S1E22 - Superhero Fantasies w/The Time Pals

A superhero can be flat, fueled by cocaine, or cursed to detonate exactly once, and somehow all of that is canon. We sit down with our friends from Time Pals and turn the mics into a messy comic book writers room where the only rule is that the power has to be specific and the backstory has to be worse than the costume.

We trade deep cut comic book trivia from Marvel and DC, including the kind of “how is this real” characters you swear were invented on a dare. Then we build our own: a washed up former child star anti hero with a youth serum gone wrong, an envy powered menace named Captain Covetous, and a truly necessary addition to the genre, Captain Backblast. Along the way we shout out glorious misfit energy like the Great Lakes Avengers and test our knowledge with a round of Two Truths And A Lie that proves parody is basically indistinguishable from old school superhero publishing.

Then we let an AI superhero generator take the wheel and it spits out “Gravemark,” a leather wrapped vigilante with handmade gear, a corporate crime syndicate, and weaknesses that sound suspiciously like real life. We break down why the concept hits, where it turns into Punisher territory, and what actually makes a superhero idea memorable: clear rules, real consequences, and a tone you commit to.

If you like comedy podcasts, comic book talk, and creative writing prompts you can steal for your next character, hit subscribe, share this with a friend who argues about superheroes, and leave a review. What is the worst superpower you would still try to make work?

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Banter

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Before we begin today's episode, we would like to share a quick disclaimer. The views, opinions, and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based, and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised. Hi everyone, welcome back to the Silly Goose Society. We have a special episode because Kyle and I are joined by some of our good pals who should be your good pals, the time pals. Hey.

SPEAKER_04 0:57

Yeah, it feels weird coming out of your mouth. Acquaintance is fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Acquaintance is fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Acquaintance, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Okay. This is getting into the I'm not your friend, buddy. I'm not your buddy putting.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

So I we recorded with you guys back. Oh gosh, it's toward the end of last year. We did the encrypted roommates. And we had to do that. So if you guys want to take another minute and uh introduce yourselves to everyone. No, we're good. Okay. Cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

If you want to know more about us, go listen to the other episode, The Lazy Sons of Bitcoin.

The Name Change Story

SPEAKER_04 1:38

We already talked. We did an intro. Hi, my name is Underscore. That's John Powell. John Powell's a handsome, well-versed co-host, and I'm the producer who shouldn't really be talking on most shows. But we are gonna have a good time with our pals. It sounds better out of me. The Silly Goose Society, who underwent a name change. What happened there? I don't I could have sworn you guys recalled something else entirely.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Yeah, yeah, we were. We were. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Uh we we had a uh Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Yeah, you you take this one.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Oh, absolutely not. But um the legal department is looking at me and they're deaf, they're either telling me to steal second or shut the fuck up and not go into details about that. So okay, okay. Yes, no, if not, yeah. No, I mean uh you know, fuck yeah, I'll take the reins in this one.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Um which one of you got got pleasuring yourself on the phone with interns?

SPEAKER_04 2:34

Well, this is and I guess it's the one that noticed what sleep tokens' pants looked like.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Maybe uh I guess the short version of it was um how do I put this? I'm trying to find a way to make it a short version. Well, okay, so that podcast started. So the Black Curtain Club started as one, it had its own um track, its own desk. It's you know, it was a train on a specific track. Well, that train went off the rails. Yeah. I think technically once I showed up, actually, um was not my intention, but just it, you know, things change, yeah. Can't win all the battles and whatnot. Sure. And so we kind of figured it was uh, you know, it was time for the change, just like make it as clean of a break as possible between the old and the new. New us, new version, new year, new name, and um something uh that I felt I I guess for me personally, um, I feel that once just being a silly goose resonates with me a little bit more. Um, but uh yeah, it's yeah, I'm I'm a part of this one. I was I I was from here from this inception, I was kind of uh not like I was an afterthought, but I wasn't a part of the original foundation of the other one. Got it. It's always sad when someone dies. It's all good though, man.

SPEAKER_04 4:00

You were here before you see. Um no, I the only reason why I asked is because obviously I had all my graphics from way back, and then you guys turned a silly goose. I said, all right, well, fuck me. So use all of your silly goose graphics. Keep it on the tone, bitch. Right? I'm very, I'm very happy with the show. I've you know I've heard uh obviously a few episodes, and I'm like, oh, this is a very good tone. This is a very you can tell you guys are having a great time. And the guests have been like we were talking off camera, but the guests have been pretty fun. Like you were talking about the uh the haunted house one, the uh the dragon dude. Um just stuff where I'm like, I don't think this would have happened before. You know what I mean? I feel like now you guys are free to just do whatever you want, which is great.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Yeah, yeah. We I think Kyle and I we were like pretty in sync with the type of stuff we want to talk about, and the the stuff that gets us excited or you know brings out that golden retriever energy. And uh yeah, so I think that it's just I don't know, this just feels right. I think it feels right, Brian. Yeah, it feels right. It just feels right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:12

Good.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

I'm having fun.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

It's bold strategy, Mike.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Let's see how it plays out for them. That's cool. That's cool. It's it's yeah, that you guys have it seemed like you've been having a blast with it. It's been real fun listening.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

Yeah, we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Which is good because I don't know if we've actually put it in many of the episodes, but you have no idea how many episodes were like, okay, let's sit down and record. What are we doing? I have no clue. I think there's been a couple of times. There's been a couple of times where it was like she'll hit me up like the night before, like kind of the night before. Wait, what are we recording tomorrow? Oh, I thought you had something. I don't. I'll have something by the morning.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

I'm swearing, I was like, I'll have something by the morning that I can just if I can't actually speak educated enough about it, I can I can make it work. Right. We'll just and and Angie's done the same thing, just as equal amount of times. We're like, eh, we'll shoot from the hip and see what sticks. Yeah.

Remembering The Mothman Chaos

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Yeah. It's fun. Yeah, it's it's it's been a it's been a blast, man. Just a blast. Right. Well, we thought, I know last time when we had you here, I kind of put you through the ringer with uh cryptids and really took you out of your element.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

So made them all a little uncomfortable at the end.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

A little uncomfortable, yeah. We were just talking about that then.

