Artem Returns: Rebuilding After Divorce, DWTS & Life in the Public Eye

Artem Chigvintsev returns to The Glamorous Grind for a powerful and vulnerable conversation about what happens after the spotlight shifts.

From navigating divorce in the public eye to co-parenting, fatherhood, dating, and rebuilding his life from the ground up, Artem shares what the last year has really looked like.

This episode is about resilience, reinvention, and finding purpose again when everything changes.

Because sometimes the grind really begins when life falls apart.

Want more glam during your grind? 

New episodes every other Tuesday. Make sure you are subscribed on YouTube and follow wherever you get your podcasts. 

🎙️ Hosts: Ilona Antonyan & Mila Arutunian
📲 Follow us on IG: @glamorousgrindpodcast

Transcript

Reinvention After Public Collapse

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Just because of one situation, one article, you haven't been called mad. Actually haven't even talked to anybody about this, but we talk a lot about reinvention, but no one talks about how painful it is to start over when your life collapses in the public eye.

SPEAKER_04 0:16

What pops up on Google? The mugshot.

Naming The Wounds: Mugshots And Headlines

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Divorce, career, uncertainty, becoming a co-parent. Today's episode is about resilience, rebuilding, and what full circle really looks like.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

It's a peach black and like which way do I go? I'm rebuilding the house and I'm rebuilding myself.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Because sometimes you get asked to return to the very stage that wants to find you. And for our special guest today, that stage is literal. But it's so introduced of back with us today. These are the audience questions. We got a lot of them.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Surprise me.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

From lovely 0612.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Lovely 0612.

Setting The Theme: Resilience And Full Circle

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Um The Glamorous Grind, where we talk about the real work behind the reinvention, not just the highlight reel.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

You asked to see how he's doing, not just professionally, but personally.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

I feel like we should have champagne, not coffee. I do have some. Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Can I is that a good time we have some?

SPEAKER_04 1:40

Thank you for having me. It's always fun. That's a full glass.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

So your life is full, yes, of all the good things.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

Amen to that.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

I think that New Year of the Horse is starting like now, any day now, because the Chinese New Year starts in February.

SPEAKER_04 1:55

This is my year, apparently. I'm like, Oh, mine too. When does it start? You're the year of the horse too. Well, I'm not, but apparently for my birthday, for like when I'm born, like this is the year where it's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Good, good.

SPEAKER_04 2:07

Like at least that's what I've read. I hope it's true.

Rebuilding A House And A Self

SPEAKER_02 2:10

I manifest that every year is my year. And you guys should be able to do that. Not a bad thing to do.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

Not a bad thing to do.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

So tell us what has been going on in your life?

SPEAKER_04 2:19

What hasn't?

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Yeah is the question.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

Um teaching, traveling on the weekends, teaching. I mean, obviously taking care of my son, uh, building home.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

You're building a home?

SPEAKER_04 2:33

Yourself. Yes, myself. I haven't posted anything about it. I probably will trying to collect some things to post. But yeah, just really uh bought a property that's a big time fixer wrapper and just fixing myself up.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

So how much of your time does this new project take?

SPEAKER_04 2:50

They complete every day, all day long, unless I have Mateo.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Have you learned new skills in construction you hadn't possessed before?

SPEAKER_04 2:58

Oh, yeah, like electrical wiring and roofing and yeah, like you name it, plumbing. Like I could be a good handyman, I think.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

You could be a handyman to a lot of women for many reasons.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

Yeah. Anybody out there?

Returning To The Stage In A New Way

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Dancing, cooking, babysitting, watching, doing fun activities with your son.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

I am a kid. Ladies, where are you?

SPEAKER_02 3:25

I always I always think that every time we face a challenge, like in the in the house, I think is a perfect example. At first it's really scary, and then once you get through it, you're like, wow, I could do this again.

SPEAKER_04 3:36

That that's my dad's is like eyes being afraid, but it's like it's a thing. I'm not sure how to translate in English says, but it's I'm always scared of the of the job, but your hands actually doing it. So your hands doing it. Yeah, uh my dad's been an absolute champ. He's actually here now too in the US with me and my and my and his wife, my mom. And they're all living with me. And yeah, it's it's been cool to spend time with my parents. Because it's like I haven't lived with them. When I moved out, I was God, probably like 15. Wow. I lived without them longer than I lived with them.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04 4:14

And there's a challenge to live back with your parents. Oh, I can imagine. It's a thing to get used to, let me tell you. Um, I think I kind of like Americanized myself through the years of being in the United States and just kind of getting back into their kind of where I come from. Interesting, challenging, rewarding.

