She Lost So Much... But Refused to Lose Herself | Flip That Switch Podcast

In this episode I talked with Kayla about the moments that shaped her life—from leaving the party scene behind and embracing marriage to navigating grief, the loss of two close family members becoming a stepmom, and building lasting friendships.Kayla also shares how life as a flight attendant broadened her perspective, why stepping away from social media can be life-changing, and how her foundation supports families facing childhood cancer. This conversation is a powerful reminder that purpose, resilience, and staying true to yourself can transform even life's hardest seasons.

00:00
Introduction and Friendship Origins
02:12
Transitioning from Partying to Marriage
04:01
The Proposal Story
10:15
Coping with Loss and Grief
15:13
Becoming a Stepmother
18:30
Reflections on Parenting and Relationships
21:12
The Importance of Long-Lasting Friendships
24:04
Event Planning and Celebrating Life
24:56
The Essence of True Friendship
27:15
Finding Your Unique Self
29:29
The Journey of a Flight Attendant
31:44
The Importance of Social Media Breaks
34:26
Creating a Legacy: The CNJ Foundation
37:48
Looking Ahead: Future Aspirations

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Kaila ig@worldknownkay
CNJ Website: https://cnjfoundation.com/


#friendship, #marriage, #grief, #parenting, #stepmother, #proposal, #eventplanning , #relationships, #love, #personalgrowth  #friendship, #uniqueness, #travel, #socialmedia, #foundation, #cancer #support, #personalgrowth , #motherhood, #purpose, #legacy

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I lost my sister um to cancer as well when I was eight years old and so I've been living and dealing with cancer and caregiving since I was seven, six years old. And so to witness my little sister pass away, um really opened my eyes for the first time to what grief is, what God is, what heaven is um from a child standpoint, and to have like a positive connotation about that because the way she showed us, the way she molded us to love the Lord, fear the Lord, know that death is not a bad thing, our loved ones are gonna leave us, but it's okay, you know, you're gonna grieve, but God's greatness is gonna carry you through with his grace, you know? And so that helped me through all my life when dealing with situations of cancer, bad situations, just knowing that it's gonna happen, it's gonna rain, but God also gonna give us an umbrella to make sure that we sustain that rain.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to another episode of Flip That Switch. I am your host, Brandon, aka B to the sciss naive, and we're back with another episode. If you want to be a guest on the Flip That Switch podcast, you have a story that you want to get out there, please hit me in the comments, or you can DM me at Flip That Switch on IG if you want to be a guest on the episode. But today, we got my homie Kayla in the building. Um Kayla and I have been friends for I don't know, it's been some years. Um and her and my wife have actually been friends for 20 plus years. Um and so what was crazy is when I met Kayla, of course, obviously I didn't know she was friends with Destiny, and we ended up, that's how me and Destiny ended up meeting, because we were all, we all had mutual friends. But man, Kayla's been my homie, man, my road dog, you know. Um we we we back in the day we turned up together, and now we're over here being, you know, married and you know, kids happening and stuff like that. And um, so our friendship has really just evolved, and I've appreciated Kayla so much because um she's just very a very kind-hearted, um giving person, individual. And it's never a dull moment. Like when we get together, we just all turn up. That's what we do, you know. We be, we be, we be turning, like, even though the turn up in the streets is left, the turn up inside us hasn't left. So, yeah, without further ado, um I'd like to introduce Kayla to the episode. What's up, girl?

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Hey, thank you so much for having me. It means a lot.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah, for sure, for sure. Appreciate you jumping on. So, speaking of, you know, us obviously turning up, um, uh we had we were in our single phase, and then abruptly, and I say abruptly, we found our significant others, and we got married and things of that nature. Talk to me a little bit about what that transition was like going from being, you know, the partying type to now it's like you look up and you're married and you're doing the wife thing. What has that transition been like for you?

