Episode 50: The Things Women Don’t Talk About (But All Think About)

Episode Description:

Episode 50. 💗

We couldn’t think of a better way to mark this milestone than by saying the quiet parts out loud.

In this episode, we unpack the topics women think about constantly but rarely say — not because they don’t matter, but because we’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived. Ungrateful. Lazy. Privileged. Needy. Doing life wrong.

From hiring help and the quiet math of motherhood… to money habits without sharing numbers… to sex, resentment, body image, jealousy, and identity shifts — we explore what we’re actually concealing when we stay silent.

Spoiler: it’s usually insecurity, fear, or the pressure to look like we have it all figured out.

This conversation isn’t about comparison. It’s about normalization. Because we’re not sharing numbers — we’re sharing normal. And when one woman says the thing out loud, ten others feel less alone.

What We Talk About

• Why certain topics feel “off limits” for women

• Hiring help, outsourcing, and protecting energy without shame

• Talking about money through priorities and choices instead of dollar amounts

• Marriage and intimacy — how desire shifts by season and why connection matters more than frequency

• Weight, comparison, and the nuance of accepting your body while still wanting change

• Identity shifts — loving your life while missing former versions of yourself

• Jealousy as data — what it might actually be pointing to

If this episode resonates, send it to a friend — and DM us one thing you’ve never said out loud. Chances are, someone else is thinking it too.

💗 Pink Spotlight

Each week, we highlight a moment, product, or practice that’s bringing us joy:

T: Starting Mahjong — something that was actually on her 2026 goals list. Learning how to play, joining a group that meets regularly, and stepping into something new socially and mentally. Proof that it’s never too late to try something different just because it sounds fun.

Christina: An overnight date night and seeing Dancing with the Stars live on tour — which felt nostalgic, fun, and like such a reminder to prioritize connection. Also, a little shopping moment that turned into an unexpected everyday win: finding a Coach bag that feels designer-inspired but still practical, high quality, and wearable on repeat.

🌸 Things We Mentioned

Today’s episode is sponsored by Fongemie, owner of Lux Hair Co.

Sam is known for her dimensional color and seamless extension work, creating natural, lived-in hair that grows out beautifully. If you’ve been considering extensions or a color refresh, this is your sign.

Listeners can mention Pretty in Pink Again or PIPA for a special offer on new extension installations.

Follow Sam on Instagram at @PaintLoveBlend to book or learn more.

💗 Join the Conversation

If this episode made you feel seen, don’t keep it to yourself.

• Follow us on Instagram: @prettyinpinkagain

• Connect with Christina: @christinatarabishy

• Connect with T: @kristinabontempo

• Send this episode to a friend who needs to hear it

And if you’ve been listening quietly for a while… this is your nudge.

Leaving a quick review helps more women find conversations like this — and for our 50th episode, it would mean more than you know.

