Ep. 84-A Calculated Thanksgiving: The Joel Michael Guy Jr. Case

Our latest deep dive unpacks one of the most chilling Thanksgiving crimes on record: the calculated murders of Joel and Lisa Guy by their son, Joel Guy Jr. We trace the path from a simple welfare check to a home transformed into a chemical crime scene, where overheated air, acid-filled bins, and a pot simmering on the stove told investigators everything they needed to know.

We take you inside the psychology and logistics of the case: a 28-year-old supported into adulthood, no job, no deadlines, and total dependence colliding with his parents’ plan to retire and cut off funding. The spiral notebook found at the scene reads like a task list—knives, bleach, heat, disposal—revealing intent stripped of emotion. From Walmart receipts and surveillance videos to digital searches on chemical strength, we show how small facts stacked into a timeline that prosecutors could present with devastating clarity.

You’ll hear how the timeline unfolded over Thanksgiving weekend, the forensic logic of turning the thermostat to 90 degrees, and the grim attempts to dissolve and obscure evidence. We examine why the defense had so little room to maneuver and how the jury reached life without parole. Then we step back to ask the harder questions: what happens when endless support replaces boundaries, and how does entitlement curdle into something deadly? This is a case study in motive, method, and the modern investigative toolkit.

If you value thoughtful true crime, subscribe, share this episode with a friend, and leave a review with the detail that stunned you most. Your support helps us bring you more careful, compassionate storytelling that looks past the headlines and into the hard truths behind them.

Sources:

United States Court of Appeals – Standard Insurance Company v. Joel Michael Guy, Jr.
https://law.justia.com/cases/federal/appellate-courts/ca6/21-5562/21-5562-2024-08-19.html 

FBI Press Release – Knoxville Fugitive Arrested by FBI for the Alleged Murder of His Parents
https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices/neworleans/news/press-releases/knoxville-fugitive-arrested-by-fbi-for-the-alleged-murder-of-his-parents 

WBIR News Article – Joel Guy Murder Trial for Killing His Parents
https://www.wbir.com/article/news/crime/joel-guy-trial-day-three-parents-were-victims-of-ferocious-attack/51-92d63b98-bf60-4491-8e04-85d8ba4381d7 

Transcript

Cold Open: A Thanksgiving Horror

SPEAKER_03 0:00

How does a son raised in comfort, supported into adulthood, never denied a thing, turn his parents' home into a slaughterhouse? Today, we're going to talk about Joel Guy Jr. and the calculated Thanksgiving murder. This is Hold My Sweet Tea!

Banter, Setup, And Theme

SPEAKER_01 0:59

And I'm Pearl. And if you guys hear a leaf blower in the background, no, you don't. The lawn guys are out here.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Yeah, they picked right when we were gonna record to, you know, blow leaves.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

They're taking their sweet booty time because we tried to wait. Yep. So if you hear a faint hum, it's just just ignore it. Pretend it's not there.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Thanks. Yep. So we are in Thanksgiving week. Yep. Turkey mode activated. That's right. But snap time. That's all. But I always identify with Wednesday Adams from the Adams family. When she did the uh Thanksgiving play at camp, you know, and she was like, we cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours years from now. My people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. That's my favorite part of that movie. Because I am an indigenous people. So, you know. There you go. Friendsgiving, Thanksgiving, Indigenous People Day.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

But you know how you want to celebrate. I'm gonna be completely honest. I like that is probably the one culture that I've been the most interested in in my like my whole life. Yeah. Has just been Native American culture because it's so interesting. Like all the beliefs are so interesting.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

Absolutely. I'm like, hmm. They really are, but you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

However, you celebrate it, we hope that, you know, you get to celebrate it with somebody and eat lots of food and go to sleep. Yeah, take a nap.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Take any like woo-hoo, nap day. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

It's the best day. And it's supposed to storm here, so you know. Yay. Yay. Naps and rain. Fair kind of naps. Yep. The best.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

When it's like calm rain, not crazy.

