{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":1.2,"endTime":4.41,"body":"Welcome to Real World Peaceful"},{"startTime":1.2,"endTime":4.41,"body":"Parenting, a podcast for parents"},{"startTime":4.41,"endTime":7.08,"body":"that are tired of yelling,"},{"startTime":4.41,"endTime":7.08,"body":"threatening, and punishing their kids."},{"startTime":7.62,"endTime":11.73,"body":"Join mom and master certified parent"},{"startTime":7.62,"endTime":11.73,"body":"coach Lisa Smith as she gives you"},{"startTime":11.73,"endTime":15.15,"body":"actionable step-by-step strategies"},{"startTime":11.73,"endTime":15.15,"body":"that'll help you transform your"},{"startTime":15.15,"endTime":17.4,"body":"household from chaos to cooperation."},{"startTime":17.82,"endTime":18.36,"body":"Let's dive in."},{"startTime":22.44,"endTime":26.4,"body":"Welcome, welcome, welcome,"},{"startTime":22.44,"endTime":26.4,"body":"welcome to today's episode."},{"startTime":27.27,"endTime":28.74,"body":"I am so excited."},{"startTime":29.13,"endTime":30.15,"body":"To be with you today."},{"startTime":30.66,"endTime":34.29,"body":"And can I just say"},{"startTime":30.66,"endTime":34.29,"body":"something before we dive in?"},{"startTime":34.86,"endTime":39.24,"body":"If you listen to the last episode,"},{"startTime":34.86,"endTime":39.24,"body":"my conversation with Carl from"},{"startTime":39.24,"endTime":41.01,"body":"Bright Canary, welcome back."},{"startTime":41.91,"endTime":46.98,"body":"That conversation got me totally fired"},{"startTime":41.91,"endTime":46.98,"body":"up because everything Carl and I talked"},{"startTime":46.98,"endTime":49.65,"body":"about led me straight to today's topic."},{"startTime":50.31,"endTime":54.39,"body":"And if you haven't heard that episode"},{"startTime":50.31,"endTime":54.39,"body":"yet, I recommend you go back and listen."},{"startTime":54.81,"endTime":59.64,"body":"It's definitely worth your time and"},{"startTime":54.81,"endTime":59.64,"body":"you can listen after today's episode."},{"startTime":60.54,"endTime":62.61,"body":"But today, today we're coming home."},{"startTime":63.39,"endTime":67.8,"body":"Today we're getting out of the big picture"},{"startTime":63.39,"endTime":67.8,"body":"and into the trenches in your living room,"},{"startTime":67.95,"endTime":73.14,"body":"in your kitchen, in your car, into the"},{"startTime":67.95,"endTime":73.14,"body":"real everyday moments that are driving"},{"startTime":73.14,"endTime":75.72,"body":"parents absolutely crazy right now."},{"startTime":76.29,"endTime":76.83,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":77.13,"endTime":80.4,"body":"Today we're gonna talk about"},{"startTime":77.13,"endTime":80.4,"body":"screens and specifically."},{"startTime":81.195,"endTime":84.554,"body":"Why it is so hard for our"},{"startTime":81.195,"endTime":84.554,"body":"kids to stop watching."},{"startTime":84.765,"endTime":85.785,"body":"Stop scrolling."},{"startTime":85.964,"endTime":86.895,"body":"Stop playing."},{"startTime":87.524,"endTime":91.425,"body":"Why it's time to turn it off has"},{"startTime":87.524,"endTime":91.425,"body":"become one of the most dreadful"},{"startTime":91.425,"endTime":93.315,"body":"sentences in family life."},{"startTime":93.765,"endTime":97.725,"body":"And most importantly, what is"},{"startTime":93.765,"endTime":97.725,"body":"actually going on inside your"},{"startTime":97.725,"endTime":99.764,"body":"child's brain when you say it?"},{"startTime":100.485,"endTime":103.604,"body":"And here's what I want you to"},{"startTime":100.485,"endTime":103.604,"body":"hear before we go any further."},{"startTime":104.175,"endTime":107.625,"body":"Your kid is not addicted."},{"startTime":108.165,"endTime":109.035,"body":"To laziness."},{"startTime":109.965,"endTime":112.635,"body":"They are not choosing a screen over you."},{"startTime":113.175,"endTime":115.725,"body":"And this is not a willpower problem."},{"startTime":116.385,"endTime":117.405,"body":"It's a brain problem."},{"startTime":118.125,"endTime":123.525,"body":"And once you understand what's actually"},{"startTime":118.125,"endTime":123.525,"body":"happening in there, everything changes."},{"startTime":124.185,"endTime":124.965,"body":"So let's go."},{"startTime":125.475,"endTime":125.865,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":126.525,"endTime":126.915,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":127.455,"endTime":129.585,"body":"I want you to picture a regular afternoon."},{"startTime":130.125,"endTime":132.165,"body":"Your kid has been on a device for a while."},{"startTime":132.945,"endTime":136.605,"body":"Maybe it's a show they love, maybe"},{"startTime":132.945,"endTime":136.605,"body":"it's a game they're deep into."},{"startTime":137.174,"endTime":142.545,"body":"Maybe it's an endless scroll of short"},{"startTime":137.174,"endTime":142.545,"body":"videos where just one bleeds into the"},{"startTime":142.545,"endTime":149.924,"body":"next, and they're quiet, they're content,"},{"startTime":142.545,"endTime":149.924,"body":"and honestly, part of you is grateful"},{"startTime":150.135,"endTime":152.834,"body":"for the half an hour of peace, right?"},{"startTime":153.915,"endTime":157.065,"body":"You're picturing this, I'm"},{"startTime":153.915,"endTime":157.065,"body":"sure it happens in your home"},{"startTime":157.215,"endTime":160.095,"body":"regularly, but then dun, dun dun."},{"startTime":160.755,"endTime":161.475,"body":"It's time."},{"startTime":162.375,"endTime":163.095,"body":"It's time."},{"startTime":163.635,"endTime":165.105,"body":"And you give the five minute warning."},{"startTime":166.484,"endTime":170.745,"body":"You calmly say five more minutes"},{"startTime":166.484,"endTime":170.745,"body":"and then it's time to turn"},{"startTime":170.745,"endTime":172.815,"body":"it off and you get nothing."},{"startTime":173.774,"endTime":180.315,"body":"So five minutes pass and you say it"},{"startTime":173.774,"endTime":180.315,"body":"again, and then they say, just one sec."},{"startTime":181.635,"endTime":183.765,"body":"And you say, no, it's time."},{"startTime":184.424,"endTime":186.644,"body":"And then it erupts."},{"startTime":187.364,"endTime":191.655,"body":"And you know, this is one of those,"},{"startTime":187.364,"endTime":191.655,"body":"if you know, you know, you know"},{"startTime":191.655,"endTime":194.325,"body":"what it erupts looks like right."