“Sweet-Fire” - The Podcast
How to survive the flame when what attracts you burns
“Sweet-Fire” - The Podcast
“Started Off Sweet - Ended In Smoke”
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The spark feels perfect—sweet words, a soft touch, the thrill of new attention—but why does it so often end in smoke? We open up about how attraction can hijack our senses, nudge us into secrecy, and distract us from the people and work that keep us whole. From the first dizzy days to the slow fade of broken promises, we name the warning signs that turn romance into a house on fire.
Together we draw a clear line between love and lust, devotion and addiction. We unpack one‑sided relationships, why they’re so hard to quit, and how compulsion disguises itself as loyalty. Then we get practical: the “burning building” metaphor that helps you exit clean, the no‑contact sprint that steadies your mind, and simple reality checks that keep you from running back for “one more look.” We also talk about secret ties, the isolating gravity of allure, and how to rebuild a life that doesn’t bow to the next hit of novelty.
The heart of the conversation is worth. Solitude becomes a studio for self‑knowledge, not a punishment. We share affirmations and daily practices that lift your baseline—rest, movement, prayer or meditation, creative focus—so your standards stop wobbling when charm knocks. Healthy love holds up in daylight, makes room for family and work, and tells the truth even when it’s not glamorous. If a bond shrinks your world or thrives on confusion, call it what it is: a fire. You’re allowed to leave, to heal, and to choose sweetness that doesn’t end in smoke.
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How to survive the flame and what attracts you burns. Wow. How to survive the flame when what attracts you burns. You know, relationships start off sweet. Relationships between people, couples, usually they start off sweet. But a lot of times they end in smoke. They end uh in failure. They end in heartbreak. They end in disappointment. They start sweet. For many reasons, as we discussed on last week. They start sweet because you know that individual may smell good. Their voice may be charming. Their touch may be, you know, exactly what your appetite is. It may be gentle, it may be soft. Uh the look, uh, the look could be deceiving. It looks sweet, it tastes sweet, but it ends in smoke. That is really something to think about. We're going to share a little bit uh on how sweet fire, the podcast, the mantra is how to survive the flame when what attracts you burns. And I'm going to uh hand it over to my co-host, uh Intercessor Janina Cole. I'm your host, Dr. Lydia Michelle Young. This is midweek refreshing fire. Um, and we do have a midweek word uh designed to refresh you and to remind you of your worth. So come on, jump in, uh intercessor, and let's talk about it. Good evening, everyone. Yes, uh relationships in the beginning they are very exciting, they're very appealing, you know. They they can be even rejuvenating. That there's that spark there, you know, upon the newness of relationships, and especially those intimate relationships, right? Hence the excitement in preparing, you know, for that first day, the excitement and you know that comes with the anticipation of that first phone call to be made, you know, that first text message. That's how a lot of relationships start in the beginning. Oh, but when you know, the deceiver, if you will, is involved in that relationship, how the excitement that once was begins to slowly dwindle and even go away. Right. How does one handle that? How does one go from, you know, being high up on that roller coaster, just excited, and you know, just want everybody to know about the newness of this relationship, and then that quick dip comes. Even the excitement you want everybody, you want people to know, right? This is your new book, right? This is your new man, this is your new lady, but then there's so many secretive relationships. You know, what about the uh the sweet, the secret sweetness of the relationships as well, you know? Um, and and when we when we're attracted, when a person is attracted to someone, when a person is attracted, because we talked about uh, you know, sweet fire is relational in any type of relationship. It doesn't necessarily, and we understand, have to be with an individual. It could be with a substance, it could be with a liquid, it could be with money, it could be with a sugar daddy, somebody that you're not really into, but you into the money. Right. We just want to talk about some real things. So when we're attracted, when that attraction's there, what happens? Our senses are are teased, our senses are messed with. What we see. Well, yeah, they're heightened. They're heightened what we see, what we smell, what we feel. Uh you know, it's like being hijacked. It's like my eyes or that person's eyes being hijacked by that attraction. You know, my ears, a person's ears being hijacked, your senses now being hijacked or being tricked or being robbed of the truth of reality. Man, that that's something when you think about it. I know myself, I've been in some situations where there was an attraction there, and then I found myself, there was a flame, there was a spark. My God, but again, I got burnt. Right. I got hurt, disappointed, uh, because not everyone will value your heart, your feelings, your thoughts, your emotions, your body, your valuables. Everyone, everyone is, especially those who there, you know, purposely, there's no real intention for you to come together. Right? A lot of times we get ourselves involved in relationships and we have no business being involved. That's where the flame comes. That's where that's where the fire comes. Um, I'm not talking about uh the fire and desire where everything is good. I'm talking about the flame that burns us when we're attracted, when our when our senses are hijacked because of that attraction. Right, right. And, you know, um, yeah, I like how you use the word hijacked, right? Because you oftentimes, you know, that new relationship and even that wrong relationship, going back to what you said, you know, a lot of secret relationships, those secret relationships, what do they do? They they hijack you in order to distract you. They hijack you in order to distract you. You know, there's relationships that people become so consumed in these, you know, relationships to where they uh they find themselves being so distracted and then eventually separating from families, separating, you know, uh from good co-worker relationships, you know, just there's those kinds of relationships, they cause some type of distraction and separation. You know, one who is so valuable uh on their job, valuable in that field, you know, they they're so distracted and so caught up in the newness and the excitement and the alluring of that of that relationship, their work begins to fall off. They find themselves getting called into that that supervisor's office, that boss's office, not to be celebrated, but to be, you know, be to be asked the question, what's going on? Because I noticed that you're not as invested, your work is is falling off. It's not what it used to be, you know, right. Big time distractive. Okay. So what we're talking about