S1E18: Hot Food Hot Takes

Sugar in red sauce. Deglazing cast iron. Breaded bone-in wings. Room temp broccoli cheddar soup eaten as dip. We came in ready to talk about “food hot takes,” and somehow it turned into a full-on courtroom where everyone’s favorite meal is on trial.

We’re joined by Lauren, our resident culinary expert with an associate’s degree from the Culinary Institute of America, and we put her knowledge to work on the arguments that actually start fights in kitchens. We get into what makes a sauce taste “right,” why time beats sugar in marinara, and how breakfast gravy debates are really about roux, texture, and what you grew up calling “normal.” Lauren also drops hard-earned kitchen reality from years of making award-winning mac and cheese and why the flour goes in at the beginning of a cheese sauce, not as a last-minute fix.

From there, we swerve into the personal stuff: foods touching on a plate, kid-safe “hot dog” naming, pregnancy cravings that rewrite your taste buds, and the eternal flats vs drums buffalo wings debate. We also shout out gravy fries, disco fries, poutine, guilty pleasure chain restaurants, fast food chicken sandwich rankings, and why some “steak places” still can’t cook a steak the way you ordered it.

If you’ve got strong food opinions, you’re going to feel seen and probably a little attacked. Subscribe for more, share this with the friend who puts sugar in sauce, and leave a review with your most controversial food hot take.

Transcript

Disclaimer And Quick Welcome

SPEAKER_04 0:14

Before we begin today's episode, we would like to share a quick disclaimer. The views, opinions, and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based, and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised. Welcome back to another episode of the Silly Goose Society Podcast. And today we are joined by guests. We have the ever-lovely Lauren with us today. We have Kyle as usual. And we're going to be talking about things that get I guess it's I guess you could say a grind are gears, but food related.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Burns your biscuits.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

What did you call? Hot take hot hot cake hot take. Hot cake hot takes. So that's what we're doing today. Hi, Lauren.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

I was just saying, I was like, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it goes, Lauren, cared to tell the viewers, listeners, what the hell are they? Loyal subjects. Listeners. Listeners. I silly goose. Yeah, our goose.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Why you were qualified to be on this particular episode.

SPEAKER_05 1:40

Um I have an associate's degree from the Culinary Institute of America, New York.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Exactly. So what she says, for the most part, if I agree with it, is a hundred percent goddamn fact. And if I don't agree with it, she's just a silly girl who doesn't fucking know. Anyhow.

SPEAKER_05 1:56

I don't know, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

And if I don't agree with it, it's just an associate's degree.

SPEAKER_04 2:04

More than you. She's our culinary expert in all things.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

All things culinary.

SPEAKER_04 2:09

All things culinary. Lauren, I have to say, I always picture you when Kyle does his cooking breakfast lives. I always picture you just sitting there like, you idiot, you're holding the knife wrong.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Why are you doing that? Wrong.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

Right. Like cringing all the time.

SPEAKER_05 2:32

Not always, but every now and then. Or something that I'm like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 2:37

I think there actually was one time where like you came when you came home from work. You didn't word like this, but you were like, listen, I'm only gonna fucking say this once. If I ever see you do that with a pan again, I'm fucking knocking you out with it. I forgot what it was you there was one time where like I was like, hey babe, welcome home. You know, how was work? Listen, about your life this morning.

SPEAKER_05 2:58

If anything, it'd be the way you cut onions. Sometimes you cut them the wrong way and not just cook down right, and then I just I hate it.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:09

Did he did he deglaze a cast iron skillet? That in the south, that's that's reasons for murder.

SPEAKER_05 3:20

Yeah, people are very serious about their cast iron.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

So anyhow. My mom's here. Hot take number one.

SPEAKER_05 3:28

Nodding her head, I should say.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

Yeah, hot take number one. Do not ever deglaze your cast iron skillets. Never. They need to be seasoned for a fucking reason. Anywho, continue.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

I just kind of assume I just kind of assumed Lauren was gonna elaborate on that one. I'm just gonna have you know, Laura, I'm always gonna give you a chance to answer the hot take first. One, you're our guest, two, you're a woman. Three, once again, you have a fucking degree in what we're gonna talk about today. Alright, I'm just gonna go ahead and say this one. I'm gonna start with this one. This is this is I don't know if it's a hot take or if it's just a mortal fucking sin. I'm just gonna go ahead and say this one. I swear to Christ. I swear to Christ, in all things holy and unholy and whichever deity you believe in. If I catch the fucking sugar anywhere near your fucking red sauce, I'm going to boil your head in it.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

You mean like like spaghetti sauce?

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Like spaghetti sauce, your red sauce.

SPEAKER_04 4:25

Pizza sauce.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Pizza sauce, yeah, pizza sauce. Your marinaire, your fucking your red sauce, or gravy if you're a dumb fuck who thinks it's called gravy. It's it's first off, it's sauce. It's not gravy. Fuck you. Two, if you put sugar in it, I swear to God.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yes, I do agree with you.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

I swear to fucking god.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

It cuts down to this, it cuts down on that.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

Yeah, and you know what? Not breathing cuts down on you fucking living. Try it sometime.

SPEAKER_05 4:54

You've gotta cook it longer if you want it to be less acidic, for god's sake.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

See? That's it.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

Yeah, and what pizza is it that's is it a margarita sauce or something that's uh sweet? I hate a sweet pizza sauce.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Some some places some some places do. That's what really sucks out here is that pretty much every like if you go to like a uh you go to like a gastro pub or you go to like a bar or something like that when you're gonna get some of like their pizzas or whatever, most of them are good, but you have to ask for like spicy sauce.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Because the fucking Midwest doesn't the uh the Italians didn't make it out this far. The Scandinavians did, but the fucking Italians are just like, hey, we made it to New York, that's good enough. Fart as we go is Yankas, that's it. Um well so all the sauces out here, they're all sweet. They all use sugar, so you have to tell them it's spicy sauce, and then you have this the spicy sauce means they just make a regular sauce and they put like the half a teaspoon of chili flakes in it and not the fucking sugar. That's the only difference.

SPEAKER_05 5:57

Yeah, I was really uh skeptical to get like pizza or anything like red sauce-based when we moved out here for a while because I was like, I don't know where to go. I don't know what is the good place, you know. Where's the good sauce, where's the bad? Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Remember, remember we went to Oh fuck, what is it? The uh whatever, the the the the places by Sam's Club out here. It was like one of the first times we were out with Sam and TJ, like when we first came out here, and I asked on on their menu was a margarita pizza, which is like one of my favorite pizzas with like it it is my fit with the fresh tomatoes, basil, garlic, olive oil. That's like my favorite pizza in the whole world. Well, theirs had a sauce, theirs had a red sauce on it. So it was red sauce with tomatoes and basil. I was just like, just no sauce. I was like, you had garlic to it. She was like, what? She's like, dude, even a deer in the headlights. She was confused. Even a literal deer in the headlights was like, yo, bitch, you staring. Like, what? Like, she was so dumbfounded. Like, what I don't know. You want me to do what? I don't know that if they can do that. Like, fuck you mean you can't do that. He was like, okay, you know you can put a sauce, right? When you make a pizza, you put the sauce on first, yeah. Don't. And then you put all the other stuff on, yeah. And then at the end of it, yeah, have them throw some fucking garlic on it. Like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, the Italians didn't make it out this far.

SPEAKER_05 7:18

I mean, I don't think smart people made it out this far either.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

We we just started a couple years ago, right?

SPEAKER_05 7:25

Notice we don't have any ivy leagues out here. Just saying.

