Episode 10: Dating Disasters

In this episode of 'Love Liaisons,' hosts Kathryn and Marina dive into the theme 'This Is Why I Am Single' by sharing humorous and sometimes tragic Dating Disaster stories. They explore awkward and outrageous dating experiences, emphasizing the importance of communication, respect, and understanding personal values and boundaries. From a failed movie date to a sweaty gym-goer, and even to an unexpected late night visit from an ex, the stories highlight the unpredictable nature of modern dating. The hosts also touch upon the impact of texting etiquette and the importance of authenticity in relationships. The episode concludes with a call for listeners to share their own dating disaster stories.

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Transcript

Kathryn 0:17

Welcome to Love Liaisons, the ultimate deep dive into the highs and lows and hilarities of modern relationships. I'm Kathryn,

Marina 0:27

and I'm Marina. And we'll be your love liaisons. So pour yourself a nice glass of wine or a hot cup of tea. And let's dive in. Perfect. So today, we're gonna be kicking off a series that's called, this Is Why I Am Single, and we're gonna talk about dating disasters. So it's time to really pull back the curtain and expose the hilarious and even tragic dating disasters that make us say, never again for this one. But before we get to that, I'm curious, Kathryn, what tea are you drinking today to get yourself through this topic?

Kathryn 1:07

So, I'm so glad you asked, and. I'm gonna have a sip of this black tea. And the reason I decided to pour myself some black tea is because sometimes I feel like when I go out on these dates, I'm completely in the dark and that's not fun. So that's why I'm drinking black tea So what do you have there, Marina? What are you drinking today? I'm having a mug of, really nice wine called The Prisoner. And, if you're familiar with this, it's got,, an etching of Spanish artist, Francisco Goya prisoner with the subtitle. Mm-hmm. Translated to the custody is as barbaric as the crime. And I have to tell you, some of these dating disasters are pretty criminal. So I think that this is a fitting wine for tonight's topic. Definitely. And I'm sure you have some amazing stories as we all do. And so we're gonna. Dive right in and get into those stories, and start our love liaisons episode today.

Marina 2:12

Wow. Well, where do I even begin talking about dating disasters? I've told you this story a couple of times. So let's start with this military guy that I dated a couple of years ago.. Very thick, good looking guy. Definitely attractive. One of my love languages is physical touch, and this guy was very affectionate and touchy, which is nice. I like that. I wanna feel that I'm attracted to somebody and that they're attracted to me. But the dating disaster that we had, and this wasn't our first date, maybe a second or third date, but definitely we weren't at a serious level yet. He wanted to go see a movie with me and he took me to go see Oppenheimer. So that's when Oppenheimer was playing a couple of years ago, and we went to that really nice movie theater the Lot. So beautiful theater and great movie. It's a great movie. But this man wanted to make out during like practically the whole movie. He wanted to make out during Oppenheimer and I'm all into physical touch, but not, while we're brooding over the world's destruction, it was really not sitting the mood for me. We're talking about nuking the whole world and, the whole philosophical end of humanity potentially. And this guy just wants to kiss on my neck. So it was really quite a disaster. It sounds like he really wasn't into the movie. He was more into getting physical with you. Let's get physical, physical, come on, everybody get physical. Okay, I won't do that., Definitely. Believe it or not, I still gave him a chance after that and it was clear that all he wanted to do was get physical. And of course, I'm flattered, but I was looking for much more of a deeper connection.

Kathryn 3:54

Listening to that, I feel being single provides a lot of different scenarios, but it's less about not meeting the right person and more about surviving, the wrong ones at times. And it shouldn't be like that. It should be positive. You're having fun, you're meeting people, you're getting out. But unfortunately in this day and age. It's just trying to get through the date the best you can. I have some interesting stories more, with dating, I remember going on this one date with this gentleman, and it was really sweet that he decided to show up, but he had just come from the gym. Mm-hmm. Completely sweaty, taking the napkin, taking the sweat off of his forehead. And I was just completely turned off. He could have said, Hey, give me an hour, do you mind? Plus he was 10 minutes late and I'm, for the most part, a very punctual person. He didn't text me saying that he was running late. So it just didn't start off right and he just went to the gym, which I love that he works out,, but you don't show up especially to a first date sweating and not smelling good., One of my exes always told me I love your pheromones. He was, obsessed with my pheromones. And same thing, if I smell you and you smell bad, I don't know if I want a second date. They always say, give the person two chances, but it's just not starting the date off. Right. Have you ever gone on a date like that where you're just smelling him and it's a complete turnoff?

