S1E2: Would You Rather: From Quadropus to Zeus Goose

What happens when two chaotic brains take Would You Rather way too seriously? We turn absurd prompts into a laboratory for real-life tradeoffs, social dynamics, and the surprisingly practical rules we all live by. From wrangling a “quadropus” to declaring eternal war on the cobra chicken, we test the edges of comfort, logic, and dignity while laughing at how quickly a joke becomes a philosophy class.

Things get personal and oddly honest: sticky fingers or Cheeto dust, tattoos that replay your previous day versus skin that shows your mood, third nipple or extra toe, and the nightmare scenario of who watches whose tape. We examine why teleportation beats mind-reading for mental health, and imagine our intrusive thoughts narrated by Bobcat Goldthwait, because if your inner monologue must be public, it might as well be hilarious. The apocalypse showdown—slow zombies vs ruthless robots—lets us nitpick logistics, shelf life, and why World War Z zombies are a hard no.

Come for the laughs, stay for the strangely useful life calculus. If ridiculous hypotheticals help you think about boundaries, embarrassment, and survival with a smile, you’re in the right place. Hit play, then tell us your wildest Would You Rather so we can feature it next time. If you had fun, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review—what would you rather do first?

Transcript

Cold Open: Quadrupus Debate

SPEAKER_11 0:00

Would you rather wrangle a four-legged octopus or an eight-legged poodle?

SPEAKER_06 0:08

Well it'll be a quadrupus then? Quadrupus.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Quadrupus.

SPEAKER_06 0:12

Yeah, quadrupus. Um bitch hype as hell, quadrupus. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Shit, I'm gonna go with quadrupus. Yeah, four-legged octopus. Imagine it and you're saying like an eight-legged, what was it, a chihuahua?

SPEAKER_11 0:29

Poodle.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

Poodle. I still think poodles are a little wily.

SPEAKER_07 0:34

Yeah, they're kind of dicks.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

An eight-legged, yeah, no, no, no, no. No, yeah. And plus, it would be fun to say, you know, I, you know, what did you do today? I've wrestled a quadrupus.

SPEAKER_05 0:49

I would say a four-legged octopus.

SPEAKER_11 0:51

Quadrupus, there you go. Huh? You had to be there. You had to fucking be there.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

The views, opinions, and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based, and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised.

SPEAKER_11 1:36

Hey Ange, I got a quick question for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

Oh yeah?

SPEAKER_11 1:40

Yeah. Would you rather swim everywhere you go or have to bear crawl everywhere you go?

SPEAKER_04 1:48

Oh man. Uh probably swim.

SPEAKER_11 1:54

Swim? Swimming's a lot of fun. You're gonna get tired pretty quick with that one. You just gotta hope there's water everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 2:00

Right.

SPEAKER_11 2:01

You know what I mean? Because if it's not water, then you're just gonna be just like flapping your hands on like the ground and shit like that.

SPEAKER_04 2:06

Yeah, I guess that's the question. Would you be like always encased in water?

SPEAKER_11 2:11

Maybe this was like the worst game to play. Because you and I are just gonna like, well, hold on a second. Like it's just not straightforward answers. It goes, but wait a minute, what about all these other variables? Anywho, how's it going, silly gooses? Welcome back to another episode of the Silly Goose Society. If you haven't guessed by now or gone completely insane, we're gonna play Would You Rather Silly Edition.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

Well, I have one for you. I'm listening. You're listening. Okay. Would you rather get a massage with chocolate sauce or whipped cream?

SPEAKER_11 2:41

Chocolate sauce or whipped cream? Uh let's go with oh, that's kind of tough. Let's go with chocolate sauce. I like chocolate more than vanilla. More whipped cream, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 3:00

Really?

SPEAKER_11 3:01

Yeah, I love I love chocolate. Like actual chocolate.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

I would think whipped cream would be better for the skin.

Chocolate Versus Whipped Cream Chaos

SPEAKER_11 3:10

Almost definitely not. Like we're talking about like Hershey syrup or like ready whip, or we're talking about like cool whip.

SPEAKER_04 3:18

Same thing. This is why we can't play this game.

SPEAKER_11 3:22

Exactly. But this is gonna be so much fun now. This is what's gonna make it so much more fun.

SPEAKER_04 3:26

Whipped cream.

SPEAKER_11 3:28

Whipped cream. Cool whip. Say cool, cool. Now say whip. Whip. Now put them together. Cool whip.

unknown 3:32

Cool whip.

SPEAKER_11 3:33

That's like one of the funniest bits I gotta make out. Anywho, bringing it back to another different side tangent. Just a little fun fact for the day, a little FF on a Wednesday for y'all. Um probably TMI FF on a Wednesday, but still. Come on. Don't know what's going on. Never never got the hype around like using chocolate sauce and whipped cream, you know, like things like that. Never using condiments in the bedroom. Never got the hype around it.

SPEAKER_04 4:05

Yeah, it's very it's a messy. It is well, I mean it's more messy than messy.

SPEAKER_11 4:11

If you're doing it right, it's always messy. If you do it right, it's always messy. Don't get me wrong. I like I'm not saying like I'm no holier than thou. Let he who's without sin get stoned or whatever the fuck he said.

SPEAKER_04 4:24

Um, I'm just I've done it.

SPEAKER_11 4:27

I just, you know, it's not like oh.

SPEAKER_04 4:29

It's like unnecessarily like there's a lot you're dealing with anyway. I think it's just like, I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 4:38

Yeah. Like I said, I'm not saying it's no, I'm not saying they regretted it or anything like that. And I was like, oh, that that's it, that's enough, right? It's not that. It's just, you know, like, you know, you always felt like, you know, I don't know, maybe I was watching weird shit growing up, you know, like sometimes though, like TV, movies, things like that, it seemed like that was like the thing and like it's sexy.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Well they make it look, they make it, they make it look so like sexy, but like the reality of it, it's not as like I've never found it to be like as great as like the movies portray it.

SPEAKER_11 5:06

Well now, okay, so okay. Would you rather use the regular, like the um I guess the the status quo, sexy foods in the bedrooms, you know, strawberries and whipped cream and chocolates, also the fun stuff, or I don't know. Something else. Or would you rather something else? Like, do you think it would be more enjoyable if it was a different food? Like, do you think that's what it is? It's just like your preference to the food that's being used? Because that's where the song title that's on my list, uh Slap a Slice on Ya Titty, kind of came from.

SPEAKER_04 5:40

Wait.

SPEAKER_11 5:41

Maybe we'll do that for an episode. I'll go through the song titles. I'll go through song titles.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

Um, is it a matter of food taste? I don't know. I I think I I'm um my brain is like frying right now because I'm thinking of like all different types of scenarios. I think I'm just a no on on food in general there.