Transcript

0:00

I'm Christina. And I'm t And this is the Pretty and Pink Again podcast. Where Motherhood meets Rediscovery. Take two. Take two, take 50 guys. It's our 50th episode today. 50 times behind the mic. I know. It's wild. It's been so crazy. We started our podcast in February last year. Mm-hmm. And I think we took two weeks off, so Yeah. We, here we are. 50 episodes in. Cool. I've loved this so much. I know, me too. And we're both just so appreciative of all the support over the last 50 episodes. We obviously wouldn't still be sitting here without support from our listeners and the little community that we have built of Pippa's. And we just, we love you and I love you. T it's been such a great, it's been such a great. Project and business, and I'm just so grateful. And we have a really fun episode today. We do. Yeah. Tea actually was inspired for this episode. I feel like most of our inspiration comes from just like these conversations that we have. Mm-hmm. Or maybe even at conversations that we're involved in directly, but like snippets of things that we're like listening to. Yeah. And hearing. So I went to this networking dinner a couple of weeks ago and I thought this was like a really cute idea. And I actually, we did last weekend when I went away with the girls, I ended up doing it again. And so everybody had a card and you had to ask a question and then you like, kick it off with your own answer and then everybody answers. So my question was, what's your pink spotlight? Because that's like very on brand for me. Yeah. Yeah. But everybody had different questions and one of the questions at the table was. What are things that women don't talk about but you think they should? And I thought that was such a juicy question. So juicy. And a lot of people had overlapping thoughts on the matter. But it was a really like fun game to play. So I highly recommend it. And then last weekend when I was away with the girls, we missed you. I know. You couldn't make it. I know. Because you were doing all fun things. Fun things. We were dancing with the stars. I know. Which was so fun after four meals together. Yeah. I was like, let's play this game. And so everybody went around the table and asked a question. So there was five girls there. So we ended up, there was like five questions in total and it was it was like a fun little And so this was your question. It was a fun game. Yep. Yeah. So I'm curious because I have a feeling, and I'm sure our listeners are probably like already. Ruminating and thinking about what their answers would be. What do you wish more women talked about? What were some of the answers? Because I'm sure we're gonna cover a lot of these, but can you just give us like a couple high level themes maybe of things that people said? Yeah, I don't wanna give away like too much of the conversation that like took place in that room. Of course not. But some of the questions were that they thought that women should talk more about was like sex with their partner marriage things. People don't talk enough about money. That was a huge one, I'm sure. Help. Do you have help? Like transparency around it. Do you have a cleaning person? Do you have help with your children? Do you have help with your work? Do you have an assistant, like just help in general? Mm-hmm. That was like a huge topic. Who's behind the scenes helping you out. Who Yeah. Who's helping you behind the scenes? Like, how do you spend your time? Honestly, how do you spend your time? Yep. How I just thought that those were really good. Talking points. But what we were all finding is that women often stay silent. Because of the fear of judgment. Of course, I'm gonna sound lazy if I say this answer ungrateful or I'm gonna sound privileged. Yep. Like this is an elitist conversation. Yep. Like all of these like bad things. So then women often just, hold, goes withhold and goes silent, which I don't think that's good either. So I think that there is some, like some level of sharing can be very helpful. I also think, obviously you're worried about like the perception, right? You don't wanna look lazy, privileged, needy, like you're doing things wrong, like it's the fear of judgment, like you said. But I think that all of that stems from insecurity. Oh, 100%. I think that when you ask somebody a question. You're curious about something that you can be actionable on. It's very easy to actually ask and listen and gather information, but you have to be prepared that you're not gonna like the information that you are getting when you are in that collective information period. Right. But if you are trying to be like actionable about something specific, it's easier to take bits and pieces from people and then come up with a plan. But when you're asking about things that you are already insecure about, you have to be ready to hear something that maybe you don't like and don't like something. Yep. That's it. You go right back, you revert right back into shutdown mode. Right. Right. So I think that's why women end up whispering about these topics because you're already insecure about them to begin with. Yep. I totally agree. I know I am though. These are all topics that I like. Have at times, whispered about, of course. And we, the whole point of this podcast was to have conversations that are uncomfortable. And a lot of them, a lot of these themes are things that we have almost put in our mission statement of things that we want to make comfortable. No, you don't have to go blasting your business to everybody, but I do think it's important to have a few people around you that you can get like honest feedback around people that you trust. And because I think that it betters you. And some of these things we're gonna talk about, obviously why they're sometimes hush hush topics and what makes'em uncomfortable. But we're also gonna talk about the reasons why we think they're important to bring up, right? So we're gonna go through some of the themes. Let's do it. The first one you already mentioned is hiring help, right? Like that quiet math of running a household and having a life, and motherhood and all of that. Why do you feel like people don't talk about hiring help? Like you said, that could be an assistant at your work. That could be a house cleaner, that could be a house manager, that could be a nanny at your house. Why do you think that it's uncomfortable for people to admit that they have help? The first word that comes to mind is laziness. Yeah. You feel like somebody's gonna think that you're lazy because you're not doing it all right? And we know it's not possible to do it all right? You're not lazy at all. We know this. It's like you almost know that you're not lazy and you know that you can't do it right. You can't do it all at the same time. We've said that so many times here, but yet you still feel weird and guilty, admitting that you have help. And it, and you worry that it makes you sound lazy. Well, Help also sounds like elitist and privilege. Yes. Which, okay. Yes, it is a privilege, but let's get that out of the way. Yes. It's a privilege. But now let's lean into that in a positive way, right? If you are able to have help, what are you using it for? Let's not talk about it like in such, such a bad way. Are you using it so you can better yourself in your career? Are you using it because you're bad at this task and you're better at another task? Or using it because you have multiple children and you actually need to do it. Mm-hmm. Are you using it because you're a single mom and you don't have a husband? I don't know. There's all these different reasons and it doesn't matter the reason. People need help. They do. Everybody needs help. You cannot do it all. We all know this and we all know the ramifications of trying to do it all. And we know it makes us Looney tune. So it's like, why? Why wouldn't this be something that we're comfortable talking about? What I kind of wish, so for example, like cleaning for example. It's how often, what do they do at your house? What don't