Marina 5:21

Yeah., It sounds like the guy was definitely running. He was running late, but he was definitely running. But, it depends on the person. There have been some people where, I really like their pheromones. And so even if they are sweaty from the gym, it really doesn't matter. It's still a turn on, but there's definitely times when people have overdone it. That reminds me, I actually have a story, speaking of, guys that like to work out this was last year., I was dating somebody, from out of town and,, also very fit and great guy. We met dancing., He lives outta town, but he was just visiting here and so he wanted to visit me for my birthday and everything was great. He ended up actually ruining my birthday because. I didn't know that he had a serious back injury and sciatica because he seemed so super fit. And so in the morning, telling me, it's hard for me to walk a little. And then, we were back in my place having a good time. We were supposed to go to, Seneca for a really nice dinner for my birthday. He goes to take a shower and lays down and he can't get up. He's just like calling to me saying I can't move. I pulled my back., He really pulled his back so bad we were unable to go at all, to dinner. I spent my birthday dinner trying to get a chiropractic appointment for him, and,, by the time I got him to the chiropractor, they had already closed. So we went to a therapeutic massage. So basically I spent my birthday getting this man a therapeutic massage to fix his back that he, that he blew out.

Kathryn 6:58

What a good girl. Not being selfish, it's your birthday, he wasn't doing well. He probably should have mentioned something about that or just said, Hey, I don't think I can do this hike..

Marina 7:08

He was trying to be, he was trying to be, a trooper. He was trying to be a soldier it ended ruining my birthday.

Kathryn 7:13

I'm sorry to hear that. Speaking of interesting scenarios, so this is actually pretty funny. I was seeing this person and was set up by this individual, by a mutual friend. Mm-hmm. I think it's really important that you know what your friends think of you before they're setting you up with someone because. Afterwards we're sitting at the dinner table and I said something to him I don't wanna do that. I wanna do this. And he looks at me, he says, you know, our friend, I'm not gonna mention her name. Our friend so and so told me that you were submissive. And I'm looking at him like, what? Submissive? Why would she say that? And, and so it ended up being a big joke because he says, she promised me a submissive girlfriend, right? So you better be submissive. This is not what I signed up for. I didn't, buy into this. And so we would laugh about it, but, it goes back to it's interesting what people think. And when I asked her she was like, oh, well, you sometimes you do just kind of go along with the flow. And I realized that in a lot of my relationships, when men are pursuing me, I just kind of go for it. Instead of thinking, wait a minute is this the right person for me? Let me look at all of this. What are my core values? So it's something to think about, moving forward. I can't do that and maybe be less submissive. wow.

Marina 8:29

I don't see you as submissive at all. Like in, in fact, I see you as really being a, we're not supposed to use like any bad, whereas a boss bee, you're definitely not submissive, but it's interesting that other people see would see you that way.

Kathryn 8:43

Maybe 'cause I'm always helpful, but I, you mentioned boss B, isn't there a song that talks about that? I, I don't know if we can sing that 'cause as a bad word, but. But, uh, my sister sometimes would play that and I'm thinking, oh, this is so dysfunctional, but then I don't wanna sound like this prude older sister either. It's so interesting and I think people need to go back and ask their friends or family or what have you, what are, the five words that you would use to describe me and explain why? Because it gives you an opportunity to really think, okay, that doesn't mean that you're gonna change or anything like that, but to look in within yourself and say is this how I want to represent myself and are there things that I can work on? Feedback is so important and we just need to realize these people still love you. So when they're giving you feedback, try not to take it too personally.

