Not So Civil Bathrooms and Press Freedoms | 04.23.25

In the 14th episode of 'The Civil Union' podcast, Alex and Ryan, a married couple residing in a conservative state, provide sharp insights and candid discussions on various political issues. This episode covers their personal weekend activities, including yard work and attending a Remi Wolf concert, and delves into serious political debates about transgender bathroom issues, the erosion of press freedoms by the Trump administration, and the broader implications of current political trends on democracy. The episode ends with an engaging game segment, 'White Lotus or White House,' and a motivational speech on the need for new leadership and solidarity in the Democratic Party.

00:00 Introduction to the Civil Union Podcast
00:54 Weekend Recap and Personal Updates
04:50 Concert Experience and 90s Fashion Revival
07:56 Trans Bathroom Issues and Public Restroom Preferences
14:17 Press Freedom Under Threat
19:18 Game Time: White Lotus or White House?
22:22 Call to Action and Closing Remarks

Transcript

0:07

welcome to the Civil Union, the podcast where politics meets partnership. We're Alex and Ryan, a married couple, navigating life and debates in a conservative state. We bring you sharp insights, bold opinions, and honest conversations about the political issues shaping our lives, especially those living on society's margins. Tune in for a real talk, a touch of humor, and plenty of passion because when it comes to politics, every voice matters, and we are here to make sure they're heard. Welcome everyone. Thank you for tuning in for our 14th episode of the Civil Union Podcast. If you haven't given us a follow on Instagram, uh, go ahead and give us a follow that's at the Civil U, just just the letter U and follow us on TikTok. We're also active on TikTok. How are you doing today, Alex? Pretty good. Pretty good. I am in a new class and it's, I'm almost done with my program, but this class is really low key. It's work on your own. So the classes are like supposed to be two hours, but we only have been really lasting like 30 minutes. I. Oh, nice. That's, that's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we had such a busy, productive weekend. Alex was in a, a conference all weekend, so while he was away, I was able to complete all the outside yard work to get the house prepped, you know, ready for spring and summer. all the things he put off when it's like absolutely freezing outside, I've raked. I picked up brush, mowed the lawn for the first time this season. I even stained the deck. That hadn't been done in probably five years. I planted flowers, took down the hail damaged patio lights and replaced them with these fancy LED lights that you can just control from your phone. It, it was a lot of work, that's for sure. I think those LED lights you got were so. Cool. You can change the colors. I mean, they're legit and they're supposedly shatterproof. We'll see. Oh, for sure. The technology on those have really advanced within the last like five years because five years ago we were just like, um, we will wait a little bit, but they, they look so good, that's for sure. I think overall. This past weekend I did about 14 hours worth of outside themed yard work, but it looks so good right now. Now it's just all about the upkeep on it all. I even rewarded myself with a sweet treat from Starbucks. I got my first Frappuccino and probably two years. Those things are so good. I just wish they didn't melt so fast. Yeah. I get wraps on like really, really? Crappy work weeks. I'll get a frappe on my Friday and I'll do like the Java chip. Those are the best ones. The Java chip, I can see little chocolate bites in it. So good. So many calories. Yeah, that's exactly what I did too, but so good. I got a coffee Frappuccino with the Java chips in it. It was delicious. Yes, but I, I went outside the next day and you know what? I am no longer being Mr. Snow White. I have all these critters that I've been like. You know, giving them homes, feeding them in the mornings, they, they decided to dig up all of my flowers that I planted. And I think it's the squirrels by the way. So I, I read somewhere that cayenne pepper keeps the critters out from digging up your plants. So I had Alex look for some cayenne pepper in our. Spice cabinet. And what do you know? We found something way in the back that expired, I think in 2021. I have no idea. I swear I've cleaned it out since we've lived here. But I, I sprinkled some of it around the pots and even in the soil. And the critters did not partake in ripping up the flowers. So maybe that did the trick. I have no idea. Oh my God. And when Ryan says he's snow white, he really is like, he goes outside and. Birds will come flying in.'cause they know they have treats. We have these chipmunks that we've had for years. I