A Necessary Rebroadcast: Stop Romanticizing The Burning Building

It can feel harmless to take one last look, send one last text, or go back for one more conversation, but we call it what it is: walking back into a burning building. Dr. Lydia Michelle Young and Intercessor J’eanine Nichole unpack why toxic relationships often start off sweet and end in smoke, and how attraction can hijack your senses until you ignore what your spirit and your gut already know. If you’ve ever felt pulled toward someone or something that kept harming you, you’ll recognize the cycle immediately.

We talk about the danger hidden inside “one more time,” and how replaying old memories can become mental intoxication that poisons your thoughts, your emotions, and your choices. We connect self-worth to survival, because when you remember your value, you stop negotiating with abuse, manipulation, and relapse triggers. We also widen the lens beyond romance, naming toxic family patterns, unhealthy friendships, and workplace relationships that drain you the same way.

You’ll hear practical steps for healing and leaving: setting firm boundaries, letting yourself grieve without turning back, examining what pain is still unhealed, and quietly planning your exit with a clear reason to leave so you can live. We end with a tool we want you to keep close, your fire extinguisher: identifying your strengths and exercising them until you take control back. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a midweek reset, leave a review, and tell us what boundary helps you stop looking back?

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Transcript

weet Start Smoke Ending Recap

SPEAKER_00 0:02

It started off sweet and ended in smoke. It started off sweet. I've been in some situations where it seemed great. It seemed sweet. It was a beautiful situation. It appeared that way. It seemed sweet. But it ended in smoke. And that's what we talked about on last week here on Sweet Fire the Podcast. How it started off sweet. That relationship started off sweet, but then it ended in smoke. We also shared about how the attraction, as you know, the mantra here, our mantra here is how to survive the flame, when what attracts you burns. How to survive the flame again when what attracts you burns. And how uh that attraction hijacks that attraction actually hijacks our senses, our eyes, what we see. It hijacks our senses, our smell, our nose, how it, you know, we like things that sit smells. We like people that who smell good, who's it's attracting, it's luring those smells, those touches, uh, the taste, even. It's alluring. It it lures us in. Uh it's like my magnetic. A lot of times we feel like it's they're irresistible. So we're going to jump in here uh and and talk a little bit more about how uh to avoid creeping back to that burning building. Remember, last week we said that the burning building is really a metaphor for a relationship, a relationship that really uh is not purposeful, a relationship that really wasn't intended for your life, a relationship that really uh caused you some trauma and some drama and some trouble and some affliction and some heartache and some pain in your life. We want to talk about it. This is uh again, Sweet Fire of the Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Lydia Michelle Young, here with my co-host, Intercessor Janine Nicole. Today is Wednesday, it is the middle of the week. This is a midweek word to refresh you, a midweek word to remind you of your worth. So come on, intercessor, jump in and greet the people. How are you today? I'm doing good. Good evening, everyone. I like how you uh ended that uh uh refreshing fire, middle of the week word to remind you of your worst. You know, I like that. Yeah, remind you of your worth, and that's the key. That's the key with you know avoiding returning to the burning building. You know, that's the key on avoiding running back. That's the key on uh uh avoiding looking back, that's the key to move forward, you know, to press ahead is coming to know your works. Yes. So good evening once again, everyone. Looking forward to to diving in, continuing from uh last week with uh with the topic on this evening. Yeah, that's it. Oh I want to go, I want to go back. I'm not going back to the burning building, but I want to go back to how we ended uh last week uh to remind you of your work. And some words, some power words came uh directed to you to remind you, you the listener, of your work, that you are amazing. Come on, help me. You're amazing, you're powerful, you're unique, yeah, and wonderfully made. You're strong, you're intelligent, you're beautiful inside and out. You're one of a kind. There is nobody like you. There is no one that can do what you can do but you. Right. My goodness. So you you you have a capacity, you have an ability, you have a fire on your life. Uh that that we talked about that in San Any Forum, that goes beyond just your household. It goes beyond uh barriers, it goes beyond your state, your city, your your block. It goes beyond what's on you, who you are, your true identity is so unique, it's so phenomenal, it's so amazing. I really don't even have the words in my vocabulary to express to you how beautiful, how uh unique you are. I'm talking to both men and women. I'm talking to young people, I'm talking to everybody tuning in to the and you can uh share this word with somebody that you who you know who may be feeling a little down, who may be discouraged, who may uh have low self-esteem, who may be troubled, who may be really struggling with identifying who they are. Why don't you text them and let them know you are powerful and and everything in your life is gonna work out because you will come to know your worth. And so we want to avoid creeping back to that burning building, that relationship that caused us pain. And we want to share on how to save your feelings. Don't creep back if it was toxic, don't creep back. If you were abused, don't go back. You talked about it, don't look back. Those are words you just spoke, intercession. Don't don't look back. Sometimes, even in my life, uh in relationships that I had no business being in, I I I looked back. I need I I wanted to look one more time, I wanted to talk one more time, I wanted to have that visitation one last time. You ever spoke those words? Anyone listening? You you ever so said that? Oh, just one more time. One more time. Let me let me let's do it one more time. One more time. There's a danger in that one more time. Come on, Jennifer. Absolutely, there's a danger in that one more time, and I'm glad that you you touched on that because though those emotions, like those one more time thoughts, those one more time, you know, feelings, those are traps. Those are traps, and oftentimes they're deadly traps. You know, we talked about it even before uh uh uh coming on this evening. You know, you said how uh many people they had that you know that thought of one last one more time and they went back, they went back to that burning building and they it was literally their last time. They didn't make it out of that burning building. Why? Because they went back to an abusive relationship, they went back to that drug, they went back to that alcohol, they went back to that neighborhood, they went back to that community, they went back to the toxicity, and a lot of times those emotions, those thoughts, people, they are traps, they are traps, and when we entertain, when we go, you know, into those traps, when we go into those danger