Budgeting Advice is Keeping You Small

In this episode I share why I will never make a "how to budget for your summer vacation" episode, what I actually do instead (including how my family buys one-way tickets to Delhi every summer and wings it from there), and why the thing you actually need to work on probably isn't a spreadsheet.

Also: we hit 100 downloads! Ahh! Thank you for being here.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Alright, can I record a podcast episode while driving? I guess we're about to find out. Hello everybody, and welcome to the Richyppy. So excited that you're here. So last Friday I was like, I should listen to other money podcasts to kind of see what other people are talking about when it comes to money and what kind of information is going out into the world. And so I went for a walk and started listening to podcasts, and it was very interesting. I started by listening to a podcast, and don't get me wrong, first of all, I just want to say that like, gosh, the podcasts I listened to were so incredible. I tried to listen to podcasts that were produced by women and designed for women, and gosh, the people creating these podcasts are just amazing. And I listened to a really good one. It was about budgeting for summer travel. And it was great. It was really practical and very detailed and really like it really easy step-by-step to how to budget for summer travel so that you can do what you want without feeling constrained. Perfect. That being said, I realized I, you know, as I was listening, I thought to myself, like, I would never produce a podcast episode like that. And there are a few reasons why. And the first reason would be that that's not how I operate. And so I've always struggled with this. Like, I remember when I first opened up my business and I was listening to this financial advisors podcast, and there was this guy who's like very big in the financial planning education space. He's kind of like a celebrity for financial planners. And he had a podcast going and he was talking about how like he's also very successful. He's got multiple businesses, he's built like community spaces, software businesses, like tools, financial planning tools, all kinds of stuff. And he was like, I would never tell my clients to do the things that I do with my money. Because, you know, I'm running my business, I'm like doing things that are totally against like what I advise I give to other people. And in my head, I was like, that's kind of messed up. Because you're doing these things, you're making these decisions in order to achieve success, which comes along with financial security, financial stability, financial growth. But you wouldn't feel comfortable telling your clients to do those things. So either you think they're wrong, in which case you shouldn't be doing them, or you think you're right. They're right, in which case, why wouldn't you tell your client? So that really did not sit well for me. So after that, I was like, okay, I need to make sure that I am in integrity with my own business, and I am giving my clients advice that I also am or slash would take. And I say would take because sometimes I have clients who have a lot more money than me. And so I'm not in the position to do the things that I'm telling them to do. But, you know, either way, I want to make sure that what I tell people is in line with what I believe and what I do. And when it came to this budgeting podcast about summer travel, I that's not how I operate. I don't, you know, base my travel on the best deals. I don't plan out what I'm gonna spend in advance, I don't punt a trip to next year because it's quote unquote out of my budget for this year. Like, I don't do those things. And so I would never produce a podcast episode like that. So that's like reason number one. But reason number two is because I actually don't think that that is the best way to interact with your money. I think that budgeting advice, guys, this is like a controversial statement right here. Budgeting advice keeps us small, keeps us constrained, and prevents us from actually achieving real financial growth. And I feel like almost like I shouldn't even be saying that. Like, what is that? Am I allowed to say that on a podcast about money? And I like I'm not saying that people should be irresponsible with money and people should just ignore their finances and spend more than they have and go into debt and all no, but what I do think is that we as a society have this need to it's almost like discipline our way into things to like use control and force in order to get where we want to go, as opposed to looking inward and using desire and using alignment to get where we're trying to go. So I'm gonna unpack this a little bit. I'm not a budget person. At one point in my life, I was making very little money and I had to really count every penny. So there was like that in which it was out of necessity, but nowadays I don't sit and track how much money I spend. I really just don't. And it's because I know, like I make it a point to maintain an awareness of how I'm interacting with the world. So I go to the grocery store and I look for the things that I normally buy because I buy the things that I like that nourish me. Sometimes I buy some fun new things. I look at how much it costs at the grocery store. I clocks in my head, like, okay, groceries are about$150 this week. Great. And I let that be okay. And I think for so many of us, we don't trust ourselves to make the decision that's gonna lead to the best outcome. And so we try to use spreadsheets and force and rules and rigidness in order to get to the outcome we're trying to get to. But like this budgeting podcast, I think that those types of things make everything just feel like more work, and we don't get to enjoy the things we're trying to enjoy. So almost every year, my family and I we will buy a one-way ticket to Delhi in the summer. And it's so funny. Like, we just we buy our one-way ticket, usually we get a pretty good deal on it, no one's buying one-way tickets, and then we get to India and we hang out, and then from there we're like, hmm, where can we go from here that would be fun? Let me like, let me look around, let me see what you know, what some good flight deals are, think about places that we want to go, think about places we've already been before. All right, and then we buy a one-way ticket to that place, and we kind of just hop around, and I guarantee that our summer trip ends up costing less than most people who stay home in the summer and send their kids to camp. And it's because I trust myself to make the decision that's one, gonna align with my finances and two, going to be fun for everybody. And this is such like a type B thing. I know that a lot of people would really struggle with this. So if you are not a type B person like me, that that's amazing. Like you definitely do things in the way that feels good for you. But for me, this is the way that feels good for me. And so if you're also the type of person that's