SPEAKER_04 7:33

So I'm just going to we're just gonna rip the band-aid off here, and and I know it you're gonna bring it up, but I actually was planning on not to. Really?

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Okay, then Because it's an anti-thing. It's not a southern thing.

SPEAKER_04 7:49

It it is it is a southern thing. I don't know how many people you know from the south, but it is a southern thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

I don't know. Woman with an associate's degree in the culinary arts.

SPEAKER_04 8:04

Yeah, but there I I okay. I will say, and and Lauren, you may agree with me here. There is a difference in like culinary cooking and just like home scratch cooking, like like you know, your your great-great-grandma in the kitchen just throwing shit together and it comes together and it's it's just like old timey soul food. There's I think there's just there's like a difference.

SPEAKER_05 8:36

Sure, yes. Uh 100% there is a difference. You know, I college I went to has was based as like uh a fine French cuisine. I will say though, brown gravy does not get cream. I'm gonna just say it. But not that you can't not that it's not you can't add it, sure.

SPEAKER_04 9:02

So there is like a so there is like a brown gravy that is popular in a lot of southern dishes in in like dinner dishes. So it's like a beef-based gravy. It's also a brown gravy. But there is a there are two different types of breakfast gravy. There's like a a white it it it is it is like the paper white gravy with like you can see pepper flakes in it. And then, yes, I know that you you just brown the roux, right? You're you're burning burning the roux and making it, but it brings like so you make it with like you know, you you you save the bacon grease, you put it in, you put the flour in, you brown that shit, you get it as dark as you want it. Then you know, you you essentially make a white gravy, but it's but it's colored. So it looks like it's tan gravy. It it is. It's it is more of a it it is a it I uh I would say yeah, tan to more of a a brown. It just depends on how dark you uh burn your you know flour mixture. It brings out a very specific flavor in it. And then you like if you're making like a sausage gravy, then you put your sausage in it, and there it's it's tastes completely different, it looks completely different. You have your white, they call it more of like a it's like a sawmill. Like the white is called like more of a sawmill breakfast gravy, and then you have your your brown breakfast gravy. It it is a thing, it's not a me thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

I think I think what it is, I I all serious, I think what it is is that we approach we approach the subject of this breakfast gravy from two different senses a literal sense and a technical sense.

SPEAKER_04 11:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

So you're approaching it in a literal sense. Like you look at it, and what color is this gravy? It it is brown, brown. It is brown. But like I said, in a technical sense, when you're cooking, like I said, it's just you cooked and toasted and or burnt, whatever word you want to say, you have changed the colors of the ingredients you've done. Like I said, you're using flour, you're using cream, you are using white ingredients. But because there is when you cook stuff and it toasts and it whatever the fuck it is, it turns a hue of brown.

SPEAKER_04 11:47

Yeah, and and it tastes different. It the it tastes toasted. It it tastes completely different. That other the white gravy, I'm telling you, it's like it's like you're putting to me, it's it like you're putting glue paste on your fucking biscuit and trying to eat it.

SPEAKER_05 12:08

Sometimes it does get people do make it way too thick, in my opinion. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

I need porridge here. I want some fucking gravy.

SPEAKER_04 12:15

Like I will I will tell you, for example, like the Bob Evans, the Bob Evans breakfast white bean soup, man. The Bob Evans sausage breakfast gravy is more like my type of southern breakfast gravy. Like if you go to, I'm trying to think of like some other place, like a Perkins or I don't know, some other breakfast place, what you get is like it's more of that that white, it looks like white paste.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Cracker barrels. Cracker barrels is really you know what?

SPEAKER_04 12:57

I don't think I've ever had cracker barrel gravy.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

That'd be a lot cool if you did.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

And now I go to cracker barrel for their uh grilled chicken tendies and okra and hash brown casserole.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Oh yeah, yeah, no, that is that's my hot that's my hot take. Every you know what? That's what actually we'll save that for after we're done with this little bit. But that'll be our next little bit, our next little tangent.

Cheese Sauce Mistakes And Mac Legend

SPEAKER_05 13:22

Oh yeah, I have another one. I just thought of one. Go for it, yes. Go for it. We're on we're on the topic of like sauces. Uh if you're gonna make a uh a cheese sauce, the flour does not go in at the end. I have seen it, I think, online before. And then I've seen people do it like in real life, and I was like, what is happening? Why?

SPEAKER_00 13:49

You called it what are you doing? She called, she was at work, she saw someone making the cheese sauce at the restaurant, which I'm just gonna go ahead and say it, I'm gonna gas her the fuck up like I always did. For how long did you work there, Laura? Uh six years. For six years in the state of Connecticut, there was a specific restaurant that was voted.

SPEAKER_05 14:10

Now we're not gonna shout out the case.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

We're not gonna shout out because fuck them. But I'm gonna say this for six years straight, they voted and they won best mac and cheese in the state of Connecticut. For six years straight. And in those six years, Lauren was their lead in prep. And so she she made the sauces, she made the this, she made that, everything like that. So she made that cheese sauce. Nothing against the At least last week. That's true. Nothing against the people on the line. I'm not saying anyone on the line that they're not good cooks, but like if you really th it wasn't until she actually started working prep that I kind of saw that in a different way, because they literally do everything, and then so like the people on the line for when they make mac and cheese, they're literally just boiling the pasta, putting the cheese sauce in, and then just like getting it.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

Or not even boiling pasta. We used to make the pasta ahead of time, cool it down, and then you would just reheat it all in a pan.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Yeah, exactly. So technically, Warren made it all. They just put them together. They just reheat heated it, yeah. So so I will always say this and gas them the fuck up.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

At least there's proof.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Six years straight, my wife made the best mac and cheese in the state of Connecticut. So then she then she goes back and she sees this guy making it like her cheese her fucking cheese off fucking awards off of for those assholes. And he's he's fucking it up so bad. She she she walked out, she called me, she goes, he's fucking it up. I was like, what is even happening? He goes, he's fucking up the goddamn cheese sauce. She was like losing it.

SPEAKER_05 15:51

Well, and because Picker was just like um Hulaguine hired off the street, right? No experience, no like whatever in cooking. I think this is pretty he just got the jobs through someone else who was there. And then he was arguing with me that no, this is how you do it.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

I'm what? What? And I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_05 16:19

And they're like I'm like, that's never how I did it. And he's like, well, that's how we're doing it now. And I'm like, no, the fuck you're not. We are so I literally never let him make cheese sauce again, and I always I made it well until I quit.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Which was great, by the way.

SPEAKER_05 16:40

Makes my raises my blood pressure.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

I'm sorry, and I'm not kidding. She called me, she was just she literally was just like, like we were already talking about it through text. Like, no, it was out of Lucy called me because he's fuck I was like, he's fucking up. I goes like, who's fucking what up? Like, what's happening? She goes, like, so and so he's making it cheese toss, he's doing this, he's I was like, how do you do it? Not like that. She was losing her shit. I was hearing the vein in her forehead fucking protruding out, man. She was so pissed.

SPEAKER_04 17:11

You went all Chef Ramsey?

SPEAKER_00 17:13

It was hysterical. No, she went to Chef Lauren's even worse.

The Canned Soup Dip Horror

SPEAKER_04 17:16

Yeah. Good times. So, Lauren, how do you feel about um eating canned soup as a dip?

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Oh, never in my wildest dreams. I can't. Once again, I let you bring it up because I know this is a sensitive subject.

SPEAKER_05 17:44

I have a refined palette.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

I got a refined palette. I've never been so appalled. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:57

We talk whenever. That should have been your red flag.