SPEAKER_04 6:35

You didn't get uncomfortable until you wanted to, in great detail, have crazy sweaty car sex with the Mothman. And I went, okay, we're still down. It's just I don't know where we go from here. Thankfully, we ended. That's what we left. We just turned off the rest of the show.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

All right, another confession, real quick, and we'll actually fucking get to this one. I can't we can't have a discussion about you guys or however comes up. Oh, this we gotta record the time pass, and I just have to laugh each time because all seriousness, you guys were such fantastically fun gentlemen. The entire episode we were doing with with because you get because Angie's here, he's a female, it's a lot of dudes. It sounds like the synopsis to a lot of very specific movies, but we're gonna be gentlemen, we're gonna keep it together. We'll be silly, but we'll keep it reined in with like the serious questions and all sorts. And then it's the last like 10 minutes. Angie just threw us off the rails because we're like, oh, why would you why would you use this one? I was like, oh, well, he's got a great credit score, and this one he could do things. This one's got the old wood version of Katan or whatever that was, and it was like, Angie, why would you mock man? Because that dick. And just the chaos ensued after that. And it was just you guys just like broke and were like, well, fuck that, just throw it to the wind then. Who gives a shit about manners and chivalry?

SPEAKER_04 7:59

Like, we did all clap with them.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

That's my normal process, like thought process for just work itself. So it was just professionally be that way, why can't I in my private life on the podcast?

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Just everything shift. Just everything everything shifted when she said she wanted to bang Mothman. The mood just oh it was fantastic.

SPEAKER_04 8:28

It was it would be worse if we no sold and been like, yeah, I get it. Yeah, understandable. Yeah, I can see this. I've yeah, I've seen your Instagram likes, I understand.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

So well, now that you know who I really am, you can be free to be you.

SPEAKER_04 8:45

Oh, thank god we can be free now. Now we're free.

The Make Your Own Hero Premise

SPEAKER_01 8:48

You guys were free, go, go, go! The collars aren't working. So, yeah, you guys, I know are all comic book nerds, um, and I like comic book movies. I'm not that much well-versed in the comic books, um, but I do like my superhero movies. So I thought we could all get together and what would happen if we could make our own superheroes. So, um, if you guys are ready.

SPEAKER_04 9:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, good to go.

Real Comics With Terrible Powers

SPEAKER_01 9:30

All right, so guests go first. So one of you.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Me or you. You. Well, so so like I said, I went through all of the motions of trying to create my own superhero, and it was either, like I said, somebody who had a funnier or kind of lamer version of the same power, or something where it was just like it was purposely stupid, like, oh, this superpower is hot dog fingers, and each finger shoots out a condiment. I'm like, that's like nobody would actually make that. So what I thought I would do is give you all a couple of the ideas that I thought of that kind of inspired me. Um, and then the fact that there is an actual superhero like that. Oh god, okay. Yeah, so to start off, so so I I I took inspiration from an uh an old Daffy Duck cartoon. Um Daffy Duck first. Yeah. So do you remember so there are these, there's certain episodes of of Looney Tunes and Mary Melody and all that, and it was like a like a stage show, and Daffy Duck would come in and be like, oh yeah, I can I'll show you guys the coolest trick or the coolest uh you know illusion you've ever seen. The only problem is I can do it one time. And he basically blows himself up. Right. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, what would it be like if there was a somebody who had a one-time use superpower? How stupid would that be? Come to find out. Oh my god, yes. There is a superhero whose name is Bailey Hoskins, who was a student at Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. And his power was the power of one-time self-detonation.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

Now you're probably asking yourself, how did he learn that this was his power? Professor X psychically figured it out by looking at that, they scienced it and all that stuff. But he didn't do anything because he could only do it one time until he did it. He had a very short run in the comedy. So that like that first one was stemmed from that idea of okay, what what would be a one-time use superpower? And it it just happened to be way too nose-on that it was like the exact same thing that that Daffy Duck uh inspiration came from. So then I was thinking to myself, well, like you have all of these superheroes, like I mean, it could be anybody, Cyclops, it could be Superman, it could be, you know, the Hulk. What would they what would a version of them be where it was just some other superhero who had the same power, but like it just wasn't as good.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

So like how you so how so the DC version of Marvel characters, it's the same character, but not as good. So like so like Deathstroke and Deadpool, like you know, we all know which one's the superior one, you know?

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Exactly. And so so in this case, though, it is um Marvel and Marvel. And what came up for me was there is a there is a a character called Flatman. Flatman is exactly what he sounds like. Of course he is. He is completely flat. So a not real power, but an effect of his power is that he can turn sideways, and because he is flat, he becomes invisible because he is too deep. Unless you are facing the other part of it.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

He's visible on what two planes of night. Yeah, everybody else.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

But his main power. Well, that's not his main power? No, no, no. That's just that's just a side effect of the fact that he is flat. His power, aside from being flat, is the fact that he can stretch his entire body. Uh not as well as Mr. Fantastic can. Oh, I thought it was just he was incredibly very limited stretching. Limited stretching several inches above his head. Yeah. So so when I was looking at the idea of like like what would be a a superhero with with a less good version, that's that's where I kind of landed with that. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

I'm just imagining this guy in Endgame right now with the whole like Avengers Assemble thing. He's just like, he's there. Where'd he go? He's there. No, he's not. Where's half of them know where he is, the other half can't fucking see them. Where'd he go?

unknown 14:32

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 14:34

He is an Avenger.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

He is an Avenger. He is an Avenger. Everybody's a fucking Avenger. But but here's the thing is he is from a Splinter group that that I'm well aware of, and and has even had a song written about. Uh this group is the Great Lakes Avengers. Keep that energy, John. I've got one for you later. Um, and so yeah, the Great Lakes Avengers are all of the like misfit of Avengers. So like Mr. Immortal just is immortal. Dinosaur, like they're just a herpes. Yeah. Big Bertha possesses size and mass alteration, but she can't switch herself to a normal-sized human anymore. And so it's all of these, it's all of the these awful or or misfit superheroes voluntarily being trained by Hawkeye and another Avenger Mockingbird because they're like, well, we should at least have somebody competent teach them how to use their powers so we don't fucking kill everybody. Um it might be who just really part of the recovery after the snowplow incident. Yikes.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Yikes. Um Create Lakes Avengers. So I'm just picturing that iconic Park Street scene from the first Avengers movie, but it's in just like Main Street in like Milwaukee. It's the Midwest Avengers, like the most they're not fueled by like a justice or the need for revenge. It's just PBR Slim Jims and like Zin.

unknown 16:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

That's how it's all. I have just one more. I did I did three of them that fit this whole kind of bill. And then the last thing is what would you know, a lot of the time you'll have a supervillain who is very much the counterpart to a superhero. You know, their powers balance each other out in a clash. Well, what if we had a hero who did the same thing? So I'm sure we know it's a lot there's a lot of superheroes that possess precognition or telekinesis, psychic powers, things like that, you know? Um well, what if there was somebody who didn't have precognition, but had whatever the opposite of that was.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Precognition.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Well, and that's a superhero whose name is Hindsight Lad. Oh, god damn it.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Hindsight Lad.