},{"startTime":195.12,"endTime":198.24,"body":"Crying, screaming, running away."},{"startTime":198.27,"endTime":200.34,"body":"You always do this, ignoring you."},{"startTime":200.88,"endTime":205.86,"body":"Maybe the device gets thrown or they"},{"startTime":200.88,"endTime":205.86,"body":"go limp, or they stop down the hallway"},{"startTime":205.86,"endTime":211.08,"body":"and slam the door, and you're standing"},{"startTime":205.86,"endTime":211.08,"body":"there thinking, what just happened?"},{"startTime":211.71,"endTime":212.61,"body":"It's a screen."},{"startTime":213.12,"endTime":214.5,"body":"I gave them plenty of time."},{"startTime":214.8,"endTime":215.67,"body":"I warned them."},{"startTime":215.82,"endTime":217.44,"body":"We talked about this before."},{"startTime":217.68,"endTime":219.9,"body":"Why is this so hard?"},{"startTime":221.16,"endTime":221.61,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":222.21,"endTime":222.48,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":223.32,"endTime":225.39,"body":"Here's what most parents"},{"startTime":223.32,"endTime":225.39,"body":"do in that moment."},{"startTime":226.109,"endTime":227.579,"body":"They think one of two things."},{"startTime":227.91,"endTime":234.09,"body":"Either my kid must be addicted and"},{"startTime":227.91,"endTime":234.09,"body":"you spiral into guilt and worry."},{"startTime":234.69,"endTime":237.42,"body":"Or you think this is manipulation."},{"startTime":237.87,"endTime":241.709,"body":"They just want what they want, and"},{"startTime":237.87,"endTime":241.709,"body":"you double down on the consequences."},{"startTime":242.549,"endTime":244.38,"body":"Now here's what's going on."},{"startTime":244.44,"endTime":249.6,"body":"Both of these thoughts miss on what's"},{"startTime":244.44,"endTime":249.6,"body":"actually happening, and today I wanna"},{"startTime":249.6,"endTime":251.97,"body":"share with you what's really going on."},{"startTime":252.63,"endTime":253.26,"body":"Sound good?"},{"startTime":254.07,"endTime":254.49,"body":"Awesome."},{"startTime":255.33,"endTime":259.589,"body":"So here's the science, and I"},{"startTime":255.33,"endTime":259.589,"body":"promise this is going to make so"},{"startTime":259.589,"endTime":262.2,"body":"much click into place for you."},{"startTime":262.95,"endTime":267.96,"body":"So when your kid is watching, playing,"},{"startTime":262.95,"endTime":267.96,"body":"or scrolling, at almost any age,"},{"startTime":268.14,"endTime":270.06,"body":"their brain is releasing dopamine."},{"startTime":270.72,"endTime":275.19,"body":"And dopamine is that feel-good"},{"startTime":270.72,"endTime":275.19,"body":"chemical released in your brain."},{"startTime":275.22,"endTime":279.66,"body":"It's the one that drives pleasure,"},{"startTime":275.22,"endTime":279.66,"body":"motivation, and engagement."},{"startTime":280.5,"endTime":283.47,"body":"It's the same chemical that"},{"startTime":280.5,"endTime":283.47,"body":"makes us wanna check our phones."},{"startTime":283.77,"endTime":284.79,"body":"Finish a good book."},{"startTime":285.39,"endTime":286.62,"body":"Keep playing a game."},{"startTime":287.16,"endTime":289.68,"body":"Buy that shirt that"},{"startTime":287.16,"endTime":289.68,"body":"looks really good on us."},{"startTime":290.46,"endTime":293.13,"body":"That's dopamine and it's not bad."},{"startTime":293.67,"endTime":294.96,"body":"It's just brain chemistry."},{"startTime":295.71,"endTime":297.39,"body":"Now here's the aha moment."},{"startTime":297.84,"endTime":298.59,"body":"Screens."},{"startTime":298.95,"endTime":300.39,"body":"Oh my gosh, listen to me."},{"startTime":300.75,"endTime":303.48,"body":"Screens are dopamine machines."},{"startTime":304.26,"endTime":309.33,"body":"There is thousands of people"},{"startTime":304.26,"endTime":309.33,"body":"working in companies to trigger."},{"startTime":309.885,"endTime":313.155,"body":"This dopamine release over"},{"startTime":309.885,"endTime":313.155,"body":"and over and over again."},{"startTime":313.994,"endTime":317.684,"body":"The autoplay that starts the next video"},{"startTime":313.994,"endTime":317.684,"body":"before you've even decided you wanna"},{"startTime":317.684,"endTime":322.905,"body":"watch it, the infinite scroll that"},{"startTime":317.684,"endTime":322.905,"body":"never has a natural stopping point."},{"startTime":323.655,"endTime":329.955,"body":"The reward systems inside games that keep"},{"startTime":323.655,"endTime":329.955,"body":"you saying just five more minutes from the"},{"startTime":329.955,"endTime":332.565,"body":"next level, none of that is an accident."},{"startTime":333.044,"endTime":335.835,"body":"It is engineering designed."},{"startTime":336.87,"endTime":341.099,"body":"To trigger dopamine release"},{"startTime":336.87,"endTime":341.099,"body":"over and over and over again."},{"startTime":342.12,"endTime":345.42,"body":"From the company standpoint,"},{"startTime":342.12,"endTime":345.42,"body":"that's what it's meant to do."},{"startTime":345.42,"endTime":353.7,"body":"It's doing its job, the app, the"},{"startTime":345.42,"endTime":353.7,"body":"channel that supplies endless videos,"},{"startTime":353.76,"endTime":361.409,"body":"the social media that our kids join,"},{"startTime":353.76,"endTime":361.409,"body":"the gaming, it is designed through"},{"startTime":361.409,"endTime":364.71,"body":"engineering to trigger the user."},{"startTime":365.565,"endTime":371.025,"body":"At any age to have a dopamine"},{"startTime":365.565,"endTime":371.025,"body":"release over and over and over again."},{"startTime":371.924,"endTime":377.054,"body":"So what happens is your kid's brain"},{"startTime":371.924,"endTime":377.054,"body":"is flooded with dopamine while they're"},{"startTime":377.054,"endTime":383.534,"body":"watching or gaming or enjoying or"},{"startTime":377.054,"endTime":383.534,"body":"scrolling, and because their brain"},{"startTime":383.565,"endTime":390.525,"body":"is flooded with dopamine, everything"},{"startTime":383.565,"endTime":390.525,"body":"feels stimulating, engaging, rewarding."},{"startTime":391.604,"endTime":394.21,"body":"Their nervous system is"},{"startTime":391.604,"endTime":394.21,"body":"lit up with pleasure."},{"startTime":395.625,"endTime":400.695,"body":"Then you say, turn it off,"},{"startTime":395.625,"endTime":400.695,"body":"and the dopamine drops fast."},{"startTime":401.325,"endTime":406.425,"body":"The mere thought of the dopamine"},{"startTime":401.325,"endTime":406.425,"body":"going away causes panic."