Ep.77 Morgan Boszilkov
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Welcome back to part two of my Powerful Conversation with the beautiful Morgan B. Whether you're jumping in here or have just listened to part one, it doesn't matter because both episodes are filled with so much soulful gold. In this episode, we go deeper into the themes of spiritual and creative integrity, learning how to rebuild trust.
With yourself through everyday choices and the role of intuitive creative practices in cultivating emotional resilience, healing, and transformation. Morgan shares the sacred connection between creativity, plant medicine, and inner safety. Plus how to navigate judgment and triggers with compassion all through the lens of her own personal awakening journey.
If you're ready to take your creative and spiritual life to the next level, this conversation will meet you right where you are.
Sam Horton: okay. So, you've mentioned the word integrity. Integrity is also one of the words that I use as well. it's actually where I tend to start with people. [00:01:00] so. For me, uh, integrity. I like to split it between spiritual integrity and creative integrity. And then the spiritual part is about, uh, connecting to your deep truth and honoring that truth by finding meaningful ways to express it, which is where the creative integrity comes into it, because creative integrity is all about expression.
Right? So, in terms of, that word integrity, you know, what does it mean to you and how does it contribute in your mind to our spiritual and creative journeys? Gosh, I love this so much.
Morgan B: Thank you. And I love that you start with integrity. Mm-hmm. Because quite honestly, like that's, it's like, it's the everything.
Mm-hmm. Right? And it's the small things.
Sam Horton: Mm-hmm.
Morgan B: Because we can practice integrity in every moment. Mm-hmm. it is, there's just [00:02:00] like, it's such a big concept that I don't even know where to start, but like, I have so many things running through my head, but yeah. So what's, what's, what wants to come through right now is integrity with our own self first. Mm-hmm. Right. Because we can't live in integrity with the external world.
Mm-hmm. Unless we're honest with ourselves. And a lot of that is tapping into our intuition and our bodies and the ways that we've abandoned ourselves along the way with our conditioning, because we'd never. When, when we're acting out of integrity, it is not on purpose. Yeah. Right. We are all like innocently on autopilot with whatever conditioning we are still being, driven by.
Mm-hmm. So for myself, I would say that for 40 years I was on survival mode, [00:03:00] autopilot out of integrity with myself and the world, and I had no idea. Mm. And then I just knew that I was suffering. Right. I knew that things were really, really hard and really bad and I wanted out and I didn't know a way out.
And then, and then I had my first psychedelic journey with mushrooms because I was trying to move through PTSD from my cancer, and all of a sudden I just woke up and. Things started changing and it was like I had gotten to a crescendo of suffering in my life, being out of authenticity. Mm-hmm.
Gaslighting myself. Mm-hmm. I would have feelings, feelings would come up in my body that said, you don't like this. This is not okay. And yet the conditioning was like, but, but if you, you know, do this, this might happen. If you do this, it might happen. And like all of these fears
Sam Horton: Yeah.
Morgan B: [00:04:00] That I had been taught.
And so instead of being honest with myself and then being able to translate that to the external world with choices and communication and empowerment, I just sat in like the ugliness of, of the, dishonesty with myself. Yeah. Okay. So. I think getting back into my body, has been a big part of my transformational experience.
So I always had a lump in my throat. Right, okay. Expression. Big surprise. Yeah. Artist.
Sam Horton: Yeah.
Morgan B: so those 14 years that I really lost myself after having kids and doing all the things like I, my throat, I always had this kind of like lump thing happening here and I wasn't expressing myself. and then I finally did and I didn't take action.
Sam Horton: Mm. So
Morgan B: then I started this getting this burning in my solar plexes. 'cause I had said the thing, [00:05:00] but I wasn't actually doing anything about the, the honesty Yeah. That I was sharing with family and friends and, but I wasn't making choices to reflect mm-hmm. That, and my body was like. What are you waiting for?
Yeah. This is still painful. Just do the thing, you know? Mm. So, now I have a practice of using my intuition in my daily life as often as I can possibly remember. So it started too with an intentional practice, and it made it a habit of asking myself when I got to the end of my driveway, because like my grocery store was equidistant if I took a left or a right.
So, uh, or my kids' schools, it didn't matter if I took a left or right. So I chose a really benign experience that I could just ask myself and [00:06:00] ask the universe I would like, get to the top of my drive and I'd go left or right, and I'd go left and I go, okay. And so I would just take this left. Right? So it could be like putting on socks, you could go left or right.
