Spotting Obstacles

From time to time, we all come across obstacles which hinder our progress – today, we’re chatting about how to deal with them effectively so we can be on our way again. 

Find Lee at:

• Website: https://welshotimaging.co.uk/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leeatwelshot/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lee.iggulden

Find Michelle at:

• Web: https://www.thinkingspacecoaching.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thinkingspacecoaching/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cmichellerogers/

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Courage and Confidence. We're doing it scared, we're learning as we go, and that's really the point of the whole project. To show people like you that people like us can learn new things and have fun while we do so. By this point the cows had kind of come back into the field for the night, and you could see these gleaming eyes looking at you. Look us!

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Hello and welcome to Courage and Confidence episode 14. Today we're talking about spotting obstacles and finding your way around them. Hello Michelle, how are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Good morning. I am very well today, thank you. The sun is shining. I've been for a walk. All is right with the world.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Well, that's jolly good. Jolly good. So talk to me about obstacles. Are you talking about physical or in-yourhead obstacles?

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Well, I think mostly the in-your head obstacles, but actually, first of all, I'm gonna tell you about some physical obstacles. I'm gonna tell you a little story about when Martin and I were on holiday um in Yorkshire quite a lot of years ago now, probably about nine or ten years. We went to stay in um a lovely village called Eam. Have you ever heard of Eam? The plague village. Yeah. Um fascinating village from a history point of view, but also very, very beautiful. Um, and um, you know, sometimes when you stay in a self-catering place, they leave some notes for you about nice places to go for walks and whatever. And there was this one that mentioned a pub that was in the next village, and it said it's a really lovely walk across the fields. So we thought it's a September evening, it's lovely, it's a nice sort of you know, dry, sunset y kind of evening. We'll walk across the fields. So there we were. I don't know, it's a couple of miles. So we walked across the fields, and on the way, everything was fine. We could see the signposts, we could see the styles, we could see, you know, where the fences were and the walls were. Really, really easy to get to the pub. So we go into this pub, I think it was called the Bull's Head. Absolutely fabulous food. We have a lovely meal, um, and chatting away. And then we suddenly remember we've got to walk back home again. And because we're walkers, we're sensible, you know, we had our head torches with us and we'd got proper boots on, you know, we weren't like doing this in flip-flops by the light of the moon. But this walk that had been really quite quick on the way suddenly became a very, very different experience. You know, we're out tipsy. We may have had a glass of wine, that's possible. Uh Martin probably had a fine Yorkshire ale or Derbyshire ale. Um, and um we would so we're out there, of course, it's pitch black because there's no street lights. Um, so the moon's peeking out. We've got our head torches on, but I don't know whether you've ever used a head head torch, but but it illuminates quite a narrow area in front of you. And suddenly it is much more difficult to find your bearings, uh, you know, to not walk into a wall or you know, to negotiate a style, or also by this point, the cows had kind of come back into the field for the night, and you could see these gleaming eyes looking at you. So obviously, we're being being careful and kind of respectful of the livestock and staying out of their way, but also trying not to tread in a cow pat, let's be honest. Um, so the journey back was much more difficult than the way there because we didn't have a clear view of the obstacles. And to me, that is quite um it's quite a kind of obvious metaphor, isn't it, for what it's like in life that you know, sometimes um that our vision uh is very narrow, like the beam on my head torch. Uh, our vision is very narrow, and and we sort of miss obstacles sometimes, or we come right up against them before we even notice they're there. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Yeah, is it sort of like you can't see the wood for the trees? Yeah, kind of, yeah. Um yeah, it makes perfect sense.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

And I think you know, sometimes you you miss obstacles because you're so familiar with them. I mean, it's funny, just before we started recording, and I hope you don't mind me mentioning this, but you were telling me that you were finally getting around to putting away your pile of laundry. Yeah. Really bad at that. So but that's I'm I'm gonna guess it'd been there for a let's say a few days, shall we?

