Hoops & Crumbs with the Browns
Hoops & Crumbs with the Browns" is a one-of-a-kind podcast that brings together a 40 something-year-old mom and her 15-year-old son for authentic conversations about life, culture, and connection. Set in the warmth of their home, they dive into topics like today’s hip hop scene, the highs and lows of basketball, and what it’s really like to be a teenager growing up in today’s fast-paced world—all while eating homemade cookies.
Hoops & Crumbs with the Browns
Episode 11: 7 Questions Parents Should Ask Their Kids Before It's Too Late
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Seven questions that every parent should ask their child—this powerful framework creates the backdrop for one of our most revealing and heartfelt conversations yet. Maria puts teenage son Esteban in the hot seat, exploring everything from his deepest fears to his proudest moments in an exchange that showcases both vulnerability and growth.
What begins with casual banter about chocolate croissants and French NBA players quickly evolves into profound territory as Esteban opens up about his wish for a younger sibling, his complicated relationship with personal accomplishments, and his fear of missing out on typical teenage experiences. The conversation reveals the unique challenges faced by a young athlete attending a highly specialized school with only six classmates—all while pursuing academic excellence and basketball dreams.
For parents listening, this episode offers both a template for meaningful conversations and a window into the adolescent mind. The questions discussed provide a framework that any family can use to deepen their connections before it's too late. Whether you're raising teenagers, have adult children, or are simply curious about parent-child dynamics, this conversation will leave you reflecting on your own family relationships and the questions you wish you'd asked—or still can.
Have a question for us to ask each other? We’d love to hear it!
Follow us on Instagram @hoopsandcrumbs and share your thoughts! We are always looking for questions to ask each other on the #doubledouble
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Welcome to Hoops and Crumbs
Speaker 2Welcome to Hoops and Crumbs with the Browns , the podcast where life lessons are baked in like chocolate chips . I'm Maria Brown .
Speaker 1And I'm Esteban Brown Together . We're talking basketball life and everything in between . Whether we're dunking on the court or in the milk , there's always something cooking . So grab a snack and tune in . So what are we cooking today , mama ?
Speaker 2Well , I'm not gonna lie , I've been a bit too busy to do any baking , and I think you have been too . But I did manage to go to a very delicious bakery on the way home from yoga , and I picked us up some beautiful pastries yeah uh
Bakery Treats and French NBA Stars
Speaker 2.
Speaker 1So right here I've got a pain au chocolat which if you don't know , means uh bread of chocolate or chocolate croissant in uh other terms . So I'm going to try it , but it's a bit clumsy .
Speaker 2Yeah , don't make a mess . And the verdict is it's good . I'm always down for a chocolate croissant , yeah , or a bread of chocolate , a pain au chocolat , is a very delicious thing . Pain au chocolat . Speaking of pain au chocolat , as we know , that's French . Yeah , I've got that's French . Yeah , I've got a stat for you . Yeah , what is it ? Who is the best all-time point ? French NBA star .
Speaker 1French . Obviously , you got to say Tony Parker , he's got to be up there . I think he's like . I think he's like the only really well-known French player , victor Wabinyama . Judging by your face , it's not somebody I would know .
Speaker 2No , tony Parker , victor Wabinyama .
Speaker 1Wait , don't say it though .
Speaker 2Nick Batum , rudy Gobert .
Speaker 1Huh , yeah , that is more surprising than I thought it would be yeah , okay , more surprising than I thought it would be yeah , okay . So what are we talking about today ?
Seven Questions Parents Should Ask
Speaker 2Well , this is going to be an unusual setup , or a conversation , rather , I found , and usually we take turns asking each other questions , but I was on Instagram our best friend Instagram and I found a list called seven questions to ask your kids before it's too late . So we're putting you in the hot seat . You are going to be the one answering all the questions and , you know , be as happy , as honest as you can be , because everybody loves hearing your honesty , and I thank you in advance for being brave enough to answer . Are you ready ? Yep , okay . Question number one what's something you've always wanted to do as a family ?
Speaker 1Something I've always wanted to do as a family . Um , I mean , I don't know if this is like a family thing , more of like a mother-father thing , but I've kind of always wanted a little brother or like just a little sibling in general . But I mean that's not something . I of always wanted a little brother or like , uh , just a little sibling in general , but I mean that's not something I've always wanted to do . Like I can't really do that's I don't know how to explain it like you can't do , just do a little brother , no no sadly , I guess .
Speaker 1I guess maybe play like a , a family pickup basketball game .