SPEAKER_04 18:02

Yes. Red flag amongst the biggest. Like right there is like, you know what? Here's where we just cut it.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

That's not even the red flag. That is the signal flare. Like Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:12

Like the universe tried, but I've had to give you a hint.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Dude, whenever we make that joke about it, I still I can still close my eyes and I can st I still see what was pictured in my head then. Like when it was described, how it is consumed, I s I still see just like a blanket over, hunched over like a fucking god. Like in a closet little just like, yo, your back's all fucked, man.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

Like And here's the thing that got me like if it was just regular cheese soup, but the broccoli cheese soup, that was like oh, just whiz open a can of broccoli cheese soup. That's what got me tortilla chip in it.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

That's what got me was the room temp.

SPEAKER_04 18:59

Was the room temp broccoli cheddar soup? Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

See, I hate broccoli and broccoli cheese soup, but like it's still it's if someone said, Oh yeah, no, I get a can of even canned broccoli cheese soup, whatever. Some not every canned soup in the world is the worst. It's like, okay, yeah. You heat it up, it changes, like the consistency gets a little bit better. But you know when it's room temp like that and you pour it out, it does the alpo can like that's what you're eating.

SPEAKER_05 19:31

Like yeah, because at least Campbell's, I don't I can't speak for like progresso or whatever, but Campbell's is condensed. Like, if you read the directions, you're supposed to add one.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

You want to add shit to it.

SPEAKER_05 19:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:43

So that it's not so like listen, I'm not against canned soup. I love me some Campbell's cream of chicken soup, but I'm not opening up a can and taking like a chip and eating it.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

That's just that's just spoon.

SPEAKER_04 19:57

Spoon it out. Yeah, just spoon it out.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

Yeah. Jesus. If I would have ever even thought could do that.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Well, yes, because you have a functioning frontal lobe.

SPEAKER_05 20:11

Well, okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

To my knowledge, it's all still there. Good God.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Oh.

unknown 20:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Every time I go down the soup pile, if I ever see a thing of can broccoli cheddar, I just go, nah. Every time. Yeah. I I chuckle myself a little bit every time. Anywho.

SPEAKER_04 20:29

Oh, I think that will forever be podcast lore.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Mm-hmm. And no details about it, just broccoli cheese soup.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

Broccoli cheese soup. That's just it's the the real OGs know. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

They know. You know.

Food Touching And Family Quirks

SPEAKER_01 20:44

They know, and their therapists know. I swear to God.

SPEAKER_04 20:51

So here's a hot take. I don't know now. Listen, I've never been diagnosed with anything, okay?

SPEAKER_00 20:59

But oh god, this is starting off so good.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

But I have a thing where I don't like my food touching each other on a plate.

SPEAKER_05 21:10

You know what's funny? My uh dad used to be like that apparently growing up. Couldn't and if any of his food touched, he would eat everything around what was touching, and you would just see little like strips of touching food on his plate. Well, when him and my mom started dating, she didn't know that. And what was the first meal she made for him? Shepherd's pie. And he he ate it. And my I think it was my grandmother said to her, Huh, he must be in love. And she was like, What do you mean? She's like He he doesn't eat food that touches each other like that. But he ate the whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 21:48

Yeah, like like if I have No, he obviously eats food, but I think something like that doesn't bother me, like a shepherd's pie where it's like layered, but like

SPEAKER_05 22:00

If I have soup, it's supposed to be like mixed together.

SPEAKER_04 22:03

Yeah, like if I have a thing, like a you know, a spoonful of mashed potatoes and then a spoonful of green beans, I do not like them touching. I don't want my green beans and my mashed potatoes. That's what she said.

SPEAKER_05 22:18

That's fair. I kind of like my food touching. I think that part partially being why Thanksgiving is like my favorite holiday. You just get the biggest plate of food. You just literally mound it all on top of each other, and you just And I'm telling you, we could save time and dishes.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

We could save time and dishes on Thanksgiving. We just got everyone in this fucking family like feeding, like those feeding pack things that you give to mules and shit. They put their oats in. You just pile everything in and just slap it to everyone's face in this family. It is the most horrendous thing.

SPEAKER_04 22:54

Although one of these days, I would love to do the thing where you put like a covering on a table and then just like you just dump the spaghetti on the in the middle of the we did that with Luna.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

We had uh we used elbows instead of spaghetti because she was what like one and a half, maybe?

SPEAKER_00 23:15

It was one of those snowy days where we had like all the pills.

SPEAKER_05 23:22

She used to eat. So we used elbows and we put it on the plate or on the little table. And we put it in the city. Probably plastic wrap, I don't really remember, but Oh yeah, we put a little like like one of like Kyle's t-shirts on her instead of a bib because Yeah, yeah. I just think that looks like it would be fun. Juniper would love that if we did that now.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

She is. But Luna won't eat pasta anymore, apparently, so Erv, just keep keep it down. We've just been giving her shit and she's been eating it.

SPEAKER_05 24:07

Oh Pasta she still won't. She says, No, I don't want pasta, I don't like pasta. I'm like, well that used to be one of your safe foods. Okay. But we gave her she yeah, she ate pork the other night. And I think if you were to ask her, she said she didn't like pork, but we've given it to her a few times in a few different ways, and she's eaten it every time.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Every food that is still hot dog shape, we still have to say hot dog, except breakfast breakfast sausage we can call sausage. That's fine. That's the only one. But like Italian sausage or like bratwurst, you have to call it a hot dog. Kilbassa gotta call it a hot dog. Gotta call it a hot dog. And she'll and she'll eat.

SPEAKER_05 24:51

She picks it up and she goes, hot dog. She took a bite and she was like, Is this a hot dog or a sausage?

SPEAKER_00 24:58

I was like, When the fuck she's like, Oh my god, and one of my favorite things is she does here's a hot take. This is the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen a kid do with fucking food. She will ask for her hot dog in bread in a in a bun, and she'll slide it up with hot dog, you know, with hot dog and ketchup. Yeah, ketchup and mustard. And she will take a bite of the hot dog and like kind of pull it forward and bite it off, and she'll just have it, she'll have the bun to like hold. So she's gonna get ketchup and mustard all over her hands, and she'll eat the hot dog out of the bun. She will not eat the bun. And sometimes actually she'll push her sh sometimes she won't even pull like the hot dog out. She'll just keep pushing it into her face, and then the bun will start to like split and open. Like as she's just I swear to god, it's the it's the cutest fucking shit in the world. I love it.

SPEAKER_05 25:44

Yeah, she's something.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

Yeah. I was actually happy when she stopped eating just condiments and actually started eating food.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

That was that was a fun day.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

I think all kids go through that though. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking rich, man.

SPEAKER_05 26:01

My cousin used to just eat butter.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 26:04

Like you put the pat of butter on like your rice and he would eat it off and go, Can I have more butter? And you put the pat of butter on and he'd just eat it off.

SPEAKER_04 26:10

Nice.

SPEAKER_05 26:11

My aunt would be like, Okay, you only get two two slices of butter.

SPEAKER_04 26:15

Two slices of butter.

SPEAKER_05 26:16

Does anybody eat your rice?

SPEAKER_04 26:20

I think Maddie had some there was some sort of incident at her um preschool with hot dogs. I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was just bad or like she I don't know if she like got maybe she was sick and like she couldn't stand the smell of it. But she came home one day and was like, I'm never eating another hot dog, and she still will to this day will not eat hot dogs.

SPEAKER_05 26:51

I used to not eat hot dogs. I hated hot dogs like most of my life.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

And then I got pregnant. Your irrational fear during pregnancy.

