Gracefully Uncharted Wellness-Holistic Aging, Mindset, Skincare & Waterless Beauty

Navigating Change: How to Build a Bridge to the Life You Actually Want

• Monica Adams

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Hey there and welcome to Gracefully Uncharted Wellness. I'm Monica Adams, a teacher, content creator and lifelong learner, curious about what it really means to live well from midlife into the golden years. This is the podcast where we explore how to navigate life's transitions with confidence, grace and a little bit of humor. If you've ever wondered is it too late to feel my best, or how can I make this chapter of life the best one, yet You're in the right place. Together, we'll dive into fresh perspectives on wellness, mindset shifts and embracing change, so you can ride life's waves instead of fighting them. Because here's the bottom line. I'm figuring it out as I go and I'm inviting you to come along for the ride. Let's navigate this journey together and make these years the most vibrant yet. The most vibrant yet. Hey there, my beautifully uncharted friends. Welcome back to Gracefully Uncharted Wellness, where we embrace change and navigate this wild journey of life together.

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Now let's talk about that nagging feeling in your gut. The one whispering is this it you know the one. It usually shows up around midlife, right when you think you should have it all figured out. But instead of feeling settled, you feel restless, like you've been following a map someone else drew and suddenly you realize you don't even like the destination. Well, friend, let me introduce you to Destiny. Destiny is my imaginary friend and let's take a look into her story. Destiny had it all a great job and a great house, the whole look at me, I'm successful package. But one day, sitting in yet another corporate meeting about synergy because, of course, synergy she had this realization. She wasn't happy, not truly. She had been climbing a ladder that led to where? Where exactly? And if you've ever had that oh crud moment where you realize you might be on the wrong path, you're not alone. Destiny's story is one of self-actualization and self-transcendence A fancy way of saying she stopped just existing and started living. At that point, one night, while stress, eating peanut butter straight from the jar as one does, destiny found an old journal from her 20s. It was full of dreams teaching, mentoring, making a real impact. She had forgotten those dreams in the chase for success and suddenly she knew something had to change. Destiny didn't quit her job the next day because let's be real bills, but she did start making shifts, she volunteered, tested the waters and little by little she built a bridge to the life she actually wanted.

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Maybe that's you. Maybe you feel the itch to pivot, to rewrite your story. Maybe you've spent decades playing it safe and now you're wondering what if I choose something different? Well, here's the truth you are allowed to change, you are allowed to outgrow things and you are definitely allowed to chase what sets your soul on fire, even if it makes no sense to the outside world. So what can we learn from Destiny's Journey Number one? We can listen to the whispers, that inner nudge. It's there for a reason. Start small. You don't have to blow up your life overnight. Just take baby steps. Redefine success. If your definition of success doesn't include joy, it's time for a new definition. And, most importantly, know this the best chapters of your life aren't behind you. They are waiting for you to be brave enough to write them. Step into the boat for today's journey called building a bridge to the life that you actually want.

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Sometimes, when something extraordinary happens in our lives, we do things that we never thought we would do as a response to that event. For example, destiny essentially woke up one day knowing that something had to change. Today, we are going to identify and unpack what really happened to Destiny to get her to this place. What we want to know is one, what makes people do things out of the ordinary and why? Two, what is that thing that makes some people take a leap of faith and just go for it? Three, if you were to make a big life decision to improve your happiness, what would that be? Let's get into it, okay, anchors down. Why is it that some people do the thing you know, the thing that you never thought they would do based upon your observations or impressions of them, the thing that causes you to wonder why they made that bold decision or leap of faith? The scary thing, because it is not traditional or a safe bet. The thing required that person to unequivocally step into their new persona without reservation? What is that called? How can that happen? By the way, if I had to rate the depths we are going to today on this topic, I would say deep. Let's unpack this. Some reasons that might cause a person to do the thing in our adolescent years may be peer pressure, strong emotions like anger or excitement, a desire to rebel against rules or authority, the influence of a group, dynamic impulsivity, curiosity about the unknown. Going deeper here and, on a more serious note, in an adult it might look like this Situations where someone feels pressured or threatened, like working in a stressful or toxic environment where they are experiencing a negative impact on their physical and mental health Every day, that their experience does not align with their beliefs and standards.