SPEAKER_11 6:12

You mean to tell me you wouldn't eat a Bucky's brisket sandwich off of like Henry Cavill's ass?

Food In The Bedroom: Myth Versus Mess

SPEAKER_04 6:16

Oh no, I would. Now, if you put it in that context, all day long and twice on Sunday.

Looney Tunes Anger Or Excited Yips

SPEAKER_11 6:30

I'll eat literally anything. Yeah. Anywho, back to it. My question now, right? Yeah. Either way. Would you rather steam came out of your ears like a train every time you were mad? Or would you like kind of bark or yap or yip like a dog every time you were excited?

SPEAKER_04 6:46

Okay, first of all, I'll kind of do those two things anyway. Um because when I get mad, I get mad. Like I get like I think you can literally see steam come out of my ears when I'm like super mad.

SPEAKER_11 7:03

That was a possibility. Um Wasn't that movie with Jonah Hill and Michael Sarah? Oh, that was super bad, not super mad.

SPEAKER_04 7:09

Super bad.

SPEAKER_11 7:10

That's close enough.

SPEAKER_04 7:11

Um or yip, like when you're excited.

SPEAKER_11 7:16

You know what? I'm gonna go ahead and further this one. I'll go a little bit. Would you rather every time you got mad, you were exactly like a fucking Looney Tune? Or like you're sitting there and you're just like and like you literally you literally get more red from like your feet and it goes up and it goes and then you yell and scream just like a fucking Looney Tune. Or, you know, if I was to rip a zip tie into the fucking microphone, we just go, ooh, zip, zip, poof, boof, zip tie, poof. You know what I mean? What would you rather? Like every time you get excited about something, you just you you like yip. You like actually kind of bounce and you kind of yip a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 7:51

I mean, didn't I do that to begin with?

SPEAKER_11 7:54

Kinda.

SPEAKER_04 7:55

I I honestly I think the Looney Tunes, I think the Looney Tunes, because that would give people like a warning, like, oh, oh, she's mad, and and to clear, just to clear out of my way. And leave me, leave me alone until I I come back down.

SPEAKER_11 8:14

I feel it would be a little counterintuitive though, because then like let's let's face it. Let's say you were actually like with somebody, you were getting into an argument, and out of nowhere they just started doing that. You don't give a shit about what you were mad at them for, what you don't care about what your argument was for. You the next words out of your mouth have gotta be, um, the fuck was that? You know what I mean? And like you're it's like no one's talking about what you guys were mad at or arguing about before. We're talking about you literally just doing that. So I feel like nothing would get resolved. Because the subject is instantly changed. And I feel like it's one of those things you'd never get used to.

SPEAKER_04 8:49

Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_11 8:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:53

Yeah. No, I don't I wouldn't want to yip.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

I have one for you.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 9:00

Would you rather have spaghetti for hair or sweat maple syrup?

SPEAKER_11 9:05

Sweat maple syrup or spaghetti for it's gotta be the maple syrup because I love my hair too much.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 9:12

But at the same time, just imagine that. Like, it's like the summer. It's like in the summertime, like in my I'm in like my workshop and I'm just like drenching store. I was like, oh damn. I just like how I just I would just have like a drawer full of pancakes and then just like wipe my forehead and chow down. Wait, that's it's it's maple syrup, so it's sweet and yummy and delicious, and it's not sweat. That's okay, yeah. So yeah, absolutely. Because then it gives me an excuse to have a pancake drawer.

SPEAKER_04 9:36

Right.

SPEAKER_11 9:36

Oh, you go. Okay, so yeah, absolutely sweat.

SPEAKER_04 9:39

Sweat maple syrup.

SPEAKER_11 9:40

Sweat maple syrup, what about you?

SPEAKER_04 9:43

Hmm. I think I'm gonna go for spaghetti for hair.

SPEAKER_07 9:50

Spaghetti hairs?

SPEAKER_04 9:51

Yeah, because I I I would imagine if you sweat maple syrup, you'd eventually get sticky.

SPEAKER_11 9:58

Yeah, you just shower.

SPEAKER_04 10:00

Yeah, but but until you can get to a shower, like if you're across town and you're all sweaty. Or like imagine like during sex and you get all hot and like it would seem like all like sticky.

SPEAKER_06 10:19

Like you're just saying that.

SPEAKER_04 10:25

Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. I think I think I'm gonna go for spaghetti.

SPEAKER_05 10:30

Yeah, you're definitely going for spaghetti.

Whisper Forever Or Always Shout

SPEAKER_04 10:35

Well, here's another one. Would you would you only be able to only whisper or only ever be able to like shout? There's no in-between. You're either whispering or shouting.

SPEAKER_11 10:51

So you clearly are not of Italian descent, or there's not a lot of Italians in your family, because that's just my family. Like, it's just fucking loud. Like people think I'm going deaf because of like the music I listen to and the concerts I go to. No, it's just growing up in the fucking houses that I did. That's why I'm going partially deaf. Jesus, fucking. I I mean, and I'm guilty of it too. Guilty. It's just, you know, product of your environment. But would I only uh I'd probably say whisper, because then it forces people to fucking listen. And if they don't, that's on them. Yeah. Because I think the shouting would just annoy me. So talk like any Italian from New Jersey or talk like Michael Jackson. Got it.

SPEAKER_04 11:35

Yeah. I was trying to think. There was um, I'm trying to think of the actor who always uh gave the advice that like if you're at like a dinner party or something, to always like lower your voice and talk very softly in a whisper because it forces people to give you the attention that you know to the conversation that you're saying. And I'm trying to think what actor that was.

SPEAKER_11 12:02

Anthony Hopkins.

SPEAKER_04 12:04

No, I don't think it was.

SPEAKER_11 12:06

That sounds like some shit he would say.

SPEAKER_04 12:09

For some reason, I'm thinking like it was Bruce Willis or something.

SPEAKER_11 12:14

Oh, Rip. Well, he's still alive, but still. He's still alive, but Rip is. It's still alive, but it's just uh it's sad. Anyhow.

SPEAKER_04 12:22

Yeah. Anyway. We're not gonna Oklahoma that. No, I would go with Whisper.

SPEAKER_11 12:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:27

Yeah.

Quadrupus Returns

SPEAKER_11 12:28

A careless whisper. Would you rather wrangle a four-legged octopus or an eight-legged poodle? Will it be a quadrupus then?

SPEAKER_06 12:42

Quadrupus.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Quadrupus.