SPEAKER_02 3:22

Oh, it was a 180. Like um, I met Marcus actually online because I was a flight attendant. So I would travel around the world, be gone, come home for like 15 days, if that, and then I'll be gone for another month or two. Um, but when I was ready to like find someone, I like used the dating app because that was the only way to find someone in the States because I wasn't at home. And like we actually talked and on the phone for a lot before we actually met in person, and so I got to know them on a deeper level, and so like when we just met, it we just knew like this is the one, this is the one. And actually, the first phone call we had after I got off the phone, I prayed and I was like, Lord, you sent me my husband. I just knew, I just knew.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Wow, wow. Before you met Marcus, um, had you already been deciding that, okay, I'm done with this, I'm done with being in these streets, like I'm ready to settle down, do my thing. And of course, it's all in God's timing, obviously. But had you already made the choice to be like, you know what, I'm ready to get out of this before Marcus came into the picture?

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Um, well, I was getting ready. I had only wanted to be a flight attendant for a certain amount of years just to kind of get that travel bug out of me. Um and so as I was approaching the end of that, I was like, I want to come home to someone and start to settle down, and I'm getting to my 30s, I'm ready for the next chapter, and the way God just aligned everything was just so divine. And how like right before I ended, met Marcus, and the transition was smooth.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Wow. Talk to me about the proposal, because you know, obviously, well, I know about the proposal, but I I think it's such a dope story because it's one of those where it's like, wow, it's like you weren't even in the mood to even like you were you weren't you weren't even in a good mood that day. Yeah. So talk talk to the viewers about um the the proposal and everything leading up to it and what that day looked like for y'all.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Oh, Marcus is so amazing. He's such a God like driven person. He waits for God to speak to him to know what his next steps are, and that's what I appreciate him so much about. Um, we actually got engaged seven days after my mom had passed away. And so that was like the state I'm in. Like, you got the elders coming in, because you know they get there early, and like I'm trying to attend to the family, get the preparations ready, all while we also were trying to like advance our life. My lease was coming up on my apartment, his lease was coming up on his. So we were like, okay, what are we doing? Are we moving? Like, we gotta figure something out. And so he called me, he was like, Oh, there's a house I found for us to go look at, but we gotta go look at it right now. And I'm like, Okay, I'm cooking, I got these people here, like I'm not in the mood, like I'm just not in the mood. But I don't wanna miss out no blessings, so I was like, this house he said he found it, so let's go look at it and stuff. And so I was like, all right, well, come to the house or whatever, and I'll be ready. And so he gets to the house, and Marcus always, he's like such a gentleman, so he comes in the house and everything, but this time he pulled up, beep, beep, I'm outside. And you know, with the elders in the house and all mama's friends, they like, I know that ain't Marcus outside. Beep been telling you to come outside. We come in the house. And I'm like, Well, he knows, and we rush in, we try to get to this house and see it before the sun goes down. And so I go outside, and one of my mama's friends followed me outside, and she knows Marcus, and she was like, No, Marcus, how come you ain't getting out the car coming inside? He's like, I know, I'm sorry, it's not me, it's not my character, but we gotta go. So I get in the car, mind you, I have not ate because I just took the food out the oven. And so I'm just complaining and just and sweats as well. Nails not done. You know, just complaining, and I like we just drive, and he ain't paying me no mind like he always does when I start yeping at the mouth. And um, I keep noticing that he keeps putting his hands by the vents and like trying to air them out. And at first I peeped it, but I ain't saying nothing. And then um we kept driving and I seen him do it again. Now my life in danger could take your hands off the wheel. And so I was like, okay, what's going on? He was like, Oh, I just put too much lotion on my hands and stuff like that. So I was like, oh, okay. And so then we pulled into the park where we actually had our first date at um and everything. And um, so I'm like, wait a minute, what are we doing? There's no houses over here. And he was like, Well, I wanted to get you out the house. You got a lot going on, it's a lot of people in town. It's just I just wanted to get you somewhere where you feel like you could just breathe and be yourself and have a happy moment and stuff like that. And so, of course, all that anger and all that went away and stuff, and I was like, man, this guy's just so amazing. Like, he knows what I needed before I even knew what I needed. And so we walk over to the park and the tree, the tree of life is what we call it, and um, he starts saying all these nice things about me, and I'm just thinking it's typical Marcus and everything. Like, he loves how I am with his children, and then just everything about me. And then he drops down on one knee and gives me rose gold ring, and like I was just so shocked, and everything. And it was just it was the perfect proposal at the perfect time, and it was just God, it was just God and everything.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Wow. When when he told you he just had a lot of lotion on his hands, did you believe him? Were you like, nah, this don't sound this is something is off about this?

