OK Bud!
Ben Kissel, Jerii Aquino and Kyle Ploof bring you the top news of the week and let you know that everything's gonna be OK Bud!
OK Bud!
Episode 46: The State of Georgia vs. Heaven
From a mysterious pigeon abduction conspiracy to a medical breakthrough in fertility treatment, this episode takes you on a wild journey through some of the strangest news stories you've likely never heard.
We kick things off with a listener email describing an elaborate underground operation where pigeons are allegedly lured with treats over weeks before being captured and transported to Pennsylvania for live skeet shooting. Is it urban legend or disturbing reality? The debate is just getting started.
Diving deeper, we explore the latest developments in the Brian Koberger murder case, where his own criminal justice thesis about avoiding evidence at crime scenes might become his undoing. The irony isn't lost on us as we break down how his academic work eerily mirrors the methodology of his alleged crimes.
The absurdity continues with Billy McFarland's attempts to launch Fyre Festival 2 despite his previous disaster and mental health diagnosis, Jessica Simpson's unconventional beauty secret involving snake semen, and the groundbreaking story of the world's first sperm-making stem cell transplant. We also tackle a Florida man's urine-flinging revenge on a store that rejected his job application, a Colorado town's controversial pet ownership limits, and the complex moral questions raised by a prison inmate who targeted convicted child predators.
Throughout it all, we maintain our signature blend of shock, humor, and occasional moral questioning that keeps our listeners coming back for more. Whether you're a true crime enthusiast, a medical curiosity seeker, or someone who simply enjoys the absurd side of humanity, this episode delivers something for everyone.
Send us your strangest news stories at okbudpod@gmail.com or check out our Patreon at patreon.com/diebud to watch episodes live and join the conversation.
Hey, what's up everyone. Welcome to OK Bud, the podcast where everything's gonna be OK Bud. I am Ben Kissel. At Ben Kissel, one joined by Jerry Aquino. Hi, at Miss underscore, jerry. That's J-E-R-I-I and Kyle Plouffe. Hey, at Kyle Plouffe. Check out our Patreon, patreoncom slash diebud. You can watch every episode live and comment. Also, shoot us an email. Okbudpod at gmailcom, please. And that is where we start today. Email Email. Nice, this comes in from Pat. Okay, it's Pat. Hello, pat. The title is Pigeon Abduction Conspiracy.
Speaker 2:Ooh, yes, I'm listening.
Speaker 1:He says hey, ben, hey Jerry, hey, kyle, long-time listener loving the show. Thank you so much for your kind words. He says hey, ben, hey, jerry, hey, kyle, long-time listener loving the show. Thank you so much for your kind words. He says for some context, my company provides many services to the New York City Parks Department. On this particular day I was assigned as a site inspector for a crew doing street planting. So they were doing street tree planting. Okay, thank you for what you do. That's lovely, he says. My role was to monitor their work, so proper planting practices were followed, and to ensure the highest likelihood of the survival of these baby trees. Nice, so that's good. So I do like that. Pat is admitting he wasn't actually doing anything.
Speaker 2:He was watching.
Speaker 1:He's the overseer Keeping an eye out. Okay, thank you, pat, for that. This meant I was standing around a lot, as I was professionally standing, which I do love that. I love that this guy comes up to me and asks are you getting rid of the trees? Surprisingly that someone would think that, or that's surprisingly common that people think that. After I explained what we were doing, the conversation took a turn.
Speaker 1:A turn. Yes, the man proceeded to go on a tirade about quote the underground pigeon abduction racket. Whoa, what? Yes, the underground pigeon abduction racket, he says. Apparently there's a whole black market around this. What they do is they put bait out early in the morning, between 3 and 5 am, when everyone else is naturally asleep, unless you're an alcoholic or someone who works in janitorial services. They use breadcrumbs, rice and other pigeon treats at strategic street corners and they do it over the course of a few weeks to get the pigeons complacent. Once they've earned the pigeons' trust, they come in with a big tarp or a big net, they catch them all and throw them in a van where they drive them to Pennsylvania and use them for live skeet shooting. Whoa, for live. What shooting live?
Speaker 2:skeet shooting. Whoa For live, what shooting.
Speaker 1:Skeet shooting, skate, skate, skate. It's like when you shoot with, it's like a shotgun type gun they shoot cum.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what it is. Yes, that's what I thought it was Pigeon bukkake.
Speaker 1:They're not coming on the pigeons, they're shooting them.
Speaker 3:Oh, even better, or worse.
Speaker 1:Yes, this is like surviving the pigeon game.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's crazy. Also, I don't know, I don't know how much I you know, I want to hear the letter, I want to finish it.
Speaker 1:No, that's it, that's it, yeah, he says isn't that just terrible?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's pretty awful.
Speaker 1:That's what he says.
Speaker 2:It's weird for me, as a New York allowed themselves to get caught.
Speaker 1:The pigeon is again this took weeks.
Speaker 2:They're gangsters.
Speaker 1:They are gangsters. They're smart. I have a respect for the pigeon. I was pooped on by a pigeon and I looked up at him and I said you got me good, yep, same here. But next time I'm going to poop on you Really. Yeah, I've tried to poop on every pigeon I've ever seen, since You've got afraid of heights. Right, I don't like to climb, so I can't shit on the pigeons.
Speaker 2:I see the dilemma.
Speaker 1:And then I want to thank Pat. He also sent us a picture of his adorable dog, which I will, of course, post on my Instagram. I thought you were going to say that he's A picture of him shooting a bunch of penguins.
Speaker 2:A pile of dead pigeons and he's like and I found where they, I found the landing spot where they all go.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that's absolutely fascinating that's insane.
Speaker 2:Is that? Is it true?
Speaker 1:it's. It comes in from a loyal listener.
Speaker 2:Yeah no, I know, but well, he was doing his job. And then he said that someone walked up to him and said this story yeah, after he asked him if you were removing the trees and it is someone who came up to a random person in New York and just randomly told them a very dark, cryptic thing. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know either.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go with. I want it to be true. So it is Actually. You know what? I don't want it to be true, Never mind.
Speaker 2:Do you want it to be true?
Speaker 1:I respect the New York City Pigeon, although again they have angered a lot of people. People call them flying rats, so yeah, that's what they do.
Speaker 2:They stand around in their Timbs in the park and then they poop on people.
Speaker 1:They really do, but sometimes they poop on your enemy and you say, pigeon, you are the best today. Yes, I love you. Well, speaking of murder, let's do an update on a much more serious murder, because this involves four students from Moscow, idaho.
