Ep. 89-When Loss Meets Legacy And Turns Into Light

A courtroom twist knocked the wind out of us: after bond was denied in the Shondra May case, the accused died in custody two days later. No trial, no cross-examination, and a community left with raw questions and a grief that doesn’t fit into headlines. We sit with the frustration, the waiting, and the way unfinished justice weighs on families who deserve answers.

Then we change rooms, not hearts. We share the story of Ray, a father who spent 49 Decembers as a professional Santa, perfecting the small rituals that light up children’s faces—malls, firehouses, nursing homes, even local TV. As he planned a golden 50th year, a pancreatic cancer diagnosis arrived like a storm. He chose hospice, steady and gentle, telling his daughters to save sadness until it was necessary. Hospice staff heard the family’s story and quietly built a bridge: a small gathering, familiar families, and a corner of the facility transformed into a winter scene. With help, Ray buttoned the red coat, lifted his posture, and gave a soft but perfect ho ho ho. The divider opened. Kids gasped. Year 50 happened.

We talk about what endures when cases stall and people fail us: the craft of showing up, the power of community care, and how a single afternoon can carry a lifetime of meaning. You’ll hear candid reflections on grief and closure, plus lighter personal memories of department store Santas, Bass Pro photo lines, and the strange comfort of holiday rituals. It’s an episode about legacy, compassion, and choosing to make the magic instead of waiting for it.

If this moved you, share it with a friend who needs a little light. Subscribe, leave a review with your favorite moment, and tell us: what tradition are you keeping alive this season?

Source Material and photo credit:

Melnick, Melissa, December 7, 2025, My Dad was a professional Santa for 49 years-Until tragedy struck.  Then a group of strangers gave us a miracle., https://uk.style.yahoo.com/dad-professional-santa-49-years-131907971.html?guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAL6GciC2E6NF8tG4oMgEKprgF6FktVpAYE84dCsU-OCAWISmNXGRib5z3XZ1R4WitEDcOe8v-GGl3NNYJiWCZpU0BIltgbwYfupz5n-qEP2ieF5EuD0_6a7bXIZvUxeKm3-ugVQRjh0hkLiah1g3gUUPCPbHOMKQg5ixFOYCyvmy&guccounter=2

Transcript

Quick Update On The Chandra May Case

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So today we have a little update, and I'm gonna do something just a little bit different. This is Hold My Sweet Tea.

unknown 0:49

I'm Pearl.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Go day, chaotic listeners. I'm Holly. It's all about balance here on this podcast. That's right. We're not rage baiting, though. No.

unknown 1:05

Shh.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

So we have update, a small, tiny, irritating update. Indeed.

unknown 1:16

Yeah.

Bond Denied, Then Sudden Death In Custody

SPEAKER_01 1:17

So the Chandra May case, we all know the last little update. I told you that they have DNA evidence that Ruben Wheat was the dude, whatever. So you know they've got him scheduled to go to court. So he goes to court and it's like a bond hearing, which he gets denied bond.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

As he should have.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Absolutely. Um then a wonderful two days later, he decides to up and die in prison. That sounds so suspicious to me. Like yeah, so he actually was that what date was Saturday? It was the 6th. So yeah, he died on the 6th of December on my honey bunny's birthday.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

I know when you sent that to me, I was like, there's a sham here. There's something wrong. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Oh like, what happened? Who knew something else? Right. So his cause of death is unknown at this point. But they're saying that they don't suspect any foul play. They always say that. And Mississippi Bureau of Investigations is handling that case because it it has to be investigated regardless. Absolutely. But so now it's, I guess, a matter of just waiting because I think that regardless of what his cause of death ends up being, um, hopefully they'll still release the details of their investigation so everybody can still see it. That would be great. Give some finality. I'm just like, golly, are you kidding?

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Yeah. Because, like, right when you get to, okay, they found this guy, they know it's him, they've got the DNA stuff, now we have to go to trial. He dies. Mm-hmm. That's just a a punch in the gut for Schonder's brother and the rest of her family.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

And friends, and everybody else that knew her, teachers, gosh, like the whole dang school at that point.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

One of the biggest cases in Mississippi history at this point.

