{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":1.2,"endTime":4.41,"body":"Welcome to Real World Peaceful"},{"startTime":1.2,"endTime":4.41,"body":"Parenting, a podcast for parents"},{"startTime":4.41,"endTime":7.08,"body":"that are tired of yelling,"},{"startTime":4.41,"endTime":7.08,"body":"threatening, and punishing their kids."},{"startTime":7.62,"endTime":11.73,"body":"Join mom and master certified parent"},{"startTime":7.62,"endTime":11.73,"body":"coach Lisa Smith as she gives you"},{"startTime":11.73,"endTime":15.15,"body":"actionable step-by-step strategies"},{"startTime":11.73,"endTime":15.15,"body":"that'll help you transform your"},{"startTime":15.15,"endTime":17.4,"body":"household from chaos to cooperation."},{"startTime":17.82,"endTime":18.36,"body":"Let's dive in."},{"startTime":22.47,"endTime":27.39,"body":"Welcome, welcome, welcome,"},{"startTime":22.47,"endTime":27.39,"body":"welcome to today's episode."},{"startTime":28.11,"endTime":30.15,"body":"I am so glad you're here."},{"startTime":31.41,"endTime":35.73,"body":"Last week in episode 2 77, we"},{"startTime":31.41,"endTime":35.73,"body":"talked about why it is so hard"},{"startTime":35.73,"endTime":37.65,"body":"for kids to put down a screen."},{"startTime":38.55,"endTime":43.38,"body":"We talked about that dopamine flood,"},{"startTime":38.55,"endTime":43.38,"body":"the crash when the screen goes off,"},{"startTime":44.22,"endTime":49.92,"body":"the meltdown that isn't defiance, but"},{"startTime":44.22,"endTime":49.92,"body":"a nervous system in genuine distress."},{"startTime":50.61,"endTime":56.879,"body":"And today I wanna take us a layer deeper"},{"startTime":50.61,"endTime":56.879,"body":"because if you listen to that episode."},{"startTime":57.239,"endTime":61.98,"body":"You walked away understanding what"},{"startTime":57.239,"endTime":61.98,"body":"happens at the screen, the on ramp,"},{"startTime":62.01,"endTime":66.42,"body":"the off ramp, the emotional crash"},{"startTime":62.01,"endTime":66.42,"body":"at the end, but there's a bigger"},{"startTime":66.42,"endTime":68.94,"body":"story sitting underneath that one."},{"startTime":69.39,"endTime":73.44,"body":"And that story is what"},{"startTime":69.39,"endTime":73.44,"body":"this episode is about."},{"startTime":74.28,"endTime":78.78,"body":"Today's episode is really about"},{"startTime":74.28,"endTime":78.78,"body":"how screens are not a coping skill."},{"startTime":79.38,"endTime":81.45,"body":"And here's the thesis."},{"startTime":81.84,"endTime":86.25,"body":"Write this down or screenshot it, tattoo"},{"startTime":81.84,"endTime":86.25,"body":"it on your arm, whatever you need to do."},{"startTime":87.104,"endTime":92.054,"body":"We are not teaching our kids how"},{"startTime":87.104,"endTime":92.054,"body":"to calm down when we give them"},{"startTime":92.054,"endTime":93.705,"body":"electronics, when they're upset."},{"startTime":94.185,"endTime":96.345,"body":"We are teaching them how to check out."},{"startTime":97.155,"endTime":98.745,"body":"And let me walk you through what I mean."},{"startTime":99.645,"endTime":105.675,"body":"Let's zoom way out for a minute because"},{"startTime":99.645,"endTime":105.675,"body":"before we talk about your kid and your"},{"startTime":105.705,"endTime":111.045,"body":"living room, we have to talk about the"},{"startTime":105.705,"endTime":111.045,"body":"culture we are parenting inside of."},{"startTime":112.095,"endTime":115.335,"body":"We are raising children in"},{"startTime":112.095,"endTime":115.335,"body":"a world where discomfort."},{"startTime":115.845,"endTime":121.725,"body":"Any discomfort is immediately"},{"startTime":115.845,"endTime":121.725,"body":"avoidable, not just screens everything."},{"startTime":121.725,"endTime":126.945,"body":"Hungry, DoorDash, bored, electronics,"},{"startTime":121.725,"endTime":126.945,"body":"awkward silence, electronics,"},{"startTime":127.544,"endTime":131.295,"body":"a feeling you don't wanna"},{"startTime":127.544,"endTime":131.295,"body":"feel, scroll, stream, or swipe."},{"startTime":131.865,"endTime":138.615,"body":"Our kids have never known a world without"},{"startTime":131.865,"endTime":138.615,"body":"this, and the researchers who have been"},{"startTime":138.615,"endTime":140.745,"body":"sounding the alarm on it, Jonathan ha."},{"startTime":141.614,"endTime":146.234,"body":"Jean Twain and a lot of others have"},{"startTime":141.614,"endTime":146.234,"body":"been saying in various ways the"},{"startTime":146.234,"endTime":148.304,"body":"same core things for years now."},{"startTime":148.905,"endTime":153.704,"body":"What they've documented is staggering"},{"startTime":148.905,"endTime":153.704,"body":"rising rates of anxiety and depression"},{"startTime":154.005,"endTime":159.674,"body":"in kids plummeting, resilience, and a"},{"startTime":154.005,"endTime":159.674,"body":"generation of young people who feel more"},{"startTime":159.915,"endTime":165.285,"body":"fragile, more overwhelmed, more afraid"},{"startTime":159.915,"endTime":165.285,"body":"of failure, more afraid of discomfort"},{"startTime":165.554,"endTime":167.535,"body":"than previous generations ever were."},{"startTime":168.315,"endTime":173.175,"body":"The pattern underneath all that, when"},{"startTime":168.315,"endTime":173.175,"body":"we strip everything else away is this."},{"startTime":173.715,"endTime":179.055,"body":"Our kids are losing the ability to"},{"startTime":173.715,"endTime":179.055,"body":"sit with discomfort, and it's not"},{"startTime":179.055,"endTime":183.135,"body":"because they're weak or because they"},{"startTime":179.055,"endTime":183.135,"body":"are spoiled, it's because they've"},{"startTime":183.135,"endTime":189.795,"body":"been handed from the youngest ages, a"},{"startTime":183.135,"endTime":189.795,"body":"tool that makes discomfort optional."},{"startTime":190.755,"endTime":193.515,"body":"A brain that learns over"},{"startTime":190.755,"endTime":193.515,"body":"and over and over again."},{"startTime":193.755,"endTime":198.165,"body":"The discomfort is optional, will"},{"startTime":193.755,"endTime":198.165,"body":"stop building the muscles for it."