},{"startTime":407.505,"endTime":409.725,"body":"And here's the part I"},{"startTime":407.505,"endTime":409.725,"body":"really need you to hear."},{"startTime":410.655,"endTime":414.585,"body":"A kid's brain, which we've discussed"},{"startTime":410.655,"endTime":414.585,"body":"in many podcast episodes, is"},{"startTime":414.585,"endTime":416.745,"body":"not fully developed until 25."},{"startTime":417.225,"endTime":420.135,"body":"So a kid's brain, which"},{"startTime":417.225,"endTime":420.135,"body":"is still developing the"},{"startTime":420.135,"endTime":422.295,"body":"ability to regulate emotions."},{"startTime":423.3,"endTime":427.71,"body":"Still building the part of the brain"},{"startTime":423.3,"endTime":427.71,"body":"responsible for managing frustration"},{"startTime":427.71,"endTime":433.59,"body":"and disappointment registers even"},{"startTime":427.71,"endTime":433.59,"body":"the threat of the dopamine drop."},{"startTime":434.28,"endTime":440.04,"body":"It registers even the mere mention of it"},{"startTime":434.28,"endTime":440.04,"body":"as a threat, not a mild inconvenience,"},{"startTime":440.52,"endTime":443.97,"body":"a genuine nervous system level threat."},{"startTime":444.72,"endTime":449.19,"body":"And when there's a nervous"},{"startTime":444.72,"endTime":449.19,"body":"system level threat, fight or"},{"startTime":449.19,"endTime":451.86,"body":"flight, fawn or freeze kicks in."},{"startTime":452.64,"endTime":453.51,"body":"You following that?"},{"startTime":454.26,"endTime":457.89,"body":"Whenever the nervous system"},{"startTime":454.26,"endTime":457.89,"body":"registers a threat, this happens to"},{"startTime":457.89,"endTime":465.12,"body":"be a dopamine drop, as a threat, a"},{"startTime":457.89,"endTime":465.12,"body":"genuine nervous system level threat."},{"startTime":466.23,"endTime":470.85,"body":"Fight flight fawn or freeze kicks in"},{"startTime":466.23,"endTime":470.85,"body":"and guess who looks like the enemy?"},{"startTime":470.85,"endTime":477.12,"body":"Now you do because you're the one who"},{"startTime":470.85,"endTime":477.12,"body":"took away the thing that felt good."},{"startTime":477.69,"endTime":479.25,"body":"You become the threat."},{"startTime":480.03,"endTime":482.669,"body":"This is why the reaction"},{"startTime":480.03,"endTime":482.669,"body":"feels so completely out of"},{"startTime":482.669,"endTime":485.429,"body":"proportion to what just happened."},{"startTime":486.27,"endTime":487.62,"body":"It's not about the show."},{"startTime":488.429,"endTime":489.75,"body":"It's not about you."},{"startTime":490.56,"endTime":495.719,"body":"It's a nervous system in genuine"},{"startTime":490.56,"endTime":495.719,"body":"distress, doing exactly what nervous"},{"startTime":495.719,"endTime":498.09,"body":"systems do when they feel threatened."},{"startTime":498.81,"endTime":501.87,"body":"If you've been listening to this"},{"startTime":498.81,"endTime":501.87,"body":"podcast for a while, especially"},{"startTime":501.87,"endTime":506.969,"body":"episodes 2 74 and 2 75, you"},{"startTime":501.87,"endTime":506.969,"body":"already have the language for this."},{"startTime":507.51,"endTime":511.02,"body":"This is the tolerance tank that"},{"startTime":507.51,"endTime":511.02,"body":"we talked about in those episodes"},{"startTime":511.08,"endTime":512.789,"body":"hitting empty in real time."},{"startTime":513.39,"endTime":518.669,"body":"So what's happening is your kid has a"},{"startTime":513.39,"endTime":518.669,"body":"nervous system that just got hijacked."},{"startTime":519.39,"endTime":521.37,"body":"Your child is not manipulating you."},{"startTime":521.76,"endTime":525.42,"body":"They're almost"},{"startTime":521.76,"endTime":525.42,"body":"instantaneously disregulated."},{"startTime":526.05,"endTime":531.209,"body":"And if you can understand that and wrap"},{"startTime":526.05,"endTime":531.209,"body":"your brain around it and remember this"},{"startTime":531.839,"endTime":534.63,"body":"in the moment, it changes everything."},{"startTime":535.92,"endTime":537.03,"body":"About how we respond."},{"startTime":537.81,"endTime":538.2,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":538.74,"endTime":539.13,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":540.0,"endTime":543.54,"body":"Now I wanna talk about how we're"},{"startTime":540.0,"endTime":543.54,"body":"accidentally making it harder."},{"startTime":544.26,"endTime":547.41,"body":"I wanna talk about something that"},{"startTime":544.26,"endTime":547.41,"body":"might feel a little bit uncomfortable"},{"startTime":547.95,"endTime":552.66,"body":"because this part is about us, the"},{"startTime":547.95,"endTime":552.66,"body":"parents, a lot of us, and I mean a"},{"startTime":552.66,"endTime":557.04,"body":"lot, have at some point handed our"},{"startTime":552.66,"endTime":557.04,"body":"kid a device to help them calm down."},{"startTime":557.94,"endTime":560.85,"body":"Maybe your toddler was melting"},{"startTime":557.94,"endTime":560.85,"body":"down at a restaurant and you"},{"startTime":560.85,"endTime":561.845,"body":"pulled up a show on your phone."},{"startTime":562.844,"endTime":565.785,"body":"Maybe your 8-year-old had a"},{"startTime":562.844,"endTime":565.785,"body":"rough day at school and you let"},{"startTime":565.785,"endTime":567.135,"body":"them decompress with the game."},{"startTime":567.915,"endTime":571.305,"body":"Maybe it's just the thing you do on"},{"startTime":567.915,"endTime":571.305,"body":"long car rides or when you need to"},{"startTime":571.305,"endTime":575.114,"body":"make dinner or when there has been"},{"startTime":571.305,"endTime":575.114,"body":"a lot and you need 10 minutes of"},{"startTime":575.114,"endTime":578.864,"body":"quiet and let's call it what it is."},{"startTime":578.925,"endTime":580.035,"body":"It works beautifully."},{"startTime":580.574,"endTime":586.875,"body":"Screens are genuinely incredibly effective"},{"startTime":580.574,"endTime":586.875,"body":"at soothing big emotions in the moment."},{"startTime":587.474,"endTime":590.564,"body":"They're engaging, they're"},{"startTime":587.474,"endTime":590.564,"body":"predictable, they're distracting."},{"startTime":591.06,"endTime":592.8,"body":"They flood the brain with dopamine."