Because even like scrolling on social media sometimes, I say like oh, this is like my fun time. But the reality is most of the time I'm in there doing research and I'm like, I turn it off, Crystal. Like, I just turn it off. So for me, it's I love the gym, but I love just like turning on a TV show and unplugging. Um, because I think that another thing too, it's like as we're chasing success and and and we're in this like hustle culture, there's always like a sort of feeling that once you check something off, you're on to the next thing. Like there's also a pressure of constantly leveling up that comes with it. It almost makes you feel like, dang, am I never gonna be satisfied?
SPEAKER_03My hot take though is I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. And who knows, maybe I maybe I drank too much of Emma Green's Kool-Aid. I don't know. But I think like when you are an intelligent person who knows that you have more gas in the tank, I do think part of the human condition is a little bit of like, well, what am I capable of? And and what can I do next? Oh, I did this. That's amazing. I wonder if I can do that. I think that there's there's a way to balance it, no pun intended, where I think it's natural to want to continue improving yourself the same way if we talk about the gym. If you reach a point where you're doing bicep curls with 15 pounds and that gets easy, at some point you're gonna want to up the weight. Being able to do that kind of in your mind and with your life without it being like detrimental. I don't think everything has to be this like relentless pursuit of doing more. Um, but I I don't think that there's necessarily anything wrong with like wanting, wanting more, as long as it doesn't come at the expense of other people or your well-being.
SPEAKER_05Now with McDonald's, a McDouble is only 250. So you can get your gym games on or just get lunch for only 250. Get more value on the under-three dollar menu.
SPEAKER_04Limit time only. Price time participation may vary, prices may be higher for delivery.
SPEAKER_01I like that perspective because sometimes I'm like, dang, why do I have all this ambition in me? Like, why can't I just be happy with living in a farm somewhere in the middle of Florida? You know, like sometimes you would be bored. No, literally, and that's the answer. That's the answer. But like, you know, in the times where you feel like where you're feeling like doubtful or whatever, you're like, dang, like, why can't I just be happy with what I have? No, because you're right, because it is boring, it's to be in the farm and doing nothing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I used to feel that way. Like, my first job out of college, I worked at this like very big corporate company, and it's the type of company where people go and they stay for years, like they stay their whole career. You you work there for 30 years and you stay there for life. And I hated it. And I remember having that conversation with myself of like, why can't I just be satisfied with this? I got this job straight out of college. I could stay here for 40 years, I could buy a house in the suburbs and marry some medium ugly man and have 2.5 medium ugly kids by now and just be in the same job and be satisfied with it. But also, I know myself and I know that if I did that, I would be fucking miserable. I think like if you're not satisfied by something, it means that there's just something else out there for you. And I think the sooner that I started making peace with that, the less like struggle I felt with it.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. And with that, obviously, we have to make sure that we are maintaining ourselves and our longevity in this, in this hustle and this, this journey to find, you know, the next thing. And I would love to know what that looks like for you guys behind the scenes. Like, what does your infrastructure look like to make sure that you are, you know, in your best mental and and physical well-being to keep going.
SPEAKER_03I think I feel very grateful that wellness has always been like at the core of what I do. I kind of stumbled upon wellness when I was in my like late teens and early 20s. So I don't know what it's like to be an adult who like doesn't work out and who doesn't meditate and have those practices because I started it at a very young age. But I also think something that's really helpful for me is having a more seasonal approach to everything that I do. And I mean that for big seasons, and I also mean that for little seasons. So if I talk about big seasons, when I think about my 20s, my 20s were very much like me being in corporate, building a kind of foundation for myself, learning key skills. My 30s have been more of like my build kind of hustle years, not relentlessly, but yeah, I work a lot and I work hard and I'm building a lot of things, but I don't intend to do that in the same way in my 40s. I tend to still work and do creative projects, but have kind of a slower body of work where I won't be podcasting and creating social media content in the same way. I want to write books and I want to create TV shows and I want to have bodies of work that take longer. And so I think having the approach of I'm doing this to reach a point so that I can do something else is really helpful for me because that also helps you understand when enough is enough.