SPEAKER_06 12:45

Yeah, quadrupus. Um bitch as hell, quadrupus. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 12:52

Shit, I'm gonna go with quadrupus.

SPEAKER_06 12:54

Yeah, four-legged octopus.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

Imagine it and you're saying like an eight-legged, what was it, a chihuahua?

SPEAKER_11 13:02

Poodle.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

Poodle. I still think poodles are a little wily.

SPEAKER_07 13:07

Yeah, they're kind of dicks.

SPEAKER_04 13:11

An eight-legged Yeah, no, no, no, no. No, yeah. And plus, it would be fun to say, you know, I, you know, what did you do today? I wrestled a quadrupus.

SPEAKER_05 13:25

I would say a four-legged octopus.

Handshake Yourself Or Offer A Foot

SPEAKER_11 13:27

Quadrupus, there you go. Huh? You had to be there. You had to fucking be there. Get fucked. Well, then you're a septipus. What? That's like what that's like my favorite line in Finding Dory. Boba, an octopus. I only got seven arms. Well, then you're not an octopus, you're a septipus. Huh? Well, you're a septipus, you only got seven. I may not remember anything, but I can count. I love that line. It's so great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:52

Oh, where'd it go? Where'd it go?

SPEAKER_11 13:53

Uh oh, yeah, there's the other one. Uh, would you rather shake hands with yourself every time you meet somebody or have to offer your foot as a handshake?

SPEAKER_04 14:05

Oh, shit. Shake my own hand.

SPEAKER_07 14:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:09

Yeah. Because I'm not the most graceful of people. And I would be like every yeah, I would fall over.

SPEAKER_11 14:22

Yeah, okay, at first, but let's face it, after like a couple of months, you're gonna get pretty fucking good at that. Yeah, I'm kind of anything like that that maybe you don't have the physical capabilities to do. I'm I'm just going out on a limb and saying that you're going to so like bear crawls. Bear crawls are an actual exercise and they kind of they're a pain in the ass. They're not exactly the easiest thing to do for quite a while. After time, though, you're gonna get pretty fucking good at it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_12 14:48

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_11 14:48

So I'm just gonna go ahead and say that. Like if there's anything that causes some type of a physical or some type of like an actual like um skill or ability to do, I'm just gonna go ahead and say, maybe at first it's a little shaky, but you'd fucking get it.

Horse‑Size Goose Or Tiny Horses

SPEAKER_04 15:03

Yeah. Yeah. Would you rather fight a horse-size goose or a hundred goose-size horses?

SPEAKER_07 15:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 15:23

I know I said we're gonna do our best not to cut this one, but is it just bare knuckled or do I have some form of weaponry?

SPEAKER_04 15:33

You're bare knuckling it.

SPEAKER_11 15:35

Bare knuckling? Give me that fucking goose. Give me that horse-size. Give me that horse-sized goose. Yeah, they got teeth. I also got balls of steel and a shitty attitude. So I'm gonna fight that fucking goose. Especially if it's one of those fucking Canadian ones, those goddamn cobra chickens. I'm fucking that asshole up.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

But right but those things, yeah, I'm uh we're talking about a horse-sized goose.

SPEAKER_11 16:02

Yeah, I know. That's also a okay, you know what? And I'm also gonna be that asshole more. It's gonna want more clarification. Technically, a pony is a horse.

SPEAKER_04 16:10

Oh god. Okay.

SPEAKER_11 16:12

A Clydesdale is a horse. Am I talking the size of like a pony, like a normal size horse, or am I talking like a fucking Clydesdale?

SPEAKER_04 16:19

Okay, I'm gonna go with Clydesdale. It's massive.

SPEAKER_11 16:22

I'm still fighting that fucking goose, man. I'm going for it.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

Are you?

SPEAKER_11 16:25

No, yeah, I'm going. See? Hey. Worst case scenario. Worst case scenario in this situation. I'm welcomed into Valhalla. That's the worst case scenario. Is that I fucking die, this thing fucks me up, and I go to Valhalla. That's the worst case. Best case, I fought a giant fucking goose. I'm absolutely fighting the giant goose.

SPEAKER_04 16:50

I think it would be it would be easy to fight through a bunch of tiny po tiny horses. Yeah, but horses are like, I kind of like horses.

SPEAKER_11 16:58

Do you know? It would be kind of funny seeing like all the little tiny horses that come at you.

SPEAKER_04 17:03

You just kind of like Yeah, you could kick them. You could like, you know, just kick them out of the way.

SPEAKER_11 17:09

I see you kind of turning into like the Ents in Two Towers at the end when they're fucking up, you know, they're at Isengard, and I see you just like grabbing one or just like brushing your arms back and forth and just like scything down like ten of them at a time.

SPEAKER_04 17:23

Yeah, yeah. I think it would be a lot easier.

SPEAKER_11 17:26

Nah, give me the one Clyde's. I oh yeah, no, I think that's the easier one. It's just I'm loaded with spite and rage against cobra chickens. So give me the one fucking, give me, you know, the Zeus goose so I can fight it. Make an example of that asshole. Final boss. Yes, the final, yes, like the Zeus goose. That's what I'm calling it for now on. Someone save it, make a note of it somewhere. Whenever I say Zeus Goose, I mean a big fucking goose.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

Big fucking goose.

SPEAKER_11 17:55

Big. Yeah. Um all right, hit me.

SPEAKER_04 18:00

Not literally.

Eyelash In Eye Or Hair In Crack

SPEAKER_11 18:03

Oh, where's I had it going, I had it going. Oh man. Uh would you rather always have an eyelash in your eye or a hair in your butt crack?

SPEAKER_04 18:22

Oh, hair in the butt crack. Yeah. I hate eyelashes in my eye. I hate that.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

They're so fucking the worst.

SPEAKER_04 18:31

Anything in my eye. Like, that's just the worst.

SPEAKER_11 18:34

It's pretty goddamn terrible. Like it's a big thing. Don't play the games, uh, what is it? Fucking Dead Space then. Dead Space 2.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

Well, and plus I think I think women are probably more used to like wearing thongs. Like you're used to having a strip of something there.

SPEAKER_12 18:54

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

So, like, what's a hair when you're used to like wearing a thong?

SPEAKER_11 19:04

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

What about you?

SPEAKER_11 19:10

What about me?

SPEAKER_04 19:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 19:14

Yeah, give me the hair in the butt crack. Give me the hair in the butt crack for sure. Well, one, because like you said, the eyes, like, there's very few things that give me the ick and like kind of skeeve me. Um on that list, pretty close to the top, is like anything to like the eyes. Like in movies, if they're like, ah, you know, whatever the so like that one scene in Game of Thrones, yeah, homie wasn't cool with that one.