SPEAKER_04 17:18

The lad at the end makes it the lad, yeah. Atrocious. Vlad makes me like very like not still.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Is he wearing like little knee pants? You know, going down going down a path going berries and cream, berries and cream.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

He's he he looks like so. If you remember from the the the movie The Incredibles, remember Incrediboy, who was a fan of Mr. Incredible, and he looked like he kind of had a homemade costume?

SPEAKER_03 17:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Like his his helmet has two car side view mirrors attached to the side of it, and it's just like a brain bucket motorcycle helmet with goggles. But dear lord. So it wasn't just that he could see like oh that was a poor that was a poor idea. But he could he could see how a situation was supposed to have played out.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Unless someone's rioting in his blind spot, apparently, with a side view mirror.

SPEAKER_04 18:15

Exactly. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

No, it's those fucking blue headlights, those LLE headlights right there. Those fucking assholes.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Yeah.

unknown 18:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

So yeah, I think I couldn't think of anything better on my own. I was just like, there's just too much stupid stuff. Or if I did, it just I wanted to do due diligence and check and see if I'm like, oh, am I creating something that has been created already? For the most part, yes. Um that that is what I instead decided to bring to tonight's episode.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

That's when you came up with hindsight, man. It's like I should have thought of something else.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

No, that's that was a creative character.

SPEAKER_04 18:59

Lad, I'm sorry. You're right. No, he doesn't happen. He hasn't quite had the puberty yet. So hindsight, lad. Yeah. Uh you want me to go next, John?

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Oh, sure, yeah. Unless you guys want to go like a Time Pal and then a silly gear, a Time Pal and then a silly gear.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

What do you want to do, Kyle? You want to go?

Bomb Voyage And Villain Logic

SPEAKER_00 19:22

I'm gonna go out a quick little side thing on the Incredibles for a second. Can we all agree that out of all of the horrendous and heinous shit that a lot of Arch villains have done, one arguably the greatest name for a character ever in any type of the superhero setting has got to be Bombvoyage. Bombvoyage is a mad bomber mime French dude. That is fucking genius. I hope that person gets all of the beers and all of the fellatio forever until they die. Because that is genius. One. Two, he's without a doubt the most insane villain and like the most like catching someone's bluff, whatever the hell you'd be. Think about like, yeah, he just it it's his bombs and whatever. This is a little nine-year-old boy who's here. I'm just going to stick a bomb to him in hope that Mr. Incredible actually goes to try to save him. He was going to blow up a child who was just gonna go in, like, yeah. That is that is evil to its absolute core. He was just for no reason, just die. I was like, oh my fucking god! Anywho, um, great character name though. I I agree. Alright, and you are making it.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Oh, uh, it doesn't matter. You know what? You know, I'm gonna take it because I had to go last last time.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

So this time we're gonna let Kyle talk about which obscure superhero he wants to fuck.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

Yeah, he gets all right.

The Has Been Hero Backstory

SPEAKER_01 20:59

So I weren't, I actually went and created a superhero. And I I was going down so many different paths, and then I'm having to think, well, you know, what would if we had like a superhero for today, what would be her backstory and what would she do? So mine has been the has been the has been hero.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Oh god, okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

So her real name is Mackenzie Starling, and she's in her late 30s. Um, she was a former child star of the early 90s, I mean the the late 90s, early 2000s. Um, she was a sitcom, you know, brat where um, you know, it was full of cheesy catchphrases, and she played sassy susie on this really cheesy um sitcom. And you know, it was like one of these where you know, like the 10-year-olds are smarter than the adults and they solve everything within a half an hour, you know, that kind of show. Well, her show was canceled after she hit puberty, and the ratings tanked, and she had like this meltdown at age 14. And then she spent, you know, she just spiraled. She D-list star. Um, she did a stint of um, you know, like straight to DVD horror flicks. She did a few infomercial infomercials for foot cream. Um, she did a little bit of a stint in OnlyFans kind of adjacent, but she doesn't like to talk about that. She also has a line of essential oils and beauty projects um or beauty project. Yeah, I can't talk, beauty products um that are all about like overpriced empowerment bullshit. So, anyway, so she's having like this existential crisis. She goes, Um, she's she's got this stuff that's supposed to be like um you know, this experimental youth, you know, in a bottle, and she has some of that, and then she decides to like OD. And then during that whole process, this serum fused in her system when she overdosed, and it granted her a twisted sense of immortality. So she cannot die, but every death that she goes through, she can feel all of that. Plus, she has to go through this, like, this whole regeneration process. So, you know, um, she has to go through the scarring phase, and like, you know, she just looks very twisted, um, botched plastic surgery, like the whole thing. You would think of somebody that is searching for eternal youth and beauty, like her superpower gives her the exact opposite look.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

I'm I'm sorry, I'm just gonna cut in here for a second. So, what you're saying is you're just writing the life autobiography of Lindsay Lohan.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

I'm just kidding, Lindsay. I love you. I think it's fantastic. I'm so happy to have you back. Please don't hate me or sue me. Genuine sincerity.

SPEAKER_04 24:25

Angie, I hate to do this to you again, but is this the reason why every shirt I ordered came with a little sample of coconut oil? It's fine. I can I'll keep buying shirts. You can stop telling people.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

It'll be okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

That was like racial microaggression against your tropical blood light.

SPEAKER_04 24:50

I have almost too much of it. I am lousy with coconut all the way.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

So this chick is very much the anti-hero. She does not want to be a superhero. She kind of stumbles into it when a mugger tried to rob her outside of uh a convention center where she was hawking um signed headshots for$20. And she ended up making through her superpowers, made um the mugger's gun jammed, and um, because she has this bad luck aura about her now, backfired, he shot himself, and then you know, immediately went to get into everyone's videos. Um, you know, kind of talked up her Venmo. She started charging hero consulting fees, and she just went viral as uh Sassy Susie Saves the Day. So that's kind of like her backstory. Um, and then she has a nemesis who played her sister, and her name is Tiffany Evergreen, and uh she is like the complete antithesis, and so they're constantly she got a hold of the same serum, so she has um these superpowers too. But what she's doing is she's going through and um body swapping all of the Hollywood stars to make them eternally youthful, and so there's just like their powers are constantly at each other. So, anyway, that's that's the long and short of my superhero.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

I thought you were gonna say that the sister had like the you know, she, you know, the the hero lady, Sassy Sally, she had the bullshit oils and whatnot. I thought you were gonna say the other one was like the Tupperware containers or something like that. Tupperware containers. What was the sex toys that was like all the craze that you had the these two of the parties?

