Kate Mason (00:00):

Have you ever wondered why you or perhaps someone close to you really drink? Is it for fun, relaxation, confidence, or something entirely different? Do you know someone that's always the life of the party? Could it be possible that beneath those laughs they're actually using alcohol to feel accepted or to cope? Have you ever woken up after a night out and thought, oh, why did I drink so much again and then brush it off? Because it's just what we all do, isn't it? When you think about your family or social circle, do you notice any patterns around alcohol that are just accepted but may not actually be healthy at all? If your a child or young person in your life asked you why you drink or why it's so normal in society, what would your honest answer be? Before we jump into today's chat, I'd like to pause and ask a bigger question.

(00:56):

We, one, we don't ask often enough, how does alcohol really fit into our lives? We celebrate with it, we unwind with it, we bond over it. But do we ever stop and ask ourselves, why do we drink? What are we hoping to feel or avoid feeling when we reach that glass of wine, that cold beer, that cocktail at the end of the long day? As a society, we normalize drinking so much that we often don't even notice when it starts to affect our health physically, mentally, and emotionally. And for many people, especially parents, there's a quiet internal struggle. My drinking isn't bad enough to need help, right? But here's the truth. You don't actually have to hit rock bottom to start asking these questions. You're allowed to reflect right now. You're allowed to be curious and sobriety. It's not a punishment or a loss. It's a brave step towards clarity, health, and knowing yourself more deeply than you ever have before. I'm Kate Mason, and welcome to Parenting and Personalities. This is the podcast that connects you to the ones you care about the most.

(02:18):

Today I have the absolute pleasure of talking again to the very funny, refreshingly honest mom of three Victoria Vanstone. Victoria Vanstone is the co-host of the wildly popular sober awkward podcast, recently crowned best wellbeing podcast at the Australian Podcast Awards and named one of UK's guardian's most cultured changing podcasts of the last 15 years. Vic began writing on the day she gave up drinking, turning her thoughts into a popular blog. Drunk Mommy. Sober Mommy. Her debut memoir, a thousand Wasted Sundays is a hilarious and heartfelt count of life before and after alcohol. Her next book, mummy, A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Parent, is out in May, 2025, and it speaks directly to the not so Pinterest perfect mums who are hiding in Audi car parts everywhere beyond podcasting and writing. Vic is a founder of Copper, a free social network supporting those questioning their relationship with alcohol. Today's conversation with Victoria is full of insight, humor, and honesty. On last week's episode, we discussed the trials and tribulations of being a mum, and this week we're going to be chatting about alcoholism and sobriety. It's not about judging alcohol use, it's about understanding it. So wherever you are on your journey with alcohol, whether it's for you or someone, I invite you to listen with an open heart. Hi, Victoria. It's great to have you back with us today.

Victoria Vanstone (03:49):

Yeah, thanks for having me on again. It's a bit of a privilege.

Kate Mason (03:52):

Yeah, thank you. Well, we are looking forward to discussing with you today, not your momming book, which is coming out soon. I'm looking forward to discussing your podcast, which is an award-winning podcast called Sober Awkward. And I'd love to know where your, well, where you're drinking began and the progress there forward to where you are today.

Victoria Vanstone (04:17):

So I'm from a family who, I would never call them alcoholics, but I would call them party people. And from a very young age, all I wanted to do was just join in the fun. I have all older siblings, so I was stealing booze out of the garage from a very young age. It was always around me either piled up in the garage or in a champagne bottle, bottles of beer all over the garage floor. So I knew that it was something that I wanted to get into

Kate Mason (04:45):

Because

Victoria Vanstone (04:46):