Speaker 1:Let's do a small update on Brian Koberger so obviously, as we know, brian Koberger, the man accused of killing these four students he was a criminal justice student and apparently he wrote an entire article for one of his exams for his level 300 criminal justice course, and the entire premise of this article was not leaving evidence behind, which is ironic, because he failed that test miserably, if that sheath of the knife is truly his. So he wrote this in 2020 during finals, and he discusses what it takes in order to cover your tracks. Now people who are in the criminal justice world say this isn't looking good for him and we'll see if this is admissible in court. So this is according to Joseph Giccoloni. Joseph Giccoloni, he says prosecutors are going to talk about this when they bring up the lack of forensic evidence left by the killer. So this is what Brian Koberger wrote in his thesis. He says wear gloves to protect the scene from contamination. This will enable that I interestingly enough, he uses the word I that I avoid leaving my latent fingerprint.
Speaker 2:That's so dumb you couldn't even say the sentence with you. Right, it's an easy, like grammar decision to make.
Speaker 1:So the detective says they're going to say look how much he knew about this. He talks about fiber-free clothing. He does.
Speaker 3:Yes, because that's what he ordered on Amazon, is that right? Yeah, he ordered fiber-free coveralls.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:Oh he's fucked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's fucked.
Speaker 1:If this is admissible. I'm not sure if this is going to be in the court case or not.
Speaker 2:I don't know if the jury it's so annoying if they're like we can't look at this, why wouldn't it be admissible?
Speaker 1:Because it was a 2020 thesis that he wrote. I don't know. I mean, is this evidence or is this just a person trying to pass a criminal justice class Because I mean not for nothing.
Speaker 2:There are I mean, there's so much I can see in a criminal justice college a bunch of, like you know, jerk off dudes are like I know how to pull off the perfect crime. It's obvious, this is how you do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what they talk about at lunch.
Speaker 2:They're just like yeah, I feel like dudes are always doing that anyway, right.
Speaker 1:Well, women, they are the ones who know how to pull off the perfect crimes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they're not talking about it out loud because they're not dumb.
Speaker 1:No, they diary about it. Yeah, that's true, they keep documents. So, according to the article that was written by Koberger, he says protective clothing, boot covers, eyewear, fiber-free overalls, face masks, hairnets, gowns and anything that will prevent me once again me from contaminating the scene with the things I bring with me, that's insane.
Speaker 2:He sounds insane.
Speaker 1:So he really does put himself in the killer's shoes for the sake of this project.
Speaker 2:He's like no, I'm the murderer.
Speaker 1:So, according to Diccoloni, he says this is not helpful for him, the same way that he talks about this, the same way he talks about this fictitious cop, about not leaving evidence behind. So perhaps he's speaking in, he's speaking from the perspective of this character that he created, which turns out to be a fictitious cop. So he says the same way he talks about this fictitious cop, about not leaving evidence behind, we might have a little insight into how, or at least an answer about the lack of forensic evidence left behind. The lack of forensic evidence left behind, we shall see. He goes on to say he doesn't mention it by name, but Locard's exchange principle, the theory of transfer between all evidence. He does talk about the transfer of evidence a number of times throughout this paper.
Speaker 2:Transfer of evidence.
Speaker 1:Yes, which I had never heard that Locard's exchange principle, which sounds like it belongs at a pawn shop somewhere. Lastly, he says this is a quote from the article that Koberger wrote Again thesis. He says crimes of passion are rooted in emotionality and impulsivity. In this case, we can likely count on there being latent fingerprints on the doorknob and all over the knife and victim. Wow, we shall.
Speaker 2:So technically, they're going to find no fingerprints on any of the doorknobs.
Speaker 1:Well, remember, the only fingerprints they found were of other people, I believe, other than the sheath from the knife. Yeah, yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they went through his Amazon stuff. He ordered a K-Bar knife that matches exactly what they were looking for.
Speaker 1:So lazy, by the way.
Speaker 3:The sheath, everything, everything on fucking.
Speaker 2:Amazon. On Amazon you didn't want to go to like a mom and pop shop, pay cash.
Speaker 3:Amazon, and then he went to Walmart, which is also the most.
Speaker 2:Come on, dude, like all of this shit has a paper trail.
Speaker 3:Kept track of. Yeah, he's got his debit card on it, his name's on it and everything. It's like you, dumb fuck.
Speaker 2:You missed that part in your thesis. Cash Pay in cash, that's very true.
Speaker 1:Also, mr Kohlberger, think globally, act locally. Yeah, I know, seriously, there's someone sitting there being like Barb we're going to have to shut the doors if no one comes in here and buys a k-bar knife right now. He could have saved a family business while killing four other, destroying four other families.
Speaker 2:That ain't the merchant's fault.
Speaker 1:Well, that's him acting locally, yeah, that would be him acting. He's thinking globally when he's like I gotta get to uruguay, yeah. Lastly, he says surveillance footage is circumstantial evidence but may lead investigators in the right direction and to the apprehension of the suspect, which is also interesting that Koberger wrote that, because that's basically what happened in his case with his white car.
Speaker 2:He's so, so fucked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's really.
Speaker 2:He basically just laid out his plan. Yeah, it's a blueprint for exactly what he ended up doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And they can connect it to different points in his murdering journey. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a blueprint for exactly what he ended up doing. Yeah, and they can connect it to different points in his murdering journey.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I said, going back to all the weapons he bought online, Online.
Speaker 3:Online and he was on a running app where he would be tracked and show his progress. He was running through their neighborhood all the time Running app.
Speaker 2:Oh my God.
Speaker 1:So lame Gicoloni, when it comes to Koberger's paper that he wrote for one of the classes, again he says he'd probably give it a B. He didn't even give it an A. I mean, you've got to give the guy at least a B+. He did it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, he got caught, but he also failed yeah.
Speaker 1:No, that's true so did he get 100%?
Speaker 2:No, no that's true.
Speaker 3:Yeah, everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face.
Speaker 1:That's very true, and he does have a very punchable face.
Speaker 2:Yeah, incredibly so.
Speaker 1:And maybe we should just start investigating the criminal minds of people who are in the criminal justice departments at all of our local universities.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, yeah, they have. They have all of the information. It's just like with people that get into therapy. It doesn't mean that they're necessarily like really good about their own mental health, it's just that they want to. They want to get to know about the root cause of why they're fucked up. Exactly so they're all nuts Also.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of therapy. I have two friends who became therapists and they were both from the improv comedy community, which actually might be a great skill. Set you just, yes, and everyone into not committing suicide.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I guess so.
Speaker 1:All right, Well, speaking of psychotic people and mental illness. Small update on Fyre Festival 2.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God that is not happening.
Speaker 1:It's not happening. Specifically on the mental state of Billy McFarland. He is being called mentally ill, delusional, and this is his lawyer says that he believes he has special talents. Oh no, nothing has bared fruit. Nothing in any Any of his past has made me think this guy's got Some special talent.