SPEAKER_02 9:08

To be honest, I believe because Marcus don't be lying.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Hey, his hands be moisturized to the mug.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

I believe dude.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Hey, the one thing he did say at the park, he was like, This is the first place I laid my eyes on you, and this will be the place I've never taken my eyes off you. And that stuck with me and everything. And it's just been beautiful since then, like everything.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Whoo, wee, boy, boy, boy. Every time I think about that proposal, I do it because it's like for for first of all, you know, normally when you propose to somebody, you want to be at your best, you want them to look their best and be at their best. But he didn't even care. He didn't even care that you had on sweats, he didn't care that your nails wasn't done, you know. You had the little, probably had a little cuticle back, you know, you know, he didn't care none about that. It was just, I don't care. This is the woman that I want to be with and marry. I don't care what she looks like right now. I'm gonna do this, but I'm gonna make her mine. And that's it.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Wow. What did that what did like I get what it did to you, but deep down, like, what did that mean to you? Like just the fact that he was able, just the fact that he did that at that moment at that time. What did that truly mean to you?

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Oh, it meant the world. It showed me more than unconditional love. Because like I was at my worst, worst. My mom was my best friend. Like, we two like Thelma Louise, all of that together, for me to lose the only person that I've ever, ever, ever really knew and knew me, and to gain someone that's gonna never take her space or her spot, but let me know that he got me just like my mom had me, and that it's gonna be okay. And he we go proceed forward and gonna pick me up, and we're gonna proceed. It just meant the world, it was just unconditional love.

SPEAKER_04 11:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Love like the Bible talks about love. Like I never experienced that except for my mama.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Wow. Speaking of your mom, um, and and you know, I've I've said this plenty plenty of times to you, but still I'm gonna say it today, my condolences, uh, just because I know what she meant to you. Um when that when she passed, how did that affect you? Like, did you was it something where you went into like a depression? Was it something where like what type of effect did that have on you?

SPEAKER_02 11:41

Um, really, my mom, she was just amazing at just making sure everything was set up before things even happened and before things that I knew was gonna happen. Like, she already had counseling set up, and not just counseling, but like Christian creative-based counseling, because I'm a creative person, but I also am a faithful person, and so the way that she even had where I didn't even have to pay for the counseling, she had that grief set up for me, and it's just like the way she had all the funeral stuff pretty much set up to where it was just easy for me, but that also goes all the way back with like my sister and watching like my mom with my sister and just how she just arranged everything and showed me everything, never shielded me from anything. And look at death as not something bad, but something great. Like she's made it to the side that we want to get to, and so it was beautiful. And I miss my mom dearly, and I wish she was here physically, but I know she's here spiritually always and forever.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Yeah, yeah. Was that kind of how your childhood was too? It just coming up, she was just that person that showed you, taught you responsibility, showed you how to do things. Like, was it like that growing up?

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Oh yes. Um, I lost my sister um to cancer as well when I was eight years old. And so I've been living and dealing with cancer and caregiving since I was seven, six years old. And so to witness my little sister pass away, um, really opened my eyes for the first time to what grief is, what God is, what heaven is, um, from a child standpoint, and to have like a positive connotation about that because the way she showed us, the way she molded us to love the Lord, fear the Lord, know that death is not a bad thing, our loved ones are gonna leave us, but it's okay, you know. You're gonna grieve, but God's greatness is gonna carry you through with his grace, you know? And so that helped me through all my life when dealing with situations of cancer, bad situations, just knowing that it's gonna happen, it's gonna rain, but God also gonna give us an umbrella to make sure that we sustain that rain.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Yeah, yeah. And I love that they're still in you, like you're still living with them in you. And it's and it's it comes out of your personality, man. Like you're you are for everything that you've gone through, losing uh multiple family members, you are the epitome of just like like a bundle of happiness, you know? I like to be honest with you, in the years that I've known you, I don't ever think I've seen you in a space where you were just like mad or had an attitude or upset about something. I mean, I I obviously I know it happens and it has happened, but it's like it's like when you're around us, it's like that that energy boost, that breath of fresh air, you know, the light that shines, that's that speaks to who you are. And so I I just commend you and respect you just because of everything that you've gone through, being able to still have the happiness and bundle of joy. You know, a lot of people you could go one or two ways after losing somebody, especially somebody significant like that, right? But the fact of the matter is you've gone through your grieving process. You you you know, you've got you've allowed God to help you get through it. Um, you'll never fully heal from it, but you know, God can take you to a place where it's like, okay, I can I can sleep better at night, right? I can rest a little bit easy, knowing that you know they're in a better place. But God is like really just transformed you to be like, look, I'm gonna let my light shine through this.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

