“Pull The Trigger”

If you’ve ever felt like you needed an emotional escape just to make it through the day, this conversation is for you. We’re naming the moment when you realize a toxic relationship isn’t just “hard” but harmful and you can’t keep paying for it with your peace, your body, or your future. We call it the burning building: the place you run from, swear you’ll never return to, and then somehow find yourself walking back into when loneliness hits or a late-night text pulls you into the same cycle again. 

We break down what “pull the trigger” actually means in real life. It isn’t a tough-talk slogan, it’s a definitive decision to stop hesitating and stop stepping backward. We talk about why some relationships cannot be fixed, especially when both people are broken and the relationship keeps producing toxins like disrespect, manipulation, criticism, silent treatment, and fear. We also speak to the reality of walking on eggshells around mood swings and unpredictability, and how threats and control can keep you stuck even when you know you need to leave. 

Then we focus on what comes after the exit: the healing process. We share personal perspective on how painful the break can be and why healing requires space, support, and a renewed commitment to your worth. If you’re ready to reclaim personal power, set boundaries, and choose safety over the cycle, press play and take this message with you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs an escape, and leave a review telling us what helped you most.

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Transcript

Why Emotional Escape Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:01

It is no secret that at one point or one time or another, each of us have been in need of an emotional escape. There are many people who will hear this session, this podcast, on this topic that we're going to share with you today, who are in need, who are desperately in need of an emotional escape. And so we want to admonish you today. We want to admonish you today to pull the trigger. We're going to get in into that topic today. Um, I am your host, Dr. Lydia Michelle Young. I'm here with my co-host, mentor, formation life coach, Janine Nicole is in the building, and we are really appreciative to those of you who are tuning in, who are listening, who are applying the words, the metaphors, the ideas, the knowledge, the wisdom you're applying, you're uh applying to your life, to your daily life, what we are sharing with you here uh at Sweet Fire the Podcast. Today is Wednesday, it's the middle of the week. We always refer to Wednesday as midweek refreshing fire, where we are here to share uh something with you that would ignite you, that would uh that would make uh things more fresh in your life, a newness in your life. So we're here to do that to remind you of your word, words that will uh hopefully change your life, not just to carry you through the week, but to change your life for the rest of your life. Uh, again, our topic for today is pull the trigger. Come on, Janine Nicole, jump in on that.

Addictive Relationships And The Burning Building

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Jump in on that. Good evening, everyone. Yes, um, we if you've lived any kind of time, had any kind of experience, any kind of relational experience, not all of the relationships, you know, the relational encounters have been pleasant. There's been some of those relational experiences, relational encounters to where we have had to make that conscious decision to pull the trigger because there was a something taking place in that relationship that didn't really meet you know our emotional uh need at that time. It was something that was lacking, so we had to walk away, we had to pull that trigger. So um definitely looking forward to really diving into this topic of discussion on this evening. Again, I think it's one of those discussions that many, many all over the world are gonna be able to relate to.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Absolutely, absolutely. Um, so you know, uh, we've been talking for weeks, weeks, several, several weeks, uh, sharing on addictive relationships, toxic relationships. Um, and and we've shared some really some key terms, some key ideas uh to help those of you who found yourself in the burning building. That's our metaphor for a relationship uh which is toxic, a relationship that's just not working. You find yourself drawn back to that person, and you you're experiencing the same cycle, that same cycle of of abuse, the same cycle of being mistreated. And we'll we'll we're gonna talk about that and get into that as well. Um, but that's where we've been um in this particular series is talking about the addictive relationships and what that burning building looks like. That relationship, the burning building relationship, how it goes up in flames, there's nothing left but rubble, and many people stay in those types of relationships, many people leave, uh they're able to escape, uh, and they start a healing process, and then they get that phone call, the late-night phone call, the text message. They run into that person, um, and then they fall right back into the same cycle. We've been talking about that. Uh, actually, this is going to be uh we'll dip and dab in this area as as time uh goes on, but uh we're gonna finalize series five and jump into another topic in which we'll introduce that to you uh toward the end of this session. Uh, but we've been talking about