},{"startTime":592.92,"endTime":597.03,"body":"Remember, that's feel-good chemical,"},{"startTime":592.92,"endTime":597.03,"body":"and suddenly the meltdown stops"},{"startTime":597.03,"endTime":598.26,"body":"and everyone can breathe again."},{"startTime":598.89,"endTime":602.22,"body":"There's actually a term for this,"},{"startTime":598.89,"endTime":602.22,"body":"it's called digital soothing."},{"startTime":602.97,"endTime":608.88,"body":"And listen, I promise you, I am not"},{"startTime":602.97,"endTime":608.88,"body":"here to shame you if you've used"},{"startTime":608.97,"endTime":611.73,"body":"digital soothing with your kid before."},{"startTime":715.24,"endTime":715.84,"body":"I've done it."},{"startTime":716.35,"endTime":720.97,"body":"Every parent I know has done it,"},{"startTime":716.35,"endTime":720.97,"body":"and we'll all probably do it again."},{"startTime":721.78,"endTime":725.17,"body":"Here's the problem, and I"},{"startTime":721.78,"endTime":725.17,"body":"really need you to hear this."},{"startTime":725.949,"endTime":731.709,"body":"When screens become the main way, the"},{"startTime":725.949,"endTime":731.709,"body":"main way a child learns to manage big"},{"startTime":731.709,"endTime":738.25,"body":"feelings, frustration, boredom, anxiety,"},{"startTime":731.709,"endTime":738.25,"body":"restlessness, uncomfortable feeling of"},{"startTime":738.25,"endTime":744.37,"body":"not knowing what to do with themselves,"},{"startTime":738.25,"endTime":744.37,"body":"they get fewer and fewer chances to build"},{"startTime":744.43,"endTime":747.699,"body":"any other soothes and regulation skills."},{"startTime":748.42,"endTime":749.035,"body":"Here's what happens."},{"startTime":749.725,"endTime":750.835,"body":"The brain is learning."},{"startTime":751.165,"endTime":755.725,"body":"When I feel bad, a screen makes"},{"startTime":751.165,"endTime":755.725,"body":"it better and it runs that pattern"},{"startTime":755.8149999999999,"endTime":758.035,"body":"over and over and over again."},{"startTime":758.965,"endTime":762.835,"body":"Not because your kid is weak or"},{"startTime":758.965,"endTime":762.835,"body":"lazy, because that's what brains do."},{"startTime":763.225,"endTime":765.385,"body":"They find what works"},{"startTime":763.225,"endTime":765.385,"body":"and they stick with it."},{"startTime":765.955,"endTime":771.145,"body":"I bet you drive to work or to school"},{"startTime":765.955,"endTime":771.145,"body":"drop off the same way every morning"},{"startTime":771.4449999999999,"endTime":775.495,"body":"without even really thinking about it,"},{"startTime":771.4449999999999,"endTime":775.495,"body":"even if there's multiple ways to go."},{"startTime":776.05,"endTime":780.699,"body":"Our brain loves to run patterns"},{"startTime":776.05,"endTime":780.699,"body":"over and over and over again."},{"startTime":781.39,"endTime":783.099,"body":"I brush my teeth every morning."},{"startTime":783.369,"endTime":786.459,"body":"As soon as I get up, I don't"},{"startTime":783.369,"endTime":786.459,"body":"even have to make the decision."},{"startTime":786.879,"endTime":789.76,"body":"I get up, I go to the bathroom,"},{"startTime":786.879,"endTime":789.76,"body":"I walk straight to the"},{"startTime":789.76,"endTime":791.229,"body":"sink, and I brush my teeth."},{"startTime":792.01,"endTime":794.109,"body":"That's a pattern my brain is running."},{"startTime":794.68,"endTime":800.739,"body":"The brain loves to be efficient,"},{"startTime":794.68,"endTime":800.739,"body":"so what happens is over time the"},{"startTime":800.739,"endTime":804.729,"body":"dependency deepens, it deepens."},{"startTime":805.615,"endTime":811.405,"body":"Not because of too much screen time in the"},{"startTime":805.615,"endTime":811.405,"body":"abstract, but because screens become the"},{"startTime":811.405,"endTime":817.015,"body":"primary tool in the emotional regulation"},{"startTime":811.405,"endTime":817.015,"body":"toolkit, and when the tool gets taken"},{"startTime":817.015,"endTime":819.5649999999999,"body":"away, there's nothing else in the toolkit."},{"startTime":820.525,"endTime":824.005,"body":"So I want you to sit with a question"},{"startTime":820.525,"endTime":824.005,"body":"for a second, and I want you to"},{"startTime":824.005,"endTime":828.5649999999999,"body":"ask yourself, when does your kid"},{"startTime":824.005,"endTime":828.5649999999999,"body":"reach for a screen at any age?"},{"startTime":829.465,"endTime":833.8149999999999,"body":"Is it when they're bored after a"},{"startTime":829.465,"endTime":833.8149999999999,"body":"hard day at school, when emotions"},{"startTime":833.8149999999999,"endTime":837.265,"body":"are running high, when they don't"},{"startTime":833.8149999999999,"endTime":837.265,"body":"know what to do with themselves?"},{"startTime":837.505,"endTime":838.285,"body":"Just notice it."},{"startTime":838.9449999999999,"endTime":840.115,"body":"You don't need to fix it today."},{"startTime":840.115,"endTime":844.975,"body":"Just notice the pattern, because noticing"},{"startTime":840.115,"endTime":844.975,"body":"is always where the change begins."},{"startTime":845.935,"endTime":847.465,"body":"Okay, practical time."},{"startTime":847.975,"endTime":850.1949999999999,"body":"Here's what you can actually"},{"startTime":847.975,"endTime":850.1949999999999,"body":"do starting this week."},{"startTime":850.795,"endTime":854.095,"body":"Move number one, the brain"},{"startTime":850.795,"endTime":854.095,"body":"aware transition warning."},{"startTime":855.01,"endTime":856.27,"body":"Here's what I know for sure."},{"startTime":856.6,"endTime":860.98,"body":"Five minutes is not always enough"},{"startTime":856.6,"endTime":860.98,"body":"runway, especially for younger"},{"startTime":860.98,"endTime":866.29,"body":"kids or kids who are deep in a game"},{"startTime":860.98,"endTime":866.29,"body":"or kids whose nervous systems are"},{"startTime":866.29,"endTime":868.93,"body":"particularly sensitive to transitions."},{"startTime":869.59,"endTime":874.81,"body":"And if you've been listening to this"},{"startTime":869.59,"endTime":874.81,"body":"podcast for a while, you probably know"},{"startTime":874.81,"endTime":877.72,"body":"exactly which kid in your house that is."},{"startTime":878.68,"endTime":880.84,"body":"So in this instance, their"},{"startTime":878.68,"endTime":880.84,"body":"brain needs more time."},{"startTime":881.935,"endTime":885.474,"body":"To start coming off the"},{"startTime":881.935,"endTime":885.474,"body":"dopamine before the drop hits."