It's it's wild. And so I just I commend you for that, man. Because you'll you'll never know. Like nobody will never know what you've been through if if they just converse with you or hang out with you because of just the the energy that you bring and the happiness you bring, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

Oh, thank you. I get it from my sister and my mom. Like through their battles, they were just so strong. It was just like, this does not define me. I'm like just continuing to be who I am, and and so I seen that, and I'm like, wow, they going through that, and they can still be happy, they can still be joyful, and I ain't got nothing wrong with me, so I need to make sure I'm happy and joyful.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Yeah, no, for sure, for sure. So you're a stepmother, and how is that how is it like how how was was the transition to go from um you know, obviously marrying into a situation where Marcus has uh uh two kids, um and then knowing that okay, I'm gonna have to take on the role of being a stepmother, even though I don't have kids, um, how was that transition for you?

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Um it was it's been rocky, not rocky, but finding my own voice because I've never been a like mother figure before. I've always been cool, cousin Kayla, and stuff like that, coming with the good gifts, but I've never had to like reinforce or help or teach or mold like children. And so it's it's growing up with them, like since they were five. Now they're like 12 and 13 and 11 and stuff, but when they were five, oh, they were just so my little baby. They love doing everything with me, and they still love doing everything with me, but it's beautiful to watch them grow into their own and everything, and just see them just grow, like they really say they grow fast, and like you blink, and it's like whoa, and everything. But it's been a beautiful transition. I love them so much. I love them like they was my own, and I would do anything for them and everything.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Wow, wow, that's awesome. And you want kids, you want kids of your own one day, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

I do, I do, I do. I never wanted kids before until I met Marcus. He like he really changed my mindset on that, just watching how he was a father to the children, and so I was like, wow, like I want a man, I want him to be my daddy, my baby daddy.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

My baby daddy, my baby daddy. Do you think God puts you in this position um to get you prepared and get you ready for actual motherhood? So, what I mean by that is do you think he put you in a position with Marcus to be like, okay, I'm gonna put you in a role to be a stepmother so you can get the practice, experience, and everything. That way, when it's time for you know, you to have your own kids, you kind of know the lay of the land and everything. Do you think God was preparing you by putting you in this situation?

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Oh, absolutely. On a couple of things, because I actually grew up with a stepmom and stepdad, so I am like not new to the step parent, but I was just a child with the step parent being de dated or married to my mom or my dad. But so I had that idea of what like a step parent is, what they do, things like that. But to actually be on the other side, I think that he is was preparing me for like to be a mother because like I don't really have that mother figure here with me. So to help me and give me that time to learn and come into my own and have Marcus as that helper to help me know, like it's okay, you can like you know, you don't have to be their best friends all the time and stuff, and they're gonna get sad and mad with you, and that's a part of being a parent and things, and and so thankful, especially because he got a boy and a girl, so no matter what we have, we cover either way.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Right, right. Do you want a boy or or do you want a girl, or is there no preference?

SPEAKER_02 19:30

I want a healthy baby. It don't matter what it is as long as they're healthy.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

I love it. I love it. Now, how's your relationship with your dad?

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Oh, it's good, it's good. Of course, it has the ups and downs as any relationship with a parent does um and everything. But I'm thankful for him. So thankful and glad he was able to even make it out there for our wedding and to walk me down. That was very special, very, very special and everything. But I love my dad. We like two P's and a Paz, both of us is the same. Like when I stand next to him, it's like two people just throw a wig on him, and he me now and stuff, and so I love him, and and all that I've watched like as a kid, I've always been like, man, my dad, he just like worked so hard, but now as an adult, seeing like how hard he had to work, I'm like, man, I get it, I understand, and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Yeah. Has has your relationship with him always been a good relationship? Like even when you were coming up and growing up?