Speaker 2:He's got some special yeah, even if he did Successfully throw the party.
Speaker 1:Which is really All he wants to do.
Speaker 2:What's the talent?
Speaker 1:I don't know finding talent, but he's only found Antonio Brown, the former psychotic football player so far.
Speaker 3:I am jealous of his confidence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but are you?
Speaker 3:he did time. Yeah, he's so confident he went to prison he went to prison and then he came out of prison.
Speaker 1:He's like let's do that again. Yeah, Run it back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and isn't that just psychopathy in itself? Just trying to do something over and over again, trying to get different results?
Speaker 1:It really is. So. Fyre Festival 2, it's now been moved to a different location and, much like the first location, the second location is like we have no idea.
Speaker 2:It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1:They're like they filed no paperwork. We have no clue what's going to happen, and all of this is supposed to take place in less than two months. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Wow, he really thinks that he can just say things and it's fine.
Speaker 1:He just snaps his finger and it happens. I don't know.
Speaker 2:But it didn't last time it didn't.
Speaker 1:No, it was really bad. Yeah, so we shall see as this continues. On psychologist identified as dr cheryl paradis. She evaluated billy's mental health and its relation to, and his and its relationship to, the offense conduct. This is according to a court filing. She says it paints a powerful picture of the impact that billy's mental health issues have had on his conduct. They, they say diagnostic tests he scores strongly indicated that he suffers from unspecific bipolar-related disorder.
Speaker 2:Yeah, interesting.
Speaker 1:That's what they say about Kanye West as well. Yeah, extreme mania.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So why is all we do is cover people with bipolar? Now, are these the stars?
Speaker 2:of modern era.
Speaker 3:Pretty much I guess so.
Speaker 2:So now he's like ah, it's always someone crazy, that's a genius. And then they like to roll with that and they're like I'm a genius.
Speaker 1:And then that falls into.
Speaker 2:But I would say that falls into like schizophrenic episodes, where they like fall into like delusions of grandeur, periods of time where they think they can throw this amazing festival that they have no paperwork for, that no one else knows about, but they're trying to make it sound like a very real thing.
Speaker 1:And, as I've said before, I blame Wayne's World 2 for trying to launch Waynestock, because in real life it doesn't work. According to the psychologists, they say that McFarlane's behavior is partly due, or fueled, rather fueled by a substantial pattern of severe alcohol abuse, perhaps a form of self-medication for his bipolar-related disorder. Oh man, anyway, as it goes on, obviously this thing is not going to happen. If you did buy a ticket, you're probably doing it for a local news station to see how it goes, because I saw that actually happening, where they bought a 1400 ticket. Oh my god, they're like, let's see. And there's no email they received, there's no confirmation they received.
Speaker 3:the entire thing is a scam you at least gotta get another wet sandwich that's my favorite.
Speaker 2:So no, that was so, so gross to even see.
Speaker 3:Yeah, with like Kraft singles, not even actual cheese.
Speaker 2:Just like thrown onto it.
Speaker 1:But we all do admit a little schadenfreude. It was like all the prettiest models in the world. I'm going to go and have the time of my life.
Speaker 2:That is kind of funny yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but then they got really bad sandwiches. I was like that didn't even Jimmy Jones, that's kind of funny. This, I was like that didn't mean Jimmy Jones, that's kind of funny. This man couldn't even get you Jimmy Jones.
Speaker 3:Couldn't even get you free smells.
Speaker 1:But I'm starting to have just a. I have the smallest amount of sympathy because truly he is so obviously sick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it sounds like he needs like some serious help. He needs to stay hospitalized.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's the people around him that I'm concerned about Does he have anyone.
Speaker 1:Who.
Speaker 2:Who is like, allowing him to like, continue forth and say like, yes, let's get you in front of a television, let's get you in front of Instagram. Talk about this party. You're going to throw.
Speaker 1:But that's the thing with that disorder it is compelling television. Oh, it's like when. Kanye just gave that interview to what? Was it academics or something where he wears the black clans outfit and you're like what the fuck am? I watching I thought he looked like a prisoner at abu grabe. Yeah, someone just pointed at his penis, um, but it is just it.
Speaker 3:You can't look away no, it's a train wreck right slow motion, but uh yeah, it's gonna be fun up until the end and he still says it's going on, but I I really can't imagine it does hopefully no one actually buys the tickets this time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hopefully that one journalist I saw, who did buy the ticket, is forced to go and report live. That's what I want to see.
Speaker 2:It's in the middle of like a random island. It's like I don't think anyone came.
Speaker 1:No one seems to be here. I got a beach ball. I put a fucking face on it and played my name and sex with it. Yep, ever see Fucking face on it and playing her name and sex with it? Yep, you ever see that movie with Tom Hanks? I'm getting good on Tom Hanks. It was a beautiful film man. Yeah, it was a beautiful cast away.
Speaker 2:Don't be homophobic to Wilson.
Speaker 1:Oh is he? I guess it is a boy isn't it?
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, Wilson.
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe a testicular cancer. Just one nut left, one ball Also. I do blame fame, I blame Hollywood, I blame For Wilson, not for. Wilson, he's innocent. He's a volleyball. He was when people had to go outside to play.
Speaker 3:Wilson is a product of Hollywood.
Speaker 2:Wilson is a product of Hollywood.
Speaker 1:That is true, that is true, but no. The mental illness that goes with chasing infamy, yes, and also, when you are in the limelight for too long, I think it does rot your brain, and I'm talking about Jessica Simpson here.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:Yes, she's not as stupid as that reality show made her out to be no, no Chicken of the sea.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:We all know it. We all know that was a farce and she was doing that with the guy from 98 Degrees she was being silly, nick Lachey, who now is a new wife and hosts.
Speaker 2:Love is Blind for seasons and seasons. At this point, he does. Him and his wife. Yeah, they host. Love is Blind. They're like on season, like eight at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no kidding. Yeah Well, jessica Simpson, she looks lovely. And why does she look lovely? Apparently, she's sucking and sipping on snake cum. Wow, it's the cum from snakes that's making her look good.
Speaker 2:What is that? What Wait, I don't know. This wasn't a play on, like talking about her ex.
Speaker 1:No. So she does this whole thing where she's walking through LAX and then someone's like, hey, you look really good. And she's like, yeah, that's because I've been chugging down a bunch of snake cum.
Speaker 2:Is that verbatim? Did she say that I've been chugging down a bunch of snake cum?
Speaker 1:No, but she says she's chugging down a Chinese herb cocktail that again contains snake semen. So she is using the word chugging. Well, that's just. I would assume that she chugs it because you don't want to taste it. You got to shut your eyes, you got to chug real fast.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe it's like a shot.
Speaker 3:Okay, maybe she shoots it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:How many snakes is she jerking off?