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Oh, uh What the fuck was that company? Oh man, what was that called? Uh I can't think of the name of what the yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

I'm sure it was. Yeah, Tupperware can do it. They got the water resistance bits going. They got production facilities for fresh.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

Hold on. The freshness? Not Frenchness. What the fuck is wrong with it?

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Yeah. But Truman, we have the burst lid.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

The same lid.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Yeah, I think that's just a different way to say that you're gonna use the toys burping the lid.

unknown 27:28

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

It's pure romance, was the name of the company.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

Oh, pure romance, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

I only know that because my wife is in the other room trying to go to sleep, and I just my phone goes, mmm, and look, I just heard the words pure romance. I was like, oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

I thought that that was one of those late night infomercials for like a like a CD collection from the 90s.

SPEAKER_04 27:48

It just has NU.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

You're listening to Pure Romance. 48 hits across three CDs. Thanks, Ryan Styles.

Captain Covetous Envy Powers

SPEAKER_04 27:59

Um yes. Oh, John, we're gonna be assholes. Like, here's this well thought out, detailed thing. And then here you have mine, which is almost just like hers. And it's written in a way where now you're gonna have to edit the fuck out of this. Okay, anyway. So, okay, my first one is I've called Captain Covetous. And he is bald and wears glasses and looks like he's desperately trying to find an egg and exit, even while streaming on his friend Jim's Twitch account. Totally not autobiographical, but for his total made up order.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Not John. All like this.

SPEAKER_04 28:34

No, no, no, no. Jim, it's Jim. Different, different guys.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Does it help if I tell you that my nieces used to call me Jim? Not at all.

SPEAKER_04 28:42

So in this world, his only friend is Jim, and Jim is also the co-host of his podcast called The Our Friends. So again, I have a confused word. To John, I have secretly been this hero my entire life. Every time I see people like the Silly Goose Society co-host Kyle, aka the Pelt Father, I become Jealousy Man.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Pelt? Wait a minute. You can't drop that. The Pelt, the Pelt Father.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

It's fur daddy.

SPEAKER_04 29:15

Fur Daddy, Chessie McGirdson. Pelt father is the one I came up with for the film. Pelt father. Oh, that's a good one. I become Jealousy Man, which is just me without any changes, but five times the envy of a normal man. So just like Angela, because when you write that well, you have to use her real name. I wrote a quick origin story too. I was born, I mean, Captain Covetous was born. Okay, so now my hypothetical powers for Captain Covetous. So excessive sweating, unstoppable facial oil production creates a slippery coating that prevents any attempt at holding me and telling me it'll be okay. Jealousy is not limited to people, but inanimate objects in imagined scenarios where I, I mean he, may finally be able to get a win at life. Wrong Wi-Fi connection. And hundreds of Reddit accounts that allow me, Captain Covetous, I mean, a near unlimited amount of gripes about how Kyle isn't as hot as he fucking thinks he is. Weaknesses, none whatsoever. Iron sharpens iron, and weakness strengthens weakness by getting me lower to the ground. That, my friends, is the way we do it here on the Time Pelts podcast. That's what we need no details. We're barely paying attention to what the fucking episode's supposed to be about.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Oh, well done. Some of your best work.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Oh that was another one for.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

Oh, yeah, one more? Alright. But if we're going back and forth back, because you said you have a third one, right? Who? You do, right? No, I did all three. Oh, you did? Oh shit. Okay. So next one is in Kyle.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

Yeah. No, yeah. Kyle, you're up.

Fart Heroes And Pelvic Punishers

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Oh, I gotta go? Okay, cool. Which one? Okay, which one did I which one am I doing first? So a little bit, I think a little bit like John was that I just kind of sit here and I just came up with a bunch of like bullshit like thoughts and ideas. Uh for them. Like, okay, let's just make some really funny ones, and it's kinda random things at the popped in my head. How can we get a superhero out of this one? And then when I was having an ADHD cable uh spiral with that, I was like, fuck it, let's just have fun with this one. So I opened up an AI app and I was just like, hey, based on what you know about me, turn me into a superhero. And um that got interesting. So it's either just a list of ideas of ridiculous superheroes, or there is what AI thinks I am. Which I think after after following uh Captain Covenant's uh I mean underscores um just never mind after following. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. We'll go with the silly ones. Um so I mean, let's let's just face it. Um there had to be a fart superhero. Like there had to be where it's like the power was like farts, like super farts. Like I couldn't help but think everyone's probably seen it a couple times come across like it was like a Reddit thread or whatever it is, where someone's like, okay, just add a zero to any number or whatever, you know, and just like what does it become? What would you want, or whatever the hell it is? And something along the lines there where someone's like, oh, add that many zeros behind the decibels that I can fart, and the number that the person goes, you do know that crack a towel was literally like an eighth of what you've just said, and he was just like, I said what I said. So, like, what is so like the with the parts with their calculations, like actually like their fart was so strong, it could literally collapse the universe. Like, that's how much power so I I do remember all the nitty-grease. Okay, hold on. Okay, we we need to do it. We need to make the fart superhero. So, um that is so the very bits of the little scratch notes I have for that one, that is Captain Backblast. Uh his Backblast. Captain Backblast. Uh, his real name is uh Chad Thunder Junk. Everyone thinks it means his other junk. It means they think it's the front bolts, but it's the back bolts. It's really the one that's gonna get you in the end, giggity. Um and the very loose origin story is he's a washed-up energy drink promoter uh who thought mixing expired protein powders, gas station sushi, and the mystery pre-workout he found under the dumpster was all a good idea. Um his digestive track did not exactly um agree, uh consider it a war crime, and has been fighting against him since. So it's like super so like it's just like super farce. That's like I just kind of came up with like the names, kind of the rough idea in a very generic bullshit um like origin story to them.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

I just like that he used to be a captain, like he used to be private poop monster. Like, you know, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

He worked through the right. His lower and large uh his uh small and large intestine. He worked through his small and large intestine on his way to Venus, and so he came up with that one. Um there's that one. Uh there was Sir Flexington Thrustwell III.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

Wait a minute. Wait, I go back. Was he private too?