SPEAKER_00 5:24

You could even be generous when you say a few weeks. Yeah. So my husband was wondering if I had any clothes left to wear.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

So that was a very physical obstacle, it was in your way, and yet you're kind of so used to it being there, you just work around it, don't you? You just step around it or over it.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

It was also getting in my way in my head. Okay. It's like, Lee, you will feel so much better when you put your washing away. But did I?

unknown 5:59

No.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

So sometimes obstacles are like that, aren't they? They're right in front of us, they're visible, but we kind of underestimate the impact they're having on us.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yeah. A bit like your laundry. Um, and then sometimes those obstacles, they're in your head.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yeah, that that's where I think most of my obstacles are in my head. Self-imposed. Yeah. And usually really unrealistic and and not really obstacles at all. Okay, you got an example. Well, I think I'm my own worst enemy. I I I make things harder for myself and more complicated, more complex, um I overcomplicate than the things that need to be both in work and personally. So work-wise, we used to have this well shot reward system where you could um earn points and they would be able to go towards booking a workshop. Yeah. But I made my system so complex that it would take days of admin. You know, I really do overcomplicate things, and I just put obstacles in the way, which stops me from doing the thing.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Yeah. So I think that's another really good example. So that's you you had an internal desire to create this membership program, but you wanted to make sure it worked properly. So you created an external system to do that, and actually that external system became an obstacle for you, didn't it? Because it was overly designed or poorly designed.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Yeah, I haven't exactly got a reputation for keeping things simple. Yeah. So, and I am really trying, um, as I'm getting older to do that. So that was my work thing. I my personal one, and it's could be, you know, mixed up, everything with me goes into my work life anyway. But I need to make some videos of myself to make to do some social media stuff. But I won't do it until I've had my hair done or my makeup done, or I'm wearing the right clothes, and it gets put off and put off and put off to the point where I don't get it done.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

So those are kind of self-imposed obstacles, aren't they, really? Because you're in control of all these things.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Yeah. I think most of my obstacles are mainly self-imposed. Um, and they're about me, about my thoughts and my habits and whatever. Unless you're talking about, you know, not having enough cash flow to spend, you know, money to spend on huge marketing things or props and whatever. You know, we're not, it's not unlimited. We haven't got an unlimited amount. So I'm I don't those sorts of obstacles don't really bother me because I can sort of control those. But I can't seem to control what's in my head.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

And I think a lot of us feel like that. But I mean, but I think also it's worth remembering that some of those more sort of practical points or external things, they're outside your control, aren't they? Particularly if it involves other people. Um, you know, you know what it's like when you're trying to get a meeting together, you know, with people from sort of three or four different organizations. And sometimes people's calendars can become this incredible obstacle, can't they? Just trying to get just trying to find two hours in the next two weeks where you know, four or five people can sit down and have a conversation. And you know, you can't you can't do anything about that yourself. You can't control their calendars, but you can, you know, ask questions that will help you around that. It's like, you know, how much does this matter? Do all these people need to be here? Is this meeting really important to you? You know, Joe blogs, um, you know, do you want to send somebody else instead? You know, so by taking when you're sort of really focusing in on the obstacle in front of you, like you said, you can't see the wood for the trees, you kind of miss what else might be going on around that problem, and it might be absolutely nothing to do with you know how busy this person is, it's just they're not very committed to your project, and they'd really rather somebody else came along and did it, you know. So they um when we um can identify our obstacles, we then need to kind of interrogate them a bit more and find out what's really behind it, you know, like with your laundry, what was stopping you putting that laundry away? Well, it wasn't a physical problem, it wasn't that there wasn't a chest of drawers or a wardrobe or wherever you keep your clothes. That was available. It was just it didn't matter enough to you at the time, did it, to to move them?