},{"startTime":199.005,"endTime":201.614,"body":"That is the backdrop, that is the soil."},{"startTime":202.274,"endTime":204.734,"body":"Now let's talk about what grows in it."},{"startTime":205.545,"endTime":210.404,"body":"Last week I introduced the concept"},{"startTime":205.545,"endTime":210.404,"body":"of digital soothing, using screens"},{"startTime":210.404,"endTime":212.565,"body":"to help a kid manage big feelings."},{"startTime":213.315,"endTime":217.065,"body":"You know, a toddler melting down"},{"startTime":213.315,"endTime":217.065,"body":"at a restaurant, an 8-year-old"},{"startTime":217.274,"endTime":218.625,"body":"after a hard day at school."},{"startTime":219.225,"endTime":223.335,"body":"A device on car rides, whether"},{"startTime":219.225,"endTime":223.335,"body":"they're long or not, when the"},{"startTime":223.335,"endTime":229.515,"body":"whining starts, and I named that,"},{"startTime":223.335,"endTime":229.515,"body":"screens are remarkably, almost"},{"startTime":229.515,"endTime":232.995,"body":"miraculously good at digital soothing."},{"startTime":233.805,"endTime":236.175,"body":"They work, the meltdown stops."},{"startTime":236.415,"endTime":237.585,"body":"Everybody breathes."},{"startTime":238.395,"endTime":242.505,"body":"And if you have done it and every"},{"startTime":238.395,"endTime":242.505,"body":"parent I know has done it, you know"},{"startTime":242.505,"endTime":244.545,"body":"exactly what I'm talking about."},{"startTime":245.325,"endTime":248.205,"body":"But here's what I want you"},{"startTime":245.325,"endTime":248.205,"body":"to hear, really hear today."},{"startTime":248.94,"endTime":254.13,"body":"Every time a screen is the thing"},{"startTime":248.94,"endTime":254.13,"body":"that stops a meltdown, your child's"},{"startTime":254.13,"endTime":259.89,"body":"brain is learning a sentence, and the"},{"startTime":254.13,"endTime":259.89,"body":"sentence is, when I feel bad, I escape."},{"startTime":260.73,"endTime":261.87,"body":"That's what they're learning."},{"startTime":262.62,"endTime":266.91,"body":"Not when I feel bad, I get through"},{"startTime":262.62,"endTime":266.91,"body":"it, not when I feel bad, someone helps"},{"startTime":266.91,"endTime":269.46,"body":"me through it, not when I feel bad."},{"startTime":269.46,"endTime":270.45,"body":"It passes."},{"startTime":271.02,"endTime":272.01,"body":"They are learning."},{"startTime":272.04,"endTime":273.78,"body":"When I feel bad, I escape."},{"startTime":274.74,"endTime":276.87,"body":"And because screens work so fast."},{"startTime":277.455,"endTime":282.105,"body":"Because that dopamine flood is so"},{"startTime":277.455,"endTime":282.105,"body":"immediate, the brain begins to file"},{"startTime":282.105,"endTime":284.835,"body":"it under emergency coping strategies."},{"startTime":285.105,"endTime":286.245,"body":"That definitely work."},{"startTime":286.965,"endTime":290.925,"body":"So the brain reaches for it"},{"startTime":286.965,"endTime":290.925,"body":"again and again and again."},{"startTime":291.735,"endTime":294.645,"body":"Here's what is actually"},{"startTime":291.735,"endTime":294.645,"body":"happening under the hood."},{"startTime":295.485,"endTime":300.645,"body":"The kid is dysregulated, and that leads"},{"startTime":295.485,"endTime":300.645,"body":"to a nervous system that is overwhelmed,"},{"startTime":301.275,"endTime":306.495,"body":"and then a screen arrives and the"},{"startTime":301.275,"endTime":306.495,"body":"screen delivers instant dopamine."},{"startTime":307.14,"endTime":311.37,"body":"Instant distraction, and this is"},{"startTime":307.14,"endTime":311.37,"body":"the part that most parents miss."},{"startTime":311.94,"endTime":313.56,"body":"Instant emotional shutdown."},{"startTime":314.49,"endTime":317.909,"body":"The feeling gets interrupted"},{"startTime":314.49,"endTime":317.909,"body":"before it even gets a chance"},{"startTime":318.15,"endTime":319.89,"body":"to be named or processed."},{"startTime":321.0,"endTime":324.719,"body":"So the feeling doesn't get"},{"startTime":321.0,"endTime":324.719,"body":"metabolized or learned."},{"startTime":324.84,"endTime":326.159,"body":"It doesn't get integrated."},{"startTime":326.159,"endTime":332.43,"body":"It doesn't become something the"},{"startTime":326.159,"endTime":332.43,"body":"kid understands about themselves."},{"startTime":333.21,"endTime":335.49,"body":"It just gets turned off"},{"startTime":333.21,"endTime":335.49,"body":"like a light switch."},{"startTime":336.105,"endTime":339.585,"body":"And over hundreds of repetitions."},{"startTime":339.885,"endTime":344.985,"body":"The brain wires itself, not towards"},{"startTime":339.885,"endTime":344.985,"body":"resilience, but towards relief seeking."},{"startTime":345.795,"endTime":350.925,"body":"And this is the pattern we're laying"},{"startTime":345.795,"endTime":350.925,"body":"down, whether we mean to or not,"},{"startTime":351.045,"endTime":355.185,"body":"whether we know it or not, which is"},{"startTime":351.045,"endTime":355.185,"body":"why I'm gonna say it again because"},{"startTime":355.185,"endTime":357.045,"body":"this is the line of the whole episode."},{"startTime":358.005,"endTime":361.515,"body":"We're not teaching our kids how"},{"startTime":358.005,"endTime":361.515,"body":"to calm down with electronics."},{"startTime":361.785,"endTime":364.035,"body":"We're teaching them how to check out."},{"startTime":364.47,"endTime":366.36,"body":"When they're storming and dysregulated."},{"startTime":367.35,"endTime":371.19,"body":"Now I wanna be really clear here, 'cause"},{"startTime":367.35,"endTime":371.19,"body":"I don't want anyone walking away from"},{"startTime":371.19,"endTime":375.21,"body":"this episode thinking I'm saying screens"},{"startTime":371.19,"endTime":375.21,"body":"are the devil or that they're bad."},{"startTime":375.24,"endTime":377.25,"body":"I am not saying that at all."},{"startTime":377.49,"endTime":382.23,"body":"I have never said that not all"},{"startTime":377.49,"endTime":382.23,"body":"screen use is harmful or bad."