SPEAKER_03 3:15

There might be a tornado rain. Yeah. And I don't need my dog freaking out rain.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Yeah. The light, nice, just rain, rain is good. So where are you taking us today? So are you gonna say Texas? Don't say Texas.

The Guys’ Family And Neighborhood

SPEAKER_03 3:31

No, it's not Texas. It's well, it's between Tennessee and Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Okay. So, you know, I wanted to pick a case that kind of revolved around Thanksgiving. And what better case than Joel Michael Guy Jr. and the Thanksgiving slaughter of his parents? Lovely. Yeah. So if this doesn't make you lose your appetite, nothing will.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Listen to listen to our podcast on Turkey Day so that you don't eat too much. Play it for your family. They'll enjoy it.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

So Thanksgiving weekend in Knoxville, Tennessee is usually, you know, a quiet thing. Families packing up leftovers and driving back home, just, you know, reliving the day. Some people, it's not a good experience. You know, they always have the family fights during Thanksgiving and stuff. We save ours for Christmas. Yeah. Be like, that's why I didn't get you a Christmas present. No. But on Golden View Lane, something is wrong. The house at the end of the cul-de-sac looks, you know, perfectly ordinary. Anybody passing by this pretty two-story house with like their, you know, trim lawn and all that stuff, wouldn't think anything different. But behind that door, behind those walls, lies a murder.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Murder. Yes. Oh. And it's not just a Tom turkey murder. No, not just a turkey murder.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

So Joel Guy Sr. and Lisa Guy, they were a couple known for their warmth and their kindness and the love for their family. A couple who should have been finishing Turkey Leftovers or texting their daughters about when they'd see them next. So Joel Guy had three young daughters when he met Lisa. They got married, and Lisa got pregnant, and they had Joel Guy Jr.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

So he's the little half-brother to the sisters.

Welfare Check And Gruesome Discovery

SPEAKER_03 6:03

Okay. But, you know, it's kind of odd that the lights in their house were on day and night. There was no movement coming in and out. By Sunday morning, Lisa's co-worker started getting worried. She never missed a shift. She never ignored a call. She didn't come in, you know, to work on that Friday. So they made a request, like a welfare check. Like, just can you go check and see how things are doing? And that's how usually people get welfare checks because people notice just weird stuff. Yeah. Ain't acting right. Right. So they just want to make sure everything's okay. So two of the um Knox County deputies step into onto the guy's family porch that night. They expect to find like a misunderstanding, maybe a dead phone battery, maybe a sick day unreported, something like that. But they don't expect what actually greets them. The smell hits first. It's like a chemical smell, suffocating, like burning the back of the throat smell. The heat inside the house is unbearable. As if every vent had been turned all the way up. Something's off and deeply like just suspicious. Oh god. Like he was trapped. Um so the officers like went into the house, they announced themselves. There was no response. They started going upstairs and they noticed like some brown stains that, you know, look like dried blood kind of on the stairs, like going the wall going up the stairs. So they cautiously went upstairs. I can still hear the dog barking. At the top sits a bathroom door, and it's just like unnaturally warm, like humid up there. When they pushed it open, the sight is so overwhelming that both of the officers like froze. So they knew at that point, like, this is a crime scene.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

We gotta go. We gotta call for backup.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Yeah, we gotta get more people over here.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

So they did, um, they all started backing out. They were just like, all right, back out, back out, back out. The dog did get rescued. So yay, dog. Yay dog. He was locked in the room. Poor baby. But at the top, like of those stairs where that bathroom was, in the bathtub, there were two large plastic like bins, and in them was like a bubbling corrosive liquid with human remains just dissolving in this chemical stew.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

In what kind of bin? Those like big rubber made totes. Like, how is this corrosive chemical not eating the rubber maid tote? But it's eating the rubber.