Marina 9:33

Well, one thing that I do take personally is. If, I'm left hungry. Like I said, I was upset when I didn't get to go to this nice dinner on my birthday, but there was yet another incident., We have this guy, as a guest. My friend, Gideon as I mentioned, we had dated before and one time, this was during the COVID time when we were in, Colorado, and he had invited me over and said he was gonna get something to eat., He knew I'm a vegetarian. I tell people all the time. Back then, like the whole, Netflix and dinner was like actually the norm for a date because people weren't going out so much unless you wanted to go hiking or something like that. So we were gonna watch some movie and he went to a wings place and most places have a veggie burger or now they have buffalo cauliflower wings. So this man brings me back a bag of celery. He gets himself an order of wings and he is said you're a vegetarian. So he brings me the side of celery and ranch that goes with the wings. Do you think I'm a rabbit?

Kathryn 10:37

Oh my God. My question to you is, did it fill you up? All those celery sticks?

Marina 10:43

I ended up eating, his kids' chips and fruit snacks some sort of spaghetti.

Kathryn 10:48

Ah. But I bet he felt bad., And that's the thing we don't know. what, we don't know. I would think if somebody told me they're vegetarian, I wouldn't get celery sticks. And he did think of you, but he probably should have called and said, Hey, where can I go to get you a beautiful salad or something like that. But that's sweet. I'm sure he didn't do that again.

Marina 11:07

No, no. But it was just like so shocking to me. We're in Colorado in 2020. Anywhere you throw a rock, you'd hit a vegetarian.. So it wasn't anything unusual. Wasn't the only food or drink related issue I had. I remember going way back and I was 20 years old. I studied abroad in Moscow. We're actually having a reunion of our study abroad program, almost 30 years ago when I studied abroad in Moscow, I actually, met a Russian guy named Sergei, like Sergio, but in Russian Sergei, we started dating. And, uh, one time, you know, uh, I remember he invited me to his place. He lived, uh, it was like a live work studio place. He was a artist. He did sculptures and, I had just gone on a trip to Estonia and brought him back a bottle of vodka. He asked me to bring him a bottle of vodka from Estonia, so I did. We were playing a card game and having some shots and it was like some kind of a drinking card game that we were just playing against each other. He wasn't a little guy. He was way bigger than me and, and a couple of years older too. So we're, we're going on and on and I thought, oh, we're gonna have a fun night. maybe we're gonna have a romantic night. And halfway through the card game, he just excuses himself and goes to the bathroom. And I'm thinking, Ooh, maybe he's gonna slip into something a little more comfortable. And then a minute later, I hear the poor man got sick. I literally drank a Russian adult under the table in a drinking card game with Estonian vodka as a 20-year-old. This is how good my liver used to be.

Kathryn 12:46

They're so yummy. Your stories., this is reality. You mentioned you like to eat. I'm definitely a foodie, and that's one way to my heart if someone knows how to pick a fun restaurant. And I've had so many experiences where I remember this one gentleman, and he was so, so sweet, but he kept asking me, where do you wanna go eat? What do you wanna eat? And I just said, oh, Mediterranean. Now you would think. Most people know what Mediterranean is. Mm-hmm. Okay. Apparently he did not. So on our first date, and it was super sweet. He takes me to this really expensive restaurant downtown and I'm looking at the restaurant, I'm thinking, this is not Mediterranean. I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I hope we're not going Dutch he said, I wanna let you know you said Mediterranean and I didn't wanna seem uneducated about what Mediterranean is. And so he picked like some steakhouse, so not Mediterranean, but it was, really sweet. And he was so nervous.. And so I always try to talk and all of that. Speaking of talking, this is really funny i'm sure most people know by now I am a talker. That's what I do for a living. I help students all day long. And listen to their stories. But I had gone out on this date with this gentleman and he was very quiet. You mentioned Marina a lot, that you're an introvert. Mm-hmm. This gentleman must have been an introvert because I'm thinking to myself, I feel like I'm asking him all of the questions. Why is he not asking me a return question? So if I say, for example, what do you do for fun? The response should be answering it and then ask me, so what do you do for fun? And he would just answer my question and not ask me back. So I was getting like a little perturbed by that. And then as the night progressed, he says, I gotta tell you something. And I was so thankful that he communicated this to me because I was getting like, why is he must not really be interested? He says, I have to tell you. He says, you're making this date really, really easy for me. And I said, I beg your pardon. And he says, well,, you're pretty much doing all the talking for the both of us. So I don't need to think about what to say. And I just had to laugh and I'm like, oh my gosh, this whole time I was thinking that you just don't really like me because you're not asking me the same question back. And so this goes back to make sure you're communicating, having fun with it. But it was so funny that how we saw it both different ways and the fact that I pretty much controlled the conversation.