},{"startTime":383.01,"endTime":386.31,"body":"A show after school is"},{"startTime":383.01,"endTime":386.31,"body":"not destroying your kid."},{"startTime":387.0,"endTime":391.17,"body":"A movie on a rainy Saturday or on"},{"startTime":387.0,"endTime":391.17,"body":"Friday nights with pizza with the whole"},{"startTime":391.17,"endTime":393.48,"body":"family is not rotting their brain."},{"startTime":394.2,"endTime":397.74,"body":"Playing a video game is"},{"startTime":394.2,"endTime":397.74,"body":"not by itself a crisis."},{"startTime":398.28,"endTime":403.56,"body":"I happen to have a 20 almost"},{"startTime":398.28,"endTime":403.56,"body":"2-year-old that has been video gaming"},{"startTime":403.56,"endTime":405.54,"body":"for many, many years and loves it."},{"startTime":406.47,"endTime":407.91,"body":"The issue is not the moment."},{"startTime":407.97,"endTime":409.23,"body":"The issue is the pattern."},{"startTime":410.04,"endTime":411.72,"body":"Okay, let me show you the difference."},{"startTime":411.72,"endTime":412.59,"body":"Risky pattern."},{"startTime":413.4,"endTime":417.57,"body":"Kid feels upset, screen"},{"startTime":413.4,"endTime":417.57,"body":"appears, feeling stops."},{"startTime":417.99,"endTime":419.43,"body":"Repeat, repeat, repeat."},{"startTime":420.375,"endTime":425.325,"body":"The screen becomes the primary"},{"startTime":420.375,"endTime":425.325,"body":"way this kid learns to and manages"},{"startTime":425.565,"endTime":427.965,"body":"his or her difficult emotions."},{"startTime":428.925,"endTime":431.925,"body":"The occasional use, the child is fine."},{"startTime":432.405,"endTime":436.035,"body":"Watches a show because it's Tuesday"},{"startTime":432.405,"endTime":436.035,"body":"afternoon and that's what you do on"},{"startTime":436.035,"endTime":441.285,"body":"Tuesdays, or the screen comes on for"},{"startTime":436.035,"endTime":441.285,"body":"entertainment and the screen goes off."},{"startTime":442.065,"endTime":446.445,"body":"And emotional regulation or"},{"startTime":442.065,"endTime":446.445,"body":"emotional life is not hinging."},{"startTime":447.015,"endTime":449.685,"body":"On the TV show, the game or the screen."},{"startTime":450.165,"endTime":452.655,"body":"These are completely different things."},{"startTime":453.375,"endTime":455.475,"body":"The first is a regulation strategy."},{"startTime":455.475,"endTime":460.035,"body":"Sometimes it happens by accident, but is"},{"startTime":455.475,"endTime":460.035,"body":"repeated over and over and over again."},{"startTime":460.335,"endTime":462.045,"body":"And the second is just entertainment."},{"startTime":462.825,"endTime":466.365,"body":"So here's the question I wanna put"},{"startTime":462.825,"endTime":466.365,"body":"at the center of this conversation."},{"startTime":467.235,"endTime":472.005,"body":"It's not about if screens are used,"},{"startTime":467.235,"endTime":472.005,"body":"it's about what are they replacing?"},{"startTime":472.725,"endTime":474.285,"body":"Are they replacing boredom?"},{"startTime":474.345,"endTime":475.785,"body":"That would've become creativity."},{"startTime":476.895,"endTime":480.315,"body":"Are they replacing a feeling"},{"startTime":476.895,"endTime":480.315,"body":"that would've become growth?"},{"startTime":481.125,"endTime":484.755,"body":"Are they replacing a conversation"},{"startTime":481.125,"endTime":484.755,"body":"you would've had with your kid?"},{"startTime":485.445,"endTime":490.155,"body":"Are they replacing a 10 minute wave"},{"startTime":485.445,"endTime":490.155,"body":"of frustration that if ridden would've"},{"startTime":490.155,"endTime":495.855,"body":"built something permanent in your child's"},{"startTime":490.155,"endTime":495.855,"body":"nervous system and created resilience?"},{"startTime":496.665,"endTime":498.045,"body":"This is the real question."},{"startTime":498.585,"endTime":502.035,"body":"Not minutes per day,"},{"startTime":498.585,"endTime":502.035,"body":"not apps versus no apps."},{"startTime":503.61,"endTime":509.19,"body":"What are we using the screens to serve"},{"startTime":503.61,"endTime":509.19,"body":"or replace when our kids are upset?"},{"startTime":510.06,"endTime":515.1,"body":"Okay, so if screens are not the coping"},{"startTime":510.06,"endTime":515.1,"body":"skill, what is the coping skill and"},{"startTime":515.1,"endTime":517.29,"body":"what are we actually trying to build?"},{"startTime":517.92,"endTime":522.69,"body":"Well, I propose three things, and I"},{"startTime":517.92,"endTime":522.69,"body":"encourage you to write these down."},{"startTime":523.53,"endTime":525.63,"body":"Number one, distress tolerance."},{"startTime":526.35,"endTime":531.84,"body":"The ability to feel something unpleasant"},{"startTime":526.35,"endTime":531.84,"body":"and not immediately need to make it stop."},{"startTime":532.709,"endTime":537.3,"body":"The ability to be uncomfortable without"},{"startTime":532.709,"endTime":537.3,"body":"panicking about being uncomfortable."},{"startTime":538.53,"endTime":540.449,"body":"Number two, emotional endurance."},{"startTime":541.469,"endTime":545.339,"body":"The capacity to stay in a feeling long"},{"startTime":541.469,"endTime":545.339,"body":"enough to learn what it's telling you."},{"startTime":546.66,"endTime":554.76,"body":"To let sadness be sad, to let frustration"},{"startTime":546.66,"endTime":554.76,"body":"rise and fall to learn how to not treat"},{"startTime":555.39,"endTime":558.42,"body":"every negative emotion like a house fire."},{"startTime":559.74,"endTime":561.93,"body":"Number three, internal regulation."},{"startTime":562.5,"endTime":566.34,"body":"The set of skills that let a kid"},{"startTime":562.5,"endTime":566.34,"body":"come back to themselves from the"},{"startTime":566.34,"endTime":572.13,"body":"inside without needing or relying on"},{"startTime":566.34,"endTime":572.13,"body":"an external tool to do it for them."},{"startTime":573.36,"endTime":576.36,"body":"And here's the thing about"},{"startTime":573.36,"endTime":576.36,"body":"building these three things."