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Yeah, I thought it was gonna be a huge job, but it really wasn't. It took me about half an hour in the end. That's a lot of clothes. Yeah, it was like my husband said he thought, you know, because he does all the washing, bliss him. And yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

So he was just like, there can't possibly be any more washing for me to do because it's all clean and in a pile. Yeah, yeah. Does he do the ironing as well, or are you not an ironing household? Not an iron.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Well, avion does ironing.

SPEAKER_02 11:52

I love ironing. Sorry? I love ironing. Oh, I just like there is nothing like getting into freshly ironed bed linen.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Oh no, I love I love the results. I just don't like doing it.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

I don't like doing it. I think it's a good excuse to watch something though, isn't it? It's just like just have a couple of hours of pride and prejudice while I iron the duvet covers.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

Oh you iron oh okay, okay. I I do wonder how we're friends sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

Because we have complementary skills and experience. It would be boring if we were all the same. Anyway, let's get back to our obstacles. So I think some good questions to ask ourselves when we're we're sort of shining that kind of head torch of understanding onto our obstacles is to try and get to the bottom of what's going on here. What is it that is actually getting in our way? This is you know mostly with the mental obstacles, but it could work for physical obstacles too. Um and to sort of try and find out what it is that you're avoiding. You said, you know, sometimes that obstacles are sort of self-imposed. Well, there is a reason that you imposed some of those obstacles, and we just and we just need to sort of get under what that reason is. You know, it might be that it's because you're protecting yourself, uh, it might be because you just can't be bothered or something doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

I think I just look, I just stand up and I just look. So I'm not just talking about my pile of washing now. It can be anything can work or whatever. I just sit and look, or stand and look and think, I don't know where to start. Yeah. But yeah, once I start, it's it all those dots get joined and it just gets done. It's the starting with me.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

And I think that's a really good way, and you know, that's really sort of efficient that you've identified that. Because, you know, a question that I'll often ask coaching clients is where are you stuck? You know, why can't what is it that is stopping you starting?

SPEAKER_00 14:23

Yeah, and I think because I don't make things simple and I overcomplicate stuff, it becomes a chore. So, you know, with admin, you know, I used to I used to keep things in triplicate, you know, so they'd be in four or five, you know, even more sometimes, you know, four or five different places. Um and and then I could never trust what was right if I'd missed out one of those places. Yeah. That's quite scary. Yeah. So that's what I was talking about. That, you know, I'm my own worst enemy because I overcomplicate things. And I think if I if I try not to do that and just start with, right, well, let's start here. It just it you get the momentum, don't you?

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Yeah, exactly. It's like it is much easier. I'm sure we've talked about this before. It is much easier to turn the steering wheel on your car when the wheels are in motion than it is when you're parked on the driveway.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Um, you know, once you've overcome that initial inertia of getting going, then changing your course or carrying on and picking up speed or whatever are much easier, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Yeah. And I think another obstacle is, um, and I'm sure I'm not the only person that suffers from this, is it's it depends on what what it is that I'm what the obstacle is, of course, but it's like what will people think? So I'm always worried about what people will think or how will people react to it, and um, you know, whatever. Um, so that becomes an obstacle and it probably doesn't need to be an obstacle.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

And that's a really good example. When I said to you, um, you know, what are we avoiding? Um what you're avoiding is being judged. Because if you don't do it, if you don't put whatever it is out there, you can't be judged for it. Nobody can have an opinion on it if the thing doesn't exist. So that's a really good example of a mental obstacle.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Yeah, and the fear of failure as well. Like, well, if I don't try, if I don't do it, I can't fail, can I? Yeah. I am failing by not, you know, we know that in our heads, we you know, we know that, don't we? But subconsciously, it's like, well, if I don't do it, I can't fail.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Yeah. Yeah. And it is much more courageous uh to try something. It maybe doesn't work quite the way you want it to work, but you learn from that and you try again, and you change it, and you try again and try again, and you know, I can't remember who it was, was it Edison said something about I haven't failed a hundred times, I've just found 99 ways not to do it. Um, you know, so that's so it that is um a really nice way of kind of changing the way we look at the obstacle. Yeah. Yeah. Um yeah, okay. So we've talked about your uh work obstacles, we've talked about your personal obstacles. Do you think that you've ever learned something from an obstacle that you've encountered?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Yes, and I always say that I wish I could remember how it made me feel, how good it made me feel once I'd done something, once I'd have come, you know, gone over that obstacle. Because if I can remember that, I won't let it become an obstacle again. But it doesn't seem to always work like that.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