they do at your house? Okay. Like I feel like some of those things like are not you just bragging that you have a cleaning person. Some of those things are like actually helpful to know. They're also actionable. This actually came up at the dinner. Yeah.'cause I said what do you have your cleaning person do? And I said, I was like, I just wanna ask you, how many of you have a cleaning lady? Okay. And if you have one, when do you have them come? Do you have them come once a week? Do you have them come twice a week? Do you have them come once every other week? Tell me what has worked for you. So I came from it more of a place of I am looking for a better system in my house.'cause the system in my house I feel like is not that great. I've never had a good cleaning system in my house. So tell me some success stories. That was more of a place that it was coming from and then everybody shared. I wasn't looking for validation oh, I have one, so it's okay. Or to compare, or to say oh, I have someone come once a week and you have someone come twice a week. It's not to do that's, it was not to compare at all. It was truly to be like actionable and tell me a good system that works. Mm-hmm. And I think if you come from a place like that, help me find a better system because mine does not. For sure. I think I totally agree. And that reminded me of the episode that we had with Courtney Cecil a couple of months back. Yeah. We always reopen that one because she talked about how important that topic is first of all, admitting it, talking around it, building systems around having help at your house. And she brought up the topic of a house manager, which I thought was just so genius because that was like an actionable item off of that episode was. Maybe like you're having a cleaning person at your house because everybody has a cleaning person at your house and you think that you need to have a cleaning person at your house. She walks into people's homes and into people's lives and actually helps them restructure how they go about. Help in their house. And that's actually something she removes and she, that was the first thing on the list that she removes because she thinks that it's too broad. A lot of the times you're better reallocating that money and those funds into having a house manager to help you get back tasks. She thought like maybe cleaning for example, might not actually take you that long and you can break it up. She's talking about more like families. Like how often do you have a cleaner come to your house and literally the next day it doesn't look like you have a cleaner come to your house. Yeah. Every single time. So that conversation opened up my eyes to that. Maybe that doesn't make sense for us right now. We actually don't have a cleaning person at our house right now, and we break up the tasks and do them. Not all at once. So the whole house doesn't feel clean all of the time. But we get it done together and and then we've reallocated money towards other things that we do need help with. That makes more sense for our family. So the house manager was something that she brought up, like helping you run errands, helping you organize, helping you keep track of like inventory at your house. What are you low on? Ordering Some of those things. Doing some errands, doing returns. Those are the things that actually eat the majority of your time. You can take a whole day doing returns you take. Yep. And running things and replenishing. She actually also said for her,'cause she's a full-time working mom. Mm-hmm. Like food and cooking. Yeah. She said, my kids have to eat every single day three times a day. I have somebody that comes in meal preps for me and meal preps for her. So I don't do that anymore. I'm like, you don't you? But I was thinking that the hours that I spend cooking it's like I'm a prisoner to my kitchen island for sure. For probably three hours a day. For sure. Those are three hours that I spend every single day cooking for my family. So some of this is just conversation that I think opening this up, you're like, wow, wait. We do that. And sometimes you're just on the hamster wheel, like you're doing it'cause you think that's what you're supposed to do. And sometimes having these conversations opens your mind up to different ideas that might be better systems for your family and might which is not actually a privilege thing. Yes. Which it actually might save you some money or it might just open up your eyes to maybe reallocate the money differently. So let's talk about help with kids. Yes. When I used to work at the hospital, it was understood that if you came to work in the morning and you had young children, you were dropping them off at school, at daycare, at grandma's house, you were dropping your kids off somewhere. You had help. It was just understood. Yeah. I think you didn't have to talk about it. It was understood if you were coming to work in person. You had help with your kids. Yeah. You had to. Everybody had it in some capacity, or if your kids were home sick. You had help stay home with your kids that were homesick. You weren't calling out sick when you were working at the hospital. Very rarely were the moms or somebody like me that didn't have kids would cover the shift. Yeah, that was the gold standard. I think how times have changed and jobs have become so much more flexible and we have all these new jobs that are work from home jobs. Yeah, and you could probably speak to this, you're still working. Yeah. The work is still being done, but there is no. Like you were working for many years as a content creator and were watching your peers work, and you didn't realize they had help. Yeah. I can't, I honestly can't believe that we're in 2026 and we're still having this hush hush around childcare because everybody has help with their kids, unless you're staying at home and that's what you're doing, which we know is a full-time job itself, you have to have help with your kids if you're going to work. You have to, you said that whether that was preschool, daycare, like there's somebody helping with the kids. So when I became a parent almost four years ago, I did not even realize that other content creators, other people in my field, other peers, had help with their children. And so I didn't, I just was doing it all. I think that a lot of that led to me having like a mental breakdown, right? But I was trying to do it all. So let's just emphasize that was not good. No, it was not good. I didn't realize that was like okay to do. I thought that I could do it all and I remember having a conversation with one of my girlfriends, who's another content creator, and I was talking about working in between Leo's naps. Literally I would put him down for naps and then I would be crazy trying to get everything done, filming, editing, responding to emails, concepting campaigns, all of this. You were trying to work all whole job. I was trying to work a full-time job in two hours and squeeze in his naps, and then I was lucky at that time. My mom was coming up pretty consistently. Once a week would help me out for that day, but I was eight. Crazy person trying to basically do a full-time job in those hours. And I remember talking to a peer of mine and she said, wait a minute, you don't have somebody that's watching your kid. And I said, I do you. I didn't know that people have help with their kids because even influencers, and I'm an influencer and a content creator. I was thinking that people like, people don't share this. They don't say, somebody's with our kids. Our kids are in school. We have somebody home with them when they're not in school. Or maybe their kids are little and it's just not very clear. And so me as somebody in this space was completely duped into thinking that other people doing their job were do, were trying to do it the same way as I was. And no, this girl had a nanny at her house. No, I have a nanny at my house. Do you think that four days a week, do you think that people aren't sharing because they're just trying to