SPEAKER_01Another thing when it comes to like success and and and being so lucky, like something else that comes at a cost is dating. Like what dating looks like, figuring out who's dating for what reason. So for and and this we can pose this question for all of us, but like do you think that people love you guys or like the idea of you because they see your podcast, because they see you hosting a red carpet, Amanda? Like, what is the dating mindfield look like for you? And like, what are some things that you feel like you have to question now because of what you do in your career?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think dating, honestly, from my perspective, because I'm in a relationship, and I'm gonna be honest, dating looks different
Dating, Ambition, And De Centering Men
SPEAKER_00in all the stages that you're you're in. Like currently, I was literally thinking of the day, I was like, we're we've been so busy, we haven't actually gone on a physical date since like before my birthday. And I get and honestly, I know some people, some people probably feel like, oh my gosh, like I need to be dating every week. I need to be doing this and getting flowers and this, that, and the third. And I feel like because both myself and my boyfriend are entrepreneurs, like we know, like when we're in different seasons where we're trying to like probably get something off the ground. Like I know he's working on different projects. I'm working on different projects. So we require different things of each other, but you have to be kind of okay with that, right? I definitely know based on like certain things that have transpired, that genuinely, like like he loves me for who I am versus the idea of who I can be. And it's not a potential thing. And I wish women, we kind of started really dating people for where they are currently and not where we see the aspirations of where they're going to be. Because I feel like that messes us up so much because we're like, oh my gosh, he has everything he's gonna, you know, I see what he can do. And it's like, no, sis. What is he currently doing? Because that's more or less what you do every day is what you're gonna continue to do. You know what I mean? And I know certain people are at different levels, but we really have to date people based on where they're where they are and not where we see them going sometimes. Cause they may not get there. And if they get there, they may not stay with you.
SPEAKER_03That part, that's a good point. Are you a stepping stone to get them to where they want to be? And then once they get there, then what are they gonna do?
SPEAKER_00Right. Listen, that's so real. You know what's so funny? I think when you're saying that, Les, there's so many women. And I feel like I'm not gonna lie, I've said it at some point too, where we're like, the woman that gets him is gonna benefit so much because of what I put in. And sometimes I look at it like, you know what, it doesn't work out, and that's fine. Need to do is just like love the way we want to love, protect our heart, um, but don't feel a sense of like entitlement to a person based on the good things that you did for them.
SPEAKER_03I mean, there's there's the sunk cost fallacy of it all where it's so easy to stay in things because of the time that you put in or because you feel like you put a certain amount of investment in. I mean, I almost like to think of it like social security. It's like a pool that we all contribute to. You know what I mean? Everybody who we've been with, we leave them better than they were before. And at some point, you're hopefully gonna benefit from that as well, you know? Less. That is hilarious.
SPEAKER_01That's the way I think of it. You know? No, but that's a you know what? That is a positive perspective to have because, honey, I heard it is crazy out there in the field, and you know, women are putting in work um on these men, and then they're leaving and doing their own thing, and it's just aha mess out there. I also am in a relationship. Um, but for me, I think I experienced like before being in a relationship, a lot of a lot of interest because of what I do and not because of me. Because I don't know if I'm a spoiled brat behind the scenes. So I'm like, you don't really like me. I know you don't like me. You like what you see, and that's why you keep asking me to build. Oh my god, biggest red flag. Let's build. Go away, sir. I am not buying it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we don't want that.
SPEAKER_01But less, um, I think you had posted something on social media where you were talking about how like being in a relationship or like dating was kind of like on your mood board for the year and like for the first time in a long time, that is not the case for you. And I'd love to know, like, since you put that down and like taken that off your list, do you feel like now it's just coming organically? And when it does come, like what does that look like for you as a woman who has such a big platform and a voice?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think that was maybe like the end of 2024. It was when everyone was doing their Pinterest vision boards and I was doing mine. It was like my first time not putting a couple on it. Um, I guess that was 2024 going into 2025. Um, do I feel like that has helped it organically happen? No, it has not, because nothing has changed since then. But I have also realized that like for me, dating is just not a super big priority for me. Like, I'm not somebody who does it a lot and I'm like okay with it. Like it's just not interesting. It's not a priority. I mean, I have an open mind, I have an open heart. Like if I meet someone interesting or that I'm attracted to, you know, I'm all for it. But I in no way do I feel a need to like be in pursuit of it, nor do I feel like anything is like missing because that's not a big part of my life. But I also think that just comes with like time and age and maturity and like knowing what you want. And so even if it's like, do men like me because of my platform? I wouldn't even know. Wouldn't even know. I don't even talk to them. I don't know. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Um yeah.