SPEAKER_04 19:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 19:38

The only time I was okay with it because I hated that asshole so much was in season one of The Punisher. I was okay with that. I was totally fine. I was okay with that. Anyhow.

Toilet Drink Or Litter Box Pee

SPEAKER_04 19:52

Yeah. Um, I feel like this is an easy one, but I find it funny.

SPEAKER_06 20:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

Would you rather drink from a toilet or pee in a litter box?

SPEAKER_08 20:08

The litter box, hands down.

SPEAKER_04 20:10

I know.

SPEAKER_08 20:12

The litter box, hands down, down. Which actor was it? Like on an interview?

SPEAKER_11 20:20

Was it George? It was George Clooney, wasn't it? George Clooney. It was George Clooney. Oh my god, I love that story.

SPEAKER_04 20:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_11 20:27

Oh my god. I want to say okay, back me up on this one. So we're not going to like horrible details, but I'll say it was before he was like before he was George Clooney, lol. Like before he was like a serious actor. He was like living with a roommate and they had like this cat that was annoying. I don't know, but he took a shit in the litter box and like to to mess with his roommate because thinking like something was wrong with his cat.

SPEAKER_04 20:46

Yeah, because his roommate was like, I mean, it was a kitten, it was like a little kitten. And he was like, so George was like, he was cleaning the litter box because he was unemployed. He was and but the but the roommate was like, like, my cat is not using the litter box, it's not pooping. And he was like concerned. Um so one day he was cleaning the litter box and just like it's like a massive, massive shit in the litter box, and then left it for his roommate to, and then his roommate was like, Oh my god. It was just a little itty bitty little thing. Like, there's no way that that cat had that much poop in it.

SPEAKER_11 21:28

Oh my god. I don't, I'm telling you, what makes that story so funny isn't just the act of the prank alone. Don't get me wrong, that's a funny fuck, that's funny as hell to do someone. But the fact that it's George Clooney, this man has built himself to be some form of some essence, his aura, his whatever, is like sophisticated and gentlemanly and handsome and suave and also that kind of fun stuff.

SPEAKER_04 21:52

Right.

SPEAKER_11 21:52

And then like, dude, that's so funny. That is so like if Adam Sandler said he did that, he goes, Well, yeah, that checks out. Like he'll do that. You know what I mean? Like he did that. But the fact that it's George Clooney, that is so that's what makes it so much funnier.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

I don't know. Like in my head, Canon, Adam Sandler just uses the litter box as he just uses as just a normal way of life. Yeah. But George Clooney, no way. Like, I mean, I just look at him differently now, just picturing him like squat over a litter box.

SPEAKER_07 22:31

That's so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_11 22:32

Anywho, before we go further down this round.

SPEAKER_04 22:34

Further down this round. Yeah, hit me, hit me with one.

SPEAKER_11 22:38

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

Pull us out of this. Let me out!

SPEAKER_06 22:43

Let me out! This is not a dance.

SPEAKER_11 22:46

Um, wait, where'd it go? Where'd it go? Uh shit, where'd it go? Uh would you rather have sticky fingers forever? Or Cheeto dust fingers forever.

SPEAKER_04 23:00

Ooh.

SPEAKER_11 23:03

You know, not like your hands are like you're getting stuck to everything and like, you know, like you got fucking suction cups in your hands. You know, you just you got a little bit of that sweaty maple syrup on your hands a little bit. Just that little like.

SPEAKER_04 23:15

Oh man, I think that's a good thing. Or the Cheeto dust. Both of them are like as much as I hate to say it's probably the sticky, sticky fingers. I know I would hate it. I guess you'd get used to it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_11 23:31

I'm assuming any of these horrible things you would get used to and be like, yeah, it's my life, tough shit. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 23:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 23:39

Ugh. Yeah, it's pretty rough.

Mood‑Skin Or Daily Story Tattoos

SPEAKER_04 23:42

Here's a good one for you. Would you rather have skin that changes color based on your emotions or tattoos that appear all over your body depicting depicting everything that you did yesterday?

SPEAKER_11 23:57

Oh, that one, the tattoo one for sure. Definitely the tattoo one. Cause I don't even want to go to that be like a mood ring or something like that one. Like I'm just like changing colors.

SPEAKER_04 24:10

Yeah, based on your emotion.

SPEAKER_11 24:12

Yeah, absolutely not. Absolutely not that one. Yeah, give me the uh give me the uh the Maui tattoos that you know change and dance every day about what I did.

unknown 24:24

Huh.

SPEAKER_11 24:25

It's gonna be a lot of crying, a lot of wanking, and a lot of coffee.

SPEAKER_06 24:33

Every day.

SPEAKER_04 24:36

I'm glad you said it, not me. Because I was gonna go, really everything? It's gonna show everything.

SPEAKER_11 24:46

Everything. No shame. All right.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Can I can I go again?

SPEAKER_11 24:53

Yeah, go ahead. You gotta something told me you had another one.

SPEAKER_04 24:57

Yeah. Would you rather have a third nipple or an extra toe?

SPEAKER_11 25:01

Ooh, is the extra toe on my foot or is it somewhere else? And same with the nipples. Is it am I like the chick from um uh total recall? Or same thing, like that nipple is on like it's like in my armpit or it's like behind my ear. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 25:16

Oh man, I it's not specific.

SPEAKER_11 25:18

So I guess if it doesn't state, okay. I'm going off of Magic the Gathering rules, you know, semantics and like actually if if it's not listed, then it's just where it is. So the extra toe is on my foot, and the extra nipple is in my nipple area.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

Okay. Which would you rather have? You'd have the the toe?

SPEAKER_11 25:45

Yeah, just give me the toe. I don't know, it's something else that's kind of there. I already look listen, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it.

SPEAKER_08 25:49

There's that else is already there.

SPEAKER_11 25:51

It's already there, right?

unknown 25:53

What?

SPEAKER_11 25:53

It's just one more thing that's there. Like, okay, big fucking deal. You know what I mean? As to where, like, yeah, you gotta like ex- you can hide the extra toe, like pretty easily. Like, for the most part, in the summertime, I almost never have a shirt on, so I was like, I gotta explain it. What the why is that guy got pepperoni stuck to him? Oh shit, that's a third nipple. Like, no, absolutely not. Is that a milk dud? The fuck is that, man? You know, no, I'm just not doing that. I'm just not going through all that bullshit.

Spider Or Moth; Elbows Or Knees

SPEAKER_09 26:20

Is that a milk dud? And it's like for guys, like, what's that fucking well yeah? My nipples are like milk duds.

