Overcoming Obstacles, Part 2, with Special Guest, Brita Ferm

Join us this episode as we continue to discuss obstacles in art. Today we have a special guest, Brita Ferm.

Brita is the author of the book Secret Families Problem Families, the host of two podcasts, The Loving Parent Podcast, & The No More Elections Podcast. She is an accomplished pianist, an amazing painter, a wife, mom, mother-in-law, grandma (known as Grams), and Christy’s mentor & friend. In previous iterations of her professional life, she worked as: 

a telephone operator, a big box store manager, a corporate billing clerk, a non-profit grant writer, and an artist. She went to college in her late 30’s, earning a BS in Health Science and an MA in Education. She co-founded Happy Child, Inc. and served as its Executive Director and Principal Investigator. Happy Child provided substance abuse prevention education to children and parenting/reparenting classes for adults, while researching self-esteem in the families before and after the classes, all of which was funded by the US Department of Health and Human Services. 

She played in the 1988 Super Bowl halftime show as one of the pianists.

Mentions:

Romero Britto, artist and painter - https://britto.com 

Super Bowl Halftime Show, January 1988: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqrksVDVO6w&list=RDwqrksVDVO6w&start_radio=1

rjkenna.com → writing class

Brita’s Links:

https://www.instagram.com/oceanbeachart/

https://lovingparentpodcast.com/

https://www.absolutearts.com/portfolios/o/oceanbeachart/aboutartistbritaferm.html

Chelsea Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5pC0sv2owewxT0u7moL7Pe?si=6A6QAveCQUq-yf9GNkIbfQ

Christy Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2FBHoxFWv0iDmfVMAQl4h6?si=ZkO6rhamRWaqHv7JmPZI6A

thecreativedownloadpodcast.com

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:08

You're listening to the Creative Download, a podcast to inspire and encourage others to live in the fullness of their creativity.

Speaker 0:25

Well, hello, you guys. Welcome back to the Creative Download. This is season two, episode six, and part two on overcoming obstacles in life with art. So continuing your art, no matter what the obstacle is. So excited that today we do have a guest, my good friend and mentor, Brita Ferm, who's also an amazing artist, pianist, and has been through many obstacles, but continues her art. And we'll get into that in a little bit. And if you're just popping in, we're on YouTube, we're on Instagram, on all the podcast platforms. So find your choice of where. But we'd love to hear from you on Instagram and love a follow on Instagram. It's the Creative Download Podcast. So let's just dive in because I know this is going to be a fun conversation. We're going to be talking a lot with a lot of good stuff. And we always start off on what we're working on creatively. So Chelsea, kick it off.

Speaker 2 1:22

Hi guys. It's so good to be here again. I'm so excited about season two, episode six. Um, Brita, thank you for joining us. Um, yeah, so I'm very excited. I started a um uh a writing support kind of class thing uh with a friend of mine who she's she's starting to teach this. Uh so I jumped in with her. It's like a five-week um course. And so I am like finally jumping into and writing the draft of my novel that's been in my head for 13 years, 15 years. Um it's called The Truth of the Tale right now. That'll probably change, I imagine. So that's really exciting. I'm only about you know eight or nine pages into it, but it's I've been brainstorming and coming up with stuff for years and years. So um yeah, so that's great. So I'll kind of keep you guys posted as that progresses. Uh I'm also working on one of my chanting kind of pieces called Sound of the Stars. Um I yeah, I I actually got to share it at a uh like this song circle kind of women's um thing that I did uh a couple weeks ago. Um and it was so fun because it was all a cappella and I I we just did one of the verses and I sang it to them and then they sang it back to learn it. And then a couple of the gals in there were were obviously singers and musicians of some sort, and they were like, oh, we hear like echoes, can we just echo you? And so, and I the the host, oh the hostess, she recorded it. So I have the the audio recording of me singing and then them echoing, oh, and it's just it's so fun to hear it like come to life. Um that was really cool, and then I'm working on um my uh my song Singing Under, um, specifically focusing on the cello part. Um and the I'm trying to figure out the right hand of my piano that I where I want to go with it. Like I have to break things down into left and right hand um to just the way my brain works. Maybe and maybe I'm not alone in that, but um so I feel really good because I finally am like sitting down to work on these things that's very satisfying. Anyways, kind of kind of a long explanation there. What about you, Christy?

Speaker 3:36

So excited. I love God, I can't wait to hear the um full the um music to the sound of the stars because I really love that, and that just sounds so exciting to me. Um well, I worked on our characters this week on our TV series, and I'm really finding that it's so much fun. And I know when you and I worked on the characters together a couple of times, um what we're and we talk about this a little bit more now, we're putting together a pitch um to pitch a television show and a pilot, which is super exciting and one that both Chelsea and I have been thinking about um for years to do. So having it come together, but I just had so much fun with the characters, and I really am realizing like characters live in my head a lot. Yes, I get that. So I had no problem sitting down, and I love now we have a structure, which I think is so important with this kind of writing that we were given a tool, you know, to on how to structure this. And so it's making it flow, it's helping it flow a little bit. Um, we're really busy in our real estate business right now, which is a lot of fun too. Um we have been approached to sell some commercial business, which is a new revenue. So uh Drew, my husband, is stepping into um learning that part of real estate, not just residential, which opens up a whole other more like multifamily, not necessarily, you know, focused kind of like side of um residential. So I'm learning some of that. And then um we have three new songs that I have written with my co-writer Lori, and we have they're all written on piano with um this young man, Jackson Pulling, who's uh in Vancouver or outside of Vancouver, and I he is an amazing pianist. So this was really fun, and it's a different style of um, it's different working with piano versus guitar, because all of the songs we did with George were guitar, like driven in this actual writing part. So um we just finished um a song, This Is Your Life, and we're producing it with another Sink Titan. So we're prepping that and actually have two versions an anthemic version now and a singer-songwriter version that kind of came to life. I'm so I'm busy. Four busy. I love my life so much right now. And it's really funny, I will say too, like um Jody Friedman, shout out to him at Sync Titans because he's an amazing mentor and music coach too. And he had a great coaching session. I hope he'll be on our podcast one day. And he's talking about like, you know, you have to, you know, change as you go in life. He calls it wrecking the room, and he could explain more of that. But I am loving the room I'm in right now. Like, I'm like, I don't want to wreck anything, I want to be wrecking continuing what I'm doing. So now that's enough for me. Brita, what are you working on?

Speaker 1 6:34

Okay, I was trying to think last night because I've had a recent injury and I'm just now getting off the pain med. So my mind is clearing. And my main focus right now is a party that I'm giving in the middle of May. And it's for me. It's my 75th birthday party. And I'm giving it in San Diego, even though I live near Chicago. Yay! So I'm planning menus and decor and little gifts for people. And you know, finally got the invitations. I'll actually show you one. It's really cute. I don't know if you guys can see that. Oh, I love that. My little starfish eat dessert first.

Speaker 2 7:18

I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 7:21

So starfish are like my totem, I guess. And so that's mostly what I'm focusing on right now. Um, I've been wanting to play the piano, but my piano is covered with stuff because we had to move the whole living room around to get a bed in there for me. But this will make me more, you know, interested in getting back to it. And I'm having to teach myself a different way to play the piano, and we can talk about that later. But um, yeah, I love it. So that's me.