I just watched on as a little kid. I would change the records in the corner of my parents' lounge, and all I saw was that it made people look happy. It made them look relaxed. They're flinging their hair back, dancing to Fleetwood Mac. And I was like, wow, this is all very glamorous and lovely, and why wouldn't I want to join in? I never saw the negative sides of alcohol. I never saw my auntie Pat puking into the punch bowl at the end of the night. I never saw any of the horrible side. So I was like, gosh, this looks like fun. And if I do this, I'm going to be accepted. I've always got something to show my friends. I wanted to kind of use it as a tool in my life to show that I had a really bubbly personality. And it's unfortunate that alcohol comes along at a time, sort 13 years old, I think I was where I was unsure of the way I looked. I wanted to be more confident with boys. And it just comes along at that perfect time to sort of slot into where your coming of age years should be. It sort of slots in as part of that. And we accept that that is part of growing up. And unfortunately I just kind of from a very young age, loved

(05:58):

Well. I thought I loved it, but I loved who it made me. It kind of gave me an identity and a persona and something that I could go, Hey guys, I've stolen a bottle of wine. I've got some cigarettes come up to my place and let the good times roll so I could always be the instigator. I always had something to give, which was free cigarettes and a bottle of fruit wine. Yeah, unfortunately, I got a little bit bullied at school when I was 14. I wasn't so much a physical thing, but I experienced my two best friends never speaking to me again one day for no reason. I write a boat, I write about this in my comedy memoir, A thousand Wasted Sundays, which you can probably guess that title for many reasons.

(06:43):

And my friends never spoke to me again. And then my drinking I think changed a little bit. I think the loss and the rejection of that friendship caused a little hold to appear in my heart and alcohol became my way of filling that hole. And from then on I became a massive people pleaser because not only did I want to make friends, I wanted to keep them, and I didn't know another way of being. I was like, well, this is how I'm going to do it. I'm going to be an entertainer and I'm going to give myself away for the entertainment of others. And that led me down, I would say quite a dark path. Yeah.

Kate Mason (07:18):

So when did you realize that you were a people pleaser? And when was that? So you started drinking at 13 and was that just weekends at the time? Yeah, it was kind of

Victoria Vanstone (07:30):

Normal teenage drinking. I mean, I was always in charge. It was very, very socially acceptable. I do call myself a socially acceptable binge drinker. I don't use the term alcoholic because I've feel like I perhaps got off the party bus before it crashed.

(07:47):

So

(07:48):

Therefore, I like to normalize this use of this drug that we use very freely in our society and say, look, I was a normal, socially acceptable binge drinker. I was somebody who you wouldn't have picked out from the crowd. My habit was diluted by the people I surrounded myself with and even my family. So I wasn't the sort of drinker. We'd go, oh my God, she needs help. I was the sort of drinker where you'd go, she's a good time. Let's invite her around. She's always up for a laugh. She's a great drinking buddy. And that continued throughout my teens and my twenties. And of course, when you're drinking that heavily and being the center of the party, the main party animal, it led to promiscuity and recreational drug use. And I actually had ended up having very severe panic attacks in my early twenties from taking too much ecstasy. And I ended up being sober for a year then. And I saw this window into a different life where I was quite functional and quite happy and I didn't need alcohol for the first time. And that happened again in my pregnancies actually when I became a mom. But for the few 25 years in between that 13-year-old girl, when I realized I was a people pleaser, which I will say Kate was probably when I was 40.

Kate Mason (09:03):

Okay.

Victoria Vanstone (09:04):

A lot happened in between.

Kate Mason (09:07):

So

Victoria Vanstone (09:07):

There were red flags whipping me across the face from a very, very young age. But I chose to ignore them because alcohol had become so much my identity.

Kate Mason (09:18):

And was it really quite acceptable that you were like that as well in the environments that you are in your family environment, everybody was in that same cycle of behavior. So would you look back on them and go, many of them might actually be like you today and they just haven't changed themselves, the people that you were with?

Victoria Vanstone (09:37):

Absolutely. I mean, alcoholism is rife in one side of my family, and I did hop off that bus and got off early, but some people didn't. And it's very difficult to watch actually. And I do feel like I was lucky that I got anxiety. I know that sounds like a very strange thing to say, but eventually my anxiety after having my second child, I tried to combine this party animal lifestyle with being a mom. And as I said before, I woke up with anxiety the next day because I wasn't able to care for my child. That anxiety got so severe in my early forties. Oh, how old was I in my late thirties? I think that I had to do something about it. It was like my body crying out for help saying, please don't do this to me anymore. Now I'm not saying that I was an everyday drinker.