SPEAKER_11 26:27

You know what I'm talking about? I love I fucking love that movie. Another episode, that fucking movie. Just that whole movie. That's so silly within itself. Anywho, there was that book that like my health teacher like had we like kind of talked about with I don't know, there was some some book when I was back in like middle school or something like that that the health teacher had it goes, why do boys have nipples? And it made me giggle. Because it was like, it's true. Why do I have nipples? They're dumb, they do nothing, they're just there.

SPEAKER_04 26:52

I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me? That was great. Thank you. You can milk anything with nipples. All right, it's your turn.

SPEAKER_11 27:05

Oh, let's see. Would you rather swallow a spider or a moth?

SPEAKER_04 27:10

Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_11 27:12

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

Oh, moth.

SPEAKER_11 27:15

Yeah, the moth. That's pretty horrible.

SPEAKER_04 27:17

Yeah. Oh, I don't like spiders.

SPEAKER_11 27:20

Yeah, no, I'm I'm good. I'm good. Um, let's see. I got one more here, too. Oh, that one, this one's pretty funny, too. Would you rather not have elbows or not have knees? You still have arms, you still have legs. It's just they don't bend at the elbow or the knee. So the only movement is at the only movement is at the hip or at the shoulder. So there's no flexion of the arm, there's no extension of the leg. It's just hip or shoulder.

SPEAKER_04 27:56

Man, um probably a knees.

SPEAKER_11 28:02

Not have knees, just straight legged.

SPEAKER_04 28:04

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 28:08

Alright, everyone's thinking I'm just gonna say it.

SPEAKER_04 28:12

And now I have very specific reasons.

SPEAKER_11 28:15

Yeah, because you're a fucking Nazi. That's why. That's just how you're oh, because you'd be goose stepping, walking like a goose everywhere now, just honk, the honk, the honk.

SPEAKER_09 28:28

A mustache on your fucking bill there.

SPEAKER_04 28:31

Like, no, there's just specific like movements and things that you need your elbows for. I don't know.

SPEAKER_11 28:39

Go ahead. Enlighten us. The most necessary movements.

Teleport Or Read Minds

SPEAKER_04 28:48

I mean, okay, what I'll I'll keep uh okay, just to like to be able to eat, to drive.

SPEAKER_11 28:59

Well, want to know what that one's like.

SPEAKER_04 29:01

Um to do other things that bring a lot of joy and pleasure to your life. Yes, flick your bean, you get it in other people's lives. Like the elbow comes in handy.

SPEAKER_11 29:18

Just picture trying to do it to someone else with the most straight ass arm. You're just like you're just like Harlem shaking it out with your fucking elbow. I wish I was out of camera so you could see what I just did.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

That would just be like not good for either party.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 29:38

Why are we like this?

SPEAKER_11 29:43

Oh how much time do you got? There's reasons why I'm like this.

SPEAKER_04 29:50

All right. Would you be would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or be able to read minds?

SPEAKER_11 29:58

Uh teleport on a wanted. Know what people think. We teleport, it's so much easier. Plus, I don't drive as it is, like oh, true.

SPEAKER_04 30:05

True. Yeah, that would be very handy.

SPEAKER_11 30:07

That joke completely went over your head when you said that one last conversation, but I digress. Um so yeah, no, just give me the teleportation. I'm already terrified that I think I know what everyone thinks of me anyway, so don't actually let me know what everyone thinks of me. Let me just live, let me just, you know, ignorance is bliss. Let me just live like that.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

I would think though that you could make a lot of money on people's secrets, their secret thoughts, and you'd be like, I already do.

SPEAKER_11 30:37

I'm like, which is funny because it's like I'll never the very first time I saw the second Hunger Games, and Fennec told like what his currency was. I was just like, damn, is this motherfucker me? But hot.

SPEAKER_04 30:50

Don't get me started on Fennec. I just finished speaky blinders.

SPEAKER_11 30:57

I forgot how long ago we talked about that movie. I think it was you that said it goes like, listen, I'm just gonna say this. I've never been jealous of a sugar cube in my whole life. I died. I fucking died when you said that. I've never been so jealous of a sugar cube in my whole life.

SPEAKER_04 31:12

Yeah, yeah. That that sugar cube, that was the uh main character in that scene.

unknown 31:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 31:20

Oh my god, one little fucking one more thing about this dude, and then we'll get back to playing the game.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Did you know he's gonna play Edmund Dantes and another telling of the Count of Monte Cristo?

unknown 31:33

Shut up.

SPEAKER_11 31:34

I swear to fucking god. Shut up. I keep forgetting his name, but you know, like the other like super most important character in the movie? The old man that he meets in prison. I keep forgetting that character's name. But the guy who like tells him, yeah, revenge is cool and also that kind of bullshit. That dude? Yeah. Fucking Jeremy Irons. That is that is like the most underappreciated voice. Like, when was the what's the last thing you remember him being in? Batman. You know what I mean? He was Alfred and Batman. Uh Batflick. With Batflick.

SPEAKER_04 32:17

I yeah, I guess. I mean, I I just there's a show I'll watch and he's on it.

SPEAKER_11 32:21

So Oh, so I'll go fuck myself then.

SPEAKER_04 32:23

Cool.

SPEAKER_11 32:24

But no, seriously, I feel like no one, you know, obviously everyone talks about like James L. Jones and Morgan Freeman and people say Sam Jackson, not because he has a nice voice. I think he's got a normal voice, he's got a bad voice, got a normal voice, but he just says motherfucker all the time. So like, yeah, I get it. But like something about Jeremy Iron's voice, it's just it it commands.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 32:46

You know what I mean? Not like a menacing way, like you just yes, sir. Like you just can't help it. There's just something about it. And let's face it, be prepared. It's just chef kiss.

SPEAKER_04 32:57

Well, speaking of voices, oh fuck. Would you rather have your life narrated publicly by Morgan Freeman or have your inner thoughts announced by Gilbert Godfrey?

SPEAKER_11 33:11

Okay. Counteract. I'm gonna go ahead and say Gilbert Godfrey on that one. So now I'm gonna put my bang down, flip it, and reverse it. Same question, different people. Would you rather your life be narrated by Sam Jackson? Or would you have your innermost thoughts said out loud by guess who?

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Oh God. I I don't, I'm afraid to even ask.

SPEAKER_06 33:40

What she wanted me to do, she wanted to send an email to the boss to fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_12 34:13

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 34:22

Oh God. Oh, I think I hurt something. Shit. Oh God.

SPEAKER_07 34:35

So fucking oh man. So funny.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

Bobcat. Yeah. Cause Bobcat.