Audience Q&A Setup

SPEAKER_02 4:34

And it must be so amazing to have Mateo around his grandparents all the time.

SPEAKER_04 4:38

You know what actually was really challenging at first because he thought that like they're replacing his mom, but now he's like very like, okay, cool, I get it to my grandma and grandpa, and you know, like, yeah, he loves it.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Is he picking up Russian?

SPEAKER_04 4:56

Not really. I mean, yes, my mom like constantly when he was like, Dobre Ultra, like good morning, and and now he's slowly like getting into it, like, okay, I'm gonna say that Dobra Ultra, okay, fine.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Do you say the basics like spice but bajala stuff?

SPEAKER_02 5:09

No, you know, he he probably knows it, he probably is just not saying it yet, but you'd be surprised if he's gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_04 5:16

He loves imitating, yeah. It makes no sense. Did he just do the gibberish whatever rations sound like five? Okay. The one thing I realized, every single kid has their own paste, how they do it and what they do, and there's nothing you can do to change that.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

So every kid is so different. I I learned the hard way because with my first, I always try to do everything by the book, like, oh, by one he's supposed to do this, by two, he's supposed, and you know, by the third, you're just like, don't learn. Like eventually they get to all the things, you know.

Life Update: Teaching, Travel, Single Dad

SPEAKER_04 5:49

Yeah, well, you have at least an experience, and you can apply experience on the on on the practice. I only have one, so I'm like, this is it, and this is it. So I don't know, but yeah. You're doing great, it sounds like it sounds like you're so I mean, look, like there's always gonna be a void of the female presence in my house because of that. Obviously, we yeah, I think we're doing good. Building Legos. Wow, I mean, it's like uh talent and patience. He's he's he's at it, he loves it, loves Legos, loves train, loves airplanes, and he like got this recently um into um what do you call them? Blimps.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Blimps?

SPEAKER_04 6:30

Blimp.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

The one those blown-up long things, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 6:36

Yes. And uh, you know the one the good year flying around? So that's what it is pretty much. It's like a hot air balloon, yeah, but like with the engine and there's a propeller, and that's actually have the pilot in it and stuff. Um, and he was really into that at one point. So I for Christmas I had to build because you can't buy them. There's a lot of toys, they just sound that popular. I went on uh Amazon and I got what looked like it's a Zap Lang, but I didn't know it comes in like 700 parts apart, and I have to build it. Wow, that was a challenge.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Yeah, how many hours did that take you?

SPEAKER_04 7:09

It's six hours till Christmas. Hurry up. Um, it took me a second, but I mean, still it's like you do everything for your kids, so it's and he loved it. That was the best thing. Anyway, why am I talking off topic? Anyway, yeah, he's he's great.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 7:22

Challenges.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Does he like dancing?

SPEAKER_04 7:24

Loves dancing.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Oh, really? So it is genetic a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 7:28

He loves performing, he's obsessed with the performance. He's just give him and he's not shy. Like not even an ounce of his shyness.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

So he likes when people clap and there's a big audience.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Oh, loves it.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Ella, too. My my daughter has done a performance for her whole family for my dad's birthday recently, and after that, she tells her two-year-old, okay, we have to keep doing this because everybody will clap for us. And she was so looking forward to meeting you today. I showed her videos of you dancing, and then she was so excited, like, oh, I'm gonna people are gonna see me and clap for me. And she was like super excited for the audience.

SPEAKER_04 8:02

That's awesome. Yeah, he loves dancing too, Kalinka Malinka.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Really? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 8:08

My mom is like notorious turning all the things on, and he's just happy. Like, I should probably video him one time. You should.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

It's I would love to see that wild.

DIY Construction And New Skills

SPEAKER_04 8:19

I mean, he legit copies everything they do and he does crazy moves.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

That's a fun song though. Kalinkamalinka. Something like that.

SPEAKER_04 8:28

Anybody check it out when you do Russian folk dancing, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

But it's not hard. You're just like hop, leg up, hop, another leg up, I think it's not hard.

SPEAKER_04 8:38

It's hard for me.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

I can't do it.

SPEAKER_04 8:40

It's really hard.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Is he good? He does a good job. Well, who taught him? You did a little bit?

SPEAKER_04 8:46

No, he just watched and just copies that. Because there's a kids. You turn on the video and there's a kids dancing, like full on in like Russian folk costumes.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

I'm gonna start turning it out at my house and see if my kids will learn. So, since about a year ago, when you started Is it a year ago?

