Elevathers
Hosted by entertainment pros Amanda Booz and Krystal Vega, each episode dives into the real stories behind modern womanhood, from the highs of entrepreneurship and personal wins to the lows of heartbreak and self-doubt.
They break down trending topics, relationship dynamics, career pivots, and everything in between, all with honesty, humor, and a dose of sisterhood. Whether you're chasing your next level or rebuilding from scratch, this is your space to feel seen, supported and inspired.
El·e·vat·hers: /ˈeləˌvāt/hers/ Women who continue to transcend through the peaks and valleys of life's journey while maintaining authenticity and grace.
Elevathers
Are Your New Friends Real Or Just Adapting To You?
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Someone can feel like your exact match and still be the wrong person to let in. We start with a real weekly reset conversation: the post-vacation bounce back, getting back in the gym, meal prepping without burning out, and how small routines like planning outfits or setting out workout clothes can protect your time, money, and energy. If you’re trying to stay consistent with health and wellness goals, productivity, and a calmer schedule, this is the kind of preparation that turns a messy week into a manageable one.
From there, we get into the bigger topic: chameleon people. We break down what it looks like when someone mirrors your interests to gain access to your life, why it can feel like “alignment,” and how it often shows up in adult friendships, the workplace, and dating. We talk about takers vs givers, why oversharing too early can backfire, and how intensity at the beginning can be a warning sign, not a compliment.
We also share a real story of a new friendship that looked promising until the mask slipped, plus practical tips for discernment: watch consistency over time, make space for differences, and listen more than you talk early on, especially when you’re dating. If you’re meeting new people this summer, consider this your reminder that peace is a priority. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest chameleon red flag.
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Summer Schedule And Weekly Reset
SPEAKER_00Welcome back to another episode. I'm Amanda Booz for those who are listening. I'm Crystal Vega, and we're so excited to be bringing you a new episode every week for the summer. We are here. Happy Monday. Let's kick off this week together strong and really just set the tone for like our expectations, like what we plan to do, how we plan to crush our goals. But I'm excited to be coming to y'all every single week this summer. How are you doing, Amanda?
SPEAKER_01I'm good, girl. Um, I like that we're both wearing black, unplanned. We did not plan to wear black on this show, but you know, that's just how this, this, that's just how things happen. But I'm doing really good. I feel like this weekend, I've been doing a little bit of like resetting from like the travels. I know last week we were talking about all of our summer travels that we've done so far. Work and fun. So this week I'm like getting my life in order, y'all. You know how it is when you go on a trip and you just really gotta like regroup and like reset. Yes, girl. That's what I was doing this weekend. And I don't know, it's been really fun. And we actually went to an event together this weekend, which was fun. I know you did like a couple different things. So, what about you, girl? What's how's your weekend?
SPEAKER_00How's the start of your week? Like, what are you feeling right now? I feel very much the same as you. The bounce back from a vacation is crazy. It's almost like a hangover. It's not the same in your 30s as it was in your 20s. Like, maybe it's because I went to Europe and then I came back and I hosted a bunch of my friends right after. So everything was so back to back. But this weekend, I like cleaned my house, got some things together. Um, but yeah, I've just been like getting realigned and making sure that I am just doing what I have to do in between like all this madness because I feel like life is always gonna be crazy. There's always gonna be something that happens, right? Like there's always going to be something. And this year, I I think I said this on the podcast, but like I'm really focused on staying grounded in my routines and my goals and responsibilities, even while life is happening, because it's always gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. I a thousand percent agree. So, with that said, I am so excited about this week because I am back in the gym. I'm getting back in my routine, like you said. I'm making sure I'm meal prepping, getting my life in order, emails, computer, doing all the things. Don't no one ask me to go anywhere this week. Like, I'm not going anywhere. I know we have a date on Friday, but outside of that, I am not doing a thing if it's not work-related or me like doing anything health and wellness to better myself. Like, I just need, I don't want to go anywhere. Like, I'm just, I want to be at home. I want to be a homebody. I wanna be a Kermit Kermit, whatever, Kermit crab or whatever, whatever they like. Hermit crab? Not me kermit crab. I was trying to say crabby, crabby, batty, whatever. Hermit crab in the house. I don't want to do anything. I want to be a homebody all week and be on.
