'Twas the Night Before Gagglemas

What starts as a crisp holiday reading quickly spirals into a gleeful collision of meme lore, honking geese, and studio chaos. We set the scene with cozy lights, caffeine-fueled nerves, and a script we swear we’re going to stick to—then a sleigh made of memes crashes through the door, pulled by cryptids and pure nonsense. The result is a warm, ridiculous mashup of classic verse and modern internet folklore, where Bigfoot meets bad audio checks, and the ring light becomes an omen for every flub we pretend not to make.

If this gave you a grin, tap follow, share it with a friend who loves unhinged holiday cheer, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the flock. What line should we keep forever? Your pick might make the next gaggle reel.

Chapters

• 0:17 Holiday Plan: A Special Reading
• 0:41 Enter The Meme Sleigh And Cryptids
• 2:36 The Chaos Peaks: Names And Nonsense
• 4:16 Studio Mayhem And Questionable Truths
• 6:01 Cold Brew, Chili Mac, And Derailment
• 8:24 “Happy Goggles” And We’re Still Recording
• 10:41 The Real Version: Bloopers And Breaks
• 11:44 Postmortem: How We’ll Edit It

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:17

Hey there. We thought we would do something a little special this year. So hang on to your hats for a dramatic reading of Twas the Night Before GaggleMus.

SPEAKER_02: 0:35

With a special guest. Bad version of Tommy Shelby. Twas the night before Gaggle Miss, deep in the goose layer. Not a brain cell was working, not one anywhere. The mics were half muted, the levels are wrong. Someone tested the audio by yelling a song.

SPEAKER_00: 0:57

The gooses were perched with deranged little grins, refreshing the stats like they might finally win. Angie in pajamas, possessed by caffeine and might, Kyle vibrating softly from Kraken and Smite.

SPEAKER_02: 1:18

When out of the hallway arose such a sound, like cryptos doing parkour, with surround sound abound. I lunged for the doorway with a feral, oh no, tripped over a cable and whispered, fuck, go.

SPEAKER_00: 1:34

The ring light flickered like it sensed the dread, illuminating crumbs from the snacks long since dead. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a sleigh made of memes, and six cryptids unclear.

SPEAKER_02: 1:51

By six honking nightmares with red-threaded lore, with a chaos-driven and mischief galore, more rabid than tangents, his nonsense it came. And he shouted and honked and called them by name.

SPEAKER_00: 2:03

Now goose one, goose two, and honculus prime. On Mothman, on Bigfoot, we're out of our time. To the top of the mic stand, no notes, no playing. Now ramble away, ramble away. Blame it on Kyle, man.

SPEAKER_02: 2:22

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the floor the flapping and slapping of her feet galore. As I turned around sharply, Mike muted mid swear. Down the hallway came nonsense with no time to spare.

SPEAKER_00: 2:34

Like algorithms fleeing from coherent thought, they leapt into chaos. We absolutely sought. So up to the studio madness they flew with a sleigh full of bullshit and questionable truths.

SPEAKER_02: 2:50

He was dressed in all vibes, from his boots to his hat, and his clothes were all stained with cold brew and chili mac. A bundle of lore he had flung on his back. And he looked like a gremlin who'd pushwhack.

SPEAKER_00: 3:05

He dumped it all down on the desk with a thud, cryptids and hot takes, in cursed Avalon mud. He spoke not a word, just leaned into the mic, cracked one dumb joke, then derailed the whole night.

SPEAKER_02: 3:22

Cod laughed way too hard. Somewhere a listener, burst into flames, off guard. And laying one finger aside of his nose, he nodded unsolemnly and twinkled his toes.

SPEAKER_00: 3:36

He sprang from his chair to the geese, gave a honk, and away they all flew on the wings of what the fuck? And I heard him exclaim as the outro took flight.

SPEAKER_02: 3:50

Happy goggles, bitches. We're definitely still recording. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 3:59

So from me and me.

SPEAKER_01: 4:19

You know, all seriousness. Happy holiday. Have an amazing time.

SPEAKER_00: 4:23

Yep. And this is how it really sounded. Hey there. We thought we would do something a little special this year. So hang on to your hats for a dramatic reading of Twas the Night Before Gaggle Mus.

SPEAKER_02: 4:45

With a special guest. Bad version of Tommy Shelby. God, and I gotta try and get this all like in my head and shit like that one.

SPEAKER_01: 5:03

I just gotta get the laughs out. Hold on.

