I Had to be a Bartender

A creekside ceremony. A missing bartender. A bar cart staffed by two kind owners who had never poured a drink. I walked into a spiraling setup and turned it around with calm, clarity, and a stripped-down playbook that kept the couple smiling and the guests safe.

Welcome back for 2026 - a candid reset for the new year and a reminder of our no-judgment ethos. Then the story takes off: a Facebook Marketplace bar cart changes hands, the promised mentor vanishes, and cocktail hour looms. With the venue coordinator juggling fires, we jump in, cut the chaos, and teach a crash course in service basics—ice-first, portion control, and a radically simple menu. One person batches the signature cocktail, another handles two-ingredient orders, and we set up visual guides to prevent over-pours and mystery mixes. The result: steadier lines, fewer mistakes, and a couple blissfully unaware that anything had gone sideways.

Beyond the drama, we dig into the practical playbook couples actually need. Learn how to vet vendors when a deal looks too good to be true, what to ask if a contract transfers to new owners, and why preferred vendor lists are about reliability, not kickbacks. We share checklists for bar service that work under pressure—short posted menus, cold mixers, batching the signature, clear roles—and talk about building teams who default to solutions. Experience costs a bit more, but it buys calm, speed, and fewer surprises when the room gets loud and the timeline tightens.

If you’re planning a wedding, you’ll walk away with real questions to ask, red flags to avoid, and smart safeguards that turn potential chaos into smooth celebration. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s planning, and leave a review with your best “you’re not going to believe this” wedding story—we might feature it next.

Chapters

• 0:04 New Year, New Season Reset
• 1:31 Our No‑Judgment Wedding Philosophy
• 2:35 Minister Plus: Going Beyond The Script
• 4:19 The Day I Became The Bartender
• 5:19 Meeting A Bar Cart Without Bartenders
• 7:21 Facebook Purchase And Vanishing Mentor
• 9:36 Crash Course: Simplify The Drink Menu
• 12:23 Ceremony Calm, Cocktail Hour Chaos
• 14:40 Fixing Pours, Preventing Disaster
• 17:16 Stabilizing Service And Taking Leave
• 19:12 Lessons: Vet Vendors And Backup Plans
• 22:01 Why Recommendations And Experience Matter
• 24:36 Final Takeaways And Listener Invite