Preparation That Makes The Week Easier
SPEAKER_00Wait, can we, can we talk about, since we're talking about like new week, new all the things, can we talk about how prepping is so important to help us accomplish our goals throughout the week? Yeah, it is. I know this is this is a super side like step, side quest for us because we were planning to talk about something else, but can we talk about how important preparation is? And like whether you prepare on a Sunday or a Monday, whatever that look, you could prepare on a Tuesday or a Wednesday. And I say that because I get Monday scaries, so I hate preparing on like Sundays. Instead, I'll do like Saturdays for the rest of the week, or I'll do like Monday for the rest of the week. But preparing is so important for me because I don't know about chow, but let me know what works for you guys. But like if I don't cook my meals in advance, I literally cook myself for the week because I end up ordering out every single day. So that's like wasting money, not meeting like my goals for the week financially. I end up eating nonsense because when you order out, I mean, what are you gonna be ordering? You're not gonna order five-star meals, right? And even if you did, they don't taste the same when they get to your house. Um, and it just completely throws off my routine because ordering at all different types of time of the day and like it's just really it just one day of preparation could literally make or break my entire week. Did does that happen to you? No, for sure.
SPEAKER_01I I'm very like structured in how I do things. And one little thing could throw me off. Like, I know I've joked about it on the podcast. Like, if you've been rocking with us for a minute, I've talked about this like I think in season one. I'm a stickler for like routines down to like making it my bed. If I don't make up my bed in the morning, I already know that's it's literally the recipe for a horrible day. There's never been a day that I've had that was so amazing where my bed wasn't made. If my bed is not made, like I don't know what type of like chemistry there is with that. I'm like, everything goes like to whack. So when it relates to like meal prepping and like making sure everything's in order, I have to do that. And honestly, I don't love meal prepping like seven days. I like to meal prep for like three to four days because I really don't think you should do the same thing for the whole entire week. So I love doing that like on a Sunday, like and resetting it and kind of romanticizing it, like what I'm gonna eat for the week, what I'm gonna eat, like, you know, for the next couple of days. But when I notice I do that, I'm in the best shape of my life. I have like better energy, everything just flows like like just so good. So I love doing that.
SPEAKER_00And I want to encourage our listeners, figure out what it is that you need to do one day on the weekend that will really set you up for success throughout the week. And for me, it's it's definitely meal prepping. And I'm I'm with you, Amanda. Like I will not cook everything on a Sunday or a Monday, absolutely not. Yuck, I hate leftovers. Like nothing past a day I can eat. Um, but I like to season and cut up anything that I can cut up in advance. So when I am cooking in real time, whether I'm cooking like for today and then my lunch for tomorrow, I'm just throwing it all together and putting in the pop because cooking can easily be like a 15-minute thing or an hour and a half for me, depending on what I'm cooking, depending on what needs to be prepped. So, like if I can cut off an hour or 45 minutes of prep time, I'm gonna do that.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00And for me, I like to season my meats and stuff like that one day and then roll it out for the week. And literally, I have like a menu. My man he thinks this is a restaurant, but I'm like, okay, this is what we're gonna eat for lunch and dinner this day, that day, whatever, whatever. And like this is what we're gonna have for breakfast, and everything's all set out. And for me, it's like I don't really have time to make those decisions throughout the week. So I try to silence the noise as much as possible. So, like I said, meal prepping, um, but followed by meal prepping, it's like honestly, clothes, yeah, deciding what I'm gonna wear for the week. Uh, and now that I am in the office at work, y'all, I have not been an outfit repeater this much in a long time. When I tell you I wear the same things and I just change a little top, change a little pants, go here, go there. That's the type of time I'm on because I know after work I have more work. I have to focus on my business, I have to focus on the podcast. So I really need the silence and madness of the week to be at a minimum. And if I can control that by doing a little bit of prepping throughout the week, end, that's what I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_01We love a fashionably sustainable girl. We love that. We love that. Yes, girl. You need to wear your outfits. We've said this to you so many times. Repeat clothes, wear your outfits. Like, you don't buy stuff to wear at one time. Like, definitely do that repetitively. And you know what? Down to honestly, if you know you're wanting to work out in the morning, I would say down to even putting your workout clothes out the night before is super helpful in making sure that you're setting yourself up for success. I know some people go the extra mile sleeping the workout clothes. I don't do that. I'm not sleeping in my workout clothes. I'm also not a 5 a.m. workout girly yet. Maybe if I got to that point, I may, but I just don't believe in that. Um, so I won't be doing that. But I think saying all that to say just early preparation is just prevent, you know what they say? Prior preparation for prevents piss poor performance. Always. Like you have to prepare in advance. But you know what? Side note, I wanted to say something. I
Meal Prep And Outfit Planning
SPEAKER_01know we're talking about this, but this is totally offline and this is an off bar. I felt a little FOMO this weekend, and I never thought I was gonna feel that from the Jay-Z concert. Did you feel like I just feel like I wanted to be in New York this weekend? Like, New York is on a run right now.