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Not really, because my dad was in the military, so um he lived in like either Georgia or overseas or in um DC, and me and mama stayed in Texas. Um, and so I would only see him like either in the summer or holidays and stuff. And so, and I have a little sister over there as well. Um, and so sometimes that like dynamic also can cause like, well, you don't really come see me a lot. I always gotta come see you, or I don't really like coming over here all the time because I miss my friends or I miss my mom. I want to stay down here, but um, and so have those like situations sometimes, or I don't feel like sometimes you've been as supportive as I needed you to be as a parent and stuff, and learning how to voice those to him. I'm still working on that even as an adult because sometimes I feel like our parents sometimes still sees us as children and not as adult children. I'm still your child, but I'm also an adult. So I'm coming at you with an adult question for my parent, not as a child question for my parent.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Yeah, yeah. I love it. I love it. I love that, man. And you know, a lot of times it's it's hard to decipher, right? It's hard to like kind of grow out of that because a lot of parents they still see you as their baby girl or baby boy, and they don't Realize, like, okay, yeah, but I'm an adult now, you know. So the conversations are gonna be a little bit different, you know. So I've evolved with my questions. You also have to evolve as a parent, and you gotta understand that look, your your baby is an adult. I'm a grown man.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

Can't give me no macaroni, like meals style. I need the steak style answer.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Yeah, exactly. No, I definitely hear you on that for sure, for sure. Let's talk about friendships because uh, you know, I stated earlier that you know you and my wife have been friends well since elementary, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:38

Fifth grade, that's my girl.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Fifth grade. Wow. I think and I and and there's a lot of people that my wife still talks to from elementary that she's cool with, hang out with. Um I respected that because I don't have a lot of friends that's 20 plus years. I do have friends that are 20 plus years, but I don't kick it with them or talk to them like that, like on the level that y'all still do. You know what I'm saying? What is it about longevity that really just makes a friendship? What is it about? Like when you have friends that you've been friends with 25 plus years and stuff, what has made those friendships last as long as they have?

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Oh, I would say being vulnerable, understanding, and loving, like those, and putting the work in. And you know, sometimes like you gonna have to go a couple of months because the life is lifing, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you less or I'm not there to support you and things. It's just understanding and that vulnerability and that love, those three things, like just like a relationship. A friendship is just like a relationship with a spouse. You have to nourish that. The love and the work and the time you put into that is the same love, report, and support, and the time you get back into that as well. You know, just I value all my friendships. Like I'm like a person who really loves being around people. I'm a people person, and like that fills me up and and everything, and that's why my cup gets so overfilled and starts overflowing onto other people when I'm around them, and their cup gets filled up because being around people, especially my friends, it just excites me. And when I'm excited, that radiates off of them.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Yeah, no, for sure. Absolutely, and people gravitate to that. People understand that you know what, with her, there ain't no fakeness. There isn't any phoniness, it's all authentic, she's genuine. Like I said, you're a con you you give the best gifts. Um you know, you you you throw the best events, you know. What what inspired you to what inspired you to tap into event planning like that? Because you do be do be having some themed bomb parties, you know what I'm saying? What what inspired you to do that?

SPEAKER_02 25:05

My mama, like growing up, she would throw events and parties for no reason, any reason, just cuz, like, and so um just that helping her with her events made me want to be like, oh, I love being around people, or it just became natural.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Wow, that is awesome, man. Yeah, you you be you be throwing the events. Um so that's that's dope. Um, so you know, we were talking a little bit about um friendships and everything going back, and obviously uh you have you you have a circle that includes the wife, and I just appreciated you what your friendship has really done for her because um it's it's definitely she definitely loves and appreciates you, you know, just who you are. Yeah, so we talked a little bit earlier about longevity and friendships. Um to someone who's listening, because there are there are obviously people who aspire to have friends that go into 20 plus 25 plus years. What would you say to someone that's having trouble kind of finding a good friend, finding a true friend? Um, maybe if you had to give them one piece of advice, uh maybe they you know they they're they're out in the world alone, they don't have an outlet, but they want to be friends with people and they want to make friends. What piece of advice would you give to someone that's like, I'm just having trouble in that area right now?