SPEAKER_05 27:01

Mm-hmm. And then my and then I got pregnant the second time and I w I was fine with hot dogs. And I was like, I need I need a hot dog.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

An actual hot dog, not like I need a hot dog. It's like, no, I need a hot dog. See, I thought what changed you want to hot dogs was um one of the genius things in the Midwest, at least here, the local hockey team have like three uh what is it uh three dollar Yeah, it's like two si it's uh two six nine. It's two six nine uh because that's that's the area because two six nine night. It is two dollar hot dogs, six dollar beers, and like nine dollar tickets.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

So yeah, so like any hot dog you can do is yeah, exactly. It's two dollars for any hot dog. For the first half, I think they do it for it used to be the first two uh periods, but then now they do like a hard stop at like because I guess it was, yeah, it was like two seasons. When we first came out here, we first started going to the games, it was for the first two periods, but then it almost banked her up the fucking team. So they're like, okay, you just get it for the first like hour. Like from what as soon as doors open until like seven is when is when you can do it. But still, like it and it's not like oh there's no limit. Last time I went, I went to one of the games and it was one of the hot dogs night, and it was the dude in front of me. He got 20 hot dogs. 20 hot dogs, and he's just like, alright, let's go. The guy's like, we're out of boxes. So he goes, It's okay. You see a grown man putting hot dogs in his pockets and shit.

SPEAKER_05 28:38

No. No, when we went that one time, and I got a hot dog because I was like, oh, it's only whatever, two dollars. I like had a I know what I'm gonna say, okay? But I basically had to like I like gagged the whole. I put like so much ketchup on.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

There was there was there was hot dog in there somewhere. It just looked like she just had like a wrapper full of ketchup.

SPEAKER_05 29:05

Not my favorite, but I got through it because it was cheap. Right?

SPEAKER_00 29:10

Yeah, it was it was the best.

SPEAKER_05 29:12

Yeah, no, pregnancy changes you in so many ways. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

That was what that was one of her legitimate fears was that one of her cravings was gonna be bananas, which she's allergic to. And she was like, oh my god, what if I want a hot dog? I was like, well, you're not allergic to them, so like you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_04 29:28

Well, when when I was pregnant, I I'm not a seafood, like even fish and stuff like that. I'm I've never been audio. Wait, like, hey, you're right. Half of half of the ocean will kill me. The other half I've just never really liked. I don't like the taste of fish. Um but man, when I was pregnant, I craved fish so badly. And like every now and then, because you're not supposed to, you know, because of the mercury, you're not supposed to eat seafood. But every now and then I would go to Red Lobster and they had a crunch-fried fish. And I don't know if it was like cod, I don't know what what it was, cod or whatever. It was so good. But like after I had Maddie, like, nope, I I'm back to really don't like fish. No, people don't like seafood.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

That it makes sense to me.

SPEAKER_04 30:27

That was that was the my wildest craving.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_05 30:32

I don't think I had any crazy food cravings other than hot, like not like weird.

unknown 30:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Yeah, not I think the only thing you have was that time you took the pickle and you would dip and you you would get a pickle and you would specifically dip it in blue cheese. Like that's not that Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:48

I only did that once, too.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

No, you did it a couple of times.

SPEAKER_05 30:52

No, I think I just did it once because it was right at the beginning of being pregnant with Luna, and I wanted a pickle, but I was like, I don't know, I want to dip it in something, and like the only thing we had was cheese.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

So she was like, fuck it. And I was like, you know what? It ain't bad. But even that, but it's two, it's two savory flavors, it's two very distinct flavors. So like that makes sense.

SPEAKER_05 31:11

I think after that I just put everything, everything but the bagel seasoning on it.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Yeah, it was good shit. Then um, uh, whatcha call it?

SPEAKER_05 31:18

Like uh you know what I'm glad I didn't crave? Things like dirt. You know, people crave that in pregnancy and like chalk. Like, what is what is wrong? What's wrong with you guys? What the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 31:29

I mean like arsenic. What the fuck? Cyanide. Give me some cyanide.

SPEAKER_04 31:37

It it's just wild. Like your your whole brain chemistry, your body chemistry, everything changes when you're pregnant. It's so weird. Like in the I know this is a little off topic, but I I don't know if you read it, like everyone like the What to Expect When You're Expecting book was big. And I remember getting that book and reading some of the stuff that can happen. Like you could like your like your hair can fall out, you can have like all of these wild medical things happen, and it was enough to scare me to death. I'm like, oh my god, is this gonna happen? It's crazy. I do remember like food, like the heightened taste of food, like everything tasted better. Um, and I crave like fruits. Um, blah I could not get enough blackberries, watermelon, strawberries, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

You saw like Luna and Juniper.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

Yeah, I could not get enough of fruit, but specifically blackberries, but I just remember everything tasting better once I got over oh, I don't know, like I feel like four months of morning, day, and night sickness.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Love that.

SPEAKER_04 32:59

Yeah, that was rough. But anyway.

SPEAKER_05 33:01

I craved a lot of sweets, but I had at least in the third trimester for both, I had gestational diabetes, so I was like, this is this is fun.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

I will say that was one thing that kind of I would say surprised me. I don't know if this is like like just your taste buds changed because like you never really had a sweet tooth. And you didn't really like spicy stuff either until you got pregnant. And now you were just I remember what it was Luna, you were just like, if I don't get talking about it, you're like, if I don't get a literal dump truck, a literal dump truck full of talkies and the the wild berry, uh the berry um trolley uh sour worms. Those those were her go-to's, those two things that that's it. I'm I'm I would not be surprised if like Luna goes for a blood test and they say she's at least 10% of both of those. She so much of those two things.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

Yeah, sour stuff. Sour stuff helps with the uh with the morning sickness.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:04

But yeah, with Juniper, it was buffalo chicken. There was at least a week straight once that I ate buffalo chicken something every day.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

Nice. It was a wrap, we had the dip. Yeah, I think it was it wasn't good.

SPEAKER_05 34:19

I was just at my parents and they had, you know, like the chicken like chicken nuggets, I guess, but they're like the the tenders, I guess, the bigger breaded pieces. And I and I was like, and you have hot sauce, so here we go.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Yeah, there was so much buffalo chicken.

SPEAKER_04 34:36

Yeah. Do you still like buffalo stuff now?

Wing Debates And Sauce Loyalty

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Absolutely. Oh yeah. Actually, yeah. Hell of a segue. Drums are flats. There's a hot take. Drums are flats. I like flats. I think I like the drums. Depends where I'm getting them from.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

If I'm getting them from just like a bullshit. You like the uh the pizza joint, you know, the shitty ones that you get from a pizza joint, which are the best. Uh definitely drums, because their flats are just it's it's just like eating sticks because they get so dry. It's like chicken jerky. It's so dry. Like, if you go to like Hooters, I miss Hooters, man. Their wings are fucking. Their wings are so they're flats, their flats could peace to the Middle East, I'm telling you. Because they because the way they fried them, they were so crispy and they were so juicy. They're they're flats forever. They were so good.

SPEAKER_04 35:36

I think I like flats because I feel like you get more sauce. You you you know. And I like ripping them apart and you can just dip the meat back in the sauce.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

It's just they're a pain in the ass to dip though. I think. You can get more s you get more like the actual sauce, but dipping them in like the ranch or the blue cheese, it's kinda hard to do.

SPEAKER_04 35:59

I will say, I think I've perfected the art of stripping a drummy with a fork.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

Now that that I've I I'd I've perfected.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

I just don't like getting all that sauce all over my face.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

It's it's wings though, so it's like you know you're gonna get Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:21

I feel like I've perfected the art though of like using a fork to eat wings.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

Way to set a standard. Hell of a bar to clear. I I perfected using a fork. Good, I'm so proud of you. We've learned utensils.