The Chemical Stew And Evidence Trail

SPEAKER_03 9:19

I'm gonna tell you what kind of like stuff. Okay. So, you know, the air, like, like I said, had like this like acid y fumes and everything. Nearby, there were like knives and tools, just bloodstained tiles and stuff. Like it was a it was a scene, but it was a scene that wasn't finished. Like somebody was gonna come back and finish it. So he was working on it. I see. Okay. So they went into um a workout room that was right there. Well, they had opened the door to that, and laying on a towel were two severed hands. Downstairs, um there were grocery bags sitting on the floor. They had like new chemicals in them, so still stuff to use. The freezer was standing open. And then there was a large soup pot on the stove.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

The stove was on.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

It was boiling in there, so which which caught their attention because it was on and boiling. They opened the lid to find a human head in it. Yes. Great. So when you know detectives came in, they started searching, they did find um a backpack upstairs, and inside of it was a spiral-bound notebook belonging to the victim's son, 28-year-old Joel Michael Guy Jr. Inside the pages are covered in neat handwriting titled Assets, Plan, Get Killing Knives, Money, all mine. And I'll go into a little more detail about what it said in. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Like he wrote this stuff down in a this has been long time premeditated. Okay. Yes, yes. Fun time. Pages describing exactly how he intended to murder his parents, dismember them, dissolve them into nothing. So it wasn't, you know, spontaneous.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Because the money's not all mine. Right. I have sisters.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

It wasn't spontaneous, it wasn't emotional. It was literally a blueprint. He was making a step-by-step methodical plan to eliminate the two people who had spent their lives supporting him, feeding him, housing him, loving him long after he should have been standing on his own. Instead of it, like this whole thing became the site of one of the most gruesome and, like I said, meticulously planned familiocides. Am I saying that right? Families? When they somebody kills their family, it's fine here is spoiled, ungrateful, little asshole in just in Tennessee history. So the question, well, I there's lots of questions, but uh one of the questions that we're left with is what happened inside the mind of Joel Jr. Or what didn't happen? Like right.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

I was about to say, what part of his brain did not develop?

SPEAKER_03 12:52

Like how long had he been planning to kill his parents? Right. AF. So, right. It's crazy. So let's go into like I'm just gonna say Joel Jr., Joel Sr. I'm not gonna say their whole names because it's a lot. It's a mouthful. So let's go into Joel Jr. So before we, you know, and I kind of I wanted to give you a brief of what happened. So before before we dive into the whole crime scene and the notebook and all that stuff, um Joel was born on January 30th, 1988. He was the youngest of four children, but the only child of Lisa and Joel Sr. that they had together. Like I said, his three older sisters were from his mother's or his father's previous marriage.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Got you.

Who Is Joel Jr.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

I'm just messing all up today. I'm gonna get it together. So from the time he was a boy, Joel Jr. was different. He was quiet, he was withdrawn, he was highly intelligent, but socially absent. Teachers, neighbors, things like that said he was polite, but he was just odd. He was just an odd bird, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

So he's not like the guy in the Chick-fil-A song where he said, Think I'm weird, I was homeschooled.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

No, because he wasn't homeschooled, he was just still weird.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

He was just weird.

SPEAKER_03 14:30

But throughout his adolescence, his world revolved almost entirely around his parents' support. He would, you know, stay home, he would stay on the computer, he was always like doing stuff, keeping to himself. His parents loved him, of course, but they even described him as like isolated and detached. His parents, you know, they doted on him. They they wanted him to have everything in life, of course. Normal. Yeah, they paid for everything. When he went to college, they paid for his housing, his groceries, his health insurance, his tuition. They gave him a car, spending money. Hi.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

I'd like to be adopted.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

Right. Well, you're dead.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

I wouldn't kill you.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Right. Like anything he needed. Like he never had a job. Right. Holy crap. Okay. 28 years old, still not employed. He was attending classes off and on at LSU, claiming he was studying to become a plastic surgeon, but he never applied to medical school. He never took the MCAT. There was no evidence he was close to graduating.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

So he's just taking random ass classes, basically.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