(10:30):

I never drank during the week. I was the perfect mum. I had the lovely wraps over my pram and I packed all the right lunches and during the week I was a picture perfect mummy. But of course there's this mummy wine culture that I was a perfect candidate for because I felt the need to numb out the ER. At the weekends I was like, God, this is boring. I'm stuck at home all week. I've got a crying baby who I loved dearly, but I felt it building up when I've had my first child. I was like, this is not who I am in this apartment with these beige walls and just me and this child. I'm a social butterfly. I should be out. So it would build up for me. I'd be a really good mummy for a few weeks. And then the mother's group would go out on a big night out and I'd be like, right, I'm in. Who's getting the shots? And I let my hair down, that's what we call it. But actually I was completely writing myself off and not capable of caring for my child the next day. And it wasn't happening all the time. It was happening once every two weeks, something like that. But I didn't know another way of being. I never stopped to look beyond the bottle and find out who I was without it.

Kate Mason (11:39):

And when you shared this experience that you've had, how many people do you find actually relate to you over this in sharing that? Are there a lot of women that you find that are in this situation?

Victoria Vanstone (11:53):

Well, I think that's why the podcast is award-winning and 5 million people have listened to it. It's because my niche is talking about this place between a pub and an AA meeting where so many people fall through the cracks and everything I do is aimed at people who have ever had a hangover. So it's such a broad spectrum, this line of alcoholism. It is very, very long. And I know I fit and sit comfortably on it somewhere, and that's okay with me. But I think there's a lot of people out there like me who didn't know they were deserving, especially moms of professional support, which I realized after waking up one morning, I'd been out for a night, the anxiety had got really bad every time I drank. And I'd been out for a night at my local pub having a few drinks, and I'd been talking to a random guy and he said, oh, where do you live?

(12:50):

I said, oh, I just live around the corner and I've got a six week old baby at home. This guy, this person I'd never met before, said, what are you doing here? Then I remember just sobering up straight away, going home, waking up the next morning with terrible anxiety thinking, I am not solving this problem on my own. I'm getting terrible anxiety every time I drink. And no matter if I have water between wines or fish on a Friday or all of these ridiculous things that I'd tried, I am still getting this anxiety. And I realized it was my body saying, don't do this anymore. And I walked into the lounge and I said to my husband, I think I need help. I actually think I need somebody to help me stop doing this. And I booked myself into therapy that day and I ended up having 12 weeks of therapy and walked out of there seven years ago going, I'm never ever going to drink again. Of course, I didn't realize that was an option when I went in. I just thought, can you teach me how to drink properly? But very quickly, I learned when she said, why are you here? It was like, well, actually I have a problem with alcohol.

(13:56):

And it was quite an epiphany for me to say that out loud and go, that is why I'm sitting in a therapist's office right now is because I'm a mother of two and I'm stressed and I now have a problem with alcohol. It's not severe and it's not somebody that you'd imagine an alcoholic looks like who's kind of passed out in their own vomit on the floor with a baby crawling over them, which did probably happen occasionally. But I wasn't your perfect example of what the drama is around alcoholism. I was not that. I was a very average mom that wanted to let her hair down at the weekends.

Kate Mason (14:34):

And I think we as a society and Australians as well, don't mind the binge weekends, they, oh no, I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink on weekends. And we've also got a, I dunno about in England, but there's definitely a glass of wine to unwind every night at dinnertime and oh no, I'm not an alcoholic. And it is that reliance. So what to you defines being an alcoholic? Is it a reliance on wine or alcohol to make you feel good or is it an overindulgence? Because some people, like you say you weren't drinking every night, you were binge drinking on the weekend. So for you, what do you define it as?

