A Winning Heart
Welcome to A Winning Heart conversations about being awesome with a disability and raising awareness at the same time and absolutely Yes sometimes you have to say F…..CK you to your own mindset and especially your disability!
A Winning Heart
Birthday Reflections: Finding My Better Self Through CP and C. Diff
We celebrate nearing 2,500 podcast downloads as we continue sharing our journey with cerebral palsy and connecting with our audience in meaningful ways.
• Birthday reflections on becoming a better version of oneself mentally, physically, and spiritually
• Pursuing a communications degree rather than disabled ministry as a career path
• Updates on medical challenges including C. diff infection and upcoming minor surgeries
• Living with cerebral palsy means accepting good and bad days with resilience
• Finding joy in podcasting with a best friend despite physical limitations
• Plans for a special 40th birthday trip to connect with friends in person
• Importance of maintaining mental health while navigating chronic conditions
• Speaking publicly about disabilities to create awareness and understanding
Thank you for following our journey and supporting this podcast as we continue sharing our experiences with cerebral palsy.
Good, you got it. Welcome to a winning heart. You guys, how in the world did who picked up my podcast? And who picked up Excuse me who picked up Danielle's podcast and my podcast and was playing it, playing it, playing it Jeez, you guys, I feel loved because you guys weren't expecting this episode. But speaking of opening up your heart, jeez, you guys are just phenomenal. I'm looking at the numbers we're about to reach 2,500 downloads. If we're not careful here, because it's like someone opened up the front gates on Little Mr Podcast here. I don't know who did that. On Little Mr Podcast here. I don't know who did that.
Speaker 1:I know that I've been on podcasts and, yes, I'll be back on PodMatch in July looking for interviews not necessarily looking for guests, although I will interview guests if they come across my table and geez, but who the heck can open up the floodgates of listening to my podcast? I know I have a couple listeners down here that will always listen. I know I have a couple listeners and I'm like. So, basically, what today's going to be is tomorrow's my birthday Again. Tomorrow's my birthday Again. Tomorrow's my birthday.
Speaker 1:This episode is coming out on June 21st, 2025. June 22nd is my birthday, so for my birthday. I want to be a better version of myself and I just got off the phone with a family member and I just want and I've been thinking about this all day, not knowing that that family member was going to send me a birthday present, not knowing that I went to a mental health meeting this morning and I expressed at that mental health meeting, my birthday present to myself is to be a better version of myself mentally, physically, spiritually. Be a better version of myself and go get either a degree in disabled ministries or a communications degree, probably a communications degree, most likely a communications degree, because communications is my jam. And Danielle, and it's public knowledge, Danielle and I wrote books, but we, due to CP or icky, icky, icky fighters, well, we require a lot of help, a lot of help due to a little disability called CP. And Danielle's saying yes, she's waving her hands like a mad woman or saying, yes, I can't tell. And so communications, yes, she is saying, yes, people, but communications is my jam.
Speaker 1:Disabled ministry would have to wait because, yeah, disabled ministry, you can go into the. You can go become a priest with any degree. You can go into the deaconate with any degree. You need to have a degree and you need to have a call from God, which I do. But I don't think disabled ministry is right for me at this time because I think my heart is set on communications degree and, yes, my family could help me. And, yes, my family could help me. Yes, my family could help me. Yes, I am still a special needs kid. I will always communications for special needs.
Speaker 1:This is why Danielle and I started this podcast 15 years ago now. Jeez, it's been a long geez. That scares me, excuse me, 15 years ago. And this is why I am getting up on a small stage. I wish it was a bigger stage, but I am getting up on a small stage tomorrow and speaking about cerebral palsy. About cerebral palsy, because one of the things and for those of you who are Episcopal, you Google that you will find a page on that website about the Disabled Concerns Committee, concerns committee and all we're trying to do is make the Episcopal Church disabled friendly. That's all we're trying to do. We don't bite, we don't bite people and we're trying to make it disabled friendly. We're trying, I am trying my hardest to teach, teach about disabilities. All I want is a better version of myself.