Speaker 7:53

Yay. Well, thank you, Brida. And uh, let me tell tell our audience a little bit more about you because you have quite a background and I've known you for about seven years, I think now. And um, you know, and she you've been my mentor and my friend, and like I would consider you like my life coach. Like, I go to you for so much because um you have so much to bring to me and I think to our audience as well. So Brita is the author of the book Secret Families Problem Families, which I love and refer to a lot as a parent, um, the host of two podcasts, the Loving Parent Podcast, which is amazing. Um, and the uh No More Elections podcast, which is I'm very excited for her to talk about on this show too, because this is on a lot of people's minds right now. We're living in kind of some wild times here in America and the world. Um, she's an accomplished pianist, and I love I mean accomplished pianist, an amazing painter. Um, she is a wife, she's a mom, mother-in-law. She's also known as Grams, um grandma, and my mentor and friend. And just to give you a little background on her, too, and her previous iterations of her professional life, she's worked as a telephone operator, big box store manager, corporate billing clerk, nonprofit grant writer, and an artist. She went to college in her late 30s, which I love because I graduated when I was just turning 30, earning a bachelor's in science and health science and a master's in education. She found founded or co-founded Happy Child Inc. and served as its executive director and principal investigator. Happy Child did provide substance abuse prevention education to children and parenting, reparenting classes for adults while researching self-esteem in the families before and after the classes. It was funded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. That is quite amazing. So I'm so excited because we can go in all kinds of directions with you. I do want to just kick off because one of the things that really stands out about me, about you and my relationship with you, is how you pivot in life when life throws you a curveball or when an obstacle shows up. Like you are such a great example of that. And in your um art, like you mentioned with playing piano, maybe you can go into that with us, like what you were doing as a artist and where you went and how you've had to and why you've had to relearn piano and also art. Because I'd love for you to share that part of your story.

Speaker 1 10:38

Okay. Um, the piano part, I started taking lessons when I was a little girl and showed some talent. And so my parents invested in a really good teacher when we moved to Montgomery, Alabama. And her name was Helen Boykin. She was a composer as well as a teacher, and I got to study with her for probably eight years as a junior high and high school student. So I learned classical piano from her, and I gave my own recitals where I played the entire program. I was also able to do some recordings with a uh symphony orchestra, uh, not one of the well-known ones, but boy, what an experience that was as a young adult. And then when I was, oh, I guess late 20s, I was playing Chopin one day and I realized that I couldn't see my left hand while I was reading the music. And normally I would read the music, and you can catch your hands out of your peripheral vision. And I thought, man, that is weird. So I called my eye doctor and he said, Yeah, you better come in. And then he just really matter-of-factly said, Oh, yeah, you have histoplasmosis, you'll probably be blind in two years, and come back and see me in six months. And I found out histo is a fungus carried by migratory birds and chickens. And we have a tremendous starling problem in central and northern Illinois, and their droppings contain this histoplasmosis uh fungus. And in most people, it stays in the lungs and they think they've had a bad cold. And in a few people, it goes to their eyes and it attacks the retina right in the dead center of the retina. So I have lost most of my central vision. My musical talent was sight reading. I could sight read anything. I mean, I used to play for one of the high schools where I lived, you know, helping the instructor out, and he would put an Irving Berlin score in front of me for a musical and I would just play it. I can't see it anymore. And I have tried and tried and tried with all kinds of technology to be able to read music, and I just can't. So I've learned over the years that most people have either the talent of playing by ear or the talent of reading music. Most people don't have both. So I am laboriously teaching myself to play by ear. And I'm getting better at it. I'm definitely, I mean, I know my chords, so I'm just having to figure out how to listen and do chords, and it's a challenge. But when we moved here, I was able to my living room is huge, and I was able to buy my own grand piano. And that inspires me to get over there and play a few chords.

Speaker 13:40

Yeah. I love that about you. I mean, because so many people would quit, you know. And it is, it's like learning a different language, I think, as you were speaking. It's you know, the way our brains, I know for like Chelsea and I talk a lot about doing like active listening, you know, like even with producing, you have to l do this active listening to listen for the different instruments. Like that's a whole that it can be really exhausting, actually. Yes.

Speaker 1 14:06

Yeah. Yes. And then the art part of it, the actual painting and that kind of stuff, I've loved art since I was a little girl and had books about art and artists, and started collecting art as soon as I could afford little tiny pieces that I would see at a little art show. And once my vision went bad, I couldn't see those pieces. And I was watching a decorating show one day, and this guy was showing how he had copied some artists on the internet uh onto his kitchen cabinets in great big relief. And I thought, I have very ratty kitchen cabinets and I can do that. So I found an artist I liked, uh, he's Brazilian. His name's Romero Brito, which I thought was interesting that his name was so close to mine. Yeah. And I copied a couple of his paintings in very, and they're very blocky with black lines outlining. So they're really easy for me to see. And I thought, this is fun. So the cabinets on the other side, I just looked out the window and drew what I saw in kind of his style and painted those. And then I painted one very similar on just a piece of masonite, big masonite, 24 by 30, and put it up on the internet just to show people. And somebody liked it and bought it. And I shipped it off to Colorado. I know my very first original painting.

Speaker 3 15:37

So amazing.

Speaker 1 15:38

Yeah. So I still paint. I um do art shows. I had a studio here in my little town for the last three years, but it had to close. So I'm back to finding space in my house. But I'm hoping to do another studio. I'm hoping to get that going for the community again.

Speaker 15:57

I love that. You know what? What I love that you did it too is that you posted it right away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then sold it. Because like that to me, it's like, right. What? Like, how'd you do that so fast?

Speaker 1 16:10

You know, it's like, well, and my family was amazed. They're like, we don't paint, we don't even draw stick figures. How would you do this? Yeah. I'm like, I don't know. And I did a painting of my mother who used to sit on the floor in the laundry room and talk to our dog. And I swear that dog kept her sane. And my sister said, the dog's name was Joe, and she said, How did you get Joe in there? I said, I don't know. I just kept dabbing paint until Joe showed up, and then I quit. And most artists will tell you the key to painting is knowing when to quit. And Joe taught me that.

Speaker 2 16:51

Oh man. I think that was um Yeah, I think that's um I think that's really important. Actually, what you just said, we're kind of learning in our uh in this in this writing, you know, class that I'm doing this. Um uh the my my friend, the instructor, you know, she's like, there's a time when you need to know that or she's like, there's you need to know when it's time to fire yourself, you know, from the the certain process of you know, the writing, you know, somewhere in there. Because you know, there's times when you're just like, okay, it just it needs to be done and it needed you need to stop and it's time to move on to the you know, editing or whatever.

