Consider the Source: Holiday Peace Without People-Pleasing

What you’ll hear

Holiday opinions can get loud—Stay later. Bring more. Why aren’t you married yet?
Today, we reclaim your peace with a simple filter—consider the source—and give you clear, kind sentences to use at real gatherings (plus a 60-second bathroom reset you can do anywhere).

Save these lines (copy/paste)

Staying late

• “I’m heading out at 8:30 so I can be fully present tomorrow.”
   → Pivot: “Who wants tea before I go?”
  
  

Extra tasks (“load creep”)

• “I can’t add mains, but I’ll bring dessert and tea.”
  
  
  
• “Two things I can do are A and B.”
  
  
  

Money & gifts

• “We’re keeping it simple—experiences over stuff this year.”
  
  
  
• “Our budget’s set; let’s plan a game night in January.”
  
  
  

Food/body comments

• “I’m listening to my body—this is perfect for me.”
   → Pivot: “Did you try the salad? It’s amazing.”
  
  
  

Screens & photos

• “I’m off my phone tonight. Send me your favorite photos later?”
   → “Let’s grab one quick picture by the tree.”
  
  
  

“Why aren’t you married yet?”

• Warm: “I’m building a life that fits me, on my timeline. I’m happy.”
  
  
  
• Values: “Commitment for me is about alignment and timing.”
  
  
  
• Playful: “Currently partnered with my peace. How are you this year?”
  
  
  
• Firm: “I don’t discuss my relationship status at gatherings.”
   → Pivot for all: “What was your favorite moment this year?”
  
  
  

The Boundary Ladder (choose your rung)

1. Redirect: “I can’t stay late—how about I help with dishes now?”
   
   
   
2. Limit: “I’m in for an hour.”
   
   
   
3. Trade: “I can’t make sides, but I’ll pick up dessert.”
   
   
   
4. Delay: “Not this week—circle back in January?”
   
   
   
5. Decline: “That’s a no for me.”
   
   
   
6. Exit: “I’m heading out—love you. Text me when you’re home.”
   
   
   

60-second reset (bathroom/balcony/hallway)

Feet flat. One hand on heart, one on belly.
Box breathe: in 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4 (×3).
Name one thing you see, one you hear, one you feel.
Whisper: “I lead with my values.”
Re-enter with a task: “I’m refreshing waters—who needs one?”

2-minute Holiday Peace Plan

• Value + non-negotiable: “This week I lead with [value]; I will [specific thing].”
  
  
  
• Draft two scripts: one for time, one for workload.
  
  
  
• Pick one reset: the 60-second sequence above.
  
  
  
• Text one ally: “If I say I’m leaving at 8:30, cheer me on.”
  
  
  

Workshop 

I’m hosting a capped Values-First Planning Workshop in early January so I can coach you live. Waitlist gets first dibs and a bonus Winter Word → 90-Day Map worksheet.

Email hello@daryamaeki.com with subject WORKSHOP WAITLIST. 

If a moment lands beautifully this week because you used one line from today, I want to hear it. Merry Christmas, friend.