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Welcome to the wedding wear with officiating by Amanda. The Wedding Where I had to be a bartender. Welcome back to The Wedding Wear. And Happy New Year. This is the first episode, normal episode, I'll say, because the last one we did was stats-based. This is the first normal episode of 2026. Oh my gosh. And oh my goodness. And can we believe it? I cannot. That means that in Mail have been doing this for 12 years. If you're new to the podcast, my name is Amanda. I am a wedding officiant. Minister is also a title I can use. And I'm based in Northeast Pennsylvania in the Poconos. And for the last 11 years, I have been performing weddings all over the place and of all shapes and sizes. And started this podcast last January. So by the end of the month, we'll have some year review stats on the podcast, which is awesome. But I started this podcast to share the stories of the wedding wear, the real, the crazy, the unbelievable, the heartfelt, the comedic. And I've gotten to have some really wonderful guests on brides who I've officiated for, vendors who I've worked with, and really just work to grow the podcast and the business in so many wonderful ways. This is a podcast where we listen and we don't judge. If you need a reminder of that, go back to a few other episodes like Prison Bra, they were already married to other people, bunch of tricky situations that I've been in where I really try not to judge at all on the weddings I do. I try to take them as learning lessons or opportunities for others, including myself, into the future. So that's a little jump back in and snippet. What else can I tell you, quick? I'm married, got my wonderful husband, Nick, we've bought our house. It's a little bit of a lemon, but we're making it work. It's our little lemon cello. And 2026 is going to be a big, big year. So let's dive in. On this episode of The Wedding Wear, we are covering one of the times where not only was I Minister Plus, but I took on a whole new role. And that's because I hopped behind the bar. Yep. One of my one of my best stories, if I had, if I have to say so myself. I had to be a bartender. So a lot of times I talk about being a minister plus. And that's everything that's not really in my job description, but I am never one to just sit on the sidelines while everyone's running around trying to get things together for the wedding. I like to help. I like to jump in. What can I do? Can I help? So I've gotten to fix bouton ears and calm nerves and give brides some water and dress up dogs and find missing rings and herd groomsmen, reminding them how much more time they have left to go to the bathroom and do lots of really interesting things. But this one definitely takes the cake in the minister plus realm because it's a whole other person's job. So for that wedding, I was pouring the drinks. Let me set the scene for you. I show up at this wedding, as I always do, about 30 minutes or so ahead of ceremony start. Really gorgeous venue down by a creek. And when I get in, I always check base with the bride, the groom, and typically venue coordinator, someone who knows what's going on with the situation. And when I find the bride, she is very upset. And she said she hasn't seen the venue coordinator in a while and said something along the lines of, if they don't have it together now, just let them flounder. And I was really confused and said, don't worry, I'll I'll go track down the venue coordinator and I'll figure out what's going on. So I walk over to the venue coordinator who is by this table that is operating as a bar top. And there's another table behind with all the liquor and the beer and the wine and the ice and very much the preparations of a bar that is going to be needed in about an hour's time from now for cocktail hour. Okay, so I'm there three minutes. Ceremony is going to be about 30. So all of this has to be ready and round to go in an hour. And I run into the coordinator and I introduce myself and I said, Hey, like, what's going on? The bride kind of said she hasn't seen you. And the coordinator looks at me and said, They, pointing to this young 20s man and woman. Coordinator says, they will explain it to you. Do you know how to cut limes? And I said, Yes. I used to work in a diner. I know how to cut limes. She said, Great, I'm gonna run back to the bride. You work with them, help them however you can. Anything would be appreciated. And left. So I walked, introduced myself formally to the man and woman who were standing there. And they, do I were like, you you know how to cut limes? Yep, I do. I'll show you, but first you gotta tell me what's going on here. I'm a little confused. Well, they were not bartenders. They had no right in calling themselves bartenders. They basically were a yuppie young couple who found a woman on Facebook Marketplace that was selling her bar cart business, you know, like those old horse stall, you know, silver tins that are in nowadays, and you have the little open window where the horse's head used to come out, and they turn it that into the bar top and they, you know, repurpose this item. And it's super cool and really great at weddings that don't have like a kitchen or formal catering space or a formal bar. Like this is a mobile bar. You just drive it up, you serve the drinks, and you drive it back. So they explained that about a month ago, and this was a summer wedding. So we'll say late spring. In late spring, they saw the posting on Facebook Marketplace for this bar cart with the big exclamation point that the cart had contracts all the way through to the end of the year. So whoever bought the cart from the seller would have to maintain its bartending services through all remaining contracts of the year. The couple did not plan to keep it as a bar cart. I think they wanted to turn it into like a wellness, like we'll pull up at things and put a little massage table in it that you can get a massage at, or there'll be like some juices served through the window. They really were not into the bar alcohol thing. Uh, I couldn't make this up. I seriously could not make this up even if I tried. It was just so wild that you have no desire to own a bar cart, and yet that is exactly what you buy with the stipulation that it needs to remain a bar cart for the first few months, probably six months that you own it. But I digress. They were not bartenders. They didn't know anything, and they acknowledged that they did not know anything. They didn't know the difference between a shot and a like a glass, a highball glass. They did not know anything. Heck, I was being asked, do you cut limes? Oh gosh. So when they bought the cart, they explained to the lady that sold it to them that they did not know how to bartend. And she sold them some right amount of crap. Oh, it's super easy, super simple. Tell you what, I'll be there with you for the summer weddings. There were like four or five of them. I will be there with you for the summer weddings and teach you how to bartend. Mind you, not ramp certified or anything in the legal sense, no PA liquor control board over here. I