SPEAKER_11 34:42

Yeah, I said him narrating your intrusive thoughts or your innermost thoughts. He's your Jiminy Cricket, but it's loud for everyone to hear.

SPEAKER_04 34:51

Yeah, it would be funny. I'd have to go there just because it would be so funny. Like no one could get mad because it would be so fucking funny. And so like it would it would catch people off guard and be a little off-putting and funny. Like people would be in probably like the first time you watch Police Academy.

SPEAKER_11 35:12

It's like you're like, what the fuck is that? But it's hilarious. Like he doesn't even he just kind of is. He's just is in that movie, but he's just so goddamn funny. Yeah. Because it's just so ridiculous. 100%.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

Yeah. Oh man. Alright, hit me.

SPEAKER_11 35:35

Uh, would you rather be covered in scales or fur?

SPEAKER_04 35:39

Fur. Because then I could be petted.

SPEAKER_12 35:45

You could be petted.

SPEAKER_11 35:51

I'm pretty much already covered in fur, so I'm going scales. For those of you who have never seen me. I'm a very hairy man. Should I use my my the voice the world knows or the new voice that I've been trying to use more consciously to say that? I'm a very hairy man. And it doesn't have that same ring to it.

SPEAKER_04 36:20

Yeah. Would you rather face a zombie apocalypse or a robot uprising?

SPEAKER_11 36:26

Okay, hold on. I don't give a fuck how much time we spend dissecting this one, going over the variables, but I've lived through both of those scenarios about a thousand times a fucking day. What kind of zombies are we talking about?

SPEAKER_04 36:37

Oh, what kind of zombies?

SPEAKER_11 36:39

Um just give me a franchise.

SPEAKER_04 36:42

World War Z.

SPEAKER_11 36:44

Absolutely not. I don't give a fuck what robots it is. The robots. Don't care what robots. World War Z zombies, not a chance in fucking. There's there's there's one that's a hard no, never, and it's the World War Z zombies. Hands down. A very close no, like is the 28-day zombies. Mainly because they're just normal zombies, they run, but they're not super fast, whatever. It's just how wildly contagious the disease is. Like the blood can, or same with um planet terror. The blood just touches you. It doesn't get into you, it just has to touch you and you're infected. Yeah, that's a hard fucking no, dude. Like that is rough.

SPEAKER_04 37:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 37:28

Other than that, you know, we can have a yeah, so it it that's that's a no contest. I don't even give a fuck what robots it is.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

So what if it what if it's like walking dead zombies?

Parents Watching Tape Nightmare

SPEAKER_11 37:37

Oh, zombies all day. Put them in the walking dead all day. I don't give a shit. Cause that's because those are probably some of the more believable. I mean, okay, I'll I'll I will preface this. I stopped watching the second episode of the season when Negan appeared. Not because technically he appeared in the season finale of one season, and then there was the season premiere with him. I watched one episode after that, and I gave up on the fucking show. I have not watched anything after that. So I don't know if they've pulled like a Resident Evil and now they're like mutant zombies, or if they're still just kind of the slow the deteriorating zombies. I'll take those zombies any given day because those are the more believable ones, which is crazy to me. The zombies are more believable to me, not the rest of the world and whatnot, because you know, who the fuck's making all the gas and everything else? But I digress. Um that show's been going on for like 15 years, man. Gas has a shelf life, medicine has a shelf life, stuff has a they still got we're not going to that. We're not going into that.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

We're not going into that.

SPEAKER_11 38:39

We're not going into the fucking the zombie apocalypse started in 2010. How the fuck did they have a 2013 Hyundai? I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I'm just gonna say it, man.

unknown 38:51

Right.

SPEAKER_11 38:52

But I digress. Uh yeah, no, give me yeah, give me the walking dead any day. That seems like the more reasonable, um, I guess believable zombie outbreak and survivable ones if you can. 100%. Yeah. And then like oh fuck the Terminators, man. That was rough.

SPEAKER_04 39:17

Yeah, I think I think I would fare pretty good in the in a robot uprising.

SPEAKER_11 39:25

See, my thing is with that one, what's difficult. I'm trying to just like think of you have to actually like go back to like specifically if we're going for the Terminator with Skynet, which is all electronics, all the database, Skynet, which is everything connected. That's really hard to like stay off the grid off the radar, because like you can't use electricity in like any kind of way. Like you have to go very Stone Age, very primal for whatever it is. So everything is much slower. You know, as as so it's like, yeah, there's power that we can use, but like as soon as you plug in and you start sending, you know, go to radio for help, wherever the fuck it is, they're gonna know where you are. So you have to like always be on the move and this one, like there's a lot more thought I feel that have to be like in their resistance that they do in those movies and yada yada and all that shit.

SPEAKER_04 40:20

Um Do you feel like you could still befriend them though?

SPEAKER_11 40:23

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 40:25

No.

SPEAKER_11 40:25

Not a chance in hell. No. I mean if you're gonna do what they're gonna do in the movie and you rewire one, one, what the fuck are the odds that you're gonna have the one and it's always like the 13-year-old kid who was literally born in this and somehow he knows how to do the fucking quantum, whatever the fuck that like developed them. What the fuck, man? Anyhow, it's always like a 13-year-old kid who hasn't spoken like ever.

unknown 40:50

Right.

SPEAKER_04 40:51

And his dad, no schooling, doesn't know anything about like equations or he literally knows nothing.

SPEAKER_11 40:57

He he was born and raised. It's like even you know, what not even West Philadelphia born and raised. This motherfucker was born like in the shit. Born in the apocalypse. The world has ended and he was birthed. Society is so different, and somehow they always know like Quantum Mechanics. Exactly, quantum mechanics and biomechanicals, other fun scientific words, and this, that, and the other thing. Like, they're the IBM supercomputer and chat GPT. Like, what the fuck? How the hell do they know all of this fun stuff? Like, oh, because he watched this, that, and the other thing. Yeah, that person didn't fucking know what they were doing either. Like, two weeks before that kid knew, oh, because my father did this. Your father was a fucking grocer. Like he worked at the produce action at the at fucking Kroger's. This motherfucker stocked apples, and then Skynet goes alive and he just happened to like know how to use an AK-47. Like, how the fuck does he know how to do all this shit? You know what I mean? Oh, because he took apart a cell phone.

SPEAKER_04 42:02

Oh.

SPEAKER_11 42:03

You know what I mean? I got feelings towards some of these science fiction movies.

SPEAKER_04 42:08

You have lots of thoughts and feelings.

SPEAKER_11 42:10

I do.