Accepting The Relationship Cannot Be Fixed

SPEAKER_00 4:43

that. You know what the problem is, is uh too many people or what we want to help you to do today is to accept the reality that the relationship cannot be fixed. The relationship cannot be fixed. I I brought this uh idea up, I think it was like my last week's session where I was talking about if I'm broken, how can I hold you up? Right. If I'm broken, how can I hold my partner up? My you know, supposedly boyfriend, whoever it is. How can I how can a broken person hold someone else up? Right. Come on, jump in.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Right, absolutely last week, we did touch on that, you know, two broken people, it's it's impossible for two broken people who are in need of healing to be able to be that you know, that solid foundation, that firm foundation for another one. Both broken pieces, they need a solid foundation to stand on. And that solid foundation, it's only made possible, you know, if that person has gone through the healing process to receive all the elements needed to be made whole. Right. So it's just fundamentally impossible for two broken people to have a successful relationship where one is able to be the solid foundation for the other, and vice versa. It's just impossible. And you and you do you come to a point in life to where if you're in a toxic relationship, if if there's any toxicity in your life, you know, whatsoever, it doesn't even have to be a toxic relationship. If there, if you're involved in anything that's producing toxins in your life, you have to get to that point. Old folks say you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. You have to get to that point in life to where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired because you realize that that toxicity is not producing what you need to be made whole. That toxicity is adding poison to your life, that toxicity is adding pollutants to your life, and that toxicity is going to eventually take you out. And a lot of people have made their escape, you know, out of that burning building, but then you know, a travesty hits, devastation hits, something hits in their life to where they find themselves not even glancing back, but they find themselves turning completely all the way around and walking back into the burning building. And like we've touched on in weeks past, and unfortunately, many have lost their life with returning back to that burning building that they made their escape out of. So we're here on this evening to let you know it's not worth it. If you have exited the burning building, stay out.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

That's it. Thank you for sharing that. If you have made your exit, if you've been fortunate, fortunate enough to make your exit, to make your escape, uh you know, stay out. Yeah, absolutely stay out. And we also have said over the weeks, leave so you can live. Uh so accept the reality. The relationship cannot be fixed. If that's your if that's the kind of situation you're in, it cannot be fixed. Sometimes

What Pull The Trigger Means

SPEAKER_00 8:09

we have to come to that to that realization. Sometimes we have to come to that point where we accept the reality. Accept the reality and pull the trigger. What does that mean? Pull the trigger. What we're saying here is make a definitive decision. Um, stop it with the hesitation, stop with the lingering choices. Uh stop. Save your life. Right, save your life, the life of your children. Save your your your emotions, save yourself, and stop hesitating. So make a final decisive move. This is your decisive moment to make a move, an irreversible move, so you can live. Um, stop stepping back. Stop stepping back. Don't don't step backwards, right? Come on, jump in.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah, and you know, you said uh something very key. Facing the reality that it's over. Facing that reality that it's over, and that is that's a hard reality to face. Right? That is a hard reality to face, especially if you've been involved for you know a length of time with that person, you've invested your time, your energy, your finances, families have come together. That is a hard reality to face. But guess what? It's a reality that needs to be, you know, faced. If you really want to make your escape, because you have awakened to the to your work, you've awakened to your value, you've awakened to the treasure, the jewel that you truly are. It's an uncomfortable reality, and many of us have you know been in relationships where we have had to face that hard reality. No matter you know how much uh love we felt for that other person, the time that we spent with the other person, we've had to face that hard reality that it is over, and it is time to pull the trigger.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

It's time to pull the trigger. Um, it it it is it that's an extremely difficult place to be. It is. We're not saying, oh, it's gonna be easy, right? Oh, it's hard, as you all may know. It's extremely difficult uh experience in my life uh where