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Oh, I would say just be you, your unique self, and people will gravitate towards you and not really going out to look for friends, like just be yourself and your clan will come to you, like just a hundred percent be yourself, and out of nowhere, someone will just start talking to you, or sometimes even kind of open up a little bit and be okay with not making yourself because sometimes again our heads will be like, I don't want to do that, I may look weird, or don't think about what nobody else thinks about you. Do what you want to do, do what makes you unique because that's doing what you want to do is what makes you unique, and that's what people love about you, and that's why they want to be your friend, because there's something in you that's different than someone else, and that's why they were like, I really like you, I want to be your friend, or I want to say us to do stuff together, or because you are unique, you yourself. There's no one else like you in this world, so capitalize on that.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Wow, be unique, be yourself, and people gonna gravitate and and pray about it because God will send the right people to gravitate to you. Oh, yes, that's first and foremost. Like you gotta make sure because you gotta have the discernment. You've gotta have the discernment, and everybody that comes to you ain't for you, you know?

SPEAKER_02 28:01

Right, especially if you're looking and you're searching, and you just the first person you're just ripping your feet into and teeth into, and it's like because you're needing that friend. And sometimes if you're trying to find a friend, find yourself first, like see what you like to do, discover your talents, discover your like if you're creative or you like doing this, then your friends are gonna come because they may someone may see what you like doing and be like, oh, I like doing that too. And now you've just created a friendship, so kind of focus on something that you like to do, and then you'll find your people that also kind of like to do that as well.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Yeah, no, for sure. You talked earlier about flight at being a flight attendant. How many countries have you been to?

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Oh, over 30. Definitely over 30 and everything. In a small amount of time, like five years.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

I was 30 countries in five years.

SPEAKER_02 28:57

Yeah, it was a lot. It was it was a lifestyle. It was definitely a lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

Yeah, yeah. Give me your give me, okay. If you had to give me your top three countries, what what what countries would you? What's on your mouth rushmore for countries? Actually, give me your top four. Give me a top four. Top four. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

I would say Italy's definitely up top. Italy is up top. Sure. Greece is up top. I loved Greece. Um Japan was up there, really any Asian like city, country. Love the Asian culture, so hospitable. Um, and I would say the fourth one would be Spain.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Got it. Okay. Okay, there's some good ones. Definitely Italy's my number one. Like, and then, and then to to to go to your wedding out there, man, it was it was a bomb, it was a bomb time.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

We had to get back out there.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

Oh, yes, yeah. Soon, soon we're gonna put it out there in the air and it's gonna come and land in our lap.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

No, for sure, for sure. So, so it seemed like obviously when you were flight attendant, you know, you were a bit living your best life. I mean, you go into different countries, you fly in benefits. Um, what made you decide to give that up?

SPEAKER_02 30:15

Um, it really wasn't never really my like, I knew I could easily fly and travel, and like that wasn't stopping me. The reason I got into flying was actually when I was a senior in college, I studied abroad in Spain, um, art history, and that kind of opened my eyes. I've been overseas with my family because my dad was in the military, but I was with my family. This was my first time as an adult, you know, in your 20s, by yourself out there with a class, and it opened my eyes to the different cultures and just the just everything. And so when I came back, I was like, I gotta get back over there. I gotta see the rest of the world. If that's what this is like, I need to see what everybody else is like because they don't teach us what America's like. But now that I've seen there's so much more out there, so many other cultures, the anthropology of it really enticed me. And so I dropped out of school, and five months later, I was at an international job just traveling around the world. And I told my dad, I was like, just give me five years. I was 25, and I was like, just give me five years. Let me just see the world, get this travel bug out, and I promise I'm gonna know what I'm gonna wanna do. And God showed me while I was traveling and went back to school, got my sociology degree, which deals with traveling and being sociable, and I just love it. And Marcus, when I met him, actually worked for American Airlines. So it was like I left the airline industry, but God also set it up to where I didn't leave the airline like stuff, and so we traveled together always through his job and everything. So I still had those benefits. So that was another reason why I knew he was the right one because God didn't take me from my lifestyle, he enhanced my lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