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Who?

SPEAKER_01 34:27

The poop man. No, it was he fart man.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

He was a fart guy.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

He was a fart guy.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

I want to know what branch of the military he was in.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

Yeah. What branch of the military was he in?

SPEAKER_00 34:39

I'll give you two guesses, but you're probably only gonna need one. The Navy. Coast Guard, what are you talking about? Come on. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

Okay, Sir Flexington Thrustwell III, aka the pelvic punisher. Um I just thought it'd be kind of funny if we took like Austin Powers, but we he gave himself like he kept like an Austin Powers like charisma and sense of self, but like he thought he was like really edgy and cool, but he's just absolutely ridiculous. So almost as ridiculous as the super flat guy. Um you know, so it's like so it's not even like so, like he doesn't, you know. You remember in Goldmembers that he had the friggin' um what's it called? Gold member actually had like that ridiculous padding in one of his like tracksuits where it was like that giant cone like right there. Yeah, yeah. So that's what Sir Flexington Thrustwell has is something kind of like that, but it's literally just hot air. It's just like it's just like an illusion, but it's really not the it's really just a dude in like tight. It's like one of those bad 1970s pimps, and he's in incredibly tight clothes. Um and he just kind of scares you away with his awkward thrusting everywhere. Yeah, so you know, that's why not. Um yeah, he he's unnecessarily long, aggressively British. Um yeah, kind of fun stuff. Uh he was once a failed male model, turned into uh one of those like um trying to reinvent himself as some uh like worse version of like Andrew Tate or something like that once. Oh my god. Like super alpha dudes and whatever. Yeah. Um he was struck by lightning while live streaming. Um and so it just kind of honestly it just kind of corrected him, like, no, don't do that. And he thought it was like a weird, um like messiah moment, like I should have died, but now I'm here for a greater purpose. And no, he's just a douchebag. But he makes people so uncomfortable. So he makes the villains so uncomfortable that they just give up. They literally just give on. Like, we I can't, they don't even want to be around this anymore. It's like, I would rather rot in jail than have to deal with your bullshit. That's kind of the uh the idea um behind that one.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

That's pretty fantastic. That is great. I think that one.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

That's a good one. Yeah, yeah. And then the last one was uh Daddy Ruckus.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Yeah. Uh uh Bradley Ruckman. Uh, also known as the walking HR violation. Uh he's a failed gym influencer. He was a nightclub promoter and a half-assed nightclub um owner. And by half-assed means that he was like the assistant to the assistant manager, but he just kind of felt he ran shit in like the storeroom with some of the other people. Uh part-time DJ, and he played shitty remixes that nobody wanted and excessively scratched and was very, very bad at it. After taking three different performance enhancers from the gas station, uh chugging a pre-workout and Flat Monster, he came up, he was overcome with the massive I am the main character energy. Um and kind of uh a little bit towards um honestly, his kind of like Sir Thrustington. He uh Sir Thrustington. He's just he tries so hard to be like that alpha male, that alpha dude, but everything just absolutely fails for him. It's one of those, it's um it was kind of a mix of the same thing, like a lot of those shitty macho um alpha male alpha male influencers, yeah, but with like the bad version of like Captain Jack Sparrow look. Like so has it's like I guess along the lines of Captain Jack Sparrow is put in these very specific situations where he just kind of runs by the seat of his pants, or he just he he's thinking each exact step. He doesn't plan out his insane escape to like hit the switch and bring him up and then swing across that thing. It just kind of happens. That's kind of what happens with this guy. He doesn't really have any superpowers, he's just really fucking obnoxious, thinks he's like a super alpha male, and he gets in all these fights, but it's just like he swings the person ducks and but then he just happens to just kind of like spin around and then he hits the mop bucket, which then goes and then like puts the dude's Tesla into drive, which then kind of goes down the street and hits a donkey. Now the donkey goes running into the pizza shop, the pizza shop somehow explodes and then sends like a crowbar flying and knocks the guy out.

SPEAKER_04 39:10

Like I just love his powers are basically Alpha Mr.

SPEAKER_00 39:13

Magoo.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

That's exactly exactly.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

That's pretty much that's kind of what it was. It's just like so. Then it just builds into his ego and his persona was like, look at all this badass stuff that I did. Like, I did all these things. I am amazing. No one knows more about awesome shit than I do. But in three, it was just like everyone's like, you're just a fucking buffoon. Like you said, that's perfect. Mr. McGoo. I that's right. Yes, alien. Joe Rogan was Mr. Magoo. There it is. Oh god. I think that was it for my Tom Foolery once.

unknown 39:46

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

Andy, do you have more? Did you have two more or one more?

SPEAKER_01 39:51

No, I really I had one that I didn't quite work up to fruition. It was kind of uh it he was exact change man.

SPEAKER_04 40:01

Exact change man. Just so that way I don't over talk. Do you mind if I do my quick one real quick? We'll do yours.

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Go ahead. No.

SPEAKER_04 40:09

And if nobody has anything else, we'll go right to the end with the with the thing I did.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

Yeah, we'll give my. Go for it.

Alter Ego And Exact Change Man

SPEAKER_04 40:15

I didn't realize John did all of them already. So I forgot his role like super fast. This is good. Yeah, yeah. Mine were all quick. Yeah. Uh so my alter ego. Origin story. So by this is not me again, but by day. Altered ego is a mild-mannered reporter for a newspaper organization focused mainly at at-home crafts. By night, alter ego is a mild-mannered online journalist for the same newspaper. That's right. Alter ego is the first superhero whose superpower is having a secret identity. The powers of alter ego can type 45 words per minute and has the ability to tend to keep by touch, which I had to look up to see what the average type time was. So I guess it's 45. Um, he graduated from community college, took several classes at state, never declared a major. He has no friends of color, but will occasionally allude to something vaguely urban and type it out in italic as a denotes like still. When asked what they do for their living, alter ego will proudly say that they are in the media, but offer no follow-up. And for his last strength, can blend into any situation primarily because nobody remembers they show up. So weaknesses in a constant state of mental instability. It's the day the day someone figures out that the man who wrote Codes of Creation, 10 yarn projects you can only do on a rainy night day night at home, is also the same hero who wrote Beyond It, Do Yourself Cardigans, a de-stress tube. Which now that I've said them out loud feels like something Angie has read.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

You know, the cloudy cardigans that vessel is provoking.