smells, right? Right. I like the way you brought that out. Smells, you know, the attraction is a distraction. Yeah. In many cases, the smell, uh, the sound, the touch, those uh those senses that that hook us. Now we on a hook. Right. Now we're caught up. Right. You know, and it's hard to let go. But then we talked about uh how it starts sweet but ends in smoke. Yes. Right? Because even that individual, we we're gonna talk about those addictive relationships, even that individual that we find ourselves addicted to, or we've have found, because I'm not there anymore. We found ourselves addicted to that person may not uh being so uh uh sincere as you. So the love that you're given, you're not getting in return. Uh you know, the time you're that you want to invest, you're not getting that time in return. Um, and so that person and what you're attracted to them and you're so into them, but then they start to disappear, they start to pull back um the you know, broken promises. Right. You have to deal with failed expectations, and it and those types of ordeals, I mean, they hurt. This smoke that we're talking about in this smoke is not a great feeling, right? You know, it it it it's painful. It it hurts when you are into someone and some that someone is how does that song go? Somebody can't think of the words. Yeah, oh no, that's when somebody loves you back. It's so good. Oh, okay. Somebody loves you back. Okay, okay. Um, but what about when they don't? And that's something that we deal with as um as women, men deal with it, youth get caught up, right? That brings me to you know, young girls, you know, having conceived where's the father of that child, and having to raise a baby, and you still a baby, right? Why, because it was sweet, but my god, it ended in smoke. Come on, right, jump in on that. Yeah, absolutely. Um, those uh uh those are one-sided relationships, those are one-sided relationships, and there's a lot of people walking around, you know, in those one-sided relationships, and the kicker of it is they know, they know that they're more invested in that relationship than you know their counterpart. But yet the the the love that they feel that they have for that person, that you know, that genuine love, it it won't allow them to walk away, it won't allow them to make you know that that that right choice for themselves because they find themselves so entangled in that relationship. So the question truly is is that love or is that lust? Is that love or is that lust? Because a lot of people they get the two mixed up, they get it twisted. It's easy to do that. It's so easy to do that. It's easy to do that. It's easy to do that. It's easy to get it together. Because if if you're if you're in a one-sided relationship and you know it's one-sided, you know you're more invested in that relationship than your counterpart. You find yourself being the giver all the time, never on the receiving end. You find yourself wanting to be around that person all the time, but that person can go, you know, uh a day, a week, a month, and they don't have to be around you, right? Is that truly love? Is that truly love, or is that what we are calling it? It's an addiction. An addiction is not love, addiction is lust. Addiction, right. Addiction, really, when you really study that term, uh, you know, even in the ancient original thought, addiction is when you it's like selling or being sold. You sell yourself over to that, to that person, or to that thing, or to that drug, or to that drink, or to that that, you know, that lifestyle. Right. You it's being you sell yourself over to it. You begin lusting for it, you begin to lust for that person, you begin to lust for that substance. Right. And so we talk about uh how to survive the flame, uh, how to survive these types of flames, how to survive, how to make it out, how to come through, how to pull through, how to gain strength and not creep back, right? Not creep back one. Oh my goodness. We use uh a burning building as a metaphor for a relationship. We use a burning building as a metaphor for a relationship between two people, uh uh or that person and that their addiction, whether it's uh we talked about drugs. It's so many different things you could be addicted to. Yeah. Um my goodness. Um, and we'll talk about you know, sugar daddies and what that means, and you know, what that term means, you know, um, and and vice versa, and uh being really after a person's money, being after their wealth, being after, you know, what their possessions are, and not really being into that person, you're after what they have. But we're using a burning building as a metaphor for all of these uh ideas. So once you leave a burning building, once you leave that relationship that wasn't beneficial to you, um we admonish you, and we'll provide some steps on how to do this, to not return back. Right, don't say one more time, one more look, one more touch. We have to get to a reality shift and realize our own worth, our own value. Yeah, and not oh, not be sold over um because of how that person may look outside. Internally, they're they're they're they don't have the look, but externally, you know, they they have the look inside. There's some things that are off, not right, they're wrong, um, and they're not for you, they're not a good fit for you. Um and that's that that's the that's the key, you know, if um on how to not return to the burning building. It's it's finding your worth. It's in finding your worth. And and the key, you know, because somebody can be tuning in on this evening and you truly do not know your worth. You hear, you know, people say, Oh, you need to find your worth. I had to find my worth, I had to, you know, come to know myself. I had to get to know and understand that I'm valuable and I have something to offer. But your question has been, okay, how does that happen? How did you find your worth? How can I find my worth? And the answer is spend time with yourself. Spend time with yourself. Get comfortable with spending time with yourself. I, over the years, you know, I had to learn that. It's been some years now, and you know, I'm very comfortable now, thank God, with being with myself, spending time with myself. That's how one gets to understand and come into, you know, the knowledge, the truth of their work. We have to get to the place to where we're comfortable with ourselves. We're comfortable, you know, being set apart from the crowd. We're comfortable with not fitting in with what we may see and deem to be, you know, the popular the popular crowd, if you will. You have to get comfortable with you, getting to know you. And that's the key with being able to leave that burning building and be comfortable with exiting, with leaving that burning building. That's how one finds one's worth. Get to know you and be comfortable with spending time with you because you are worth it. You're worth it. And so these little power words here uh, you're worth it, you're valuable, you're unique, you're amazing. Shoot it out. You're wrong, you're come on! You're worth it, you're special, you're valuable, you're amazing, you're fantastic. There's nobody like you, you're uniquely and wonderfully made. That's it. So, with that being said, peace be to you, peace be to your house, and peace be to all you have.