},{"startTime":577.17,"endTime":579.18,"body":"You can't build them without discomfort."},{"startTime":579.87,"endTime":580.56,"body":"You can't."},{"startTime":581.04,"endTime":584.94,"body":"It's like trying to build muscles"},{"startTime":581.04,"endTime":584.94,"body":"without ever lifting anything."},{"startTime":586.305,"endTime":591.855,"body":"The whole mechanism requires the feeling"},{"startTime":586.305,"endTime":591.855,"body":"to actually happen and the kid to stay in"},{"startTime":591.855,"endTime":594.675,"body":"it long enough for something to change."},{"startTime":595.605,"endTime":598.995,"body":"So the line I want you"},{"startTime":595.605,"endTime":598.995,"body":"to take with you is this."},{"startTime":599.985,"endTime":603.345,"body":"You don't build resilience"},{"startTime":599.985,"endTime":603.345,"body":"by removing discomfort."},{"startTime":604.185,"endTime":608.985,"body":"You build it by staying with it"},{"startTime":604.185,"endTime":608.985,"body":"and moving through it, and your"},{"startTime":608.985,"endTime":611.625,"body":"kid cannot move through it alone."},{"startTime":612.75,"endTime":613.86,"body":"This is where you come in."},{"startTime":614.49,"endTime":620.91,"body":"Your job, and please hear this carefully,"},{"startTime":614.49,"endTime":620.91,"body":"is not to eliminate, not I repeat, not"},{"startTime":621.33,"endTime":623.52,"body":"to eliminate your kids' discomfort."},{"startTime":624.36,"endTime":626.34,"body":"Your job is not to fix the feeling."},{"startTime":627.18,"endTime":630.99,"body":"Your job is not to make the"},{"startTime":627.18,"endTime":630.99,"body":"frustration stop as fast as possible."},{"startTime":632.01,"endTime":638.19,"body":"Your job is to help your kid learn"},{"startTime":632.01,"endTime":638.19,"body":"that they can feel something hard and"},{"startTime":638.19,"endTime":640.38,"body":"survive it and come out the other side."},{"startTime":642.42,"endTime":643.59,"body":"So what does this look like?"},{"startTime":644.79,"endTime":645.96,"body":"Three step process."},{"startTime":646.02,"endTime":647.16,"body":"You know, I love threes."},{"startTime":647.34,"endTime":648.54,"body":"So here's the sequence."},{"startTime":648.78,"endTime":650.76,"body":"One, you acknowledge the feeling."},{"startTime":651.78,"endTime":654.96,"body":"This can't be new to you if you've"},{"startTime":651.78,"endTime":654.96,"body":"been around for a while, right?"},{"startTime":654.96,"endTime":658.17,"body":"I'm all about helping our kids"},{"startTime":654.96,"endTime":658.17,"body":"acknowledge their feelings."},{"startTime":659.069,"endTime":660.87,"body":"You seem frustrated right now."},{"startTime":661.5,"endTime":663.06,"body":"That was really disappointing."},{"startTime":663.84,"endTime":665.43,"body":"I can tell you're really upset."},{"startTime":666.03,"endTime":669.21,"body":"I can tell you don't wanna"},{"startTime":666.03,"endTime":669.21,"body":"stop gaming, you just name it."},{"startTime":669.525,"endTime":671.775,"body":"You're not fixing it,"},{"startTime":669.525,"endTime":671.775,"body":"you're witnessing it."},{"startTime":672.615,"endTime":676.185,"body":"And then number two, you stay"},{"startTime":672.615,"endTime":676.185,"body":"connected, you get close, you"},{"startTime":676.185,"endTime":678.345,"body":"stay calm, you don't escalate."},{"startTime":678.825,"endTime":680.505,"body":"You remember that You're the anchor."},{"startTime":681.285,"endTime":684.555,"body":"And then number three, you"},{"startTime":681.285,"endTime":684.555,"body":"help your kid ride the wave."},{"startTime":685.635,"endTime":689.895,"body":"Not shortcut around it, not numb"},{"startTime":685.635,"endTime":689.895,"body":"it, not drug it with the dopamine"},{"startTime":689.895,"endTime":694.995,"body":"hit, but to ride it with you as"},{"startTime":689.895,"endTime":694.995,"body":"the steady presence beside them."},{"startTime":695.955,"endTime":697.515,"body":"This my real world, peaceful parent."},{"startTime":698.34,"endTime":703.26,"body":"Co-regulation, and this is what we talk"},{"startTime":698.34,"endTime":703.26,"body":"about on this podcast all the time."},{"startTime":703.98,"endTime":707.13,"body":"And when you do this over"},{"startTime":703.98,"endTime":707.13,"body":"and over and over again,"},{"startTime":707.64,"endTime":709.5,"body":"something extraordinary happens."},{"startTime":710.28,"endTime":712.74,"body":"Your kid's nervous system starts to learn."},{"startTime":713.16,"endTime":716.43,"body":"Big feelings are survivable"},{"startTime":713.16,"endTime":716.43,"body":"hard moments pass."},{"startTime":716.97,"endTime":720.689,"body":"I can do hard things and I'm"},{"startTime":716.97,"endTime":720.689,"body":"not alone when I do them."},{"startTime":721.53,"endTime":722.88,"body":"That's the foundation."},{"startTime":723.15,"endTime":724.439,"body":"That's what we're building."},{"startTime":725.01,"endTime":725.43,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":726.0,"endTime":726.33,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":727.29,"endTime":731.64,"body":"Okay, let's put this into a sentence"},{"startTime":727.29,"endTime":731.64,"body":"you can actually use in your home."},{"startTime":732.449,"endTime":736.62,"body":"For years, the conversation about"},{"startTime":732.449,"endTime":736.62,"body":"screens has been stuck between"},{"startTime":736.65,"endTime":739.319,"body":"two terrible polls on one side."},{"startTime":739.319,"endTime":740.099,"body":"Screens are bad."},{"startTime":740.339,"endTime":741.479,"body":"We have to eliminate 'em."},{"startTime":741.479,"endTime":744.0,"body":"We have to restrict"},{"startTime":741.479,"endTime":744.0,"body":"them on the other side."},{"startTime":744.0,"endTime":746.069,"body":"Screens are fine, everything's fine."},{"startTime":746.699,"endTime":749.459,"body":"Well, the truth is both"},{"startTime":746.699,"endTime":749.459,"body":"are wrong in my opinion."},{"startTime":749.67,"endTime":750.719,"body":"And both miss the point."