1 Timothy 3 Discussion

The fastest way to damage a church is to put the wrong people in charge, even if they look gifted. We open 1 Timothy 3 and let Scripture set the standard for church leadership qualifications, then we get honest about how “normal life” exposes what’s real: self-control, humility, sobriety, gentleness, and integrity that holds up under stress.

We spend time on one loaded line about the home. Should a leader “manage” his household, or “rule” it? That translation choice changes the picture from mere administration to presiding, protecting, and taking responsibility. Paul’s logic is simple and unsettling: the home is the training ground for caring for God’s church, and a lack of maturity makes leaders easy targets for pride and spiritual attack.

Then we tackle deacons, the difference between an office and the general call to serve, and why the New Testament can honor women like Phoebe while still drawing clear boundaries around authoritative teaching roles. We close with the surprising heart of the chapter: the “mystery of godliness” is Christ himself, a creed-like confession that ties real holiness to the incarnation, resurrection, and ascension, and a reminder that the church must stay a pillar and buttress of truth.

If you care about biblical leadership, pastoral ministry, and building a healthy church without drifting from Scripture, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who serves in ministry, and leave a review with the takeaway you’re still thinking about.

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Transcript

Pastor Plek 0:10

And

Welcome And Chapter Overview

Pastor Plek 0:11

welcome back to a chapter day. Keeps the devil away. I'm Pastor Pleck, that's Pastor Holland. We're talking First Timothy chapter three. We're gonna outline it, we're gonna observe it, we're gonna interpret it, and then apply it so that you can be fully equipped to engage your world where you live, work, and play with the love of Jesus Christ today. So verses one through seven of chapter three talk about the qualification of overseers, aka elders. Then verses eight through thirteen talk about the qualifications for deacons, aka verses eight through thirteen. Then we got the purpose uh of the instructions in verses fourteen and fifteen. Then you got the mystery of godliness, that is verse 16. All right, let's get right into

Elder Qualifications And Realistic Standards

Pastor Plek 0:52

it. What do you observe here? High standards for the overseers. Well, are they high? I think they're high. You know, it feels like this is also just basic qualifications of a Christian. This is just what Christians do. This is what Christians should do. Okay, fair enough. Yeah. Like, hey, your role is just to be a functional human. I mean, is that too much? Is that is that over the top? Well, go on. What do you mean? Well, okay. I mean, basic Christianity is like, hey, if you're all of these qualifications, like don't be a don't be a liar. Okay. I mean, you know, be respectable, be self-controlled, be temperate. Uh, okay, able teacher, that that actually that's challenging. Don't be drunk, don't be violent. Uh be you know, gentle, not contention, like there all of these things seem to be like if you were raised in a normal way, like this is how you would act. Or is that me just kind of being pretentious about like here's what functional people do and say and live?

Manage Versus Rule At Home

Pastor Holland 2:04

Uh yeah, I mean, there's nothing crazy. It's not like uh it's not crazy, but it's um I I think the one that says yeah, ESV, he must manage his own household well. I I do not like that translation. I got it. I'm an ESV hater right here.

Pastor Plek 2:18

Uh-oh. Ladies and gentlemen, we have an ESV hater. I think I know what you like. You want rule.

Pastor Holland 2:24

Rule is the better word. Uh-huh. We don't like the word rule today. We think ruling is bad, but ruling is the is the better translation.

Pastor Plek 2:33

I'm gonna give you the KJV just for you. One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.

Pastor Holland 2:41

Gravity is also better there. Um what's the ESV say there? Uh oh, with all dignity. So those are just different, those are just different words. They're connected etymologically. Like there's a range of meaning where I don't think the ESV is like horrible, but manage and dignity, I think, are inferior to rule and gravity.

Pastor Plek 3:00

Yeah, because you don't necessarily think of maybe a middle management person as a right. That's not what an elder is supposed to be. That guy just tells instructions from higher to lower and kind of moves on. But as someone who rules has the responsibility of ruling. And yeah, and lead even saying leading sometimes could be like, because you can lead from 360 degree, 360 degree leadership, lead from uh a submissive place of like influence.

Pastor Holland 3:25

Influence, yeah. Leadership is influence, but ruling is authority, headship, responsibility.

Pastor Plek 3:31

I think you're right. What's the Greek word for this? I think that might be helpful to kind of what is our Greek word for rule?

Pastor Holland 3:38

Um see if I can pull it up. The the reason I think this one is is a high standard here is this is saying you you have to have proven yourself to be a functional house ruler, that you have a household where your children are believers, they love you, your wife, you know, you're a good, faithful husband. Um, you run your house in a way that is like that man can lead a church. Right. I that's the whole point of it. He says if someone does not know how to manage or rule his own household, how will he care for God's church? Ruling a church um uh in as a pastor is essentially a big household, right? You're overseeing um the development of everybody that's a member of the church, their spiritual development. Um so anyway, that's where I say that one's a high standard.