Marina 15:14

Speaking of that, that really reminds me of some of the best dating disaster stories, are not my own, but others that people have shared with me. I had a older colleague, that I used to work with. It's probably retired now. Was divorced, had adult children, was trying to get out there, over 60, but still going strong. Wanted to get out there and date. And he shared really one of the most outrageous dating disaster true stories that I've ever heard. This man was a really interesting professional in the helping field. And then he also liked to write, write screenplays, write, literature as well, and liked to talk about it. He was a really interesting person that as a colleague I loved having conversations with him. So I was shocked when he told me the story that he invited a lady out on a date. He picked her up. They drove to Coronado for a nice high-end restaurant. He was talking in his usual fashion about all of his interests and his writing and the new script he's working on and all these stories. And then he paused for a second to reflect and said, I hope I'm not too talking too much about myself. I hope I'm not scaring you off. And she ended up excusing herself to go to the bathroom and never came back. And he was shocked. He was sitting in such a way where he could see the hostess, he could see the front door. So he is like, she didn't go out the front door, did she jump out a window of the bathroom? He actually was concerned because, Over a certain age, people could just have a heart attack or a stroke. Nobody was in the women's bathroom. So she literally must have jumped out the window of the woman's bathroom or gone out the back door through the kitchen, like gone out the back Jack, just to get away from listening to his stories. And I mean, my heart really went out to him because I thought he was an interesting guy. And one of the things that he said was, what, if she just came and said to me listen here, Jack, I can't listen to another word. I just wanna eat my meal. He would've said, okay, no problem. Let's eat our meals and I'll, drive you home and we'll call it a night.

Kathryn 17:27

I've never done that. If I'm really just at a point where I literally cannot stand it anymore, I will just tell the person, Hey, I think you're interesting in your own right, but this is just not working. Or I'd say, can we change this subject? But to leave someone, I think it's so disrespectful., And would you want someone to do that to you? What goes around comes around to just leave someone on a date and it's a nice restaurant poor guy. It's just, it's so mean. And then what if she runs into him or starts dating someone he knows and then no one's gonna wanna date her. The community's so small because they're gonna say, oh, she's just gonna leave you on the date. So this goes back to communication communication and I think you were talking to me about this whole business that's come about with. Telling people or showing people the right way to text individuals.,

Marina 18:20

I was surprised you hadn't seen it yet. I get ad after ad on social media about how to make a man desire you, how to text a man, how to text him so that he's uncontrollably in love with you and misses you and,, it really makes me feel a certain way. I feel it's really unauthentic, but there is some truth to it. We talked about before how I really have a pet peeve. I do not like when men text me like these abbreviations like, WYD short for what you doing, at night or whenever through the day. And I've had like really highly educated professional men do that. And it's really a pet peeve of mine. There's this, kind of a self-appointed relationship coach on social media. Derek Jackson, who talks about, any woman who pays over two, $3,000 of her own bills a month does not wanna hear WYD what you do it at, 11, 12 at night.