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It creates a strong dissonance within their body and soul. When pushed to extremes, people can start to disassociate from their experience. As a coping and survival mechanism, disassociation is a psychological response to stress or trauma where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or even sense of identity. Here's how it develops. Chronic stress and emotional overload, constant criticism, gaslighting or unpredictable leadership can overwhelm employees. When the brain perceives an ongoing threat, it may shut down emotional responses to protect itself. If employees feel they have no control over their situation due to financial dependence, workplace politics or fear of retaliation workplace politics or fear of retaliation disassociation can become a way to endure the job without feeling its full emotional weight. Bullying or workplace trauma, experiencing workplace harassment, unfair treatment or even witnessing others suffer can cause disassociation, making employees feel like they're watching their life from the outside. In environments where employees' worth is constantly questioned, they may emotionally disconnect from their work or themselves to avoid the pain of feeling undervalued.

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Midlife or later adulthood, around 40 to 60 years old. At this stage, people may start re-evaluating their life choices, often leading to bold decisions to change careers, help others or pursue new personal goals. And why do these shifts happen? These shifts are driven by the need for meaning, purpose and growth, especially when individuals start reflecting on the passage of time and the legacy they want to leave. People at this stage often desire to experience life more fully, pursue unfulfilled dreams or contribute in a way they hadn't before. These changes can be empowering, as people decide that it's never too late to make bold choices and embark on new meaningful paths.

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What is the thing that tugs at your heart that you want to do? As your friend, it's not too late. It only is if you think it is, and I'm telling you that it's not. So snap out of it. Warning there are deep waters ahead, but as your captain, I'm not going to leave you alone in the deep water to figure out how to get back to shore. This is where we hang together and do the work to help each other get to our desired destination. So here we go.

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I want you to identify, name one thing that you could dream of doing or want to do to improve your overall happiness. How would it make you feel to do this thing. What is one step that you could take today to get on this path? Think of this as we travel to the next phase of our journey into the deep, embracing change is so easy to say but, like anything else in life, hard to do. But I am here to help you break it down, so hold my hand if you need to and let's get into it. Well, now that we understand what can cause people to come to this place of deep reckoning with their reality and their life's dream, how can we change? How will we know what to do? Here are some strategies, life hacks to help you navigate embracing change, to get the juice out of life that you've been craving. Friend, when you feel the need to make a change, to find more meaning in life, it's often a signal that you are ready for growth, self-discovery or transformation. There are several strategies or hacks that can help you through this process. Here are some approaches to creating more meaningful and fulfillment in life.

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Engage in deep self-reflection. Here's your hack. Set aside time each week for deep reflection, whether through journaling, meditation or quiet solitude. Ask yourself questions like what truly brings me joy? What do I value most? What do I regret not pursuing. Why this works. This helps you become more self-aware and pinpoint what might be missing or what you want more of in life. Self-reflection uncovers the desires and values that can lead you toward meaning. Create a vision for your future. Here's your hack Write down your vision for the next 5 to 10 years of your life. Break it down into smaller, actionable goals. Why does this work? Having a clear vision provides direction and motivation. It helps you focus on what matters most, and taking small steps toward that vision can provide a sense of accomplishment.

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Cultivate a growth mindset here's the hack. Reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. So, instead of thinking I'm too old for that, think I'm never too old to learn. Adopt a mindset that values learning, resilience and embracing new experiences. This is why it works. A growth mindset enables you to embrace change and face obstacles with optimism. It also promotes self-improvement and encourages lifelong learning, which is essential for finding meaning. Pursue passion projects here's the hack. Identify something you've always been passionate about but maybe haven't prioritized, and start a small project or hobby around it. Whether it's painting around it, whether it's painting, writing, learning an instrument or starting a garden. Why this works Engaging in activities that ignite your passion brings joy, satisfaction and a sense of purpose. It taps into your intrinsic motivation and reminds you what you are truly capable of.

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Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Here's the hack. Start a daily gratitude practice List at least three things you're grateful for each day and take moments to practice mindfulness in your routine, for example, mindful walking or mindful eating. Why it works Gratitude shifts your focus to the positive aspects of life, increasing happiness and contentment. Mindfulness enhances awareness and presence, helping you appreciate the moment and find meaning in everyday activities. Find your why. Here's the hack. Identify your core values and passions. Ask yourself what is the bigger purpose behind my daily actions? Consider reading books like Start With why by Simon Sinek to help you uncover your purpose. Why it works. Understanding your why gives you a sense of direction and helps align your actions with your deeper values. Knowing your purpose is a powerful motivator for making changes that lead to more meaningful living. We talked about this in episode three.