mean, he, it, you should see it. It's very entertaining. Also, you know what I noticed on my Instagram, there are like no photos of me this year. I'm like. If something tragic happens to me, no one will have any photos of me from 2025. So I started doing these pictures of like outfit of the day photos, you know, little selfies to let all my followers know that, uh, I'm, no, I'm not a bot, I'm a real person, you know? So that was kind of fun. It gives you some self, uh. Self gratitude or something like, I don't wanna sound full of myself, but I felt, uh, good. Yeah, you need to bring the selfie back. Selfies are back. And I don't ever do them that often anymore. We used to do'em all the time in our twenties and now we just don't. And now we just, as we've gotten older, we don't take as many photos, but I don't know why.'cause we still look good trying to, at least, you know, you gotta, you gotta keep it fresh, you know? So, uh, but to top off the weekend. We were able to see Remy Wolf in concert, which was. Such a cool concert at the Pageant. I think she was sold out. Alex actually got the tickets a few months ago. Right. Yeah. I love Remi Wolf. I came across her'cause she was actually, came across my feed, I think through euphoria'cause she was connected with someone on the show and I just started listening to her. She's from, I believe's like Santa Monica or that part of California and she usually just does like. The festival circuits, but she never tours. So when she did and we, I saw she's coming to St. Louis, I immediately jumped on her. I was like, this is gonna be great. It was a lot of fun. It was, and if, if you don't know who Remy Wolf is, you should, you should check her out. Her music is, I'd say it's like a alternative pop with a little bit of funk style to it, whether you like that type of music or not. She sold out the pageant. It was a much younger crowd, that's for sure. Uh, we were definitely the older ones in the venue, but she put on such a fantastic show. And the crowd, I mean, let's just say the nineties fashion is back. That's definitely back it. Is, and I don't understand it, and I don't know if that ages me. I don't think it does. I really don't. I've, we've had many discussions on this. When we say nineties fashion is back, we're not even talking like clueless or like fun nineties fashion. It's like grungy. You haven't looked like you showered in a while, like the craft type fashion. Like that's what's coming back and it is so weird. Or like, you know, the lime green clear trench coats people would wear and the platform shoes and like, it's just the really baggy jeans. It's just, it's very weird to me that that's like. Attracting people again. I understand when the seventies came back, I understand when the eighties came back, those were really cool fashions, but I don't think anyone wanted the nineties fashions to come back. Especially this little section they're redoing. I mean, at that Remy Wolf concert, some of the people had like the little rubber bands in their hair. They had the like plastic chokers around their necks. Like we used to get those cheap ones. I mean, it, it was, it was very weird. It was fascinating. Yeah, I, it's cute. It's a style, you know, I don't even know if they would, I think if we were to tell people that it was the nineties, I think one, I think that ages us and then two, I think they would be like, we're not the nineties. This is our generation. This is what we're doing now. I'm, it's just a trend. I think. I, I just don't think it's cute. Like, there was one person I saw, she had like a, like a floral tank top on, you know, those nineties tank tops and then she had like a white. Long sleeve shirt underneath, like it's just, and then people are wearing the socks with the fluffiness on it, like the little, the little, um, ruffles on top of the white, fluffy socks in sandals. It's just, it's weird. It's like, that is not attractive and it looks weird. And that's why the nineties, well, maybe not to you, but to other people. We're, we're very diverse here. We're for the, we're, we are the d. And DEI. We are the diversity. I mean, I'm all, it's yes, you're for that. Agree. Express yourself in fashion. I'm all for it. It just, it's funny to me how that specific time period is coming back anyway. Yeah. So can, can someone explain to me what's the deal with the whole. Bathroom trans issues that the Republicans are pushing. I mean, the way they're targeting the trans community is honestly outrageous and just seems to create more hate. It's like they're going after a group that all is already struggling just to score political points. This has never been a. Big issue for me. There are way more pressing matters to tackle right now, but the last local elections we had, I think some candidates were running for board of education positions, and some