SPEAKER_09 42:11

It's okay to have big feelings, or whatever the fuck Miss Rachel says. Um, but yeah, no, so it's like it's more difficult as toward that one, it's it's just zombies. They're they're the slow ones. You just gotta, you know. I don't know. I've been waiting for the zombies.

SPEAKER_11 42:28

That's all I gotta say.

SPEAKER_10 42:30

I've been waiting now.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

Alright, you get to ask me one last one.

SPEAKER_10 42:35

Una mas.

SPEAKER_04 42:36

Una mass make it a good one. Oh.

Bearded Woman Or Guy With Boobs

SPEAKER_10 42:42

Uh, what was one of the uh oh fuck, what was one of the really funny ones? Um, I'm trying to remember. Uh give me a second, give me a second, give me a second.

SPEAKER_04 42:49

Wait, can you growl like that again?

SPEAKER_10 42:51

No, I'm good.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

Just for science.

SPEAKER_10 42:54

Science, yeah, okay. Uh let's see.

SPEAKER_11 42:59

Um, would you rather have um would you rather have to go through your search history with your parents? Oh no, there's what it was. Would you rather have to sit through watching videos of every time your parents had sex or sit or have your parents sit through every time you had sex?

SPEAKER_06 43:36

Oh god.

SPEAKER_11 43:38

That's what it was. That's that was like uh remember when Ask the Internet was a thing X amount of times like on in on uh Instagram? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

Is there an option that I just put a bullet through my fucking head?

SPEAKER_11 43:50

I mean, come on, let's face it. Everyone's picking that one. Everyone's picking that option.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

I'd rather shoot myself in the fucking face to have either one of those happen.

SPEAKER_11 44:00

Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking play the card. You have to give me an answer, but I'll let you cut it out if you want, and I'll ask you another one that's not so ridiculous. Okay, so I either have to go through and watch my parents or You either have to watch your parents every single time, from the very first time they had sex to the most recent time they had sex. You have to watch the whole team, the whole time, whole everything. No speed it up and no highlight reels, no none of that shit. It's every every single time. Or same, or you have to make them watch you every time you've had sex, same thing from the very first time to the most recent time, all the way through.

SPEAKER_04 44:42

And this is sex with other people.

SPEAKER_11 44:47

Yeah, we'll go with that.

SPEAKER_04 44:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 44:50

I mean, unless you want to watch every time that you, you know.

SPEAKER_04 44:54

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_11 44:55

Playing the underpants DJ. DJ underpants, that's what it's called.

SPEAKER_04 45:00

Um oh god, this is really like this is difficult. I I would I would probably say them, me, just because the thoughts of anything with like well uh no.

Ostriches Or T‑Rex; Chicken Or Orangutan

SPEAKER_11 45:24

Yeah, see that's I feel that's the easy answer to that. Like, there's no if anyone even remotely says they don't want their parents to them, they would rather watch it. What is wrong with you? You need to be studied by science. You need you need an ice pick lobotomy immediately. I mean your brain needs to be studied for science if you choose watching your parents.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

Like, I don't know, maybe if my you know parents were like, you know, the Beckhams or something, I don't know, but you know, like even that. Like but that's still but that's still your parents, though. Like even if like they were there was like Henry Cav, your your father was Henry Cavill and you know, whoever he's with, yeah, it would still be icky because it's exactly it is still your parents, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 46:08

Yeah. I also feel that like the the the the Beckhamites or whatever the fuck they call their kids, I think that they have an understanding that like, yeah, their parents are attractive. You know what I mean? But like you say, it's still their parents. It's still their parents. They see them and they know them completely different than we see and know them. Yeah. You know what I mean? So yeah, no, it's definitely make your parents watch what you do because you're just like, I fucking judge if you want. Like you birthed me. You could have stopped all of this, but you didn't. You could have you could have stopped all of this. Yeah. Oh. I feel that's the only answer to that one.

SPEAKER_04 46:44

Do I have to be in the room while they watch it?

SPEAKER_11 46:47

Yep, you gotta see, you guys are sitting there on the couch. Yep. You can't leave. There's no pea breaks, it's paused. All of it.

SPEAKER_04 46:59

I don't know. That would that would be some fresh hell. I mean, but if I have to choose between the two, that would be the lesser of the two evils.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Oh, absolutely. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. See here's the thing, stragable. Lesser what is it? Lesser, nettling, more evil. Evil's the same. If I had to choose what is it? If I had to choose between one or the other, I'd prefer not to choose at all.

SPEAKER_11 47:35

Turn around, perfect ass, leather pants. Walks off screen. Something along the lines of that.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Yeah, that what he said.

SPEAKER_11 47:43

Yes. Okay, and now the one will actually keep in. Um would you rather be a bearded female or a guy with boobs?

SPEAKER_04 47:53

Oh damn. Bearded female or a guy with boobs. What size boobs?

SPEAKER_11 48:02

Uh, you go ahead and pick.

SPEAKER_04 48:04

Like my size boobs? Like like my like my boobs are just put on a guy and I have to look at it.

SPEAKER_11 48:10

Whatever size boobs you would want in however or like whatever shape, style. Well, yeah, those are called bitch tits.

SPEAKER_04 48:20

But I mean, every every human has a pair of breasts.

SPEAKER_11 48:27

Yeah. So you think of, like I said, think of what you would want your breasts as a dude to look like, but like they have to actually like, you know, there's gotta be some grossness to it. You know what I mean? Like, Terry Cruz runs right. Like, technically, yeah, his pecs are just giant. They look like boobs, but they're fucking pecs. Like, there's a difference. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 48:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 48:49

So there's gotta be what's like so you pick what type of boobs you would want as a guy, and you or you can pick like what style and keptness of beard you would want.

SPEAKER_04 49:01

Do you have to keep the beard or would you be able to shave?

SPEAKER_11 49:04

You have to keep the beard. Bare minimum, you get bare minimum, it can't be anything less than like five o'clock shadow. It's always gonna be there.

SPEAKER_03 49:12

It's always gonna be there.

SPEAKER_11 49:13

It's always gonna be there. And you can't get any type of a boob job to get rid of the boobs.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

Oof. I don't know. I really like being a woman.

SPEAKER_04 49:23

I don't know what it I don't know what life would be like as a man. It'd probably be a hell of a lot better.

SPEAKER_11 49:31

Uh depends what kind of a man in what kind of society, in which situation.

SPEAKER_04 49:38

Right. And like our other one see, this is this is why we can't play this game. Is is this a am I the anomaly in society? Or like, is this a society where more more women are have beards?

SPEAKER_11 49:56

You're not the only one, but it's still not normal. Like there are other bearded women out there.

