“Unlawful Entry/No Trespassing”

The most dangerous trap isn’t getting stuck in a burning building, it’s walking back into it after you finally escaped. We’ve been using this metaphor for weeks because it fits so many real stories: toxic relationships you can’t quit, addictive patterns that hijack your choices, and “forbidden” connections that leave you anxious, depressed, and spiritually and emotionally drained. 

Today we name the moment a lot of people don’t talk about: unlawful entry. You exit, you get distance, you even start to heal, then a phone call comes, a familiar trigger hits, or you see that person again and suddenly you’re back inside what already burned you. We connect this to relapse in addiction recovery and to relationship relapse, and we explain why returning often feels normal in a crisis even when it’s destructive. We also break down the “rearview mirror” problem, when you stare too long at what’s behind you and turn the whole car around. 

We go deeper into consequences: when the building has already collapsed, you’re not returning to something stable, you’re stepping into rubble. Trying to rebuild with the same tools, pain, anger, insecurity, and unresolved trauma, can cause an even bigger explosion that spills onto your kids, your loved ones, your job, your calling, and your future. Our main takeaway is simple and hard: if you feel tempted to go back, treat it as a signal that more healing is needed, not as proof that you should return. Subscribe to Sweet Fire, share this with someone who needs an exit, and leave us a review with the question you want us to tackle next.