},{"startTime":751.62,"endTime":753.959,"body":"I wanna give you a much"},{"startTime":751.62,"endTime":753.959,"body":"more useful framing."},{"startTime":754.709,"endTime":756.15,"body":"Screens are for entertainment."},{"startTime":756.675,"endTime":759.885,"body":"Screens are not for emotional regulation."},{"startTime":760.635,"endTime":761.655,"body":"Let me say that again."},{"startTime":762.225,"endTime":763.815,"body":"Screens are for entertainment."},{"startTime":764.175,"endTime":769.485,"body":"Screens are not for emotional"},{"startTime":764.175,"endTime":769.485,"body":"regulation or even simpler, and I"},{"startTime":769.485,"endTime":771.225,"body":"love this one as a family value."},{"startTime":771.495,"endTime":775.365,"body":"You could actually say out loud in front"},{"startTime":771.495,"endTime":775.365,"body":"of your kids around the dinner table."},{"startTime":776.055,"endTime":778.365,"body":"We don't use screens to avoid feelings."},{"startTime":779.505,"endTime":781.965,"body":"Now think about how different this is."},{"startTime":782.595,"endTime":784.095,"body":"It doesn't shame screens."},{"startTime":784.469,"endTime":788.43,"body":"It doesn't villainize them, it just"},{"startTime":784.469,"endTime":788.43,"body":"puts them in the proper category."},{"startTime":789.3,"endTime":795.12,"body":"Screens are for fun, for entertainment,"},{"startTime":789.3,"endTime":795.12,"body":"for connection sometimes, but they"},{"startTime":795.12,"endTime":796.8,"body":"are not the tool we reach for."},{"startTime":796.92,"endTime":801.329,"body":"When feelings get big and negative,"},{"startTime":796.92,"endTime":801.329,"body":"there's a different tool for that."},{"startTime":802.17,"endTime":808.079,"body":"And that tool is a person, a"},{"startTime":802.17,"endTime":808.079,"body":"parent, a human, not screens."},{"startTime":910.78,"endTime":915.099,"body":"Now here's the practical shift"},{"startTime":910.78,"endTime":915.099,"body":"before you hand over a screen."},{"startTime":915.4449999999999,"endTime":921.234,"body":"To a kid who's upset, who's bored, who's"},{"startTime":915.4449999999999,"endTime":921.234,"body":"frustrated, or who's melting down, I"},{"startTime":921.234,"endTime":925.885,"body":"want you to ask yourself one question,"},{"startTime":921.234,"endTime":925.885,"body":"has my kid been supported emotionally?"},{"startTime":925.885,"endTime":926.334,"body":"Yet?"},{"startTime":927.535,"endTime":932.0939999999999,"body":"If the answer is no, and you hand over"},{"startTime":927.535,"endTime":932.0939999999999,"body":"the screen anyway, you just used the"},{"startTime":932.0939999999999,"endTime":938.484,"body":"screen to skip or suppress the feeling"},{"startTime":932.0939999999999,"endTime":938.484,"body":"to digitally soothe, those are the"},{"startTime":938.484,"endTime":940.3439999999999,"body":"moments that build the risky pattern."},{"startTime":941.454,"endTime":944.875,"body":"Now if the answer is yes, if you've"},{"startTime":941.454,"endTime":944.875,"body":"already acknowledged the feeling you've"},{"startTime":944.875,"endTime":949.225,"body":"stayed connected and you helped him ride"},{"startTime":944.875,"endTime":949.225,"body":"the wave, and now you're handing over"},{"startTime":949.225,"endTime":955.1949999999999,"body":"a show because the day's been long and"},{"startTime":949.225,"endTime":955.1949999999999,"body":"everyone's tired and your kid could use a"},{"startTime":955.1949999999999,"endTime":959.074,"body":"break and be entertained for a few minutes"},{"startTime":955.1949999999999,"endTime":959.074,"body":"while you get dinner, then that's fine."},{"startTime":959.8199999999999,"endTime":963.475,"body":"That's screen is an entertainment,"},{"startTime":959.8199999999999,"endTime":963.475,"body":"not digital soothing."},{"startTime":964.135,"endTime":964.885,"body":"Make sense?"},{"startTime":965.485,"endTime":968.2139999999999,"body":"Now, I realize it's not"},{"startTime":965.485,"endTime":968.2139999999999,"body":"easy, but it's simple."},{"startTime":969.235,"endTime":974.245,"body":"Instead of a meltdown leads to"},{"startTime":969.235,"endTime":974.245,"body":"screen, we're building meltdown,"},{"startTime":975.115,"endTime":982.645,"body":"connection, recovery, and then"},{"startTime":975.115,"endTime":982.645,"body":"maybe if you want a screen, but a"},{"startTime":982.645,"endTime":987.535,"body":"screen is entertainment, not as the"},{"startTime":982.645,"endTime":987.535,"body":"regulator, not as the co-regulation,"},{"startTime":987.835,"endTime":990.115,"body":"because that's you, that's your job."},{"startTime":990.715,"endTime":994.405,"body":"And to be totally honest with"},{"startTime":990.715,"endTime":994.405,"body":"you, screens do a horrible job"},{"startTime":994.765,"endTime":996.74,"body":"of co-regulating with your kid."},{"startTime":998.035,"endTime":1002.055,"body":"Instead, they just shut down the"},{"startTime":998.035,"endTime":1002.055,"body":"experience and prevent your kid"},{"startTime":1002.205,"endTime":1006.135,"body":"from learning and growing and"},{"startTime":1002.205,"endTime":1006.135,"body":"progressing and building resiliency."},{"startTime":1006.915,"endTime":1008.265,"body":"And hopefully you can see that."},{"startTime":1009.255,"endTime":1013.6949999999999,"body":"All right, now I need to talk to"},{"startTime":1009.255,"endTime":1013.6949999999999,"body":"you directly for a minute, you the"},{"startTime":1013.6949999999999,"endTime":1019.155,"body":"parent, because everything I said"},{"startTime":1013.6949999999999,"endTime":1019.155,"body":"is easier to say than it is to do."},{"startTime":1019.635,"endTime":1020.415,"body":"And I know that."},{"startTime":1020.895,"endTime":1024.195,"body":"And you know that too, and I'm"},{"startTime":1020.895,"endTime":1024.195,"body":"not gonna pretend otherwise."},{"startTime":1025.095,"endTime":1029.7150000000001,"body":"So I wanna tell you a truth"},{"startTime":1025.095,"endTime":1029.7150000000001,"body":"that doesn't get said enough on"},{"startTime":1029.7150000000001,"endTime":1031.545,"body":"parenting podcasts, in my opinion."