Pastor Plek 4:26

Yeah, the the Greek word here is prostenae, uh, which the the way that's where we get the word preside over. Uh so it and it kind of just means to set or place before to set over, to be over, superintend, preside over, to be a protector or guardian. See, um also to give aid, to give attention, profess honest occupations, but I think that's uh interesting. So essentially it's to preside over something, right? Um okay. All right, I'm I'm down with that. Uh, what other observations you

New Converts And The Pride Trap

Pastor Plek 4:56

got here? How about not a recent convert? Which I appreciate that.

Pastor Holland 4:59

Yeah. Um, you need some some time. Uh and it says why. If you are a recent convert, you may become puffed up. Over time, you know, you learn uh that you're not as awesome as you as you thought you were when you first got saved. It's like the people who, you know, right before you get married, like I was like this. I was like, I'm gonna be the best husband, I'm gonna do this and this and this. And then you get married and you're like, man, I have anger problems that I didn't know I was gonna have. I have pay I'm way more impatient than I realized. And you never know how selfish you are until you get married. Yeah, and then until you have kids.

Pastor Plek 5:34

I I always said you never know how selfish you are until you get married, but you never know how generous you can be until you have children. Because I look, listen, I'm not I love you, huh? But I'm not getting up at three in the morning to go and change your diaper. There you go. Yeah. I think that's where it's like there it forces in you to kind of love beyond. Anyway, uh what about this though? Speaking of children, he must manage his own household well and keep his children in control without losing his dignity. Uh that's the net Bible of translation. ESV says what uh he must keep with all dignity keeping his children submissive. What does that mean that an elder must have children?

Must An Elder Have Kids

Pastor Holland 6:14

Uh here, let me give you this is John Chris Austin. Okay, from like the second century or third century. Uh yeah. Um he says Paul is not making a hard and fast rule that a bishop must have a wife, but that he must not have more than one. He says that about the husband of one wife. Right.

Pastor Plek 6:33

So so you're saying he might be going like not allowing polygamy, not for it necessarily, but saying, hey, listen, no polygamist shall be elders.

Pastor Holland 6:42

Yeah, you can't you but I mean John Chris Austin's point is saying that you don't have to be married, but if if you are married, it has to just be one. Okay. And so he's saying I I think the expectation is that um um that elders would be married men at fathers, but John Chris Austin leaves ru room for you know an exception of someone who may be a single man, but um uh yeah, typically, and if you were married too, you would have children. This is before there's like birth control. And you know, if you're married, it's gonna happen. Within nine months of your wedding, you'd be having kids most of the time. Um yeah, what do you think about I think that should be the norm. Right. Um he gives the reason that you you essentially prove your capabilities by managing your own household well. And so absolutely. Yeah.

Pastor Plek 7:34

Um, yeah, and so if you don't manage your household well, then you probably shouldn't be an elder. Yeah. Um okay, what about um deacons?

Deacons Phoebe And Deaconess Roles

Pastor Plek 7:45

So deacons. Oh sorry, the the the thing we have, elders are men, right? Yeah. And the big thing that I see here that is emphasized is that they are able to teach, and that's the part where and and other parts where And rule. And rule to to teach and rule. Uh but that's why elders are men, uh, right? What about deacons though? Because remember, Phoebe, when he writes in Romans 16, she is a deacon. Uh, but then here, deacons are is it do you think he changed his mind here, or do you think this is just a general thing of deacons, or do you think that uh Romans 16 was just like Phoebe was just a servant, not a deacon, even though the word's the same.

Pastor Holland 8:29

Yeah, yeah. Um, so a couple things on words here. So, like the word elder, that word can just mean um an older guy. Right? Yeah. Um, and Paul Paul says that in uh in chapter 5, 1 Timothy 5, do not rebuke an older man. Um, and he's not talking about uh uh specifically an elder, like the office of elder there. He's talking about older men in general. Um but uh similar with deacon, you can have someone, uh the deacon, the word just means servant. You can have someone who is a servant and someone who is in the office of the deacon, right? And so I think here he lays out these qualifications. Um very straightforward that deacons are men. Um, you know, it says they're wives likewise in verse 11. Um, verse 12, let deacons each be the husband of one wife or a man of one wife. So deacons are men, um, but there are female um servants in the church who you know Paul really seems to honor, want to honor, and mention them by name. And they're specific with a uh it seems like a title to me. Um they're in uh like if you look through some of the like um old uh the church fathers. Yeah, like some of the uh uh church order manuals like um apostolic constitutions and stuff like that in the fourth century. Um they mention um the kind of like um a title of deaconess for women that they say explicitly this is not this is still like the laity, this is not an office, but it's a title to recognize like trustworthy, godly women who could go essentially and like meet with other women in the community so that it wouldn't look um sketchy for like a male deacon going into a single woman's house.