Facing The End And Starting Healing

SPEAKER_00 10:42

I had to pull the trigger, right? And in order for me to survive that and not take my own life, begging for someone to run me over in the middle of the street. Now, this is true. This is I'm telling you, I'm giving you some facts about a little bit about my personal experience. A broken uh young lady, a broken person, shattered, inside, internally, just damaged. I had to, I had to create uh a place in my closet, go there and lay there different times throughout the day and cry out to God to get the healing that I needed. I did it for months because I was I there was nowhere else for me to go. Right. I was mangled. Is that the right word? Yeah, I was mangled. And so, you know, we have to uh make some the make the definitive excuse me decision, and then you know, that's starting your healing process when you make up in your mind that I'm never stepping back, starting your healing process when you when you say I will not step backwards, but you're going to uh get your emotional uh escape. You're you're gonna escape the mistreatment, you're gonna escape name bashing, escape the physical abuse, uh financial manipulation. You may have some withdrawals, but you know, you're escaping someone else controlling your life, the disrespect, the criticisms. Come on, jump in.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Absolutely, absolutely, and I know for me, my uh my personal experiences have had to face some hard reality, some hard realities in life, and realize that you know what, they're not worth me. Right, they're not worth me, they're not worth my time, they're not worth my my energy. They don't see my worth, they don't know my worth. And I had to pull the trigger. I've had to pull the trigger a time or two, three, four times, you know. I've had to I've had to utilize that, and it's not, you know, being hard or harsh, but it's it's making uh a bold decision, a bold choice in life. Because when you wake up to your worth, when you wake up to your value, when you wake up to the truth that you are worth more than they've tried to make you believe, you will pull that trigger without hesitation. Right, and you you won't even have the desire to go backwards, right? There's not one relationship that I have the desire to go backwards. Why? Because I have awakened to my worth, and I'm still awakening to the woman that I know I am, and that's somebody out there right now. You're tuning in to this, uh, to this episode. Awaken to your worth, awaken to the truth of who you really are. You are a jewel, you are a diamond, you are precious, you are you, you, you are a treasure, you have a lot to offer. And it's time for you to face that hard reality and pull that

Awakening To Worth And Personal Power

SPEAKER_01 13:58

trigger.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Pull that trigger. And while you were sharing, uh Coach Janine, while you were sharing, um, I was sensing that there are many, many people who are listening. Um, and even in the other countries who tune in to uh Sweet Fire the podcast, many are walking around on eggshells because of that person's mood swings, right? They're unpredictable, even though you know what they're capable of, or you you imagine because of the things that you've gone to with the physical abuse, with all the different uh things that you have experienced with that uh that person, the silent treatment, you know, you don't know what's really on their mind, but the way they look at you, though piercing you with their eyes, you're walking around on eggshells because of their moods swinging back and forth, up and down, in and out. You're you're living in fear. You're you're you're living in fear, fear for your life, because you've been threatened. If you leave me, I'll do this, I'll do that. Um, and so what what what our goal here today, our goal today is to help you to regain, help you to reclaim your personal power, help you to reclaim your words. As we get ready to close out this session, come on, yeah. Just some final words.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Absolutely, again, we can't say it enough. You are worth fighting for, you are worth fighting for for that one right now tuning in and and tears are falling down your face because this is penetrating, this is hitting home for you, this is hitting the core of your heart. You are worth fighting for. They're never gonna realize your worth, they're never gonna see your value. Pull the trigger, make that tough choice, that tough decision on this evening, and pull the trigger, and do not go backwards, stay moving forward to your destiny.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Move forward to your destiny. Uh, again, we appreciate you for tuning in. Pull the trigger one more time. Say it with me. Pull the trigger, pull the trigger, pull the trigger.

Final Push And What Is Next

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Um, we're closing out this series, although from time to time we'll tap into you know the ideas of what we've shared in this particular uh series. But join us next week as we launch a new series, sexual demons. New series coming, sexual demons. Peace be to you, peace be to your house, and peace be to all you have.