will teach you how to do this. And then for the fall, the busy season that this bar cart is booked for that you're continuing the contracts on, that will be on you. Oh, okay, perfect, said the couple. Well, lo and behold, Day of, she didn't show up. In fact, I have it on good authority that she was never intending to show up. But there they are. I believe she gave them a list when they barked the cart of what to kind of have it stocked with. So they went out to the store and they spent their money, good money from, you know, and they bought all the liquor that you could think to buy, all the mixers. And they had printed out how to do some of the crazy, crazy drinks like the liquid marijuana shot and a kamikaze and just a woo-hoo and a pink squirrel, and all of the ones that when you don't know the basics at all, you really shouldn't even be trying to play with. They didn't know how to hold a jigger. They didn't know what order to put ice into a glass. It was just an absolute mess. So after learning this story and showing them how to cut limes, I jumped on in. We had at this point probably about 20 minutes until the wedding started, and I had to be down there in a little bit. And I said, okay, I'm going to give you as much as I can ahead of this, and then I'm gonna leave you and I'll check back in after the ceremony. But we're gonna make this really, really simple. And they're looking at me like I'm this rock star, but they're also like, wait, you're a minister? Well, I had to explain that I am not, I am not for the PA liquor control board, a certified bartender at all, by any means. But I did do four years in college as a very active member of my sorority and spent an awful lot of time in a fraternity basement making drinks that no one could taste the alcohol in. And those were my credentials. And compared to what this couple had going, those credentials were very, very strong. So I said, we are going to simplify your menu immediately. You have one signature drink that the couple wants. One of you is just going to be making those around the clock once cocktail hour starts. So start now and get good at it and know how much of each ingredient you need because the signature drink has to stay. Anything else fancy that you've got going goes. If the drink is not clear in its name of what's in it, you cannot make it. And again, I got puzzled looks. I'm like, you're not making a pink squirrel. I can't tell you offhand what's in a pink squirrel, and you will not have time to go look up the recipe to see what is in a pink squirrel. So no, no pink squirrels for you. Vaca crayon, fantastic, that is. Vaca and cranberry juice, rum and coke. You can make that. Gin and tonic, sure thing. But if you can't tell what's in it by just the name, do not make it and do not pretend that you can. That's the simplest instruction I can give you. Let's practice a few, and I'm going down to the wedding. So I got them pretty operating pretty well. Very basic. You know, I think I listed out like 10 two ingredient recipes. Maybe a few where it's like, okay, you can do a vodka crayon, splash this. If they tell you what the splash is, like splash sprite, perfect. But again, if it is not directly clear from what they tell you in the name and title of what they want, you can't do it. So I go down along the creek and I marry the couple. Happy to say that the bride was very much calmed down. Like I think once I was able to free up the venue coordinator and get her back to her normal job, things were much, much smoother. So I led the pack back up to cocktail hour, as I typically do outside of the bridal party and parents who typically stay for pictures. I'm the first one back down that aisle fully. And a lot of the guests followed after me. So I'm like, all right, the license is signed. They are married. All is good. Let me go check on the bar. I'm glad I did. They needed help immediately. So I did it. I took my stool off, I rolled up my sleeves a little bit more, and I got behind the bar because what I saw was was crazy. And what I had to stop from happening was crazy. We had a whole a person who asked for a shot and they were served a whole glass shot. No, absolutely not. Like you should have seen how big their eyes were when this whole glass of Jameson was handed to them. And we we let them go with it. But I explained to the bartenders, like, you need to remember what that person's face looked like. And they are not coming back up within the next two hours at least for another drink. And in the future, here's how you do a shot, or here's how you do a shot over ice and just the little bit of buoyancy you want to see with the ice. You just, you just float the ice a little. Like, no, we are not seeking to have anybody go to the hospital here. We had warm soda splashes. That must be that that's gotta be one of my favorites. So they put the liquor in first and like lined it up to the bottom because again, they're not comfortable with doing counts and pours or using their trigger. So they just figured out in a blank cup how much how much shop lines up to, like in a solo cup. So they filled to there. Then they put ice in. Then they put the warm coke that had been sitting out in the sun on top. That's just no. That's a no. Nah, for me, dog. We had a few mystery drinks where they went to go get handed out to somebody, and I stopped and said, but what is that? And they go, What she ordered. And I said, Well, what did you order? And I'm told that they ordered a rum and coke. And this is a yellowish color drink suggesting pineapple juice or orange juice, very bothered down. Nope, that's not that. Take it away, take it away. And we had a few guests come up and say, Oh, I'll just take anything, surprise me. No, no, friend. Here's the list of beer, here's the list of wine, here's the signature drink, and the two ingredient well drinks we can do. There is no surprise me with this, and we are not seeking to train any more than we already have. So I jumped in, I corrected when I could, I lined up cups, did some portion control, took a few orders. One of my main focuses was really making sure that the girl who was really, she had the signature drink down, making sure that she wasn't inundated with a bunch of other drinks so that she could keep making those. She probably would like make a group of five or six, and we'd have them ready for a distribution to whoever ordered it. And then she could take orders for like wine and beer just to keep her hands pretty free so that when we ran low on signature drinks, she could go back to that. And the guy and I kept on top of the ordered well drinks and sodas and other things that need an ice, a pour, more than just open and pour or pop a beer. It probably took about 15 people back through the line. It was probably actually the lady who was poured the glass o shot that people realized that I was the minister. And they thought that that was absolutely hysterical. I got a few tips, which just so honored by because I set my own pricing, so I don't normally get tipped. So I'm honored when a couple does it. But in a situation like this where I'm behind the bar even