Behind the Scenes: What's in My Officiating Bag

What does a wedding officiant actually bring to your ceremony? In this celebratory bonus episode marking over 500 listens, I'm unzipping my officiating bag to reveal the essential toolkit that helps me navigate wedding days with confidence and composure.

From the moment I arrive at a venue until the final signature on your marriage license, my trusty black bag (emblazoned with "and so the adventure begins") contains everything I might need to handle any situation. You'll discover why I always pack protein drinks and snacks, how my elaborate binder system preserves memories of every ceremony, and why I carry backup unity elements like hand-fasting cords that have saved the day when last-minute inspiration strikes.

The wedding world is full of surprises - like the Irish grandmother who inspired an unplanned hand-fasting ritual at the rehearsal dinner, or the melted Hershey Kisses that create havoc at the bottom of my bag. I'll share my biggest officiating challenge (correctly identifying townships for marriage licenses) and my dream of creating a specialized app to solve this common problem for wedding professionals.

As my podcast journey continues to evolve alongside my officiating career, I'm grateful for each listener who's joined me since launching in January. Whether you're planning your own wedding, work in the industry, or simply enjoy wedding stories, I hope this peek behind the curtain gives you appreciation for the preparation that goes into making ceremonies appear effortless. What items would you suggest I add to my officiant toolkit? I'd love to hear your thoughts as we continue this adventure together!

Chapters

• 0:04 Celebrating 500 Listens
• 1:42 The Officiating Bag Basics
• 4:12 Binders and Documentation System
• 9:15 Ceremony Tools and Emergency Items
• 14:27 Marriage License Location Challenges
• 21:31 Thank Yous and Future Ideas

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Wedding Ware with officiating by Amanda. Welcome back to the Wedding, where this is bonus episode. I am so excited that we are able to do this, and do this as quickly as we've been able to, so I started the show January 20th. The first episode went out and since then we've had over 500 listens across states, countries. All the episodes have been loved, some loved more than others. Shout out to you prison bra. And so I wanted to bring a bonus episode to being. Thank you to everyone following Officiating by Amanda on Facebook. This is where the poll originated that asked you know what kind of bonus you'd like to see, and so today I'm presenting to you what's in my officiating bag, and I've got it right next to me, so I'll actually be digging through it. I will maybe include some pictures so we can find them in, you know, facebook, a couple other places, but I'm really just so excited to have had so many of you on this journey with me.

Speaker 1: 1:42

So I'm kind of like a bag lady. I have a lot of crap and I need the means to carry it along with me, and when I typically show up at weddings, I have my officiating bag, I have my big bulky purse upon purses and, depending on where I'm coming from or where I'm going to next, I often have an overnight bag. Change of clothes, something keep me busy or occupied, especially right now we are my husband and I are in the midst of moving I don't think it will impact anything. Podcast wise, I'm trying to to not have it do that. And you know, I never know what house I'm going to be sleeping out of, whether it's my parents, his parents, our house, new house, a friend's house, a hotel room. So always having a change of clothes, toiletries, everything, just it, makes a lot of sense these days, but I don't want to be the bagged lady walking into a wedding, so I just take in my officiating bag, I pull out my wallet, my car keys, my phone. Those are the only three things from my normal bag, my purse, that come in to my officiating bag for each and every time.

Speaker 1: 3:10

And my officiating bag is black. It was actually a gift from one of my friends, actually, when I got engaged and I knew right away oh, new officiating bag, hooray. My old one had been like a rose gold bottom and canvas and it started to show some stains and wear and tear. So I retired that one out and I now have this gorgeous black one with silver writing on the front that says and so the adventure begins, incredibly fitting for weddings. Even my husband knows that it is my officiating bag. I love it. So I've just picked it up. You hear the rustling.

Speaker 1: 3:53

It's me going through the bag and I have to clean out like every three or four months because I get a wide collection of blood in here that I have no clue where it came from. But what is in my officiating bag? So we got some personal care items. We have hair ties because I need them and I always lose them. So I try to maintain like two or three in the bag at all times. Simple makeup elements like two or three in the bag at all times. Simple makeup elements lipstick, mascara. I'm not a big makeup girl, but every now and again I just winter weddings.