Probably and just so he shows he's enrolled. Living off his parents. You know, his parents, they thought he was struggling, so they kept supporting him and paying for everything. But in 2016, that support was coming to an end. And Joel knew it because Lisa and Joel Sr. were planning on retiring. And they wanted to move to a different house. They wanted to retire and live out there. Enjoy the rest of their lives of their lives together. Um Joel Sr., he worked or, you know, he worked most of his life as a pipeline engineering designer. So he had good money. Um and Lisa, she worked as an accounts payable specialist at Jacobs Engineering. I'm sure she made good money too. So they were well off. But to support your child in every way and not hold them accountable and to like make their own money is just kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

It's a lot of crazy. Yeah. Especially when I'm sitting here going, he's almost 30. Yeah. Holy crap.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

And he carried like this heavy financial burden on them. So they were, you know, they had been saying it for a while, but then they announced their, you know, that they were going to retire. So he knew it. And they had planned on telling all of them over the Thanksgiving holiday.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

So slight reminder because I can see this in the sound waves. If you hear a leaf blower, no, you don't. Sorry. Exactly. I'm gonna try to clean out as much as I can, but just in case.

Finances, Retirement, And Motive

SPEAKER_03 17:55

So somehow, Joel Jr. had figured out his parents, like, you know, that he knew they had life insurance policies, but he kind of figured out like how much money he would receive. And because they were gonna cut him off, in his head, this was his only way of keeping that money coming. Keeping that financial security coming. Yeah. Because if they lived, he got nothing and he got cut off and he would be forced to be a big boy. Mm-hmm. God help him.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

What's he doing with the rest of his time? Well, obviously planning to murder his parents, but like you have no job, you go to classes sometimes. Yeah. What are you doing all day, every day?

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Nothing. Nothing. Being a lazy loser. Oh my god. So now we're gonna move on to his planning phase. So hands, huh? Yeah. So the single most chilling piece of evidence in this case, like I said, was Joel Jr.'s spiral notebook. Whee! Yeah. The notebook detectives found in the bedroom, left behind as he like left the crime scene. Like they said, he, you know, he was planning on coming back to finish everything up. So he it would look like they just disappeared. Like, why would they disappear? Yeah. Why so these are like verbatim phases from phrases from his notebook. Okay. Get killing knives. Kill him with knife. Kill her with knife. Money, all mine. Flush chunks down toilet. Body gives time of death. Remove hands and feet. Douse everything with bleach. Turn up heat to 90 degrees to melt bodies. Use blender to make meat look like hamburger.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

I'm like, these are your parents. Hmm. Also, though, why'd he stop in the middle of it and leave to come back? Like he had something to do. Well, I think he was trying to establish like an alibi.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

So he would go back to Baton Rouge and then he was coming back. So that way they'd be like, Oh yeah, he's been in Baton Rouge, da da da da. So he was trying to which it was like five hours away. So he had to drive and then drive back. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

That's a little piece of a drive because Ray and I went up there once. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

So he didn't write in like emotional language. He didn't write about like anger or resentment. He wrote like somebody running an errand, making a shopping list, pretty much. Sounds like it.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

It sounds exactly like my to-do list.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Yeah. Except you're not trying to murder somebody.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Mine have nothing to do with knives.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Which is why the house was so hot, because he had he also bought a space heater and put in there in the bathroom. And then he turned up the like central air to like 90 degrees. So it was sweltering in there. Because he thought, you know, that would speed up decomposition. So they couldn't have a timeline if they did find something. Or he was just trying to get rid of it that that quick. So downstairs in that bag with the chemicals, they found a Walmart receipt with a timestamp and a date. Also, sitting in the kitchen floor, on the floor there was where his mother had brought in groceries when she got home. Cold stuff, all that still just sitting in bags. Found that receipt. So they went to Walmart.

SPEAKER_01 21:59

So now they have their range of when they could have died anyway.