zones, we are trespassing. When we go into those danger zones, we are trespassing. I like that, you know, I like that thought. Yeah, trust trespassing. Actually, you're you we when we go back, when we back, when we you know push the rewind button, when we backtrack, when we go back, we actually leave from up under the covering. We we leave from our out of our rightful territory. Now we're on, oh my goodness, now we're on dangerous ground because we've crept back. And many of us at one point or another have crept back to that burning building, to that toxic relationship, to that abusive man, abusive man or that abusive woman. We crept back, we went back for one more taste, one more touch. Oh my goodness, one more, you know, lie because it's deception there. Some of us survived. We made it out of the burning building, right? But many have lost their lives because they went back to that burning building. And today, again, uh, it's about how to share with you thoughts and steps on how to save your feelings. When a person's feelings get crushed, man, there's suicidal ideation creeps in. There's a deep depression that's hard to fight. Save your life, save your soul. Come on, intercessor, get on and save your life, save, save your life, you know. Remembering, remembering how it feels, you know, rehearsing those feel-good memories, rehearsing those feel-good thoughts, those are mental traps to intoxicate you. Those are mental traps to intoxicate you because when you stay on those thoughts too long, you become so intoxicated with remembering the touch. You become so intoxicated with remembering how that drug makes you feel. You become so intoxicated with remembering how that drink made you feel. You know, it's those mental entrapments, those mental thoughts we have to overcome. Because a lot of times those toxic relationships that many of us can attest to have been who have been in in you know, in our past, a lot of times those toxic relationships, that one that we were in that relationship with, they're not thinking about us like that. They're not picking up the phone to try to reach out to us. So why do we reach out to them? Why do we, you know, uh uh uh uh cross the line, if you will, and reach out to them? Because we entertain those thoughts and we allow ourselves to become drunk behind those thoughts, drunk behind those emotions, drunk behind those memories. I like that. I like that. We gotta stop entertaining those things because that is what causes us to look back, that's what causes us to go back to that burning building. Right. If we stop entertaining those thoughts, stop rehearsing those memories, we will find ourselves moving forward, moving ahead, which is the direction we're supposed to be going. Right. Looking, looking forward, moving forward, and never looking back. And then hence the word toxic intoxication, toxic relationship, intoxication. You can have a toxic relationship, not just with a mate that you're intimate with. Right, right. You a toxic relationship, parent and a son, a mother and a son, a father and a daughter, yes, uh so-called friends, right? Toxic intoxication where you lose control. Yeah, right. You no longer have the proper thinking capacity to operate, to function uh adequately. You lose control when you're intoxicated. Intoxication simply simply means to be poisoned. Right. Intoxication is poison. So don't poison yourself. Get rid of the poison. If you have to cry to get rid of the toxins in your body, shed those tears. Do what's necessary to make the exit from that burning building. Set boundaries, say no and stick to it. I like how you said don't don't poison yourself. Don't poison yourself. Don't poison yourself. And a lot of times that's what we're what we're doing. Exactly. You know, when we're doing something that we know we should not be doing, when we're, you know, places that we know we should not be in, when we're in those relationships, again, I'm glad you highlighted, you know, toxic relationships are not just intimate relationships. Toxic relationships can be with people who you think are supposed to be your friend, who you think is supposed to be a divine connection. Right. Toxic relationships between parents and children, toxic relationships in the family, toxic relationships in the workplace, you know, when we are interacting with those, when we are involving ourselves with that toxicity, we are pointing, we are doing self-poison. Right, we are poisoning ourselves. We are poisoning ourselves. And and you lose, we lose when we're intoxicated because of uh of that person, their vibe, their swag, their look, their smell, their voice, their touch, their so-called intellect, the taste, the intellect, the money, whatever it is about that person, that individual, when we intoxicate ourselves, when we uh pour in the poison on the inside of us, poison our thought process, poison our heart, our feelings, our emotions. That point, that poison is deadly. Yes, it's a deadly poison. It's just a matter of time. Right. It's just a matter of time before everything goes up in smoke. Right. It started off sweet, it ended in smoke, and many uh can't sit here and testify to it or be a witness. You know, if if if the grave could cry out and say, wake up, don't go there, get out now, get out while you can't. I've been fortunate to escape some things. There's some things that took place in my life. It was, I don't even know the relationship was was toxic. Just a gentleman, I'm just gonna use one example, that I knew, you know, and was he attractive? Yes. Was I attracted? Yes. But it wasn't, you know, I had some ulterior motives, right? You know, I wanted to get high, I wanted to drink, I wanted to party, right? But he had something going on in his mind, and I wasn't operating with discernment at that time, right? I had lost control. I had lost control. When we lose control, we lose direction. When we lose control, we lose focus. When we lose uh uh control, we lose our sense of worth of our sense of worth, our sense of value. We lose, we just we lose control. We're not in control, right? Those feelings are in control, we're not in control. Those thoughts, like you said, when you rehearse those thoughts, that's what's in control. It's the enemy of your soul who's in control, and so there's some things that took place in my life, even behind closed doors. Why? Because I lost control, right? I was poisoned, I poisoned myself. Uh, you know, it was a deadly situation, but I survived it. I never turned back. Once I once I'm gonna tell you, once the Lord gave me an escape, you see, that's the thing, you have to plan your exit, right? You have to plan your exit, keep it between you and don't tell everybody, but plan your exit. Come on, come on, yeah, come on. Absolutely, absolutely, and when we, you know, goodness, when we find ourselves in any toxic relationships of any sort, you know, when we find ourselves in in any sort of toxic relationship, that's the time to examine ourselves, that's the time to look within ourselves, you know, because what is it in us that shouldn't be in us, you know, because toxicity is attracted to toxity, and we, you know, when when we get involved in those types of relationships, there's something missing in us. We're not valuing ourselves, we're not loving ourselves, we stand in need of healing in some areas, you know, apart a lot of people who are addicted to drugs, people who are addicted to alcohol, the vast majority of them they don't want to be.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