},{"startTime":886.104,"endTime":887.185,"body":"So give it more time."},{"startTime":887.905,"endTime":889.435,"body":"Try this 10 minutes out."},{"startTime":889.435,"endTime":893.035,"body":"You say In 10 minutes we're"},{"startTime":889.435,"endTime":893.035,"body":"turning off the screen."},{"startTime":893.425,"endTime":897.204,"body":"Find a good stopping point and then"},{"startTime":893.425,"endTime":897.204,"body":"ask 'em to repeat what you just said."},{"startTime":897.234,"endTime":900.084,"body":"So you know they heard"},{"startTime":897.234,"endTime":900.084,"body":"them at five minutes."},{"startTime":900.265,"endTime":904.045,"body":"You say five minutes, it's"},{"startTime":900.265,"endTime":904.045,"body":"almost time to wrap up."},{"startTime":904.555,"endTime":907.255,"body":"Then at two minutes, you"},{"startTime":904.555,"endTime":907.255,"body":"say, two more minutes."},{"startTime":907.525,"endTime":909.084,"body":"Start saying goodbye to thee."},{"startTime":909.699,"endTime":912.13,"body":"Game or show or app."},{"startTime":912.76,"endTime":918.76,"body":"And then when the time comes, you follow"},{"startTime":912.76,"endTime":918.76,"body":"through calmly without the speech, without"},{"startTime":918.76,"endTime":921.16,"body":"the negotiation, and with no anger."},{"startTime":921.61,"endTime":926.17,"body":"What you're doing when you follow this"},{"startTime":921.61,"endTime":926.17,"body":"is you're giving their nervous system"},{"startTime":926.23,"endTime":929.92,"body":"a soft landing instead of a cliff edge."},{"startTime":930.73,"endTime":935.949,"body":"More warning, more predictability,"},{"startTime":930.73,"endTime":935.949,"body":"more consistency, less crash."},{"startTime":936.91,"endTime":939.52,"body":"Less anger and dysregulation on your part."},{"startTime":940.15,"endTime":942.34,"body":"Now, does this guarantee no meltdown?"},{"startTime":942.49,"endTime":946.63,"body":"No, not always, but it makes smooth"},{"startTime":942.49,"endTime":946.63,"body":"landing significantly more likely."},{"startTime":947.35,"endTime":951.34,"body":"And over time, it teaches their"},{"startTime":947.35,"endTime":951.34,"body":"brain that the end is coming."},{"startTime":952.18,"endTime":957.01,"body":"It's not a surprise attack because again,"},{"startTime":952.18,"endTime":957.01,"body":"now you're helping their brain run a"},{"startTime":957.01,"endTime":959.59,"body":"pattern over and over and over again."},{"startTime":960.22,"endTime":965.325,"body":"So the more you do this, the more you"},{"startTime":960.22,"endTime":965.325,"body":"create the pattern of the soft landing."},{"startTime":966.055,"endTime":969.084,"body":"The more their brain will be"},{"startTime":966.055,"endTime":969.084,"body":"prepared to run that pattern."},{"startTime":969.5939999999999,"endTime":970.285,"body":"Make sense?"},{"startTime":971.0939999999999,"endTime":972.685,"body":"Okay, move."},{"startTime":972.685,"endTime":973.435,"body":"Number two."},{"startTime":973.494,"endTime":977.305,"body":"I want you to name what's"},{"startTime":973.494,"endTime":977.305,"body":"happening without judgment, so"},{"startTime":977.305,"endTime":981.504,"body":"when the meltdown starts, because"},{"startTime":977.305,"endTime":981.504,"body":"sometimes it will, even with great"},{"startTime":981.504,"endTime":984.145,"body":"transitions, here's what helps most."},{"startTime":984.864,"endTime":986.244,"body":"Don't fight the emotion."},{"startTime":986.395,"endTime":987.055,"body":"Name it."},{"startTime":988.165,"endTime":991.3149999999999,"body":"You could say, I know"},{"startTime":988.165,"endTime":991.3149999999999,"body":"that felt really sudden."},{"startTime":991.915,"endTime":994.734,"body":"Your brain was really into the game."},{"startTime":994.734,"endTime":995.454,"body":"The show."},{"startTime":995.8,"endTime":1000.36,"body":"The scrolling, the videos, your brain"},{"startTime":995.8,"endTime":1000.36,"body":"was really into that and stopping"},{"startTime":1000.36,"endTime":1002.3389999999999,"body":"his heart, that's all you say."},{"startTime":1002.55,"endTime":1003.06,"body":"That's it."},{"startTime":1003.63,"endTime":1006.66,"body":"You're not giving in, you're"},{"startTime":1003.63,"endTime":1006.66,"body":"not changing the boundary."},{"startTime":1007.11,"endTime":1008.76,"body":"You're not rewarding the meltdown."},{"startTime":1009.48,"endTime":1014.49,"body":"You're acknowledging the real biological"},{"startTime":1009.48,"endTime":1014.49,"body":"experience you're kid is having."},{"startTime":1015.39,"endTime":1016.079,"body":"You're naming it."},{"startTime":1016.3199999999999,"endTime":1017.3389999999999,"body":"You're acknowledging it."},{"startTime":1018.209,"endTime":1025.1100000000001,"body":"And a kid who feels genuinely understood"},{"startTime":1018.209,"endTime":1025.1100000000001,"body":"and connected deescalates so much faster."},{"startTime":1025.9650000000001,"endTime":1030.885,"body":"Than the one who feels judged, ignored,"},{"startTime":1025.9650000000001,"endTime":1030.885,"body":"or punished for having big feelings."},{"startTime":1031.545,"endTime":1033.285,"body":"This is the co-regulation piece."},{"startTime":1033.585,"endTime":1037.275,"body":"You've heard me talk about this"},{"startTime":1033.585,"endTime":1037.275,"body":"many, many, many times before."},{"startTime":1037.9950000000001,"endTime":1040.515,"body":"You are the steady nervous"},{"startTime":1037.9950000000001,"endTime":1040.515,"body":"system in the room."},{"startTime":1041.025,"endTime":1042.165,"body":"You are the thermostat."},{"startTime":1043.035,"endTime":1047.775,"body":"When you stay regulated, when you can"},{"startTime":1043.035,"endTime":1047.775,"body":"name what's happening without escalating,"},{"startTime":1048.345,"endTime":1049.545,"body":"that's a really important piece."},{"startTime":1049.545,"endTime":1054.7,"body":"Without escalating, you give your kids"},{"startTime":1049.545,"endTime":1054.7,"body":"nervous system something to come back to."},{"startTime":1055.695,"endTime":1060.315,"body":"Now this may not feel natural at first"},{"startTime":1055.695,"endTime":1060.315,"body":"for either of you, and it may not go well."},{"startTime":1060.4950000000001,"endTime":1061.665,"body":"The first couple of times."