of these candidates were parents literally with pitchforks ready to change bathroom policies to your assigned sex at birth. I just, I don't know, I hate going to the bathroom in public places already. I don't understand why. We as a human evolution, decided that it's okay to go, you know, number two next to someone else in a stall. Like I want the privatization of bathrooms. Seriously. I don't want to sit in a stall that you can see other people's feet. I don't want to sit in a stall where you can see out the cracks in the door, I like private bathrooms to do my private business. You know, when I'm at work, if someone is in the stall, I like turn around and just come back later. It's just so annoying. I don't want to hear you going. Number two, I also don't want you hearing, hearing me go number two. It it's, it's a very rare occurrence that I have to do that when I'm out in public or at work. So. I just, I don't understand why a few minutes of using a toilet is detrimental to the right wingers. Well, and what they don't understand is they're, they're attacking a group of people that it actually hurts them more not to be able to use their own bathrooms. It's not even that big of a deal, like you said. And because for them to go, like if, if a trans female. Because they were assigned male at birth, had to be forced to go to a male bathroom. That to me, would be worse because you have a, a girl wanting, you know, dressed as a girl, wanting to be a girl, identifies as a girl and they're having to go into a men's restroom dressed up. You know what I mean? Like, to me, that just makes it even more strange and awkward and weird for. Everyone involved. I just don't understand the whole situation. They ha they are basing this off of handful of cases, if that, I think it's even less than that, that people have been assaulted in bathrooms by actual men, not men dress as women. And these republicans are driving that as a, as a reason. Well, safety and I don't want my kids to be, you know, blah, blah, blah. So stupid. It's a stupid argument. It's based off stupid cases that aren't even valid. Are there even cases out there? Out there? I, I know there's probably like one. I, but it didn't even deal with a trans person. I doubt. Hmm. I think it was like a man, I don't even know. It's just, it's, it's ridiculous and it's stupid. There are bigger issues with bathrooms. Like you said. I like closed bathrooms as well. Alamo Drafthouse has closed bathrooms and it's, you are literally closed door. There's walls. Um, you know, that to me is something we should work towards, not. What, who is actually sharing the bathrooms? And you know, when this whole situation went down for, initially, we lived in Oklahoma and I remember we went to establishments that literally would put male female signs on actual doors. Like they didn't care.'cause it's not a big deal. Just let people will use what they want to use, especially when bathrooms are private. I don't understand why one has to be women and one has to be man because. Does it really matter? Well, in fact, when when we go on road trips, we always stop at exits with Starbucks locations because those restrooms are always private. It's kind of like that Nashville trip we took when I told everyone how I, I took my vitamins without eating, and I, I got sick in the private Hampton social bathroom. It's almost like that saying, I'm not sure how it goes, but it's like, would you rather be happy or crying in a limo? Like, Hey, I'd rather be crying in a limo. I'd rather get sick in a private bathroom than in a stall next to someone going potty, like in the words of Parker Posey from the White Lotus in relation to my. Disgust of having to use public restrooms. I just, I just don't think I'm meant to live an uncomfortable life. Not at this age, but, but kidding aside, we were at a, at a pit stop in a small Texas town, the fast food joint, we ventured two, had two private restrooms, one for men, one for women. Both bathrooms were the exact same restrooms, just like the ones in Starbucks. It was lunchtime, so it was already pretty busy. So the men were streaming in and out of the bathroom while the line for the women was like five women deep. That was another evolutionary wake up call for me, like us men. Get that advantage again. We order our food, go potty, come out and the food is ready. The, the women ordered their food and wait to go potty food is ready, but they still have to wait in line for the same exact bathroom setup. I think if. They were set up like the Starbucks restrooms. Everyone would have to wait the same exact amount of time like everyone else. I'd like to get a women's per, I would really like to get a women's perspective on this. We need to start having guests come to the show, actually, in my opinion. Agreed. Anyway, I bring this up because there was