protect, like the image, like the image? Or is it like they're trying to protect like the privacy of their employer? I think that's because you've, you don't share on your social media. I don't share that. A nanny, I don't share my actual nanny. But you don't share on there that you have a nanny up, like front and personal. There you go. Yes. I'm just saying not to call you up, but I'm just saying yeah, but why do you think that is? Maybe,'cause here you feel comfortable ta it's not like you don't feel comfortable talking about it. It's true. It's very true. Is it that you don't feel comfortable like showing it? What's difference? I definitely don't feel comfortable showing it because it's for privacy reasons. I try to be, I try to be protective of my kids. It's privacy reasons, of course. But I do agree, like when I'm sitting in this chair, I'm rattling off that I have help all day long. But I guess it's not something that gets weaved into the content. Yeah. And maybe that is something that makes a lot of sense. Like I, I could say day in my life when the nanny gets here, this is what I do. But it's, it. One of those things where I guess it's not, so I guess it just, it doesn't, it, it doesn't necessarily matter the reason. It doesn't get shown. So you, it's not discussed. It doesn't get shown, so it's not discussed. And so I had no idea that other people were doing their jobs and doing them well, and probably doing them to a better capacity than I was because I was working part-time. So they were working smarter and productive. Yes. They were working full-time jobs with help and I was working part-time with no help but it was just something that I didn't really think about because it's not discussed. And so I ran myself into the ground that year, just not really working smarter and I was working harder. Luckily somebody tipped you off. Yeah. So you could, I said, wait, is this an unspoken so you could make a change? I said, is this an unspoken rule? Yeah. Everybody has help. I'm like, what? And so I can totally understand how like a consumer of that content would totally not think that people have help. And they definitely do. I know content creators that have nannies that have that send their kids to full-time daycare, and it's just not something that's talked about. It's a job. It's a job. You're your job. You're working your job. Just like any, just like anything else. Yeah. But I just think that when your job is from home, I, and. It doesn't get the same maybe level of respect as it would if you were leaving and going somewhere else. I totally agree. Right. So maybe that's what it is. Maybe there's some shame involved in that. Yeah. I think that, honestly, I'm sure the last like several years with more positions going to that work from home model. I'm sure so many people can relate to that. I honestly remember thinking before we had kids, people would meet my husband and I who are both, we both own our own businesses. And both work for ourselves. People would say to us all the time, oh, that's great because the kids will just be home with you. And we were like, oh yeah. Not realizing that of course they're, we're going to need help. And so it's just crazy to me that's ingrained still. And i'm sure that people hear that like whispering, right? And then that gets in your head, right? And so then that would make you feel like, oh, okay, so is it not okay that we have help even though we're trying to work, it's very much okay for you to have help. And I think then that goes back to what we were originally saying. Then you don't end up talking to people about what you're doing because if somebody says something like that to you, then you're like, oh, wait. Yeah. So we are home. So then, so I guess have in the kids should be home. Right? Exactly. I guess we should be doing this all, so should we be doing this? But that's not, you don't have to do it that way. I think that the lesson here overall and the way we can reframe and the benefit to talking about these things is that delegating doesn't mean that you're failing or that you're lazy. It means that. You're protecting your energy. Yeah. You're protecting a lot. The whole point of opening up these conversations is to help other people find a system that works for them. What works for one isn't gonna work for all right? But if you can share what is working for yourself or share with somebody what's not working maybe they can give you a tip on how to make you work more efficiently. Yep. Have women share options versus, like comparisons. Yes. I think that options are so helpful. Like even just to say for, I keep, I'm relating it back to me, but I remember asking people like, okay, so now you do have help at home, right? So you have a nanny come to your house. What hours do they come? How does that make sense? Like it's helpful to know you're not just trying Yeah. What hours are most beneficial to you? Yeah. For somebody in this job that's working okay, then how do you have them come? What hours do they come? What do they do? What do they do? I think that all of thats, but you have to helpful help. And asking for help and being okay with somebody knowing you want help. Before you can then get to what do they do? Right. So I think that once you hit that first layer, which that's what we're trying to remove. Yep. Then get into the nitty gritty, like, how do you make this work? How do you do it? Give me the juicy nuggets. Like how, when do you have them come? Yeah. Yep. Do you, what do you have them do for you? Yeah. Do you have them help you with laundry? Do you have them like meal prep? Do you have them take your kids out of the house so then you can be by yourself? Yep. How do you feel comfortable with them driving your kids? I don't know. I just think that all of these are questions that we have ruminating in our minds. Yeah. When you have somebody watching your child. Yep. I totally agree. And all of those I think are. Questions that were going on in my mind, and all of those were worked out because I was having conversations with people about it. Yeah. Today's episode is brought to you by Sam Funmi, a luxe hair salon in Avon, Connecticut. If you've ever wished for thicker, fuller, wow hair that still gives you that natural look, she is your girl. Sam is the bombshell hair extension queen and one that Christine and I trust for our own hair. And trust us when we say we've tried everything. These extensions feel incredibly natural. 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This is for new installs and new clients Only you can find Sam on Instagram at Paint Love Blend So another one that you said came up at the dinner, which of course would be the number one thing is money. That's what I would think. Sure. Yeah. I think there's a lot of shame involving money sometimes. Mm-hmm. Like some women I don't think have any financial literacy whatsoever, so they don't really even know how to talk about money. They don't know like. How their finances are. Or some women just don't feel comfortable talking about money because it's a shared thing between them and their husband. Yeah. Like you can get protective about it and you feel like maybe you're protective of it. Yeah. But people don't talk about it. But I think you can talk about money without talking about numbers. We don't need to be talking about what exactly things cost, but we can talk about like ways we save money, things that we spend our money on is a personal thing. And it also reflects what your values are. So if you are spending money on a trip, you may not be spending money on, I don't know, your home. So when you talk about money, you have to also step away from a comparison trap. Yes.'cause you're not, you're not comparing apples to apples all the time when you're talking about money. Money. Yep. Which again, I think that's why maybe people don't Yep. Also money. Talking about money again, goes back to those things like, it sounds privileged, it sounds elitist, but not if you don't have any money and you're trying to figure