Speaker 17:33

But the song, it's like there's a there's the same thing with a song. There's a time to say enough, move on to the next song, or you know, because you can just that's like kind of the surrender too of letting it, letting the art piece come in or the song or the writing come in and I used to teach my students because I think, and this can kind of lead us into some other stuff, because I know you have an education background, and and so Brida and I like to talk about all the education stuff, and I do a lot on this show, but I always taught my fourth graders and my middle schoolers that you know you get all this input in the world, right? Like in your school and in your life, you have a lot of input going into your brain, and art and music is a way to do the output of how you perceive what's going on. And so when we don't have the output, which we've cut so much of that in schools, we really struggle, I think, as a culture. And so um, you know, the input that we get, like right now we're in this really uh crazy time. And um, I ran into a friend of mine who um she walked by my office and she's a fantastic artist. She's sold her art, she's been in all these art shows, she's brilliant and just lovely. And I asked her how her art was going. I haven't done art, she said, since October 7th. Oh, since um, you know, uh Israel. The attack on Israel, yeah. She was so devastated. She's like, I'm so devastated by everything that's going on, I can't do my art. And I was so taken aback because I was like, to me, that would be a like, what do you and I said, why can't you do your art? And she goes, I just can't do it. And I said, I think you I would love for you to do your art now. Like, this is like a time I want to see your art. And she goes, I will not do art in a negative way. And I was like, Oh, this, and it really, I mean, I am still bothered by like like like the um intensity of uh an artist being just it because I get it too, like I've had to stop my art, you know, because I've been, I can't do it, you know, just for whatever reason. And I think, and it just kept with me for like days what she said, you know, that we can be so impacted that um we can't do our art. And I think for me, and I think Brita, you do this, Chelsea, you definitely do this because we talk about it all the time. I have different avenues of art now. Because there are some that I'm like, I have to put that down. Like it's overwhelming me. I and I also want to honor that she wants to feel what happened. She doesn't like she does she want she's being her authentic self because the art she likes to do is really bright, happy colors. Well, you know, I'm just so dark. I love, I'm like, I'm gonna go dark, you know, and I was trying to encourage her to do it. She was like, I'm not doing that with my art. Yeah, okay. Oh, interesting. So I'm hoping that something comes to her for her output, you know, because I feel like it's so important. It would be lovely for us to all, and important, more important for us to see. And I think we're in the time right now in our culture where art is really important.

Speaker 1 20:40

Yeah, yeah. Which I was just thinking on September 11th, yeah. I was living at the beach in San Diego and I had a ratty fence around my yard, and it was all gray and kind of half fallen down. And so I just took some leftover house paint, mixed up colors, and went out behind the fence and painted an American flag on it. And I thought this is what I need to do. And later that day, and I have no idea if what I did inspired someone or if they got the message from the universe some other way, but on the beach in Ocean Beach was an American flag made out of rocks.

Speaker 3 21:19

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 21:19

And it was huge, and you could see it as you flew over. So airplanes coming in and out, because we were on the flight path for Lindbergh Field, and so people could see it as they flew over, and it was so cool. That's cool.

Speaker 21:34

You know, that's amazing. I um I think I live, no, I didn't live in OB in 9-11, but I was in San Diego, and one of the things that really blew my mind at that time, and I was teaching fourth grade, um, is the plane stopped. Right. Yes.

Speaker 1 21:53

That was so I mean we were used to hearing them every two minutes, and it was airy at our house because there were None.

Speaker 22:01

Exactly. It was really crazy. Funny you bring up the American flag because that is my next art piece. So I have inherited a flag from my mother-in-law that she flew in front of the house. And it's tattered and it's, you know, because it's been outside on her front and it's faded. And I picked it up and I because I took it down. I and it's so sad because I do feel I don't want to fly it right now, the way it's changed, right? Like September 11th, we're flying the flag, we're here, and like now I'm like, I don't want to fly my flag. I'm and um I come from a military background. Every man close to me in my life and my family has gone to war, except for my husband. He's the first and my my son who have not gone to war. I've done so much research on my family. That was also a big thing that um I did songwriting through education, um, where I would research. We did do a lot of teaching of World War II and some of the to third and fourth graders, which is interesting. I think we should do it when they're older, but we did. So I would do songwriting as part of the output, right? You're learning all this information. Let's write a song about a story of people. And so I'm gonna do an art installation with this flag and embroider all of my family members, my great uncles who were killed in action in World War II, my grandfather, who was a World War II vet, my grandmother, who was a woman in the Army Corps, my dad, who fought in Vietnam, and my brother, who's done two tours in Iraq and a tour in Afghanistan, and embroider all of their like names, their ranks, their, you know, on the flag. And those who died, this is where the performance art comes in because I've been to enough performance art shows. I will put real blood on the ones that I also thought today I think I'm gonna do a video uh documentary about it so that it's kind of multimedia and tell their tell their stories.

Speaker 1 24:07

Yeah, you can even do it live on Twitch and record it, and people could watch you do it. I don't know how to do that, but Julian knows.

Speaker 2 24:15

Yeah, Julian would know.

Speaker 24:16

Well, and that's funny because he wants to do video documentaries, and so I was like, maybe he'll go with me. Yes. And we're going to my brother's change of command. He's ending his career. His career is coming to an end in military. He's that the last year, and so he does a change of command in June. And so we're all going to his change of command. So it'd be a great time to do an interview of him because he's the only living member now that um everyone else has passed away.

Speaker 4 24:44

Wow.

Speaker 24:45

So I think I'll approach that to him and see if he'll sit for like a documentary interview with us, but then have this, you know, flag that represents my entire family who fought for the freedom of our country. And it's really interesting to, and that's how, so for me, that's how I'm dealing, I can deal with what's happening right now, right? Like, I'm like, it's so personal, because I think we all have such a personal story that's going on right now in our culture, in our world and with our country. That's my personal story, is that I feel torn because my family has fought for this country, you know, and died for this country. And then to see all that's going on right now is just like and then run into my friend, you know, who's telling her story. And I'm just like, I have what can I do? And it just like came to me when I saw this flag. I'm like, that's what I need to do.

Speaker 1 25:39

I love that. Yeah, so you're gonna frame it behind glass and everything when you get it done.

Speaker 25:44

Yeah, because I yeah, and preserve it, yeah. Preserve it. Um, so yeah, Brida, you and I'll have to talk about some of the medium, like, because I have to figure out like how what am I gonna mount it on? Probably some kind of wood, something stronger than canvas, but I don't right, you know, and then um, yeah, I'm not really a good blood person, you know. I like I envision, you know, like how in like Vikings they take the knife and they get their hand and then um, but in in performance art, which my good friend John Bomay, please I give you permission to correct me on all of this because he teaches this at the University of Victoria. So I've only learned about this through him and through going to them, but there's a lot of in performance art, it it I I've seen a lot of this where people, one guy like sewed the American flag onto his skin, you know, like it's really like that. So I want my blood on the on the flag of my great uncles who died, you know. So it's like it's it's you know, and how that impacts us. I've been talking about this for years, like how even though I've never met my great uncles, but I was very close to my grandmother and their lives and how they were killed in the war, and then what happened after does still trickle down to me. So if you know, we don't think about that because it didn't happen here. Right. Right. Or that I never met them, but it impacted us quite a bit. Um, and every time someone goes to war, I know my family was impacted when my dad went. I know that um it was it's very hard when my brother went. So I'm that's my new project that I love it.

Speaker 1 27:28

I do too. I can't wait to see it. Me too. I know, yeah.

Speaker 2 27:32

Yeah, you should do some, yeah, have have Julian even just do, even if you don't want to do it on Twitch, like the full, like have him grab you know, some video throughout the process. Right. That would be really cool.

Speaker 1 27:44

Yeah, a good interview with you before you start, and then some pictures of the flag as it is, and then your ideas, and then see how those change as you start working on it. Yeah.

Speaker 27:56

It was wild how it all came together when I looked at that flag. I was like, Yeah, I actually have, and it's so amazing all the technology we have now. So I can do all of that, you know. I have songs about them. I have, I mean, I've it's kind of like I've been gathering all this stuff, and it's like not knowing how to do the real output, which that's the output, right? The output is I'm gonna tell the story of my family and my heritage basically behind the flag.

unknown 28:26

Yeah.

Speaker 28:27

And um, so yeah, I thought I felt like that was, and you know, Brida and I have talked so much about our histories. Like I'm a history person, I want to know everything about everybody's history, which is some tell me is inappropriate. Not everybody wants to talk about it.