SPEAKER_04 42:07

The perfect sleeve for your delta. Um is the sword enemy of pseudonym, a rival reporter for an outdoor sports craft magazine. Um in the very end, I just talked down he has acid spit and is an unregistered sex offender.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

So anyway, those are my uh I love how we just go through those like the warnings and labels to every medication ever.

SPEAKER_04 42:29

So we can go with your next one and then I'll end with the game.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Oh, my next one? I it it's just it's just barely a mention um the exact change, man. I didn't quite flush him out.

SPEAKER_04 42:42

Um by itself, you have to at least come up with something.

unknown 42:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

So uh like he I can't remember. I had I I don't have my notes. I'm going on memory here, but I can't remember how he got his superpower. But it's it's like the most useless kind of like in any situation, no matter what's going on, he will always have the exact change that you need for any kind of purchase. And I was gonna work in like his um his uh arch nemesis was gonna be like you know, the digital currency, like the Venmos and the PayPal guy, you know. Um crypto. Exactly. Crypto, yeah. But I didn't flush him out uh all that well. But that was I was I was going in that direction there for a while.

SPEAKER_04 43:31

Honestly, you should have just repeated your story for the Mothman dude you wanted to ban. Could have just slid right in there. We would have been very confused.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

Yeah, no, he doesn't have pockets.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Oh Christ.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

I thought I identify with him because women have been denied pockets for so long. That's why we get excited about them in our dresses.

SPEAKER_04 43:57

Well, if if nobody has anything else.

Two Truths And A Lie Game

SPEAKER_03 44:00

Yeah, yeah, go for it.

SPEAKER_04 44:01

Um, so this is called Two Truths and a Lie. If you guys have never played this game before, basically, I'm gonna read three superheroes or superhero sidekicks who either have terrible superpowers, are terrible heroes, or have ridiculous backstories. One of these guys I've made up. So I've only got three. I was hoping Dom would be here because Dom doesn't read comic books and John does. So I have a feeling he's gonna know all of them. But in the spirit of the game, since we don't have buzzers, after I read all three, just say the name of your show. That's your buzzer, and then you get to answer. And if you're wrong, um, we'll just give it to the other person. So let me read all three first. All right, so hero number one Dory Anderson has the ability to channel the emotional spectrum, like the Green Lantern, but everything is fine, okay? I mean, you should have been there helping me already, but whatever, you do you. On paper, Rainbow Girl changes abilities depending on her feelings. Rage gives her super strength, fear makes her uh makes other people panic, but the caveat is she cannot control her emotions ever because she's a girl. Am I right, fellas? Am I right? You get it. Number two, Color Kid. Also known as Ulu Vac, Color Kid has the ability of my son, who, like Rainbow Girl, is also on a special spectrum and can change your walls into abstract art with only a special pack of crayons. Color Kid can change the color of any object. Name an object. You like that object? Would you like it better purple? No? Well, now he's been defeated. The original version of Color Kid had no other combat or support abilities other than being the best damn interior designer the world had ever seen. And number three, Dead Coloris. Many Marquez dreamed of escaping the barrios of West Texas and worked to support his abuela, who he later learned was secretly operating a drug cartel. Marquez, seeing that his storyline was completely written by someone who only knew Mexicans from Breaking Bad, wore a lucha libre mask, donned a glitter skull uh skull shirt on his chest, like the Punisher, and swore to take down his grandmother in a halo by Corumbas. So, of these three, Rainbow Girl, Color Kid, Dead Colores, only one is made up.

SPEAKER_00 46:00

The last one is made up.

SPEAKER_04 46:02

Got it. So Dead Coloris. I made that up before. The other two are very real. Rainbow Girl, they eventually changed her to something close to the Green Lantern because they like the design. Color Kid, they tried to make him cool, or now he can change people into camouflage, and he's still a really shitty superhero. It still sounds dumb. You know what I mean? But anyway, they tried.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Turns out it was a camouflage. So he's just like the men's, he's just like the men's like section at Walmart. It's just camo. You have no other choice. There you go.

SPEAKER_04 46:39

So again, there's I've only got uh three of these, so this is the second one. All right, so the first one, skin. See, you're talking to the shit. Angel Espinoza is what happens when you start writing plastic men, and then remember there's already a plastic man. But you promised Stanley a new character by noon. Skin has six extra feet of loose skin that he can stretch, expand, and imprint newspaper ink like silly putty. Does all that skin make him invulnerable? No. Can he increase in size and shape and mimic other people? Also, no. And again, six feet is all you get. Anymore he'd actually be useful. Number two, bouncing boy. Chuck Tain can inflate his body into a large ball and bounce at high speeds. Assuming he's at the top of a hill and someone behind him gives him a push. Don't be gentle. There's evil to defeat. Bouncing boy got his power by drinking super plastic chemicals he thought he was soda. He is as dumb as the one Kyle read. Just in a bouncing boy form. Finally, there's fudge. As a teenager, William H. Wilhelm loved chocolate but hated the dentist. His solution, you can't get cavities if you're made out of milk chocolate. As fudge, Wilhelm enjoyed a brief stint with the Legion, where he could melt and put himself back together, break off into individual squares, and be side by side with law enforcement wherever he goes. I'm sorry, side by side. Uh he's side-eyed by law enforcement everywhere he goes. Oddly, canonically Canadian. So of these three, bouncing boy, skin, or fudge, which one is made up?

SPEAKER_01 48:04

Go to NG guess. Okay, I know nothing about comic books, so I'm going to guess the second one.