Speaker 2:Enough to chug, enough to gurgle.
Speaker 1:That's somebody else's job.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, what a gig. I got a snake. Greg, Can you milk?
Speaker 2:Oh, my God Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, toby, you've got the smallest hands here.
Speaker 2:You've got to jerk off the snakes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, damn it. I knew I shouldn't have been born with one little little little hand. My hand's so little I've got to jerk off all the snakes. Yes, that's your job. So she says that she's been sucking down the snake cum and it's been really helping her feel good. It helps her feel healthy and it seems to be working. So anyway, there you go. Wow, if you want to be a celebrity, just go to your backyard, find yourself your local python, jerk it off. Maybe you'll find a soulmate along the process.
Speaker 2:and you'll feel good. Maybe you'll be like a little garden snake. Yes, yes, I feel like that's got to be good for your face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just rub it all over your face there. Yeah, kyle, can you search how much snake cum is going for?
Speaker 3:uh, yes, right now. I just looked up how big a snake penis is, oh great and they said up to 1.2 inches long, up to what are you irish average? How expensive is snake sperm, although I will say, if you saw a snake with a 1.2 inch penis, I'd be like that's pretty good, healthy penis uh ai overview says there's no readily available market or price for snake sperm, so it's not something you can purchase or sell and therefore it's not expensive in the traditional sense it's not expensive in the traditional sense.
Speaker 1:In like the barter sense.
Speaker 2:But if you really fucking want it.
Speaker 3:I guess you can get it anywhere, it's just going to cost you your dignity.
Speaker 1:I recommend going to a local Petco. Get out of here, Toby. We told you you're not allowed back.
Speaker 3:Taking all these snakes to the bathroom.
Speaker 1:Just comes back with a gallon of milk.
Speaker 2:That's not milk A gallon, it's probably like a little bottle the snake's dehydrated Smiling. Just relaxed and asleep.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Happy Snake Land. How do you keep them so happy? You don't want to know.
Speaker 2:It's a volunteer program we have.
Speaker 3:Why is his skin coming off again?
Speaker 1:Don't commit the crime unless you want to do the time. Buddy, that's your third DUI. You're on snake milking business. You're on that duty now, my friend. It's court-ordered snake milking.
Speaker 2:All right, but hear me out. Would you pay for a $450 parking ticket or would you jerk off a couple of community service snakes for a couple hours?
Speaker 1:I guess I would jerk off the snakes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'd do that.
Speaker 1:I don't know how you would arouse it. What does that?
Speaker 2:even mean, that's just like you, just pinky it a little bit in the one area that it seems to have an opening that's not its face.
Speaker 1:I thought it was more of a cloaca. A what A cloaca. Like a weird thing. Kyle, can you search how to arouse a snake?
Speaker 3:sexually. What are snakes into? Yeah, is it like a BDSM?
Speaker 1:thing. I know they're into choking, that's for certain, and obviously some venom play.
Speaker 2:They're into hissing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they love their hissing, they love sentryles and tongue flicking.
Speaker 1:Oh you gotta use your tongue. Oh my god, I so technically. Even if you have little hands, it doesn't matter. You want a guy with the biggest tongue.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, they're all just a bunch of lesbians get gene simmons on this yeah they're licking.
Speaker 3:Oh god, that's so gross they gross, they like a good chin rub.
Speaker 1:How dare you?
Speaker 2:They're just fat in Western Ben yes that's all that we want. Chin rub.
Speaker 3:Nice little gullet rub.
Speaker 1:Went to go get my beard shaved, came all over the place. No Well, let's stay in the world of Spunk.
Speaker 2:Why not?
Speaker 1:A man has received the world's first sperm transplant.
Speaker 2:Ew get off me no.
Speaker 3:Then that's not his sperm. It's not his.
Speaker 1:What's going on? Those are his stepkids. He's in his early 20s. He received the world's first sperm-making stem cell transplant. So, it will be his. I gotcha. They just put the battery back in his taint. They did.
Speaker 2:It sounds like they planted seeds in him.
Speaker 1:Well, apparently his cock wasn't, there was some problem with it. So they got the sperm cells in or not the sperm cells, the stem cells in there. So then it activated that part of the body and then now it makes a bunch of spunk. So the name of this diagnosis is azuspermia Azuspermia Azuspermia A-Z-O-O spermia.
Speaker 2:Azuspermia.
Speaker 1:Azuspermia, and it's a condition that makes no sperm to be present in the ejaculate Shootin' blanks. Oh shit, which is all I guess. It's very viscous-y, probably very clear. So this happened to him because he had childhood cancer. Oh, and he went through.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, that's so sad.
Speaker 1:He went through chemo. Yes, he went through chemo and the chemo was like I'll kill the cancer, but also I'll kill your kids. We're going to kill yes, exactly, your future swimming children. Yeah, so apparently, azuspermia affects roughly 645,000 men just in the US, wow, wow, between the ages 25 to 50, where's why are we talking about that?
Speaker 3:Why are we talking about that? Why are we talking about that?
Speaker 2:Our barren men, your barren men? Well, because if we try to do anything to fix it, you're going to be all like ew, get off my body. It's my choice.
Speaker 1:That's a good point.
Speaker 2:I'll control my shit.
Speaker 1:Solid point.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So doctors implanted the man's own stem cells which were harvested and frozen during his childhood. Interesting stem cells which were harvested and frozen during his childhood Interesting, yes, I'm sorry. Before. Rather, he underwent chemotherapy. So they were like buddy, we got to juice you.
Speaker 3:And this is it. We know you're seven.
Speaker 2:Yes, what the fuck.
Speaker 1:I don't want to know. Oh my God, I don't want to know how that happened. Yeah, jesus Christ. Yeah, I don't want to know how that happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, jesus Christ, that's. Yeah. I don't want to know how that happened either.
Speaker 1:Because I wasn't. You know, usually you have to hit the puberty before you can get the sperm. Also.
Speaker 2:I don't know how the sperm count works in men Like you. Guys are born with like 47 billion.
Speaker 1:Oh, unlimited.
Speaker 2:And then every day you just get a new 47 billion.
Speaker 1:Unlimited.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's fun.
Speaker 1:Good for you guys, it's pretty sick. It's pretty sick. It's like playing a first-person shooter on Easy.
Speaker 2:That's great. Yeah, I see that. I see that. Yeah, you know, girls, they just start with one finite number of eggs and then they just start dropping off as you go on in life.
Speaker 3:It's insane. Yeah, we get constant reloads.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you get constant reloads. We have to work with like 50.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you have your artillery.
Speaker 2:They're like good luck.
Speaker 1:Do they know how many you have, can they?
Speaker 3:count, I think 300,000.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think they can count 300,000 is a lot. Yeah, but they fall off a lot by like a lot.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's not just one each period.