Speaker 2Oh , okay .
Speaker 1I don't know .
Speaker 2Well , that might be . That definitely be easier than doing a little brother . Yeah definitely Okay . Well , for anybody out there listening that doesn't know , Esteban is an only child .
Speaker 1Yeah , I'm an only child . I've kind of always wanted a sibling , preferably younger .
Family Desires and Self-Reflection
Speaker 2Oh well , oh well , okay , good answer . Then question number two . This is a tough one . What do you think I don't understand about you ?
Speaker 1what do you , what do I think you don't understand about me first ?
Speaker 1firstly , I have to say say shoes , I don't think at all you understand my obsession with shoes because I want so many pairs and you don't want me . It's not that you don't want me to have a lot of shoes , it's that you don't want me to spend or , like you would say , waste my money on shoes because there's other priorities . Yeah , but I think you don't understand my love for shoes . I also don't think you understand how do I phrase this . I don't think you understand because I don't show it often , so I don't think anybody really understands about like how often I really think about myself and like how proud I am of myself .
Speaker 1Oh , that's nice , think about myself and like how proud I am of myself . Oh , that's nice . I don't think you , uh , or anybody else , would understand , because I never really say it out loud , but if anything , I think you might understand because , uh , you are probably more proud of me than I am of myself actually . No , what I mean is not how proud I am of myself , but more like , how do I phrase it ? How , not so often I think about my pride I guess I don't know how to say it Like how much I do , probably , how often I what the heck was it ?
Speaker 2is it a positive thing you're trying to share ? I don't know if it's positive it's .
Speaker 1It's like in between how , um , I don't think about my accomplishments , or like I'm not , I don't think about how proud I could be if that makes like the way that you're proud of me , yeah , because like I went from being , uh , you know , a student failing class to like the , the chubby Asian kid . Oh , oh my gosh , you know to now being where I am like tall , smarter , faster , Um , you think , but I don't really think about my personal achievements . I see If that makes any sense .
Speaker 2So I don't understand that you don't think about that .
Speaker 1I I don't think anybody understands that I don't really think about anything that I've done , because I think I could do more . I see , but I don't really know how to word it , so I might be wording it wrong .
Speaker 2Well , I think that makes sense . I think we don't often reflect on our accomplishments the way we should , and I don't think I think what you're trying to say is . I think it's less of a me , sorry to interrupt you .
Speaker 1I think it's less of a me thing and more of just a human thing . I don't think anybody naturally kind of just talks about or thinks about their accomplishments all the time . I think they need to be reminded of how far they've come . I don't even think you think of your accomplishments that often , and you've accomplished a lot .
Speaker 2All right so .
Speaker 1I think it's more of just a human thing .
Speaker 2Okay , all right . Well , that sounds like something to think about a little bit more .
Speaker 1Yeah , all right , but yeah , also shoes .
Speaker 2Okay , okay , if you could . Well , this one's going to be a little bit tough .
Speaker 1If you could . Well , this one's going to be a little bit tough , If you could change . The last one was supposed to be tough .
Speaker 2They kind of they get a little bit more difficult . Uh , if you could change one thing about our family , what would it be ?
Speaker 1One thing about our family that I don't have a younger sibling .
Speaker 1Okay , Other than the brother Um one thing about our family that is tough . I wish this that is tough . I wish this is so tough . I wish I wish we all kind of had more similar interests . Like I think , especially in this household , none of us have the same interests . Like we all share a couple interests but I don't think any of us have the same . It's good for us to not just be the same , but I wish we had more connection through other hobbies or interests , like I wish you know , we were more connected through maybe basketball or music , right , because I listen to a lot of music . You don't really listen to a lot of music . You don't really listen to a lot of music . Not really , I'm always listening to music . So I think , like I wish we were similar in the way that we have our own mannerisms , mannerisms and I think that we were able . I think that we I wish that we were more similar so that we could bond more , uh , based on our hobbies , likings and mannerisms .
Speaker 2I see but we do have some similarities though , right yeah , like when I think as a , we find a lot of things to do together .
Speaker 1Yeah , definitely we do . We do a lot of things together . It's not that it's just there . There's more that we could be similar on Got it OK . But it's also good that we're not all the same , because it would be pretty boring ?
Speaker 2It would be pretty boring . Yeah yeah , talking about the same thing every day .