Speaker 2 28:45

No, well, and on the on the topic of like of the the actual output of things, Brida, have you how has that been um different for you since the output of your art has had to shift and change, you know, whether it's yeah, piano or your art? Do you yeah?

Speaker 1 29:04

I mean, my art is always my painting has always been large format with very bright, bold colors and dark lines. Um the other thing though that's really come about is podcasting.

Speaker 4 29:18

Yeah.

Speaker 1 29:19

And I, you know, my boys say, Oh my God, everybody in the world has a podcast now, because my mother has two. And I understand, you know, and I'm sure they don't listen, but that's okay. A few people do. I'm getting some of the episodes have several thousand downloads, so somebody's listening. Yeah. But the newest one is the No More Elections podcast. And it's really my effort at civics education. They're shorts, so they're no more than three minutes. And I take whatever's current in the news about elections and say what is legal according to our constitution and any laws that have been passed in in between and amendments, and what is not, and what needs to be challenged. And people are not challenging some of these things. Right. And it's pretty obvious that I have a viewpoint, uh, but I'm not stressing it on it. I'm not trying to convince somebody to change their minds. I'm just saying this is the civics lesson behind all of this, and this is what we all need to know so that we can make informed choices. Yeah. And I'm really having fun with it. And I'm not doing it on any kind of a regular basis. I've got three episodes ready to record uh that I've, you know, kind of written out notes on. But when I'm ready, I'll do one or two or four or whatever and put them up and see what happens.

Speaker 30:52

Well, and why do I listen to one of them today? Because I I I lit why I listen to your podcasts off and on. And I I know like you have the other one, the Loving Parent Podcast, which we can come to because that's all about parent. That's all about history, because I love that part. So, but I did listen to uh your new one, um No More Elections, right? That's yeah, No More Elections podcast. And one of the quotes, one of the things that you called for our political leaders to be, which I thought was really interesting, and I think we can apply it to art, and I love this, kind of implies ourselves, is to be bold, be authentic, and act like yourself. And that's what we want now. I mean, I think we hear that too in music. Like I'm hearing that in all we want to hear the authenticity of somebody. And now with all of the stuff we have, that um we have the availability to see everything that's going on. Yeah, the days of kind of presenting this, like this is what we want people to think is going on, are over. Messaging thing. That's what is killing me.

Speaker 1 31:53

What should our message be? I don't give a shit what your message is. You can believe that if you need to. Totally fine. I want to know what you really think, what you believe, and how you're going to put that forward to help all of us.

Speaker 32:07

Yes, yes, spot on. I think we're hungry for that. That's kind of well, you know, and that's why Chelsea and I, we don't really do a lot of producing on this podcast because we want you to see this is just what we do. We were doing, we were doing this once a week, anyways. We were getting together and talking about our art and what we want to do. And just like we have that little interaction where I'm telling you my new project and you guys are giving me ideas, like that's what's so important when you get together. We want people to experience what we're doing and then maybe be able to do it themselves. And I love that you bring up the podcast because that is another way of output too. Yeah. You know, you have a sort of tremendous amount of knowledge, and you are such a good researcher, Brita. I mean, I am, I love it. Yeah, I know. It's so fun. I love it too. We talk about all kinds of stuff, and I think I'm just so proud of you. And I'm I we need you. Oh, thank you, Christy. Yeah, we need you. We need you in all these areas because you also, the book that she wrote, I will say, Secret Families, Problem Families, I think is a very important book. And if you want, we're gonna put a link, you know, put links in this to her. Yeah, put a link to my website for the Loving Parent Podcast, and people can get it that way. Yeah, and I think it's really important because you know, you and I have had these conversations before that our histories, our past, how we've been raised, how the how our cultures have raised children, not even just our families, but how our cultures have raised children is having the biggest impact on us right now. Right, which is what's happening in our world. And um if we, you know, if we can't talk about our lives, and a lot of it is for me, music and art has saved me in this area because looking at our past can be so painful. I have to have an output for it. Yeah. And dance was mine growing up. I always talk about it a lot. I don't think I would have survived junior high in high school without dance. Literally, like the other lead would maybe not have survived it. It's the only class I attended regularly in high school and got A's in. And I think it's so important. And when you talk about, give us a little bit about give us a background on the secret families, problem families, too, because I think it all connects. I'm not taking us off the No More Elections podcast because I think I think this is from what our conversations have been in the past, Brida, is that these are the root issues that we're trying to get to as a country, right? And as a a and a as a human race, basically. Right. And the secret part has been a big problem for everybody. Like, I don't want to talk about stuff, right? And that goes into like you know, be bold, be authentic, be yourself. You can't do it if you have secrets.

Speaker 1 35:14

No. So as Claudia Black told us in her book in the 70s, the rules in a dysfunctional family, which is what people were calling it then, were don't talk, don't trust, and don't feel. And I didn't like the word dysfunctional families because those families were functioning, you know, uh maybe not in a healthy way. So I started thinking about okay, what's different between a so-called functional and dysfunctional family? And in my family, it was secrets. And there wasn't just one secret. You know, there was an alcoholic in my family, there was an overeater in my family, there was a sex abuser in my family, uh somebody in my family was sexually abused as a child at church. So there was religious abuse in my family, and nobody talked about any of it. And there was this underlying unspoken rule that I won't talk about your secret if you don't talk about mine. And that's how the secrets were kept. Now, secrets are shameful. If you can voice the secret, then it becomes a problem. And yeah, problems are hard, but problems can be solved. Secrets cannot be solved until we talk about them, until we get them out in the open. So once I realized that, I thought, okay, this is the way I want to present families. And everybody's on a continuum. You know, everybody's got some secrets in their families, some families are dependent on those secrets. And then the healthier we get, we move toward the problem end of the continuum where we can let those secrets out, turn them into problems, and solve them.

Speaker 37:12

And I think in doing some of that, art is a great way to help you depend on that. Yeah. Because um, writing is a huge one for me. You know, painting has been a big one, dance, music, because uh, you know, I I have the same. So, you know, I don't think this is and I don't think these are isolated things. I think this is an American culture thing, honestly.

Speaker 1 37:35

Or it's a Western culture thing.

Speaker 37:37

It's a Western culture thing. It's not individual. And I think the more people talk about it, my therapist calls it speaking the unspeakable. It's just like you to be able to speak the unspeakable. And um, when we hear other people speak it, whether it's through art, uh, media is huge, podcasts are huge. I have learned so much from podcasts because I hear somebody speak an unspeakable, and then it lessens like what happened in my family or what I I was told you should never talk about in public or whatever, right?

Speaker 1 38:13

Feel less alone too. Oh my god. Well, and it gives us access to so many more people than we could possibly have in our daily lives. Yes, in person.

Speaker 38:22

Oh, yeah, that's a great way to look at it too. Well, and I think Happy Child that you did was a big part of that, like you know, is educating people. So now we get to have like this is an education for people, right? You know, like our set for ourselves and for other people. And I loved something in that book that you share, because I talk about this a lot because it struck me, there's no such thing as a perfect family. Right. You're either a secret family or a problem family, because everybody has problems. If you don't, there's something wrong with you. That's the problem. Then you've got secrets. Then you've got secrets. Um, and I don't think it's, you know, there is an appropriate way to like do that because some people, you know, uh it's hard, you know, we're all at a different continuum, I love how you say the continuum. And I have to remember that because I can be a little bit more open now about stuff because I have been talking of speaking the unspeakable in my family and with people, and but not everybody is there yet. So if I don't want to just tell somebody everything that's happened in the past of my family, and also that you can hold two things true at the same time. Somebody can be um a you know, decorated hero and also an abuser at the same time. Absolutely. Somebody can be, you know, these two, you know, we uh there's a lot of black and white um ideas and thinking that still goes on in the Western culture. You if you're this, you know, then you can't be this. Well, that's not true. You can be, you can there, those two can, you know, be um going at the same time. Right. Um I think this is an interesting time too, because we are got so much is unraveling so fast in front of us.