The Murder Blueprint Notebook

SPEAKER_03 22:04

So went to Walmart and established the video from where his mother had was purchasing some groceries. She got a few Christmas decorations, things like that. So they knew that he had killed his father, like he said, you know. And then when she got home, she had just put the groceries down. So it was like a surprise attacks type thing. Because he he stabbed them. So he killed.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Well, that makes sense as to how he got how he did this separately.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 22:39

So then, you know, he they had the receipt for him with the timestamp and the date. Saw him on video. He was buying um bandages and peroxide because, you know, defensive wounds are not defensive wounds, but like he got himself. Cut himself from them fighting back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

I was gonna say that happens a lot during a struggle when you're murdering, stabbing someone. Usually the person doing the stabbing also cuts themselves.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

And yeah, there's pictures I'll put up of like the wounds on his hand where he got messed up. So as he was making this plan in the weeks prior to that, um he had gone to the store, like Ace Hardware, Walmart, things like that in Baton Rouge to buy things. So some of those things were multiple large plastic storage bins, bleach, um, like hydrogen peroxide, but like the more medical grade, like hydrogen peroxide, muriatic acid, um, a serrated knife, a K-bar combat knife, drain cleaner, protective gloves. He purchased all this separately in like small increments at different stores, like somebody wouldn't like put it all together. I mean, yeah, so he's thinking, oh, they'll never put it together because I doubt. Well, they pull video, my dude. So they got you on all these occasions getting all this stuff. He even researched the strength of chemicals and how to accelerate decomposition. So, you know, they got on his little computer.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Oh, you mean he did something?

SPEAKER_03 24:28

Yeah. Everything he did pointing to pointed to planning, of course. So then it becomes Thanksgiving weekend in 2016. He arrived at his parents' home um on, you know, the Thanksgiving holiday. The whole family was there, um, the daughters, the grandchildren, all that stuff. Um, he was very quiet and detached, but they're like, he's always like that. He hardly ever spoke to anybody. So I was gonna say, what else is new? But yeah. And at some point during the weekend, um, the parents told everybody that they were retiring. They also told him that, you know, that they were going to stop his financial support. So less than 24 hours is when these murders began. So the sisters had all left. They lived elsewhere.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

What kills me is he planned this murder like it was his job. Right. He could have just got a job. Right exactly.

Purchases, Receipts, And Surveillance

SPEAKER_03 25:41

He's that meticulous. Get a job. Like, come on. Ugh. So now we're gonna talk about the murders, of course. So first he murdered his his father, Joel Sr. He was, they had an exercise room upstairs, like I said. He like blindsided him, stabbed his father 40 times. He severed ribs, he severed muscles, he inflicted wounds, like just deep cut-to-the-bone wounds. But he had that big K-bar knife too. So I'm sure he used that. Um, but Joel Sr. fought back hard. There was blood spatter, um struggle, like you could tell, because it was just like all over the place. Yeah. And multiple like impact points. So he was just like trying to stab as much as he could. But, you know, he he killed his father. So a little while later, his mother came home, Lisa, um, and she, you know, she didn't have a chance, she didn't stand a chance because he had already like killed his father, so he was in like murder mode. Um, he attacked her in the hallway, stabbed her 31 times, cutting into like organs and multiple ribs, and nearly decapitating her. So I guess that's where he just went ahead and took her head off anyway. Um her blood trail showed that she collapsed almost immediately. So she didn't fight back because I'm sure he probably grabbed her from behind and was just like stabbing. He learned from dad.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

That's what I was gonna say. He learned after the struggle and fight with his father.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

So he dismembered both bodies, removing arms, legs, hands, heads. Um, he placed most of the limbs into the large plastic bins filled with muriatic acid, attempting to dissolve them into like a chemical soup. And I think like you can use plastic with muriatic acid, it won't go through. These are things that I learned from breaking bad. Remember when they dissolved the bodies and Jesse put the guy in the bathtub, and Walter's like, you put him in the bathtub. I told you not to put him in the bathtub because it'll eat through it. So I think that's why. Maybe he watched Breaking Bad. Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Shame on TV for teaching people how to do things.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