SPEAKER_00Yo, literally, and it makes me think is that why he decided yeah, it's been on a run. Well, no, actually, his tickets went on sale before the Knicks won the championship. But like, who would have thought that New York is on fire between the mayor just flipping things around, like pancakes and like really making things happen and like scratching off the promises that he said he was gonna do, he's checking it off. One, done, one, done. Um, so between that and like just like the spirit being so alive in New York City, it's a beautiful thing to see. But I did not have FOMO. And not my FOMO girl.
SPEAKER_01I'm a Jay-Z, like I love Jay-Z. So I'm not like, you know, like a super fan, like I'm not a super stand, but I do love Jay as an artist, his music, and also just like his like his journey throughout like where he started and like what he's doing now, like as a billion, like he literally came from nothing in billionaire status. Like anybody like that, you gotta have to like admire like the journey and all that. Then I definitely love um the music for sure. So I was just like, yo, I love that. It's just giving New York summer energy. And then also the finals for the World Cup, I think is next week in New York. I'm like, yo, New York is just up, the stock is going up. You know how Fat Joe said yesterday's price is not today's price. Like the price is just going up, everything is just amazing. Like, I just feel like I just want to be in the city. I have to, I have to go back. I was in New York for like a split second, but I'm like, I'm going back for like a good little week or something.
SPEAKER_00And Taylor Swift and her man got married there. Like, there's just so much happening in New York. I know, I know, you don't care. You're not even talking about it. No, I know, but like I'm just saying, there's a lot happening over there, whether we agree or not.
SPEAKER_01I would hate for the wedding to be like something that I'm not saying I want like a super loud wedding where everybody's talking about it, but I would hate that it had to be so like secretive and private. And like Madison Square Garden, like what is that about?
SPEAKER_00Like high-level security.
SPEAKER_01I don't like it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I I actually didn't see any like videos on it, which I don't think. Oh, it's a robot on anybody.
SPEAKER_01I'm sure people magazine or like Vogue or someone paid top dollars to be the first. Because I don't know if you guys know that, but whenever people get married and you don't see their content right away, because I've learned this from friends who've gotten married, sometimes they're paying for a brand, like will pay for the rights of the content to roll it out first, like for the virality of it. So, like if it's gonna go viral, we know when the photos come out from this wedding, it's gonna go viral. So let's say if like Vulgar People magazine has the first look at this wedding, like that stock goes up for that publication. So I think that's why it was probably under wraps so tight because they're probably gonna do like a very nice roll. And I'm sure it was a beautiful wedding. Kudos to them, but yeah, girl, not into it.
SPEAKER_00No, I feel you. Um, but yeah, I don't feel FOMO, and I think it's because I have just came off of so much traveling, and I'm like, Yeah, let me just let me see some videos of it, honestly. I'm just at that age where I'm like, I want to be there. If I could, if I could go like this and be there and then be back home, take me there. But the whole like song and dance to get there and all the things, I was like, I don't even want to think about it. Like, uh, but it did look very lit and like what a time and what an experience to have. Yeah, that's fire. I love that.