Speaker 1It's nice to get . It's nice that we're different , because I learn things and we learn things from each other that we wouldn't normally know , like just today I learned about the fish with a big hole in its head . I wouldn't really I'd never talk about that fish . I'd never talk about that fish , or I learned about the this , the slug thing , or the snail or whatever it is that , like you know , shoots a poisonous like arm into your body , poisons you and then retracts it and then , like , leaves the boy like I would never learn about any of that stuff , and it's good that we have these separate interests , because we teach each other based on what we love .
Speaker 2Got it , so you would change some differences , but generally you're pretty happy .
Speaker 1Yeah , I'm pretty happy with where we are now , but there's nothing I would really change .
Speaker 2Okay , all right . Well , that's a good answer . Speaking of happy , question , number four is what's the happiest moment you've ever had
Accomplishments and Happiest Moments
Speaker 2?
Speaker 1Happiest moment I've ever had , I gotta say breaking my arm .
Speaker 2Oh my goodness , the first time , or the second time ?
Speaker 1The both times actually so happy no , I'm joking . Obviously . Happiest moment I've ever had , I think , finding out that I was . It's a tough one , it's school-related . Happiest moment I've ever had , either learning that I was going to take an advanced curriculum class because of how well I had done in the grade before , yep , yep , because that was such an accomplishment to me because I was averaging like a 17 at the start of last year . I wasn't good at school , I don't know , maybe I just didn't know . I didn't know anything because I wasn't taught properly . I didn't know anything . So just to go from where I was then and this relates back to the accomplishments thing To go to where I am now , to being , like you know , an acclimated student you know took an advanced class who got that extra credit .
Speaker 1You know , that goes on my college resume yeah , it's amazing .
Speaker 1Like it's , it's just it's , it's uh incredible to me that that's where I went from and that's where I am now and then also , um , recently scoring like my career high . Like to me , that was never like I would never think about that happening , because when I was first at Uchenna last season , I only scored three points . The whole season I only scored one three pointer . Like , uh , just how many points I scored that specific game . Uh to having like enough points to to be able to talk about the games , more , more proud and found fondly , uh , you know , I think I it's , athletically and academically I've traveled a long way and I think , looking back on it now , it makes me happy that this is where I am . And like just looking into the future , like thinking about what does the future behold , like if I had gone this far in this limited amount of time ? Think about the next five more years of high school . That I have Five . Well , I'm in grade nine . I go to Wait . Why did I say five ? I ?
Speaker 2don't know .
Speaker 1Gotta work on that math . Maybe I should go back down . Maybe I'm not as accomplished as I thought .
Speaker 2I was .
Speaker 1But just the next three years . I was thinking of five total years of high school .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Because there's a fifth year , but just the next three years . How much of that will hold me if I've gone this far in one year ?
Speaker 2Cool . Well , I love that your happiest moments are related to your accomplishments and not just the shoes that you want to keep buying . No , no .
Speaker 1I mean , obviously I'm happy when I get like a new shirt or new shoes . Okay , but I'm also I'm much happier when I you know , I get a good grade back . And I'm like think about the oldest man who would literally be crying at this point because this would have been enough yeah , okay , awesome answer .
Speaker 2Uh , this one is even more difficult . What's something you're afraid to tell me but wish I knew this is difficult I know it's tough .
Speaker 1I think we've talked about
Fears, Role Models, and Feeling Loved
Speaker 1it a lot recently and it's just how I feel , kind of upset or like not , I don't know how to phrase it . I don't know how to phrase any of this , because it's very it's a hard hitting question in such a like snap how I've been feeling kind of .
Speaker 2I think you just have to say the words that first come to mind .
Speaker 1Yeah , but they're not the right words . I guess kind of upset like just that . Uh , a lot of things , but mainly the fact that , like I don't know , well , what are you upset about ?
Speaker 2are you upset about not getting new shoes ?
Speaker 1no , I mean obviously , but no , okay , I think , just more like my , I think my fear of missing out on things that other kids do , whether it's , like you know , going to parties , yeah , just meeting up with friends . I think my fear of missing out because of how , how much I have to dedicate to be at the school I am yep , uh , how much I'm giving up . I think it's just like my fear of not completing my social life as a child .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's pretty important . So , listeners , just for some context , esteban's school that he goes to has no more than 50 kids in it , and I think his own grade class .
Speaker 2there are nine of you , there's only six of us , six of them in his grade class and everybody in the school not because it's an all boys school , but just because it happens to be that way is male . So he doesn't get the same sort of everyday interaction that a lot of other kids get to , and because they do a lot of work in the school like a lot of basketball work day and night and then school in the school like a lot of basketball work day and night and then school in the middle there's very little time for other extracurricular activities where he might be able to meet more kids .