SPEAKER_03And so yeah, it's just one of those things where yeah, it's like not a super big part of my life. And that's right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I was gonna say, when when that time comes, it's gonna, I I I'm hoping it's gonna be as beautiful as it needs to be for you because I I agree. I think sometimes like things are just not important. And and it's it's totally okay because we're we're building, we're growing, and and when it is important, listen, the universe and God is gonna make sure you see it clear and it's gonna come in the in the best possible way. So that's gonna be awesome.
SPEAKER_03You know, like I'm not tripping, tripping over looking for somebody who's not looking for me, you know? And so I just don't think that there needs to be this energy of like a constant, like gotta have, gotta pursue, gotta go on all these dates, gotta do. I'm like, I would actually kind of rather hang out with my friends and yeah, read a good book. Like, honestly, there have been so many times where I've been out on dates and I'm like, oh, I would have had way more fun just staying home. Yeah, it's a better use of my time.
SPEAKER_01No, no, for sure. I think that I mean, it's also like our age and like society. So people always feel pressure, like, I gotta freeze my eggs, I gotta I gotta start dating, I gotta find a man. And it's like it's very refreshing to hear from somebody who is not male-centered because it's very often where I'm out and like I might be at a table, and the table next to me, all the girls are talking about like men, and I'm like, can we talk about something else? Like, not make them necessarily. That's why they think they're the catch because they're constantly the center of attention, even when they're not in the room.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's just so like boring. I mean, I know I was talking to some friends a few months ago, and someone was kind of uh experiencing something with like a gentleman that she was dating where he kind of wasn't acting right, but he was trying to get it together, and he had said something along the lines of like something that she was doing was like really inspiring him to like do something different. And I'm like, Oh, that's great. When was the last time he inspired you? What has a man ever inspired you to do?
SPEAKER_00That part.
SPEAKER_03Because all they've inspired me to do is stay single, personally. Unclocked. When was the last time a man left you feeling inspired? Every time that I'm inspired, it's by something dope that I see a woman do. That's a good point. What what? What is there to even center? Yeah, they're just kind of there, and that's fine. But they're just there, you know? I agree.
SPEAKER_00I agree. And honestly, I say this all the time. I'm like, your girlfriends are your soulmates too. I love that women like how we pour into each other and how we do all the things because it's needed. And especially with us being like public-facing women and like having these social platforms and these, you know, these different um voices and what we do, like there's a mental cost that comes with that.
SPEAKER_03I think I had gotten really good at compartmentalizing. So for me, when I think about public-facing things and social media, even podcasting, like that's a job. That's clocking in from nine to five. The same way I probably ideally wouldn't want to break down if I was still working in the office. Like, I don't, I don't want to go on Instagram and and break down. I'm also very grateful to have people in my life offline who I do feel like I can, I can call and talk to in those instances where it's like, I don't even want, I don't even want the public to like see that because honestly, it makes me feel worse. Like I've done it and I've shared the vulnerable crying videos, and 10 out of 10 times I feel worse than I did in the beginning.
Social Media Boundaries And Safe Vulnerability
SPEAKER_03Um and so I think for me, I kind of like having a little bit of separation where it's like, yeah, people can think that things are Gucci. And it doesn't mean that I'm being fake on the internet, but like to an extent, that is a character. That's not the full totality of who I am, and the full totality of who I am, I keep for people who know me in real life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you have to have some a little something to yourself. And I feel I I admire people who are able to show like all their emotions and stuff online. And I think it definitely fuels a lot of people and it definitely like heals a lot of people. But I do agree, like I approach social media from a standpoint of this is work.