And then he took his mother's severed head and put it in a pot on the stove with some additional chemicals and turned on the burner to boil it. And then I guess he had taken the hands off and had them to the side because he was gonna, you know, burn off the fingerprints, things like that. He turned the just going along with his plan, turned the thermostat to 90 degrees to accelerate decomposition. Um, he had plastic sheeting across the floors, which really made no difference because there was blood spatter all over the place. Um like the level of planning was just crazy. Yeah. Lunatic level. But the thing that, you know, and and I'm sure it would eventually have caught up with him, but the thing that caught him was Lisa didn't show up for work. And she always showed up for work. So that was when the welfare check came in, and you know, they they found all the stuff. So they went through all the evidence, they went through and got, you know, it it took some days to like get the video surveillance and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

All that would take time for sure.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

And they had learned that he had left Knoxville and returned to Baton Rouge, um, and he lived in an apartment alone. So on Tuesday, November 29th, the FBI and the East Baton Rouge Sheriff's Office arrested him outside of his apartment building. He was very calm, he didn't show any emotion. He didn't deny anything. He didn't have any questions about his parents. He just went with the officers. So because I mean he wanted to get taken care of. Yeah. So now he's being taken care of. There he goes. He just still doesn't have to work. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

Either way, he got out of work.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

Exactly. So then we go into like his his trial. So prosecutors presented the graphic crime scene photos, the notebook, the surveillance videos, um of him purchasing the chemicals, the supplies, autopsy details, um, his fingerprints were on the K-bar knife. Uh like his digital research history. He also the reason he had turned the heat up and turned the stove on, because he was trying to do like I think he was thinking maybe it would get hot enough to where the get because it was a gas stove that maybe it would explode the house. Oh. And then he wouldn't have to do anything, and all these body parts were dissolving.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

So he's like, if I come back and I still have to finish this, cool, but if I come back and the house has exploded, also cool.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

Right. And I'm like, do you not think that they still wouldn't find evidence of them dismembered?

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Let's be real here. Um, you're gonna find whatever didn't dissolve in said plastic tub with plastic melted to it. They're not gonna think your dad was just like leisurely hanging out in a freaking rubber made tub.

SPEAKER_03 31:43

Right. With his his arms severed and all this right in different areas of the house and his mom's pot. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

They're not gonna think that this head landed in the pot while it was on fire with no body nearby.

SPEAKER_03 31:57

Not at all. Like, come on now. So the defense did not contest the evidence. Their strategy was very minimal. They were they tried to like point out his odd personality, his dependency, his lack of friends and employment.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

So they kind of went that route because they were like, he's not a stable human route. Like he should be in the coogie bin, not the prison. No, no, no, no, baby.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

Nope, he goes to prison.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

He he planned it, he knew what he was doing. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 32:34

The jury did not take long. They found him guilty on all counts. Two counts of first-degree premeditated murder, three counts of felony murder, abuse of a corpse, felony use of a deadly weapon. And all this has a motive. Yep. The money. The money. The judge sentenced him to life in prison without the possibility of parole. He is currently incarcerated at Riverbend Maximum Security Institution in Tennessee. So this case leaves us with this chilling monster that like what back to the question of what happened in his head. Was he a sociopath? He had like no no feelings for his parents whatsoever, but yet he was like fed by like dependency. Did he have resentment? I I don't know. He like he had total lack of empathy.

The Killings And Dismemberment

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't, I don't know, maybe he just wasn't capable of emotion. Yeah, that's what made him awkward in life, and then he was just like his parents are just they're a transaction, they're not a relationship.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Not at all. And like he didn't like snap and go crazy, he didn't break, he planned it, he plotted it, he executed every step he wrote. So it was just a like I said, a blueprint, a manual of how how to get the money's all mine. I'm like, no, my dude, it's not. No, no, like I said, it's just a crazy, crazy thing to happen on Thanksgiving break. Yeah. When families are, you know, supposed to have a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

I'm surprised he didn't use the electric knife. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

The old electric knife. We used to have one of those.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

I still have one. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

Like everybody back in like the 80s had one of those and it had the two. It has the two knives. Yeah, and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

And you're like, you're like, look at this turkey.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

My perfect turkey carving knife. Yeah. I think I'm pretty sure every family in the 80s had that. I still haven't.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

It's crazy, which is hilarious. But you know what? It's still great, still cuts turkey really wonderfully. I never use it for anything else. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 35:19

I mean, why you're not gonna like murder anybody, so there was a wait, there was some it was some movie or something I was watching, and they I think they used one of those.