Kathryn 19:19

So that says a lot about that individual and that it's time to move on. But, yes, I think there's, this gentleman, he's a psychologist His name is, Matthew Hussey, and he's very popular in the podcast world. He's always on social media and he talks about, the proper way to text somebody. And I just gotta say, what did we do in the forties and fifties? Yes, we didn't have that technology, but it seemed like people knew how to have a conversation. So what's happening? As the years go by, are we becoming less and less knowledgeable about communication because we have higher technology capabilities or, I just don't understand why this is a new profession that someone can, just say, okay, you need help. Or you, like you said, miss a man. I think it's sad too because it's not just communication. I think, Hey, if you wanna better your communicative skills, fabulous, wonderful. But to be in a spot where you're trying to figure out how to make the man miss you, you're missing what it's all about, wouldn't you say?

Marina 20:29

Yeah. I find that to be really unauthentic,, like, at my age, at my point in life, I want to have an authentic connection with somebody. And if I miss them, I wanna say, you know,, Hey, you've been outta town, or I've been outta town, or I've been really busy this past week. I miss you without thinking, like some strategy, like,, oh no, I can't give him the upper hand., Or it's like, look, I'm a person. I, I mean, I tell my friends, I miss, I tell my son, I miss him. You know, I just wanna be authentic without feeling like there has to be some strategy involved.

Kathryn 21:08

I think for me, the way I look at it, it, I'm delving even deeper than that. I feel like if a gentleman and all you men out there, you're more than welcome to email us, tell me I'm wrong, what have you. I know everybody's different, but I really feel like if the man is not getting back to you with an X amount of time, those actions speak. Far louder than any words. So if it's been a couple days and he hasn't reached out to you from the last texting that you've done Then probably more than likely he's not that interested. Unless there was an emergency, a death in the family or he's working, a 48 hour shift or something, And if that's the case, why invest that energy? There's other people that you could invest that energy or guess what, invest that into yourself, your growth. Don't worry about the man. If he doesn't have time in a 24 hour day to get back with you, to call you, text you, move on. I don't need somebody telling me how to text, how, to make him miss me. It's not the right route. And you're trying to start a relationship on the wrong foot. I fail anyways.

Marina 22:13

You know what that's called? It's called. He's just not that into you. There used to be book, I think there was even like a show or something called He is just not that into you Absolutely., If a guy is into you, he could be, under an avalanche in the snow, in the Arctic, and he will send a courier penguin to go send you a message.

Kathryn 22:38

They will make the time. If they are making excuses, there's something else going on. You need to have a different conversation. Hey, it seems like you're not that into me. Can you give me some feedback as to why maybe they will won't. I know my ex, my recent ex, he would go canyoneering. I would always worry, because anything could happen when you go canyoneering, it's where you're, for those of you that don't know where you hike up a mountain, repel down,, these mountains,, it's very dangerous. You could die, lot could happen. And he always makes sure he has this tracker device. Then he always makes sure to send me this message, which comes to my email. it's just, it's respect. It comes down to respect. So even if you are busy on my busiest day, look, I have a full-time job. I'm doing this podcast, but I will still make an attempt to at least say, Hey, I've had a really busy day. I know that I told you I would get back with you today, but I am exhausted. I'm not my best self, so can we please just talk another day? It's just being respectful. So where did we lose the communication, the respect and everything under the sun that, comes under that umbrella.,

Marina 23:49

Speaking of respect, certainly, I wanted to share a couple of more dating disaster stories that were disrespectful where people can just be honest. One was a, my cousin shared with me, she went on a blind date, some time ago somebody set her up with this guy and they met at a coffee shop and,, she's average looking,, looking person like, Hey, none of us are vogue models. Maybe you Kathryn,. but whatever. Anyway. That's right. Yeah, exactly.. But anyway, she's a nice looking lady. There's nothing strange about her to warrant this kind of response. So she meets the guy at a coffee shop, he sits down, takes one, look at her, and then comes up with an excuse why he has to go right away it was so obvious that he didn't like something or something wasn't his expectation, because this wasn't an on-call surgeon or anything. And she was just really mortified. This guy could have just sat and had a cup of coffee with me and said, you know what? You are a nice lady, but I'm just not feeling the connection. And, that would've been fine. Totally fine. And, I have had situations like that where I've had somebody tell me, you know what? I just didn't feel the connection with you. I didn't feel the chemistry and you know what, that's fine. It's much better for me at least than ghosting somebody, just being honest and saying, Hey, it's not all there. Wish you the best. You're not the one for me. Good luck. Is that so hard?