},{"startTime":1062.2050000000002,"endTime":1066.375,"body":"You're gonna wanna correct and lecture"},{"startTime":1062.2050000000002,"endTime":1066.375,"body":"and explain why screen time is over."},{"startTime":1066.555,"endTime":1067.845,"body":"You can do all that later."},{"startTime":1068.655,"endTime":1073.845,"body":"Right now in the storm, your number"},{"startTime":1068.655,"endTime":1073.845,"body":"one and only job is to remain calm"},{"startTime":1074.115,"endTime":1076.395,"body":"and consistent with the limit you set."},{"startTime":1077.535,"endTime":1078.105,"body":"Sound good?"},{"startTime":1078.615,"endTime":1083.415,"body":"Okay, move number three is build"},{"startTime":1078.615,"endTime":1083.415,"body":"a bridge, the landing activity."},{"startTime":1084.3,"endTime":1087.9,"body":"One of the most effective things"},{"startTime":1084.3,"endTime":1087.9,"body":"you can do is have something waiting"},{"startTime":1087.9,"endTime":1089.19,"body":"on the other side of the screen."},{"startTime":1090.03,"endTime":1092.01,"body":"Not as a bribe, but as a bridge."},{"startTime":1092.8500000000001,"endTime":1096.48,"body":"You might say, after we turn this"},{"startTime":1092.8500000000001,"endTime":1096.48,"body":"off, let's go shoot some hoops."},{"startTime":1096.96,"endTime":1098.8500000000001,"body":"That's what used to work in our household."},{"startTime":1099.21,"endTime":1100.2,"body":"Shooting free throws."},{"startTime":1100.71,"endTime":1105.06,"body":"You could say, Hey, now that you're"},{"startTime":1100.71,"endTime":1105.06,"body":"done, let's go get a snack together."},{"startTime":1105.48,"endTime":1110.4,"body":"Or you could say, Hey, I wanna show"},{"startTime":1105.48,"endTime":1110.4,"body":"you something funny I saw today."},{"startTime":1111.195,"endTime":1115.905,"body":"You're giving the nervous system of your"},{"startTime":1111.195,"endTime":1115.905,"body":"kid something to move towards instead"},{"startTime":1115.905,"endTime":1118.275,"body":"of only focusing on what it's losing."},{"startTime":1118.905,"endTime":1123.795,"body":"And here's the beautiful thing,"},{"startTime":1118.905,"endTime":1123.795,"body":"movement, connection and food are three"},{"startTime":1123.795,"endTime":1128.504,"body":"of the fastest, most natural ways to"},{"startTime":1123.795,"endTime":1128.504,"body":"shift to dysregulated nervous system."},{"startTime":1129.375,"endTime":1134.415,"body":"And if you can offer any of those right"},{"startTime":1129.375,"endTime":1134.415,"body":"after the screen goes off, you're giving"},{"startTime":1134.415,"endTime":1136.305,"body":"their brain a different kind of dopamine."},{"startTime":1137.295,"endTime":1138.825,"body":"One that doesn't come with a crash."},{"startTime":1139.62,"endTime":1141.6299999999999,"body":"Now, I know you can't do this every time."},{"startTime":1141.87,"endTime":1142.41,"body":"I get that."},{"startTime":1142.62,"endTime":1146.7,"body":"Life doesn't always allow for a"},{"startTime":1142.62,"endTime":1146.7,"body":"landing activity, but when you can,"},{"startTime":1146.97,"endTime":1149.52,"body":"it makes a real difference, I promise."},{"startTime":1150.36,"endTime":1150.75,"body":"And move."},{"startTime":1150.75,"endTime":1154.56,"body":"Number four is auditing the"},{"startTime":1150.75,"endTime":1154.56,"body":"digital soothing pattern."},{"startTime":1155.37,"endTime":1157.11,"body":"Try saying that fast four times."},{"startTime":1157.95,"endTime":1160.08,"body":"Now, move number four is the long game."},{"startTime":1160.47,"endTime":1162.6299999999999,"body":"And to be honest, it's"},{"startTime":1160.47,"endTime":1162.6299999999999,"body":"the most important one."},{"startTime":1163.47,"endTime":1167.1,"body":"I wanna encourage you to start"},{"startTime":1163.47,"endTime":1167.1,"body":"paying attention to windscreens."},{"startTime":1167.1,"endTime":1168.075,"body":"Get handed to your kid."},{"startTime":1168.93,"endTime":1173.49,"body":"As an emotional tool, not to judge"},{"startTime":1168.93,"endTime":1173.49,"body":"yourself, just to get honest with how"},{"startTime":1173.49,"endTime":1176.79,"body":"often it happens, and then one at a time."},{"startTime":1177.33,"endTime":1180.72,"body":"Start introducing"},{"startTime":1177.33,"endTime":1180.72,"body":"alternatives to the screen."},{"startTime":1181.65,"endTime":1182.91,"body":"What does your child love?"},{"startTime":1183.81,"endTime":1185.19,"body":"What gets them in their body?"},{"startTime":1185.79,"endTime":1190.74,"body":"Music, drawing, building something"},{"startTime":1185.79,"endTime":1190.74,"body":"together, time outside cooking,"},{"startTime":1191.1,"endTime":1194.19,"body":"shooting baskets, going for"},{"startTime":1191.1,"endTime":1194.19,"body":"a walk, going to the park."},{"startTime":1195.09,"endTime":1196.92,"body":"You're not trying to"},{"startTime":1195.09,"endTime":1196.92,"body":"eliminate the screens."},{"startTime":1197.67,"endTime":1201.09,"body":"What you're doing here is making"},{"startTime":1197.67,"endTime":1201.09,"body":"sure screens aren't the only"},{"startTime":1201.84,"endTime":1207.18,"body":"regulation tool in the toolkit you're"},{"startTime":1201.84,"endTime":1207.18,"body":"building alongside, not taking away,"},{"startTime":1208.05,"endTime":1210.0,"body":"because here's the long-term goal."},{"startTime":1210.87,"endTime":1214.68,"body":"A kid who can feel bored and"},{"startTime":1210.87,"endTime":1214.68,"body":"tolerated, that's the goal."},{"startTime":1215.1299999999999,"endTime":1219.99,"body":"A kid who can feel frustrated and"},{"startTime":1215.1299999999999,"endTime":1219.99,"body":"find a way through a kid who doesn't"},{"startTime":1219.99,"endTime":1226.02,"body":"need a screen just to feel okay,"},{"startTime":1219.99,"endTime":1226.02,"body":"that's where we're building towards."},{"startTime":1226.545,"endTime":1231.285,"body":"Not a screen free childhood, just"},{"startTime":1226.545,"endTime":1231.285,"body":"a childhood where the screen isn't"},{"startTime":1231.285,"endTime":1233.295,"body":"doing all the emotional work."},{"startTime":1234.705,"endTime":1235.635,"body":"Does that make sense?"},{"startTime":1236.565,"endTime":1238.425,"body":"I wanna tell you about"},{"startTime":1236.565,"endTime":1238.425,"body":"a mom I've worked with."},{"startTime":1239.085,"endTime":1242.685,"body":"I've changed some of the details,"},{"startTime":1239.085,"endTime":1242.685,"body":"but this is the pattern I see"},{"startTime":1242.715,"endTime":1244.305,"body":"over and over and over again."