Transcript

Unlawful Entry After Escape

Relapse Patterns In Addiction And Love

Trespassing Brings Consequences

Rebuilding Ashes Causes Explosions

Temptation Signals More Healing Needed

Stay Out So You Survive

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Many of you know we've been sharing now for several weeks the metaphor of the burning building or a burning building. When we speak of a burning building, we're referencing being involved or entangled in a relationship, that forbidden relationship, the relationship that you cannot seem to break away from. You've had many opportunities to make a plan of escape, to exit the building, to leave the situation. You're not happy, you're you're troubled, going through uh emotions like depression. Um have been dealt with suicidal ideations. And so we've been we've been sharing again on uh the burning building, anywhere in life where we're tied to something or someone that we're having difficulty breaking away from. It particularly those things are people who are not purposed or destined for our lives. So today we want to uh talk about unlawful entry when we've been given a way of escape or when we exited that building and the door was shut behind us, but then we broke in. We we trespassed, we went in without permission. We want to talk about that today. I'm your host, Dr. Lydia Michelle Young. I'm here with my co-host and Sessor Janina Co is in the studio, and uh this is middle of the week Wednesday, midweek with Fresh and Fire. We appreciate all of you who tune into Sweet Fire the podcast. Um matter of fact, if you have any ideas or any topics that you would like for us to discuss, um you can let us know. You can chime in, and uh we'll we'll do just that. But here we go. Come on in, jump in. Uh good evening, everyone, and thank you, yes, for tuning in to another episode of Sweet Fire the podcast. Again, I'm uh loving this metaphor that we've been honing in on now for several weeks because I do believe it is a metaphor that many uh can relate to. It doesn't matter, you know, the generation, the age, the demographics, the culture. This the burning building is a metaphor that many of us can uh relate to. It's you know, being in some type of situation, some you know, uh a relationship of some sort. And the things just went awry. And before you know it, it just seems as if you know that person's world just began to come down, as if that building just began to crumble and fall into pieces. So again, really uh I'm loving this uh this metaphor um and looking forward to jumping in on this evening. That's it. And so you said that burning building, um, I mean, it does crumble, it goes up in smoke. But when you get been given, when we've been given, I've been given an opportunity to escape that burning building, to uh to exit that burning building, to even after exiting the burning building, the relationship, the addiction, uh I've even had a season of healing. And so, what about when we heal, when we have a level of healing, uh, when we have a level of overcoming, when we're doing better, we're more healthy in our thought process, we're more healthy in the way we function. Um now we can function because we're not in that dysfunctional, uh addictive relationship anymore. Um, but what happens when we do receive healing? And then here comes that phone call, or or we run into that that situation, that person, that thing, that substance. Now, unlawful entry. We've now we're back into a situation, perhaps, um, that um that forbidden place. Right. Let's talk about that. Yeah, yeah. And it again, I'm just this is awesome because that happens to many of us, right? Those who um have been, you know, addicted to alcohol or you know, been addicted to drugs. Oftentimes that R-word does happen, that relapse. You know, they've gone through the steps of recovery, but then you know, that drug is presented to them again and they're found relapsing, right? Or they find themselves in a tough situation, and all they can recall is in times past being in a tough situation and how they dealt with it, how they coped with it was getting that high. You know, and that that does happen. I know that's happened for me, you know, being in uh a toxic relationships, you know, you've gone through the healing process, but then you find yourself relapsing and entering back into that uh that burning building, you know, and then what happens? Then we're trespassing. A way has been made. A way has been made to exit that building, a way has been made to get off of that drug, a way has been made to leave that toxic relationship, but then we find ourselves going back, looking in that rear view mirror, you know, just a little too long, right? That rear view is supposed to just be a quick little glimpse, right? But we find ourselves fixated on that rear view. And then what happens? We turn the vehicle around and we go back to the burning building. Right. So the rear view, too, is so that we're aware of the attack that's coming up from behind. Right. You know, we gotta stay, we have to stay aware and stay alert. When we talk about a burning building that's really gone up in smoke, we're returning to uh a place, a dark place with no walls. Right. There's no door, then everything is is is up in smoke. Now everything is down and has collapsed and it's been destroyed. Right. But we enter into now, it's just a dark place. Right. Um, with no hope. It's just a dark place. Uh with with depression, all types of different spirits, if I can say, um, that are in that place. And we position ourselves uh in a place, in that forbidden place. So now there's penalties. Why? Because we've trespassed. We have penalties to pay. Why? Consequences, why? Because we we've trespassed. We remain on uh a property, we go back to a property, a burning building or a burning situation without permission. We're entering into an area, we're entering into a vein that we don't have the right to be in. Now we're we're out of our territory, right? We're on the wrong terrain, right? Right? We're we're um go ahead, jump here. Yeah, we're we're yeah, we're we're we're on the wrong terrain and we're trying to wow, we're trying to rebuild. Right? Yes, we've we're trying to rebuild a building that has already burned down. Right. We're trying to rebuild a building that has already burned down. So now not only are we trespassing, you know, we're violating, you know, we're violating different ordinances, right? Because that that that place where that building once stood, it is now burned down, it's rubble, it's ashes. You know, there's a recovery process that that that land, that specific area needs to go through, right? Before we can rebuild, before a building can be built up, right? So now we're we're we've entered back in and we're trying to fix an unfixable situation. Unfixable situation. Trying to build a building that's been burnt down, right? Right. And what are your tools to build with? What are you building with? Still toxicity, right? Pain, have you changed it all? Right. As the individual who you left, right? Or you know, where that relationship was severed, so to speak. Now you're back. What are you using to build? Are you using pain? Are you using uh uh anger? What are what are the underlying factors? Are you using frustration to build? What are you built? What are your tools? What do you have to use to rebuild a building that's been burnt down? Right. It's just gonna be a greater explosion. Right? Because what again, what are you using to try to rebuild? What are you using? Yeah, it's just gonna be a greater explosion. And then what then what happens? It leaks, it affects, there's an overflow uh where others could be affected. Right. We talked about that. Your children will be affected, your your loved ones will be affected, your job, your ministry, if you're here in ministry, um, your your business, your dreams, your mind, your inner self. You know, when you've you've built up some strength, we talked about the fire exchange. You built up some strength, but now when we decide to re-enter, because I've done it, I've done it plenty of times. We decide when we decide to re-enter a situation that has been destroyed, and we try to rebuild it, man. Talking about trouble, right? And and think about I'm gonna jump in, think about the wasted time, the wasted years, the feelings, the emotions, and we talk about here, uh, this is refreshing fire. So a word to refresh you and remind you of your worth, it's not worth it to go back. No, it never is. My goodness. It never goes forward. Yeah, it keeps looking forward. It's not, it's it's never worth it to go back. And hence, you know, um, if there's a temptation to go back to the burning building, that's just more confirmation that you still need healing. Right? Whenever there's a temptation to go back to toxicity, a temptation to go back to a burning building, that take that as confirmation that you are still in need of healing. Take it from somebody, you know, who knows. Take it from the experience. Yeah, it yeah, take it from the experience because you know when there was temptation for me to go back, right? Knowing that, you know, going back is just that going backward, right? To go backward, I'm not you're not moving forward. Right. So when it was temptation to go backward, that stood as confirmation for me. I still need some healing. I had some still some insecurity. Right. There were still some unresolved issues, you know, because it's not healthy. Toxicity is never healthy. It's forward, it's poison. Right, it's poison. So if there, if you are tempted to go backward, my friend, take that as confirmation that you stand in need of healing and walk out your healing process so you can come to understand the truth of your work. Because, as we have stated, you are valuable, you are worth the time and effort to go through the healing process so that you can be used to help another who is where you are where you are right now. Right. Yeah. Use your experience to help someone else. And I was thinking as you were speaking, um, there are many uh that can testify or witness to the fact that umce you have exited that place, that situation, many of you have stayed away, but there's many who went back and never made it, made it out. Right. And that's our concern here today that you don't re-enter and lose your way. You don't re-enter and lose your life, you don't re-enter and lose your mind, you don't re-enter and lose your children. Um, and that's all we have for today. We appreciate you again for tuning in to Sweet Fire the Podcast. Peace be to you, peace be to your house, and peace be to all you.