If only you had a coach who made you do reflective practice. Oh yeah, you do.

unknown 18:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

And I think I'm I think I'm better. I don't, you know, and I don't want to blame it on my ADHD or my autism, um, because I've you know, because I've not even always been like this. Sometimes, you know, sometimes I'd you know, a while ago, I'd hate a messy bedroom. I could I wouldn't be able to go to bed without my clothes being put away. Right. Yeah, so maybe I've just got lazy.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Well, although maybe that's a different obstacle. So you know, maybe that sort of feeling of I can't go to bed. You know, I'm absolutely shattered, but I and what I really need to do is go to bed. Absolutely shattered, and what I really need maybe that is uh that was another kind of obstacle where you were unable to let yourself go to bed, even though you were exhausted and that's what you really needed, um because there was a belief in you almost that you kind of didn't deserve to go to bed unless it was in a tidy bedroom and whatever. So maybe it's not laziness, it's maybe about learning okay, I don't have to be that rigid with myself, but perhaps the pendulum has swung further in the opposite direction, and maybe there's a happy medium.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

I think with me there needs to be a sense of urgency for stuff. So the sense of urgency yesterday was when I finally actually did put my washing away, um, was that I had to go hunting for a clean pair of knickers. Well, there you go. Yeah, whereas if Lee, if you just fold this pile of washing and put them in their proper homes and places, you'd be able to find your knickers.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

I feel like that should become a jingle. Um, so yeah, sometimes, you know, it's it's teaching you something. You you know, you can learn something, you know. Like you said, it's it's really nice if you can kind of capture that learning somehow. And that's why some people choose to journal, or you know, you do capture that learning. If I go back and look across your progress review forms from all your coaching sessions, and I know that you keep those, you know, you would see a whole bunch of stuff that you've learnt of obstacles you've overcome and and also how things have shifted. Things that were obstacles are no longer obstacles, you know, and then sometimes other things just pop up and things that you'd never really thought about before suddenly become an issue. I think particularly as you learn more about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Um it's not usually something I worry about having an obstacle. Um because I think I'm a problem solver.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Um, so if it's anything to do with work, I soon find um that a way to overcome that obstacle, whether it's physical or mental. It's it's more when it's about myself personally, like um overcomplicating things or or not being able to video myself because I haven't done my hair or my makeup and I'm not wearing the right clothes.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

And it's interesting, isn't it? Because what you could do there is um create a sense of urgency around making those videos. You know, you said you you like a deadline, so you know, you can Create some kind of deadline, like you know, I'm going to film them a week on Friday, therefore I need to make a hair appointment.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

Or maybe it's just that I really don't want to make them.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Well, see, what are you avoiding? There's the question, you know. So then you have to interrogate that and ask yourself, is there an alternative? You know, and if you really feel there isn't, then you have to sort of, you know, there wasn't really an alternative way for us to get home from that pub. We'd walked there, we had to walk back again. We're in the middle of nowhere. This is not a place where you get a taxi. You know, we had to just put on those head torches and and keep on walking. If you decide that making those videos really matters and making them in that way, then like you said, because you're a problem solver, you will solve that problem. You will look a hair appointment, you will now you put your clothes away, you can find out exactly what you want to wear. Um, you know, you will make it happen.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