SPEAKER_04 36:40

Now here's here's a wing question. Skin or breaded?

SPEAKER_05 36:45

Well, if you're gonna do bone in, I think just skin. Yeah, for sure. Boneless has to be breaded.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

Yeah. Yeah. That's also yeah, that's yeah, that's just the giveaway. I don't think I actually now that think about it, I don't think I've ever had a breaded like traditional wing, like a bone-in wing. I've never had a breaded one.

SPEAKER_04 37:04

It's around here, it's hit or miss. There are some places that do bone-in and they're breaded, and I I can't stand it. I really yeah, yeah. If if I'm remembering, I think is it permanent I'm trying to- it's been a while since I've had a Permanes wing, but I feel like they're breaded. And I don't I don't like that. That's probably why I haven't had them in a while.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

Literally never heard of that place until right now.

SPEAKER_04 37:33

Okay, well, Permanes is like a uh Pittsburgh chain.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

And oh, so yeah, so it sucks. Got it done.

SPEAKER_04 37:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

She's just like, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:45

Wow. Um, yeah, so I'm trying to think. Um Buffalo Wild Wings, they have a non-breaded, uh, boneless chicken wings, and they're pretty good. They're pretty good. I yeah. I will say uh, like if I'm having wings, I need the traditional sauce. Do you all do the other sauce that like you know, like a habanero or barbecue, or do you just go for the traditional buffalo?

SPEAKER_05 38:17

I go mild mild buffalo. But I also do like a good palm garlic.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

If you don't say you if you don't tell us right now, you go parks, like I can order your wings almost any place.

SPEAKER_05 38:33

Um I will say uh uh Buffalo Wild Wings, they have a salt and a vinegar dry rub seasoning for their wings. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

That was good.

SPEAKER_05 38:43

And I always ask for a side.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

Because there's never enough.

SPEAKER_05 38:47

Because it's it's always hit or miss. Sometimes it it it's enough and sometimes it's not. So and they come out with one of their little like to-go cups, and anything I don't use, I just bring home.

Being A Saucy Bitch Plus Gravy Fries

SPEAKER_00 38:58

We're also leaving out one of my favorite things, but also the worst fucking things about going out to eat with Lauren. You care to tell us how you identify Lauren? If a food comes with a sauce, how do you refer to yourself?

SPEAKER_05 39:11

Oh, I'm a saucy bitch.

SPEAKER_04 39:13

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

She just it's no matter where you go.

SPEAKER_05 39:17

There's never enough sauce.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

There's literally never enough sauce. There is there is one place we have been to that has ever given her enough fucking gravy with her mashed potatoes or enough sauce. When I tell you, there's this place here, not too too far from us here, it's called Big Tease. It is like, it's just it's it's the the shit's there, it's really good, but like it's ridiculous, this place. When and Lauren loves mashed chat's. Okay, oh, what type of potato do you want with your whatever entree you got? Mashed potatoes and gravy. And when I tell you they bring out a bowl, and what it looked like they just brought out a bowl of gravy, Laura was just like, she's like, that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_05 39:56

Like, I was like, see this. Everybody take notes.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

It was it was almost to the top, and there was no it looked flat across. Because typically, okay, you could see like the mound of potatoes or the scoop of potatoes. No, it was flat.

SPEAKER_05 40:11

Actually, there was another place in Connecticut that did put enough, I think it was like cheese sauce on the omelette. Do you remember that place? Um, what was it? West End Vistro that's not there anymore.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:25

They had the pizza don't yeah, and I said I wanted like it was like a cheese omelette for breakfast. I said, but can I have extra of the cheese sauce? And they're like, absolutely. And it was like on the whole, it was like a puddle on the plate, and I was like, that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

So this is what but I was yeah, I know. Yeah, she's I'm telling you, wherever you go, whenever we try someplace who goes, Oh, how was your food? It was good. I was like, you don't have to tell me it needed more sauce because I know wherever we go, no one gives you enough sauce.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

So do you all have gravy fries? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

Like, okay, so like when you say gravy fries, like what because I've heard certain types of dishes called different things.

SPEAKER_04 41:08

So when I moved up to this area, I'd never heard of well, their version, this area's version of gravy fries. So it's fries with like a back to the brown gravy. Yes, if we a like a brown beef gravy poured on top of the fries. I've ne I'd never had a gravy fry until I moved up to this area.

SPEAKER_00 41:29

So just fries and gravy?

SPEAKER_04 41:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 41:32

Well, no, no, because that's yeah, one of my one of my best friends from uh high school, I first had it with her because I was like sleeping over a house or something, and she made fries and she put I mean now hers were obviously frozen fries and uh like canned or not canned, but like the jar of gravy. Because, you know, we're in high school. But uh fries, she poured gravy and she put like some slices of American cheese on it. And I think she microwaved it to like just for a few seconds, which is not necessarily ideal, but whatever. And I was like, what? But then I tried it and I was like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Wait a minute, you're out of something here.

SPEAKER_04 42:17

Okay, cu okay, so because I've heard that was like like a northern to maybe Midwest thing.

SPEAKER_05 42:23

I Yeah, I don't know, but I know in Connecticut some of the um diners around us they called them disco fries.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. It goes, yeah, I'm gonna be a few. But I remember, yeah, somebody saying like, oh, I need those.

SPEAKER_05 42:36

And I was like, what the F is a disco fry?

SPEAKER_00 42:39

But let's face it, the the fucking the pinnacle of gravy and fry mixture is the one of the only good things to come out of Canada, and that's poutine. Oh, hey. That is. I said one of, not the only.

SPEAKER_05 42:53

I've never had poutine.

SPEAKER_00 42:54

That's so good. It's so good. It's life changing.

SPEAKER_05 42:56

I mean, it's fries and gravy.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

It's fries, gravy, and cheese curds.

SPEAKER_05 43:00

Like cheese curds. Oh. And then I I think traditionally you sprinkle some black pepper on top, too, but not everywhere does that.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

What is your guilty pleasure restaurant? It could be fast food. It's got so like chain, it can be fast food, it can be quick service, it can be whatever the hell it does. Like, you know, you're just getting the most frozen microwaved horse shit ever. But like you can't, no shame with your whole chest, you will die on the hill that you love that place.

SPEAKER_04 43:30

Man, that's a good question. That is a good question.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

Like, dude, I f I'll fuck this up. For me, it's cracker barrel.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 43:41

I mean, like, I think fast food because I it's a few.

SPEAKER_00 43:44

You can do fast food, fast food, you could do fast food. It's just you Oh, I thought you said it's gotta be a chain. It it's just we all know that chains are all frozen stuff. There are ones that are better than others and so on and so forth, but it's like your favorite restaurant shouldn't be uh now, maybe it's because you've warped my brain. And palate, Lore. But I I feel like your favorite restaurant should it be a chain restaurant or a fast food restaurant. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 44:09

No.

SPEAKER_04 44:11

Like a guilty I guilty pleasure. Um I do like a cracker barrel. That's a tough one that I really love.

SPEAKER_05 44:21

I don't I don't know if I have one, and I'm only gonna say this because I uh don't ever feel guilty eating period.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

That's true.

SPEAKER_05 44:31

Never literally never.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

I've never done it.

SPEAKER_05 44:35

I know that makes you sound like I'm a thousand pounds, but uh well I okay.

SPEAKER_04 44:41

I will tell you something that I'm oh god, oh god. I know I'm gonna get shit for this because I know kind of.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

Oh listen, unless you unless it is contemp broccoli cheddar soup from a can. I promise I'm not going to judge you. I I honest to God.

SPEAKER_04 44:59

You are because we've had that we've had we've had this conversation, you hate this place.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

But it's Denny's, isn't it?