},{"startTime":1032.445,"endTime":1037.335,"body":"Sometimes the screen isn't"},{"startTime":1032.445,"endTime":1037.335,"body":"just for the kid, it's for the"},{"startTime":1037.335,"endTime":1038.9550000000002,"body":"parent's nervous system too."},{"startTime":1039.855,"endTime":1043.4550000000002,"body":"Hear that, don't flinch"},{"startTime":1039.855,"endTime":1043.4550000000002,"body":"and just let it be true."},{"startTime":1044.025,"endTime":1049.4850000000001,"body":"Sometimes you hand over the iPhone"},{"startTime":1044.025,"endTime":1049.4850000000001,"body":"because let's be honest, our kid is about"},{"startTime":1049.4850000000001,"endTime":1052.125,"body":"to lose it and we're about to lose it."},{"startTime":1053.19,"endTime":1058.2,"body":"One of you has to regulate and you've"},{"startTime":1053.19,"endTime":1058.2,"body":"decided without articulating it to"},{"startTime":1058.2,"endTime":1059.97,"body":"yourself that it's gonna be you."},{"startTime":1060.99,"endTime":1065.04,"body":"And the only way to make that"},{"startTime":1060.99,"endTime":1065.04,"body":"happen is to take the kid out of"},{"startTime":1065.04,"endTime":1067.0800000000002,"body":"the equation for a few minutes."},{"startTime":1068.43,"endTime":1069.8400000000001,"body":"Now, that's not a character flaw."},{"startTime":1070.1100000000001,"endTime":1075.75,"body":"It's a tired, overwhelmed human being,"},{"startTime":1070.1100000000001,"endTime":1075.75,"body":"doing the best we can in a culture"},{"startTime":1076.5900000000001,"endTime":1078.48,"body":"that hands parents almost no support."},{"startTime":1079.56,"endTime":1080.16,"body":"I see you."},{"startTime":1081.3600000000001,"endTime":1081.8700000000001,"body":"I've been you."},{"startTime":1082.695,"endTime":1084.375,"body":"Every parent I know has been there."},{"startTime":1085.065,"endTime":1090.525,"body":"So I say this with no judgment, but, and"},{"startTime":1085.065,"endTime":1090.525,"body":"this is where the awareness comes in."},{"startTime":1091.545,"endTime":1095.9550000000002,"body":"If you can name that this is"},{"startTime":1091.545,"endTime":1095.9550000000002,"body":"what's happening for you, you've"},{"startTime":1095.9550000000002,"endTime":1097.605,"body":"just unlocked a different door."},{"startTime":1098.805,"endTime":1102.165,"body":"Because if that screen is actually"},{"startTime":1098.805,"endTime":1102.165,"body":"for your nervous system, then"},{"startTime":1103.005,"endTime":1106.935,"body":"the question becomes, what else"},{"startTime":1103.005,"endTime":1106.935,"body":"could regulate you right now?"},{"startTime":1107.7450000000001,"endTime":1110.805,"body":"A walk, five minutes in the"},{"startTime":1107.7450000000001,"endTime":1110.805,"body":"bathroom with the door locked."},{"startTime":1111.4950000000001,"endTime":1116.775,"body":"Calling a friend, putting on music,"},{"startTime":1111.4950000000001,"endTime":1116.775,"body":"asking your partner to take over for"},{"startTime":1116.775,"endTime":1119.355,"body":"15 minutes, maybe even a good cry."},{"startTime":1120.615,"endTime":1124.785,"body":"Those are all options, and"},{"startTime":1120.615,"endTime":1124.785,"body":"the truth is the screen is one"},{"startTime":1124.785,"endTime":1126.704,"body":"option but not the only option."},{"startTime":1127.665,"endTime":1132.855,"body":"And if the screen is quietly become"},{"startTime":1127.665,"endTime":1132.855,"body":"your default option for your own"},{"startTime":1132.855,"endTime":1135.585,"body":"overwhelm, that's worth noticing too."},{"startTime":1136.425,"endTime":1138.285,"body":"Without shame, without judgment."},{"startTime":1138.974,"endTime":1144.224,"body":"Just with the kind of honest eyes that"},{"startTime":1138.974,"endTime":1144.224,"body":"lead you to a different choice next time."},{"startTime":1144.734,"endTime":1149.055,"body":"Because what we know is our kids don't"},{"startTime":1144.734,"endTime":1149.055,"body":"do what we say they do what we model."},{"startTime":1150.195,"endTime":1155.805,"body":"So maybe we need to take inventory and"},{"startTime":1150.195,"endTime":1155.805,"body":"ask how often are we modeling using"},{"startTime":1155.805,"endTime":1158.835,"body":"the screen as our own digital soother?"},{"startTime":1159.855,"endTime":1161.475,"body":"Let me tell you about a mom I work with."},{"startTime":1161.835,"endTime":1162.885,"body":"Let's call her Megan."},{"startTime":1164.055,"endTime":1169.935,"body":"Megan has a 7-year-old son who on any"},{"startTime":1164.055,"endTime":1169.935,"body":"given afternoon seemed to fall apart"},{"startTime":1170.235,"endTime":1171.645,"body":"the minute he got home from school."},{"startTime":1172.515,"endTime":1177.165,"body":"You know how this goes, shoes off,"},{"startTime":1172.515,"endTime":1177.165,"body":"backpack on the floor and within about"},{"startTime":1177.165,"endTime":1182.295,"body":"four minutes he's crying, arguing"},{"startTime":1177.165,"endTime":1182.295,"body":"with his sister and or melting down"},{"startTime":1182.595,"endTime":1184.965,"body":"over something that seems microscopic."},{"startTime":1186.015,"endTime":1188.5049999999999,"body":"Megan's response every"},{"startTime":1186.015,"endTime":1188.5049999999999,"body":"single time was the same."},{"startTime":1189.015,"endTime":1189.945,"body":"She gave him the iPad."},{"startTime":1190.545,"endTime":1191.595,"body":"Take a break buddy."},{"startTime":1191.745,"endTime":1192.525,"body":"Decompress."},{"startTime":1193.5,"endTime":1197.429,"body":"When we started working together, the"},{"startTime":1193.5,"endTime":1197.429,"body":"first thing I asked her was, walk me"},{"startTime":1197.429,"endTime":1202.05,"body":"through what those moments feel like for"},{"startTime":1197.429,"endTime":1202.05,"body":"you right before you hand the iPad over."},{"startTime":1203.01,"endTime":1206.8799999999999,"body":"She paused and thought about it and said,"},{"startTime":1203.01,"endTime":1206.8799999999999,"body":"honestly, I feel like I can't do this."