Wow, that is amazing. I mean, listen to what you just said. I I left, but I didn't leave because I I met someone who worked, and I could still I could still take advantage of what my passion was. I mean, your passion is traveling, yeah. That's my passion, you know. So it's like he didn't take it away from you, he he put you in another position, but then all but still brought it back around to you. Oh boy, God is uh real God is good. Oh my gosh. Wow. You know, sometimes I I in just is because obviously I follow you on IG. Sometimes you take mental breaks from IG to kind of like you know decompress and level set and talk to me a little bit about why you do that and what is that doing for you when you're taking those social media breaks.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Oh yes, I love taking social media breaks. I love social media too, um, and everything, but I also like stepping away to actually open my eyes to see the world around me. Because sometimes where you're looking at social media, you only see like what social media and your algorithm is showing you, and you're not seeing the world through your own lens, you're kind of seeing the world through someone else's lens that wants you to see what you want to see. And so when I step away and I'm able to see the world and like come back to myself and know things that I like and not see what people are telling me what I like sometimes and everything, it just gives me like a fresher breath of air, and then when I come back on, I'm like, oh, all this funny stuff I've been missing, and it's like a fun catch-up and everything, and seeing people say, like, oh, this is what I miss, and everything. But it's it's beautiful to step away sometimes and to find the Lord sometimes in that time, or not find the Lord, but grow deeper with the Lord in those times or grow deeper in myself, find things that I like doing, learn a new hobby, read a book, just kind of enjoy my life without the lens sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

I love it. I love it. Sometimes you need those breaks, you know. It can can it can consume so much of your time in your life, and it, you know, that obviously that's what we do, so it's like you know, it is just one of those things where you kind of gotta you have to take breaks from time to time. Because your mind is your mind is so consumed with stuff. Real stuff.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

That's like with anything too, like with your job, you gotta take a break sometime, go on vacation. So this is like my vacation from like social media and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

Yeah, no, for sure. For sure. And then when you come back, like hey, you look, you be coming back high to heavy. All of a sudden, it's like post, post, post. Did you miss me? Yo, she's back, she's back without pop by popular demand, boy. That is awesome. All right, so you started a foundation, um, obviously in honor of your mother and sister. Um talk to me about what that foundation is and you know what inspired you to do it, and then where do you see it going from here?

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Oh, yes, the CNJ Foundation. Um, it's really my sister's initials, Sheree Nicole Jackson. Um, and when she passed away, or getting ready to pass away, um, she told me and my mom, you're not gonna forget about me when I pass. She's a little sassy one, you're not gonna forget about me when I pass, or I become an angel. We were like, girl, we ain't never gonna forget about you. And so we created the foundation because while we were going through the cancer treatments, we've got and received so much help from like the Ronald McDonald house and supporters and caregivers just making sure that we're okay. Because while you're going through those cancer treatments and the family, you don't realize how much your life becomes very abnormal. Like we lost our home, my mom lost her job because she had to keep going to the hospital, and it was just like our whole world just shifted and changed. But those programs and those special people helped us make sure we had a normal life through an abnormal time, and so that's kind of how our foundation is, and what we want to do is like support those who are going through, specifically children's cancer, because that one's really special to me. Um, and just like show them like we're here to help support you through those times, like where if you needed a gas car to get to and from or to pay for your co-pays at the doctor's, those little bills that people may not think about, or toiletries that you don't think about when you're staying at the Ronald McDonald house or at the hospital, like, oh, I forgot a toothbrush, or I forgot this, and it's like, oh, I remember that foundation helped, and they gave us this package, this care gift, and it had that in it. And it's like, thank God for this and stuff. So, like, just spreading awareness and support and helping the families make sure they just have joy during a time where they need a lot of hope and God and faith, and that we're there to support them.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

I love it. I love it. And when did you start the foundation?