That's the truth.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

The vast majority of them do not want to be. People who are in abusive relationships, emotional, physical uh abusive relationships, a lot of a lot of them they don't want to be in that. Yeah, they want out. They want out, they don't like, you know, fearing whether or not they're gonna wake up and you know get beat on. They want out. But there's something, you know, that's keeping them connected to that toxicity because there's something on the inside of them that it, you know, they're not valuing, they're not awakened to.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Yeah, they're worth.

eception That Keeps You Stuck

SPEAKER_00 17:09

They're worth, yeah. You know, those are the times to really look within and do an examination. And that's, you know, on last week we talked about it. Getting off by ourselves, becoming comfortable with spending time by ourselves so that we can heal, so that we can be, you know, begin to uh uh learn our work so that we can begin to see our value, so that we can, you know, learn how to love on our own selves, right? And stop looking for validation from another. And especially when we're looking from validation from another who doesn't even value their own self. And you said something about toxicity, uh, the toxins, the poison attracts poison. Poison, a toxity attracts toxicity. It reminded me of Misery Love's Company. Right. Misery Love's Company, right? Um, another thing, uh point uh that you brought out that's very significant. Um uh we were talking about um planning your exit. Let me get there. Planning your exit, planning your way out of that situation, um, and not allowing this is what came to me. So what happens is in those types of relationships, when you when you stay, um, because you don't know your worth of your value, when you stay, a lot of times it's because you've been lied to. Yeah. You don't nobody want you. Right, right. Don't nobody love you. Ain't nobody nobody will love you like I do. Right. You ain't nothing. You ain't, I'm the one that made you. That's a lie. It's a lie, it's deception. It is can I just use the word spirit? It's the spirit of deception. There's a force behind the eyes that look at you and mesmerize you. There's a force behind the voice, there's a force behind the touch, there's a force behind it, and it's it's evil. It means you no good. So it's it's critical. It's of the essence that you understand who you are and know that you are worth it to plan your exit, plan your escape, if you will, because many are being held against their will.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Yeah.

sing Strengths As A Fire Extinguisher

SPEAKER_00 19:29

And it is it's it's unfortunate. It's sad. These are some of the things that you know we we talk about, we uh explore, and I'm gonna say this we you know, pray and cover people in these areas. Um, but plan your exit. I'm gonna say it again. Plan your exit. You don't need to talk about it. Just plan your exit, find your why. Yes, your reason to leave so you can live. Right. Find your why, find your reason to leave so you can live. Because as long as you're in it, it's impossible to heal. Right, as long as you're in it, it's impossible to really get a grasp or get control of your own life. Get control, take control, take it back, take your life back, take your control back. Right. Well, you have to as we uh prepare to uh to close, use your fire extinguisher, use your fire extinguisher to put it out, and what is your fire extinguisher? Identifying your strengths, that's your fire extinguisher. Start identifying your own strengths because again, like you know, uh this episode opened. You are valuable, you are worth it, you are intelligent, you are intellectual, you are smart, you are powerful, you are amazing, you are worth your investment in you. Start using your fire extinguisher to put out that burning building because that burning building means you no good. That burning building is in place to take you out, that burning building is in place because that burning building does not want to see you successful. You are worth your love, you are worth you. Use your fire extinguisher and exercise your strengths. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Exercise your strength.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

You're worth it, you're worth it, and we got your back with that being said, peace be to you, peace be to your house, and peace be to all.

unknown 22:00

Yeah.