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Take bold action. Step outside your comfort zone. Here's the hack. Take one bold step towards something you've always wanted to do but have been afraid to try. It could be speaking in front of an audience, changing careers, traveling solo or engaging in something that pushes your boundaries. Here's why it works. Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone leads to growth and builds confidence. It breaks down mental barriers and opens doors to new opportunities and experiences, often bringing unexpected meaning into your life. Serve others here's the hack. Volunteer your time or skills to a cause you care about or look for ways to help those around you, whether it's supporting a friend or getting involved in a local charity. Here's why it works. Helping others is one of the most fulfilling ways to find meaning in life. It creates a sense of connection, gratitude and purpose by making a positive impact on others' lives.

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Simplify and declutter your life here's the hack. Eliminate physical, mental or emotional clutter. Declutter your life here's the hack. Eliminate physical, mental or emotional clutter. Declutter your space. Let go of outdated beliefs and prioritize what matters most. A minimalist lifestyle can free up time and energy for the things that truly add value. Why it works Simplification reduces distractions and mental noise, creating space for clarity and intentional living. It helps you focus on what aligns with your deeper values, making room for what brings meaning.

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Build meaningful relationships here's the hack. Reconnect with people who uplift and inspire you. Make an effort to nurture deep, authentic relationships with those who share your values or challenge you in positive ways. Here's why it works. Strong, supportive relationships provide a sense of belonging and emotional fulfillment, both of which are crucial to finding meaning in life. Friends this is a really important one. If you have not reconnected with someone who brings you joy in your life whether it's from constant moving, as is my case, or just because time has taken a toll and your lives have gone in different directions, give that person a call, be the one who makes the first step and just to say hello, whether it's a college friend, a high school friend or a former neighbor. This one will really improve your spirit and theirs as well.

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Practice self-compassion here's the hack. Treat yourself with kindness, especially when you make mistakes or face setbacks. Practice forgiving yourself as an adult, and recognize that growth is a journey, it's not a destination. Talk kindly to yourself, and here's why it works. Self-compassion fosters resilience and reduces self-criticism, allowing you to approach challenges with greater ease and acceptance, which can lead to more meaning over time. I love this one.

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Align your work with your values here's the hack. If your current work doesn't align with your values or passions, look for ways to shift it. You might take on projects that resonate with you, seek out roles that allow for more creative expression, or even explore new career options. Oh yes, and here's why it works. When work aligns with your personal values, it creates a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Doing work that is meaningful boosts overall life satisfaction. Here's another one. Set intentions instead of resolutions. Set intentions instead of resolutions here's the hack. Rather than making rigid new year's resolutions, focus on setting intentions that guide your actions. For example, instead of resolving to lose weight, set the intention to be kinder to my body and choose daily actions that align with that intention. Here's why it works. Intentions are more flexible and forgiving than resolutions. They allow for personal growth and adaptation over time, making the process of change feel more meaningful and sustainable. Amen.

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Next one Take time for regular solitude and reflection. Here's the hack. Schedule regular alone time when you can step away from daily distractions. Use this time for introspection, nature walks or engaging in creative activities that help you reconnect with yourself. Here's why it works. Solitude fosters creativity, self-awareness and inner peace. It gives you the space to reflect on your life, your purpose and the direction you want to take. And, friend, as much fun as it is to look at social media on your phone, if you don't turn that off, sometimes you are missing out on this solitude, because if you don't have solitude, you can't reflect. If you don't reflect, you can't make changes to move ahead, so if you've never tried it, I would highly recommend some solitude.

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Last one Explore spirituality or philosophy. Here's the hack. Investigate different spiritual or philosophical practices that resonate with you, whether it's exploring meditation, studying various religions or diving into philosophy. Here's why it works. Connecting with a larger philosophical or spiritual perspective can deepen your sense of meaning and purpose in life, helping you navigate challenges with greater clarity. By incorporating some of these strategies or hacks, you can take active steps toward living a more fulfilling life and a more meaningful life. The key, though, is to start small and build momentum, knowing that change doesn't happen overnight, but with consistent action, the path to meaning becomes clearer. Well, welcome to the Lighthouse. I hope, by going through the deep water, you now have a new perspective about your ability to make positive changes, as well as a new mindset, as you know the hacks and why they work. Captain's Log. This is your captain, friend speaking.