},{"startTime":1207.209,"endTime":1211.11,"body":"Like if I don't get him calm in the"},{"startTime":1207.209,"endTime":1211.11,"body":"next two minutes, I'm gonna snap,"},{"startTime":1211.59,"endTime":1215.61,"body":"and I just want the noise and the"},{"startTime":1211.59,"endTime":1215.61,"body":"chaos and the storming to stop."},{"startTime":1215.61,"endTime":1216.06,"body":"Lisa."},{"startTime":1216.899,"endTime":1219.6,"body":"And I said, okay, Megan,"},{"startTime":1216.899,"endTime":1219.6,"body":"this is really important."},{"startTime":1220.56,"endTime":1222.179,"body":"The screen isn't regulating him."},{"startTime":1222.825,"endTime":1223.905,"body":"It's regulating you."},{"startTime":1224.595,"endTime":1225.405,"body":"Can we look at that?"},{"startTime":1226.365,"endTime":1230.355,"body":"And she got really quiet because"},{"startTime":1226.365,"endTime":1230.355,"body":"she had never seen it that way."},{"startTime":1231.435,"endTime":1233.265,"body":"So we made two tiny shifts."},{"startTime":1233.835,"endTime":1237.135,"body":"First, when her son came"},{"startTime":1233.835,"endTime":1237.135,"body":"through the door, Megan started"},{"startTime":1237.135,"endTime":1238.545,"body":"meeting him before the meltdown."},{"startTime":1239.745,"endTime":1244.995,"body":"Not with the lecture, just with a"},{"startTime":1239.745,"endTime":1244.995,"body":"hand on his shoulder and saying,"},{"startTime":1244.995,"endTime":1246.2549999999999,"body":"I can see you're crashing."},{"startTime":1246.615,"endTime":1247.305,"body":"Hard day."},{"startTime":1248.385,"endTime":1251.235,"body":"Naming it, acknowledging"},{"startTime":1248.385,"endTime":1251.235,"body":"it, and staying connected."},{"startTime":1251.985,"endTime":1256.425,"body":"Riding the wave with him for"},{"startTime":1251.985,"endTime":1256.425,"body":"about 10 minutes before any screen"},{"startTime":1256.515,"endTime":1258.345,"body":"ever entered the conversation."},{"startTime":1259.395,"endTime":1264.075,"body":"And second, and this was the harder"},{"startTime":1259.395,"endTime":1264.075,"body":"shift, Megan started asking herself"},{"startTime":1264.555,"endTime":1268.935,"body":"what she needed in that window"},{"startTime":1264.555,"endTime":1268.935,"body":"because what she realized is that"},{"startTime":1268.935,"endTime":1271.455,"body":"she was also crashing at three 30."},{"startTime":1272.175,"endTime":1273.165,"body":"She was hungry."},{"startTime":1273.555,"endTime":1276.825,"body":"Her back hurt from work all"},{"startTime":1273.555,"endTime":1276.825,"body":"day, and she needed a minute."},{"startTime":1277.785,"endTime":1280.695,"body":"So she started taking it out"},{"startTime":1277.785,"endTime":1280.695,"body":"loud in front of her son."},{"startTime":1281.564,"endTime":1285.2549999999999,"body":"She'd say, I'm gonna sit on the"},{"startTime":1281.564,"endTime":1285.2549999999999,"body":"couch for five minutes and breathe."},{"startTime":1286.304,"endTime":1288.975,"body":"And she'd tell him, you can"},{"startTime":1286.304,"endTime":1288.975,"body":"sit with me if you want."},{"startTime":1288.975,"endTime":1293.054,"body":"I'd love for you to, or you can play"},{"startTime":1288.975,"endTime":1293.054,"body":"quietly and then we'll have a snack."},{"startTime":1294.044,"endTime":1294.975,"body":"Within three weeks."},{"startTime":1294.975,"endTime":1299.054,"body":"The afterschool meltdowns weren't"},{"startTime":1294.975,"endTime":1299.054,"body":"happening anymore, not because"},{"startTime":1299.294,"endTime":1304.665,"body":"her son had magically matured, but"},{"startTime":1299.294,"endTime":1304.665,"body":"because Meghan had stopped solving the"},{"startTime":1304.665,"endTime":1309.344,"body":"meltdown with a screen, she started"},{"startTime":1304.665,"endTime":1309.344,"body":"modeling out loud in front of him."},{"startTime":1309.915,"endTime":1312.555,"body":"What real regulation actually looks like."},{"startTime":1313.395,"endTime":1317.535,"body":"She checked in about a month later"},{"startTime":1313.395,"endTime":1317.535,"body":"and she said, Lisa, you're not gonna"},{"startTime":1317.535,"endTime":1321.014,"body":"believe this, but yesterday my son"},{"startTime":1317.535,"endTime":1321.014,"body":"asked me if I wanted to sit with"},{"startTime":1321.014,"endTime":1322.875,"body":"him on the couch for five minutes."},{"startTime":1323.865,"endTime":1326.235,"body":"Lisa, he wanted to co-regulate with me."},{"startTime":1326.925,"endTime":1329.115,"body":"I didn't even know that was possible."},{"startTime":1329.925,"endTime":1335.925,"body":"Yes, it's possible when we create an"},{"startTime":1329.925,"endTime":1335.925,"body":"awareness and when we make a commitment"},{"startTime":1335.925,"endTime":1338.025,"body":"to use screens for entertainment."},{"startTime":1338.639,"endTime":1344.82,"body":"Rather than regulation for ourselves"},{"startTime":1338.639,"endTime":1344.82,"body":"and co-regulation with our kids,"},{"startTime":1345.929,"endTime":1349.199,"body":"and that, my friend, that's"},{"startTime":1345.929,"endTime":1349.199,"body":"what we build inside the Hive."},{"startTime":1350.459,"endTime":1350.699,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1350.699,"endTime":1352.83,"body":"One homework assignment"},{"startTime":1350.699,"endTime":1352.83,"body":"this week, just one."},{"startTime":1353.939,"endTime":1360.36,"body":"Before you hand a screen to your kid when"},{"startTime":1353.939,"endTime":1360.36,"body":"they're upset or bored or frustrated or"},{"startTime":1360.36,"endTime":1365.25,"body":"melting down, ask yourself this question"},{"startTime":1360.36,"endTime":1365.25,"body":"out and ask it out loud if you need to."},{"startTime":1366.179,"endTime":1368.37,"body":"Has my kid been supported emotionally yet?"},{"startTime":1368.79,"endTime":1369.209,"body":"Yet?"},{"startTime":1370.02,"endTime":1373.169,"body":"If the answer's no, just"},{"startTime":1370.02,"endTime":1373.169,"body":"try the sequence first."