Speaker 1:The one more surgery. The surgery I was thinking of is, turns out they can't do anything. They can't do anything. They can't do anything as far as ORs, as far as operating norms, but they can do something. I just have to get a CT scan to see what is going on. And then I've had plenty of those. But I just have to get a CT scan to see what is going on with my nostrils and then I'm having a mini, mini, mini, mini, mini surgery in office. All they're going to do is cut the scar tissue and make my nose a lot better Because mini-mini surgery. I went to the ENT the other day and he goes your substance is straight. I can't make it any straighter. So I'm like, well, that eliminates all trip and I'm happy about that. So it's going to be the end of my surgeries. Now I have to check on another surgery a back, limb and pump. But that's going to be minor compared to back surgery and that's going to be compared to my knee. It's going to be minor and, yes, the knee is slowly but surely healing and slowly but surely getting back to where and yeah, so yeah, but all in all, I'm going to keep doing the podcast.
Speaker 1:I love it. That's my full-time job. I wish I could get paid a little bit more, but that's a full-time job and because of C diff I can't go back into the workforce. You know what I want to know? I don't, I can't, I can't. I love my job too much, so I don't. I don't think a job lets you hang out with your BFF once a week. I, I just don't think there's a job that lets you hang out with your BFF once a week. I just don't think there's a job that lets you hang out with your BFF and she's laughing at me because she knows and I don't think there's a job that impacts more people than I do on a daily basis. I mean, dan, you and I both have a huge following from little old cerebral palsy, and little old cerebral palsy sometimes shocks the heck out of us and it's like okay, cp, do you really want to play nicely? And I, my new 100 percent is when C diff doesn't ever fail. And for those who googled C diff, you saw what's happening with my colon. But other than that, I'm happy as long as I stay out of the hospital and be a good little patient and I don't mind.
Speaker 1:I don't mind, quite frankly, if oxygen goes up my nose to me so often to help me. What oxygen does is and yes, they put oxygen. Now I can tell you the second go-round they put NG tube in me. Which NG tube? They were trying to let the stomach rest, which, for those of you who haven't heard, my trauma was in G-tube. My trauma was in G-tube. I got an ileus back in April of 2024 after my back surgery and I had to be on an NG tube for two days and a lot of people saw me on that NG tube and I did a TikTok and that TikTok practically went viral because I looked awful and I didn't care. And at that point I had oxygen in my nose too because of pneumonia. Jeez, I got it all.
Speaker 1:So I am not afraid of a little oxygen, I am afraid of another. Well, I'm not afraid of another flare-up, but I just don't let me take it back. I am afraid of another flare-up, nor do I want one. But if another flare-up happens with C diff, it happens, it happens, it happens. My body's my body, my body, and Danielle knows this. Her body's her body, it's her body. So if CP just wants to have a dang old party with us, well, accept the dang old party and deal with it. If CP wants to make us tired when we can't move out of bed, which has happened to Danielle and I both we'll just let CP roll. And there are some days I get up out of bed and I say, okay, cp, are you going to be well-behaved, are you going to let the party happen inside? And back in May, the end of april? Well, back in may, primarily, it let the party happen with cnip and I'm like, okay, I'm like you, you let the party happen.
Speaker 1:And I always say to people I go down once a year. Then I thought god damn good cold and I'm but see if was me going down once a year? And I, I am really, really lucky that I didn't go down further, just a mild case of C diff. That sent me searching for answers. I am really, really thankful to my team, those of you who are listening, those of you who are in my personal life, you know who you are for helping me and I'm really really thankful. And you need to focus, as I said yesterday, publicly, and I'll be kicked it off with tell me about your depression, how you got diagnosed. And he didn't necessarily mention cerebral palsy, like they always do. But I thought, okay, it's 7 Sunday morning, here we go and I explained my depression and how I got diagnosed.
Speaker 1:But it's the depression and anxiety only part of me. I'm a loving, caring, sometimes really angry human. Just phew, when Danielle and I get pushed and Danielle's a Pisces, I'm a. I am a Cancer. I act more like a Cancer than I do a Gemini. But when Danielle and I get pushed, we walk away. We just turn on our heels and walk away because people don't well, sometimes little like don't understand Danielle because of her speech impediment. I understand her because I've spent a million hours around her, but Danielle has to work and I'll swing it back to her. Danielle has to work incredibly hard on what she does every day and, believe it or not, I have to work incredibly hard on just sitting up. Now speaking is a little bit easier for me, but I just have to work incredibly hard. And those who know my baseline and have seen my baseline not be my baseline, I'm very, very, very grateful for and I am just I'm grateful for good medical care.
