Addicted To The Heat

That rush you call chemistry might be the very thing keeping you trapped. We talk about being “addicted to the heat” and why a toxic relationship can feel like a burning building you can’t stop running back into, even after the alarms go off and the red flags are obvious.

We break down how addiction shows up beyond substances, including relationship addiction, emotional dependency, and the pull of intensity. We explore the pattern of emotionally unavailable partners who run hot and cold, the way intermittent affection can hook your mind, and why “love at first sight” can blind us to what’s happening underneath the spark. If you’ve ever thought, “I just need one more talk, one more touch, one more chance,” we name the danger in that loop and why chasing the first high often leads to deeper pain.

We also get practical about the way out. We talk about secrecy, shame, and what happens when you bottle everything up until it erupts. Then we shift to worth, strength, and stability: choosing character over swagger, consistency over chaos, and using your “fire extinguisher” to put out the flames and exit for good. If this hits home, subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

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Transcript

Hidden Addictions And Quiet Suffering

Love At First Sight Vs Reality

Red Flags And The One More Time Trap

Getting Sick Of Being Sick

Choose Stability And Exit

SPEAKER_00 0:02

We have been sharing. I'm just smiling over here because I'm I feel good today, but we've been sharing on a very hot topic. You know, our metaphor for a topic that we've been sharing on. The metaphor is a burning building, uh symbolizing relationship, a type of addiction, whether it's uh uh being addicted to someone, being addicted to passion, being addicted to the heat or the high of a relationship. Um there's so many different uh dynamics to this because addiction, um addiction doesn't have a limit. There's addiction to food, addiction to drugs, addiction to uh movies, to porn, um, you know, and the list goes on and on. Um, but we've we've really been sharing on what it looks like to be in a relationship or to go back to that burn and building when you've had the red flags, to go back to that relationship, that burning building when you've made a way up, when you've made an escape. Why do we need one more time, one more talk, um, one more touch? And there's a danger in that. Uh, we shared on that danger in one more time. I am your host, Dr. Lydia Michelle Young. I'm here with my co-host, intercessor Janine Nicole. Today is Wednesday, it is the middle of the week. Um, we call this mid-week refreshing fire, uh a word of uh words to refresh you uh that will carry you on for the rest of the week. And then we also remind you here uh of your worth. And so we're gonna talk today about being addicted to the heat, being addicted to the heat. Let's see where this takes us. Come on, jump in there, Cecil. Good evening, everyone, and thank you for tuning in to Sweet Fire the podcast. I thoroughly have enjoyed this um this focus, you know, on the metaphor of the burning building because it's it's one of those, you know, topics that is not very popular. You know, there's so many people walking around that's addicted to something. You know, rather it's a relationship, rather it's alcohol, rather it's drugs, you know, rather it's money. There is so many people who are walking around addicted to something. You know, and some people they they realize that they have that addiction, that that addiction is toxic, that that is an area that they need help in, but they're quietly suffering through it. You know, there's a part of them that wants that help, but then that's that part of them that doesn't want that help, and that part of them that doesn't want that help outweighs and you know, and out empowers, if you will, that part of them that do want that help. So they stay stuck in that addiction. And then there's others who they don't even realize that they're addicted. You know, they there's somebody, you know, in that toxic, addictive relationship, and they don't even recognize the toxicity. Right. You know, because they're just so engulfed, they're just so consumed by the by the the fumes, the flames of that relationship. The sheat, the heat, uh the heat, the the heat of that relationship. So again, I'm thoroughly enjoying this topic of discussion, like I know so many out there have been, because this is something that needs to be talked about just a little bit more, right, so that people can get the help that's needed. Right. You know, it's okay to say, you know, that you have an addiction, even if it's an addiction to a person, to an individual. It's okay to find that safe place and admit that there's an addiction so that you can come out of it and realize your worth. Realize your worth. Uh thank you. Thank you for sharing that. You know, addicted to the heat. Um, we see a spark. You know, uh, I've heard so many people over the years uh talk about love at first sight. Love at first it was love at first sight. So people, you know, can look hot, can have that look, that swag, so to speak. You know, familiar with that that terminology, that that swag, the look, they look hot. Um but but what's going on internally, right? Um, I even myself have found myself um addicted uh you know to the heat, but the problem was um the other person or individual, or even when I was addicted to crack cocaine, um was emotionally unavailable. Emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, you know, um would be one moment hot and then the next minute cold. Um you know, and just not not consistent, you know, the show affection and then withdraw. Come on, jump in on that. Yeah, I like how you uh put that, uh the inconsistency of the heat. Right? Right. It's like, you know, the the flame knows when to to ignite to get a little hotter, right? You know, and then the flame dwindles. Right, you know, and I I another point that you brought out too, um, it was love at first sight. We