Speaker 2 40:12

And so much needs to unravel. Right. It needs to continue unraveling and yeah, be I I so I wanted to go back to something um that we were talking about uh Brida, because I was just curious for you. Um the your art, you know, whether it's whether it's music or your painting, um, and this you might find this a really like obvious question, but I'm still gonna ask it for our listeners. How much of your life inspires your art? You know, like you know, your pieces, um, and maybe and maybe I guess maybe focusing on your painting, like everything that you paint, is that inspired by something you see, feel, you know, does the things sometimes just hit you, like imagination?

Speaker 1 40:54

Yeah. Um, I've been experimenting with some new ideas. When I lived at the beach, I had subjects coming out my ears. Yeah. I could literally look out my kitchen window onto the bike path where the dogs would run and people would bicycle, and I could see the ocean, I could see the San Diego River where it went into the ocean there at the estuary. So I always had wonderful, happy, and people would say, Oh my gosh, this is happy art. And it sold like crazy. I would do street fairs and be sold out before the street fair was over. So um had to raise my prices a little bit after that. That's what that teaches me. But now that I'm in this little town in Illinois, for one thing, we don't get outside as much. We have whole periods of the year where we can't go out, it's just bitter cold. Yeah, and I also don't know the people as well. Yeah, and people don't come here on vacation, right? They don't move here because they want to be at the beach or you know, there's we moved here because of family. Oh, you know, people say, Why did you leave San Diego? And before they can even finish, I go grandchildren. Yeah, they win all the time, hands down. Yeah. And so I've had some trouble figuring out what I want to paint, and I've started doing more abstracts. And I actually I like to mix paint up in vitamin bottles. You know, I save everything to mix paint in. So I don't have to mix whole bunches of it, but I can screw the top on and save it. Well, once you get down toward the bottom, it dries out anyway because it's acrylic paint. So I scoop out the paint and I just throw it on a piece of masonite or a canvas, and then I look at it for a while and I start sketching around it or doing something, and I just make something out of it. The last one I did was um orchids. I had some yellow and orange paint, and I just threw it at the canvas kind of willy-nilly, and came back later, put some stems and some grass, and it had a like a midnight blue background. Wonderful painting, sold right away. I wish I hadn't sold it now. I really liked it. Yeah. Did you take a picture of it at all? Oh, yeah. Of course, I I document everything. I try to document the process of painting most things.

Speaker 2 43:25

Love that. Yes. I look for my oh, sorry, I just had a quick question. On just for my knowledge, what is masonite? Like is that it's stone?

Speaker 1 43:35

Yeah. No, masonite is a form of particle board. I believe it's sawdust and concrete. Oh, and one side of it is smooth. And once in a while you'll find both sides smooth, but the other side is really rough. It's cheap as all get out. You can buy a four by eight sheet of masonite, four foot by eight foot, for I don't know, it's probably more like $20. Now it used to be half of that. And just, you know, they'll cut it for you at Home Depot into whatever size you want.

Speaker 3 44:06

Yeah.

Speaker 1 44:06

That's all. Some gesso on it and paint on it. And instead of buying like canvases. Instead of buying canvas. And this stuff will last forever. And is it heavy? Um, depending on how thick you get it, I get the quarter inch. Okay. You can also get eighth inch, but you can get half inch, and that's really heavy. Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 44:27

I know. Thank you for asking that. Because I was like, okay, this is maybe not a I'm not going to ask this question.

Speaker 1 44:36

This is the education part of your podcast. Exactly.

Speaker 44:39

I got it down on my um, actually, you're so brave, Chelsea, because I wrote it down on my list to ask you to after the podcast. No, this is why we're doing this podcast. We're asking these questions now. Thank you for your authenticity. That's awesome. I like that idea. Because I like actually painting on wood better than canvas too. And um, it just, I don't know, I just like the natural feel of it. But um, what I find interesting too is that um I like how you kind of just throw it on the on, you know, throw it on the masonite and then let it come together. Uh-huh. As opposed to like the, I don't know if this is gonna make sense. The other way around, how I would think, okay, I'm gonna try to do orchids. I'm gonna look at that orchid, I'm gonna try to. I can't do it that way, but I could maybe try to do it your way because it's more intuitive. Yeah. And it's more like the I don't know how to explain it. Like, yeah, letting filling out the art piece that way.

Speaker 1 45:34

Yeah. I'll send you a copy of the picture, and if you find a way to put it in the podcast, you can do that. Oh, yeah. The same thing with Joe. I'll send you Mother and Joe. Please do. Yeah, I would love to put that in.

Speaker 45:47

Well, tell us a little bit. This is a this is something about your piano playing. Tell us a little bit about playing at the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 45:53

Oh, yes, right. People can search for this. It is Super Bowl 1988 halftime show, and it was in San Diego. The idea was that it was 1988. There are 88 keys on a piano, and so they had 88 pianos on the field. We each our piano was on a little wagon and a tractor pulled us out onto the field. And there were 44 white pianos with people in black tuxes playing, and 44 white pianos with people in black tuxes playing. Did I say that right? Anyway, black and white opposite. Oh, that's yeah. So we rehearsed out at San Diego State. They had a band from uh San Diego State and USC. So they had all those folks marching. We had Chubby Checker singing a song, we had some uh aerobics people doing dances. I had a cheerleader on top of my piano. Um yeah. So it was really fun. We started off with the Greg A minor concerto, which starts at the top of the piano and goes bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And then from that we went into a glissando and a boogie and uh Gershwin. The same thing all together. Everybody playing the same thing. Wow. It was fabulous. And at the end of it, we all just looked at each other and went, oh my god, can we do that again? Seriously. It was so fun.

Speaker 47:24

Yeah, the energy. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 47:26

Yeah.

Speaker 2 47:27

What a neat experience.

Speaker 1 47:28

Yeah. So it's on YouTube. Um, it's on in Spanish and in English, and people can search for it if they want to watch it. It's a great show.

Speaker 2 47:36

Um I might, I might throw in a clip of that too if I can. Yeah.

Speaker 1 47:41

Oh, and the Rockettes were there. That was the fun. Another fun part is the Roquettes were there. Yeah. So I had a Roquette dancing in front of my piano and a cheerleader on top.

unknown 47:52

Nice.

Speaker 2 47:53

So exciting. Oh, it was.

Speaker 1 47:55

How fun, like just how neat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 47:57

Like place, right time.

Speaker 1 47:59

And you know when I saw the sign go up at San Diego State for the auditions, and Radio City Music Hall produced this, and they sent a producer to audition us. And I thought, I'm not gonna do that. And then I thought, you know what? I may lose all of my vision someday and not be able, I could still see to read music, but I knew I had the eye disease. And then I thought, I do not want to be a hundred years old in my rocking chair thinking, gosh, I wish I had done that.

Speaker 3 48:30

Yeah.

Speaker 1 48:32

You know, and that motivates me to do a lot of stuff. I do not want to have any more regrets than I have to. And art is scary, and I could have a lot of regrets if I don't at least try something. And I'm a chicken, I really am, but I push myself to try something so I don't have those regrets.