Family Impact And Community Frustration

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah. And it just got sadder. Yeah. Because I was like really looking forward to that. And I know I wasn't the only one. So I l I think that's the first time I read something and went, are you kidding? Like about somebody dying, like getting angry about it. I'm like, yeah. So a little sad. If you're mad about it, message us. Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

We can all have a lot of Mississippi listeners. Mad together. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Yep. Yeah. So what you're doing today? Something a little different, you said? Yeah, so we're gonna do something different. Something that's more like tragedy turns small miracle type stuff.

unknown 4:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

It's a Christmas miracle. Some, but it it also might make you cry a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Um we'll see. I just thought it would be uh, you know, balancing to do to do something just a little off the wall, a little bit different. Merry Christmas. Right. So we're gonna talk about uh a father who became a professional Santa Claus.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

And he was a professional Santa Claus for 49 years, and then something really crappy happened right before his 50th, that he was like hoping to reach that 50th.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Wow. So how does one become a professional? I guess that's like going to clown school to be a clown, like you have to have certain requirements and certain a look, I guess, to be a professional Santa. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

And so this the story I read is actually by one of his daughters. She's the one who wrote about the whole situation. And she kind of explains in there a little bit about how her father, his name is Ray, started being Santa at just 21 years old.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Wow.

Pivot To A Christmas Story

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Yeah. And she said, like growing up, she was taught that Christmas magic wasn't like something you just like something that happened and you just waited for it to come. It was something you made. And that's what she learned from her father being Santa Claus. Yeah. He was actually working a wedding party for a local catering company, and there was a request that the bride and groom be photographed with Santa. So this would be his official first time playing the part of Santa. Crazy enough, a coworker just so happens to have a Santa suit in his car.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

He's like, wait a minute, I have a Santa suit in my car.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah. So of course, you know, Ray's like, cool, I'll be Santa. Right. Let's do it. And then, you know, like Rudolph, the rest is down in history. There you go. So for the next 49 years, like I said, he'd every December didn't matter what he was doing, he was Santa.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Yep. He was like, I'm gonna perfect this, this Santa.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Mm-hmm. It's like didn't matter if his he like had a different job, or if like he twisted an ankle or somebody died.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

He's like, I I have an obligation. He's like I am Santa.

The Making Of A Lifelong Santa

SPEAKER_01 7:50

I am Santa. And it was like just really a big deal for him. And he would go to malls, he would go to schools, he would go to firehouses, churches, nursing homes, restaurants, banks, libraries, community centers, just literally anywhere. Parks. Wherever he was like wherever he could ho-ho. Wherever he could bring some joy to some children, that's where he was, or even some seniors, you know, stuff like that, like sick people. I mean, that had to have been like really heartwarming for him because he's brightening the day of someone who may not have been right okay. He even did some Santa stuff on TV for like the news and stuff like that. He would do private parties, obviously. That's where it all began. So why not? And he would go and buy candy canes and like hand them out. And he literally was just like, you know, fixing his suit if it tore or anything like that. Like it was just like he wore that this whole entire time. And every year he would tell his daughters, there's nothing in the world like seeing a child's face light up. That's why I do it. So at the end of his 49th year, he was like stoked because he won, he's like immediately starts planning for his 50th year at Sandy. That's a that's a milestone. Right. That's that's the golden anniversary. Yeah. So he had like some ideas. He wanted to like start getting some toys that he could hand out and talking about like the families he's seen year after year and hoping to get to see them again and you know, do pictures or whatever with them. And then he was like, you know what, I think maybe after that I I'm gonna retire. I won't be Santa anymore. He said, but maybe not. We'll see. Yeah. And his daughter said, you know, knowing him, they really didn't think he would stop like ever.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Yeah. Because he was like, what, 71 at this point? Because he started when he was 21. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

So this is when typical life gets in the way. And their lives get jarred and turned upside down because he finds out at a doctor's appointment that he had pancreatic cancer. Oh no. And his daughter states, you know, that he didn't cry, he didn't ask why me. He just took my sister's and my hand and said, Well, we'll just take it as it comes.

unknown 11:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

And she said, you know, that's that's her father, gentle, steady, unshaken, even if the ground shifted below below. He's just everybody else's rock. Unfortunately, this cancer moved really fast. Yep. And within weeks, it was in his stomach, his abdomen, his bowels. Like it was just spreading.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

My mother, that's what she passed from. She found out and it it went fast. They said that's one of the the worst kinds.