out how to make it. Yeah, that's true. I dunno yeah, I think you can ask about money, like how are you saving in like a peaceful way? How are you saving for college? How are you making this work? Like how are you save for projects around your home or, yeah. And also to, not to spoil this, but we actually have a financial expert coming on our podcast in a couple weeks. I know. I'm so excited to talk a about money. I know. So we're gonna lift the veil and really get into that. We're gonna talk a lot about money with Jane Sullivan, which I'm really excited about. I, I, she's coming, in a couple weeks into the studio to talk about money. That's gonna be great. So I'm sure we're gonna get into a lot of that because we're gonna talk about the emotional aspect of it too and the shame around it. So we're gonna get into that a little bit more in a couple weeks. Another one is just like body image in general. Yeah. The whole conversation of like body image and like what it takes to maintain a weight. How you have to be disciplined with eating and making good choices and movement and all the work that goes into maintaining a weight at this age. I feel like this is important too with the bounce back culture, which we always talk about how much we hate. Oh, yeah. Because I feel like it's just it just feels so icky to talk about bodies. But I think that a lot of it comes down to jealousy. With my hormone health, like my weight has been all over the place, so I have just now put back on weight and I feel like the last couple of years I'm just like, can I stay a specific size? It's like drives me crazy. Just the up and down. So you're thinking to Yes. How You don't talk about weight fluctuation Don and how frustrating. It's don't Yes. I feel like the, I don't think that is something that's discussed. It is not. And I feel and that is maddening. It is maddening. It is maddening and I feel like it, it ends up trickling into every single aspect of your life. Like right now, I just feel like I spent the last couple of years like rebuilding back my wardrobe and then I start working on my hormone health and now I'm up a size and I'm like, are you kidding me? You know what I mean? All the things I just started reinvesting in. Wait, can we just say, we were talked about this off camera the other day about how, so Christina is doing a really good job of putting herself first. Oh yeah. And taking care of her hormone health. Yeah. She's eating healthy, she's feeling better and she's looking amazing. But we were teasing off camera about how like. You were working on getting your sodium levels up. Yeah.'cause you couldn't absorb any nutrients. Yep.'cause you had no sodium. Guess what happened? So she was telling us me this story about how she gained a few pounds because now it's all water weight, sodium levels are high. So she has water weight. And so we were saying that it's like mean girls. Like mean girls. The INE bars. Yep. It's all water weight you're gonna gain and then you're gonna lose five pounds. Like that. Like that. And I'm like, that's what, are they feeding you INE bars? Yeah, basically. So now my sodium is up, it's better for my nutrient absorption, but I'm holding on all this water weight. And now it's every single pant that I just invested back in is tight on me. My rings are tight on me. I'm like, how are we back here again? Because that drives me crazy, because then it's all of the stuff that we've talked about in the podcast where it's I go into my closet and what should be easy because I've spent time making a capsule wardrobe. Now nothing fits again. I know. So literally I, it is something that you feel, that I feel funky talking about and like even to me, like I don't feel right because you're not overweight and you don't have weight issues. And then I funny talking about it, right? Because I'm like, then someone might look at me and be like, what is she complaining about? But it's just it's an internal thing. Yeah. And it's sometimes, again, it's something that it's like to vent or to feel heard or to just, to be like what did you do in this situation? How are you feeling better about yourself in this situation? It is definitely. Something that feels funny. Talking about, even for me, weight fluctuation is Yes, very frustrating. Especially when it's affecting like a bunch of different things. Yeah. And I feel like it like leads to jealousy and I don't, and I don't even mean for me, it's not like jealousy oh, I wish I had her body. It's I wish I felt comfortable in my body, so I'm jealous of that. Yes. I wish that it's not oh, I wanna look like that. Sometimes I do, but it's I wish that I felt comfortable enough to be in something like that, or, I wish I was more comfortable in my body. Also sometimes I think talking about weight, it's like a vanity thing. So you're afraid of, so you don't wanna sound vain. Like all of these things sound trivial. Another big one that I don't really feel like my friends and I talk about all that much, I feel like we talk about a lot is marriage and sex. Like we don't really talk about that stuff. No. All that often. Maybe we don't talk about it.'cause it's not like a big deal to me. I don't like, it's not like something that I wanna talk about. Everyone's just been married for so long, so there's nobody wants to hear about married people's sex. Yeah. That's boring. I don't know, was that something that came up at the dinner That was like another topic? Mm-hmm. Like Peop that people don't really talk about. And I was like, why? Why do you need to talk about it? Yeah. Why do you need to talk about it? Like why do you need to talk about it? Just talk about it to your husband if he thinks you're giving it to him enough times a week. That's really all that matters. Do you think that people are talking about it again, back to the comparison, do you think that they're trying to compare to maybe feel better? Maybe. Maybe they're like, okay, so if I'm doing it twice a week and she's doing it once a week, then I'm a good wife, then you're the better wife then I'm a better wife. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. So it's almost like a little bit of like validation in a way. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. That's so funny. But it's like another thing that people don't really wanna talk about. I think that especially as you're married and as we're like in this age, I think that a lot of it is to protect your partner. That's what Oh, totally. For sure. That's my reason, my number one. But I also do think that topic, especially in the season that we're in, you have kids, you have all these responsibilities there, we're in this midlife, which we keep going back to. I feel we always talk about how exhaustion is so real, and it's hard to have an emotional connection in the middle of all of this chaos. So I think maybe not framing it as like, how many times are you doing it with your husband a week? Yeah. It's more just like. How are you connecting and how do you guys get past that, how do you make time to feel connected when your husband gets connected by sex and you get connected to him by time intimacy by intimacy. Exactly. How do you fill both cups? Yeah. And how do you make time for that? Yeah. So it's reframing it as less nosy and just more about the connection piece and maybe how to better yourself in the relationship overall, I would probably also say the most important one to me is, and it was again, a reason why our podcast ended up taking this spin, right? Because I don't think that we exactly knew what we were gonna talk about. We always say that we thought we were going to sit in these chairs and shoot the shit and just like gab. And what ended up transpiring was conversations around identity and like private struggles and motherhood struggles and rediscovering yourself and all of this. It just, it, it evolved to that, and I think that part of our mission is opening up conversations around that. And so I think that over the last 50 episodes over the last year, we have tried