I suppose it comes not just down to urgency, but how important something is. Absolutely. Important in the whole big scheme of things or important to you personally.

unknown 23:06

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

You know, for yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

How much something really matters. Um, you know, for some people it would be um a massive obstacle if you were scared of flying because you know, your sister lives in Australia and you really want to be able to go and see her. So you will overcome that obstacle by, you know, taking all sorts of steps, maybe going on a course about fear of flying or this, that, and the other, you know, uh to be able to do that. For other people, if you have absolutely no interest in travelling, you know, halfway across the world, um, if you are worried about the environmental environmental impact of flying, the fact that you're scared of it is completely irrelevant in your life. You know, so you don't deal with that, you just make sure you've got, you know, a jolly good bike and a train timetable or whatever for whatever your adventures are that you want to go on to. Yeah, yeah. So I do think that makes a difference, you know, the the importance, how how much you're prioritizing something. Yeah. So did you ever uncomplicate your system for the membership?

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Yeah, I just got rid of the Welsh rewards. Yeah. So stopped sort of we stopped giving them out, stopped advertising that when it was part of the membership, and then but we carried on having a few events so that people could get them used, so that they didn't lose out because that was important to us. Um, but it's it's amazing how much admin has been taken away.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

And have you had anybody say, I'm not, I'm not coming again because you don't need to be. Not a one. Yeah. Not a one.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

It was, you know, I think it's funny, isn't it, that sometimes we make things bigger in our own head, don't we, than they actually are. You know, maybe there were people that noticed that we didn't give them out or didn't have well shop reward days anymore, but nobody came to me to tell me. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

And you know, I'm sure that you are providing value and benefit to your clients in different ways. It's just not through an overly complicated loyalty scheme which you know wasn't really working.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Yeah. So that yeah. Simplifying it. Simplifying stuff has meant that there's not been that many obstacles.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Yeah. Yeah. So what I'd like to do is we've basically talked through this process without me kind of naming it step by step, but I would just like to kind of reiterate the steps so that if anybody listening to this is thinking, okay, I'd heard all that, but I didn't quite catch what I do. Sort of let's let's just go through the process. So first thing you do is you name it. So we clearly define what the obstacle is, okay?

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

And that's you know, just like the example I gave of people not being able to show up to a meeting, you know, is the problem the timing? Is the problem the people? Is the problem the commitment it's going to require? You know, sort of finding out what the obstacle actually is. Okay. And then it's a good opportunity to kind of explore the obstacle. Is this something you've always felt? Have you always felt um, you know, like you're no good at I don't know, managing people? That's a massive obstacle in your career because you know that to progress you're going to have to lead a team, but you had a bad experience once and that stayed with you. You know, um, is it an internal obstacle like you were talking about with beliefs and and habits, or is this an external one? Is it because of you know a badly designed website or a badly designed process within your business?

SPEAKER_00 27:02

And it could be an obstacle that's completely not of your making or you know, and out of your control whatsoever. And that's you have to think about that too, don't you? Because if you can't change it, then you're gonna have to, you know, find a workaround, aren't you? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

I mean, I had one client who was her retirement plans were she was uh going to go and and live in Europe when she retired. You know, then the Brexit vote happened, and that changed everything. And she really had to sort of rethink what she was going to do with that. So, like you say, that was completely outside her control.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