Victoria Vanstone (15:15):

I define it as anybody who has ever had any negative impact from alcohol, if it's impacting your life in a negative way, I don't use that term alcoholic, but it perhaps means if you are lying in bed on a Sunday morning and questioning your behavior and questioning why you keep drinking more than everybody else and why you last man standing on the dance floor and all these things that go around our heads when we are hungover, if you are questioning your alcohol intake, it means you're sober curious and that you are questioning why you drink. And for me, those questions in the end became so loud that I had to find answers because I wasn't solving my own problems. So it became that I had to reach out for help. And I think there'll be so many people out there that are questioning but don't feel like it's bad enough because you are not lying on that park bench clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels.

(16:06):

You go, well, I'm not that so I'm all right Jack, I'll just carry on being me. But I think there's not enough questioning in our society about why we drink. And the reason I really drank was because I was sad and because I had been through a few traumas and because I didn't know who I was without it and sobriety, I've realized in the end it isn't about alcohol at all. It's not about how much I drink, whether it was one glass of wine every night or 10 pints of stellar on a Saturday, it wasn't about that. It was about who came before alcohol before that 13-year-old girl and discovering who comes after it because that is the journey that is fascinating. I didn't know that there was this person that could write or do a podcast or be a functional human citizen of this world.

(16:51):

I just thought I was destined for the trash heap, just somebody who's a party animal, and that's all I've got going for me is just being this kind of reliable drinking buddy. But as soon as I started to seek the answers to the questions that were going around in my head when I was hungover was when I was able to understand that it's not about booze and there's nothing now more satisfying and more empowering than stepping into those old situations that I used to go into a nightclub or a bar or a dinner party even where I used to kind of just drink to blackout is stepping into those situations now is just knowing that I have my own back and that I trust myself and that I'm going to be authentic and I'm going to walk away from that dinner party with my head held high rather than sort of bowed low in shame because I've said something or done something wrong. So it's all, alcohol isn't about what we think it's, do you know what I mean? It's not about just getting wasted and isn't it fun? And now I feel relaxed. It's about learning. Sobriety is the opposite. It's about learning who you are without it, and that is just a wonderful thing.

Kate Mason (18:01):

Yeah, that's really profound and true. And so curious, should people be sober curious? Is that something that if someone is drinking a listener or they know somebody who's a friend of theirs the next day waking up and thinking all of those things, is that a term you've come up with? Because I think that's a great term. So when you actually start being curious about what you are actually doing the night before,

Victoria Vanstone (18:27):

It's a term that was coined by a lady called Ruby Warrington. She wrote a book called Sober Curious. It's a good one to get out of the library if you get mine as well. It's about anyone who has ever questioned their behavior or kind of felt like they don't understand why they drink anymore. So it's anyone who wants to look at it, and sometimes you don't need to look at it as an issue or a problem, but to look at it from a health perspective can be quite, make it a little bit softer. I find that term is more like a warm hug than alcoholic. Alcoholic is like, I'm going to put you in a box. You are this and I am this. And actually that stops people getting help. I never went to aa, but I didn't want to go because I didn't feel like that person. So it stops people going, I have a problem with alcohol, because they don't want to be part of that term. They don't want to be acknowledged as that. So this term, sober curious, allows people like me who were stuck in that place between the pub and an AA meeting, but still struggling to reach out and go, okay, this is who I am. I identify as somebody who's interested in looking at my habits and whether they're good for me or not. And it can be as simple as that.

Kate Mason (19:48):

And so really if we are watching someone that we worry about and we think is headed down the alcoholic track and we tell them what we think, does that push you further away? The person that's drinking, this is a self-learning journey of course, and that's what happens. So does an outsider have any influence on that or was it your decisions solely? Do you wake up and just go? No. So if your husband was worried or people around you were worried and they said things to you, did that matter and did that have an effect? Or was it really just the fact that really you end up with overwhelming anxiety and that's what through it?