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One of my core beliefs, one that I was born with and can remember from infancy, is that I never wanted people to suffer. It made me so sad. What made me even more upset as I grew older was to see people suffer both suffer unnecessarily. By age seven I knew I would be a teacher. I could identify the situations that caused unnecessary stress. This has been a gift for me in teaching and in my teaching career, because it helps me differentiate learning for my students. If you are not a teacher, that means coming up with multiple strategies to teach a concept to all the ways that children learn. Now, of course, the students that benefit most are the ones that are cooperating and following through on the work so they can level up. That is what we are doing here.

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Friends, gracefully Uncharted Wellness is at its core. Me wanting to share with you life hacks to make this crazy midlife adulting journey easier. And the irony is that there is nothing graceful about transitions. I use that word purposefully because in order to be graceful, you have to work at it. If you think of a ballerina working for years on her posture and positions and toe work, she has gone through a lot of correction and pain. To get to be that emblem of grace, a ballerina has to have grit, resilience, dedication and a lot of support and coaching. That is what we're doing here. You are in my boat and I am your captain, going on a short journey. Today, we have been rediscovering your innate abilities to cut through the overwhelm of life, to see things as they are so that you can live your one life in the most joyous and purposeful way possible. Live your one life in the most joyous and purposeful way possible.

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Before we talk for today, let's reflect on what we've learned. Even when it feels out of character, people may break out of their comfort zones in order to fulfill a higher purpose, whether that's for personal growth, making a significant change or contributing to the well-being of others. Two we talked about cognitive dissonance and disassociation Basically two red flags to signal that you need to protect your mental health and get an exit strategy. Working in a toxic workplace or an environment that does not align with your standards and values can be detrimental to your well-being. Three you don't have to overthink change. You don't have to blow up your life like changing spouses, dyeing your hair flaming red and trading your minivan in for a Harley. No, just take it one step at a time, making small but achievable shifts to start living the life you are passionate about.

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I know some of you are thinking what the heck does this lady know? Well, I write from experience and I write as a teacher would write to share a lesson, but in this case it's for adults. I have included literal depths of knowledge with examples and takeaways for each depth explored, so that you, the listener, can take what you need. I want to share that. Part of what I write about relates to the journey that I am on and I want to figure out, but I choose to figure it out with you, so it's somewhat vulnerable, but I think doing this together on Gracefully Uncharted Wellness is like my purpose, my new purpose. I want to do this together.

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Not long ago I took a gap year, not at 20, but at 62. It was not from teaching, but just like destiny. I did not blow up my life, I just made a shift to teaching in a private school that had a different philosophy of teaching and it was most refreshing. I was only there for a year and would have stayed, but there were other life forces pulling me in a different direction. I stepped into a sales business role. I felt like a fish out of water water, but quickly learned to adapt. I used my teaching skills to write a training manual for new employees, because there was not one previously. How can you set employees up for success if they don't know their role or the procedures of who to ask for assistance? This change in work roles gave me the opportunity to reflect on my years of teaching and how they translated to the world of business. I discovered that teaching is much like selling. If you can educate a client on the benefits of a specific product and show them how other products work together to bring them the desired result, it's just like designing a great lesson plan.

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Seven years since I started to have the feelings that Destiny did, I am doing the thing that I spoke out loud one day. I wanted to be an advocate for wellness, serving others through education globally. I did not know how, I just kept walking towards it. I've been content creating since I became a teacher, so I decided a few weeks ago to do a podcast. I love theater and sound, so it just seemed like a natural thing to do. Mind you that in the few weeks that I have been doing this work, it is hard. It takes a long time to craft something that you want to put into the world and feel confident about, but I must say that I love this kind of work Entrepreneurship. I wanted to share education, ideas and products that can improve people's mindset, health and confidence. This is new to me. This is the thing that I'm figuring out, and I want my success to be the proof that I figured it out. I'm allowed to chart a new course. I am allowed to redefine what is possible for me, and that is teaching in the classroom and having a global outreach that is both educational and financially rewarding. Both are possible. So, my friend, there you have it.

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If you're're feeling unsettled, if you're craving something more, consider this episode your sign. Give yourself permission to explore, to grow, to change, and if you need someone cheering you on, you know where to find me. Remember, even stormy seas lead to new horizons. The key is to stay steady at the helm and trust the process. Thank you for joining me. If today's episode resonated with you, make sure to follow and share with a fellow explorer who might need this message today. Please also leave a 5-star review, as this will help other curious people like us find each other. Until next time, stay the course, ride the swells and don't forget. Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor. See you on the next adventure. Thank you.