Pastor Plek 10:24

Right. It was someone that the I think that the elders recognized as representative of the like an ambassador of the church for women in a sense, yeah uh that would not that could had a high enough integrity, had high enough all that to to represent uh the work of the church.

Pastor Holland 10:44

Yeah, but it was a non-authoritative role. And so that's something where Paul reserves authority. So again, back in chapter two, uh he says to women's right here and able to teach is elders. Oh, going back to your point, but yeah, teach or exercise authority, he says. So authoritative roles in the church were given to men, um, but they were still um very important and honorable roles.

Pastor Plek 11:06

I think in in those apostolic writings. Well, that I'm gonna be apostolic, but like the early church writings, it was like the big thing was like serving communion to to women. You when you went to their house to serve it to them, it would be kind of weird for a man to do that. And so they want to make sure that they were upright and above reproach. Yeah. Okay. Um I mean that's the stance our church takes. We do have a we we call them deacons just because it's uh we have a female deacon at our church and that with that sort of idea in mind of a someone that represents a church that can operate and uh in in ministry but doesn't have author like authoritative teaching.

Pastor Holland 11:47

Mo most of the time, like when this when that kind of role was established in church history, they just went with deaconess. So to distinguish from deacon being the office, deaconess being a title, but not an office. So um yeah.

Pastor Plek 12:01

Okay. Um, what about the here's something just fascinating to me?

The Mystery Of Godliness Is Christ

Pastor Plek 12:05

Uh this last part where uh the verse 14 and f through 16. I just I hope to come be soon writing these things. If I delay, you may know. And then the mystery of godliness, which I thought was sort of a kind of a like a wild deal. He was because it doesn't feel like godliness. When I think godliness, I think of like holy uh activity, like uh I don't lie, cheat, or steal, that kind of stuff. But godliness here is he refers it to Jesus being manifest in the flesh, vindicated, like given proof and like the spirit working in him, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on the world, taken up a glory. That's all about Jesus. Yeah. What do you think about here? This mystery of godliness, and why that word godliness, because the mystery is that God became a man. That's wild to think about.

Pastor Holland 12:58

Yes, right. And that is the key to our godliness, essentially, is the incarnation, crucifixion, resurrection, ascension of Jesus. And so I think the mystery of godliness is um the God's plan of salvation that is a revealed mystery. Nice. Meaning it's not still mysterious in the sense that we don't know what it is, but it's a mystery in the sense that it was um veiled, you know, for a time, but has now been revealed. Um and yeah, what Christ has done is the um is the source uh that energizes our own godliness.

Pastor Plek 13:34

Yeah. And so do you think this was like a common confession among Christians? Like this was like early creed. Like a creed, right? Yes. Um, which I kind of feel like that would be a cool creed to say. He was manifest in the flesh, vindicated by the spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory.

Pastor Holland 13:51

Yeah, say it in um Greek, it's even cooler.

Self Control And Spiritual Attack Warnings

Pastor Plek 13:56

All right, let's get into some nature of man stuff here. What do you what do you see?

Pastor Holland 14:01

Um the idea of uh, you know, the warnings that he gives here, self-controlled, um, not a drunkard, not quarrelsome. I think this speaks to the um the struggles that men have naturally, right? Um self-control is a big one. Later in 1 Timothy 5, um when he gives um specific instructions, or actually in Titus 2 as well, um he gives in specific instructions and like young men are always charged with like be self-controlled. Yeah. And so I think men need to be aware. We struggle with uh having self-control. That's good.

Pastor Plek 14:40

Uh yeah, I think uh how about we struggle with managing our households well. Yeah. Uh men do. Uh and so that the fact that you can do that is puts you like next level. Um what about uh there's a tendency for for new Christians to fall into the snare of the devil through uh wait, sorry, yeah. Fall into condemnation or being puffed up. Yeah, being puffed up like that, yeah. The snare of the devil would be like not thought of well by outsiders. Oh, no, that is, yeah. He must not be a recent convert where we may be puffed up with conceit and fall into con into the condemnation of the devil. What does that mean? And why specifically new converts?

Pastor Holland 15:25

Um, well, as a new convert, you don't you don't have maturity yet, and so you can overestimate your own abilities or goodness or that kind of thing.

Pastor Plek 15:35

So you get puffed up, and pride is like, you know what usually happens for new believers, they they tend to do a lot of this, and probably I know this because this is how I was, uh, is like you go, look at all the things I'm doing. How come everyone's not doing what I'm doing? And then all of a sudden you become part of condemning others, which is the devil's work.

Pastor Holland 15:51

Oh, okay.