SPEAKER_02 37:28

Uh, my mom started it um in 2014 through her cancer battle, and I've been like supporting her, but then my mama passed, it kind of like carried down to me. I inherited, and so I'm kind of in my revamp stage and trying to get it back going and stuff, but it's definitely my passion. I know God put it in my life, it's my purpose, and I'm so blessed to know my purpose at such a young age because most people go their whole life trying to find their purpose or ask God for their purpose or why they're here on this earth. And I know wholeheartedly that I'm here on this earth to help people who have gone through cancer and the families that have gone through cancer to show them, like, look at me, I was there not once, but multiple times. And like, I've had the help and support of my community, and we're here to help and support you so that way you can get there too.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

That's awesome, man. That's awesome. Yeah, and I love the fact that you know this is a vision that's been given to you from God, and so now you just gotta go out and execute, you know. Oh, yes. And He's gonna give you what you need, and it it's about making an impact, you know.

SPEAKER_04 38:37

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Yeah, no, for sure. So, other than that, what does the next three to five years look like for you? Like, what do you what are some things you want to accomplish?

SPEAKER_02 38:46

Um, I definitely want to have expand our family and everything, and see motherhood from a different stage from the beginning and not just from five and up. Um, and I think that would be beautiful. Um, C and Jay watching that expand and flourish. Um, still traveling, can't get that out of us. Um, and just enjoying life with my friends and family and and thanking the Lord every day because tomorrow's not promise, and I'm just so grateful for everything he's done.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. And how many kids do you want?

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Oh, I want like the cosmic, a whole clan of five. I want all of us riding around, yes. Yes, cosmic Bel Air, yes, all of that. But I ain't getting no minivan. I ain't getting no minivan.

SPEAKER_00 39:37

I'm about to say, you're gonna be in a town and country.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Not me.

SPEAKER_00 39:45

Oh, that's hilarious. Well, I'm gonna get you up out of here on this last question. Um, let's say you're talking, uh, let's say you're sitting across the table from 20-year-old Kayla, and she's gone through tragedy. Um, she's lost a loved one. Um and you know, it it she's heartbroken by it, right? It it's causing her to maybe go into a little bit of depression, you know. It was obviously like when you lost your mom and sister, those are people that you deeply loved, like true love, like there's no replacing them. You know, she's going through a similar situation where she's lost somebody that's really, really um near and dear to her heart. Um, and she comes to you for one piece of advice to help her navigate or try to get out of the situation. What's one piece of advice that you would give her?

SPEAKER_02 40:35

Oh, don't give up, encourage yourself. Um, keep going and like motivate yourself and find things that bring you joy, and that's what's gonna carry you through. And those things may be like journaling or talking with the Lord, singing praise songs, painting, find something that's gonna encourage you to keep moving and like keep just going and driving, but encourage yourself. You got this girl, speak those affirmations into your life. Like the worst thing is a mind that lets you know that you fail, but the greatest thing is a mind that tells you you can exceed and you will exceed.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Wow, wow, that's a mic drop moment. Wow, that is awesome, man. Keep going, keep going, keep persevering through. Um, because you keep knocking at that door, it's gonna open at some point. You know, you just gotta keep going and be consistent, and and and just you know, it's also good to keep a circle around you that you can lean on, out you know, you can lean on people and they can be the support system that you need, the motivation and encouragement that you need, you know. Yes, that is so important. Um, and you had that people that you leaned on, you you you absolutely had that, and that's what's gonna help get you through, you know. Yes, wow, wow, wow. Well, this was good. I appreciate this conversation. Um, appreciate you just coming on and giving your journey and your perspective, and uh definitely much appreciated.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

Oh, yes. Thank you, V. Love you so much. You and my girl, keep taking care of my girl like I know you are.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

I'm gonna try to. I'm gonna try to. Well, make sure you follow us on IG where we post reels from the episodes. And if you can't watch us, you can listen to us wherever you get your podcast at flip that switch. So whether you're watching or listening to us, please make sure you're tapping in. And again, Kayla, good luck. Uh, obviously, you know you the homie, so we all go in together. I I can't wait to be talking to you three to five years from now, and we all just thriving and doing what we're doing, you know.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Yes, and will and is, and I claim it, receive it, and send it back to you.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

Absolutely, absolutely. We're gonna see y'all for the next episode, and we out. Peace.