Kathryn 25:22

It's interesting. I'm listening to you speak and I think we've all been down there unless you're some of my friends who got,, married on our first date, but,, most of us has been there and it really makes me think about,, this word respect and high emotional intelligence. The people that jump out of the bathroom because they didn't like how long the person was talking, I mean, you know, what if physical is all you care about? Then you need to make sure that you say that ahead of time. And that is the first thing that you do see is the physical. But I just think it's so rude,? You can spend a little bit of time and with the person, and maybe they have a friend that's better for you or something like that. But be a gentleman, be a lady. I think I said this in one of the other episodes, I don't know why we're losing those values, morals., It makes it for dating disasters. I mean, I know if I spent time getting ready and for all you men out there, bless your souls, I can't imagine that it would take you that long to get ready. Although some of you do spend as much time as women. I don't think you understand how much is involved for a woman, most women, to get ready for a date. So it's not like we just shower, well now we gotta blow dry our hair, possibly style our hair. There's makeup. Okay, did we paint our nails? You know, shave our legs, a lot of men will say, oh, well you didn't have to put on makeup. I prefer women without makeup. Well, guess what? Maybe I like wearing makeup. I like the way it makes me feel maybe we're not a match.? So you're thinking that in your head. But it, for the most part, it takes us a little bit of time to get ready. Then you gotta figure drive time and just all these things. And so for a guy or a young lady to just leave after five minutes, it's just says a lot about that person. I think I saw something on Facebook. I think we have a mutual friend and she had posted about. How important it is to men to have this physicality. And I had responded because I wasn't sure which way she was going, if she was making fun of it, but she was talking about, Bezos, I don't know if you saw that from Amazon,. and she was saying, look, he had this intelligent, wonderful wife, and he left her for this woman that looks like some character, out of some clip or something, with the fake boobs and the fake lips. And she's wearing hardly anything. And, and I'm thinking my response to that is I wouldn't wanna be with that person to begin with because if that's what he's attracted to, that he left a quality. And everybody say, define quality, a quality woman and we don't know what the issues were in the marriage, but based on looks for this type of woman, what does that say about him? Don't get me started on his business practices, but I'm just saying obviously he's not a person of integrity and he's not a person that really cares about people. At the end of the day, he cares about number one. This goes back to, you talk about this a lot, Marina, about narcissistic behavior and I'm seeing more and more of this what I call narcissistic tendencies in people. And at the end of the day when a woman says to me,, I'm looking for someone who's successful, and my response is, yes, that's great, but just keep in mind, most financially successful men are gonna have a little bit of narcissistic tendencies. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's all how you look at it. There's many components and you're a psychologist. You can speak more about it than I can,, what are you looking for?, And going back to values, and I'll get in that in a second, but I want you to respond.

Marina 29:03

Certainly, there is something called healthy narcissism, and I'm not a psychoanalyst per se, but I used to work with one that talked about the value of healthy narcissism and that there is some aspect of self-esteem to it. What I've seen are men that, are completely oblivious on many levels to anything except their own wants and needs are not taking feedback and not even that, continue to steamroll over gaslight, lie, manipulate. For their own benefit. They're unable to take feedback and accept no for an answer. And it reminds me of this one other example of a guy I dated some years ago. Luckily it was in the past, really tall, good looking, athletic guy. But he was a player. He was a player and we ended up breaking up and I met somebody else. I met somebody who was, half French and., We were already dating and going to yoga, going salsa dancing. And he happened to be staying over at my place 'cause he lived far away. And lo and behold, the other guy started calling me and this was like late at night. We were already in bed. I saw, I had five missed calls from this guy and I'm just. Ignoring it. I figure he's probably out downtown drinking with his brother, drinking with his boys, and wants to bother me so I don't answer. Five minutes later he's knocking at my door and then he is knocking at my window. This previous guy, he's knocking on my window, knocking on my door. I finally, I actually have to put on a bathrobe, go to the door and say, you have to go away. Like, what are you doing? You have to go away. I'm here with somebody. Why are you at my door? And he's like, oh, I just wanna hang out. See if you wanna what, whatever, whatever BS he was saying, it was like. No sense of reality. And I was so upset. I'm thinking, oh my God, like my new boyfriend. My new boyfriend is gonna think like, I'm a liar, I'm a cheater. He's gonna think like, why is there another guy involved? And so I Send the other guy away, I go back to the bedroom and say, oh, I'm so sorry. And his French side totally came out. And He was like, oh, Marina, oh my God, I cannot believe you. Such a woman. You're so desirable. Men are knocking at your door, knocking at your window. Nobody is knocking at my window. Oh, I'm proud to have such a girlfriend. That's too funny., Like the next day I had to have a talk with the other guy telling him this is completely unacceptable. And I actually ended up calling the new girlfriend of my ex, who came knocking on my door to say you have to put a leash on this guy. But, you know, Part of that example of some people just don't respect boundaries and limits.