SPEAKER_04 9:03

It's been a year.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

About a year.

SPEAKER_04 9:05

Oof, it's been like 10 years ago, but yeah, go for it.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

What is your day-to-day now like?

SPEAKER_04 9:11

Let me have a zip. My day-to-day like. Um when I have Mato, wake up, cook, meal, breakfast, lunch, pack, drive to school, and I go to work.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Well, you also teach, right? And travel.

Living With Parents Again

SPEAKER_04 9:24

I do teach in conventions. So yeah, so during the weekends I usually go and travel around the country. So it's kind of it's pretty cool gig, actually. Um different city every weekend. It's about 16 weekends, 15, 16 weekends a year. And you in the big hotel's a big convention, so it's a lot of kids. I mean, get to the point we get like a few hundred kids in the room, and it's different classes, so it's like comes from kids I think they're like five to seven, it's like mini, called the mini groups, then juniors, then intermediate, then there's a teams, there is a seniors, then everything group is like hundreds of people. And these are kids who know how to dance and are they they're usually kids who compete in that they go to actual like dance schools, they're part of the team, and they do it not a professionally, but it's like it's it's not just a little hobby. That's the kids who are like a little bit more involved than just a hobby. They're like they want to become a dancer, they're much, much aware of that. Um, but it's great because you get to meet a lot of talented kids, and ballroom became this sensation over the last two years. Dancing with the stars has been so successful. And I feel like they're picking up back the younger audience versus like who were known for all the people who love watching Dancing with the Stars, but now I feel like it's getting a little bit more on the younger side of it. And um, yeah, kids love it, they really want to do it, they want to learn, and you just teach them a combo and you have the microphone on stage, assistance, and you just teach a whole bunch of kids and watch them do crazy stuff.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

I will say, after the last time you came onto our show, there have been so many people reaching out. I mean, to me, to the podcast uh channel asking when you'll be back on dancing with the stars. So I have to ask, is there any talk of that? Anything that we God.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

Um no, there's no talks.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Well, maybe they should reconsider because clearly you have a very solid fan base who's dying to see you back on.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

No, there haven't been any talks. Um, I haven't really like connected to with anybody. Like, I obviously have my friends who are still part of the show, and I talk to them and see what they're up to, but not in the context of me coming back or doing anything.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

So I saw something pop up on my Instagram in January that said you were back on Dancing with the Star. So I told people at the office you're back, and turns out I was wrong. And then we learned that it'd be you were simply invited to like the 20th anniversary um that show they were having.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

There was a big, big like an episode where they brought like every single person from the past.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

And did they invite you back to that?

SPEAKER_04 12:01

Um I guess yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

But your invitation got lost, right? There's something that went wrong. You guys.

Co-Parenting And Grandparents’ Role

SPEAKER_04 12:10

So um I actually haven't even talked to anybody about this, but a few people reached out to me prior to that episode. They're like, hey, are you gonna be there? When are you coming? Blah blah blah. It's like, hey, I actually haven't got any invites, like I actually don't know. And then it got to the point where it's like it closed to the date where it's gonna be the actual show. And then anyway, a few people reach out, and then I guess there was maybe some communication with maybe exactly producers, and they're like, Oh no, you are invited. So I guess the invitation's been sent. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Is it a paper invitation or electronic? We'll have to call and find out.

SPEAKER_04 12:44

I'm I'm not gonna reveal all the little details, but anyway, by the time it was an official, like, yes, I had Mateo and like I just couldn't find like a nanny like the night before to like, hey, can you stay over there? I mean that's my sound like that. I wouldn't do I wouldn't do that, like just just to go, you know, even though it's was a I mean it's a big deal. Like, look, I have been part of the show for a long time. I didn't want the show, like it kind of it kind of makes sense to be there and then seeing all my partners from the past and like it would have been great. It really would have been great, and uh, but it's just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

So let me ask you if I can. Yeah, do you think and we talked about this in our last episode of like how public opi the court of public opinion and what that does to a person? Yeah, do you think that uh the situation with your ex and the magazine article affected their decision to bring you back on and all of these other things that have followed, such as this invitation getting lost in the mail?

SPEAKER_04 13:49

If you know, if you I mean, I don't want you to speculate, but if you have a feeling, it's tough for you to answer that question because I think some people have seen it for what it is and kind of like offered and was there for me. And I think some people maybe did not want to get involved. Nowadays in society, it's easier to believe in something that's more juicy than something that's like, oh, you know.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

And it was the headline, like the headline is what catches the attention, and the headline was just awful.