to lift the veil on that topic or those topics, I should say. As much as possible. I think just in general, this overall feeling that, you're in motherhood, you're in midlife, and you should feel happier, right? And all of the conversations that can come around that, right? And like the huge identity shift that it is becoming a mom and entering this new kind of chapter of our lives. I wanted all of those things to be spoken about because I didn't even feel like I had an outlet to go listen to those types of conversations. So I'm sure like, you can look at our list of the last 50 episodes and we go into, so many of our episodes are about those topics, right? I think it's very timely that at episode 50 Yeah we are talking about like the secrets women keep. We didn't even plan that'cause No, because the past 50 episodes have been all about the secrets. About the secrets women keep. Yep. Without even calling it that. Yeah. Like we had somebody come on and talk about like systems in your life and how to like hack that. That's something that's not always shared about, we talked about like conflict with female friendships. Yep. That's not always talked about. People always talk about conflict. They experience it, but they don't talk about it. Yep. Because. Conflict and resolution is such like a beautiful part of a friendship. Yep. But it's always, all of these things can sometimes be tied into this like negative complainy, naggy woman thing, which you wanna suppress. Yes. And you wanna be seen and heard and look nice, but you can present yourself as an like, eloquent woman and also have all these conversations and all these things ruminating through your head at the same time. Yeah. Like you can be volunteering at the school and also being on your phone bidding on a Chanel bag in eBay at the same time. Two things can be true at the same time. It's true. And even's what makes a woman. Yeah. And even thinking back, like we talked a little bit about the kind of like the body image issues. And we had somebody on that talked about the importance of finding pieces in your closet that you could feel good in. Yeah. And we talked about weight loss extensively, and we're gonna have Steph go back on, because that was one of our most popular episodes. She's coming back to talk a little bit more about that. I think that we have opened up a lot of these conversations around these topics that women have been so uncomfortable discussing. Even with their close friends, one of the last things that I wanted to discuss was the topic of jealousy. Because I don't think that jealousy, I think jealousy is something that's acted out. Yes. And I don't think that it's ever really spoken about. I think it's something that is mostly just an internal thing that I think you usually know when you're jealous. But it's not something that you talk about. Without sounding catty. Or without sounding jealous, you know? Right. what does it mean to you to feel jealous? I think it's when you're deeply insecure about something that you wish that you had. And I think that to your point, it's when you act out about that, and it doesn't necessarily mean you have to like physically or even say something out loud, but it could even mean how you then act towards that person that you're jealous of or towards that situation that you're jealous of. So you might avoid it. Like that's an action. That Avoidance. Yeah, avoidance. It might make you more standoffish. It doesn't mean you just have to be nasty about anything that you're jealous of, but it might just, it's that it could make you uncomfortable I think that women are often jealous of like other women's appearance. Like freedom, other women's freedom. Yes. Like their time. Yes. And again, that's something I'm very jealous of right now. And this is something that sometimes you make up in your own head. Yes.'cause you're comparing your own internal struggle. So the low of the low. And you're comparing it to what which is the high of the high always. And that's what comparison is. Yep. Always. So when you compare, it's can be a little dangerous at times. Unless you know for a fact that you're comparing like two equal things. Yeah. Apples to apples. I think sometimes people compare relationships if they see like a very lovey-dovey couple and they're like, we don't do that. That's so natural too. I'm sure. I think that's a common one. Yeah. I think that people compare money.'Cause money gives you freedom and ease and things like that. You don't necessarily, even what isn't actually even sometimes what people have the truth. If you see like a nice car, you don't know if that's a reflection of what somebody has. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. I'm just saying these are all things that you're seeing. It is, these are the stories that you're telling yourself. Yep. But I think like confidence is something that I could be jealous of when there's like a confident woman.'cause you like aspire to be that. Yep. If you see somebody that's just has an ease about themselves and a presence and doesn't appear to be overthinking oh that is that is something, to me, that is something. Yep, for sure. That is definitely one of mine when I feel like somebody just has a really strong handle on themselves and it's authentic. I'm. Wow. Because I sit and ruminate about all of the things all of the time, and I have anxiety and I overcomplicate everything and compare all of the time. And that's just, I always say that's like my downfall of my personality, but it's a time suck. It is. It's a time suck. Time and energy suck. And I think that time and energy Yep. Are two things that are highly coveted. Yep. So when you feel like you're misusing your time and your energy, like that's just very frustrating. Yeah. Can I tell you another one that like, please Yes. Right now.'Cause I think that there's different points of my life where I've focused on different things, but Totally. Right now mine is like when I see families traveling together, because traveling is such pain, such, oh, I know. We about this last week. Yeah. It's such a pain point for me because it's my own shit. It's my own insecurity and anxiety around traveling. Raja and I used to travel. All the time. Like it was every weekend where we were boop, boop, boop, like all over the place. And I was so comfortable. Once you travel a lot, you're just like very comfortable in that space. And we would travel all over the place. We would be gone for like weeks at a time. Sometimes.'Cause you could both work remote such We could both work remote. You're such a, so you would love to immerse yourself into all the different places. We loved all the adventure. Yeah. We loved the putting content out around traveling. It was just like a passion of both of ours. And then when the pandemic and then having kids came, it like all halted all at once. And so we've really been out of this like travel game for now. It's like an extended period of time. And so when I see families especially comfortable traveling and boop boop, like all over the place and we're here and there's no behind the scenes of what a shit show that normally is. I, it makes me. So angry. Like it makes, I feel this like festering jealousy inside me. Oh. Because I'm like, I wish that we could be doing that. And I know a lot of the reason we're not is because of me, and it's because I'm uncomfortable with the situation and I can't get myself comfortable around traveling with kids because I need too much. I need time alone. I worry about all these things. So it's just something that like gets to me. We were talking about this the other day and you and I was like, Christina, nobody stays in a hotel room for, with their kids for an entire week. I don't know anybody that does that goes on vacation for seven days and stays in a hotel with their little kids. I'm, yeah, like I, I worry that it will be such a disaster. Really. Oh really? And I'm like, no, we've traveled with our kids, we travel with them multiple times a year. We have never flown and