SPEAKER_01So shout out to everybody who enjoyed Hove's concerts this past weekend. If you did, let us know in the comments what you thought about it. Um, and thank you guys for tuning in. We have a very special show for you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, as we get older, I think we have talked about like making friends in our grown age.
New York FOMO And Pop Culture
SPEAKER_00And I think this big age show. Big age. Yeah. And, you know, I was thinking about it, about like how sometimes it's either very easy for people or not so much. But I was thinking about the fact that we don't necessarily keep an eye out enough at this age anymore for like chameleon people generally. And that could be men, that could be women, but as we sort of like navigate life these days, I think it's really important to pay attention to those type of people and not introducing them into your life because they are very good at being chameleon, straight up. Like, so they're very good at liking the things you like all of a sudden.
SPEAKER_01Right. And I'm like, yeah, let's break, let's break down what a chameleon is. Because some people probably are like, well, what? You know, what is she talking about? Yeah, break it in. Is not a dumb question. So we definitely want to break down what a chameleon is. And if you
What Chameleon People Look Like
SPEAKER_01think about like the animal, a chameleon, and there's other animals and reptiles that kind of change with their environment. So they may be one color in one environment, whether it's green, and then they get in the woods and it's brown, they change their skin color, can change automatically to brown or whatever the color is. They change depending on the environment. So when Chris was saying this, it's like people also do that.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And if you are struggling to find like more friends at this age or like a partner, um, whether that's a guy or a girl, I think you overexpose yourself to chameleon type of people who are willing to like bend and flex who they are all of a sudden just to be involved in your life. And that's very scary because those type of people end up wearing off. Like they can only put on a show, but for so long. And a lot of times those people, they're takers, like they're there to take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take from you. And as long as you let a taker take, they don't take. And a giver will always give. So that relationship is never equal, unfortunately. But I thought about this because again, so many people like are looking for relationships. And I feel like when you are are striving, you put that energy out there and they can feel it, yo. Like they can feel like all of a sudden now he's watching Love Island. Because you like Love Island, you know, and you have to be, you have to be super careful with those kind of people because again, that's not who they truly are. And eventually those type of people end up showing you their true colors. And the same for your workplace, yo. Like, you have to be extra careful for those people in your workplace because you let them in, you tell them your business, and you're like, oh my god, kiki, ha ha. And then all of a sudden, when something don't go their way, things start hitting the fan for you. And at this big age, you probably done told them your entire life story.
SPEAKER_01And I honestly think that people prey on desperation. They smell it, like you said. Like, if you are just super like eager to be accepted into something, like you'll find your people, but they're not gonna be the people that you need in your life. They're gonna be people that like they're just feeding off of the fact that you are in need of something that you totally like don't have a good um perspective on if they're really good for you, if that's really a genuine person. I remember so funny. I I'm trying to think, I was trying to think if I've ever experienced this in my life. Um, because I would love to like
When A New Friend Switches Up
SPEAKER_01connect like a real life experience. And I do recall somebody that I thought was gonna be a good friend, right? And this is like this is also a newfound situation. So I am totally okay with not making new friends. And if I make new friends, that is a bonus, right? Because I have a really good friend group. I have a lot of friends. Um, and I'm not saying I'm closing myself off from accepting new friendships, but also like at this age, I have friends that have known me for a long time. And there's friends that have also known me for a shorter period of time, but it I'm not really opening myself up to that, right? So for this particular situation, I opened myself up to get to know somebody. And he was super cool. And I was like, it was like a guy friend. Um, and he was super cool. And I was like, okay, and I feel like everything that I said I liked, he kind of liked, like similar to what you're saying. And girl, down to wanting to do a podcast. This is before me and Crystal even thought about doing a podcast, right? And I noticed that this person was like looking at my Instagram. They were like, oh my God, like