SPEAKER_04 45:08

No. The I guess the one food that I really, really love if I'm is a thin crust pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut. I really, really fucking love that specifically. It has to be thin crust. I don't like their I don't like their other crust. I like their thin crust, extra sauce, just plain pepperoni pizza.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

I think what's interesting to me is is that is that it's specific. You're not just like, all right, my guilty pleasure is pizza hut. He goes, no, no, no. It is this specific order. I think that's what I'm finding interesting.

SPEAKER_04 45:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:45

That like you're like, dude, I'm not supposed to love this, but I don't care. This is like the best ever.

SPEAKER_04 45:51

I do like their cheesy, I do like their cheese breadsticks too.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

I'd not fuck up a cheesy breadstick.

SPEAKER_04 45:56

Like, I'm not a like a I don't there's not a lot of places I like breadsticks. But I do like I do like their breadsticks. But other than that, I would say if I get excited about going anywhere, it's probably Cracker Barrel because the hash brown casserole and the okra. Can't get fried okra anywhere. And I'd love me some fried okra.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Definitely that cracker barrel is my absolute it's my absolute favorite guilty plot. Like I said, I know scratch cooking. Yeah, you scratch your ash and then you cook it. Like you ain't cooking none of this shit from scratch. Shut the fuck up. Like, I know it's just processed, frozen, whatever. I I don't care. I've like I said, their biscuits and gravy, their pancakes, like they fried the shit out of some chicken. They're they're oh man, they're uh they're chicken and dumplings. I'm telling you, I would commit war crimes for their chicken and dumplings, man.

SPEAKER_04 46:50

They do have good chicken and dumplings, but they their dumplings are what I would call okay. They're like what I would term sad dumplings because they're they're they're like dense and with they are so dense.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

They are even a black hole is like yo, that's pretty fucking dense, man.

SPEAKER_04 47:11

They are yeah, now when when I we make chicken and dumplings, the dumplings are very, very fluffy. Oh god. My mom can make chicken oh her dumplings are so chicken and dumplings. Oh my god. She and she makes like a homemade, they're everything's homemade. Oh, it's so good.

SPEAKER_05 47:33

Although if I do have to pick one, it I just thought of it. Maybe not for food reasons, but it might be Chick-fil-A. I know you're not supposed to like support Chick-fil-A.

SPEAKER_04 47:45

Listen, I you know what? I love me some Chick-fil-A chicken. I like me some Jesus chicken.

SPEAKER_05 47:51

I do know that they do bread the chicken by hand. I did an uh my internship in college in the Minneapolis St. Paul Airport. And so I did a bunch of the different restaurants in there, and that was one of them because they were opening when I was there. So I went basically through the training that the employees went through. So I'm like, I know they bred their chicken by hand. Like I know it's not frozen chicken that they get in. It it's like, you know, chicken breasts and you bread it and fry it. So that's why I do like their chicken, but I know we're not really supposed to support them.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

Okay, so did you talking about that? That's the way that's the same.

SPEAKER_05 48:32

You like it, but you're not really supposed to.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

Listen, I'm supposed to buy things, but am I really? Anywho.

SPEAKER_04 48:39

Let me ask you real quick. Uh-huh. I think I saw somewhere like the reason their chicken tastes so specific is they put like pickle juice in the breading. Is that true?

SPEAKER_05 48:52

That I don't know. Um, I'm not I don't I'm not sure about that because like uh the breading comes in a bag, like the flour and stuff, so it's already like pre-seasoned, so I'm not fully sure about that, but that would be good, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_00 49:08

I mean, I don't see it's almost like an extra brining if you think about it.

SPEAKER_05 49:12

I think I've seen that on Facebook before where people like marinated basically brined their chicken like tenders or something and pickle juice. Yeah. And I haven't tried it, but I think that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

I will uh like okay, so the the two on this one, another lovely little hot take. Um Popeyes won hands down the fried chicken sandwich wars of 2020.

SPEAKER_04 49:39

I've never been impressed with the Popeyes.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

Pop their their chicken sandwich absolutely fucks the dog shit out of Chick-fil-A's. Like, but also we need to it gun to the head, absolutely like that's what it comes to those two. We need to throw some goddamn respect on the spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's. The number six, no tomato.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

That's the OG triple OG. That is the chicken, that is the fast food chicken sandwich I will get any given day and twice on Sunday. Because I didn't get Chick-fil-A on Sunday. Assholes.

SPEAKER_04 50:08

Yeah, the spicy chicken at Wendy's is good. I will give you that.

SPEAKER_00 50:13

And I've never had one that wasn't mockfuck thousand degrees Calvin. It is I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I've had burgers that are like eh, warm, hot, room temp, but they're chicken sandwiches. I'm telling you, if you bite into that shit, it is so juicy and it shoots out a chicken, but uh, you burn yourself like a fucking joker if you're not careful. It is so hot and it is so juicy every goddamn time.

SPEAKER_05 50:39

God, I love a warm chicken sandwich. Oh, they got rid of their saucy nugs, and I'm pretty upset about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

You get rid of everything that you love at any fast food joint.

SPEAKER_05 50:47

That is that is true.

SPEAKER_04 50:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

Overrated, underrated. It could be restaurant, it could be dish, it could be anything. It could be anything food related you feel is overrated or underrated.

SPEAKER_04 50:59

Outback is overrated.

SPEAKER_00 51:01

So overrated, yes, for the love of Christ.

SPEAKER_04 51:04

I have never really gotten a good steak from Outback. Listen, it is it is legendary in my family that I never have a good steak experience in a restaurant. Boo boo. Because I like my steaks medium. I want a you know, I want it pink, I want a little bit of blood, medium, medium rare sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

Medium is it's that is the most well you can have your steak done.

SPEAKER_04 51:35

And every single time it's overcooked, it's it's like dry. I mean, like, I just cannot get a good steak in a restaurant.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

Overdone and dry.

SPEAKER_04 51:47

Yeah. It it it's f for these places to be steak places and their cooks do not know how to make a steak, like it just blows my mind.

SPEAKER_05 51:57

I yeah, I am a little harder on places. A little. Okay, so I remember remember when what was it? Was it Plan B? No, uh, what was that Prime stake? Prime 16. Prime 16. There it is. In Connecticut, and the first time we went there and I Yeah, I think that was the only time we went there, I had a fit because they're just like here's also my thing. If a place is gonna take the time to ask you how you'd like your steak, burger even, yes, they should they should be able to cook it right. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 52:36

Or even in the fucking ballpark.

SPEAKER_05 52:38

Or yeah, or at least close. Like if I said medium rare and I got medium, okay. Things happen overcooked, you know, you know, carry over cooking and all that. But like if I ask for medium rare and you give me like well done, yeah. We're having fucking problems. Bite.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

Is that the one with the lobster on it? Was that the lobster burger you got there?

SPEAKER_05 53:03

No, that was at plan B.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

That was plan B, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:07

They gave me the saddest amount of lobster I've ever seen in my life.

SPEAKER_00 53:10

And it's like you could have gotten a bigger one.

SPEAKER_05 53:12

There's a restaurant called Plan B.

SPEAKER_00 53:14

There's literally called Plan B Burger Burger Bar. Yeah, Plan B Burger Bar. See, she fucked up because she always gets the fancy stuff.

SPEAKER_04 53:19

They also have the emergency contraceptive there.

SPEAKER_00 53:22

No, they just have this guy in the back named Paulo, and he just fucking gives you a haymaker right to the gut if you need to.