Kathryn 32:02

I don't know if he was drunk or what the issues, but completely selfish to think that, oh, you have nothing in your life. Mm-hmm. That you're just gonna be available for him whenever he needs you. So, and I feel bad for people that are listening to this, that are fresh out of a divorce and thinking, okay, I'm ready. I'm gonna get back on the dating scene. And then they're listening to our episode thinking this is what dating's like. Wonderful stories. We're just sharing these funny stories because a lot of people can relate and we just want people to think, okay,, been there, done that, and, that you're not alone. And, but I think what I was saying before is it really goes back to knowing ahead of time, like I was talking about the friend who thought I was submissive, and learning why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again? And, and finally saying, you know what, I need to set boundaries, look in the mirror more, and also understand my values. So I had gone on this site. I wanna say it was Match, even though I'm not really ready to get back out there right now, I get asked a lot. Okay, are you ready? I said, no, my boyfriend and I just broke up a few months ago and, I'm really not ready, but I just got on there because I'm sure most of you out there know this gentleman. His name is Jay Shetty. He's very famous, Indian gentleman. He has a wonderful podcast. He's been on a podcast with, Matthew Hussey and two wonderful men that really help a lot of people out there in the world. And he has this whole quiz and I'm going in there going, yeah, I know my values. And they ask you, a bunch of questions. And based on how I responded, it came back with a couple that I thought it would, I thought it was gonna come back with saying peace, because I always say I just want peace. I want my privacy, I want,, well-roundedness and to be able to. Be with someone that has a full life and we're just adding to each other's life. But it also said kindness. And I didn't think that was gonna be one of the values, the top three values for me, but it came back that my top three values are communication, which makes sense., I like adult conversation. I like deep conversations and to communicate kindness. Okay. And then it was interesting that the last value that came up was humor. And I thought, you know what, that makes sense because I want to laugh and I have a tendency to laugh even at my own jokes, especially when I'm really tired and nobody else is laughing but me. But I'm like, okay, I'm happy. I'm laughing. So that was really interesting. Have you ever taken one of those type quizzes?

Marina 34:42

Certainly, especially personality profiles. That's, where I say one of my highest scoring personality traits is actually introversion. We were thinking about, what does all of this, what does all this mean? We're talking about funny stories of dating disasters, and certainly, I've had no shortage of them, and I think others for sharing their stories with me. What I've really learned about is what are my boundaries and how I can speak up more and be clear, because a lot of times. It's really my personality characteristics and some of them are positive character traits, like openness to new experience, being open, going with the flow. But, somebody can just go with the flow down the river in another direction and you have to stop them and say, Hey, no, this isn't where I'm going with this It's really, taught me to be more open, be a little bit more outgoing and a little bit more firm in saying, this is what's acceptable and this is what's not acceptable. I think, on that note, I'd be happy to hear from our audience. I would love for people to send us stories of their. Dating disasters, bloopers, bums. They've been out on dates with, stories on dating, disasters. You could definitely, like us on Facebook, love liaisons on Instagram, our website. Send us a message of your dating disasters.