SPEAKER_01No, same. I think um public facing, I have I I maybe I also have gotten really good with cart compartmentalizing, but like I'm very much like public facing, never let them see a sweat. Nobody ever.
SPEAKER_00Like same.
SPEAKER_01That's also why like my social media doesn't do that good, because I'm very not vulnerable on social media and I need to get better about that. And like figuring out, okay, like this piece I can share, this piece I cannot share. For me, I'm very much like nothing personal. However, behind the scenes, I'm banging pots and pans on my head, like freaking out with the people that's close to me, and I'm like spiraling and I'm crashing out about things because you know, and and and one thing it's like something that I said the other days, which I which kind of like made me give myself a little more grades, was like, I'm building a business for the first time. I'm a first-time college student, first-time college graduate. Like I'm first generation in a lot of things, and I'm like, I need to chill out. Like, I need to chill out because I'm very hard on myself mentally, you know, behind the scenes, but in front of, you know, in front of the scenes when I'm on, I'm on. And yeah, I don't feel like I can ever, you know, sometimes I want to be sassy about certain things that happen, but I'm like, I'm a business owner. Sorry, can't do it. Like, keep it very cute. And I'm I'm kind of like very old school in that way. And I feel like we all are here.
SPEAKER_00Agreed.
SPEAKER_03And I I don't think that's a bad thing though. And I think some of my biggest regrets are being a little too vulnerable on social media because I don't think that it does the healing for us or the audience that we think it does. I think it creates a space for people to commiserate and continue to feed off of negativity. And I think that there are ways to show your humanity that don't involve like broadcasting every time you're down horrendous. Because I notice every time I've done that, it has just attracted miserable people, honestly. And it's not, and I feel so much more supported when I'm actually talking to and being poured into from people who understand me, from mentors, from fellow creatives and entrepreneurs who actually understand, as opposed to then having a bunch of either people who want to feel validated in the things that are also not going well for them, which is why that content tends to do so well, or then inviting in so many opinions and criticisms from the peanut gallery of people who actually don't understand what you're going through. And so I think that there is a dance there where we can be a little funny, we can be a little goofy, we can show that humanity. But I actually think that like saving those moments for truly safe spaces and the internet is not a safe space, no matter how much we like to think it is, it's not. I think being in truly safe spaces for those moments of vulnerability is more important.
SPEAKER_01Um, but speaking of social media, before we go, we already know social media plays such a big role in not only our lives, but you know, everybody's freaking life. Everybody has social media. So what are some things that you are gatekeeping right now from your social media following in a fun, lighthearted way?
SPEAKER_03In a fun, lighthearted way. Ooh, I would say um I've been doing a lot more writing, which is um really, really fun, working on writing some fiction. I'm in creative writing classes right now, and I'm just really strengthening my muscles as a writer. Um, and so I've enjoyed sharing that with like other writers so that I can improve my craft, but it's not something that I'm publishing publicly for everybody to get their thoughts around. So yeah, I would say
Gatekeeping, Romanticizing Life, Recovery Routines
SPEAKER_03my writer's journey is something that I'm gatekeeping from social media for the time being.
SPEAKER_00I love that. I love that, yes, and congrats on your writing journey. I love that. I think from social, from a social media standpoint, because you know we are in the oversharing um season right now. So I do agree with the girls saying we do need to gatekeep some things. I feel like we share a lot um online, whether it's links and like, you know, spots. I'm not I'm not sharing the spots I frequent every day. Like I'm not sharing my coffee shop that I go to because I don't want to walk in there and feel like I have to be in makeup and ready to go. Um, so I I feel like I gatekeep those things, like, you know, my my favorite spots to to go to all the time. Like I don't want. And I post, I'm I'm already a person that posts like weeks later after I've already left the place, like or days later. Like I don't I don't believe in real time posting at all for your safety. Yeah. Gatekeeping work. I'm at.
SPEAKER_01You guys don't find me. Okay. I mean, I'm um this is hard for me because I feel like I gatekeep everything because literally I feel like I'm such a like I can't find that balance of like sharing this and not sharing Christmas. So what's your sign? I'm an Aries.