Victoria Vanstone (20:33):

Funnily enough, Kate, that is the main question. We get emailed at Sober Awkward, what can I do? My partner still drinks. What do I do? What do I say? For me, it had to be coming from me. And actually one of the biggest moments I had in sobriety was understanding that my drinking habit was my responsibility. It may have been partly generational, partly trauma, partly environmental, partly cultural, all of these things. But those were the things that made me drink. It was going to be up to me to make the choice not to anymore because I realized it was me waving that fiber at the barman. It was my arm coming from my body to reach for that bottle of wine in the fridge. It was all coming from me, therefore, the responsibility was going to be on me to stop. But it is such a hard question, and for me, I totally agree with what you said.

(21:27):

It did have to come from me. But of course, there are ways that you can talk to somebody that you love. It has to come from somebody you love. It can't come from a stranger who says, oh, what's wrong with you? Now you're boring. And one for the road and all that bollocks. Just ignore that person. They're not really your friend. But if somebody that you love, I think for me, if that had happened, somebody that I had loved sat down and said, look, have you thought about looking at your drinking habit? Because I'm worried about your health. I think coming from a health perspective can really soften the blow a little bit rather than going, I think you have a problem just saying that I worry about your health. Listen to the Sober Awkward Podcast. Add it to the WhatsApp group.

Kate Mason (22:06):

Absolutely.

Victoria Vanstone (22:07):

If you listen to that from the start, I think we've got 200 episodes out there now.

Kate Mason (22:11):

People

Victoria Vanstone (22:12):

Reconsider their drinking habits from listening to us. And because it's a comedy podcast, we use our humor to kind of prick the ears of people that wouldn't normally tune in. And Hamish who I do the podcast with, he's a 3-year-old dad, and I asked him to give up drinking for the podcast. So not only do we log the journey of someone who perhaps had a drinking problem, but we also log the journey of someone who's given up for the health benefits and everything that happens with them. He's your normal lad drinker who never used alcohol in any negative way. He's a very extroverted guy. And his journey has almost been more fascinating because it just shows that your life can change even if you don't feel like you have a problem. And his work has changed, his health has changed, his habits have changed, and it's just boosted everything in his life. His sobriety, he's nearly a thousand days now. I think his wife has lost a bit sad with me for her drinking, losing her little drinking buddy, but yeah, changed my husband, still not drinking because of you.

Kate Mason (23:17):

Has it changed her life? You might discuss that during your episodes. So would it have changed her life for the better or has she really lost a drinking partner? I mean, often people don't like that when something happens like that because they do lose perhaps what was a person that they knew. Do you get what I mean?

Victoria Vanstone (23:34):

But when have you ever hung out with someone that's better when they're drinking? I mean, that's the reality of the situation. She listens to the podcast so she knows that now him drunk as a dad is not helpful to her. Hung over as a dad is not helpful to her, but he's not hung over anymore. So she sees the benefits in that, and I think most people do. And I think we focus too much on that momentary one glass of wine that really short-lived euphoria that we're aiming for. And I realize that I can get that now with a glass of fizzy water. And it's not about, I think alcohol gets a lot of credit for a night out, and it's not about that. It's about your friends, the ambience, how you feel going into the situation. A lot of the anxiety for me socially was me being scared whether there was going to be enough drinks there or it wasn't about my friendships or about the music and the place where we were.

(24:26):

It was more about how many drinks I was going to get down my neck. So I think she's finding it good. My husband's given up drinking now as well. I never told him to. He's just heard me waffle on about it far too much. And I think that's the best thing we can do as any sober person, which is why I have no shame about my drinking past and why I'm able to talk about it. Because socially and governmentally, even though that's not a word, it's coming at us from a very young age. And it was coming at me like that 13-year-old child. It was like arrows in every direction and I couldn't have avoided it. It was something that I grew up with and then moved on to ladette culture and then Australian culture, and then drinking culture. When I was traveling in Thailand, everywhere I went, this culture was kind of packed into my backpack with me. I feel no shame or regret about any of that because I never had a choice. And perhaps as parents out there, the one thing I always say when I chat about this, especially in terms of being a mom, is that perhaps I didn't have a choice growing up. And by me now having an alcohol free house and my husband not drinking, perhaps my children will have a choice.