like tried to budget and it's never worked for you, it might not be that you're bad at budgeting, it might just be that that's not the right medium for you. And maybe the thing to work on is not spreadsheets, maybe the thing to work on is self-trust. Assessing what brings you joy in this life, assessing how you want to move your money in the world, reminding yourself of when you, you know, when you spend money that you didn't really need to spend, reminding yourself that it's okay to spend money on things that you really, really want. Right? So I think that the conversation around budgeting is so limited and it's for a very specific type of person. And also, I think that more people could benefit from letting go and trusting. And again, I just like want to reiterate I do not mean that we ignore our finances or our budgets or anything like that. What I do mean is that we sorry, I just had to make a turn. What I do mean is that we understand how much our life costs, how much our business costs, what our general parameters are, and we trust ourselves to stay within those parameters. And again, like this takes practice, right? You can't just like, you know, go from I have no idea how much things cost to I'm just gonna trust that it'll work out. But it takes practice, it takes awareness, tuning in, maybe like checking your accounts more often than you normally would for a while. And then at a certain point, you get to let go and say, all right, I know that like if I want to buy something extravagant, it's gonna affect me financially, and maybe that won't feel good in my body. So maybe I'll pause before that, or maybe I'll make a plan. And I know that if I stop and buy a coffee, it's not gonna have an effect on my overall financial plan, and so I'm not gonna feel guilty about it or tell myself that I shouldn't. Right? Like we can we can really learn how to fine-tune our own relationship with money. So that when you're taking a vacation, you're truly on vacation. When you're out for lunch with friends, you're truly out for lunch with friends. When you're treating yourself, you're truly treating yourself, and it's not something that's gonna come back in your face and make you feel guilty. Guys, I made a new friend this week in Boulder. It was really fun. We went for coffee, and she was talking about feeling guilty about putting so much money into her business, and we kind of like talked through that and about how to like view everything as an investment and find the value of all of those different things, and then I added something else to the conversation that I've told many clients before, and it's when we feel guilty about something we've purchased or money that we've spent, it only causes that thing to be more expensive, it only adds to the cost of that thing. Because when we feel guilty, we're spending time and energy on that same thing, more time and energy than what we originally had spent in money. And so if you've ever bought something and felt guilty about it, remind yourself that the guilt actually makes it cost even more. So you can either appreciate it and enjoy it, or you can sell it or return it, or give it away to somebody else who will appreciate it and enjoy it. And the way to avoid feeling guilty, I think I talked about this on a previous episode. The way to avoid feeling guilty is to take enough time for yourself before the purchase. Okay, do I really want this? Do I feel like I've done enough research? Is this the exact thing I need? Let's be more intentional with our spending. Because we live in this world where like it's so easy to just spend, spend, spend, spend without pausing to think about where the thing I'm buying came from. It was made by somebody, it's required resources to get to me. And the more frivolous I am about that, the more damage is done in this world. There's a cost, right? There's always a cost. I was talking to a friend about this yesterday. We don't always see the cost, but the cost exists. When we buy something that was made in a country that has like poor labor laws, then the cost is, you know, an actual person, right? Or we buy something that was made with materials that are harmful to the earth, and the cost is like an impact on the planet. So I think that, you know, when we we living in this consumeristic society that we do, it really is a flex to be able to pause and be like, hey, can I think about this a little more deeply? Can I decide that maybe I don't actually need this, or can I decide that I really actually want this so badly, and I'm so excited about having it. And then spend from that place so that you never have to experience any kind of regret. And of course, like this is not a black and white thing. We all have different levels of regret we experience sometimes. We pay for something, we join something, we you know, spend on something, and we look back and we're like, that didn't work out the way I wanted it to. You got a lesson in that. And like, what's more valuable than a lesson? What's more valuable than gaining wisdom and becoming a more informed, a more educated, a more, I don't know what's the word I'm looking for, a more experienced person. That's like what the whole point of this life is, right? We gain wisdom, we gain experience. So all of these things act as lessons. And the lesson only sticks if we actually, you know, receive it. So there's my spiel about budgeting and budgeting advice, and why when people give budgeting advice about like how to save for your vacation, I hear it and I'm like, that's not that's great. And I love that there are people out there doing that for the people who want that type of advice, and also I that's not the ideology that I subscribe to, so you will likely never hear that from this podcast for better or for worse. Well, thanks so much for being here. You guys, we have a hundred downloads. We made it to a hundred. I got the email last night. Um, so to all of you who have listened, I really I can't tell you how much it means to me for you to be here. I was talking to my friend about money, my new friend about money, and I went to the bathroom, and there was a guy standing there, and he was like, I overheard you talking to that girl, and you were giving her really good advice. And it was like such a simple kind of throwaway comment, and I was like, that, thank you. Like that, it's so it's really, I don't know if it's just like we all want to know that we're doing good, but it really is helpful to hear something like that and be like, okay, I'm saying things, and like even if the people that I telling them to don't hear them, somebody hears them. And so I just want to thank you for hearing what I have to say. And if this helped you at all, even a tiny little bit, let me know. Forward it to a friend, leave a comment, leave a review. I just the like little ego inside of me wants to know like, did it work? Are you are you are you are you feeling differently about money? Did something change? Alright. I will see you next time, guys. Thanks again for being here. Bye.