Speaker 1: 4:33

I feel very pale. I need just a little spruce protein water, some snacks small, nothing crazy. I'm not bringing cases, I'm bringing a protein water. I and bringing a bag of jerky. Just gotta, gotta keep that energy up and going. Bring a celsius. Yep, that's been. That's been key and critical. I don't want to get too jittery ahead of a wedding, which is where protein waters are often often good. Plus, I'm normally walking into a situation after you know, just mere half an hour to 15 to 5 minutes before the ceremony starts, a lot of the food and drink has already been cleaned up from the get ready rooms and spaces, and so the number of times that I've been at a loss at finding water because, again, it's been cleaned up, they have to turn over the room as soon as the ceremony's over or something like that, like it's just easier for me to bring my own and have that handy. For whatever it is, I could need little little pack of like some Advil, some stomach acid, a reliever, just little things, not too too much. If I'm having a specific problem on any given day, you know, pack it in separate. But normally that's what I've got for me.

Speaker 1: 6:00

I have a binder. I actually have two binders, so one binder is my scripts, my printed scripts. I've really worked to try to switch to being electronic and have my scripts on Kindle and not have to print them out every single time. But if the couple's reading their own vows, I've got the vows in the script. If we are going to a destination that does not really have good Wi-Fi service or there's any sort of concerns like that. You know it's next to water. I won't bring the Kindle. Instead I will print out the sheets and the binder has laminated pages like 40 of them. I did have a bride once comment that my binder was too heavy, so I try to go through every now and again and debulk it. So that's the one binder. The second binder is my 2025 binder. So the first couple sheets are some of the samples of readings I have for expos, cash and grab when I go.

Speaker 1: 7:05

It's a nice binder to kind of like put out on those tables, but then all the rest of the pages are blank and as I get the signed portion of the marriage certificate that I'm keeping for each of the weddings, they go in there as well as any thank you card or place card or just anything program that might have my name on it or the couple's name and their date. Any little memento I can kind of grab goes in there. It's kind of my record of services, but also pseudo scrapbook At some point if I find myself again in a unemployment era, as I am now, but not trying to launch a podcast. So I need a little bit more time and not trying to move a house because that's also eating my time. I would love to make it more into the true scrapbook, you know, get a nice piece of paper that matches the ceremony color, get a picture of the couple, get the review printed out and put on like the back, like.

Speaker 1: 8:08

I've got some dreams for this and it might be a while until it actually happens, but I have a very. I've got two binders no longer in my bag that are in storage and one is like my first seven years of weddings because I didn't do all that many. They all fit into one binder. And then I have a single binder for 22, 23, 24, and now I'm on my 25 binder. So, yeah, really, really excited there. I have my Kindle, I have it with its Bluetooth keypad, I have it with its hearing case and its stylus, and I really do like to switch over more of my scripts to electronic. It just helps that I'm not constantly having to print, because printing can be a pain. Ink is expensive and it allows me to make more edits quicker on the fly and really, yep, yes and let's go. That sounds fantastic. I'm doing all this in a chair and running out of spaces for my stuff.

Speaker 1: 9:15

I take care of mailing back in the return slip of the marriage license. So I carry with me envelopes, stamps, little helpful listings of where things go to which county, listings of where things go to which county. Some counties spell it out for you in their forms and they want me to keep the form and say here's where you send it. Some give me pre-stamped not stamped pre-labeled envelopes Super helpful. Others do not. Others do absolutely nothing outside of issue the license. So I have to do a little bit of lookup. I have to write it all out. I got stamped, it's not a problem, I will do it. But in my bag I did carry those tools a whole pack of envelopes, rolls of stamps and all of that jazz. I've got some notes.

Speaker 1: 10:10

A lot of times when I consult with couples I'm able to be on my computer and I take notes right into my tracking document. But for times where I might not be or I get a phone call that comes in with a couple just giving me details on the fly, I have a whole bunch of scraps of paper with notes about the couples and what they want, what they're looking for. That I will then put into the script and ultimately at the end I put into the binder with all of their other intel. But until it makes its transition to the binder it ends up in my bag. I keep on hand some ceremony tools, unity elements, just in case now, if you're a couple that you already have, you know your unity planned and I'm supposed to be bringing it. Yes, I make sure that that's packed in the bag from the get-go, but other times, you know, I just have some backup ones in case miscommunication, in case I'm feeling moved and want to do a hand fasting ceremony and the couple's open to it.