Speaker 2 48:54

I I love that. So on that note, what are some of the things that you that you do to help push yourself, like to get through those? I mean, I you know, and that's putting you on the spot, but can you, you know, for people that struggle with that, like myself.

Speaker 1 49:08

Well, I mean, one of the things is um I might as well try. The worst thing they can say is no. And I've learned that I have to be in a really good place psychologically to hear no. So if I can't hear no, I don't go. I wait until I'm in a spot where I can hear no. The other thing is, like I said, visualizing myself as an older old lady, not wanting to have regrets, not wanting to wish I had done things. And um I have a pretty darn good support system now. And so if I tell people this is what I'm thinking about doing, and I think it's crazy, almost everybody will say, Yeah, it might be crazy, but go ahead, try it. We'll back you up, you know, we'll we'll come watch, we'll be there, whatever. So yeah, I just I just force myself, really. I do. I try to be in as good a mental and physical condition as possible when I force myself, but I just I don't know anybody who goes skipping into these projects and go, oh my gosh, how much fun is this gonna be? It's so true. We're terrified most of the time. I love that.

Speaker 2 50:29

Nobody goes skipping in.

Speaker 50:31

It's so true. I like the idea that you talk about the support too, because I when I met you, Brita, I was not doing any of my art.

Speaker 1 50:39

I know you weren't. I couldn't believe it. Really?

Speaker 50:41

No, I was like really like in a bad spot, and I was really in a lot of grief. My aunt had just died, who you know was your second aunt had just died. Yeah, and they were young, like, well, you know, 50 or um, she was 59 and died of a rare liver disease, and then her older sister died too just these really odd where rare diseases, and um I was just so um, and what I really kind of saw in them, I guess, was that they were lit, they had given up. Like my aunt that died of the rare disease was a songwriter. She was a singer, and I remember being eight years old, and she wrote a song for her best friend's wedding. And I had been I had gone to the wedding with her because she actually took care of me all the time. My parents were kind of gone a lot, so I was with my aunt a lot, and um, she sang in front of all these people her own song that she wrote for them, and I was so awestruck by it, and then she gave it up. She she kind of she lost herself, she lost that part of herself for a long time. And I think when I met you, Breed, this is where okay, this is an important thing that has happened to me all my life. When I am ready, the mentor or the teacher shows up, and it is my job to say, okay, welcome in. And you were one of those for me, Brida, because I was like in a very, very dark space when she died. It was very hard.

Speaker 1 52:16

I know.

Speaker 52:18

I still cry when I think about it. Yeah, and I needed art and music so bad, and I could not do it.

Speaker 1 52:25

I know, you just could not access it right now.

Speaker 52:28

I couldn't, and we started talking, and I was so amazed that because she's like this art, you know, and I'd be like, oh, and I was more focused on the secret family problem family stuff, right? Not the art part.

Speaker 1 52:42

Christy is my book distributor. If you need a book, Christy almost always buys a video.

Speaker 52:47

So it helped me so much, and my son was younger, like we were really, you know, I had to reparent myself, and I had to like learn how to parent him in a different way at the same time. And Brita really helped me with that. And then it was like, once I kind of got my bearings with that, um, I could like open up to art, and she would like that's where the support part has been so helpful because when I'm scared, I call her. You know, and then we walk through it and she's like, it's okay, go ahead. You know, it's right, yeah, or maybe it's not okay right now. Maybe this is not the time. Yeah, we do that too. And I'm like, okay, you know, I can wait. Um, and I just appreciate you so much because I think that support is so important. And I know Chelsea and I do that with each other. Like you taught me how to do that with right. And so, you know, Chelsea and I met in these coffees that we were doing, and and then clicked, and now we do this, and we definitely do that too. We call like so our support system has grown.

Speaker 2 53:52

And you know, yeah, it's so important. Yeah, and I get to experience some of the things that Christy has learned from you. So thank you, Brida, because I get to experience some of that too.

Speaker 1 54:01

So you're welcome. And I mean, Christy, you have just been an inspiration. I love watching you grow, and it just makes me think, okay, I need to get back to my painting or I need to get over to that piano bench. And um, besides the podcast, Chelsea, you really poked me a while ago when you talked about your novel because I've had one in my head for I don't know how long. Yeah. And several friends and I have started at different times writing our novels, and we never get very far with it, and we just dissolve into talking. And but I'm gonna I'm gonna try this again because I've got a great one. It's a family saga, and um, I had it in my head that I needed to wait until my dad died, but he is not gonna die, he's gonna live forever. So I, you know, I'm almost 75 and he's still alive, he's 96, I think. Wow, so yeah. So yeah, do it.

Speaker 2 54:59

And if you want to in this uh this class that my friend's doing, I'll I'll throw a little um you know plug out there for her. Like okay, it's so great because it's a just a small online, you know, it's all through um internet. And and right now it's my best friend, and then this other gal that I happen to meet, such a cool story of how we met. Um and and she's in the class. So it's just a small collaborative, you know, not a collaborative, like our uh my friend, you know, she's got her um degree in you know creative writing and and in, you know, in education and stuff. And um, so it's just neat. And this is let's see, this coming Monday will be the third, the third week. Um you know how like I and I don't know if you guys do this, I get a little skeptical, you know, if my friend's gonna teach me something, I don't I don't mean to get skeptical, but I'm like, oh well I know them. I've how do I not, you know, I probably know everything already that they're gonna teach because I know them. You know, I what wouldn't I have learned that along the way in my friendship? Blew me out of the water, like totally different environment. So I I encourage that, you know, for our listeners, anybody, if you have people that in your life that do things like that or whatever they are, give them the benefit of the doubt. Like you they have a totally different environment, anyways. But it's a really neat group because like on Mondays, um, and and that's what we do right now. The schedule obviously can change, but right you know, we get together, she teaches for about an hour and a half, slash there's like you know, free writing in there and things. Um and and then two more times during the week, we do a dedicated, we all get online, but then we mute ourselves and we write. Right. You know, and basic, basically the idea of like morning pages where you're you're not picking up the pen, but you have whatever it is you're working on. Right. And we sit there and we're we're together. We don't really talk about it. We come together at the end and talk, you know, for like 15, 20 minutes. Um but it's such a neat experience, anyways. That just made me think of it. So I'll, you know, shameless plug for that. But yeah, yeah, we'll put a link to it if she's taking new people. Yeah, I totally will. Yeah, um, but yeah, that's that's so neat. You do it, do it, Brita. You've got an amazing story. I I guarantee it. Um how cool is that? And going back to when Christy and I first very first started this podcast, one of the first things we talked about was community and collaboration to whatever level that may be, you know. So I love that it almost always comes back to that of like, even if you're doing your art on your own, you need that community, you need that, you know, people behind you to back you up, you know, to push you, to kick you in the butt when it's like I know I need to do like my girlfriends, my very best girlfriends. If I bring something to them and I'm like, I think I need to do this, they don't even question. They're like, if you think you need to do it, then you need to do it and you're gonna do it, you know, in a very loving way. But I'm like, but it gives me the courage, that kind of that final boost of courage to overcome my obstacles. You know, I deal with a ton of insecurity even now. Like I feel so much more secure in who I am, but I still deal with the insecurity with art. I think it will always be there. It's just a natural part of it. I think that's well, it's so vulnerable.

Speaker 1 58:12

It's so vulnerable. So we are putting that open, vulnerable part of ourselves out there for everybody to see, and you can't fake it. Oh, people know if you're faking it.

