19- Teacher Questions: Grace over Grind and Neurodiversity in Music Lessons

Teaching doesn’t require superhero energy; it requires humane rhythms, clear anchors, and courage to pivot. We sit down to unpack the real weight of lesson planning during a busy season, how we manage exhaustion without guilt, and why lowering the pressure can raise the music. From the “sacred 45” minutes that protect our focus to the 15-minute pauses that keep us present, we share small rituals that sustain big care.

We also tackle neurodivergent-friendly strategies with honesty and warmth. When plans flop, we don’t panic—we adapt.  Along the way, we invite your questions for a crowd-sourced Q&A in January and share details about our upcoming teacher chat on Zoom.

If you’re craving practical ideas for piano pedagogy, neurodiversity-aware teaching, and low-stress recital planning, you’ll feel right at home here. Press play, save your favorite tips, and tell us what you’ll try next. If this conversation helped, subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave a quick review so more teachers can find it.

Chapters

• 0:00 Warm Welcome And Setup
• 3:35 Panel Takeaways And Topic Plan
• 4:25 Managing Exhaustion As Teachers
• 6:15 Teaching Neurodivergent Learners
• 9:00 Expecting The Unexpected In Lessons
• 12:20 When Students Forget Their Books
• 16:30 Flexible, Low-Stress Recital Ideas
• 20:55 Thanksgiving Favorites And Fun
• 22:25 Community Q&A Plans And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 1:19

Welcome back to another episode of the Creative Piano Pedagogy podcast. I'm Elizabeth Davis, one of your hosts, and I am here with my friend and co-host, Tara Mock. And we have some more delightful teaching tips and things to share with you today. And we're so glad you're tuning in.

SPEAKER_01: 1:41

So happy to have another short podcast episode as we head into the holidays. I think we both have had long weeks with migraines, and so we're keeping it light and friendly today. Yes. So this week I had an opportunity to be on a small panel for a piano pedagogy class at Western Carolina University. Um, and I loved it so much. Um the other young lady on the piano uh on the panel, sorry, migraine. The other young lady on the panel has just started her teaching career, and we complimented each other very well. But uh I thought the students asked such amazing questions, and I thought maybe if you'd like to, Elizabeth, we could um kind of have a continuation of that discussion on today's podcast. And then you spoke to the Suzuki Association of Indiana. You also had amazing questions and they did.

SPEAKER_00: 2:43

They were wonderful group to speak with and just talk to um at their coffee chat that they have on Sunday evenings. So we have some good questions between the two groups, and I'm so glad that you had this idea for today's episode.

SPEAKER_01: 3:00

Fantastic. All right. So, first question, and it's this is not in any particular order, um, but I thought this was a brilliant one. How do you cope with exhaustion and lessons not going as expected? What I shared with them is that even, and I had a therapist tell me, even if I am only at 80%, say that particular day, I am still a good teacher. I don't have to be 100% every day. And it is okay to take a break. And I have discovered that my rhythm is really to have about three lessons with about a 15-minute break, so I can have a moment to breathe. Um, and we talked a little bit about that last episode, too. Or in the newsletter, maybe I think it was in the newsletter. I think so.

SPEAKER_00: 3:54

Both. I think it's it's just a theme that's been on both of our minds, and we've been talking about this away from the podcast as well, just about the busy time of the year. And this is something that's probably not talked about enough. The exhaustion and the heavy mental load of teaching neurodivergent learners. Um, just having to have your own emotions and mental clarity in check and be extra ready for them, be several steps ahead and be always on, if that makes sense. It can feel very exhausting, even if you have the best students in the world just dealing with unpredictable behaviors and not knowing which version of your student you're going to have in your lesson each week. It's a bit tiring and exhausting. Um, I really appreciate what you shared about you've learned that having a break after every so many lessons works really well for you. I shared in the newsletter, um, this week's newsletter, that I have a sacred 45. I really very, very passionately protect the 45 minutes before my first lesson of the day. I just have to have that time to mentally prepare. And I think another thing I wish I would have known as a young teacher was that my energy does not have to be amped up to excite my students. I think that's a big misconception a lot of younger teachers have, especially. And even a lot of seasoned teachers who are teaching hyperactive kiddos, like we don't have to be on, and your energy does not have to exceed what theirs is to get them excited about piano. So that's one thing I do to help myself not get too exhausted. Just be myself whatever I am that day, is what I have to offer.

SPEAKER_01: 5:50

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The other part of the question was what about when lessons don't go as expected? I think I almost expect them to be unexpected. Didn't somebody have a slogan one time, expect the unexpected? I don't I don't even know. Probably, probably it was, but I that probably needs to be a motto for students. Oh, absolutely. Not just neurodivergent students, but any type of student. Just expect the unexpected. You never know what's going to come out of their mouths or what the day is gonna be like.