Kathryn 36:16

Definitely. We wanna hear from you. That's the whole point. So let us know. You can be anonymous as well. And I gotta say, Marina, because you're an introvert, I would consider myself an introverted extrovert. We need to be each other's wing women when we go out, because I'm gonna get you out of your shell and maybe you'll get me to shut up a little bit., Because I'm just the opposite. I'm the type of person that if you say, oh, he's good looking. I'm already outta my seat, I'm introducing myself. And I'll say, you see my friend over there? She thought you were good looking. Why don't you come over and talk to us? Because I my feeling is the worst thing he's gonna say is, sorry. Or I'm in a relationship, And so I really don't care. I have no problem going up to anyone. You could be the president of the United States and I'll literally be, going through the crowd and introduce myself. This is actually a true story. And then I think we're gonna wind down here this evening, but I actually introduced my sister to her husband, of course, now. They're divorced, but this is a funny story that I will share because I had met him at a birthday party and I thought, okay, he is good looking man, and I knew my sister had gotten out of a relationship. So fast forward, long story short, I call her and I say, Hey, I met this guy. He seems interesting, and I had gone up to him. He was surrounded by women. True story. And I just said, excuse me. And I introduced myself and I just said, hi, my name's Kathryn and may I ask you how old you are? And he's looking at me like who are you? And I said, oh, I just wanted to let you know, I don't know if you're in a relationship or not, but I have a very beautiful, wonderful sister. And he's just looking at me like, seriously, I just wanna have fun tonight. And we left it alone. Well, guess what? I invite my sister to this white party. This is where Everybody dresses in white, and you go to an event maybe on a rooftop or wherever it may be. Well, guess what? I go with my sister and if anybody knows my sister, she's gorgeous. She has a great sense of humor. She's a catch. And, she looked very good that evening and I happened to see him there. So, of course, what do I do? I said, sister, that's the guy I was telling you about. But she was there with another person. So I said, don't worry, I'll take care of it. So I go up to him Once again, he's surrounded by women. I introduced myself and say, Hey, I don't know if you remember me, but I met you at so-and-so's birthday party. I said, and I mentioned my sister once again, he's looking down at me 'cause he was taller than me, thinking what in the world. And I said, see, you're preoccupied not to worry. I just wanted to point her out over there. And so I point her out and he looks, he goes, oh, I would date her. I said, fabulous. Well here's her number. I think you know what to do with that. And the rest was history. Wow. And they went out, they got married. And so everybody, that's my personality.

Marina 39:08

We should go out. Because when I was younger, I used to go salsa dancing with a couple of friends of mine and I would just stand next to them. 'cause they would get asked to dance all the time. And there's only one of them. And all these guys try to ask them to dance. So I would take the leftovers, and dance with the leftovers. I didn't, there's Marina wanna go and,. Introduce myself. I was, I wasn't like that. I was, I'm a little bit of a wallflower

Kathryn 39:35

marina. No, no, you can't do that. One of the things that really love is nature and music and I love it. So the moment I hear a song I'm on the dance for and I don't care, I literally have grabbed a guy's hand and said, come dance with me. And here's the thing, if he doesn't wanna dance with me, he will remove his hand. Okay, fine. And I move on, but I don't have a problem. I say, Hey, you're dancing with no one. Guess what? Now you're gonna dance with me. So I am like the opposite. In that sense, I would say I'm very confident and because I just, I'm never gonna see this person again. So what do I have to lose? But Marina, no. You're not leftovers. Go for it. We're not promised tomorrow. Live your life. Okay. On that note, I really need to take a sip of my tea. Uh, yeah. So I'm gonna have another sip of my

Marina 40:25

wine here. Yes., My lovely. Mm-hmm. So thank you everybody for listening. I hope that you follow us on social media, Facebook, Instagram, love liaisons, and our website. Again, remember, send us your dating disaster stories and we could feature you, in another episode or a little shout out. So I'm gonna take another sip of my tea and I'll have another sip of my wine. So let's keep sipping, keep loving, keep laughing. Cheers for now, from your love liaisons.