kind of like sharing their praises for me. And I appreciated that. Like, you know, I thought it was very sweet, but like I also think that people do feed off of how you may benefit them, right? And how like the things and the accolades and the things that you've achieved and accomplished. Sometimes people want to like be so close to that and you don't realize like when making friends that sometimes people one, and I'm not saying this person was, but one can be jealous or two just want to get super close to you so they can kind of tap into how you got there, not knowing that it's taken years and like trial and error and so much for you to get to this point, right? So this person all of a sudden wanted to do podcasts with me. And I was like, at that point, I was just like, what you mean? What you mean by that? Like, why do you all of a sudden want to do a podcast? Like, you know what I mean? It was just different things that I was noticing that I was just like wondering like why this person wasn't expressing this interest when I first got to know them, and they were just more or less like saying all these things. And then, girl, I think one thing that happened was we were supposed to go, we were supposed to do something. And I think something came up in my schedule and I couldn't do it. And I was like, you know, I let them know in advance, and they just like took that one item and they like gastrocized it. They were just like, oh my God, this is such a big deal. Like, why would you cancel? And I was like, see, I don't need all this drama, this drama. Like, I was just like, you know what? You were just acting the way you were because you wanted to get close, you wanted to be friends. And when one thing didn't work out, it just was like hell broke loose.
SPEAKER_00So no, literally, and like it will they like I said, they will always show their true colors, but it you that's why you have to be very careful, especially at this age. And and listen, I'm not saying I'm not open to new friends, but I am saying I very much critically think and overthink when I am welcoming people into my life now. Because also, quite frankly, I don't have as much time for new friends as I probably would like. Like, so I'm like, if I'm gonna make a little space to somebody, let me make sure it's the right person. Exactly. And I think a lot of times, like when you meet somebody, if it's a girl and you're like, oh my god, me and her are kicking it, like we are hitting it off so much, or like anybody, oh, me and this person are hitting it off so much, it feels like alignment, but it's really performative for them. And their intentions can be very different, whether that's you know, a man who's like, hey, I want to be let me, let me, let me love bomb her. Amanda has talked about that on this podcast. Let me love bomb her. Or it's a girl who's like, you know, doesn't have friends and she's looking for friends, which I I also have thoughts about people who can't keep friendships or have no existing friendships but are looking for friends. You know, I feel the same way.
SPEAKER_01Like, no shade. I feel the same exact way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, sus. Absolutely sus. All shade. Very weird. If you can't keep friends, mm-mm, you're not gonna be able to keep me because I'm the worst kind of friend. I don't call you, I don't text you for three months, but when I do, it's a good time. Okay. Um, but yeah, so like I was just thinking, like, dang, it's so crazy how we have to be aware of so much more in our 30s when it comes to like making relationships and making the right relationships and making sure that people are just being like genuine these days. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That people don't necessarily want something from you. And I think that that's the the recipe for the best types of friendships. And honestly, I'm I know now more in our 30s that we like, I appreciate those friendships, like the ones that you're mentioning, where you don't talk to this person all the time. Cause think about it. The friends that are calling you every day, that is checking on you every day, like if it's not like your best friend, like your girl or your guy that you're really super close to that knows you on that level to be even like on your line like that, like those people I'm very weary of because I'm like, why are you like so like you know what I mean? Amazing, so intense in the beginning. We're just meeting each other. Like, so people who are super like dependent on talking to you all the time and like, what are you doing? Where are you at? How are you feeling? This, that, and the third. Like, are we good? Are we not good? I didn't hear from you yesterday. Like, I do not have the time for all that.
SPEAKER_00Like, girl. Relax. Those relationships are so exhausting. I cannot, I could barely keep up with myself, let alone a relationship. I have lost friends for that because I'm just not good at that. And honestly, I have never really been good at that, like since high school. And I have had friends who are like, yeah, you don't look for me. And I'm like, yeah, because I'm looking for myself right now.