SPEAKER_00: 6:27

I have honestly learned to not expect anything. I I really go into each lesson hoping that we start and end the lesson with making music together through improvisation or playing music together. But what happens in between, I don't really know. I can have the best plans in the world and have all their favorite activities or or build a lesson that's their favorite things, and it can absolutely flop. So I just really don't expect anything.

SPEAKER_01: 7:00

Yeah, I think, and I I think I probably learned a little bit of this from you, but also just knowing what each student loves and what they love to do and what they really don't like to do. So if I have a student who is really having an off day, I'm gonna tap into, oh, I remember that they really like improvisation. Let's just shelve everything, and we're just gonna do improvisation to help them feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_00: 7:28

Right. And this is where some of that exhaustion comes from, just adapting in the moment. It can be very thrilling and exciting, but at the end of the day, we're glad it's the end of the day. And if other teachers feel that way, it doesn't make you a bad teacher to be tired after teaching, even if you love what you do. It's okay to be tired.

SPEAKER_01: 7:48

Oh, absolutely. I think I I told the students that, like in the end, this is a job. And some days you're gonna like your job, and some days you're not gonna like your job. Um, even though I do think I have the best job in the world. Um let's see. A question that you had was uh, what do you do when neurodivergent students forget to bring their books to lessons?

SPEAKER_00: 8:14

This is a really hot button topic in the cesspool that is the Facebook groups. Tell me, tell me how you really feel, Elizabeth. Dark mirror field of depression and negativity, honestly, and then a few little glimmers of positivity. I'm unfiltered today, Terry.

SPEAKER_01: 8:36

Just a little bit.

SPEAKER_00: 8:38

It's so true. I mean, I have been there as a neurodivergent kid coming to lessons. So, you know, that was me as a child, but also, you know, a lot of people are like, well, it's the parents' response responsibility, or the kid should be old enough, or I refuse to teach you if you don't have the materials you need. Here's the thing. If that had been what happened to me as I when I was a child taking violin lessons or whatever, I probably would have had a lot of lessons where they would have said, you don't have your books, you can't have a lesson, or whatever it might have been. I'm so grateful that they were gracious with me and they're like, Oh, I have another copy. Don't worry. Or the parents are maybe going through a separation and the books are in somebody else's car or in somebody else's house. Hey, this is why I keep an extra set of books in my studio. Or this is why at the beginning of every week I go through and I prepare a lot of no-prep activities that we can use in lessons. We're gonna compose today. So to me, it's actually not a huge, huge problem. If it becomes repetitive, then I handle it and I might talk to the parents and say, hey, can we get the books in the car the night before? Or can we put the books in the backpack or whatever? But this happens to absolutely everyone. And I just really think we need to remember that we're teaching humans and we are human.

SPEAKER_01: 10:01

What do you think? It's it's not a hill to die on for me. I keep copies of all the books. I in my mind, um, I need copies anyway, yes for appropriate planning um and my own resources. And so if I am ordering a book I don't have in my library, I would for a student, I'll actually buy two copies. So I have a I have a copy.

SPEAKER_00: 10:27

I do the same thing. And I also honestly think if you're dealing with a neurodivergent student, they're probably gonna feel badly that they forgot their books because they already have some like guilt and embarrassment about not exceeding their own expectations anyway. So if you berate them and make a huge deal of it, that may be their excuse to quit instrument, like piano altogether. Um, and that sounds a bit exaggerated, but I I don't I don't want to be harsh on something that deserves grace. It's not a big deal.

SPEAKER_01: 10:56

Yeah, yeah, not a hill to die on. Nope. Um, okay, how this was a question I got, and um how do you handle recitals? Uh it's a very open-ended question. My short answer was I mean, the possibilities are endless. There's so many wonderful ideas out there. And I told them I look forward to your creativity in presenting recitals. But basically, I told them I I try to keep it varied, different times, um, different lengths, different locations, um, but to each to each their own.

SPEAKER_00: 11:33

What about you? You know, Tara, I think you did something really cool at Halloween for your students. So can you share what you had your students do in lieu of a formal Halloween recital?

SPEAKER_01: 11:44

Yes. And this was also thanks to you. You said, what about a virtual recital? Because I was lamenting that I just the date snuck up on me and I didn't know what to do. And I always have grand plans of putting out a yearly studio calendar and having it scheduled, and it never comes together. But you said just do it virtually. And so what we did was they just picked out a favorite piece, very low-key. They came to their, I always let my students bring their wear their costumes to lessons, Halloween weeks. They loved it. And um they came and performed their pieces. I used my camera system that I already have set up in OBS to record it. Awesome. Easy peasy, literally hit record. We could take as many takes as they want. They already know how to do that because thank you, technology. Right. And then the next week I had the videos preloaded into Canva, and we had a little intro section with their name and their um title of their piece and the composer, then the video, then kind of an outro section. And so cool. It was fun. I pulled up a stool to my desk and said, Okay, let's find a font. I had to explain what a font was sometimes. Let's find a video. Hilarious, hilarious and beautiful video productions. Oh, uploaded it to YouTube, um, which doesn't take long at all, and created a playlist. And now on their monthly um uh or weekly goals that we're doing for the National Park Challenge, one of their goals is to listen to two of those performances and perfect.