Speaker 2 58:22

Oh, 100%. Yeah. I I can't stand that's one of those things for me that like, oh, it's it's intense when I know somebody's faking something, like it's even more difficult for me than maybe some other people to deal with that. But I think because of my own, you know, problems when I've been, you know, inauthentic or you know, trying to trying to fake it, not trying, you know, but trying to impress somebody or whatever, you know. So I pick up on it real fast.

Speaker 1 58:51

I did, I did a really bad one the other day, and I've got to figure out how to make amends for it. I was in a 12-step meeting on Zoom, and this person shared some things that just made my skin crawl. And I've listened to people preach at these meetings before, and I do not like it. And so at the end, everybody's going, thank you, thank you, thank you. And I thought under my breath, I said, Oh, thank you, in a really sarcastic tone of voice. And somebody said they caught it. So I'm gonna have to figure out how to make an amends for that. But it's like, shoot.

Speaker 2 59:28

Like, damn it. Yeah. Honestly, you know, maybe maybe that was okay.

Speaker 1 59:34

Uh you know, like in some way, we don't allow crosstalk. So anything that comes across as judgmental, um, I should not have done that. Oh, okay. Well, that's fair.

unknown 59:45

Yeah.

Speaker 1 59:46

Yeah. And I get to role model for people that, you know, I've been at this 40 years and I still make mistakes and I still have to come back and make amends. And I hate making amends. Right. I know.

Speaker 2 59:59

Yeah, it's so hard. It's like you know you need to, and it kind of feels good afterwards because you know, like, okay, I did the right thing. But getting to that point where you're like, I don't want to say this.

Speaker 1 1:00:09

Well, and it keeps me from saying a lot of stuff I shouldn't say, because you know, a little voice goes, You're gonna have to make amends if you open your mouth.

Speaker 1:00:18

But self-reflection, yeah, self-reflection like that is so important to be authentic. Yes, because if you don't know how to self-reflect or and and make amends, you it is impossible to be authentic. You are just operating in a role, in my opinion. You know, or like um, or in secrets or like you know, in a mask, you know. So in you know, when when it applies to like art and writing, you know, and being authentic, yeah, you have to know how to self-reflect. Yeah, that and that's something I wish was more. I mean, they do do it, they teach it quite a bit in elementary school here in California.

Speaker 1 1:00:59

Yeah, in California they do. Every place else, well, not every place else, but a lot of other places, the parents get really upset and think that kids are being taught an alternate religion or a philosophy that doesn't go with the parents. And I just I don't understand how they get there, but I think they're afraid of something they don't know.

Speaker 1:01:22

Yeah. Well, here too, there's a lot of it, it's a lot of it is achievement-based. So, like what I watched, and which is not authentic to children and and young adults, is that, and it's been going on, I think it really took a turn. Like in when I started teaching in 2000, it's when it really took a turn away from, and this is where like creativity was kind of pulled out of education and nationally, and um and we had the no child left behind and this achievement. The and the underlying thing, and I don't think people under know this because this is unless you're in education, you might know this, but um at the time in 2000, we as a uh as United States started to really become concerned that we were going to be um beat out by China and India. Right. And that we were losing our status or our top you know ranking in. Right. Everything had to shift to STEM science, technology, engineering, and math. And and and everyone had to be reading, and they started comparing the United States to China and India. Yeah. And the thing that that never is said in that comparison is that in the United States, legally, every child in the United States has a legal right to education, no matter your your economic status.

Speaker 1 1:02:49

Right.

Speaker 1:02:50

In India and China, that is not the case. Right. So we are comparing we were comparing apples to oranges, really. Yeah. So we're taking like the entire all these test scores from the United States kids and comparing them to the test scores of the kids who in China who are only allowed to go to school.

Speaker 1 1:03:08

Right. And they are chosen specifically for certain reasons.

Speaker 1:03:12

And same for in India. It does not, not every child in India goes to school. So wow. We yeah, it's like comparing apples and oranges, but people don't think about it that way. We don't we don't really realize that like all of our test scores. So then it becomes this like we got into this real race of having to be the highest achievers, having to your kids to be the best, and um yeah, you sign your kids up for preschool and private school before they're even born. Yeah. And and it's but it wasn't there what's and the creativity got kind of sucked out of absolutely education. And um, well, there's so many studies, and I think I've talked about this almost on every podcast because it's you know, like that we do, Chelsea. But yeah, there's so many, there's so many studies that show that when you have music and art, you do actually better in in math and sciences. Oh, totally. It's a way, you know, and but but they continue, we continue in education to try to compare, yeah, and achieve. And we have lost that personally. Like that now, it didn't work. It didn't work. And so, but you have all these kids, like as they get into adults, who then are living in this, like um, they've been trained, you've been trained how to live in education and not learned how to, you know, have that rounded education. Like you had to really pick schools, right? And specialize. Yeah. If you wanted your kid to get a fully rounded education, which in my opinion is music, art, you know, literature, yeah, history. It's the liberal arts, what we usually call liberal arts. Yeah. Well, I'm a liberal liberal arts major, so maybe that's why I'm so into that.

Speaker 2 1:04:59

But yeah, there's a there's a high school down here that that, oh my gosh, I would have killed to be in this high school when I was going to school, you know, and it's it's just phenomenal because it's got that rounded, you know, and it and but it gives the freedom for the kids to express themselves. And you know, it's just I my my um my niece, my uh uh best friend's daughter goes there. And it's so neat to see her flourish. It's not an easy school, you know. They still expect, you know, uh a lot from their students, but it's just neat to see her get to try these different things and there's freedom there. I'm just like, man, what what might that have how much how might that have changed my life? You know, brought me into my art sooner had I been able to go to a place like that, you know. And I think that's what gets me excited about maybe someday being able to use this podcast to help even even one student, you know. But I like I just keep feeling this percolating underneath it. I'm like, there's something I'm supposed to be doing someday to help other, you know, to help students be able to express and experience art in a way that we just don't have in the schools anymore for the most part, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1:06:13

Yeah. I did a songwriting course at the middle school for a while. They have like a, you know, some of the schools will do like after school, you know, for like a class, like a seventh period or whatever. And instead of the kids going to like in middle school, they they're too big to go to like the YMCA or whatever. So they would offer all of these extra, you know, that's when you would get your art or music. So I offered there was jazz band that was going on, and then that I would offer the songwriting. So the kids that really wanted to learn how to be songwriters came to me, and then some of them would do the jazz band first and like learn some of their instrument, which was great, and then they'd come to me. And it was really, it really was a cool thing. It was a lot of work because um it was just a lot of work to get a coordinated and have to get insurance. Like there's all this stuff that goes on, but I could tell you that we didn't have all this Zoom stuff anymore. So at the time, right? So that could be like something to think about, Chelsea, if you wanted to do like a songwriting course for you know, high schoolers, you know, or middle school or high school, and um, you know, teach what we've what you've been taught, you know, as far as how to be a songwriter. Because they really, there's so much that goes into songwriting that you don't realize. You know, my kids would compare, my students would compare themselves to the final production of, you know, whoever it was that they were in love with, you know, at the time, Taylor Swift, Maroon File, you know, Adele or whoever it was. And I'd be like, okay, guys, there are so much, there's so much production in this, you know. And so we talked a lot about what it's like when you first write the song and what how it's what it's gonna sound like versus what it looks like when the song is fully produced. Right. You know, which is very, very misleading to our youth. When even more so with like all the production stuff that's not real instruments, right?

Speaker 1 1:08:14

And yes, getting more and more AI driven too. So use that.