(25:36):

And I'm not stupid. I don't think they will never drink. I think that would be too much to hope. But I hope they have a choice.

Kate Mason (25:46):

And as we know, children do model parents. Paul and I never drank at home, and our kids were actually pretty reasonable. I'm sure there was some sneaky times. Absolutely. And as young adults now, they're pretty good. And I think that they would go around to other people's places and people had alcohol at the table and they'd come home and say, why don't you have a wine at night? And I'd just say, well, I don't need one. You don't need one. Dad doesn't need one. This is how it works. But let's not say we're safe because that doesn't create safety. But I think rather than them seeing us, oh, well, we need one to relax, whatever, I do think that there is a certain amount of modeling around that as well.

Victoria Vanstone (26:27):

Yeah, absolutely.

Kate Mason (26:28):

How did it change your parenting then moving forward?

Victoria Vanstone (26:31):

Well, I think I also realized that I was drinking the messaging. I mean, they were very young when I gave up. So I'm seven years sober and my oldest is 13, so they wouldn't really even remember, but I think I realized that it was, the messaging was that Mommy needs a wine to deal with you. Mommy needs a wine to cope with your behavior. Mommy needs a wine to be a mum. And that is really toxic messaging that is being flooded on our socials and every TV show, everything we see, we normalize that for moms. And I think I'm trying to, I dunno, you have to talk into me in 10 years when I've been through the teenage years, but I'm just trying to show them that there's a different way, and my parenting has most certainly changed because I get up in the morning now, I go to my bootcamp, I have a podcast, I write books.

(27:21):

I have a successful career, and I'm happier. I'm not happy all the time. It's not all rainbows and farting, unicorns and all that sort of thing. It's hard some days, but at least I'm conscious to witness my failures and my successes. Whereas perhaps before I would've numbed them out and they see that I totally agree with you, they're absorbing that behavior. And I couldn't be more proud to be a sober mom. It's something that I love talking about because it changes your life. You will never regret going sober. It changes everything. You have this clarity of mind. I never thought I could write a blog or even I failed at English. I was rubbish. But suddenly my brain started working again properly. It was like a dormant volcano for so many years. Nothing was going on apart from who's bringing the ice, the slice and the bottle of PIs, I didn't care about anything else. So it's so lovely to know that I have a brain that is functional and that I can live a normal life and not have to rely upon alcohol as this kind of social crutch anymore. It's lovely.

Kate Mason (28:24):

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure that this will really impact a lot of people and it will impact people who like myself. Look, I am often someone to say, oh, look, please do you need to drink tonight, this type of thing. And I understand the stresses that I put on people, so really I'm better to shut up. Is that correct?

Victoria Vanstone (28:45):

No, be open. Be open. Talk about it. Yeah. People don't invite me out as much. No. Yeah, that's the problem. Do the social life doesn't it? A little bit. I don't mind it though.

Kate Mason (28:55):

I know, but I'm really naughty. I go out my family in the middle of the week and I say, there's no drinking. It's midweek. No one's having anything. And they go, oh, you're so bussy, and you put in rules and none the rest of it. But it doesn't bode well the next day. I just don't think it's a great situation to be in. So I mean, sharing your situation is amazing. And I'm sure that if we have the listener listening and there's someone they'd like to forward this podcast to or share with somebody, that would be amazing. Because if you're sitting there and you are, what's your word? Not alcoholic, what are you

Victoria Vanstone (29:31):

Curious?

Kate Mason (29:32):

You're sober, curious, and you need to find something out. Then there's a podcast so awkward sitting there at your book. So was it 10,000,

Victoria Vanstone (29:41):

A thousand wasted Sundays a thousand

Kate Mason (29:43):

Wasted Sundays. So how many years is that?

Victoria Vanstone (29:45):

That was 25 years. It was 25 years of hangovers. And that wasn't including the Cheeky Tuesdays and the two for one Thursdays.