Kids, Language, And Individual Pace

SPEAKER_04 14:21

I still think to till nowadays it's I mean, I still get like weird messages on the social media where people like mean things? Uh it's it's not so much mean, it's like they're talking like they know. Like it's it's it's wild to me. Like obviously, I would never reply to anybody who was never part of it or was there. Um, but that's unfortunate the reality of it.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

You know, I mean, if anyone wants to know true facts, they can go to the court file and copy all the pleadings or read the full story. That's where the full story has been disclosed. Um, instead of speculating based on short headlines.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Well, that's the thing. I've seen so much, and I'm not a family law attorney. I don't practice in that area. So for me, it's still pretty like crazy seeing what goes on. But so many times I see people, you know, they have personal feelings against each other after a divorce or a separation, and uh and then they use the kids as a way to kind of get back at the other parent and take advantage of things.

SPEAKER_04 15:22

I can see you don't do that. I think it can easily go that route, but then again, you see, like you have to be truly believed that you're just using that against it, because I think sometimes people think that that's what is right for the kids, and that like you might see it as like, oh, you just use the kid against me. And some people think like, no, this is actually like you're too nice.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

No, people are very calm and well, you're very calm and easy to deal with. I think you're like a dreamful parent for the case.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

I think I'm nigh, I think I'm like trying to be very reasonable.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Very empathetic, that's what it is.

Performing Genes And Family Moments

SPEAKER_04 15:52

But at the same time, like I don't want to be taking the advantage of in the certain things where it's what I don't think it's okay. Yeah, you know, I can work a lot more in LA teaching people how to dance. I can read the same thing in Napa. I can be a coach and teach and maybe go a little bit more into what I've known quite well, you know, being that I can't do that in Napa. In Napa, there is no there is no show like Dancing with the Stars is running, right? There is gonna be constant people who would want to have lessons, who would want to like, let's say a celebrity wants to be on a show and they're like, hey, I want to get a crash course real quick before I go on a season. So can you help me out teaching? Like, I remember when I was teaching Nicole Scherzinger for her season when she did the season of Dancing with the Stars. And I remember teaching her like a few weeks before she was partner up with Derek and they did their season. There is a lot more opportunities for me, as what I do, LA would be a much better place to be. So it's like unfortunate for me, like I have to travel for my work. I cannot really be in Apa unless I grow wine or I'm like in the wine industry or in hospitality or you know, and it's possible. Like, I'm not saying like that's not something that I would do. Yeah, if opportunity presents itself and it's something I'm gonna be curious and interesting at, I would I would go for it. I will jump on it, I will I will see if that's something I'll be willing to pursue, right? But as far as dance, it's dead.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

So it makes sense for you to live in LA because you'll be able to make more money, you don't have to travel, it saves you time.

SPEAKER_04 17:26

Yeah, you ended up in Napa because it was Nikki's dream to have a because my ex she wanted to be in Napa, and it's not even her dream, it's their dream, it's her and her sister. So they they always want to be Napa, and they always dreamed to have a winery and having wine labels, and that was the case, and it made sense, you know, as a as a as a family, as a couple, like, cool, you want to pursue your dreams? Let's go, fine. Like, I didn't care the time to move anywhere because I know that my work was gonna be in LA, I would be traveled to LA to do a season of dance, and I'll come back. So it's a kind of nice to have that balance of like I go there for work for 12 weeks, I work really hard, I do everything that I need to do. I come back and then I have my time off until the next season starts. It worked that way because you have a certain gig you do, it's a short period of time, and you can be sad for the rest of the year, and you do side gigs just to kind of I don't know, like things of the interest you can do. At this point on, I am a Napa where you don't have to be.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

No, you can ask for a while. Oh, don't tempt me.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

Don't tempt me.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

You can ask for a move away to LA because now that you're not together, there's really no reason for you to be there. She's traveling. Well now he has his new house. Yeah, but it's a fixer upper. And it's a good thing. And he could be doing better things. I mean, he already got construction skills, but he has more opportunities in LA.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

I I would have a better like a social life, better, better connection. But I think I'm still at the stage of like I'm not quite sure what the life is gonna be. LA is great and tempting for certain things. Yeah, it's great for maybe like I get more work or I get much better social life. My friends are there, I can, you know, like there is life outside of the bubble that I'm in right now. But how good is it for my kid?