a brief period during the Biden presidency where everything was smooth sailing. This was when the economy was thriving. This was before the post covid inflation. That is when Republicans started playing duck, duck goose with all the minority groups and guess who was the goose? The trans community. We witnessed them take out their pitchforks and start really coming after this community when it came to sports. Bathrooms medical care. It's really sad how many people just think about themselves when it comes to voting. They don't think about the greater good for the whole country. Uh, it's, it just, it's always blown my mind. Yeah. I mean, nowadays I think majority of people are, what is it? Call one subject voters or something like that. Like they only are thinking for themselves in their little bubble that they live in. It's, it's unfortunate. Yeah, so let's talk about something that should be a five alarm fire for anyone who cares about democracy, the First Amendment, or honestly just basic transparency in government over the course of this podcast. Since January when we started, I've brought up various issues on press freedoms with this administration from the WIN case to taking away press freedoms in a wrapped up revenge porn issue pushed by Melania Trump. Well, this week, the Trump White House quietly, but. Very deliberately booted the associated press from the White House Press pool. They changed the rules in a way that effectively bars the AP from participating. Even after a Trump appointed federal judge explicitly ruled that their previous actions were a clear violation of the First Amendment and, and here's the kicker. Not only is the White House ignoring that ruling, they're doubling down on it. They've started censoring the actual. Pull reports, which are those routine updates from on the ground reporters that are supposed to be distributed to every news outlet covering the White House. This is not an exaggeration. They're literally editing or completely withholding pool reports if they contain facts. The White House doesn't. Like last week, seen as Oliver Darcy uncovered that a pool report from the Dallas Morning News noted that an AP photographer and reporter had been turned away from the pool. But that sentence about the AP photographer was withheld from the version the White House sent out. It was scrubbed erased like it never happened. Same thing the day before. Another report this time mentioning that a Trump net neu press conference had been canceled. That report also disappeared, and this is a massive departure from precedent for decades, no matter the administration, Republican. Or Democrat pool reports were sacred ground. It didn't matter if they were flattering or unflattering, they went out because the whole point is transparency. The idea is we all get the same facts. No spin, no hiding, journalistic truth. And let me be clear, this is actual censor censorship. This is a president retaliating against the press, silencing critical coverage, and ignoring a federal court order in the process. So where are the free speech warriors now? Where's Matt? Tabby? Where's Barry Weese? Where are the voices that spent the last three years screaming that the Biden administration was some kind of James Orwell thought police, just for suggesting social media companies. Take a second look at misinformation. They accused the last presidency of the threat of total alien control, surveillance and manipulation of language. Those same folks called it a grave threat to liberty. They set government pressure on tech companies. Was the end of free speech as we know it, but now. We have a president actively censoring the press, not asking politely, not making recommendations, censoring directly and in the fines of a federal judge, and suddenly those defenders of speech are quiet. This should be a massive story in any other time in American history. This would be front page news for weeks. The White House editing poll reports banning the associated press, silencing the coverage about canceled precedents. That's not shady, that's authoritarian, and yet. It barely makes a dent in the news cycle. It's not trending, it's not leading cable news. Even mainstream media outlets who should be the loudest voices on this are mostly quiet, and that's terrifying because if we let this become normal, if a president can silence and punish the press with zero consequences, we are opening the door to something much darker. This is exactly how authoritarianism works, not with big flashy announcements, but with quiet rule changes, with erase sentences. With the press backing down story by story until there's nothing left to report, there's this quote. I'm actually getting caught up on The Handmaid's Tale, and this is from The Handmaid's Tale. I believe it's season one. I know. Scary, scary reference. But there's