So then from that, you can sort of shift your perspective. Uh, you know, what might this obstacle be teaching you or telling you? Is it in some way um protecting you or guiding you? Um, sometimes obstacles can give you a new opportunity because, like you just said, you can't do A, so can you do B instead? Sometimes it's a kind of like a test of our character, um, you know, who we are as people, how are we going to overcome this particular sort of fear or limiting belief? Um, or sometimes we're going to try something else entirely. You know, one one of your strengths, Lee, is um is I think knowing that you can't do everything, that you don't have every skill on the planet, and you're really good at, you know, sort of looking for other people who might know better how to do something. You know, so you're not trying to edit this podcast yourself, you know, you're getting the genius that is Neil to do it for us. Um, because he has the skills and expertise. And sure, you could learn how to do it, but we're learning how to do this whole process of talking to each other, let alone trying to edit it.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Yeah, yeah, I don't think, yeah. Sometimes though, having an obstacle that you either have to find a workaround or you have to overcome can find give you other avenues that are more valuable and more success. So, oh no, this isn't working, so I'm gonna have to jump over that hurdle and do this, and then oh wow, that's a way better way of working or doing something. Yeah. So you you're not only learning, but you found something that's more valuable to your life or your business or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Yeah, I mean, for most of us in recent history, the biggest obstacle we've ever had to overcome was COVID. Um, and you know, the the personal impact of that on our on our families and our friends, um, the you know, impact on our on our businesses, you know, the incredible impact on our country, on the world, whatever. Um, and it did force us to do things differently, didn't it? You know, we some we were forced into a position where we had to interrogate that obstacle and say, well, what can I what can I learn from the fact I'm suddenly at home all the time, you know, or I can't just go out to the cinema or out to the pub. How do I, you know, how do I stay sane and socialize and you know safely?

SPEAKER_00 30:18

So that was one obstacle that everybody had. Yeah. And so I'm gonna compare it to a storm. So everybody was in that storm, but not everybody was in the same boat. Everybody had a different story or a different reaction. I loved lockdown. I liked being in self-isolation. It gave me a break, it gave me time to think. I still we we still carried on and did things a bit differently. I I had no problems adapting to that new situation. But not everybody was like that because everybody is different, different jobs, different, you know, family life, um, you know, different environments. So it's it's like you have to find your own way around that obstacle, don't you?

SPEAKER_02 31:12

And I think it's a very different experience, isn't it? If you were, you know, you if if you've got somewhere, if you had somewhere nice to live, if your family and your friends weren't on well, you know, and you were just sort of managing with living in a different way. For a lot of people, it was an incredibly um fulfilling and and um uh rewarding time, uh, you know, a break that people had never had before. And then there were other people who were, you know, going out to to work every day in those conditions, whether they were you know emergency services or um key workers or whatever, or you know, people sadly losing members of their family. It was a very different experience, like you say. You know, we were all in the same storm, we weren't all in the same boat. So, yeah, we all have a different perspective on those things, don't we? Yeah, yeah. So okay. So then the the fourth step is choose a response. What are you going to do? Is this an obstacle that you know you can basically just kind of walk around because it's not a very big one, or you can step over it somehow? You know, do you need somebody else to come and help you get past this obstacle? Uh, like you say, do you take a different route around it and you know you jump over a different hurdle and find yourself in a completely different situation? So, you know, you just choose something to do other than sit and look at the obstacle.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Yeah, and I I know I do sit and look at the obstacle, but only to a certain point. Um, I'm much, I'm much quicker getting off the starting gate, um, out of the starting gate when it's work, when there's a problem, and I'm, you know, uh, I've got to do this. I'm a lot slower when it's a personal thing, or it's something that doesn't have a major impact on anything. So, you know, it got to my washing wasn't, you know, hurting anybody, um, apart from making my bedroom look untidy, but it got to the point where it was having an impact. So I did have to do something.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

Yeah, yeah. And that leads nicely to the final step, which is to take one small action. Because actually, like you said, once you once you do get off the starting blocks, you're fine once you get going, you know. So if you just folded up, you know, three t-shirts and put those away in the right place, there's a really strong likelihood that you then think, oh, that wasn't too bad. I'll I'll do the socks, you know.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

I set myself sort of so I I picked up a couple of things and then my phone buzzed, and it was actually you messaging me to see if I was still all right for today. Um, but I thought I'm not gonna pick up and look at that till I've folded that little pile. Yeah. Fold that little pile, and then I looked at my phone, and then it was right. I'll start on this and start on, and then and it and it just disappeared. And then at the end, I'm thinking, why can't I just put them away as the washing is being done? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