Pastor Plek 15:52

I I I know that's that's obviously I think there's two pieces to it. One where you can be a part of the devil's work, and then also you can put the condemnation on your own self uh through your own hypocrisy.

Pastor Holland 16:03

Yeah, and also I mean, just notice you have two um warnings about the devil here and the elder qualifications. And so just a reminder of the nature of pastoral ministry being um you got a target on your back.

Pastor Plek 16:15

You have, and I know that it sounds so over the top, but it's true. There is a demonic activity that you have to have your life together, the spiritual armor over your family because the devil's coming for you.

Pastor Holland 16:29

Yeah.

Pastor Plek 16:29

And that sounds threatening, but it's true, right?

Pastor Holland 16:32

Yeah, and so these qualifications are, you know, it's for the sake of the pastor, too. Like someone who goes into becoming a pastor, elder, overseer, and their marriage is not strong, and their kids, you know, are their relationship with their kids is a mess, they're not managing their household well. That's just, you know, easy target for safe. Yeah, and to break that family.

Pastor Plek 16:53

All right, let's get into some character of God uh

The Church As Truth’s Pillar

Pastor Plek 16:56

here. Uh, what do you see here? God has standards for his church, yeah.

Pastor Holland 17:01

For the leaders of his church, um, so that those who follow the leaders can, you know, uh be raised up in that example, you know. And so the goal with these a lot of these character qualifications, kind of what you said before, is like, shouldn't all Christians do this stuff? You should. All Christians should, elders must. There you go.

Pastor Plek 17:21

That's a good way to put that. And like, don't put yourself in a position where you're gonna struggle. Yeah. All right, how about just the fact that uh this this confession of the mystery of godless godliness that Jesus took on flesh? Like the Holy Spirit vindicated his ministry through the miracles. Uh angels saw him do all, and I would say angels, it's just messengers, it could be the demons fled, the angels ministered to him, and he's being proclaimed among the nations as the savior of the world. Yeah.

Pastor Holland 17:55

I love too, right before this, the church of the living God is a pillar and buttress of the truth. The moment a church abandons truth to try to be relevant or reach people or grow faster or you know, not offend this group or that group, you cease to be what you're supposed to be. Like if you're not a like a pillar and a buttress of the truth, that's what the church is supposed to be. Love that.

Pastor Plek 18:21

All right, let's get into some uh

Applications Testing And Staying Humble

Pastor Plek 18:23

applications. So sin to avoid, promise to claim, example to follow, command obey, or knowledge to believe. What do you got here?

Pastor Holland 18:30

Um, I really like again these these qualifications for the elders. I'm like, everyone should see these and go, okay, I don't want to be addicted to much wine, right? I don't want to be um a drunkard. I don't want to be someone who mismanages my household. So I think you get a lot of sins to avoid in these qualifications.

Pastor Plek 18:50

And maybe another one simply is don't pursue leadership or sin to avoid pursuing leadership before your character is ready. Yeah, that's good. Um I like that. What about promise to claim um uh that faithful service is gonna lead to spiritual confidence and growth, and then the title then follows that might be a the reality there.

Pastor Holland 19:15

Oh, yeah. You're talking about verse 13. Yeah. Um I I like too, you know, on that note, like aspiring to faithful service in the world. Yeah, that's a good thing. And so like um he says in verse one if anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Like the application for some listening, some you know, men who are uh have considered this, I don't know, just or but maybe like, I don't know if that could be me. Like, really pray. It's like a it's a good thing, he says.

Pastor Plek 19:47

I think there was a time in the past where people are like, if someone aspires to be a leader, that's probably the reason why they shouldn't be.

Pastor Holland 19:54

Yeah, you know but obviously you want someone leading who feels called to it and desires to do that work, right? Um, Peter actually requires, he says you have to do it willingly, not under compulsion. Right. So the will to be an elder is one of the requirements.

Pastor Plek 20:10

How about verse 10? Let them be tested first, yeah, then let them serve. Uh which is sort of a wild deal uh for the deacon, right? You've got to test them, then put them in there, uh, and there they go. Yeah. Um, what else you got? Don't abandon the truth. Don't abandon truth. I love that. Um don't be puffed up. Verse six. Puffed up with conceit. There's a lot of commands to obey. Don't be greedy for dishonest gain. Um I love how about this? They must hold the mist, you must hold the mystery of faith with a clear conscience. Meaning there's gonna be stuff you don't understand

Final Takeaways And Goodbye

Pastor Plek 20:52

fully. And I think in just being like, I'm okay with that, I trust God. Isn't that true? All right. What else? Anything else before we land the plan here?

Pastor Holland 21:01

Hey, that's good.

Pastor Plek 21:02

Hey, thanks so much for joining us. We'll see you next time on a chapter a day.