SPEAKER_01Okay, like I can't even keep up. It's so hard. It's so hard. I think I've seen this on threads and I thought it was so funny. And it was like, I hate to sound like a lion, man. I got a lot of things going on. And it was real. I was like, I don't know. The realest thing I seen this past week on threads. I was like, yo, that is so real because honestly, at this age, we got a lot of things going on. So if I gotta maintain certain friendships that just require way too much out of me, I'm clocking out. That's just all the way. All the way.
SPEAKER_00Like if I say, hey girl, we're gonna meet today and then we don't meet, I don't need you mad at me about it. Yeah, I don't. Because we we just got too much going on. I think another another reason people find it hard to like make relationships, new relationships in you know, their older age
Adult Friendship Boundaries And Energy
SPEAKER_00separately from chameleons existing out there is because everybody's so stuck in their ways. So it's like you are getting who that person's gonna be, you know, like good and bad. And I think because of that, people are just struggle very much, like finding somebody to click with, whether that's in a relationship or that's in a friendship, because everybody's already who they are is what you see is what you get. You know? And I think as long as you are using your discernment to decipher if what you see is age and Genuine and not a chameleon. Um, or B something that fits you, uh, you need to just decipher those things quickly because we are getting older. Nobody has time, you know, time to waste. Um, no energy to waste on new people, uh, trying to build new relationships that might not work because of X, Y, Z or whatever the case may be.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and with the chameleon thoughts of like friends, friends or people who come in your life, whether it's like a guy friend, a platonic friendship, or like, you know, someone that's just super trying to get close to you, or even family. Um, because family could be chameleons too. Let's not, let's not say that that's not possible. I do not, I personally, I can't, I don't think I can be friends. Like, granted, I have friends that have similar interests and tastes in things that like we both share mutually that we all like. But I don't think I can really truly value friendships where we're identical. Like, I don't like feeling like everything I am into and I like you're into because guess what? I want to learn something from you. Like, I want you to be able to do something that I don't do so I could be like, hey girl, tell me how to do that, teach me how to do that. I wanna learn how to do that. Like, that is so boring if we lived in a world where our friends and I did like if we were literally identical twins, like that would be so boring. If we weren't born that way, I don't want it to be that way. Like if I just I would not enjoy that. That would be so annoying. Like I just need that.
SPEAKER_00I always thought, and maybe, maybe we're talking to ourselves, because honestly, you and I are very similar. So maybe this, maybe this conversation doesn't provide enough different perspectives. But like I have always felt like, dang, am I selfish? Because I absolutely hate when I feel like people are copying me. I'm like, do your own thing. But because I'm like, dang, girl, I know like you and I should have similar tastes, but like I don't need you to like everything I like. Like, show me something different to your point.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Let's talk talk to me about how you did something different today, and I should I should go try it. Not about how we're doing the same thing at the same time, two peas in a pot. No, we're too grown for that.
SPEAKER_01Back in the day, that was cute. Like back in the day when we were like in high school and you and your friends would do besties dress alike, you know, all the things. Like, that was cute. Now I'm like, I don't know. I'm not no no shame to the friends that do it. I don't think it's there's nothing wrong. If you like it, so be it. But just for me, I'm just like, I can't.
SPEAKER_00I'm no, I feel you. No, I'm very much the same. And I always thought, I'm like, oh my god, I'm so selfish, but nah, good to know that I'm not, and I'm not the only person in the world that feels like this. Because we could dress like we're going to the same party, but we don't need to look like Bobsy twins at this grown age.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I have a very close friend, and she's gonna listen to this and she's gonna know I'm talking about her. That she will, and you know exactly what I'm talking about. She will be like, girl, what are you wearing to this thing? And I'm like, I'm gonna wear what I want to wear. Why do we have to be dressed the same? Like, I want to do what I'm doing, and then we're just gonna be there. I'm gonna obviously dress like we're going to the same place. And I think there's nothing wrong with asking your friend what they're wearing. But my girl will be like, now to the color. Like, what color you got? Like, what color you what? And I'm like, girl, I don't know. I didn't even look in the closet yet. I'm not even That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, I'm so cute. I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm so cute.