},{"startTime":1245.205,"endTime":1246.2549999999999,"body":"Let's call her Mary."},{"startTime":1246.795,"endTime":1251.865,"body":"Mary had a 10-year-old son, we'll call"},{"startTime":1246.795,"endTime":1251.865,"body":"him Theo, and the daily screen battle was"},{"startTime":1251.865,"endTime":1253.785,"body":"absolutely destroying their afternoons."},{"startTime":1255.075,"endTime":1258.555,"body":"Every single day turning"},{"startTime":1255.075,"endTime":1258.555,"body":"off the Xbox was a war."},{"startTime":1259.485,"endTime":1262.995,"body":"Theo would rage cry, say things"},{"startTime":1259.485,"endTime":1262.995,"body":"like, I hate this family."},{"startTime":1263.325,"endTime":1267.195,"body":"Sometimes he would even throw things"},{"startTime":1263.325,"endTime":1267.195,"body":"and Mary had tried everything."},{"startTime":1267.885,"endTime":1273.645,"body":"Sticker chart timers, warning, taking away"},{"startTime":1267.885,"endTime":1273.645,"body":"completely, giving longer screen times on"},{"startTime":1273.645,"endTime":1277.185,"body":"weekends, bargaining, offering a reward."},{"startTime":1277.185,"endTime":1282.465,"body":"She tried everything and nothing worked,"},{"startTime":1277.185,"endTime":1282.465,"body":"and she was starting to really worry."},{"startTime":1282.87,"endTime":1284.82,"body":"Something was seriously"},{"startTime":1282.87,"endTime":1284.82,"body":"wrong with her kid."},{"startTime":1285.57,"endTime":1289.05,"body":"So when Mary first joined the"},{"startTime":1285.57,"endTime":1289.05,"body":"Hive and started getting coaching,"},{"startTime":1289.53,"endTime":1293.19,"body":"the first thing I noticed was"},{"startTime":1289.53,"endTime":1293.19,"body":"how she was framing the problem."},{"startTime":1293.97,"endTime":1297.78,"body":"She kept saying, he's so"},{"startTime":1293.97,"endTime":1297.78,"body":"addicted, he has no self-control."},{"startTime":1298.92,"endTime":1303.57,"body":"And every time Theo melted down, she"},{"startTime":1298.92,"endTime":1303.57,"body":"responded with anger and punishment"},{"startTime":1304.32,"endTime":1309.03,"body":"because she was really interpreting"},{"startTime":1304.32,"endTime":1309.03,"body":"his behavior as a defiance."},{"startTime":1309.84,"endTime":1312.0,"body":"So the first shift we made was the frame."},{"startTime":1312.69,"endTime":1314.61,"body":"I told Mary what I've told you today."},{"startTime":1315.36,"endTime":1316.65,"body":"This isn't defiance."},{"startTime":1317.1,"endTime":1318.78,"body":"This is a brain in distress."},{"startTime":1319.83,"endTime":1324.48,"body":"Theo's nervous system was getting"},{"startTime":1319.83,"endTime":1324.48,"body":"hijacked every single afternoon when"},{"startTime":1324.51,"endTime":1329.34,"body":"even the anticipation of the dopamine"},{"startTime":1324.51,"endTime":1329.34,"body":"drop reared its head, and nobody was"},{"startTime":1329.34,"endTime":1330.69,"body":"helping him with the soft landing."},{"startTime":1331.5,"endTime":1332.85,"body":"So we worked on two things."},{"startTime":1333.75,"endTime":1337.65,"body":"First, she started giving him more"},{"startTime":1333.75,"endTime":1337.65,"body":"runway, 10 minutes, five minutes,"},{"startTime":1337.8,"endTime":1341.46,"body":"two minutes, and a consistent"},{"startTime":1337.8,"endTime":1341.46,"body":"follow through with a calm voice."},{"startTime":1342.3,"endTime":1344.58,"body":"Second, and this was"},{"startTime":1342.3,"endTime":1344.58,"body":"the harder one for Mary."},{"startTime":1345.48,"endTime":1347.25,"body":"She started staying regulated."},{"startTime":1347.61,"endTime":1351.99,"body":"Even when the meltdown came instead"},{"startTime":1347.61,"endTime":1351.99,"body":"of escalating, she'd get low,"},{"startTime":1352.2,"endTime":1354.48,"body":"stay calm and say, I know bud."},{"startTime":1354.99,"endTime":1356.31,"body":"Your brain doesn't wanna stop."},{"startTime":1356.91,"endTime":1360.6,"body":"You're having so much fun, and"},{"startTime":1356.91,"endTime":1360.6,"body":"what I'm asking is really hard."},{"startTime":1361.23,"endTime":1365.19,"body":"And that's all she would say while"},{"startTime":1361.23,"endTime":1365.19,"body":"she was holding the boundary of"},{"startTime":1365.19,"endTime":1368.61,"body":"its time to turn it off at the"},{"startTime":1365.19,"endTime":1368.61,"body":"end of the 10 minute warning."},{"startTime":1369.45,"endTime":1370.3799999999999,"body":"Now, let me be honest."},{"startTime":1370.3799999999999,"endTime":1371.639,"body":"The change didn't come overnight."},{"startTime":1372.36,"endTime":1374.76,"body":"The first week was rough for both of them."},{"startTime":1374.85,"endTime":1378.09,"body":"Theo didn't know what to do with"},{"startTime":1374.85,"endTime":1378.09,"body":"a mom who wasn't fighting back."},{"startTime":1378.81,"endTime":1382.92,"body":"Theo didn't know what to do with the 10"},{"startTime":1378.81,"endTime":1382.92,"body":"minute countdown and the soft landing."},{"startTime":1383.31,"endTime":1387.18,"body":"But slowly, over about three"},{"startTime":1383.31,"endTime":1387.18,"body":"weeks, the duration of the"},{"startTime":1387.18,"endTime":1388.44,"body":"meltdown started shrinking."},{"startTime":1389.1299999999999,"endTime":1394.47,"body":"Then one afternoon, Theo turned off"},{"startTime":1389.1299999999999,"endTime":1394.47,"body":"the Xbox when the timer went off and"},{"startTime":1394.47,"endTime":1396.12,"body":"just came upstairs into the kitchen."},{"startTime":1397.02,"endTime":1398.67,"body":"No meltdown, no drama."},{"startTime":1399.54,"endTime":1405.3,"body":"Mary sent me a message that night and she"},{"startTime":1399.54,"endTime":1405.3,"body":"said, Lisa, he just came into the kitchen."},{"startTime":1405.84,"endTime":1408.87,"body":"When the timer went off, I almost cried."},{"startTime":1409.44,"endTime":1414.12,"body":"I didn't even know that was possible and"},{"startTime":1409.44,"endTime":1414.12,"body":"I would put a bow on this story with."},{"startTime":1415.44,"endTime":1420.18,"body":"That's what happens when we stop fighting"},{"startTime":1415.44,"endTime":1420.18,"body":"the behavior and begin to understand"},{"startTime":1420.18,"endTime":1425.775,"body":"the brain behind it, and that's what"},{"startTime":1420.18,"endTime":1425.775,"body":"happens inside the hive on the regular."