SPEAKER_00: 13:27

And they share their performance with their family or friends that weren't there that wouldn't have been able to come anyway. Oh, that's so cool. I love it. Um, my recitals are often very similar to that. I have a good uh in the past, I've had a lot of virtual students, even before COVID hit, uh, and we had to do that, or a lot of people did. So I've done very, very similar things, and my students think it is an absolute riot to get to be their own video directors. We end up with some pretty hysterical angles and things, and they love it because they can share and invite other people. I'm doing a Christmas party kind of similarly this December, where my students are gonna get together on Zoom and we're gonna share our favorite pieces. We're gonna play some games, and it's just gonna be very fun. I have done the big fancy recitals and the Steinway holes, and you know, all that kind of thing too. But there's just something about these smaller, more intimate, fun things like my backyard, my patio recitals that I have in in the spring. Um, so I I have learned to really enjoy more low-key things like that. And I'm encouraging other teachers, if you haven't or if you've been wanting to, it's a great, great thing to do. Just experiment, and I bet your studio families will absolutely love it. I think we have time for one more question.

SPEAKER_01: 14:50

One more question. Okay, let's make this completely random. Are you ready? I'm so ready. It's a it's a popular question, but um maybe our listeners haven't heard this yet. What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

SPEAKER_00: 15:07

Oh, okay. Well, Thanksgiving is one of my very favorite holidays. Um, I truly, truly love it. My favorite dish sweet potato casserole with the pecan topping. 100%. It could be a dessert, but it's not not in the style. Not in the style. Absolutely. I look forward to it every single year. It's probably the first thing on my plate, and I will eat it left over until it is gone. Um, what about you, Tara?

SPEAKER_01: 15:41

Oh, I love it. Um green bean bundles. Um I learned that. Oh, just you wait. This is good. I learned this from a friend in Jacksonville, Florida. Um, but you take canned green beans is fine, but you um you kind of half cook bacon, like cut the bacon in half and then put it in the oven, but only cook it about halfway. Then you take uh canned green beans, maybe put five or six in a bundle, wrap that with the bacon. Oh, then put that back on a cookie sheet, and then after you've got them all done, then you sprinkle brown sugar over the top of the bacon. Oh my word. And then a little bit of garlic powder and put it back in the oven for a little bit longer until the bacon is a little more cooked. Oh, Tara, I'm so hungry. I'm hungry now, too. My mouth is watering. It's absolutely amazing. This has been a family request every year for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

SPEAKER_00: 16:47

I see why. It sounds absolutely amazing. I'm gonna try that. It's you can't mess it up. I mean, that sounds so good. Well, if you're listening and you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I'm sorry. Um because we have really good food and Thanksgiving time, especially in the South. Oh, it's like a whole smorgasbord. Um, what a fun question. I love these random questions that you're thinking of for the ends of our episodes. Um, and what a fun thing to talk about today. These questions we received from teachers. I think we have plans to do another one of these in January with some crowdsourced questions where listeners can send in things if if they've got questions about something that they've been wanting us to talk about or a student that they're just really puzzled on. We're gonna have an opportunity for people to send in their questions. And that's gonna be really fun. I love crowd-sourced questions. Oh, yes. Well, thank you for spending time with us today and listening to what we had to say about piano teaching and maybe some things you can try in your studio or adapt for your own students. You don't ever have to take what we say and do it exactly the way we do it. That's not the goal, but take what we share and then think, ooh, if I tweak this, I think that would work beautifully for my students. And that's what we want. And that makes us very happy to hear that um you've tried some of our ideas or checked out the blog or checked out the new website, and you're finding things that support what you're doing. That's that's our goal, right?

SPEAKER_01: 18:29

Absolutely. And I would say too that if you take if you take an idea that we've suggested and you tweak it and you make it your own, or or you use it as is in your studio, we would love to hear about that. We love celebrating those wins and successes with you. It just Oh, absolutely. Very, very fulfilling, makes my heart happy.

SPEAKER_00: 18:50

Oh, yes. Um, the last thing I'll share is that our November newsletter just went out and went on a little bit late because we wanted to make sure that website was launched first. But we are going to be having a Black Friday sale. So that will be um something you can look out for. And if you're interested in joining our upcoming December teacher chat on Zoom, it's completely free and it's open to teachers anywhere that have been teaching for one month or a hundred months. Um, so that registration link is in the description of this podcast. So please join us if that interests you. And we will look forward to being back with you next time. Thanks for being with me, Tara. You're welcome. Happy holidays. Alrighty.