Speaker 1:But this year is going to be the year of me being in a stable spot, me getting my health way organized and me understanding my body and me just being a better version of me, and me keep up with my mental health, me, keep up with my mental health and keep up with Danielle's craziness and saying I love you. Every single day I'm trying to. And then I am for my 40th, which is 38 small 40th I'm going to be escaping to is 38 small. 40 is a zero. I'm going to be escaping to somewhere. I'm going to be escaping to somewhere. Danielle probably knows where that escaping is. We're not telling right now, but Danielle knows where the escaping is.
Speaker 1:And something involving Danielle, because Danielle wants to hug me and yeah, I'm saving all my travel, saving all my travel. I've been saving all my dollars for this escape and I have, yeah, and we might do it in the summer, just make it easier on people and we might do it. We would probably do the escaping in the summer, or we might do it in the winter, or depending on if my body wants to get rex again, which I don't think so. And so I am escaping somewhere for my four days Well, at least one week, maybe two if circumstances allow, and I am thinking about it, or maybe I'll take another trip, but I think the escaping trip is deserved. So I'll be here. I'll be here for my 38th, 39th and then 40.
Speaker 1:I'm escaping Because here gets too bloody hot, here gets too bloody hot and I need there's one person who I need a physical hug from, who's sitting on the other side of the screen. Why, miss Daly, she knows that and I need to and I did it two years ago, and she jumps in my arms. Don't jump into my arms again. And that's why I made the escaping in the summer, because the escaping in the summer has a lot more fun and winter's fun too. But we just have to see if my body can handle winter. And although I may escape in July, I don't know if I just have to see. I just have to see. Maybe the escape will be in July, maybe the escape will be in June, maybe the escape will probably be in August, I don't know. But I'm hoping for escape for two weeks in July to do something called actually seeing someone perform. One Perform Called yeah. So I am escaping Somewhere In July For my 40th and well, it's going to be after my 40th, but it's going to be my 40th birthday present. So Summer one, we'll see summer one In July after my 40th, but it's going to be my 40th birthday present, so Summerlin will see Summerlin in July to watch Summerlin perform, and I'll give you more details on where I'm escaping to. Yeah, I'll give you more details as soon as it works out. I'm aware I have some things in the works that I'm waiting to see if they pan out, but I have to.
Speaker 1:What is online Watching anything online? Yeah right, winnie's. Yeah right, I know, I know, but watching it online doesn't. Watching this thing online doesn't help. I will watch it online, but watching it online doesn't help. I will watch it online, but watching it online doesn't give hugs. And so, yeah, I'm escaping in the summer for two weeks for my 40th birthday. Yeah, maybe I'll escape in June and we have to figure it out Definitely June or July. It can't be August, it has to be June or July. But I'm definitely escaping for my 40th birthday because I need to hug these, I need to see people and I need to have someone jump into my arms, like she did two years ago, and so I'm definitely escaping.
Speaker 1:I've decided that I'm lighting things up so I can escape, and so yeah, but I, danielle, had a clear picture of where I'm escaping to you guys don't. I'm sorry, you guys don't. I'm sorry, but I'll give you the escape plans as soon as I get closer. Danielle didn't know that, that I had been thinking of escaping from my 40s to see people and plays and different, and Danielle didn't know that. She thought, oh, my BFF forgot about me. No, your BFF didn't, but I just have to plan it out, like everyone else. So that's, and I'll give you more of the escaping details when I have them, if things work out in my favor, which I know they will. I'm waiting on something to work out and I have to make a phone call on Monday to make it work out, and I have to make another phone call on Monday, which I really don't want to do. But that's life, life is life. So I will talk to you guys later.
Speaker 1:This episode will be coming out today. This episode will be coming out today and I will give you more of a life update when I have one, which will be next week and, as I said, I'm going. I have a lot going on right now, but, as I said, I am going in for mini surgery supposedly, and so, but it's mini, it's not huge. So minor, minor, minor, minor surgery, because I can't do major surgery on me, nor did I want to. So I will catch you guys next week and then we'll charge a course to sell this green monster to where it needs to be and dock it and pick up the sails and sail it again and keep it going, and I will catch you guys next week.
Speaker 1:Bye, you guys, bye. See you tomorrow. Oh, what a cute Bondi said. Thank you for following us. What the cute Bondi said I am signing off because I might go start celebrating my birthday. I don't know. I know that I'll be gone all day tomorrow. So those of you who are trying to get a hold of me to wish me a happy birthday, yeah, yeah, it's a good to get a hold of me by phone, but we'll see. We will see. So I'm signing off right now and I will catch you guys next week. Bye, you guys, see. So I'm signing off right now and I will catch you guys next week. Bye, you guys, bye.