Speaker 1: 11:18

I had a bride they weren't planning on it and then the grandmother flew in from Ireland and was talking to them at the rehearsal dinner about oh, you know, your grandfather and I were hand-fested and it was great and it triggered something in the bride to remember that I do hand-fasting. And so she was like oh, like it's probably too late now, but it would have been so cool. And I'm like I've got an extra one in my bag, don't worry, I'll bring it. You know, we can do this. So I always have a hand-fasting cord. I had a few couples who have had their ceremony spaces saged with a smudge stick before and I bought the sage in a three pack. So I still have one sage smudge stick. Should anyone need it, want it or we just have get some vibes from the venue, got it there.

Speaker 1: 12:11

I have bubbles, little wanda bubbles, along with pens. I keep it with my tens. Should there be a, please rise, join the couple and blow bubbles, because that happens and I want to make sure I'm prepared as soon as I see that sign. I've got my bubbles. Let me go grab them quick. Um, what else is in this hodgepodge? I carry thank you cards with me. Oh, I carry a little comb. That's my personal items. I carry thank you cards. I carry and I carry like official officiant things, if you will. So I have my, my credentials, I've got my certificate. I've got my certificate. I've got my letter of good standing. I have the printout from the state of Pennsylvania that gives the actual statute for Pennsylvania marriage laws.

Speaker 1: 13:04

Most of my weddings are in Pennsylvania, so that if anyone has questions on wait, how can you do what you do? I point to like the subsection. I get a little nerdy like that. I have my stole. I actually have two stoles. I have a white one which has gotten stained and I have a black one which I wear all the time and probably should get a backup one or a second one. I haven't lost it yet, knock on wood. I haven't need to replace it yet, thank goodness. It's good and reliable. I have business cards, I have a few brochures of my services, the pricings and everything, and I have some the Wedding Wear stickers to hopefully pass out and get more listeners to the podcast and outside of oh and then post weddings.

Speaker 1: 13:54

So how does my bag get? So? Oh, I do carry a mask, just in case there's ever a situation where I am sick, the couple is sick, someone is announced whether it's COVID or not, they're just ill. As best as I can, I won't wear during ceremony, but in pre-interactions, post-interactions, especially if I know I'm coming in sick, I want to really be as cognizant as I can. So I do have a mask. Plus we all faced it during COVID of places that we didn't think would have signs that say you need a mask in order to enter, and we tried to, you know, vampire it with our elbows or pull up our t-shirts or something. You just never know what situation you might be walking into. So I have one just in case I won't ever be denied access on the grounds of not having a mask.

Speaker 1: 14:49

So my bag often gets pretty pretty full by the end of a quarter because anything that a couple hands me you know thank you cards or an extra favor, you know I throw it in the bag. I have had so many Hershey Kisses melt in my bag because I forgot that I threw the favor in the bag. Cookies get eaten right away. Hershey Kisses sink to the bottom of the bag, melt and create a big, big mess. Hershey Kisses sink to the bottom of the bag, melt and create a big, big mess. And then I to go with my one binder that's kind of scrapbook-y, you know I'll put in you know business card of the venue or a program if you've got them printed. So lots of little things add up into the bag and given that during any three-month window well heck, even just in a one-month window I'm doing like eight to nine weddings. So multiply that in a three-month window I'm just under 30 weddings. That's a lot of stuff that could be living in the bag, plus little notes from console calls, plus the binders are getting heavier and heavier and thicker and thicker.

Speaker 1: 15:59

So it is very important that I do a clean out every now and again, preserve things, throw things away, just kind of assess where it's all at, so that I've made it a rule that I cannot extend to having two officiating bags. I need to have one, that's it. So I have to be a rule that I cannot extend to having two officiating bags. I need to have one, that's it. So I have to be a bag lady, not the bag lady, and I love. I love feeling like I have anything I could possibly need. There have been times where I've run out of pens in my bag because I've used them and put them down or left them, had people borrow them. So I really should stock the bag a little bit more with some more pens. But outside of that, I am really excited with my bag. I do feel lost without it.