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Well, I don't know. You would have to better answer.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

But but you see, but the but this is the question you have. Yeah, if it's way better for my kid too, then it's something to consider.

A Week In The Life Of A Single Dad

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Yeah, remember that a large part of a kid's happiness depends on his parents' happiness. That's the best thing for your kid is for you to be happy. But it's uh I know it's hard as a parent because our innate nature is to be selfless and want to do everything to make them happy. And oftentimes we don't think about ourselves, but and maybe you are happy, maybe you're happy enough, and that doesn't matter to you.

SPEAKER_04 19:47

But I'm happy if he's happy. Kids grow and they change interest and they move on and this stuff. It's like, yes, I know he needs me now to the full capacity, what I'm giving him. Yes, a hundred percent. Yeah, when he's getting 15, 16, 14, like he move on with his life, but I'm gonna be left with the life I just contribute to him. And that's what the big question is is like, do I try to invest into that as well? That after he bounced on his own journey, like what is my life gonna be?

SPEAKER_02 20:18

You're so young, you can rebuild everything again.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

It seems like it's like everybody said, like, oh, you like you, fine, you'll figure it out and all that. But it's like even dating world is not that simple.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

No, are you not a full-time job?

SPEAKER_04 20:31

I'm not, but like had I had a conversation with you know, with people, I have. And it's the first thing pops up, what pops up on Google. Oh no, and then you have to explain yourself. And I honestly, I don't, I don't want to do that. Yeah, like I don't have a time to to explain myself. I don't, I actually I don't want because I don't feel like I need to explain myself.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

Right, just send them the link to this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

And the fact is that people even like have that, and of course, like I don't judge them by having because literally the first thing you go is my mugshot pops up. Like, how would people feel? Of course. If I would, for example, go on day with someone and I decide to Google them when I see the mugshot in the thing, I'd be like, Wait, let's have that conversation. But being on the other side of it, I'm like, it's it's draining even to get to that point.

Teaching Ballroom To The Next Generation

SPEAKER_02 21:25

And it's it's not fair to you. I mean, one situation that was completely out of context.

SPEAKER_04 21:30

But you see, the thing is like fair, not fair, that's the reality. And it's like if you if you if you base your opinion on like it's not fair, it's not this. You're just gonna constantly like feel sorry for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Yeah, you can't be a backdown. But look, you have millions of fans that love you and support. Yes, and they believe in you, even despite all that, until you proved your case in court, they still love you, they support you, and I bet there'd be women throwing themselves at your feet right now that are.

SPEAKER_04 22:00

smart i don't know what i really have to offer to anyone at this point because i'm not key like my focus is so much much so like on what i have to do to to to work to get into the like the house and i don't know maybe like the house i got and i got in a certain state but i want to rebuild it and make it my own because i want to like create the things with my son and it's gonna be for him and it's it's it's probably more of driven in that sense than me just want to get into the house i think it was more like i'm rebuilding the house i'm rebuilding my it's like correlate rebuilding myself within that thing and it's been it's been a it's been a thing like it was great in in the theory I'm gonna finish that I promise to myself I will make sure that house will will be standing and it'll be perfect great and perfect and be there for a long time but again like thinking about dating and stuff like I I don't know how you have time for any of that.

DWTS Rumors And The Missing Invitation

SPEAKER_02 23:03

But I think honestly Anil correct me if you disagree but I think most women like real women I mean there are women who are gonna chase you for fame or for looks but the women who would actually want to build a life with you are going to be so attracted to you because you're a good dad. I think a lot of normal good women who want relationships, that's what they look at before anything else of like what kind of father, what kind of nurturer is this person going to be I mean I hope so.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

I mean it's all sound great in the paper.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

I mean you see if if if people truly think that way that's I mean it's hard this society is full of people submit resumes to the grind to a performance index and culture index to see if you're a good match. From what I'm hearing you're so fresh out of it you've dealt with a lot of pain loss of uh relationship readjusting to being a single parent you have two parents that came that you haven't lived in a long time the way you look at it right there is like the two worlds of this so like looking at this like there's a guy who would like to take care of his parents who has a kid and this and there's also a guy who living with his parents and have a kid.

SPEAKER_04 24:15

Do you know what I mean? It depends it depends how you look at it that's the desirable part of like who you are like cool you know you you can't just think for yourself anymore. And it's really important because you always have to realize how is it going to affect my son by bringing someone even in a picture of that because I would not want my son to like feel oh like that's someone who is going to tell him off or like like I would be so much protective of that that I don't think I would never choose anyone else but him over. I love that that's so cute you know like and and no I should never make that choice I should never be put in to even choose.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Right.