this quote that says, nothing changes instantaneously in a gradually heating bathtub. He'd be boiled to death before you knew it. So, yeah, if you're pissed off about this, you should be, if you're confused why it isn't getting more attention, you're not alone. And if you're wondering what comes next, well that depends on whether we actually pay attention and hold accountability. Because press freedom isn't just about journalists. It's about all of us knowing what our government is doing, especially when they don't want us to know. I'm sure there'll be more on this. Soon. But for now, just, just please stay informed because they are slowly ripping away freedoms. And like I said, we're gonna, if we're gonna find ourselves in a situation way deeper because they're doing it in a gradual way. I mean, again, we're what, four months into this administration, so we have three more years, think of what they can continue doing if they keep continuing to take our rights away. So moving on to game time. We are gonna bring back, I know the last couple episodes we've been doing policies, which is fun, but this time we are gonna say, who said it? White Lotus or White House. Ooh, that's a good one. I'm excited. Yeah. All right, you ready? I'm ready. Okay. There's eight quotes. Okay. So quote one, I think you just, you just do whatever you have to do not to feel like a victim. White Lotus or White House? White Lotus, correct. It was done. I don't know if you would be able to guess it, gaff, but it was the character, um, Tanya, Jennifer Coolidge. Oh, okay. From season one. All right, quote two. We're going to start being smart and we're going to start being very wealthy again. White House or White Lotus. White House, correct. Donald Trump this past year. Nice. Alright. If you make me look bad, I will ruin you. The White Lotus or the White House? White House. White Lotus. Ah, it was again Tanya, Jennifer Coolidge, but this was from when she was talking to her assistant in season three. If you're not with us, you're against us and we'll make you regret it. White House or the White Lotus White House, correct. They're nuts, aren't they? Donald Trump. All right, quote five. It's all about power. Who has it? Who doesn't, and who wants it? The white, Lotus or White House. I'm gonna go with White Lotus, correct. Armand from the very first season. I think he was the character with the mustache. Alright, quote six. I've been through a lot of changes in my life, but this one, this is different. This is the moment I take everything I've learned and use it to get exactly what I want. White, lotus or White House. White Lotus, correct. Nice. Tanya again. Jennifer Coolidge. She has the best quotes. All right. Quote seven. People think they can silence us, but we've never been quieter. We've been planning and we've been preparing. Now is the time to make sure they feel the consequences of their actions. White House or White Lotus? Uh, well, it's a little nutty, so I'm gonna say White House, correct? Yeah. Makes sense. All right, so last one, quote eight. I don't think people understand how much I've sacrificed to be here, to make everyone around me comfortable to make sure everything looks perfect. But you know what? It's exhausting and I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending I've got it all together. White House or White Lotus. I'm gonna say White Lotus. Correct. That was the white notice. Nice. It was the wife from season one. Um, I think she was with that guy that always wore good clothes, all the polos. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Huh. Well, I think I missed one. So that was, you got much better than the other ones that we've been doing. 95%. So, you know, I, I, I find myself reflecting on challenges faced by past generations. The struggles that fueled progress from the second industrial revolution to surviving the Great Depression and the resilience of those who lived through both World Wars. It's tempting to think, wow, those times must have been been really tough. But guess what, here we are in 2025, living through another. Pivotal and challenging era. For so many of us. It's a constant battle just to exist as part of a minority group. Right now we have a president who seems bent on unraveling the fabric of this country, disregarding court. Orders and tearing down the hard work that built this nation, the Republican party is dragging us backward into dark times, stifling progress across the board from tech and healthcare to social justice years from now. When historians look back on this period, I can just imagine someone like me thinking. Wow, what the fuck? And, and, and the thought of that ignites something within me. It, it pushes me to take action. But let's be real. The National Democratic Party has largely overlooked places like Missouri, since Missouri, since