Year 50 Plans And A Diagnosis

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Yeah, it really is. It's it's so bad. And Ray decided that he didn't want to continue treatment, he was just gonna enter hospice. Right. And so they decide at the in the hospice center that they're just gonna do a little family photo shoot, little quiet one. And he could wear his Santa suit. Yes. And they like tell their father that this is what they would like to do, you know, like put you in your suit, and we'll take a a last family photo together in your Santa suit. And she says that her father like literally looks down at the oxygen tube running from his face and is like, Santa doesn't wear oxygen. She said it was sadness, but not really like bitterness or anger. It was just kind of like he's accepted what's going on with him. And of course, that left his daughters brokenhearted because I mean this has been his life, and they felt like you know, they were watching the door slam in this poor man's face, and he wasn't gonna reach that 50th year, which was like at this point like a big dream of his. Because he, like I said, it was major. He was planning, planning, planning, and then got sick. So they were not, I mean, they didn't want to push it. So they just kind of let it let it lie and just said, okay. He said to his daughters, let's just enjoy the time we have, no sadness before it's absolutely necessary. But then the family had told the intake nurses at the hospice care about how it was supposed to be his 50th year playing Santa and all that stuff, and just like what it had actually meant for their life, because this was like his life's work at this point. And they didn't ask them to do anything or fix anything, they just wanted to share a piece of themselves and you know, be able to tell someone they were disappointed because they didn't want their dad to know, obviously. Yeah. And the staff at the hospice center decided that they wanted to honor his legacy because this was his life, like life's work.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

It's his identity. Yeah, at this point, I mean, your dad is Santa. You grew up and he's always been this way, and he's done this for 50 years.

Hospice, Doubt, And Daughters’ Heartbreak

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Yeah. So they decide they're gonna plan a small get-together with just some staff members and their children. Ah. And then they invited a few families that he knew from past years, and they decorated a cozy little spot for all of it so that he would feel comfortable and safe, like he's not leaving the hospice center. Yes, they're gonna bring it all to him. And then they left it up to him if he wanted to put the suit on or not. Right. And wouldn't you know it? Their father stepped right into that suit.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Well, and it's the children. That's why they invited all the kids, yep.

Staff Create A Final Santa Moment

SPEAKER_01 16:01

They said his breathing was shallow, but everyone helped him get his buttons fastened and everything on. And they said once that coat button, all the coat buttons were done up, that his posture changed. Like he straightened up, his eyes were bright, and he let out that signature ho ho ho in the same booming voice that they had heard their entire lives. They said it wasn't loud, it wasn't effortless, but it was perfect. And when the staff pulled back that room divider, because they were hiding him from everyone else, everyone could see Santa sitting in his chair, and the children's faces brightened, and that little gasp from their surprise. The daughter describes the moment as proud, magical, and larger than life. He did it, he made it to year 50. Of course, I'm sure everyone there cried because it makes me want to as well. But a local news crew from the same station that he had appeared on several times throughout the years showed up and captured the story. That's so awesome. And they said that within 24 hours of the airing of that show, 120,000 people had viewed online. There were pictures and letters and messages from parents whose children had visited their dad over the years. They came into the hospice care center. There was one woman who actually posted a picture of her daughter sitting on his lap the whole 50 years ago. And wrote, he was the first Santa I ever met. That's so cool. So that is what I was doing today. Making everybody happy sad.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

Yes, little happy sad. And but I mean, you know, sometimes you need a little heartwarming Christmas story to go with the the darker stuff. We do a lot of the darker stuff, and I assume like not long after he probably passed away. And I wonder if he was buried in his Santa suit. You know, I had to take it to a dark place. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

It's a great I I would have.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

It would have been a great way to do it, yeah. Absolutely. He needs to be buried in his Santa suit. Mm-hmm. Because that was his life.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Yep. But I was like, that's five decades of Santa Clausing. It's a lot of Santa Claus to be Santa Santa.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Yeah. I mean, somebody can bring joy to children's lives and and get joy from it, it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Yeah, I was like, it wasn't just feeding their souls, it was feeding his as well. Absolutely. I mean, so I thought that was like a really cool little thing that I happened upon. Right. And I was like, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 19:36

It's Christmas. Christmas. And you always gotta have like a little like feel good story during Christmas. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yeah. Still has a sad ending, but at least he accomplished what he wanted. Absolutely. And I I'm sure that was a really big deal to him and his daughters.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

Well, and then he was just kind of defeated and was like, mm, no. No.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

One last hurrah. A really amazing memory for his family.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

A hurrah, if you will. Hoorah.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

A ho ra. That was a good one.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

I like that one though.