SPEAKER_04 24:55

But if I would have to there is no fucking doubt that it's gonna be my kid.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

Of course my cousin is dating a woman with three kids and he came to me and he was like you know it's so strange every time I call her they're all screaming in the background and she always picks them over me and he's like sitting there and it's almost like there is tears rolling down his eyes and he's like I want her to he's like what kind of mom would she be if he she she didn't pick them over me like you said before a life becomes in stages right you're in the stage that eventually time will be right.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

You're in more peace now than you were.

SPEAKER_04 25:31

I mean not having shit hanging over you definitely make you more like okay I think I can start like be my own self. But it's a new yourself that is now like I moved like being in LA last night I spent uh spent night in LA with a friend of mine um and it's like I've I actually he lived in a house in the area where like two blocks away where my house used to be when I lived in LA when I owned the house and it's like walking on that street is like a resemblance of that life what it was before even moving out of LA like me, the show, the like the career the you know the the challenges that I faced then it sounds like a fucking dream.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Was it a good dream?

Did Headlines Affect Career Doors

SPEAKER_04 26:15

Oh it was a great dream because like it's carefree success like growth in your career making great income thinking of like what the few like those the skies were fucking limits you know like it was that mindset you're like young you driven you like have goal you want to like it's very like clear because I can really like justify myself right now it's like I am a dancer from dancing with the stars. Even that still is kind of like it no one can take that away from you but you don't have the current title of like this is who I am today. I'm the I'm a pro dancer from the show. Like I used to be on the show. But like that thing started shifting and people coming it's like oh like it's it it's just a very different reality that hits you and it's I don't know it's just different.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

So it's finding yourself again.

SPEAKER_04 27:09

It's a peach black and like which way do I go?

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Right now you're in comfort zone because you are where you are and you're not making any risky moves. You got out of a difficult situation finally like swimming up to get some air to to reconsider your opposite so I think that what we're learning here today is that the sky's still the limit right because it really broke my heart when you were thinking back to your pre-baby days and saying how the sky was the limit and you were so ambitious and so full of hope.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

And I see this a lot with people especially moms but dads too when they have children it's inevitable that a child becomes sort of an anchor on your dreams in some ways, right?

SPEAKER_04 27:52

It's like Yeah but it's like it's it's it's worth it.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

It's a good anchor because like what are you getting like you you you're getting this human who is like so there's positives and negatives from one perspective like at least from my experience you have purpose that you've never seen before that you've never felt before that's unlike anything you will ever experience like I finally have something to live for and I know my purpose in this world.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

But at the same time it's an anchor of like I can't do so many things that I could have done had I not had kids right what if that is always what if but there it comes with for a lot of people it comes with a little bit of an identity crisis because you have a kid or you have kids and you're like who am I now? You don't have to be one thing or another this is what I've learned at least I don't know if this will be helpful to you maybe maybe not but a lot of times I was like I can't be this like ambitious lawyer.

Court Of Public Opinion And Boundaries

SPEAKER_04 28:42

I'm a mom now I have to calm down but then I realized I can be both and you can be both you can be a great dancer follow your dreams whatever they may be maybe stay in Napa if that's the best thing for your child you see I have a I have a really bad disadvantage in this and I'll tell you what my disadvantage is I learned about myself I can't focus on many things at once. Like I'm so used to I so train myself like being a dancer right like being in that sport I train myself for that and that's why you were so good because you become obsessed with what you're doing. Right and then if anything I touch like whatever that is actually my dad is the same way like this this crazy story I'll I'll say I'll say he he he he wanted to paint. One day he woke up like I want to I I want to paint and he painted freaking Mona Lisa that's the painting he chose to do. I'll show you a picture after this it's unbelievable like it was he never painted ever in his life and not painting like drawing I'm talking like oil paint and he painted this Mona Lisa it's like it's back at my by my parents house it's looking phenomenal never paint a thing and then he's done he's like I did this one off and I was done I'm so like him like I focus like if I get really curious about something I put all my focus into this little like whatever that is and I I have to execute that I cannot multifunction different things and I feel like with my son it's the same way when he's with me like my brain just like shuts off and goes into this direction and it's I get it would be like consistent Monday Tuesday you take care of this Wednesday Thursday Wednesday you take care of whatever you need to take care of like you can create that like okay I can switch now with me it's it's like with my schedule it doesn't work this way. So it's like I get them when it's always different right and in a distracted world that's actually such a skill set but it's like such a disadvantage because I I can't like it's hard for me to switch from one to another that fast. Like I actually have like in a perfect world what I would do perfect world whatever that is I would like leave for two weeks and get something done and I'll be I'll be doing 247. And that's how dancing with the stars works for me and that's I think that's why it was such a perfect gig for my mindset and even though like it was very hard because I know myself like I was just diving even deeper than I should have done and take way too serious than I should have actually um like my time like when I started the season it was like I everything that I did during day was to be better at that. Whether it's good whether it's bad I don't know whether it's effective I don't know I felt satisfied with that purpose and that's so because then I can just for the rest of the year I can relax and just do things that's kind of like okay like I'm interested in you know um and now I don't really like I'm finding those products maybe that's why I got built a house because I'm like okay maybe like this is my thing this is my calling I really enjoy doing don't get me wrong I love doing that whether it's a career I don't know I don't it's I think I'm just scared to like let's just jump and do it as a career let's find an investor find a house flip it and sell it.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