Speaker 2:No, no, it was just one egg drop that period. Yeah, yeah, that's what we are we're chickens. We're just dropping literal eggs into the toilet.
Speaker 3:Oh. Average number is between one and two million Of female eggs inside of a woman. Yeah, it's by the time she reaches puberty. Typically she has around 300 to 500,000 remaining puberty.
Speaker 2:Typically she has around 300 to 500 000 remaining. So see how much they fuck they drop when you're like a teenager you're doing cartwheels on the in the sandbox and they're flying out.
Speaker 1:Yep one falls into a dude's drink, he's like I didn't know, I got boba tea and then, by the time you're in your 20s, you're down to like 100.
Speaker 2:And then, by the time you're in your 20s, you're down to like 100. And then, by the time you're in your 30s, they're like you want to save your last two For an omelet. We'll just throw those in a freezer for you, just in case.
Speaker 1:So the doctors use the sperm-forming stem cells which are present in the testes at birth, and then they later mature into sperm, and then that happens during puberty.
Speaker 2:That's what I thought. So they just took a giant needle syringe to his balls and then pulled out.
Speaker 1:At a very young age. This poor child, you're not supposed to have to deal with this, well you know.
Speaker 2:But good for him it seems to have to deal with this Well you know.
Speaker 1:But good for him. It seems to have worked. Ultrasounds have confirmed his hormone levels have not had any damage to them and going forward the doctors will analyze a sample of his semen twice a year. Wow, oh that's nice. Taste test they said yes to see if it contains sperm cells.
Speaker 2:Ew, stop tasting, yeah Stop drinking.
Speaker 1:Stop tasting. Yeah, Stop drinking. The evidence ploof One more taste, please. According to Justice, according to Dr Justin Hooman. He says, if refined and proven safe, spermatogenal stem cell transplantation could be a revolutionary fertility restoring technique for men who have lost the ability to have a dose.
Speaker 2:Just for that one sentence. Can I see that sentence?
Speaker 1:You want to see that sentence? What?
Speaker 2:the hell happened. I feel, like you had a stroke.
Speaker 1:I feel like I did too. This guy's going to have a good stroke. Spermatogenial, Spermatogenial.
Speaker 2:Stem cell transplantation.
Speaker 1:There we go, thank you.
Speaker 2:What the heck.
Speaker 1:We're all smart. Look at you all smart.
Speaker 2:Just you know, cum swapping. Just call it what it is. Call it what it is. We're just trying to pull it out before it gets killed and then we'll put it back in later. And we tried it and it worked.
Speaker 1:Revolutionary. Revolutionary is what's happening here and because of this, if you are a young man who is going to have some issues with your spunk, you can do this before they go away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say that it sounds. At first I was thinking like why would he want to in his like early 20s or mid 20s, however old he is to try to fix this problem when it sounds like he's kind of scot-free for a young man to just run around? But I guess if it's shoot in blanks then maybe he has some splaining to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe he's not a self-centered, egotistical entertainer like us and you want to have a family and live a normal life? Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess that sounded absolutely blasphemous to me, but he's just a young 27. He's not ready for a family. Yeah, I guess that sounded absolutely blasphemous to me. I was like but he's just a young 27. He's not ready for a family. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Well, it tends to be when it all happens. So, anyway, if you are someone out there struggling, your prayers have been answered and get ready to be a father.
Speaker 3:Yeah, jeff said let's combine stories and get it with snake sperm in his testicles.
Speaker 1:Oh Whoa. Fight the reptilians with our own version of reptilian. Yes.
Speaker 2:Half snake, half man person I love that.
Speaker 3:I think that's how our politicians were born.
Speaker 1:Yes, definitely they weren't born, my friend, they were hatched oh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, with pee-pees up to 1.2 inches.
Speaker 1:I guarantee you that's large. That's why they hate humankind. I would love to know the average length of the penis of the men of Congress. Would I Wait? Did I say that? Probably the same. Did I say that? Imagine Ted Cruz's little fucking dick.
Speaker 2:I don't want Moving on. We don't want people to be. Imagine Ted Cruz's little fucking dick, nope.
Speaker 1:Moving on, moving on. We don't want people to be disgusted and turned off the show. I won't do it, let's talk about piss. Oh, that's good.
Speaker 2:Anything but that.
Speaker 1:Anything but that Everyone loves a good urine story and we are in for a good time here. Okay, A Florida man? He, of course. Ah yes, a Florida man, he, of course was arrested after he allegedly flung multiple bottles of his urine inside a molding supplier store. He struck at least one employee. So why did he do this? Because he was denied a job there.
Speaker 3:Eat my piss, wow, wow.
Speaker 1:So this is the guy. His name is John Connington, he's 51 years old. He threw bottles of his own urine at the store and at an employee because they did not hire him, which?
Speaker 2:makes a lot of sense, real mature guy.
Speaker 1:He seems fucking psycho.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I also want to point out that they didn't hire him because anyone any guesses he smelled like piss.
Speaker 2:No, Because he.
Speaker 1:Go obvious.
Speaker 2:He'd been to jail.
Speaker 1:Registered sex offender. Oh, I thought I'd give you the clues.
Speaker 2:Wow Wait Florida.
Speaker 1:Obvious.
Speaker 2:Registered sex offender. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was the Doerrs, molding and More in St Petersburg, florida. It's a beautiful place, the home of Hulk Hogan.
Speaker 2:It really is. That's hilarious, yes.
Speaker 1:It caused more than $1,000 worth of damages because apparently the piss just like went all over the place. And it's a what Molding supply store yes, it's a molding and doors and more store, oh wow, he fucked up a lot of shit.
Speaker 3:And I think we found out what the more is.
Speaker 1:Piss. You have any of those piss screens? Oh no. So, he chucked multiple bottles.
Speaker 2:How much did he have to drink to get multiple bottles of his piss?
Speaker 1:And how quickly did he fill it up?
Speaker 2:I know, and at no point during any of these pissing in the bottles, was he like. Is this maybe not the way to express how to show them that they made a mistake for not hiring me?
Speaker 1:I mean technically, it's an improvement from him going in there and diddling all of them. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I guess so yeah.
Speaker 1:So maybe he's like look at this judge. Can we at least acknowledge the growth that yes, I threw piss at them, but at no point did I finger pop their buttholes?
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so come on, come on. Community service, come on.
Speaker 3:Cut me some slack, you're guilty.
Speaker 1:Here's a piss. So, yes, how do you get that in here? You don't want to know. So he poured the contents throughout the store, including all the merchandise. So this must be a cool store. They got merch. They have merch. At some point we have to get merch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have got to get merch, we will. It cannot be trucker hats. Okay, no trucker hats.