have heard that so many times over the years, right? It was love at first sight, but then five years later they're in the in a courtroom to get a divorce, right? But it was love at first sight. The the the flame that many people, the spark, you know, it's like you see that flame, you see that spark, but you don't see what's in between, what's beneath that flame, the underlying danger to that flame, right? Right, you know, and that's what really uh uh catches a lot of people off guard. They're so attracted to the color of that flame. You know, they're so attracted to to the uh the heat behind that that flame that is momentarily hypnotized by the hypnotized by the flame. That's that's momentarily, right? That flame is not gonna always be there because people are people, people are real people, they change, people change, emotions change, people are flaky, right? People are selfish, but there's something about that heat. There's something about the heat. There's something about the heat, yeah. That's true. Um being addicted to the heat. I want to ask this question, and really for those of who are tuning in, listening uh to these uh these episodes to this particular uh series that we're in now, and be honest with yourself. Do are you addicted to the heat? But do you see the red flags? Are you addicted to the heat? You found yourself in a burning building, in a relationship, and you cannot seem to you know escape, you can't get away from it, you can't pull yourself out of it, but you're miserable, you're depressed, you're sad, you're being mistreated. Are you one uh that that you know it's the high of the relationship? Well, the high is over. Even when you get a high on drugs, the high, I mean, it goes down. You don't stay high, you don't stay high. Right, but we find ourselves even I'm gonna go back to this. Even when I was addicted to Crack Cook King, I found myself chasing for that same high. I found myself chasing, it broke me, it hurt me. I I would hide during the day because I didn't want anybody to see me high. Right. You know, I I wanted to, you know, go in secret. And that's a that's a problem. We talked about that in one of other episodes about um the secrecy of the relationship, you not being forthright or being honest or getting the help that you deserve. So you're keeping it all bottled inside. What happens when we bottle things inside? An explosion, an evolving, an eruption. And so the high of the relationship, if the high is over, if the flame is gone, see your way out. That's your opportunity to get out, you know. And that point that she brought up, um, I it's safe to say that that uh that applies to every type of addiction. Yes, that people are always chasing that first high. Right. You know, in relationships, P it's like it's like you know, the relationship is toxic. The person knows that they need to get out, but they stay put, right? Because they're in pursuit of that that first flame that they you know laid eyes on. They're in pursuit of that first, you know, uh uh high, that first experience. And it's it you you get to a point. I know for me, you know, being in toxic relationships in times past and being miserable, right? You you have to get to the point to where you know old folk used to say enough is enough. You gotta get you gotta get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Right. I'm gonna say that again, you gotta be sick and tired of being sick and tired. Because that's what happened with me. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, what happens? You look for something different, right? And as you're looking for something different, what happens there? You find your worth. And as you find your worth, what happens there? You find yourself getting stronger. That's it. You know, you get stronger, and as you get stronger, you know, you realize just how valuable you are, and you don't just allow any and everybody in your life, right? And you recognize a burning building for what it is, a burning building, and you stay away from that burning building. That burning building. That burning building is going down, it's going, it's going down. We talked about uh brought this point out in uh one of the uh the other episodes, talking about your fire extinguisher, right? Which is your strength. And so a lot of people um choose lust and intensity. Lust and intensity, the passion, the heat, the fire, um, all the while the underlying pain, all the while the underlying uh low self-esteem, all of that. Choosing lust and intensity over stability, right? Give some strength about yourself, right? Because you're stronger than you think you are, you're stronger than you realize. For those who are listening, you you do have strength. Yes, you do. You're not weak, you're strong, right? So that you can gain some stability in your life. Come on, yeah. I like that. You are as we're preparing to close. You are you are stronger than you really are. The very fact that you're tuning into this podcast, you know, you're stronger than you really are. You're stronger than you realize, you know, you are. Right. Because we have been on this series, you know, uh uh studying this metaphor for some weeks now, right? And you keep tuning in. That's strength right there. You know that you are more valuable than that relationship. You know that you know you are more valuable than that other person is trying to make you uh uh feel like you are. You know, you know that you have some worth about you. That's why you keep tuning in to this podcast. Use your fire extinguisher, use your strength and and and put out the flames and exit that burning building. You are worth the trouble. You are worth saving you. Yes, it we talked about that. Uh uh get the strength about yourself, the stability, so you you can you can leave so that you can live. Um and it um as we close, and you said that already, um, they may look hot. Okay, they may look hot, but when you realize they lack the character uh of your expectation, make the exit. Peace be to you, peace be to your house, and peace be to all you have.