gone away with them for more than four or five nights. I'm putting too much pressure on it'cause nobody can handle that. But that's like another unspoken thing. It is. Who can actually, I wanna know who can handle that. I, so for me, when I see it, and it's obviously social media is so travel focused and go here with your kids and all these things. And it's like I travel can be fun. It can be fun for sure. I know. But I know it'll be, and I know that, I know eventually it will be something that we collectively do as a family. But right now with the kids being so small and like we're dealing with like flight connections and weather and all of these. Variables that go into it, I am uncomfortable with it. Yeah. And so I then put a halt to it because when I'm uncomfortable with something I don't hard. I don't, I retreat. Yeah. And then when I see it thrown in my face online about all the possibilities that we could, if I was just more comfortable with it, I get jealous and I get pissed. And so that's just something that I see right now that I'm admitting that kind of gets to me. What gets to you? Oh, we've talked about this before and I don't know if it necessarily gets to me, but I am very jealous of other women that are mothers and have careers because I feel like they have it all. Like I left my career to be a mother, and I have four kids and I love being a mom and I love having that time with them. And I like that. Like they can call me and I can come running. At the same time, I also would love to have a career. Like I want to have it all you. I think it's always, grass is greener, like it always looks like somebody might have it all. But then I'm sure if you had somebody in the seat that was really trying to balance that they would come with their own like slew of jealousies and comparisons, then that's just, I think that's just the nature of being a human being. Yeah. If the grass always appears greener. But what I am not jealous of anymore,'cause I was, when I was younger, is like stuff, yeah. Because when I was younger I would be like, oh, that person has the new bag, or that person got a new car, or that person has a shoe. I honestly could give an F right now if anybody gets a new bag or a shoe or a car. I would be like, that's so awesome for you. Yeah. I feel the same way. I love that you got that. Like I feel the same way, not even an. Ounce of jealousy anymore. Like good for you. Yeah. Get it all. I wonder if that's with age or what. I do feel like that's like something that you release and I keep talking about and emphasis on stuff. Yeah. I still, you can still like stuff, I still like stuff, but I don't, there's no jealousy associated with it anymore. But I do think that sort of does come with age and that's something that I would always hear. As we approach the forties decade Yeah. Which is coming for both of us this year. I feel like people say that, like that's something that like always stuck out to me. Like you care less about stuff and shit and all of that, and I do feel like that weight is just like slowly releasing and you're just like, because that's toxic. Yeah. I think that the biggest thing that I'm shifting into is. I get jealous sometimes of like how people spend their time and when they spend their time efficiently and they're working like smarter rather harder. Not harder, rather harder. I I feel like that's a big thing for me and my husband right now. Is it work smart is efficiency. Yeah. Efficiency. Efficiency. We need to have someone on jealous of other people when they are like efficient and we feel like we're trying to, I be efficient and we're not what I feel like that's something for us.'cause you're saying like you have your own insecurities and then you as a couple have your couple and that is one of ours too. And so I would love to have a conversation with somebody. It doesn't have to be an expert. We don't always, we're not always looking for like experts, but sometimes just people who wanna talk about something like this. I think that's such a big one is like how to work smarter, not harder, just in general. Like I feel like that is just such a good topic that I feel like I need to hear. I know we need to reframe on that. Yeah, we do. So that would be really interesting. But I think this was like a really interesting conversation. I think that I wanna have a separate conversation about jealousy and comparison, because again, we've talked a little bit about those and it's woven into some episodes, but can they creep into the topics though? But I think that we could have one. In its entirety, just about that. So Pippa's, let us know how you want us to reframe an episode like that. I think that something like that could be really cool, but as we're wrapping up now, it's, we're sit sitting here saying it's our 50th episode. We've had 50 pink spotlights. Some of them have been repeats, which we've had to because like, how do you have all these favorite things or I do things to share. I always have lots of favorite things and things to share. What is your pink spotlight? Our pink spotlight is our person, place thing, tip, mantra of the week. That's making life a little bit better. What's yours to share the ct. So I actually, this was from a few weeks ago and I kept forgetting to share. But I started Mahjong. You did? I did. I started Mahjong a few weeks ago. I know you wanted to do that. And that was like my like thing for 2026. You wanted to learn six That I wanted to learn how Mahjong, so I joined a group. Okay. Who we all are learning at the same time. Okay. And it's not like my girlfriend's from home or my mom friends, it's like like more of a random group. And this is like my Mahjong group. Fun. And my good friend and neighbor, Jessica has been playing Mahjong for like 10 years. So I had asked her back in November, can you teach us how to play Mahjong on January 7th or whatever the date was, January 8th, teach us how to play Mahjong. And she was like, yep, I will be there. So she taught us all how to play. And so she like printed out the rules and everybody gets a card. So our card was like the 20, 25 card and we played. So you play four people to a game. It's like a Yeah. You play, it's like a square. So everybody sits around like a square table. Yeah. But we played two people, two aside, while we were like getting, learning it. And I didn't look at my phone once the whole night because you can't I a dream. I was so like, into the game. Yeah. And I had to stay so focused. And it was social, but it wasn't because we were like playing a game. Thinking we were thinking, yeah. And there is, there's a winner, there's a loser. It's fun. Oh, we had some noch out on the table. Fun. Like it was social love. I loved it. It was great. So we're gonna play, we were supposed to play yesterday, but we were rescheduled till next week, so we're gonna play once a month. I love that. And it was like something that I really enjoyed and I look to doing again. I know. And good for you for learning something new. And I feel like we're just entering into this it's very chic to have like this, like playing cards. Like I feel like we're going back to this like phoneless time, right? I love it. Where it's I love it. Yeah. Socializing I know we were talking about like 90 summer. I am looking forward to retirement in Naples. Yes. Okay. I'm just setting myself up for that it's like that retirement life, like we have that Yeah, I learned how to play pickle ball. I love it. Yeah. Mahjong, what else do I need to do to love it? Set myself up for retirement. Good for you. I love that. That is so fun. And that was on your list, so I like that you actually went and did it. That fun. So it's a really fun game and I know it's. Trending now. Like a lot of people are doing it. Or maybe it's just like my algorithm. So I think it'll be fun. I actually saw this like pool float version of it. Oh. I was like, so then you could do it in the pool. Oh my God. We have to do it in the pool this summer. So fun. Do mahjong in the pool. So fun. So