SPEAKER_01She will be down to the like, okay, what style? This, that, and the third. And I'm like, I love you, but I don't know what I'm wearing and I don't know what I'm doing. But she would love if we dressed alike. I would say that. Um, but yeah, I just don't think it's it's it's necessary for you and your friends to share the same things because like there's no possible way that you guys have every single thing in common. Like that just to me does not, that doesn't make sense. And why would you be friends with somebody that you have every single thing in common? Because like, what is it that you're learning from each other? It's like I'm just gonna be yourself. No, we literally might as well just be be by yourself, okay? Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it. So, yeah, chameleon friends and chameleon men, it's a no for me. Like, I hate people who and we could we could even touch a little bit more on the men side of things as it relates to relationships
Why Copying Feels Like A Red Flag
SPEAKER_01because we want our girl. Girl, they're the worst to be up on the red flags when it relates to men. Like, yes, you have to know if a man is truly genuinely doing things for you because he wants to do these things, or he's only doing it because he likes you and he's trying to get something from you that you're not ready to get.
SPEAKER_00I know that's right. Let me tell you something. My number one tip would be like for the first couple weeks, listen more than you talk. They talk so damn much, they'll give it up. Girl, you don't even gotta, you don't even gotta pull teeth. Let them do all the talking for the first couple weeks. You'd be like oh my god, you're so quiet. No, I'm just a good listener. Mm-hmm. Take notes. Take notes because they are very good at being chameleons or playing like, nah, this is a platonic relationship, a platonic friendship or whatever. And then all of a sudden, so you want to go to lunch or dinner? And you just have to be very careful with men. Yeah. Extra sneaky. They're the best at that game. They're so good at it.
SPEAKER_01And I always say, like, you're dating somebody, you probably don't know them until like six months in. Like, realistically, three to six months.
SPEAKER_00No, legit.
SPEAKER_01Like legit, even three to six, I say like a year or two. Yeah. Because they're showing you the representative. Like it's always the best version of them because then they got you. And then when they get you, then then the buttons come off. Then they're really like, I can, you know, let it hang and just be who I am. And then you really see who that person is, and then you realize if you really are into them or not. But then men are always gonna do what you like. You tell them you like flowers every week, you're gonna get the flowers every week. You know what I mean? Then you gotta see in six o'clock. Does the flowers does the flowers continue? You know what I mean? If you like to go on dates every week, of course, the first couple months is dates every week. Then after that, you gotta see if that's the same thing, the same energy.
SPEAKER_00But and quite frankly, if if he's telling you he likes everything that you like, y'all might pay for the same team. There's no way you want to watch the same show with me.
SPEAKER_01There's no way No, I disagree on that. That I disagree on. No, I just agree on that.
SPEAKER_00Certain level.
SPEAKER_01We're not watching certain types of shows together, but I just want to be very healthy for you and your partner to watch shows together. Yes. No, no, no. Shows, yes.
SPEAKER_00But I'm talking about like you, you know, like Real Housewives of Atlanta.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like Love Island. What's another one? I'm just like, any reality show dealing with drama and love, I'm kind of like, Yes, no. Because me and my man don't watch reality shows. By the way, he hates reality TV. So as we should. I think he thinks it's funny. Like if we talk about, like, let's say, you know, like girls, we always like mention like little slick things, or we just, you know, we use phrases from housewives, like that type of stuff he thinks is funny. But like he's not physically sitting down and watching the show. Like, Monsieur Robert.