I mean you have a skill you worked since on since you were a teenager you can't give it up honestly for construction.

SPEAKER_04 32:14

You can't it's a hard like it's also like makes like no down to like construction like I I admire people who does that for a living and I it's it's a hard work. It really is a hard work. But it's like I also can neglect something that I've done for years.

LA vs Napa: Work, Identity, And Opportunity

SPEAKER_02 32:28

People who are great at anything like exceptional like the top of the top in any industry they have that disadvantage as you call it I would call it an advantage but they are able to focus in like a tank with no peripheral vision and all they see is their goals. They don't see anything else and that is why that is a huge competitive advantage over everyone else in the game. That's how Kobe Bryant was that's how I mean anyone you think about who has been exceptional at anything has had that skill set.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

But he is an arena where that can be shown and used.

SPEAKER_04 33:05

I don't know if I'm ready to just like close that chapter completely because I also know myself unless I'm doing it how I want to do it and where I want to be I don't know if I want to do it at all I don't know if it's something in me speaking of like still feeling hurt maybe a little bit or it's like legit how I feel but I know that I don't want to continuously like go let's say on social media and see like things pop up from the show that I've been part of for a long time. Because it does make you feel like why am I not doing this you know it does have that the feeling of like oh I this is what I'm good at why am I not you know like how come you know it's such a small it's such a small world like it's it's very the circle is very small.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

And I'm sure you are hurt by it because you didn't just do it as a job you put your heart and soul and full energy into it and just because of one situation one article you haven't been called back.

Choosing What’s Best For A Child

SPEAKER_04 34:08

You were amazing on the but even saying that I was I still wasn't back even before anything happened they didn't brought me back that season let's get gritty is the audience QA portion of our show. Oh my goodness is that this question these are the audience questions we got a lot of them oh yeah no let's do it shockingly a lot of them oh god I hope they like this did you read them before you put them down there I sent them to you too okay good surprise me okay ready let's see from lovely zero six one two lovely0612 dating am I dating I'm not dating sorry lovely I mean not sorry it's probably good for lovely have you date been on any um dating websites yes and no I have a tempt but I just quickly was like probably I probably I don't want to be there yeah but like do you put your real picture on there if you sign up on a no what happened is like I I used to have this uh Raya uh app that I I was on it like a while ago and it's like it still exists apparently I didn't even know it still exists is Raya a dating app yeah it's a it still exists so I I guess I am on that still but I'm not like I'm not in the you're not in the place to date right now yeah yeah I don't think I'm there it's okay focus on yourself um okay next question from Singh Sister Sang how have you grown as a divorced man kind of a personal question Sing Sister Sing it's a very deep one uh how have you grown as a divorced man I don't think you can like I mean it's like it's it's it's a bound to be a grow like you just gotta figure it out how to be single parent I mean in the end of the day that's what you call single parent single parent even if single dad single dad yeah not single parent single dad um I don't know how to answer that to be honest because it's you can't really like justify like oh I've grown I've done this better or this better it's from what I it's a whole different circumstances of existing yeah and you just do like there's now an option to fail.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Just go with the flow.

SPEAKER_04 36:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:25

But you don't just do you do exceptionally I mean from what you talk about you sound like an amazing dad because there are single dads that we see all the time that don't take it very seriously. They do what they're supposed to do. They keep their kids alive but they don't think about their interests their well being their needs.