Obama lost here in 2008. It's, it's just a fact. So once more, I'm stepping up. I'm volunteering. I, we started this podcast. It helps me channel my voice and frustrations. It's, it's very, very therapeutic as well. The first three months of this second Trump presidency have set us on a path that will take generations to reverse. We're facing a, a serious threat. Threat, and far too many Republicans in Congress are turning a blind eye to it and honestly, I'm exhausted from replaying in my mind why people voted for him. We've questioned this endlessly over the last decade. It's time to move forward to challenge the that angry. Complacent mindset of the don't tread on me crowd. They wield their MAGA flags as symbols of pride, yet somehow misinterpret what it actually means to be an American. It's frustrating to see them equate their divisive agenda with patriotism. We need leaders in the Democratic Party who can fight fire with fire. We need to reclaim the narrative. We are the party that can keep America great by defending fundamental rights such as the right to love whom you choose, and a woman's right to make a decision about her own body. We can't afford to let tariffs take us back to an outdated industrial economy. Take a moment. To think about the impact of the second industrial revolution, it brought monumental change, but that change came at a major cost. Workers and the environment suffered greatly often for the sake of progress. Child labor, unsafe working conditions, and environmental degradation were rampant. The rise of unions was a response to those shared challenges by everyone, and now we see history repeating as the Republican Party seeks to dismantle these protections. I truly believe this is the mindset of the Republican Party, a third industrial revolution. US millennials have already navigated two recessions and are facing the prospect of another one. Yes, a second recession under a Trump presidency. We lived through national tragedies, school shootings, and intense social media scrutiny. We should be done discussing gay marriage. It should be a settled issue. What we need is a new generation of leadership. Democratic millennials and Gen Zers have the power to reshape this country for the better. We believe in progress. We are pro-education, pro infrastructure, and pro people. We should split the debt into two different varieties, good debt and bad debt. We need a society that values good debt through investment in our communities. we envision affordable electric cars, sustainable living, and the advancement of technology that benefits everyone, not just the ultra wealthy. This year has shown us just how out of touch our leaders are. We need to invest in our people and our institutions like nasa, not SpaceX, and we need to invest in the auto industry innovators rather than the idolizing, the spectacle of billionaires. Let's remember the importance of solidarity, like. When that middle school teacher in Idaho refused to take down her, everyone is welcome. Sign. That spirit of inclusion should be at the forefront of our fight. And can we take a moment to appreciate Harvard's stand against the Trump administration's attempts to undermine diversity and equity programs? This is about protecting not only our core values, but our constitutional guaranteed freedoms as we grapple with immigration. Let's stop viewing newcomers through a lens of criminality. They are seeking what we all strive for a chance at a better life. The way we handle these situations should reflect our shared humanity. Together we can envision a future with affordable living, access to healthcare and an education system that empowers rather than diminishes. Let's reclaim our narrative and be the change we want to see. And there we have it. That's our episode. I'll leave you on that note. I love that speech. No, that was very well done. Well said. Thanks. Yeah. I will randomly like thoughts and creativity comes in my mind randomly, kinda like Taylor Swift and her songwriting, and I'll just like voice, record it into my phone and then, you know, I, I like. Write it down and then I just put it all together and boom. Maybe we should have like a special episode of just like Ryan's voice recordings. Oh my God. Yeah. There's some crazy, well, they're not crazy, but they're just like, you know, they're wild. They're honest. They're honest. Yeah. They're true feelings. Yeah. This is therapy for me. This is why we're doing this. So, um, alright, so that's it for our podcast today. Um, thank you everyone for listening. Give us a follow at the Civil U. On Instagram and TikTok and uh, send us an email, the Civil Union twenty5@gmail.com. We would love to get an email. We no one e emails us. So Yeah. And feedback. Give us feedback, let us know what's going on, how we're doing. Yeah, totally. So. Alright, thanks everyone.