SPEAKER_00: 5:08

We're not gonna be able to make it through this. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

SPEAKER_01: 5:11

I know we're gonna do our best. We're gonna do our best.

unknown: 5:20

Fuck.

SPEAKER_01: 5:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 5:23

Twas the night before gaggleness, deep in the goose layer. Not a brain cell was working, not one. Anywhere. The mics were half muted, the levels are wrong. Someone tested the audio by yelling a song.

SPEAKER_00: 5:39

The gooses were perched with deranged little grins, refreshing the stats like they might finally win. Angie in pajamas, possessed by caffeine and might, Kyle vibrating softly from Kraken and Smite.

SPEAKER_02: 6:00

When out of the hallway arose such a sound, like cryptos doing parkour, with surround sound abound. I lunge for the doorway with a feral, oh no, tripped over a cable and whispered, fuck, go.

SPEAKER_00: 6:17

The ring light flickered like it sensed the dread, illuminating crumbs from the snacks long since dead. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a sleigh made of memes and six cryptids unclear This is great, but pulled by six honking nightmares with red-threaded lore, with a chaos given and mischief galore.

SPEAKER_02: 6:58

More rabid than tangents, his nonsense it came, and he shouted and honked and called them by name.

SPEAKER_00: 7:07

Now goose one, goose two, and honkulus prime. On Mothman on Bigfoot. We're out of our time. To the top of the mic stand. No notes, no plan. Now ramble away, ramble away. Blame it on Kyle, man.

SPEAKER_02: 7:36

Oh God. And then in a twinkling, I heard on the floor the flapping and slapping of her feet galore. As I turned around sharply, Mike muted mid swear. Down the hallway came nonsense with no time to spare.

SPEAKER_00: 7:57

Like algorithms fleeing from coherent thought, they leapt into chaos. We absolutely sought. So up to the studio madness they flew with a sleigh full of bullshit.

SPEAKER_01: 8:11

And I'm so sorry. I was so accepted. It was the infamous you put on bull with a sleigh full of bullshit. I'm so sorry. Okay. Just take it from with a sleigh full of bullshit.

SPEAKER_00: 8:31

With a sleigh full of bullshit and questionable truths.

SPEAKER_01: 8:38

Do you need to re-redo that paragraph or no?

SPEAKER_00: 8:40

I'm keeping it as is.

SPEAKER_01: 8:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 8:43

Just keep it with a slate full of bullshit. Oh. Just gets no editing.

SPEAKER_01: 8:50

Oh, we're just leaving it just. Alright, fine. Please, some editing.

SPEAKER_00: 8:54

Maybe some.

SPEAKER_02: 8:56

He was dressed in all vibes from his boots to his hat and his clothes were all he was dressed in all vibes from his boots to his hat. And his clothes were all stained with cold brew and chili mac.

SPEAKER_01: 9:13

Chili Mac. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02: 9:18

We're all stained with cold brew and chili mac. A bundle of lore he had flung on his back. And he looked like a gremlin who'd been bushwhacked.

SPEAKER_00: 9:32

He dumped it all down on the desk with a thud, cryptids and hot takes, in cursed Avalon mud. He spoke not a word, just leaned into the mic, cracked one dumb joke, then derailed the whole night.

SPEAKER_02: 9:50

Hanji sighed deeply. Cod laughed way too hard. Somewhere a listener burst into flames. Off guard. And laying one finger aside of his nose, he nodded once solemnly and twinkled his toes.

SPEAKER_00: 10:06

He spanked. He sprang from his chair to the geese, gave a honk, and away. And away they all flew on the wings of what the fuck? And I heard him exclaim as the outro took flight.

SPEAKER_02: 10:30

Happy goggles, bitches. We're definitely still recording. Right?

SPEAKER_01: 10:41

So I think this is what we do. So we edit it. Right? So we actually edit it and make it the nice reading.

SPEAKER_00: 10:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 10:49

And then we do like a uh a gaggle reel, like kind of a thing. Like we do that one, and then we we'll record something right now that we can kind of chop in there. And then uh what's it called uh, you know, we'll we'll throw something there in the middle as like, now what it really sounded like, and play it with and then leave it unedited and just fucking let it rip.

unknown: 11:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 11:10

You know, like the uh like uh here's here's the podcast version of social media and reality, and then just let it go. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00: 11:24

Yeah, it sounds good.

unknown: 11:26

Yeah, sounds good.

SPEAKER_01: 11:28

I'm still just with a sleigh full of bullshit.

SPEAKER_00: 11:37

Oh God. Okay.