SPEAKER_04 35:32

What was it?

SPEAKER_01 35:33

It was in Ed Gain in the in the monster stuff. Yeah, because he invites the guy whose mom was found in the barn. The detective invites him to his house. And he used that turkey. Yes. He used an electric turkey. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

I was like, where did that come from? It was like my brain.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

And here's here's how you know that only people got it back then because he gave it to his wife as a gift. That's right. And I'm like, oh, give me something like that. Right. My present, like a vacuum cleaner or some psycho and shit.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

Unless I asked for not a housewarming gift. Right. Unless I'm like, hey, I really want this kitchen gadget for Christmas. Yeah, don't buy things like that for your wife.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

No, no. Buy her things that are for her personal use. Yeah. Because you like her and you know the things she likes.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Here, honey, I got you a turkey carver. And then he's the one who's the one that's carving because he's quit it.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

All right, I digress. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

But you know, tell us what you think about this episode and the the motive behind it, like the craziness behind it. Do you know anybody that's financially dependent on their parents for every little thing? And then you go, ps parents.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

Yeah. Check this episode of Hold My Sweet Sea Out. This could happen to you.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Be careful. You're next. Right. Like, yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Or at least we hope you're not next.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

But you know. That was my my ode to Thanksgiving, even though this is coming out on Monday. But your episode will be on Thanksgiving. On the day. So while you're, you know, hanging out with the fam. Cooking, put your headphones on. Yeah. And let them listen. I don't know if yours will be as gross and gory as mine, but well, we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

We'll see. Either way, you know. Perfect way to go on a diet you didn't know you wanted to go on. Just listen to cooking heads on old cookies.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Sway for the holiday.

Heat, Acids, And Botched Cover‑Up

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I can't wait to see what comes across Christmas. I know. I can't wait either.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

I'm like, I gotta start looking. And then the new year stuff. Like we always gotta find something true crime, of course.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

I mean, ever people kill on the holidays. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 38:14

It's just, you know, some people, it's just another day. Or some people they like I said, they meet with their family and they all get like in a fight and somebody goes, you know, crazy and snaps. Yeah. Joel didn't snap. He just he planned it out. He was in it for the money.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

I did it for the money, money. Exactly.

unknown 38:39

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 38:41

Oh, great. But you know, he gets to spend the rest of his Thanksgivings in prison.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Well, we here at Hold My Sweet Tea. Hope that Patty Salzetta has a wonderful Thanksgiving with her family. As nice as I am, I rage out pretty equally.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

Oh my god. Well, and speaking of rage out, like on my last episode when she killed her husband and stabbed him 193 times, then I was like, oh, her birthday was like April 27th. I was like, oh, she's a Taurus. So we hold in our emotions as a Taurus. Let it build. And let it build and let it build. And then Pressure Cooker. We do snap, and rage consumes us. And it we just kind of go into this blackout rage. I like I'm not speaking for every tourist, but I'm pretty sure most Tauruses have been there once or twice. And we say not so nice things to people. And people are like, You're so mean. And I'm like, you brought that on yourself. Because I've given you many warnings. So yeah, I was like, well, not that that's an excuse for killing her husband, but it was a moment. Yeah, it was a moment. She flashed out.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

If you have a moment where you'd like to go, hey, let me share my family dysfunction with you. Right. Please feel free to send us an email. Oh my god, yeah. Hold my sweet Cheap Podcast at gmail.com. Or you can message us on social media. Send us your dysfunctional family stories. We'll even take pictures. Like if you see, if you take a cutesy picture for Thanksgiving or Christmas with your dysfunctional family, please send it.

unknown 40:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

We'll be like, oh, look how cute you guys are. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

Very, very cute. Absolutely. And as always, Hold My Sweet Tea is a drunken bee production. And you guys remember to stay safe out there. Don't financially support your children when they're almost 30. And just because we're dipping doesn't mean you can't keep sipping. Bye. I need a drink after this.