Right. It is. Okay. And because I, I am in a safe space. Mm-hmm. Right. It's not, I'm making, I'm not making a big decision that's gonna affect my whole life. It's just these small practices. Mm-hmm. It could be as an artist saying green or blue, green, it is, you know? Yeah. Just like tapping in. Whether you, you know, we have intuition in different ways.
It's, you know, all the Claire Cognizant audience, clear thinking, all those things. So whatever, you know, people feel might be, one of the ways they feel their intuition practicing it in a safe way on a daily basis, and then extrapolating that into other parts of our life because we've tapped into our body and what it's telling us.
Yeah.
Sam Horton: So. So then my question to you is, do you think that [00:07:00] our creative practices, you know, and different versions of that creative practice, I'm not talking about some kind of linear creative practice, but do you think that our creative practice is the perfect playground, foundation for us to, build this kind of inner trust and almost like an inner safety?
I, I'm, I'm, I'm shifting some of my language, building safety, building strength, building confidence to then express the truth, right? So do you believe that creativity or our creative practices are kind of where that, that magic can really happen and then it ripples out into the rest of your life, right?
Into any area of your life?
Morgan B: Yes. Absolutely. And I think you're right. It doesn't matter what the creative process is. It could be writing in a journal. It could be singing in the shower. Right? Yeah. Making of lyrics as you go. Yeah. There is, there's a trust. But I What came to me while you were saying that was learning to do it for ourselves.[00:08:00]
Sam Horton: Yes.
Morgan B: And, and less about performing for the outside world. Yes. Or who's gonna see it, what are they gonna say? Yes. Is this good enough? Yes. Comparing it to other people. Right. But like, do it for Yes. Learning more about oneself and bringing more awareness to Yeah. How we show up in the world. Yeah.
Sam Horton: And, and you know, personally for myself as I really work on embodying, what I teach others, so really kind of practicing what I preach, and embodying it, what I've chosen to do for myself, because I believe that art making is a really powerful tool.
So I do use it in, in my coaching work. but with the art making, I've now separated it. So I've got kind of like a, a self nurturing, self-healing. Sort of creative practice, which is more, uh, process driven and not attached to the outcome. I mean, once you've been doing it for a while, things tend, things tend to turn out okay anyway, right?
But it's not [00:09:00] sort of outcome, focused. And then my professional art practice, which is more based on kind of some grander plan for a series of paintings and has to have some kind of cohesiveness to it. so separating those two things I think has really helped me in terms of just, getting the most out of both worlds.
You know, like the, the goal setting piece, but then also this, this real, lean into the creative process just for the sake of it, because we forget that right? When we've been doing art for a while, we forget about that sometimes. Would you agree with that?
Morgan B: Yeah. That feels very balanced. Yeah.
Sam Horton: Yeah.
Morgan B: Yeah.
That feels like it's balancing the masculine and the feminine, right? Yeah. That feels like it's balancing the, the external, internal, the drive and the, yeah, and the receiving.
Sam Horton: There's crossover. definitely crossover between the two, but I think it was really important because, you know. Like it's, I just recently recorded a podcast episode on it, but it's kind of like this real sweet spot between art mastery and art therapy.
[00:10:00] You know, like it's an elevated position where you're drawing on both worlds, and you're cultivating your own rule book, you know, your own kind of mini practices, within, within the bigger picture. So anyway,
Morgan B: I love that. Yeah. And, and it reminds me of the way we do everything else in life too, right?
Mm-hmm. Like, we're constantly learning and evolving. And some of it is that more like when you said like technical and mastery and, and stuff, like there's a sense of taking in things, developing skills development. Yeah. Goal setting, right. Growth. And then there's the play, and you know, they feed off of each other.
Yes,
Sam Horton: exactly. In a beautiful way. That's exactly it. Yeah. Awesome. So. I'm gonna ask you something that's a bit more coaching focus, I guess. So what are your favorite creative and spiritual tools that you would use to help people build resilience and [00:11:00] experience their own transformation? Wow.
Morgan B: Okay. I feel like judgment has been such a big part of my own transformation.
Mm-hmm. And it to what keeps us separated from other people as well as our own, self-forgiveness and unconditional love. So. Byron Katie has great tools and worksheets that are free online. Okay. And, yeah. Well, you know, I have kind of created my own shorthand from it for of like, when have I done that?