And maybe you'll change, you know, you'll you'll change how you do it in the future. Actually, that's a really nice example though, the fact that basically, unwittingly, I distracted you while you were on a path to clearing that obstacle. So effectively, I lobbed in another obstacle, and you that you could have been taken off track by that. You could could have said, Oh, oh, it's Michelle, I'll just see what she wants. Oh, that's what she wants. Okay, I'll just respond to her. Sat down on the bed and we'd had a little chat and whatever. And then, you know, the other the leaning tower of laundry is still still there in the background. So, you know, you you you dodged that obstacle, my my distraction obstacle. You dodged that and carried on with your path. And so that's a really great example.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

I think because I'm learning a lot about myself, about the ADHD and autism, that I'm realizing that um that my biggest issue is I'm either really hyper-focused and nothing else matters, or I need to be focused. And so I'm you know, and I'm learning that, and I'm learning to, you know, okay, so I've got that big pile of papers that I need to deal with. And if I just pick one thing to do each day, it will get done. It will get smaller, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

Yeah. Okay, so just a quick recap then we name the obstacle, we explore the obstacle, we shift perspective and ask what it might be teaching us or what we could learn. Uh, we choose a response and we take one small action.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

And that is a sort of fairly simple. Uh it's a simple process, it's not easy to do, but it is a simple process that you can apply to all sorts of obstacles in life. Yeah. Okay. So it's worth remembering that obstacles aren't always our enemy. They're just kind of part of the path and they're there for a reason. Going back to my original story, you know, there are there are stone walls to protect fields and protect sheep and whatever. And, you know, they're not they're not put there to make my walk home any more difficult. They're there for a reason. Um, so I need to be uh aware of that. Uh, I need to be confident in the path that I am taking around those obstacles. Um, you know, and we're all about confidence and courage. Um, and you don't always have to face these obstacles alone. Um, you know, we have friends or colleagues that can help shine a light, like my my head torch. You know, they can shine light on the obstacle and help you see it from a different perspective. And you can use your your skills and your experience and your history, your curiosity, your interest in yourself to say, hang on a second, what's going on here? And you can always ask for other people to help you and walk along with you as you tackle obstacles, can't you?

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Well, you know, I'm one for loving and accountability buddy. Yeah, absolutely. So I have numerous accountability buddies for different things. You're the main big one, but you know, then I have you know somebody that um helps me build things for our website. So and each week I get like a prompt, yeah, and which keeps me accountable.

SPEAKER_02 37:57

Yeah, and and also you know then that if you if if you were facing a problem, if it was an obstacle you were finding difficult to to deal with, you could go back to your website person and say, I just need a bit of help. Can you give me a bit of clarity around this? You know?

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

So if you're listening to this today and you're thinking, okay, I've now got a process to work through and um I'm I'm finally going to tackle that obstacle, whether it's something in your home or something in your in your personal life or something at work. Um, I hope that you will take these prompts and use those as a way to to help you do that. Um if you'd like to tell us about it, we'd always love to hear from you. If you think it'll be useful to somebody else, please pass it on to them. If you have a moment, write us a review. Um, and um yeah, if you if there's anything you'd like to share, there's a a button on the uh on the podcast platform that you're using that will enable you to get in touch with us. So we'd love to hear from you, wouldn't we, Lee?

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Oh, I'd absolutely love to know if anybody's listening to us. What apart from Neil. Yeah, or if we're just, you know, another voice and uh on the cloud.

SPEAKER_02 39:09

So once again, whatever obstacles you're facing, I hope that we've helped you to find a way past them today. So um, well, I think that's uh everything from us for today. So I will bid you goodbye and good day.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

And it's goodbye from me from a not so sunny Clandidno today. Thanks everyone. Bye. Bye.