anyways, that's my love, my spotlight for the week, girls. Oh, I love that. So mine this week. So I did miss the girls trip. This. I know. We were sad to miss you. It was quick though. I know. It was quick. It was quick and it was cold. And it wasn't the same without you. I know. I missed it. But Raja and I had tickets to Dancing with the Stars, which was so much fun. I'm so glad that we went. It was, tell me everything. So Dancing With the Stars on tour, it was at Mohegan Sun. It just kicked off. So if Dancing With Stars is coming near you, it is worth. Every penny to go. It is so fun. It was a like two hour show. It was wow. Jam packed it. The all of the pros were there. Danielle Official was actually the kind of Mc of the night.'cause they have like different celebrities that are going through the tour. So you should look up if it's playing near you, then go. But then there's gonna be different celebrities that have, that were on this season part of the tour. So it was just, was Mark Ballast there? He wasn't, but I think that people come in and out. But I did get to see like a ton of my favorite pros. It was literally amazing. And because you know's my favorite. I know he's one of my favorites too. So it was really fun. We had such a good night, and we did end up staying at Mohegan Sun, which was really nice. So we had a nice night away from the kids. I slept nine hours with my mouth tape from, which was my pink spotlight from last week. I slept nine hours. I cannot even. Tell you the last time I slept that much, never. Probably I feel like I barely sleep that in like multiple days. But the next day we were still at Mohegan Sun and so we did a little shopping and I have my pink smile. Oh wait, is this the coach purse? Yes. I saw your I saw your, oh, that's beautiful. We all know that I am a designer bag girl. I love designer bags and I've always thought that they were like a really great investment because I think that you can have them forever and and wear them, and it really elevates everything, however. I'm in a new era of my life, right? Where it's I love those pieces, but I think that right now those pieces are for moments of my life, they're not, for every day. There has been so many times that I've had like a nice bag. I had like my Goyard tote, which I've had for five years, like literally like milk spilled in it. I'm like sitting there trying to be like, oh, I can blend the two lives together. And then it's like I'm literally ruining things that I have because it's just not that time of my life. And so I wanted like a nice cream everyday bag, which I know is it's like it's a cream bag, but I did not, I was not willing to spend a lot of money on it. But you wanted to have an elevated everyday I, but I wanted an elevated one and I didn't want it to just be some like random bag that I got because I know I like, like to gravitate towards pieces that I get excited about and like I wanna wear it. So I saw this bag in Coach and I saw it online actually. Like I think I was targeted for it, but then I saw it in person and I. Walked right up to it. It like, it's a, for those of you who are not watching it is like a cream, puffy quilted flap bag with a brass and cream chain. It is just beautiful. It gives a lot of Chanel vibes to me, but like obviously a fraction of the price. So I'm like looking at it, I'm like, oh my God, this was, this is like so similar. And the Cs are like it for me. Quiett luxury vibe. It's vibes.'Cause it's not even like an overwhelming No. And there's no like logo. Yes. It's just a C, like C the C is still looks like a class. It does. So it's it is very, like for Christina. I know. So coach, I feel like for me, like millennial I feel like Coach Wristlet, hello Col. Like coach was it like I, I had my coach Wristlet, my coach, little like card holder in college that I used to keep like my student, the little bad and with the little tiny strap, like I feel like Coach was it. And I feel back to this, like very nostalgic vibe. I feel I'm like, now I see Coach and I'm like, oh. And like they are having a moment again. When I walked in that store, and it's been so long since I've actually been, it was packed and there I could have probably purchased like 10 bags. Like the, there were so many bags that were all like super trendy. Yes. But I feel like this one had a lot. This was a good one. Yes. This was at Mohegan Sun. This was at Mohegan Sun. So I ended up buying this bag. Raja thought it was going to at least be triple or quadruple the price. Like he could not, but he was like, wow, like that. It's that beautiful. It's really pretty in person. So I ended up grabbing it and I ended up getting it like embossed too, like the little tag, because they had that there. They did it right there on the site. Yeah, they did it right there. And I just am you obsessed. I love it and it's, I feel like it's, I love it so much. Beautiful. And I had like people coming up to me in the store, Christina, it's a 10. It's a 10. Such a good find, and so I'm gonna link it any other colors? So they have multiple other colors. They had brown, black, I think a camel color. They also had all of these beautiful sue bags. I was no, I'm thinking like ahead. But there was these beautiful like suede sling bags, like they just had, I was like. Wow. Are we are like in a new era of coach whoever came in here, I need to like research this because I'm like, so you know who's in there, is a millennial probably who's yeah. Let's get it back. Because I was just very impressed. Like with the quality of everything that coach is having a moment. Yes. One of our really good friends, Jesse is a buyer. Yep. And she told us, she's been saying this she's like a trend forecaster and she's been saying this for probably only almost about a year. Yeah. She was like, coach is trending girls. Yes. You need to jump on the coach bandwagon. Yes. And it's like real leather and the quality is, it's good stuff. It's good stuff. And I literally was thinking to myself like, I have looked on Amazon. It's a double flat bag. It's a double flat bag. Yeah. I've looked on Amazon and Amazon things are like a couple hundred dollars for nothing. Everything is. Now. Yeah. That's a beautiful piece. But this is actually like something that you feel like you can still invest in, but you're not investing. It's not like you're spending designer money, but you're feeling like you're getting something elevated. And I feel like that is just very me right now. Like that message is I love it. Love. We wanna elevate basic. I love fun story. I don't you love, I like have a fun night away with your husband and then you have something to show for know. And I think about this prize. Yes. I it's a little prize from my night. And it was, yeah. It's like I like associating something with a memory. Yes. Like it's oh, I got this when we did that. Yeah. I love that. And yeah, that's I had to share this because it's just so fun. I'm very helpful. I still have my coach bracelet from college. Me too. I had my car keys. It's like a tanish green color. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yep. That like signature color. I had the patchy one. Like I had the one where there was like all the different Cs. Now I wanna go. I know. I love it. Coach. You can sponsor this podcast. You always have good finds. Thank you. So thank you guys for being with us four 50 episodes. I, again, we are just so thankful and blessed for all of you. We appreciate all of your support and this has been a fun ride. And cheers to 50 more. I know. Cheers to 50 more. And thank you for watching all of our clips on Instagram and resharing them. We're having a lot of fun with the Instagram clips. We are. We are. I feel like it's like a playful way to connect with the community. Yeah. Come hang out with us on Instagram. We're at Pretty and Pink again, and we will see you guys next week. We have some really great guests lined up for the next month and into the spring, so yeah. Cheers. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Bye.