},{"startTime":1373.919,"endTime":1379.32,"body":"Acknowledge the feeling, stay connected,"},{"startTime":1373.919,"endTime":1379.32,"body":"help him ride the wave, and then,"},{"startTime":1380.189,"endTime":1386.52,"body":"then when we come out of the wave,"},{"startTime":1380.189,"endTime":1386.52,"body":"you can hand the electronics over if"},{"startTime":1386.52,"endTime":1392.52,"body":"you want, but not as a regulator, as"},{"startTime":1386.52,"endTime":1392.52,"body":"entertainment afterwards, not during."},{"startTime":1393.27,"endTime":1393.81,"body":"That's it."},{"startTime":1394.05,"endTime":1394.83,"body":"One question."},{"startTime":1395.28,"endTime":1399.33,"body":"Every time a screen is about to be"},{"startTime":1395.28,"endTime":1399.33,"body":"handed over for an emotional reason."},{"startTime":1400.02,"endTime":1405.66,"body":"And if you wanna take it one step further,"},{"startTime":1400.02,"endTime":1405.66,"body":"try saying out loud at dinner in the car."},{"startTime":1405.66,"endTime":1411.27,"body":"Whenever we use screens as entertainment,"},{"startTime":1405.66,"endTime":1411.27,"body":"not as a regulator in our house, we"},{"startTime":1411.27,"endTime":1413.58,"body":"don't use screens to avoid feelings."},{"startTime":1414.36,"endTime":1415.53,"body":"And then watch what happens."},{"startTime":1416.37,"endTime":1418.23,"body":"And please, please, please let me know."},{"startTime":1418.68,"endTime":1419.8799999999999,"body":"Come find me on Instagram."},{"startTime":1420.15,"endTime":1421.98,"body":"I read every single message."},{"startTime":1422.25,"endTime":1423.21,"body":"You all leave me."},{"startTime":1423.79,"endTime":1427.605,"body":"The dms on Instagram, please"},{"startTime":1423.79,"endTime":1427.605,"body":"let me know how it's going."},{"startTime":1428.355,"endTime":1429.675,"body":"Okay, let's bring it home."},{"startTime":1430.275,"endTime":1433.995,"body":"We're raising kids in a world"},{"startTime":1430.275,"endTime":1433.995,"body":"where every flicker of discomfort."},{"startTime":1434.385,"endTime":1437.325,"body":"I mean, heck, we're raising adults"},{"startTime":1434.385,"endTime":1437.325,"body":"in a world where every flicker"},{"startTime":1437.325,"endTime":1441.945,"body":"of discomfort can be instantly"},{"startTime":1437.325,"endTime":1441.945,"body":"escaped, and the research is clear."},{"startTime":1442.125,"endTime":1447.795,"body":"Kids who grew up without practicing"},{"startTime":1442.125,"endTime":1447.795,"body":"tolerating distress don't become calmer."},{"startTime":1448.35,"endTime":1453.54,"body":"They become more anxious, more"},{"startTime":1448.35,"endTime":1453.54,"body":"fragile, and more dependent on external"},{"startTime":1453.54,"endTime":1455.639,"body":"fixes for their internal problems."},{"startTime":1456.57,"endTime":1458.55,"body":"Screens can be remarkable tools."},{"startTime":1459.06,"endTime":1464.22,"body":"They're also when used as emotional"},{"startTime":1459.06,"endTime":1464.22,"body":"regulation, a shortcut that costs"},{"startTime":1464.22,"endTime":1468.27,"body":"us the exact thing we are trying"},{"startTime":1464.22,"endTime":1468.27,"body":"to build our kids' capacity."},{"startTime":1469.02,"endTime":1471.615,"body":"So here's the reframe I"},{"startTime":1469.02,"endTime":1471.615,"body":"want you to wear this week."},{"startTime":1472.0049999999999,"endTime":1476.939,"body":"Like armor screens are for entertainment,"},{"startTime":1472.0049999999999,"endTime":1476.939,"body":"not for emotional regulation."},{"startTime":1477.6299999999999,"endTime":1481.98,"body":"In our house, we don't use"},{"startTime":1477.6299999999999,"endTime":1481.98,"body":"screens to avoid feelings and the"},{"startTime":1481.98,"endTime":1483.78,"body":"deepest truth underneath it all."},{"startTime":1483.99,"endTime":1487.95,"body":"The one I want ringing in your ear when"},{"startTime":1483.99,"endTime":1487.95,"body":"you are three minutes from the meltdown"},{"startTime":1488.22,"endTime":1493.83,"body":"and the iPad is right there and you're"},{"startTime":1488.22,"endTime":1493.83,"body":"about to hand it over, is if we want"},{"startTime":1493.83,"endTime":1499.11,"body":"emotionally strong kids, we cannot give"},{"startTime":1493.83,"endTime":1499.11,"body":"them a way out of every hard feeling."},{"startTime":1499.86,"endTime":1501.33,"body":"Comfort is not the goal."},{"startTime":1501.45,"endTime":1502.68,"body":"Capacity is."},{"startTime":1503.624,"endTime":1507.195,"body":"You are not trying to raise a kid"},{"startTime":1503.624,"endTime":1507.195,"body":"who never feels uncomfortable."},{"startTime":1507.885,"endTime":1512.084,"body":"You're trying to raise a kid who knows"},{"startTime":1507.885,"endTime":1512.084,"body":"how to feel uncomfortable, who knows"},{"startTime":1512.084,"endTime":1516.104,"body":"that they are not alone in it, and who"},{"startTime":1512.084,"endTime":1516.104,"body":"knows they will come to the other side."},{"startTime":1516.854,"endTime":1518.864,"body":"That's emotional intelligence."},{"startTime":1519.225,"endTime":1522.225,"body":"That's resilience, and that's the goal."},{"startTime":1522.975,"endTime":1527.715,"body":"And you're building it one afternoon,"},{"startTime":1522.975,"endTime":1527.715,"body":"one feeling, one wave at a time."},{"startTime":1528.195,"endTime":1528.614,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1529.59,"endTime":1529.86,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1531.149,"endTime":1531.66,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1532.29,"endTime":1536.34,"body":"Until next time, I'm wishing"},{"startTime":1532.29,"endTime":1536.34,"body":"you Peaceful Parenting."},{"startTime":1538.5,"endTime":1540.6,"body":"Thanks for listening to Real"},{"startTime":1538.5,"endTime":1540.6,"body":"World Peaceful Parenting."},{"startTime":1541.11,"endTime":1543.81,"body":"If you want more info on how you"},{"startTime":1541.11,"endTime":1543.81,"body":"can transform your parenting,"},{"startTime":1544.11,"endTime":1545.94,"body":"visit the peaceful parent.com."},{"startTime":1545.97,"endTime":1546.6,"body":"See you soon."}]}