Speaker 1:That's fine. So he has an extensive criminal history, including lewd and laspicious exhibition, and apparently that all became uncovered during the interview process. So then they were like no, we can't do all that here, Get out of here. The last thing we want any sex pest working with is doors knowing how to open and close them.
Speaker 2:Lock them. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Attack your next victim.
Speaker 2:I know, and then asking for and then the interview he's just like. So how much bathroom time am I allowed? How many bathroom breaks am I allowed in a shit?
Speaker 1:Can I eat lunch on the toilet? That would be kind of fun. Sometimes I eat in the toilet. I'm talking about that. That's gross, kind of fun. No, I sometimes eat in the toilet, I'm talking about that, though that's gross Kind of a whole process. It's sad.
Speaker 2:It's like when you drink water and pee at the same time. Yeah, you're a full circuit. Yeah, well, it also. It just makes first of all. Why would you want your current food to smell like you're exiting food?
Speaker 1:You don't know what I mean. It might make it. No, that's not true. So he went in and he splashed urine all over employees' bare legs. So employees, they were wearing shorts, cool company.
Speaker 2:Okay, first of all, you shouldn't be wearing shorts, I agree. I agree, have some professionalism.
Speaker 1:It is Florida, it's St Petersburg, it's hot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's actually super true. You know, and then the manager looks down and is like you know what? I fucking told them that we shouldn't be so lenient on the uniform. What's behind the doors?
Speaker 3:Casual Tuesday.
Speaker 1:Casual Tuesday. He then fled on foot and then one of the piss victims he started running after him. Piss victim yes, you don't pee on me, I'll pee on you, I won't pee on you. And then at one point Coddington raised a skateboard in the air as if he was going to swing at the victim. So I guess he had a. Did he have a fucking skateboard with him? The whole?
Speaker 2:time Did he roll in and then just like, pull out like a satchel of like bottles and start throwing them?
Speaker 1:His biggest crime has been a 51 year old with a skateboard.
Speaker 2:Yes, there is this guy's a little cornball, start throwing them.
Speaker 1:His biggest crime has been a 51-year-old with a skateboard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, seriously, this guy's a little cornball.
Speaker 1:Like in yoga pants. Why he was eventually apprehended, charged with felony battery, criminal mischief, which sounds cute.
Speaker 2:Criminal. I mean, it is pretty on par.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it just sounds like you steal all the blueberries out of a pie.
Speaker 2:It sounds like you threw a bunch of bottles of piss. Yeah, that's criminal mischief right there. Remember the dude that was just leaving bottles of piss everywhere. Do you think it's this guy?
Speaker 1:No, as a matter of fact, there is a small update on that. If you want to search that Kyle, I think they call him Piss Bandit.
Speaker 2:The Piss Bandit the Piss.
Speaker 3:Bandit yes, oh yeah, the Pasadena Piss Bandit yes, he was-.
Speaker 2:Did he donate a couple of bottles to the-.
Speaker 1:To the cause. Yeah, he was also charged with what seems to be a more serious offense, which is aggravated assault. Ooh.
Speaker 2:So yes, he punched his pee.
Speaker 1:Apparently this isn't super uncommon. Uh, apparently this isn't super uncommon. In oregon, a mysterious uh person, lar, left large gallons of jug and urine throughout his neighborhood, which I believe may be the piss band.
Speaker 2:Oh, isn't super uncommon it's not.
Speaker 1:I mean I guess people, you know, everyone's got piss that's one thing we all have.
Speaker 2:I've I've never put my piss in a bottle. I can understand if you're like on a really long road trip, especially if you you're a dude. You guys have that option?
Speaker 1:Oh, of course, yeah, naturally.
Speaker 2:That's fine, that's functional, but I can't think of a reason why I would ever need to do that.
Speaker 1:You know if you could have piss in a bottle?
Speaker 2:I'll just be 67 years old going to the doctor with my bottles. For reference, I'll just be 67 years old going to the doctor with my bottles for reference Be like look doctor, I ate this and it looks like this. But then when I eat this, it looks like this.
Speaker 3:And it all smells like this. Have you tried?
Speaker 1:pineapple have you tried the pineapple? Women do complain a lot about the urination situation between men and women, but it's not that great. I mean it's fine. Yeah, we get to piss standing up. Yeah, but like so much other stuff sucks yeah.
Speaker 2:We, we have like the spray method.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And we can. We can really like open up the hose and make it go.
Speaker 1:You can also get a lot of money. You paid for people to watch, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, also that.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, the Oregonian that, yeah well the oregonian piss bandit could be pano man oregon oh, one of our own he says I know nothing that'd be great if one of y'all did something.
Speaker 1:Make the show, get the show out there, all right. Well, last episode, speaking of piss, we talked about a city ordinance that was aggravated, but we didn't really discuss it because we talked about the gravedigger who threw the baby's casket. Oh yeah, I know, the baby went flying Everyone's like it's Superman. So a Colorado city this is the same Colorado that in Denver has the robot dog. So that state has fallen apart.
Speaker 2:That's a lot over there.
Speaker 1:A Colorado city plans to seize residents' cats and dogs in a bid to lower the number of animals.
Speaker 3:That's insane.
Speaker 1:Allowed in a private household.
Speaker 2:No way Seizing.
Speaker 1:Yes, and the number of animals is four. Okay, but when you actually think about, like I got one dog right. Next thing, you know, I got two dogs. Oh, we adopted a lizard, you know. And the next thing there's a cat in the house. Yeah, yeah, it's not up to the city, for I don't what, do you think? I'm just a little bit like overreach.
Speaker 3:What are you going to do? You gonna do with my?
Speaker 1:you're gonna kill my fucking dog like they killed that squirrel in new york, like pita did when they stole a chihuahua off someone's porch and then they killed them themselves. Oh no, it's the town of north glen. It's 40 minutes away from denver. Residents are not going to be allowed to have more than four cats, four dogs or a combination of the two. Totally no more than four. Two dogs and two cats is not that much.
Speaker 3:No, that's not crazy at all, especially in the middle of the country and Colorado.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of space.
Speaker 3:It's a lot of space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's crazy and then also, what if your dog has a little baby? And then all of a sudden you've got to be like I'm going to take care of that baby.
Speaker 3:Yeah you've get a litter and they're like bang bang bang, bang, bang, bang bang.
Speaker 2:They just shoot the litter.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, now it sounds like it's a combination of dogs and cats, so lizards and things like that, birds, would they count?
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't. They seem to be focusing on dogs and cats, which are like the domesticated animals that you would think wouldn't be a problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know people, they don't actually domesticate their animals a lot of the time, so there's sometimes maybe. Well then, deal with that person.
Speaker 1:Yes, Don't make a blanket law.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, totally.