SPEAKER_05 53:29

That would be funny. There is a place out here we went to for a baby shower, and they had an arcan in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

They did. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 53:40

Oh, like a what was it? Like a warming center in the middle of the room. It was like a warming center, so yes. During the week or something, so that yeah, so it made sense.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

The f I I first time we went in there, we were like, what the I go use the bathroom and I was like, yo, you know how you go to like you go to like nice places, you go and you go to like nice wedding venues, and there's actually like the valet like in the bathrooms, and there's like wipes and to go and you know all that kind of shit. He goes, No, you go to this one, Narcan.

SPEAKER_04 54:07

Narcan, holy shit.

SPEAKER_00 54:10

I laughed so fucking hard.

SPEAKER_04 54:13

I feel like they need those in an Applebee's too.

SPEAKER_00 54:18

Just every Applebee's Ruby Tees Days, fucking Tuesdays. We've throwing it back.

Warm Applesauce And Texture Rules

SPEAKER_04 54:25

I'm gonna throw another oddity that I have with food at you. Um, applesauce. I have to have my applesauce warm. I cannot eat cold applesauce. It gags me.

SPEAKER_00 54:40

I've heard of that though. Like I know places serve warm applesauce. I've he I've heard of that. I know it's a thing. Like I can't attack you for that.

SPEAKER_04 54:48

Let me tell you, when when I go to if I order um um applesauce at a restaurant and I ask them to warm it, the look on their face are like we talk about like what? Just stick in their microwave for 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 55:04

You a grown ass woman, what are you doing ordering applesauce at a fucking restaurant? I'd make a face at you right there if I was just served her. Hi, I'm a grown woman with like bills and shit. Can I have applesauce in my face? The fuck?

SPEAKER_04 55:19

Remember, it was a side, it would I just was like, I want applesauce. But I asked them to warm it up and they were just like she that I just remember the look on her face was like, I don't even know what what language you're speaking right now.

SPEAKER_05 55:36

Probably trying to decide if it was a prank or not.

SPEAKER_04 55:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:41

That's probably that that's the problem I have, is that you're a grown woman ordering applesauce.

SPEAKER_04 55:47

Yeah, sometimes, you know, you just want applesauce.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

Nope, actually I don't, because I don't like it.

SPEAKER_04 55:53

I don't like it with lumps in it either. I don't want chunks of apples in it. It needs to be smooth applesauce.

SPEAKER_00 56:00

Yeah, it's like Lauren with the yogurts and all a bunch of other shit. If there's shit in her food that there shouldn't be.

SPEAKER_05 56:04

I don't like fruit and yogurt. Uh it it's a texture thing. It's yes, like I don't like fruit on the bottom. No, thank you. Except for um like raspberry, because it's usually just seeds. So I know I'm pretty safe with that.

SPEAKER_04 56:19

If my yogurt is gonna be flavored, it has to be like already mixed up. Don't give me that, yeah, it it it has to be a smooth texture.

SPEAKER_05 56:30

When I was growing up, had their I think they I forget what they called it. Thick and creamy one? Oh, thick and creamy, that's it. And it was, you know.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

Thick and creamy.

SPEAKER_05 56:41

Every flavor, yeah, was was yeah, and there was no pieces no matter what the flavor was, and it was the best. And then I don't know. She liked it so much. But yep, they just decided they didn't need to make it anymore. And I was like, well, now I guess I'm just eating vanilla yogurt.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

Yeah. Guess I wasn't meant to be happy.

SPEAKER_05 56:59

I know you're safe with vanilla too.

SPEAKER_04 57:00

The Yo Play, they have uh what is it? It's like a orange creamsicle yogurt. Oh my god. It tastes just like the a creamsicle ice cream. It's so good.

SPEAKER_00 57:11

Well, I would hope so. If it tastes like Thanksgiving dinner, I'd be a little fucking weirded out if the creamsicle yogurt tasted like but it doesn't have like the chunks and stuff in it.

SPEAKER_04 57:20

Yeah. It's just very smooth, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:22

Uh Chabani Greek yogurt, they have a coffee one. Oh yeah, fuck awful. Oh it was so bad. It was finish it or well, yeah, because like we spent money on it and we're poor, and things like that one. But it's like it's one of those things. It was like the weirdest. Like, I need more coffee flavor in it, or more like, or not at all.

SPEAKER_04 57:49

I'm surprised you didn't just dump in some instant in it.

SPEAKER_00 57:53

Nah. No, I wasn't gonna do that.

SPEAKER_05 57:55

No, because I it wouldn't have dissolved the colour. Exactly. It would be gritty.

SPEAKER_00 57:58

It would be gritty. That's I think that's the main reason why I didn't. Uh uh, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 58:03

Okay, if you guys ever do like a YouTube like show where you're gonna like you know how people are doing those like guess which straw is which soda or something like that. I'm I would a hundred percent put coffee grounds and yogurt as like a uh you know, blindfold eating FPS or something.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

Yes, because you're an evil bitch sometimes.

SPEAKER_05 58:27

Because it's funny and it's not gonna hurt you.

SPEAKER_01 58:30

It's gonna hurt my pride.

SPEAKER_04 58:34

I have such a weird texture thing with food though, like just certain textures should not be in certain foods. And I don't know, the longer I talk about this food episode, I think I think I should go get tested.

SPEAKER_00 58:50

For HIV or the TISM.

SPEAKER_04 58:52

Or the TISM. For some I'm I the more I watch TikToks and the more I talk about this, I I think I may have a TISM somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 59:02

Mine is definitely food related. I have food tism. I have food is food. Alright, Jesus.

SPEAKER_05 59:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:09

Okay, Laura, you go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 59:11

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 59:12

I my biggest one he can't even I can't even explain because you it's a visual. I don't know, it just bothers me the way he holds a spoon when he's eating like cereal. Wait. And I'm pretty sure that's like the only way, only time you hold the spoon like that.

SPEAKER_04 59:29

Do you hold it do you hold the spoon like closer to the spoon or like right on the very tip of the end?

SPEAKER_05 59:40

The part you eat from. Yeah. But he holds it with just his thumb and forefinger and first finger.

SPEAKER_00 59:47

I don't know why. And like I never she was like, what's the thing?

SPEAKER_05 59:49

And he and he has the rest of his fingers like out, like he's so daintily just scooping up this. I don't know. It just really bothers me.

SPEAKER_00 59:56

Meanwhile, I'm throwing apple jacks in my face like a fucking mongoloid. Like, I'm eating like such a savage.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:03

What are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:04

I'm holding a spoon. You know what? It looks like Beast when he's having like that porridge thing doing like the cute montage of like there's something that wasn't there before. I'm eating like Beast is eating whatever the hell that shit is, but I'm holding it like such a pretty little bitch, apparently.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:18

He's like, I'm I'm just eating. And I'm like, why are you holding your spoon like that? He's like, What do you mean? This is how I hold a spoon, and I'm like, no the fuck, it's definitely not. I'm like, what do you mean? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:31

Well, I think we talked about it in one episode, and I'm not sure if it made the cut or not, but I remember you saying something about like if you're if you're eating something that you consider a meal, you have to have the lights on.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:47

Yeah, if I'm eating a meal, I have to have the lights on, but if I'm eating a snack, the lights can be off.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:55

I kind of agree though, because unless the meal is like a stew or something that I can just eat with a spoon, if you need to like cut, right? Like I kind of said that. No, it's even like pizza. So we're having pizza for the other one.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:08

We're talking about mac and cheese. We're having pizza for dinner tonight, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:12

I could probably have mac and cheese with a light.