Suit On, Spirit Back, Magic Happens

SPEAKER_01 20:16

I think the first memory, I guess, I have. I'm sure I visited Santa before that, was the time that I was afraid of Santa Claus. I think you've seen my picture where my grandma, my dad's mother, had to sit on Santa's lap with me. Yes. And y'all, I was wearing a strawberry shortcake dress. Love it. I was like, what? And and of all things, I I had tennis shoes on. Like blue socks and tennis shoes with this red strawberry shortcake. Like, who dressed me? Right. Like, thanks, Dad.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

That was my thoughts. But I was like, who knows? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

But yeah, and I was literally crying, sucking on my bottom lip, which is funny because my son also used to suck his bottom lip. Yep. And my grandma's like holding me, like shushing me, looking at me, like, it's okay. And Santa's just like bing.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Take the picture. Hurry up and get this crying kid off my lap. Right. Her grandma and her heavy together. Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Yeah. I have a picture from I think my first Santa experience. I was um four years old. And it was a picture from my mom took me to Dillard's because you know, the department store Santa's. And of course. I had like this cute little burgundy dress with a white, like little Peter Pan collar shirt underneath it with the little puff sleeves. And I had like little white knee socks on, and my little brown Mary Jane's. And I was like, had my hands on my knees, and I was sitting on his lap, and you could see the file, the smile on my face was very fake because I was like frozen in fear. That's what I was about to say. Was it one of those? I'm I'm a little bit scared, but I'm supposed to be happy. But we waited in line at Dillard's, and I have to take this picture. Yeah. Because I was cute.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Yeah, that's funny. Yep. Oh my goodness. Well, and then, like, you say department store Santa, but my kids went to Bass Pro Santa.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

Oh, that's where, yes. Bass Pro Santa is always the best because we got the Bass Pro, we're near where we lived, and that's that's where we went. And it was the free picture, so you had to wait in line. You could buy more, but we always just got the free picture. Yeah, we just got the free one, too. But it was always the best, like background setup and everything. Yeah, it was so cool. Yeah, I took really pretty Dylan every year. Very Louisiana Santa. Yep. Mm-hmm. No, no Pyro and and uh alligators, but it was it was a good background setup.

SPEAKER_03 23:02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Yeah, my kids loved it.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

I don't I don't re I don't recall any time where they were ever really afraid of Santa. And I'm like, well, lucky you.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Yeah, Dylan never was really. He would just go right up there, and he's usually not the type of person that likes people.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

So I think my kids were like, oh, he's the guy who brings me presents. Cool, let me go sit on that guy's lap.

Community Memories And News Response

SPEAKER_02 23:26

But I will say that back in the day I used to run a photo lab, and it, you know, it was at Walmart. And I don't know if Jeff Boyd listens to this podcast because he follows me on Instagram and he was working in there with me. But he played Santa at Walmart, and we were having like this little break. There was nobody like coming up, you know. It was kind of during the middle of the day, and I was doing the photography for it, and he's like, go over there and get a bottle of wine. So I went over and got a bottle of wine, and he acted like drunk Santa. He was all laid out, like sprawled out. I still have those pictures, Jeff, if you're listening. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. They were the greatest. We had drunk Santa. It was a memory. Hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

I want to see.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

I don't think you've ever showed me those. So now I will dig them out. Yep. I will dig them out and show you. Oh my goodness. Absolutely. So you know, I'm pretty sure that we have a friend who should be bringing her little one to go see CNS.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

And she also did our theme music. Which was a gift. Yeah, uh absolutely. Thank you, Patty Salzetta. The gift that keeps on giving. Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Joy to your ears. That's right. And again, if y'all are angry with me, don't forget to send us an email. Like, she did something nice. No. So hold my sweet tea podcast at gmail.com is where you send those. Absolutely. You can also message us on social media. The ticky talkie. Y'all make sure y'all are liking the stuff on the TikTok. Y'all make sure you're subscribing to the YouTube. We're stuck at 93. Let's get going.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

It's a Christmas miracle. Get us to 100. We just need seven more. And we've surpassed 6,000 downloads. So we're we're trudging our way to 10,000. Yeah. Yep. Let's do that by February 14th. Because that is our pot aversary. It is. So download, download. Send it to everybody. It is not just single awareness day. Yep. That is your whole Christmas gift to us. Yeah. Sharing our podcast. Yes. With everyone. Like put it in the Christmas gift that you're giving to everybody.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Yeah. Do it. And then message us like a picture of you doing that. Yeah. Be like, there you go. We'd love to see it. And hopefully we can get together some sort of giveaway for our one year. That would be really cool. We'll figure it out. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

As always, hold my sweet tea as a drunk and be production. And you guys remember to stay safe out there. And if you're not comfortable sitting on a man with a beard slap, don't do it. Yeah. You don't have to. Just because we're dipping doesn't mean you can't keep dipping.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

Bye.