Speaker 1:They say the restriction was introduced by concerned residents. The most annoying residents.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, People that make the noise complaints constantly Exactly the most annoying residents People that make the noise complaints constantly.
Speaker 1:Exactly, they were like we need, so they complained about excessive noise and waste caused by a high number of pets in some neighborhoods.
Speaker 2:Oh my God. And then they're walking their dogs and they're like, oh, can't they just pick up their own stuff? And it like bothers them for the entire day.
Speaker 3:Well, it is annoying when people don't pick up their dog, of course. It's rude Of course, of course it's rude.
Speaker 1:Of course, of course. But if they have one or five, they're not picking up any of them, exactly right. So they say any residents who currently own more pets than allowed can apply for a previously owned pet exception. This is before the ordinance comes into effect. If the application is filled out before that date, north Glen citizens will be allowed to keep their existing pets.
Speaker 3:Ah, they're grand doggied in, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Just let them keep their pets.
Speaker 1:We can't let these HOAs win no.
Speaker 2:So I've had these dogs for the last 12 years and now I have to apply to keep my dogs.
Speaker 1:What a pain in the ass.
Speaker 2:That's annoying as hell to keep my dogs. What a pain in the ass.
Speaker 1:That's annoying as hell. So if the locals don't disclose the information, then the law enforcement will take action, which includes quote a potential court order requiring pet removal.
Speaker 3:You are housing kitties under your floorboard, correct? Oh my God, don't do that. Oh no, no, oh my God, Don't do that.
Speaker 2:Oh no, You're like no.
Speaker 3:Oh God.
Speaker 1:We never should have named our cat Anne Frank. Yeah, this is what the city said. They said our goal is to work with residents to ensure compliance through education and outreach before any enforcement action is taken. I hate this. Yeah, it's awful and I just hate it on principle.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's the actual town. It's not an HOA. It's like the town is acting as the HOA. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1:It is ridiculous. I don't like it. Does anyone like this? It's OK, bud Pod at gmailcom.
Speaker 3:Yeah, stick up for this.
Speaker 1:I mean, of course, if there's a hoarder house and all the cats are dying and suffering. Yes, take care of it yeah. Address the issue, but I just can't imagine this is the biggest problem facing the people of North Glen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're in a recession To the point where there needs to be like something made into law, to go into effect about this, because it's most likely, like every neighborhood you know usually has that one crazy old lady or old man that just has entirely too many animals that you can tell they're not really taking care of them, but they're friends, they look after each other, but then, yeah, they're all over the place. They're maddy, there are poops everywhere.
Speaker 1:That's the circle of life, because when that person dies from the same thing that Gene Hackman's wife died from, then those animals eat it, yeah, and then they get euthanized and they all die. Oh well, so that's going to happen.
Speaker 2:That is going to happen. That's probably the reason. That's probably like the one main house of concern.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't fit into the look of North Glen. Colorado Residents were pretty upset, mm Colorado Residents were pretty upset. One person says I guess North Glen is slowly progressing into becoming Russia. Oh my God, yeah, since soon we'll only be able to have a certain number of pets, just like Mother Russia, yeah.
Speaker 2:Four animals. What is this? North Korea.
Speaker 1:One person says what's next? You can only have one TV and one car in one household.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, conserve that energy.
Speaker 1:First they came for the cats I said nothing. Then they came for the dogs, and I said nothing. Then they came for my Mazda and I said nothing, because I wanted a new car anyway. Another person said no way, no way, nothing, because I wanted a new car anyway. Another person said no way, no way, no way.
Speaker 2:So a lot of people are upset. No way, Jose.
Speaker 1:And if I'm local there the local every pothole I would go and I would be like you didn't fix that pothole. Why is that stop sign broken? Do the things that you're supposed to do. City council.
Speaker 2:Yeah, seriously.
Speaker 1:Leave our fucking animals alone. Yeah, anyway, that is a law taking effect any day now in North Glen Colorado, so if you live there, it's actually going to take effect? Yeah, they passed it. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:That's insane.
Speaker 1:You got to hide your fucking dogs and you better make sure you don't have chihuahuas, because they don't stay quiet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not going to give it a hide. Take your quietest animals and hide them.
Speaker 1:You Take your quietest animals and hide them. You have to. Yeah, which is probably also the best cuddle animals. Yeah, definitely. All right, poor guys.
Speaker 3:It is sad.
Speaker 1:Well, speaking of things that are interesting, in Arizona Prisoner, this guy is serving 16 life sentences. Oh, wow, yeah, that's a lot right. And he's serving all these life sentences because he had this massive. He had a massive role in a prison mutiny in 2004. He had a prison standoff and then he had a whole complicated history of violence before that. Wow, it's crazy, because he killed three people in prison you know, oh, wow, yeah, so he just killed three people, so his name is Gang affiliated stuff.
Speaker 1:Yes, I don't know. I think it's because they may have been what they call Chomos child monsters. Oh my God, His name is Ricky Wassenaar. I've never heard that before. A Chomo.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what they say on all the shows. I'm just trying to regurgitate what cool prison slang is because I don't want to know in real life. I hear you Me too. Ricky Wassenaar, who sounds like a race car driver that only drives all wrong. He is accused of killing Saul Alvarez, thorne Harnage and Donald Lashley. Wassenaener is the only suspect in the incident and they say he acted with the intent to harm. But why? Elvarez was behind bars in Maricopa County for murder, hanich was a convicted sex offender of a minor and Lashley was serving a sentence for child molestation. Well, there you go.
Speaker 1:So we don't give butt of the week out to killers.
Speaker 2:No, no, no exceptions.
Speaker 1:But he did kill all three of these guys. I guess, if you're serving a 16-term life sentence, what's the difference?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're going to start doing some good in the world. You're not even allowed to die free. No, not at. Yeah, you're going to start doing some good in the world. You're not even allowed to die free. No, not at all, you're going to start on your next sentence.
Speaker 1:I do wonder. It's like is that possible? I don't think the post-life cares about the US legal system. I don't think so. If you go up and then whatever God you have, they're just like sorry. Judge Strickland said you got 15 more life sentences.
Speaker 2:Sorry, it's the state of Georgia, not me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the state of Georgia versus heaven. They win. They have precedent. I don't know I'm gone, but that's a judge. So Wassiner again. He's serving 16 life sentences for a role that he played in this prison standoff. He and another man were convicted of taking two guards hostage for 15 days.
Speaker 2:Wow, they kept him for 15 days. Wow, they had their own room or something.
Speaker 1:They had a full two weeks and one day Wow. That's longer than most relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So they were held hostage at the Lewis Prison Complex in Buckeye, Arizona. It was the longest prison hostage situation in history.
Speaker 2:Way to go Breaking records Crazy right. That's very impressive.