SPEAKER_00Hey, Amanda, it's Thursday. Let's tune in to Real Housewives of Miami. Are you kidding me? That's what I'm talking about, though. Like, it can't, you can't be that identical. And if he is, then that's the first flag that you're like, okay, you're lying. Or maybe you're not lying, and then that's a different type of flag. Maybe a yellow flag, depends what you're into, but still a flag. Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_01I'm I'm laughing at it now because I'm like, if I was like in reverse, like if I wasn't in a relationship and I
Dating Advice For Spotting Chameleons
SPEAKER_01was back on the dating scene, I would be acting not like myself. Like, you know how the men are chameleon? I'm about to be a chameleon with the total opposite. You know how they be saying like hard wig, soft life? I'd be wearing a hard wig. Like I would literally be doing all the things to where it's like, oh, I don't know if I'm into it. Yes, this is who I am. You're gonna take it or you're gonna leave it. Like, I just wouldn't be giving the, like, I'm giving the bare minimum. And I want to see. You're giving the worst version of yourself. Yeah, I want to see if you're there for me. Like, if you're there for who I am, you want me at my highest level. Like, you can't be giving them everything at the top. Like, you gotta just like, I don't know. I might wear it on my first date. I don't know. And I'm not into the jorts, by the way. I hate the jorts trend. I know the girls are loving the jorts. Wait, what are jorts? Jorts are like the baggy shorts. And sometimes like girls wear with the cute tops and like they'll dress up with heels. You like that? So I don't like jorts because I really feel like we're dressing like the men and the men are dressing like us. That's why I don't like the jorts. I don't like it. Yikes. I don't like it. You notice if you if you notice, ladies, our clothes is getting baggier and theirs getting tighter. We gotta figure this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the men in the crop tops is a no for me.
SPEAKER_01We gotta figure this out.
SPEAKER_00No for men. Wait, men are wearing crop tops. I just think yeah, yeah. I just think like just let some stuff be for us. You know, like this.
SPEAKER_01Let it all be for us.
SPEAKER_00This, this, whatever. Just let it be for us.
SPEAKER_01They want everything. They want everything.
SPEAKER_00Can we have anything? Like I'm saying. No, literally. But yeah, I just think, you know, as we go into the week, there's a lot of things to think about. Think about preparation on things like
Jorts Debate And Trend Fatigue
SPEAKER_00what do you need to do to prepare this week so that you have a seamless week that sets yourself up for success. And think about how you're gonna navigate your social life. You know, whether that's inviting new people into your world or not. But if it is, just think about some of the things we said on this podcast episode today because you want to make sure that you're elevating. And while doing that, sometimes you attract energy that feels that and they want to cling on to it. So you have to be very careful. That's right. Very true.
SPEAKER_01And also identifying what season you're in. If this is not the season that you want to be even exploring those things, stopping in his tracks. You know what I mean? Like, do whatever you have to do to make sure that you're at peace and no one is interfering with that in your life. But yeah, summer season, listen, we are outside. We are in we are exchanging like contacts and meeting people and getting socials and this, that, and the third. And it's just so important for us to like really, like you said, have discernment and just really identify if we want to explore, you know, building relationships, relationships with people or not.
SPEAKER_00And honestly, yeah, you're you're probably and listen, don't agree to no coffee, don't agree to no lunch, don't agree to no, yeah, let's do dinner. Yeah, we gotta get up together. Don't even do it. Don't bother doing it. Save yourself the energy, okay? Because you're gonna need that energy and the money because you're gonna need them both to get through the week and to reach and meet and exceed your goals. So I hope this helps. Hope this helps. I want to start signing off on our episodes. Like, hope this helps.
SPEAKER_01Because we let you know.
SPEAKER_00No, because literally, literally, literally, we're here, we're here. Helps you somehow, somehow.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And if it does, please share this with anybody. If it doesn't necessarily help you, but if you're listening to this podcast in any episode, because honestly, you can go back and listen to our very first episode to the very newest one, which is this one so far. And if it resonates with you, definitely share it with other people. If you're thinking about your friend, girlfriend, yeah, guy friend, anybody in your family that it resonates with them and you want them to hear this message, that is what this is about. You know, when you're at church and the pastor is like, you know, neighbor at church, listen, neighbor, this is the neighbor pod. Like, we want you to definitely pour into your neighbors.
SPEAKER_00Yes, if somebody is dealing with a chameleon and they don't see it, but you know, because you the friend and you see things and you the friend with discernment, but like you don't even need to see it, but you feel it. That's in this episode. We got you. Let us do the talking. In the meantime, make sure you like, comment, subscribe, and tune in next week on Monday because we're coming to you every week this summer. And we'll catch you on the next episode of Elevators Podcast. Bye, guys. Bye y'all.