Speaker 1: 16:47

Even if I go to like an elopement where I've got the lines memorized and I just need a pen for signing the license, I still probably have my bag with me when I get on site. I either store it in one of the get ready rooms or, if that's not possible, under a chair in the back row yeah, typically where I put it and just let it. Let it go and let it be. I do the hardest thing that I wish and I would take it as an old school little booklet if it existed, but I'd rather see it created as an app. So if you are a techie person out there and you know how to create apps, let's chat. Because man oh man.

Speaker 1: 17:34

So for marriage licenses you have to sign the designated city, township or borough along with the county. Villages don't count, unincorporated towns don't count. It has to be very specific and a lot of times that is not the place that is listed on, like the gps mailing address. It is not the place that the venue touts, it's not the place that the couple says. You have to find it on your own. So I pay attention to road signs when I drive in. Oh, it says entering the village of village doesn't count. Where's my next borough, town, bigger establishment? So my dream of dreams would be to create an app for officiants that literally is just where am I? And, based off of where you're geographically standing, it tells you from the smallest level, like the name of the venue, because some places do want the name of a venue all the way up.

Speaker 1: 18:47

So I did a wedding at Paradise Stream Resort, which the couple was like oh it's in Mount Pocono. Okay, the mailing address has it in Cresco. It's called Paradise Stream because it's actually in Paradise Township, which is in Cresco, next door to Mount Pocono. Lots of different elements there, so I had to really dig in on how to fill out this license, in which case it was Paradise Stream Resort, paradise Township, monroe County, because Paradise Township is weighty enough on its own. If Township wasn't applicable then I'd go with Cresco. Mount Pocono more describes like the general region of saying almost like the Poconos is close to Mount Pocono. More described like the general region of saying almost like the Poconos is close to Mount Pocono, but it's not. But there's so many venues that what the locals know it as versus what it really is, versus what the mailing address is. You want to get as specific as possible on the marriage license so that it isn't returned, and you want to be clear on the marriage license so that it isn't returned. And you want to be clear and you can even get into sometimes where the county is just slightly different, whether you are in the borough of or the city of.

Speaker 1: 20:07

Yeah, wilts fair, wilts fair is found like that. So if you're an app person, that's something I would love to chat with you on and create, because that is an addition. I would totally have in my bag either a little lookup book or a actual like on my phone. I'd make sure it was ready to go for everything. Plus and here's the hard part you have to make it accessible without cell service, like you almost have to like get into that SOS system so that it can still find your phone even if there's no bars and no service, because when you are out at a venue in the middle of nowhere and your phone has nothing and the venue has no Wi-Fi and you're on like a walking trail randomly, I still need to know where am I?

Speaker 1: 20:54

Just a food for thought there. Is there anything else you guys think I should have in my bag? Or is there anything you as a couple would find useful if I carried it around with me? Do you want remade out like tip envelopes I don't really get tipped all that much, but like do you want chipped envelopes? Do you want QR code that gets left behind that says scan here to send me a picture and leave me a review? I normally have emails that are scheduled to go out after a wedding, but I'm happy to carry something in my bag to leave behind to make it more seamless of a process for you guys. More seamless of a process for you guys.

Speaker 1: 21:35

Thank you so so much for working with me to get this far. I feel like I just put out the 250 bonus and now I'm putting out the 500 bonus, and I know that it'll take a little bit of time to hit the thousand bonus. But that's also what I said in trying to get to the 500, because we were just duplicate like we had to get double the numbers. So I don't know when we'll hear another bonus. There's a part of me that hopes it's soon and there's another part of me that's like, wow, I don't know how quick I can keep coming up with this content and do like two for weeks of episodes. So we shall indeed see. But thank you, thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 22:23

Thank you for listening to the Wedding Wear with Officiating by Amanda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on Buzzsprout and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the wedding wear. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at Officiating by Amanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook WeddingWire and the Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If on Facebook WeddingWire and the Knot to stay up to date on everything going on, if you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to theweddingwirepodcast at gmailcom. And if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda at gmailcom. Thank you so much for tuning in and until next time. This has been Amanda.