Kate Mason (29:54):

And so is that as humorous as your dialogue? Dialogue

Victoria Vanstone (29:58):

Now? It's all comedy. Yeah. I try to tell always a story with some bad British toilet humor.

Kate Mason (30:05):

It's

Victoria Vanstone (30:05):

Always my aim.

Kate Mason (30:06):

Yep. And I think that's great too though, because I love to read a humorous book. I think it's great when someone can put a different projection on something and not make it so serious and glum that you're feeling depressed and sad after you've kind of read it.

Victoria Vanstone (30:20):

But I also share the dark sides. I think that is so important. There's one chapter you'll get, which is me having a laugh and dancing and being with all my friends and living this amazing life, and the next chapters a tsunami, or I was in a cult for a bit, or then all of these. It's a real rollercoaster ride my book. And I give this impression a lot of time, like, Vic, oh my God, I didn't realize that happened to you. It's like, yes, this is the stuff that happened, but it happened because I wasn't in control of my own actions very often. And it does mean I've had a lot of adventures and I do have a lot of good stories now. So actually my drinking years have allowed my career to unfurl as it has. So if I hadn't have had them, I wouldn't be sitting here with you now. That's right. I'm just grateful.

Kate Mason (31:04):

Got to be grateful. Come out the other side. Amazing stories, and now an amazing life. And as you say, messing momming doesn't really matter as long as you're not drinking and you're still full of humor, and you can forgive your own mistakes and ask your children for forgiveness. And yeah, I really appreciate you sharing your story. That is fabulous. Thank you so much for being here with us. And just a quick thing on where people can find you, again,

Victoria Vanstone (31:33):

My original blog that I wrote when I gave up drinking is called Drunk Mummy, sober Mummy, and that is also my Instagram handle. Sober Awkward is available on all good podcast platforms and on my website, which is sober awkward.com, you can find all sorts of tools to help you get sober and stay sober. But alongside that, I always recommend a good old dose of therapy. Professional support is always the way to go, and I think, is that about it? Yeah. The book is A thousand Wasted Sundays, and my new book Momming is out on the 1st of May. So yeah, I think my final message to anyone that's sitting at home thinking about their drinking habits is that you are deserving of help. And there are all different levels of help out there for everybody, and it's just a matter of going to your GP and they will give you a referral and you can say, look, I'm not happy with my drinking habits. Whether that's that one glass of wine a day or that one glass of wine a year at a barn dance, it doesn't really matter. You are deserving of seeking answers to your questions.

Kate Mason (32:35):

Thank you for those wise words. What a wonderful way to finish. Thank you much for being my guest today.

Victoria Vanstone (32:40):

Thank you. Thank you.

Kate Mason (32:49):

Well, what a refreshingly honest and powerful conversation. Victoria's story reminds us that the relationship we have with alcohol doesn't always need to be black and white. It's often wrapped up in our identity, our social lives, and need to belong, and sometimes even our deepest insecurities. But what stood out for me in this is that you know what? You don't have to wait for a crisis to start questioning. Being sober, curious doesn't mean you've failed. It means you're brave enough to pause and ask, is this actually serving me? So maybe it's you or someone close to you. The good news is change doesn't have to start with a dramatic intervention. It can start with a question, a moment of quiet reflection or simply sending your friend or the person you know this episode. So if today's chat sparked something in you, stay curious. Grab a book like the book, sober Curious, tune in to the Sober Awkward Podcast or simply start talking about it.

(33:53):

Sometimes one honest conversation is all it takes to start something life changing. Thank you for listening to Parenting and Personalities. If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love it if you could leave a rating and a review that would help others learn about the podcast. If you are interest in discovering more about you and your family's personality types, you'll find my book, who Is This Monster or Treasure, my House on Booktopia or Amazon. If you have an episode idea, please send a note to the Personality coach@gmail.com. And many thanks to our producers at Stories and Strategies. We'll see you next time.