SPEAKER_04 50:04

I guess I'm gonna go with a bearded, bearded lady. Yeah, cuz I don't know what I don't know that I want to be a dude with boobs.

SPEAKER_11 50:17

Yeah, it's kind of overrated.

SPEAKER_04 50:19

What, being a dude with boobs?

SPEAKER_11 50:21

Sure. I don't know where I was going. I don't know where I was going with that one.

SPEAKER_04 50:26

What would you pick? What would I pick? Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 50:29

I'd probably pick the bearded woman also. Because just like a dude with boobs, I just kinda like I said, I just kind of picture like, I don't know. No, you get to ask me one more.

SPEAKER_04 50:39

Oh, okay. Oh god, I gotta make this a good one, a good one, a good one. Um the fuck is this question?

SPEAKER_11 50:54

Oh, these ones are fun. Would you rather fight a tiger or a bear? Would you rather fight 500 ostriches or one T-Rex?

SPEAKER_04 51:01

That's a lot of ostriches. Oh my god. That's a lot of ostriches, and they're they're tough. They're big.

unknown 51:07

They are.

SPEAKER_11 51:08

I think I'm going with the one T-Rex just because it's one's a little slow. You're a bit more agile. Anyway, you go.

SPEAKER_04 51:13

Yeah, yeah. Um, okay. Oh, God. Okay. Well, I'm gonna do this one because it's just kind of funny and I can't find anything else. Uh, would you rather fight a chicken every time you have to get into a car? Or fight an orangutan with a broom once a year?

SPEAKER_11 51:33

Orangutang with a broom? I have to fight a chicken every single time I'm getting into a car.

SPEAKER_03 51:39

Now remember how strong orangutans are.

SPEAKER_11 51:43

Yeah, but also every time I get into a car, have you ever When was the last time you had to run errands with a fucking toddler? I'm already fighting a chicken every time I gotta get into a fucking car. You know what I mean? No, I I say that. No, no, no. She's she is she's amazing, actually. She she is genuinely like really good with like getting in and out of the car. Like there's no fight, there's no like those terror stories, like, yah ow! And like physically fighting us. Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock. Um but yeah, no, but but I'm that's exactly that's where my brain is like, okay, so it's that one. You know, okay, it's every time I it's not by myself, just every time I get into a car, so it's like, okay, we're trying to get going in the morning, we're running late, and like, okay, this one's like, all right, just get in the car, come on, let's go. Yeah, there you go. Open the door. It's I've got to open the door, I turn around, and there's just the chicken, like family guy with like the squinty eyes ready to fucking fight. And I'm like, God damn it.

SPEAKER_04 52:36

Yeah, but like a normal-sized chicken. Like it's just a chicken.

SPEAKER_11 52:40

Yeah, but still, like I know it's not a giant chicken, but it's still like I have to fight a fucking chicken every time. Like I said, I'm running late. We're running around, it's cold, it's rainy. All the times I'm getting in and out of the car. I have to fight a chicken? Absolutely not. Give me I have to fight. Yeah, I know. Orangutans are like dummy strong. I get it. But I got a broom.

SPEAKER_04 53:02

And I can grab that broom too and bash you over the head with it.

Wrap‑Up, Codes, And Listener Prompts

SPEAKER_11 53:08

Yeah, but then I don't gotta worry about fighting it anymore because I'm fucking dead. So it's the it's the chicken. I I it's easier. I think it's easier. I'm not saying I'm gonna win. I'm not saying it's not to the death. You didn't say to the death. So I'm not gonna win.

SPEAKER_04 53:22

Yeah, no, it's just you just have to fight it.

SPEAKER_11 53:25

Wow, that's kind of funny because I'm actually so I've spoiled alert, I just Googled the list. I'm literally looking right now on my list. I just realized, would you rather fight a chicken every time you got into your vehicle or an orangutan with a broadsword once a year? Doesn't say a broom, it's not a fucking broad sword. Broadsword. Sword fight with an orangutan? So sword fight or a broom?

SPEAKER_04 53:45

You said broom, so I said my question had broom in it, but okay.

SPEAKER_11 53:50

Well, so yeah, no, I'm still I'm still picking the orangutan. It's one fight. Now it could be at random. That's true. It is at random, so it could be on like a really bad day, but that's just one fight. I'm fighting what, four or five chickens a day, like during the holidays? Oh, we gotta go to all these different stores and running around some other kind of bullshit. Or yeah, and you said to my vehicle, you said?

SPEAKER_04 54:14

Yeah, well, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 54:15

It's every time I get into my vehicle, okay, so never mind the chicken, because I don't have a vehicle. Ha ha! Fuck you, I win.

SPEAKER_04 54:22

You do you have a family vehicle?

SPEAKER_11 54:27

My name's not on it, it's not mine.

SPEAKER_04 54:29

Oh god.

SPEAKER_11 54:32

Oh yeah, can you imagine if you try to get on the bus to go to work and a chicken just jumps out at me like, oh fuck!

SPEAKER_04 54:39

Well, the the question it did technically say your car, but I just I changed it because I know you don't have a car. Yeah, I know. A car.

SPEAKER_11 54:49

Yeah, yeah, no, no, for sure. I gotta fight a chicken. Yeah, no, I'm still I'm still picking the orangutan. Absolutely. Once a year, let me fight the orangutan. Yeah. All right, last one. Swear to god, swear to god. Would you rather end this episode right now or keep going?

SPEAKER_04 55:06

In this episode right now.

SPEAKER_08 55:12

Oh, that was fun.

SPEAKER_04 55:15

Yeah, that was. That was good. Now we just, you know, if anyone else found finds it amusing, but who cares? This is for us anyway, right?

SPEAKER_11 55:24

Yeah, exactly. Would you rather we did something like that? Would you rather we kept doing episodes or go fuck yourself? Like, that's your two options. And guess what? We're going with the first one.

unknown 55:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 55:37

All right. Well, I guess that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. If you stuck to the end, please continue to like and share and uh do all the things that help us out. Uh, don't forget about the um codes that we are giving you for discounts on uh legendary supplements. That is always gonna be in the uh show notes. Anything else that I'm forgetting?

SPEAKER_11 56:09

Yeah, let us let us know other funny would you rathers. Make us, you know, make make us guess, comment on any of them.

SPEAKER_09 56:16

We see all the comments, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. So yeah, comments, funny would you rathers. Let us know. We want to have a good giggle. Maybe we'll even read them in the next episode. Shout outs. That'll be fun.

SPEAKER_04 56:28

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. All right, with that, goodbye. Oh god, Kyle. The the them and the vigor behind that.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

And you never will be. I appreciate your vigor.

SPEAKER_04 56:53

Goodbye.