and I'm getting tipped, like that's unheard of. So we got through the cocktail hour. And I texted my husband because when I left the house, it was okay, I'll be there half an hour ahead of the ceremony, and I'll be able to leave about 10, 20 minutes after the ceremony concludes. Well, nope, here I was now more than an hour behind my leave time, but he really understood. And he knows I like to help wherever I can. After Cocktailer got done and the couple came back up, things stabilized. There's no longer a rush, and there wouldn't really be a rush again until dancing a little bit later on. And at that point, I'm like, it's sync or swim. They either have to have it or they don't. So I talked with the venue coordinator. It did not bother the couple. They had enough going on in their day. I like waved goodbye, touched base with a few people, and I left. The couple really, outside of knowing, hey, these people who have showed up with the bar cart are not the lady that we hired to run it. They didn't really know that anything was an issue after I got there. And that's amazing. To keep that off of their plate and to work out solutions rather than Presenting problems or more complications. But that's that's my goal in everything. So, how can you make sure that your minister doesn't also have to be a bartender? That's a really wonderful question. We're not judging. I really want you to know who you've hired. Some vendors have lower pricing because they are learning. They don't have a repository built up yet. And that is totally okay. Everyone has to start off somewhere. But you really need to ask yourself: do I want someone learning at my wedding? Do I want to be the practice? What are the backups in place, either on my end or on their end, if something were to go wrong? Now, obviously, that was a little different of the situation that we were in here where they did they hired somebody who was trained and certified and running their own business. I don't know when in the mix the couple was notified that the contract was being transferred over to the new owners, but certainly that's where some more questions could have gone in. Because there's a really big difference between I am new, but I am trained and I'm being supported and I'm, you know, working at bartending every single night on my end. I'm just not ramp certified, versus, oh, I'm new and I'm gonna figure this out as I go, which is very much what these individuals had had to be doing because the lady didn't show up. One of the best things about this wedding was that things did go wrong, but everybody was there to help it so that it didn't get any worse and that we could all make it a little bit better. From the venue coordinator being there at the beginning to assess the situation and step in and see what she could do to help to myself, to guests and family members, once they realized they're not doing complicated drinks, kind of whispering down the alleyway and going, hey, it's just simple well drinks, guys. Like, hey, Gina, we know you like a Malibu Baber's. Like, come up with something else. Really nice just to have people pull together when needed because they they don't have to. They really don't. It wasn't in my job. Bartending wasn't also in the venue coordinator's job. Changing your bar order when you were told it's an open bar isn't the responsibility of any guest. It's a kind thing to do. And it's it's nice that they all did that. It's always really good for couples to think about the people that you've got by your side, because once something goes sideways, and it will on your wedding day, you want to make sure you're surrounded by people who want the day to succeed, who will do things to help out. Biggest piece of advice with this, especially having spoken with the venue coordinator at different weddings afterwards, was that they had a lot of bartenders that they've worked with previously that they could have easily recommended, and they don't know why the couple went with this unknown lady who then sold the business and people who didn't know what they were doing. So talk to your venue and your other vendors. Vendor recommendations really do matter because the people who've worked there before know how operations flow, they know the setup, they know the layout, they know what works and what doesn't work. You can tell a lot by how a recommendation goes. So ask the venue, who have you worked with before? Who would you work with again? We're not saying, like, oh, who's your number one baby? We're not asking, is this person getting a kickback? It's not about that. It's not about favoritism. A preferred vendors list in all categories exists for a reason. It is because those people have shown that they are consistent, they are reliable, and they have experience. And the venue or vendor, other vendor that you're working with would love to work with them again. And that might come with a slightly higher price tag, but experience is worth it. But knowing that any other minister might have showed up 10 minutes before a ceremony, heard about this kafuffle, crossed their arms and said, Well, the ceremony better start on time, or I'm charging you a late fee. That just it baffles me. But I know that it happens. And so you really want to take into account what you're paying for and who would go the few extra steps if they can, if it's feasible on their end, to do so to make your day what you want it to be. And while I'm always happy to be Minister Plus, this was a little too much. I don't need to be minister bartender ever again. So I hope that you enjoyed hearing all about the wedding I had to be a bartender at. We had teamwork and flexibility, and I'm forever thankful that I know how to pour a decent rum and coke. Weddings are not about perfection. Instead, they're about the people who show up and help out and make everything work. And if that means I end up behind a bar, well, I'll get some tips and you'll have some fun stories, won't you? Thank you so much for listening to The Wedding Wear. I really hope that you enjoyed this episode. Feel free to share it along with people who love weddings or are planning weddings. And if there's any of your own, well, that sounds a lot like what happened at my wedding and you're not going to believe it, stories. Please, I would love to hear about it. Come on, let's talk. So until next time, we listen, we don't judge. Maybe I should keep a bar towel in my car, just to have on hand. And this has been Amanda. Thank you for listening to The Wedding Wear with Officiating by Amanda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on Busfraut and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment, and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the wedding wear. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at OfficiatingByamanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook, WeddingWire, and The Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to the WeddingWare Podcast at gmail.com. And if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda at gmail.com. Thank you so much for tuning in. And until next time, this has been Amanda.