},{"startTime":1427.3799999999999,"endTime":1428.22,"body":"Let's bring it home."},{"startTime":1428.37,"endTime":1429.42,"body":"Here's what we covered today."},{"startTime":1430.14,"endTime":1433.56,"body":"When your kid melts down"},{"startTime":1430.14,"endTime":1433.56,"body":"because the screen went off,"},{"startTime":1433.62,"endTime":1434.73,"body":"they're not manipulating you."},{"startTime":1434.97,"endTime":1435.72,"body":"I promise."},{"startTime":1436.05,"endTime":1437.07,"body":"They're not defiant."},{"startTime":1437.49,"endTime":1438.18,"body":"They're dysregulated."},{"startTime":1439.83,"endTime":1441.87,"body":"Their brain gets flooded"},{"startTime":1439.83,"endTime":1441.87,"body":"with the dopamine."},{"startTime":1442.68,"endTime":1446.55,"body":"There's an announcement that the"},{"startTime":1442.68,"endTime":1446.55,"body":"dopamine is going to end, and then the"},{"startTime":1446.55,"endTime":1452.64,"body":"dopamine drops and their nervous system"},{"startTime":1446.55,"endTime":1452.64,"body":"registers it as a threat and fight."},{"startTime":1452.64,"endTime":1454.41,"body":"Flight fauna freeze kicks in."},{"startTime":1455.084,"endTime":1456.344,"body":"It's not a character problem."},{"startTime":1456.824,"endTime":1463.125,"body":"This is biology and the apps and the"},{"startTime":1456.824,"endTime":1463.125,"body":"games and the shows and the videos."},{"startTime":1463.455,"endTime":1468.044,"body":"They're designed specifically"},{"startTime":1463.455,"endTime":1468.044,"body":"intentionally designed to"},{"startTime":1468.044,"endTime":1470.205,"body":"make stopping feel impossible."},{"startTime":1471.044,"endTime":1474.885,"body":"So I'd love for us all to give our kids"},{"startTime":1471.044,"endTime":1474.885,"body":"a little more grace when they struggle."},{"startTime":1475.574,"endTime":1478.7549999999999,"body":"You and your kids are going up"},{"startTime":1475.574,"endTime":1478.7549999999999,"body":"against billion dollar engineering"},{"startTime":1479.5339999999999,"endTime":1482.145,"body":"and it's hard, but we can do this."},{"startTime":1482.73,"endTime":1484.56,"body":"We can do this as parents."},{"startTime":1485.43,"endTime":1490.47,"body":"We talked today about digital soothing and"},{"startTime":1485.43,"endTime":1490.47,"body":"how sometimes our kids fall into the habit"},{"startTime":1490.5,"endTime":1492.6,"body":"of using screens to manage big feelings."},{"startTime":1493.649,"endTime":1497.85,"body":"It accidentally shrinks the emotional"},{"startTime":1493.649,"endTime":1497.85,"body":"toolkit over time, and we talked"},{"startTime":1497.85,"endTime":1500.55,"body":"about what actually helps, right?"},{"startTime":1501.27,"endTime":1505.17,"body":"The brain aware, transition,"},{"startTime":1501.27,"endTime":1505.17,"body":"warning, more runway, softer landing,"},{"startTime":1505.83,"endTime":1509.1299999999999,"body":"naming what's happening without"},{"startTime":1505.83,"endTime":1509.1299999999999,"body":"judgment, without escalation."},{"startTime":1509.52,"endTime":1510.66,"body":"I know you don't wanna quit."},{"startTime":1510.93,"endTime":1512.16,"body":"I know you are having fun."},{"startTime":1512.58,"endTime":1516.0,"body":"I know this is really hard"},{"startTime":1512.58,"endTime":1516.0,"body":"and we're done for the day."},{"startTime":1516.84,"endTime":1520.65,"body":"We talked about the landing activity,"},{"startTime":1516.84,"endTime":1520.65,"body":"giving the nervous system something"},{"startTime":1520.65,"endTime":1524.55,"body":"to move towards as much as you"},{"startTime":1520.65,"endTime":1524.55,"body":"can, especially in the beginning."},{"startTime":1525.15,"endTime":1528.6299999999999,"body":"And we talked about auditing"},{"startTime":1525.15,"endTime":1528.6299999999999,"body":"the digital soothing pattern."},{"startTime":1529.26,"endTime":1532.95,"body":"I wanna encourage you to build"},{"startTime":1529.26,"endTime":1532.95,"body":"a bigger toolkit alongside the"},{"startTime":1532.95,"endTime":1534.75,"body":"screens, not instead of it."},{"startTime":1535.545,"endTime":1536.205,"body":"Through it all."},{"startTime":1536.205,"endTime":1538.485,"body":"The same thing has been"},{"startTime":1536.205,"endTime":1538.485,"body":"true in every episode."},{"startTime":1538.725,"endTime":1544.215,"body":"This season, you are the steadiest"},{"startTime":1538.725,"endTime":1544.215,"body":"nervous system in the room, even when"},{"startTime":1544.215,"endTime":1547.785,"body":"it doesn't feel like it, especially"},{"startTime":1544.215,"endTime":1547.785,"body":"when it doesn't feel like it."},{"startTime":1548.655,"endTime":1552.495,"body":"We're not trying to raise screen"},{"startTime":1548.655,"endTime":1552.495,"body":"free kids in a screen filled world."},{"startTime":1552.555,"endTime":1554.775,"body":"It's probably not even really possible."},{"startTime":1555.405,"endTime":1560.595,"body":"Well, we are trying to raise are kids"},{"startTime":1555.405,"endTime":1560.595,"body":"who know how to feel things, manage"},{"startTime":1560.655,"endTime":1563.475,"body":"feelings, and come back to themselves."},{"startTime":1564.045,"endTime":1568.695,"body":"Even when the screens go off, that's"},{"startTime":1564.045,"endTime":1568.695,"body":"the goal and you're building it"},{"startTime":1569.175,"endTime":1572.835,"body":"one afternoon at a time, and I'm"},{"startTime":1569.175,"endTime":1572.835,"body":"committed to being here with you."},{"startTime":1573.195,"endTime":1574.485,"body":"Every step of the way."},{"startTime":1575.445,"endTime":1575.775,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1576.825,"endTime":1577.245,"body":"Awesome."},{"startTime":1577.965,"endTime":1578.445,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1578.445,"endTime":1581.925,"body":"Until next time, I'm wishing"},{"startTime":1578.445,"endTime":1581.925,"body":"you Peaceful Parenting."},{"startTime":1583.725,"endTime":1585.825,"body":"Thanks for listening to Real"},{"startTime":1583.725,"endTime":1585.825,"body":"World Peaceful Parenting."},{"startTime":1586.335,"endTime":1589.065,"body":"If you want more info on how you"},{"startTime":1586.335,"endTime":1589.065,"body":"can transform your parenting,"},{"startTime":1589.335,"endTime":1590.985,"body":"visit the peaceful parent.com."},{"startTime":1591.225,"endTime":1591.825,"body":"See you soon."}]}