Hot Dog Condiment Engineering

SPEAKER_00 1:01:14

Pizza at pizza as dinner, we j the pizza just got here. I'm going to eat it. This is my dinner. The lights have to be on. I don't know why. I literally it feels wrong to eat it with the lights off, right? Later on tonight, watching TV, hanging out is gonna be my snack. I could eat it it uh in the darkest chasms of the world, and I'd be completely fine.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:33

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:36

There we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:36

Fuck, here we go. Here we go. No, it's not. Here we go. No, it's a hot dog. It's bread and meat. Yeah? And is it a taco? It's a hot dog. It's a hot dog.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:52

Hot dog itself, is the so the hot dog is the hot dog.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:57

How do you layer your condiments on a hot dog?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:59

I will say this so, okay, so if you're putting like other toppings besides any of the wets or any of the sauces, those have to go on the bottom. So then the other shit you put on top of it sticks to it. So like you can't put like the e and even sauerkraut, sauerkraut is a topping, not necessarily like you know, people put like bacon bits or like sauerkraut and like onions and all that kind of fun stuff. You have to put like your ketchup, your mustard, your relish, all that goes down first, and then you can put on your onions and your sauerkraut and your sound and stuff. So I would say the drier it is, the higher it has to go.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:31

So if I'm gonna do like onions and sauerkraut and bacon, I'm gonna go mustard, then sauerkraut, then onions, then bacon beds.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:41

This summer. I need to make that like hot dog chili.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:47

Hot dog sauce.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:50

Yep. And another one of the podcasts I like to listen to calls it dog sucking season.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:57

Sucking season never mind. Never mind, that's the name of this episode.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:05

My dad makes the best hot dog chili sauce. Uh like we will freeze it because it's so good. Well, this is what's happening.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:13

Our daughter's birthdays, Memorial Day, Memorial Day weekend. You and your dad are invited, and that's what you got. You have to bring that. That's what you gotta bring.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:20

Come all the way to Michigan.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:21

Come all the way to Michigan. Hey, it's closer than Connecticut.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:24

Like mustard. So it it layers mustard, the hot dog, the hot dog chili.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:33

No, and no, the hot dog goes on the bottom. They're called top. No, I'm I didn't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:40

No, mustard goes on the bun. I'm very particular about this. It has to go like around on the bun.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:49

You are fucking up.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:51

Then the hot dog goes on. The wiener goes in the bun. Then on top of that, maybe sometimes I'll put a little bit more mustard because I I'm a mustard freak. Uh, and then the hot dog chili, and then depending on what we're doing, it's either onions and then uh Frank's red hot on top of that. Or if we're not doing onions and we do coleslaw, coleslaw on top of that with uh Frank. Frank's red hot has to go on the top. Slaw dog.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:27

Yeah, I would say it's like I have heard of I have heard of this. I was those specialty hot dogs that all of a sudden, you know, yeah, it's it's really, really difficult. This was one of the harder choices I had in one of the stupid internet choices, like a coney or Chicago dog, the Chicago dog.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:46

Can I back up for just a second? Please. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:49

Dog second season came from I'm gonna I should probably should say the podcast. Yeah, go ahead. Because it's a pretty big podcast, so maybe you can tag them. Um it's called the basement yard. Basement yard! I love them. Yes, yes, they are hysterical. Love them. And uh and we should tag them just in case, because they're kind of a big deal. Yeah. But uh, I'm like, you know what? I was you were talking about your hot dogs, and I'm like, you know what? I should have said something. Because as long as we say the name, right, we can tag them and be like, hey, right. Let's hang out.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:27

Which is funny because uh what the I guess co-host, Frankie, he went to University of New Haven. So every time I listen to an episode and he talks about, oh, when I was in college, I'm like, I know that place because we lived like next town over. We used to go to New Haven all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:42

No, the University of New Haven is in West Haven.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:47

Well, it's an It's it's literally, I still know that place.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:52

I was like, Yale is New Haven. What I'm saying is like the University of New Haven is literally the campus is split down the middle on the West Haven New Haven lot.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:00

Right, so I'm not totally wrong. But either way, I'm like, I know that area.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:05

Well, here's the here's the deal. Okay, basement yard guys, dog sucking season. I'll we'll have a chili co we'll have a chili dog cook-off. We'll do we'll do our hot dogs, you all do your hot dogs, and then we'll do a thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:23

Can I just eat chili cheese dogs and do random mad lives with Joe Sanagato? Because I miss those videos. Uh those videos were so funny.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:31

Instead of water, chili cheese dog that you try not to spit out.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:36

Oh god, that's the wait, no. Yes, that is it. Okay, so instead of spitting out the water, yes, you have to have a mouthful of chili cheese dog. Please, please.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:46

Hysterical. Oh my god, I would love that. That would be fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:53

Yeah, until you have chili cheese dog shooting out of your nose, then it's like the worst idea ever. True. Dog sucking season.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:01

Well, keep it together and you won't have to worry about it.

Pineapple Pizza And Weird Sandwiches

SPEAKER_01 1:07:04

Absolutely not. Okay, before we end this one, I'm just gonna go ahead and say this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:13

Pineapple does not fucking belong on a goddamn pizza.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:16

Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:17

The fuck it does.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:19

Cam and pineapple are a pizza.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:23

I do like pineapple and pizza. I'm more like fresh pineapple than canned, but I will eat it. The sweetness? Salty. It just I like sweet and salty, man. It just works.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:37

That's sweetness. Cream. Travonella. The fucking guy.

unknown 1:07:43

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:43

It's like uh that weird uh peanut butter pizza we had.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:46

That was different.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:47

It was very good.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:48

It was different, but it was different because there was no fucking sauce on it. It was literally bread. I know it was bread, bacon, peanut butter, and provolone. What?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:59

Well, no, it was a crust, they put peanut butter instead of sauce, and they put provolone and bacon pieces on it and cooked it, and it was it was really good.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:09

It fucking slapped, but that wasn't pizza.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:14

I saw this, you're bringing up peanut butter. Oh god, it's gonna get there's a guy on TikTok that and I'm trying to think if it's on the Colbert show or something, but he asked celebrities what their favorite sandwich is, and then he'll take their sandwiches and make them and try them. And I think it was Jeff Daniels did on like pita bread, peanut butter, and cheddar, uh, sour cream cheddar, ruffles, potato chips.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:49

And the guy was like, Holy shit, this is actually really good. I I would like I I cannot in barbecue sauce. I'm sorry, on top of the chips you put barbecue sauce, and he was like, You have no idea how like it actually works, and I cannot wrap my head around it, how that works.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:12

Barbecue is very strong with peanut butter. I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:20

Well, there you have it. All of the correct opinions on food, a couple of not-so opinions on food, and now everyone else is gonna go get buffalo wings.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:32

That's right. You can't talk about buffalo wings and not want to go get buffalo wings.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:37

We don't talk about hot wings.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:41

Thanks so much for listening to this episode. Uh, just remember, like, follow, do all the things, tell your friends about us. Um, merch links are available in the description of this um episode in all of our episodes. Um, we also now have a Discord community established. Um, links will also for that Discord community will be in uh the episode descriptions. Um yeah, join uh the fellow the what do I want to say?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:15

The fowlship?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:17

Join the join the the fellowship of the goose.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:21

We could do better, but anyhow. Hey, Lauren, thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:25

Thanks, Lauren. Yeah, anytime you want to come back, you know you always have a home here.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:30

Yep, I heard you're watching Bob, so you know you know what we gotta do.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:35

That episode's gone, I know that.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:37

Yes, I'm up to um halfway through season four, and I'm really enjoying it. I'm really enjoying it. It's funny. It's a fucking funny show. It's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:48

Yeah. Mage Johnson, and now Mage Johnson, we're from the FBI. Anywho. All right. Bye.