SPEAKER_04 48:13

So John knows this already. Bouncing boy is a real hero invented during the silver era. His only power is he literally becomes a Super Bowl. Nice. And he did get his power by drinking plastic, super plastic chemicals that came in a drink can. Like absolutely no self-awareness. John? What? Which which one you know you know the fake one is, right? Because you've heard of skin and bouncing boy, I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:41

Yeah. So John knows. Um so yeah, Fudge Wilhelm, uh, Will basically Billy W Wilhelm. I made up uh after being drunk off whiskey last night. So that's why I'm like, fucking uh chocolate. There we go. You have a pack. Who's that fat fuck for Willy Wonka that can fuck with? We'll call him William Fudge. William after Willie Wonka, but just go with him. Um my last three. Number one, wholesome Dan. Daniel Smith was born with the ability to fly, near invulnerability, telekinesis, and telepathy. The only problem? Dan Smith loves his job as an administrator for his local community college. Heavily recruited by the Who's Who of the Silver Age of Marvel. Smith declined all offers and now is now living in a small apartment where he pretends to have a dog, so the neighbors think he has something going on other than watching game shows and shopping online. He doesn't. He's content, and that's his weakness. Number two, Snowflame. Snowflame is what happens is I'm sorry, Snowflame is what Scarface would be if it were written by Todd McFarland. A drug lord who gains super strength, super speed, and enhanced durability whenever he snorts the booger sugar. Snowflake is the Hulk if Bruce Banner was Colombian. The more yay-o he consumes, the more powerful he becomes. Eventually, he believes he's the embodiment of the drug. And for some reason, he's not the most popular superhero among trap rappers and 80s stockbrokers on this planet. That reminds me, John, how you hold him, bro, because you have to tell me if you're a cop if I ask. Otherwise, it's entrapping. All right, so last guy, doorman. Uh Damar Davis is who Mike underscore was throughout high school and college, a literal gateway to more exciting and handsome friends. Tomar can change into a portal, not create them, but become an actual door that opens up for you to use and then forget that he asked you out first, but you kept saying you were busy, and I thought I was being a gentleman by giving you space in that. But I guess the portal leads to my best friends, a wreck penis. So, in any case, he was also he also joined the superhero team called the Great Lakes Avengers, proving that any person can be a fucking Avenger. Get yourself checked. You may be Avenger and don't even know it. And please come back and I miss you. All right, so out of these three, Wholesome Dan, Snow Snowflame, and Doorman, which one is made up?

SPEAKER_00 50:56

First one.

SPEAKER_04 50:57

Wholesome Dan. Wholesome Dan, though it's actually based. So there used to be a writer named Joey Sayers. Joey Sayers used to write five-minute comics. Her stuff is long out of print. And wholesome Dan was a character that had no name, but just literally like a one-panel person of like this guy has the every power known to man, but he fucking loves his job. And then then he doesn't do anything, doesn't solve crimes, doesn't fight anything. Just likes, you know, kind of making a check. Um, yeah, so that's it. I uh I have no other superheroes to talk about. I am superheroed out. What do you mean out for me?

SPEAKER_00 51:34

Good stuff. Anything. Oh, those are good. Jesus Christ. The cocaine one is still just it is. No, it is. He was uh he was a marvel Marvel character, right? He was a Marvel guy?

SPEAKER_04 51:52

Yeah, amazing.

SPEAKER_00 51:53

An amazing gotta fucking love it, man. Just uh he was Colombian. I was get the better Colombian. Oh, that was beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 52:01

That is they really they that they really did that? That had to be something from the 70s.

SPEAKER_02 52:08

Yeah, but they had to they had to they had to allude to it because of the at the time the comics code. Yeah. So they went to the case.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

I guess I guess the 80s, wasn't that like the more of the cocaine era?

SPEAKER_04 52:29

Yeah, 100%. Uh there was a few I didn't do because I wasn't sure if John was gonna mention them. There's a guy who can literally turn himself into ice cream. There's a guy called Antimatter Eater. Oh no, Antimatter Lad, where he can eat anything. Matter eater lad. Matter eater. There's a matter eater lad. Yeah, there's a lot of eating in this industry. Matter eater, Peter. Yeah. There's another guy, Maggot, whose whole thing is that two metal maggots come out of his stomach and those can eat everything. Um it there's a lot of eating in Marvel Comics. So much eating. So much terribly.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

They got a real Vor finish in Marvel Comics. Oh, for the love of God. I mean, there's what's I mean, DC had I mean they had him the fucking suicide score, but let's face it, like Polka Dot Man was like pretty like gun picked it on purpose.

SPEAKER_04 53:20

He wanted to pick heroes, you know, on purpose.

SPEAKER_00 53:22

Yeah, he wanted to pick the ridiculous ones for sure.

SPEAKER_04 53:25

Oh, million percent, but I just gotta man would have ended up on this for sure.

AI Creates Gravemark The Vigilante

SPEAKER_00 53:28

Yeah, 100%. God, that's just so fucking funny. Oh, for the love of God. I guess tech, like I said, technically, I kind of have one, but I don't know if it's if it counts because it it's cheating because I used AI because I was like, screw it. Let's just I saw a thing, I was like, yeah, why not?

SPEAKER_04 53:45

Why not? I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 53:47

It's quote unquote serious. I was just like, hey, if I was a superhero, what would I be? And then just like sit down, buddy. And I was like, uh oh.

SPEAKER_04 53:56

We're gonna tell you all the things you ate about yourself. Pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 53:59

Like I don't like it, like it's yeah, because it like it did it like very seriously. I was like, okay, so you just made me like every like cliche anti-hero. That makes great sense. Fantastic. I hate like how decent I think like some of the names that it just kind of comes up with. So, first off, the character's name is Gravemark, kind of like that one. It's pretty solid.

SPEAKER_01 54:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

Um, the real name is Cade Varrick. Oh, that's good too. Right? Like it's still pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. Um, yeah, the uh nickname known in the underworld is the Craftsman of Vengeance. And I was like, ah, yeah, we fight.

SPEAKER_03 54:37

Oh man, that is good.

SPEAKER_00 54:39

Yeah, I hate it so much. A self-made weapon, no powers, no mercy for the guilty. He doesn't fight crime, he hunts rot and carves it out. Uh police justice failed long ago, and uh all he does is simply correct it. Although now it's italicized, and so make me think of the character you're talking about earlier. He goes, Oh, you put it italicized to the urban note to note uh slang. I think italicized, I'm gonna laugh my ass off now. Oh, let's see. Uh Kate Verg grew up in a decaying industrial city that promises uh where promises rusted faster than steel. His father was a factory worker, one of the last men who still believed in honest labor, in earning his calluses, not paying somebody else to do his work for him. Uh his mother ran the small home business repairing clothes, um uh stretching pennies and survival. Uh they weren't weak people, just outmatched by the system that was already collapsing. Uh Cade learned early on how to fix things instead of replacing them, how to endure instead of compla complain, and had to stay quiet and simply observe. By 16th, he could build, repair, and improve almost anything with his hands. Nice. Let's see. The breaking uh the breaking point. I love this because the corporate backed crime syndicate known as the Meridian Circle. That's fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 56:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:02

Like that is very syndicate, but you can't use anything else. You can never even call that a gang. That was always a syndicate. Oh, that's great. Uh yeah, buying out of the local neighborhoods, uh, both legally and illegally. They used uh intimidation, arson, and stage accidents to force people out. So it just sounds like the DNYPD and the mob.