Speaker 1Yeah , uh , I think just that's . That's basically it . Just my fear of uh you summed it up pretty much to a T but just my fear of not getting that same experience or not being able to relate back to my childhood , like when I have a kid . Uh , what if they asked me like what were you like when you were ?
Speaker 1younger . I'm not going to be able to tell them , uh , anything similar to where they will be , because um , what's the word ? Because decidedly my or decidedly so my . The way my schooling is is not like other children's right , obviously so . I think , just not being able to relate back on my past like that .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I mean it's like a continuous conversation right , it's a work in progress whether or not you should stay at a school , that is great . Education , wise , academically and physically , it's great . But you are there's trade-offs , you know , and in life there's just always trade-offs . And in this case your trade-off is socialization . But I think you're pretty well socialized , but I know there's always the opportunity to do more and something and different things .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2It'll be interesting to hear from anybody else that has similar experiences how they manage this . Yeah , all right , but there's nothing that you're afraid to talk about that you wish on you .
Speaker 1I'm really afraid , I think . I think I tell you a lot of things . Yep , you sure do like I tell you a lot of how , how I'm feeling , like whatever you know , stuff like that yep , and we're pretty , pretty lucky that you trust us enough to talk about everything that is on your mind . Yeah .
Speaker 2All right , number six who's someone you look up to and why ?
Speaker 1Someone I look up to . Easy answer is like you or Papa or like anybody from the family . Okay , because you're close , you know , I know a lot about you guys . But I think also , I think I look up to Jalen Brown .
Speaker 2Oh , that's nice , and who's ?
Speaker 1Jalen Brown . Jalen Brown is a player for the Celtics , right , but I don't look up to him just because he's an NBA player . I look up to him because of his accomplishments . He went to Pitt Not Pitt Cal , california , caltech so he's obviously very smart just to get in . And then he also made it to the nba . He's one of the best players in the nba and , uh , like you know , he knows like seven languages . He can play multiple instruments . Um , during his like rookie season and his sophomore season so his second year he was also like an astronomer for nasa what yes , like this is a true fact .
Speaker 1He was he . He , he was a scientist , a rocket scientist , while he was in the nba . Like just how he's accomplished a lot uh on and off the court , uh at , and he's not even he's like 27 . Wow , he has so much future ahead of him . Just what he's accomplished and like his message and his faith and his , uh , his overall strength in the mind and in the body , uh , he's just a great influence and his intention and you know stuff like that . He's a he's a great , great influence , that's a great answer . Accomplishments .
Speaker 2All right , um , and then final question , and this is a . This is not a difficult one , but it's a very um . It's kind of a nice touching one and I hope that listeners if any of you are parents out there , I hope some I hope you'll pick up these questions and ask your kids Because this is a good one to ask your kid Number seven what's one thing I can do to make you feel more loved . Buy me shoes . I figured as much I'm joking .
Speaker 1I don't know . I , you , you and dad do a lot for me . I think everybody around me does a lot for me and there's not much more you could do .
Speaker 1Uh , I'm a very , you know , gifted , uh , not gifted , as in not not gifted , but like very I don't know the word very um , would you say fortunate fortunate , fortunate fortunate , very fortunate kid to have the experience , like 17 countries , uh , to have the experience of being at this school where , you know , we play basketball all day and and that's like part of our curriculum and to have this education and this future . I think I'm very fortunate and , uh , you know , I don't think there's much more that you could do to make me feel loved oh well , that's a , that's a nice , that's a great answer .
Speaker 2Thank goodness Feels like I'm doing my job right then .
Speaker 1But yeah , easy one is shoes .
Speaker 2Easy one is shoes . Easy one is shoes . All right , listeners , if there's anything I've learned about this episode or about this kid during this episode , is just get the shoes . Yeah shoes , most importantly Okay .
Episode Conclusion
Speaker 1Yeah , those are . Those are good questions , uh . If you have any other questions , always as always , drop in our dms . Uh at hoops and crumbs .
Speaker 2We would love to hear from you uh , join us next time for more hoops and crumbs on apple podcasts , spotify , amazon music and everywhere else you can find your favorite podcasts . Esteban , thanks again for being so open and honest . I think you did a great job answering those questions on the fly . Maybe next time you can ask me similar questions . Yep , okay , everybody , thanks for listening and we'll talk soon more about basketball cookies and then share other random life musings . Yep , see you .
Speaker 1Bye everyone .