Speaker 1:Wassener allegedly used a kitchen guard's uniform to trick another guard into letting him into a prison watchtower. Wow, that's on the guard I mean it's a little Bugs Bunny dressing in a dress and then everybody's like I want to have sex with him now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, he obtained a uniform by overpowering an officer with a handmade weapon. Then Wassernar was moved to a prison in Florence after Friday's inmate's death. So basically in 2004, he got into the uniform, took this prison guard hostage for 15 days and another dude, and then, 21 years later, he killed three horrible people. So I don't know, maybe it offsets.
Speaker 2:Hey, yeah, I don't know, maybe that cancels itself out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what a life that's that dude's life, yeah.
Speaker 2:He keeps it interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the whole story, Okay.
Speaker 3:It's the Grim Reaper for chomos. I like it yeah.
Speaker 2:I guess, so Chomos beware.
Speaker 1:I suppose. So yeah, well, you know stay safe I don't know, I guess so.
Speaker 1:And speaking of being careful, let's see. Do we want to do a story about a roof collapse, or do we want to talk about, let's see, this guy. He lit a hotel on fire while he was trying to make drugs. That's not very fun. I mean Not very fun at all. You know, a store plunge Two boys, 14 and 16. This is an interesting story. So there was two boys. Did you guys see this? It went viral. They took these big ass couches they're on the third floor of the Westfield Shopping Center. They took these big ass chairs and they threw them off. Well Right, but they didn't hit anyone. But they are teenagers, so reckless they cannot be named for legal reasons.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:They've been charged with criminal damage with the intent to endanger life. This is the video of him doing it. This is a picture of the video of him doing it, as you can see, wait is that inflatable? No, it's like one of those like oh my God, my wife's still shopping. I've got to sit down and relax type chairs right.
Speaker 1:And they show the footage of them launching this chair, and it damn near hits two people. The boys are aged 14 and 16. They were recently arrested and now it looks like they're facing some very serious charges.
Speaker 2:Why All they were up to was some criminal mischief.
Speaker 1:Oh, he just missed people. He. Just that's the thing. These kids are actually very, very lucky that he did not kill anyone. Yeah, it reminds me of that movie Sleepers, where the children accidentally threw I believe it was a popcorn machine down a flight of stairs and it killed a woman. And then they had to go to a jail and in the jail there was a priest and he molested all of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and kevin bacon too shit yeah, and then at the very end they killed the priest and my brothers brought, brought me to that to see that movie in the movie theater and, and it was so traumatic, yeah, they throw it. It's super heavy yeah, that looked heavy it was such a traumatic experience for me. And then I went home and I started crying and my parents said why are you crying? I said I watched this movie sleepers. And then they got mad at me because it was r-rated and I didn't bring myself.
Speaker 1:No, wow. And I went to catholic school, so I was just waiting to get molested, but it never happened. Oh, me too. So they will appear in court very soon. It'll be youth court. It comes after the horrifying footage. So it's the moment a reckless youth hurls a large seat from the third floor, nearly killing two unaware shoppers below. That's insane. Wow, I don't want to die that way. That's a dumb way to fucking die.
Speaker 3:That would be so embarrassing Get hit with a mall. Ottoman.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's also like what are the odds of you? It's like when you see those shark attacks across America and there's that one red dot in the middle of the ocean yeah, like shark attacks across America and there's that one red dot in the middle of the ocean and you're like you know what I'm saying, or like whatever. In that case it would be on land like shark attacks across the world. And then one is like in the middle, Idaho. You're like where the fuck is that? In this case, no one goes to malls anymore. Right, Like no one's at malls.
Speaker 3:Yeah, back in the 90s someone like 10 people would have got killed. Oh, in the 80s this would have taken out 50 people. That would be a mass incident.
Speaker 1:It may have actually just sort of crowd surfed on everyone's puffy hair Facts. So the young man he was wearing a gray jumper and a black tracksuit bottom he struggles to pick up a heavy blue four-seater and finally launched it over the glass barrier. As he picks it up, the boy recording says there's no way this guy's gonna do it. And then he did it. And then the boy's like, oh my god.
Speaker 2:It was a dare.
Speaker 1:Was it a dare? Or was that kid actually like no way, you're gonna do that and risk my entire life? I guess he did so. 14 and 16 Dangerous ages. I'm scared of them. Criminal mischief. Criminal mischief Not involving piss yeah, so the seat lands just inches from one shopper. What a fucking nightmare. Yeah, the culprits then turn around and they sprint and they're laughing. They were laughing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's because they saw no one get hurt.
Speaker 1:Oh, do you think they even saw the final splashdown? Even saw the final splashdown? That's true? I don't know. And then one video was shared on Snapchat and it's written no way, bro, almost killed someone, nah, so they had a little fun with it.
Speaker 2:Geez, oh, that's nice, isn't that nice? Oh, that's very nice.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, speaking of nice, another fantastic episode. Yes, let's get to some comments. Do we have any comments from our wonderful chat?
Speaker 3:Lori's saying when she was a kid, someone threw a rock off the highway and someone died. Every class in town got lectured.
Speaker 1:Yes, there was another scandal about that. What did they throw, I forget. I want to say it was like a cinder block or something Killed a bunch of people. Wow, yeah, you got gotta be very careful. Yeah, don't do it. Just it's that.
Speaker 3:That's not even about being careful, yeah that's about just like don't go out of your way. Yeah, that was a guy. He was driving with his family, his wife was on the side and his uh baby was in the seat in the back, and a cinder block came through, crushed his chest and he died in front of his family.
Speaker 1:Oh my god holy shit, I don't want him down that way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's bad uh people are not digging the uh pets being able to be taken away no, it's ridiculous, yeah, um and so that's the only thing.
Speaker 1:Also, if you have more than four pets, that's like your life, yeah yeah, your kids are gone.
Speaker 2:Those that's your, those are your kids you know your husband's dead.
Speaker 3:You're a widow? Yeah, everyone's saying they would buy. Ok, bud and Die merch.
Speaker 2:Great, let's go yes.
Speaker 1:I love it. We'll have to get hooked up with a great merch company. Yes A lot of fun things happening. Also, we're getting close to settling on a theatrical space. We want to start doing a monthly show where we'll just recap the craziest stories of the week or of the month, rather, and just have fun with each other.
Speaker 2:Just have fun with each other. Just have fun with it. Play with yourselves, oh hey.
Speaker 1:That'll get you in trouble. What are you talking about? I'm just trying to jerk off the snake. I nicknamed my dick Snake, all right, that would be my nickname. I nickname my dicks Nick, hey, all right, that would be my nickname. I got to stop talking, okay, everyone, thank you so much for listening. Hail yourself.
Speaker 2:We'll talk to you soon, bye, bye.