When, if I'm judging someone else. But you know, there's just a sense of noticing our judgements. Mm-hmm. in the creative process in our life, in the grocery store with our family, anytime that we're judging, it's some trigger of, of the conditioning that's [00:12:00] created our ego. And, and the more that we can notice it and question it, and bring the loving parenting maybe that, that we didn't receive as children ourselves of just like.
Who, you know, you're enough, like bringing those, questioning our self-limiting beliefs.
Sam Horton: Yeah.
Morgan B: Of not being enough, not being worthy. and then how we project that out into the world of other people not being enough and not being worthy. And in our creative process mm-hmm. How often are we judging?
Sam Horton: Mm-hmm.
Morgan B: The, the art is not enough. And, yeah. So looking at our judgments not only connects us to ourselves and our higher self, more deeply, but also to everyone and everything around us, to the point where we realize that everything is teaching us. Hmm. [00:13:00] but it, I think it's hard when we're. When I was deeply in my survival mode, it was hard to just jump to like, everything is happening for me.
Mm-hmm. You know, but it was a lot easier to notice my judgments because they were happening
Sam Horton: Yeah.
Morgan B: So deeply and so often. so I think that's a great place to start.
Sam Horton: Mm-hmm.
Morgan B: And, and, you know, if someone is, is really been, has been really practicing spiritual work for a while and is, is moving through, you know, feelings of connection and oneness and all of those things, you know, I think, I think the slowing down becomes more accessible,
Sam Horton:
Morgan B: when we're meditating and we're really present in our creative processes.
Because when we slow down, we start to really [00:14:00] savor, and experience life in the moment more.
Mm. but I think the ego so quickly like wraps us back up, right? Like life itself is a meditation where we get in the flow, we're connected to our art, to our play, to our in the moment. And then it's like we get wrapped up in our thoughts and the, the turmoil and the suffering and the pain and the blah, blah, blah, blah.
and then we come back to the breath, right? Mm-hmm. So more we're practicing making life itself the meditation.
Sam Horton: Hmm.
Morgan B: The more connected we'll be to the present moment and the more we'll be able to appreciate it because we'll be noticing on a more moment to moment basis when we've lost touch with our authentic self instead of being out of touch with it for 14 years.
Yeah. You know, it was just like, oh, I'm in it again. Ah, [00:15:00] I'm glad I noticed. I'm gonna bring myself back. Yeah, there it is again. You know, so the more often we can do that, the more often we can be, uh. Aligned and in tune with the beauty of life.
Sam Horton: Yeah. So cool. I call that soul led creative living. That's my, phrase for that.
So, you know, it's, it is one just big creative journey really, isn't it? Uh, yes. '
Morgan B: cause we are creation itself.
Sam Horton: Yeah. What was coming up for me actually when you were talking about slowing down was, how, when you really learn how to lean in, 'cause it's very difficult when you're on this external driven sort of path and you're, you've lost connection with your, you know, your inner world.
it's very difficult, but I feel like when we start to really lean into that inner world and that slowing down, part of us, I think it's really anxiety reducing, you know, it just makes everything feel a bit better. Would you agree with that? I [00:16:00] do. Yeah.
Morgan B: Yeah. That's beautiful. I love the way you said that.
Mm-hmm.
Sam Horton: Yeah. So on your website you use the phrase, all is love. So what does this phrase mean to you?
Morgan B: Oh my goodness. okay. So I became a plant medicine facilitator, a certified facilitator, and over and over again in my journeys with psilocybin, ayahuasca and other, plant medicines, I am constantly and consistently shown that everything, everything, everything, even the hard parts, it's love all is love.
Right? Okay. So that is something that I had no access to five years ago. but when with the blessing of these medicines, I was. Shown life or Yeah, life maybe spirit, uh, [00:17:00] existence beyond the ego, even for a split second. It's love, you know, and, and people say this when they've had near death experiences, they talk about like the unconditional love of the white light that they feel and that sense of oneness and wholeness.
That is what I'm talking about. And there have been moments, I had this moment when I went to, to the west. I went out west in the US recently, and I landed in Salt Lake City and just drove straight out of the airport down into, the desert. Mm-hmm. And I had this ecstatic experience and I was just.