SPEAKER_03Okay, you're an Aries. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_00We both are actually.
SPEAKER_03You're both Aries. Oh my goodness. Wait, that's so good. We have the same berry. Oh my gosh. Wait, I love that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but we're very opposite. Like it's the funniest thing ever. Literally. But Amanda's also from Florida. She's a Southern Belle, and I'm from New York, so can you blame me?
SPEAKER_00You consider you consider Florida, like I don't consider Miami Southern Belle. I don't consider Florida Southern Bell.
SPEAKER_01More Southern Bell than New York, honey. No. Um, okay, now, what is everybody romanticizing in life right now? Okay, I'll go first. Yeah, I'm like, romanticizing my drive to work with my coffee. Just me, my coffee, my music, and just like really vibing. I'm not posting it on social media. However, I'm romanticizing it. Because if you think about it, right, like sometimes we look at videos of people, you know, driving to work and like, oh my, oh my, oh my god, they're got like they romanticize their, you know, simple thing so well. And I'm like, why don't we do that with the simple things in our life? So for me right now, it's like romanticizing my car drive to work. Or it's just making it.
SPEAKER_00I think I'm romanticizing a year or summer and I'm trying to manifest it at the same time. That's called manifesting, Amanda. No, it's called romanticizing because I feel like I'm definitely going to be there. So I'm just literally like, it just gives me something to look forward to when I'm in the midst of like deep, knee deep into work and doing stuff. I'm like, you know what, girl, just keep at it because you know that you're gonna be sipping, you know, some lemon cello soon. So just like for me, I'm romanticizing like summer travels. Like it just it kind of gets me going. So I love, I love that. I'm looking forward to it.
SPEAKER_03That okay, I've been romanticizing my post-workout recovery because here's the thing: as you get older, what you used to get used to get away with just leaving the work, leaving the gym right after the workout, not stretching and stuff. You listen, today's price is not yesterday's price, and your body will pay. So I now have to stretch and cool down and recover post-workout every day. But I've been forcing myself to romanticize it. Like I've been using more of the recovery tools in my gym, doing a little post-workout stretch to a good playlist. I will sit and use the compression boots in the gym, but I'll use that. I'll like habit stack it with my reading time because I usually like to exercise and read for at least 30 minutes before going on social media every day. So I'll use the compression boots while I'm reading to kind of have it stack that. Um so I've been romanticizing that for my aching though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, that's good. Two things at once. I love that. That's good. I'm glad you said the stretching. I'm glad. My back, my Les, my back and crystal, my back has been hurting me. I'm like, yo, is this what happens in the 30s? Yes. Why? Yes.
SPEAKER_01It is. Okay, and then last question before we go, Les, we always like to leave our listeners with a little elevation nugget. So if you have one that you'd like to share, like just some inspiring words to help them keep going, or any tools that you think they should implement in their life that can help them elevate. You just said habit stacking. I'm like, what maybe I need to do that. Maybe I need to have stack.
SPEAKER_03Um, what would be your elevation message? My elevation message, I think we spend too much time looking for people outside of us to have the answers when I think the answers are often already in us, and the answers are in what we're avoiding. It's in that task that we're avoiding, it's in that consistency that we're avoiding, it's in that thing that we know we want to do, but we want other people to give us
Elevation Nugget And Closing
SPEAKER_03permission. Nobody outside of you has more answers than you.
SPEAKER_00I love that. That's so good. So good.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much for coming um on our elevators episode this week. We honestly love talking with you. We wish we had more to flip. Like, don't do the questions. You're like, let's have to go. But yes, please come back and join us. We really much appreciated um you sharing your insight and and and your perspective on things. Thank you so much for joining us. I hope the listeners enjoyed it. I know they enjoyed it. So make sure y'all like, comment, subscribe, and share this episode with somebody you think um it could help because that's what elevating is all about.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for having me. This was so fun. So if you guys want to keep in touch with me, you can listen to She's So Lucky every Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts. You can follow me on Instagram at Les Alfred, and you can follow me on TikTok at the lucky less.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Les.