SPEAKER_04 56:22

I was gonna say it sounds like the Mr. Magoo thing all over again.

SPEAKER_00 56:25

It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_04 56:26

That's the evil like doppelganger version of it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 56:30

It sounds like they just made Leather Daddy Batman. They did. They made Leather Daddy Batman.

SPEAKER_04 56:35

The whole promises rusting faster than steel thing. That's an incredible line. I right?

SPEAKER_00 56:41

Like, I was like, oh shit, I kind of hate this. Yeah. Um Kate's family refused to leave. One night their home burned down. The official report was an electrical fire. The truth, it was a message. Kate survived. His family did not. Uh, where the system failed. He did everything right. He gave statements, testified in court, identified suspects, trusted the detectives, but the case uh stalled. So that disappeared, witnesses recanted the Meridian Circle, owned way too many people. Uh that's when Cade realizes something fundamental. Justice isn't blind, it has been bought. Very cool. Vanished for five people. Uh his transformation. He vanished for five years. Uh, not into hiding, into uh into construction, bold and italicized. He rebuilt himself the same way he built his machines.

SPEAKER_04 57:29

Studied local comp uh No, not manual labor. No.

SPEAKER_00 57:35

Studied combat disciplines, uh, trained endurance to near uh near inhuman levels, learned tactics, surveillance, and psychological warfare, became a master of leather working and fabricator. And his own armor, gear, and weapons. Every piece he wears is handmade, custom fit, and brutally functional. Uh no wasted motions, no wasted design. Uh blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah. Oh yeah, he can't uh he uh left his cage but came back as gravemark, a ghost wrapped in hardened steel and leather, moving through the city like consequences that can't be avoided. Uh that's okay. Doesn't see himself as a hero. What he believes. Fear is a tool, cane is a language criminals is the only language criminals understand. Mercy is conditional, never given freely.

SPEAKER_01 58:26

A little bit of the punisher built in there.

SPEAKER_00 58:29

Like way too much. Like literally everyone. This was oh, here's another good one. The arch villain. Uh, which uh known as the architect, the leader of the Marinine Circle, Lucian Voss.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

Lucian, that's an evil name.

SPEAKER_00 58:43

Isn't it just? Um, I mean, yeah, it's pretty much what this is. He's exactly that. He he he sounds like the kingpin, honestly. Like a business model, never gets his hands dirty. He is like six times disconnected from the actual crime itself. So just kind of picture Kingpin, but with a cooler syndicate name. Like that's it. Other than that, so yeah, they they can drop the ball with that guy. Yeah, honestly, a little bit. I like the first one though. The first one's good. Yeah, that was all pretty solid. And then uh, what'd you call it? Then it came down to his weaknesses. Uh he has an obsession with control. He uh he has got to be prepared always. If something goes off plan, he becomes more aggressive, more reckless. Uh moral erosion. Started with his rules, uh breaks them, pushes the line farther and farther one by one. Each time he crosses a line, it gets easier. Um, isolation. He trusts nobody, he's no allies, uh, there's no safety net, which means he has no backup, uh, no other perspective, no one to pull him back when he goes too far. Physical limitations. I love it. He's like all bold and spaced by like a period. He's still human.

SPEAKER_03 59:59

Like, yeah, he does have powers.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:00

He's just a person. He's like accumulated injury, scar tissue, fatigue, uh, pushes through the pain, but everything's starting to catch up with him. And then the craftsman curse. He needs to build. He will never go from anywhere else. He only trusts himself, his gear, his armor, his systems, his intelligence. It grounds him, but it also traps him in a cycle of perfectionism and delay. Uh he's preparing, uh, sometimes he prepares instead of acting. So great. Nice to know that I still have raging ADHD if I'm a fucking superhero, also. It did, I think I sent it in the little chat though. It did give me like this real badass picture. I did see that, yeah. Yeah, so it was that one and the thing too, because then it's it then like I asked about like his, you know, okay, so like what did he do? It was like he just like beat the shit out of everybody, and it gave me like a weapon breakdown and shit too. And if there's one thing that I like, I don't know if I sent it or if I saved it. Um where the fuck did it go? What the hell was it called? Give me like two seconds here. I don't know, but essentially it is like it's like a weight on one side of a moderately weighted chain. So it's really just like a fucking steeled ball or like a weight on one side on a relatively weighted chain, and there's a fucking meat hook on the other end. And I'm like, wait a minute. I kind of love that. Hold the fuck on. I love that. That is pretty great. Right? Like, that's pretty like imagine the Punisher with that fucking thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:25

Oof.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:27

I just alright, comment.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:28

I'm just picking yeah, I'm just I'm just picturing John Barrington. Yeah, I'm just picturing that man, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh uh the cha the chain of burden, that's what it's called. The chain of burden sounds great. I like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:45

And his yeah, the twin pistols is um final say in retribution. Like it's very simple. I mean, even to the point where it's like the character has these like throwing spikes or whatever that he would call markers. And so the fact that they want the detail that they are like these weird kind of diamond-shaped, one side is noticeably longer than the other. The short, so more or less is that like the precision he would have is so much that when he goes to throw them, if he wants it to just like maim and scare and stop, he knows that the shorter side will hit it because it's just short enough to miss any vital organs, it won't puncture along, it won't fuck up his liver or his heart or whatever it is, like that one. But the longer side, it's the kill side, like it is longer, it will pierce this and do this and do that. And I was just like, wait, I'm kind of scared.

Thanks And Where To Follow

SPEAKER_04 1:02:33

Wow. I like that all these guys want to actually fight crime. All of my guys want to be left alone. I gotta hop off. Sorry, guys. Another proper just show the picture of your superhero, Jimmy. Oh yeah. Um no, we can we can we can call it. I I have nothing else to add anyway. Yeah, well, the so yeah, thank you for having us on the show, guys. Yeah, it was fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:56

Thanks. Just thanks for being here. Uh, thanks for listening to this episode. You all know what to do at this point. All the links, all the shares, all the likes. Uh, give time pals um a follow, listen to them. The great episodes over there, the things that they're doing. Um, and thanks again for for being here and being silly gooses is with us.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:20

Thank you guys. All right. Always a great time. We appreciate both of you. But now that the other one is long dead.