Overwhelmed by the beauty of Mother Nature in these giant mountains. And I was swept up in this like, oh, this gratitude. And I was like, wow. Wow, wow, wow. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And it was this divine, this [00:18:00] sounds totally woo woo and crazy. Mm-hmm. But I mean, I would've thought this was crazy years ago, but like there was no plant medicine.
It was just me and the mountains and my gratitude and connection to all things. And I was like, thank you. And the message is everything. Everything is love. Everything is beautiful.
Sam Horton: Mm.
Morgan B: And.
Sam Horton: But it was plant medicine. It was just all around you instead of like right in front of you. Do you know what I mean?
Like it was all around you. It was medicine.
Morgan B: Yeah. Yes, yes. Because life is the ceremony.
Sam Horton: Yeah.
Morgan B: Life is the ceremony. Whether it is someone is doing breath work, meditating in the flow, when they're creating art, going for a long run and feeling the, the freedom of using their body in this beautiful way to the point where they've lost track of [00:19:00] all time.
Any sort of in the flow moment that we can access is tapping into the, the infinite presence of divine love, that we all are. Mm-hmm.
Oh yeah. I mean, you just, it's hard to, you just completely,
Sam Horton: you completely lit up when you started talking about this. yeah. When you started talking about it, you, you immediately went to plant medicine. I know that's part of your, your, you know, your work. But I actually feel like you are really passionate about that.
And what's interesting to me after browsing your, your beautiful paintings on your website is that actually a lot of the beautiful work is plants. so there's a complete alignment there between your passion for plant medicine and your art, which again, is the mirror. It's the mirror of your spiritual journey and your creative journey [00:20:00] matching each other.
So I just think that's so powerful.
Morgan B: Thank you so much. Yeah. I've realized that, you know, the, the. Incredible beauty of life in nature is so wondrous that it is constantly reminding us of, of the amazing creation that's all around us and within us. And we forget that we are nature too, and that we're, we call ourselves human, but we're filled with like microbiome and all of these things that are not us.
You know? Yeah. I put that in quotes. Like we are nature itself, self-healing miracles. My artwork. Yes. We are self-healing mar we are miracles. And, and so yes, my, my artwork is channeling nature and my spiritual work is channeling [00:21:00] our own nature. Mm-hmm. And it's all connected and it's all one. so when I say life is the ceremony.
Uh, you know, I think that plant medicine, and it's not for everyone, but for people who it is, they can experience a, like a crash course in life.
Sam Horton: Mm-hmm.
Morgan B: But life itself is giving us the same opportunities. Yeah. To see ourselves notice who we are and how we're showing up in life and the opportunities to let go of all the things that are creating separateness from our, our inner selves and everyone around us and everything around
Sam Horton: us.
Mm. So powerful. So for all the women out there who are curious about finding their inner strength and power by embracing life's natural beauty, what powerful message or question would you like to leave them with today?
Morgan B: Ooh, I really like that. what are the ways that. [00:22:00] Okay. I have one. All right. So I used this with a client recently, and I wouldn't say that this is like my all time life branding question. Yeah. Because we're always evolving, right? So like there's a sense of like wanting to say the one big thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the rest of my life.
But what I think it is, is like, I think sometimes we wear shoes that, that we put on at certain points in our life, and then they don't, over time, they don't fit us anymore. Yeah. Or maybe they don't fit our style anymore or whatever it is. And I ask people, what shoes are we wearing that are, are causing us pain or don't fit us anymore, or they seemed practical or whatever.
And then it's like, just take the shoes off. Try some new shoes on. Is there anything in your life that you've been really wanting to let go of and try something new? And be creative with it. Yeah. Love that. That's so cool. Love that. Sometimes it's the simple analogies that work the best. Right. That's really cool.
Sam Horton: Yeah. [00:23:00] So how can people get to know you better Morgan, and get a real feel for the work that you're doing? My website? I'm glad you mentioned it before. Thank you. Yeah, my art is on there and also people can tap into, my, uh, spiritual work there. Mm-hmm. It's morgan b studio.com and my Instagram is also Morgan b studio.
Mm-hmm.
Morgan B: so I would love to connect with anyone who, with whom this resonates.
Sam Horton: Awesome. Thank you so much for coming and chatting with me today. I absolutely loved our conversation, Morgan. Thank you.
Morgan B: Me too. Thank you so much.
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