Speaker 2 1:08:18

Yeah. Yeah. Which, you know, Brita, I may need to um, I may need to ask you to be my mentor because I I no, I I I I deal with I even as I'm thinking about that, I'm like, I'm dealing with imposter syndrome where I'm like, Oh yeah, oh I can't teach. I don't have any, I mean, I have a couple songs on Spotify, big deal. Anybody can technically anybody can get on Spotify, you know, and I'm like, yeah, what do I actually have to offer? And I'm like fighting it, even as those are coming my head. I'm like, you know what? There's somebody out there somewhere that needs your help, right? That can benefit from what you have to offer, even if it's not, you know, all the children in the world or all the adults in the world, like there's somebody out there, you know. And if my and if I'm that passionate about it, I need to do something about it.

Speaker 1:09:04

Right.

Speaker 2 1:09:04

So yeah, my friend, I agree.

Speaker 1:09:07

Yeah. My friend who's also a writer, who introduced me in Drew, actually. So he's one of Drew's friends as well, too. Um, he and I always joke about this thing, like, if one person, your Eskimo out there, it's your Eskimo like like is moved by your piece, you've done your job. Like, you know, it's like because we also are fed this belief that we have to have like mil, we're not we're not anything unless we're successful in this way that our culture deems successful. And I don't see that as successful anymore.

Speaker 2 1:09:41

Yes, yeah, yes, yeah. On that note, Breda, what is because uh because I feel like looking at your life and and hearing your story, I feel like you've got success all over the place. And it may not necessarily be what you know, like what Christy was saying, like it may not be what the world says is success, but you also have that too. You've sold painting, you have a book, you have bought it.

Speaker 1:10:03

Yeah, she played in the Super Bowl. I mean, you don't play in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 1:10:08

Yeah, what I mean, and I'm I'm not sure what the question is there, but I just success for you. Is it what you thought it would be? And if and you know, or or any other thoughts on that, like what you're you know, what you've done.

Speaker 1 1:10:23

Well, I'm not world famous, but I've been on lots of radio shows. I don't think I've ever been on a television show, maybe once, yeah, local, local in San Diego about my book, about my book. And um I don't know what to say, except success comes in all kinds of levels, you know, and part of it is I have to be happy with what I do and produce and put out there. And then if anybody likes it, to me that's a success, you know. And like I say, I I'm not world famous, I'm not even state famous, you know, but I think I have something to offer and so I put it out there.

Speaker 2 1:11:15

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Um on that note, is there anything else that you want to share with people about yourself, about your art? You know, as we kind of wrap up, I mean anything that hits you and take your time.

Speaker 1 1:11:30

Okay, I'm trying to think. Something crossed my mind a minute ago, but that's what things do these days.

Speaker 2 1:11:36

Oh, I know, that's why I have to write this down.

Speaker 1 1:11:39

I know. Um, gosh.

Speaker 2 1:11:41

Yeah, take your time. I mean, yeah, ponder.

Speaker 1 1:11:47

One of the things that I have really loved is watching my kids try things and now my grandkids. And that has been so much fun to just encourage them. I do play devil's advocate once in a while, you know. One of them had a toddler and he came to me and said, you know, I think I'm gonna buy a motorcycle. And, you know, to be able to say, I'm not sure that's the best idea till this kid is grown.

Speaker 3 1:12:15

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:12:16

And then to say, it's your decision, you know, it's my vote. That's all I have is one vote.

Speaker 3 1:12:20

Right.

Speaker 1 1:12:21

But when they want to change careers or start a project that is completely foreign, I have a kid who skydives and he competes at the international level. And the first time he jumped solo, he called me and he said, I just wanted to let you know that I'm getting on the plane and I'm going up for my first solo jump. I said, Okay, great. Call me when you get down. And I'm just shaking. Oh, I'm not in the middle of Ross. It's a Tuesday, and I love to shop at Ross on Tuesday because seniors get 10% off.

Speaker 4 1:12:55

Okay.

Speaker 1 1:12:55

And I'm just standing there shaking, going, What in the hell am I gonna do? I just wanted to break down and cry. And then I thought, wait a minute, I'm doing something I love. Yeah, I'm shopping at Ross on a Tuesday to get my discount. And my son is doing something he loves, skydiving. And I can't ask for any more for him than that, that he gets to do something he loves while I do something I love.

Speaker 3 1:13:25

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:13:26

And he got down, he was fine, you know, he's got hundreds of jumps now, and he's actually a skydiving photographer, and he photographs other people when yeah, they're competing and whatever. So, you know, just being able to validate other people, yeah, and to not always say, I mean, I remember going to my dad with an idea for a business when I was eight. And he basically said, I don't know who you think you are.

Speaker 2 1:13:55

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 1:13:56

You know, that is the silliest idea. I think you probably said stupidest um that I've ever heard. And you know, when you get to be a grown-up, we'll talk, or something like that. And I mean, I was in that era from the 50s raised to be a wife and mom.

Speaker 3 1:14:13

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:14:14

And I was supposed to teach piano lessons. That's what they thought I could do with my piano.

Speaker 3 1:14:20

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:14:20

I could teach lessons to other little kids.

Speaker 3 1:14:23

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:14:23

And I've done that, and it's a lot of fun. A lot of fun. Yeah. So just the way that I can pass it on to the people in my life, I think has been one of the most important things. And it's actually Eric Erickson's final stage of life development, which is bitterness versus generativity.

Speaker 2 1:14:47

I remember that in psychology classes.

Speaker 1 1:14:49

If we do what we want to do in our lives, what gives us joy, we become generative. We want to give back. If we don't, we become bitter. And I was in a conversation with a bunch of family people not too many years ago. And one of them was trying to get me to do something that I didn't want to do with another family member. And they said, you know, you're going to end up a bitter old woman. And one of the other people at the table spoke up and said, Trust me, she is the least bitter person I know. I love that. Yes. So that's that's my goal is to continue being generative.

Speaker 1:15:33

I love that. Well, that's success. I mean, that is that's success. You know, that's success.

Speaker 2 1:15:40

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I love that so much, Brita. And I know we could, I I I feel like we're we could talk forever, you guys. I was gonna say, I feel like we should have you back on uh again in the in the near future. I think I'd love to whatever you need. Yeah. Uh so I you know, I think that's that's an amazing um bit for this this episode. Yes. Um but yes, we need to have you back on because I love chatting with you. Um so thank you so much for joining us, Brita.

Speaker 1:16:10

Yes, thank you. And you can get all of her, you we'll post her Instagram. Um, we'll post the Loving Parent podcast, we'll post the um the uh No More Elections podcast link, her absolute arts um so her arts are used to be. So we'll post a lot of this so you can look at that and um reach out to Brita too if you want through Instagram. And yeah, again, like please like the you know the creative download podcast. Yes, like and subscribe. Please like and subscribe.

Speaker 2 1:16:45

Yes, yeah. Um yeah, thank you guys so much. Um to our listeners, we just we love we love that you join us. Um please feel free to reach out, you know, like like Christy was saying earlier through Instagram, you know, send us a DM or um you know, whatever. And and if you guys have things you want to hear about or maybe other artists that you want us to interview, like shoot us that info too, because we're always looking for you know other artists to to talk to. And um, yeah, so again, thanks so much, Brita, for for being on here. Thank you for having me. I enjoyed every minute. Yay! Well, and we'll see you on again soon. All right, well, take care, everyone. Bye. Thanks so much for listening to the creative download, hosted and produced by Christy Bruneau and Chelsea Lee, edited by Chelsea Lee.