Dating After Public Scandal

SPEAKER_04 36:42

You think about all those I came across few people in my like re not recently but I don't again pinpoint anybody but I came through a few dads who are again a single dad that have their kid like once a week and they're like hang out with them after school and then they off to do whatever they need to do. Um I don't think I can do that. Yeah I don't know I'm I guess I'm way too emotionally involved with my son like I it's he's part of your yeah like I I don't know if I can like like it like like I would it would be sad to me if my son like oh I just want to go hang out somewhere else like it I would actually get genuinely sad. I would be like oh you don't want to hang out with me like let's build it like like let's social like let's let's do things together you know um like I'm always like I want that experience with my son you know I I don't think I could ever give up I would never even be able to imagine life without him yeah I tell my kids they're never allowed to move out even when they're married I'm like I will work so hard so that I can buy a compound for you to move out of the next day because I don't ever want to be without them they're my best friends. Yeah yeah okay from Desi Samantha what has life been like outside of dancing with the stars god this is like a hardcore question what has life been like boring regular life I mean grocery shopping um cooking where do you grocery shop trade the Joe's the Whole Foods the Rolfs I mean there's so many stores Costco I discovered Costco oh my god just now yeah no I mean not just now like probably a year like like in the recent whatever time oh my god this is like an experience when we first came to America my family was shocked my consider was like what is this place my son is obsessed you know every stands when you try things oh my god yes my kids are like can we go this is a place where they give us food for free no terror at least like an advice like oh I want to try that I'm like are you sure like oh yeah yeah I want to I'm like okay and he's just he's he's obsessed okay so from DD Rambler I would love to hear an update on your house building and remodeling progress oh god it's coming a lot of curve to learn again like I'm doing everything myself well me and my dad like we have I do have help that I can ask how things being done whatever but all the work and labor we're doing ourselves but what I'm doing is getting permits getting an architect get an engineer get them together get the plans get sorted get submitted it's like that's a whole another part of the world that I've never dealt before those logistics and I think that's really frustrating because it's a it takes a long time and sometimes it's people being very difficult.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

It's a lot of red tape red tape up the yeah so you're like a general contractor for yourself.

SPEAKER_04 39:49

I really like I actually like really like I would do that. If I would get some investors who wants to uh invest in the project or flip please sign me and I'm a win like you can manage them late yeah because again I actually enjoy that process yeah how long do you think it'll take you to complete the entire rebuild once because you're very committed to finishing it. Yeah I would love to be done before summer. Wow all right that's that's good I anticipate I mean I would love to be done within two months to be honest. Okay now realistically if it's all really up to me I think two months I can move in.

SPEAKER_02 40:28

They'll be done in 2026. Yes every episode we do a glam tip of the week but this week we thought it would be great to come from you. So you've started anew and you're rebuilding so for any person rebuilding their life yeah what is your glam tip?

SPEAKER_04 40:45

Glam tip for building a life you know I think I think the best tip you can have really surround yourself with people who have like believe in you. I think that's the one surround with the right people yourself because that is I think going to be the key because you will focus on that positivity.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

And I think it's important to remind yourself of how far you've come because it's very easy to forget you're very self-aware. That's what I've seen you're extremely self-aware. I remind myself of this every day that I have to consciously look for abundance what in my life is there and I have a great life but I'm exhausted all the time there's so much and I'm always like oh I'm so tired I'm such and I'm like no Mila reshift but you have so much you have some you know even just waking up or like I've been forcing myself to like before I take my first sip of coffee I love my coffee but I never notice how much I love it because I'm so tired. And I'm like no stop and remember like what a privilege it is to have this coffee that you love.

Rebuilding Identity Beyond The Show

SPEAKER_04 41:46

Yeah yeah no I do that but you're right like you you're taking for granted a lot of privilege you have and you never recognize them until you hit the point where you're like oh I used to have so much time or I used to do this and I used to do that. But you only really appreciate when you're actually missing that online. Yeah. And that's the really like a shitty nature of I guess being human like you don't necessarily you you do have a tendency of taking for granted things that just easy and like oh you just think that's normal. You only see that otherwise when you don't have that anymore.

unknown 42:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

Well thank you so much for joining us. No thank you for having me. So awesome so great to catch up. Hopefully you come back again soon let's do it this wasn't a comeback story it was a continuation. Growth doesn't erase the past it integrates it.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

If this episode resonated share it with someone today and remember the grind doesn't end when life falls apart. That's often where it really begins.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

Thanks for joining us today don't forget to like follow and subscribe we'll see you next time on the glamorous grind