Jennifer Mackey-Mary: Hello, Gorgeous! 

Welcome back to the second installment of The Everyday Style School: Summer Shorts–our weekly summer series sharing a quick style thought or tip to help you save money, save time, and get the wardrobe you’ve always wanted.

I’m your host, Jennifer Mackey-Mary. I’ve been dressing women for 25 years, and I’m on a mission to help you love the way you look every day. 

Today’s thought is the one I’ve probably repeated the most on this top 10 list of mine, but is probably one of my most misunderstood pieces of advice, and that is “Shoes define your style”. 

I want to explain what I mean by this, and also what I don’t mean, but that women hear anyway. Then I’m going to share how not taking this advice to heart hurts your wardrobe, and what to do differently going forward.

What I mean by Shoes define your style is that what you put on your feet affects, and can change, the overall style of your outfit. Imagine you have a really polished sheath dress that fits beautifully and is perfect for the office or other dressy events. If you pair that dress with nice heels, the outfit looks like it’s supposed to. If you wear that dress with a pair of Crocs, or Hey Dudes, the dress no longer looks polished or sophisticated. The outfit takes on the level of style of the shoes. Now that’s an extreme example to illustrate my point, but I’ve seen this a million times over the years. Women put together a cute outfit, and then think what they put on their feet is just neutral. Like the outfit  just stops at the ankles. It doesn’t–the shoes matter, and define your style.

I once worked with a client who hired me because no matter what she did, her look just wasn't coming together. During the closet edit, I couldn’t figure it out because she had cute things that were current and looked good on her. Then we got to her shoes, and her closet was filled with dusty heels she never wore. I asked where her everyday shoes were, and she shrugged and said, “Oh, I just usually wear my uglies. I keep them by the door”. 

Well, friends, I think we found the problem–she was wearing what SHE described as uglies every day, and hoping her outfits would turn out cute. On our shopping trip, we focused on shoes, which totally changed her wardrobe and made all the pieces come together. Her shoes were now matching the style she wanted to project, instead of fighting it. Makes sense, right


Earlier, I told you this advice is often misunderstood, and here’s what usually happens. I say “shoes define your style”, and women hear “you have to wear uncomfortable heels in order to be stylish”. And I think this speaks to a larger belief that style is something that has to be difficult, or uncomfortable, or is only for times when it quote unquote matters. 

But that’s not what I’m saying at ALL, in fact, my whole business is based on the idea that you can have style every day, for the way you really live, even if it’s just going to the dog park or running errands. That was the entire point of the first episode in the series–that dressing well doesn’t have to mean dressing up. For the client I told you about, pulling her wardrobe together was as simple as trading her clunky Merrell clogs for a pair of stylish sneakers and some comfortable, cute flats. We didn’t put her in stilettos to take her kids to the park. We simply found stylish shoes for the way she really lived.

The other thing I hear when I say shoes define your style is “oh, that’s not true for me, because I have problem feet and can't find cute shoes”. But it is true, whether you want it to be or not. Listen, I have the most problemest feet in the world, and it’s still true. You can’t just opt out of this one because you don’t want it to be true, or because it’s more difficult.

Having shoes that don’t gel with, or don’t enhance your style, hurts your wardrobe in a couple of ways–first, and this is again something that is always true, is that we end up wasting a lot of money buying more clothes to solve the wrong problem. More cute tops isn’t going to fix the ugly shoe issue. It just adds to the closet noise. The bigger issue though, is that when you’re buying all the right things, and you still don’t like the way you look, it reinforces the idea a lot of women have that they’re just not good at this style thing, and that they just weren’t born with the style gene and so they just give up. But you have to realize it’s impossible for anyone to be successful when they’re trying to solve the wrong problem. 

So let’s wrap up with what to do instead.
The first thing you gotta do is wrap your head around the idea that stylish shoes don’t have to mean uncomfortable shoes.

Then you have to invest in stylish shoes for the way you really live. A million pairs of uncomfortable shoes you don’t wear doesn’t help your style. As with anything, you can invest money, or you can invest time. 

If you’re a person who has cute shoes for times when style “matters” and you default to your version of “uglies” everyday, you have to invest money in everyday shoes…and that doesn’t mean you have to spend huge on your everyday shoes, it simply means you have to allocate SOME of your wardrobe dollars to that category instead of treating it like an afterthought. 
I would make the argument that these are the shoes you should spend the most on, but that’s a topic for another day.  

Now, if you’re someone who doesn’t have stylish shoes because of your tricky feet, you may need to also invest some TIME. As a person with problem feet, I can tell you there is a solution out there; you just have to make the effort to find it. There are sandals that accommodate custom orthotics, and ballet flats for women with bunions. There are heels designed by orthopedic surgeons. It might take some time to find those things, and let’s face it, they will be more expensive, but it’s worth it if you want your style to come together.

Finally, make it a point to incorporate your shoes into your outfits. I like to challenge our Style Circle members to pick their shoes first and create an outfit around them. If you don’t want to do that, at least think about which of your shoes would look best with your outfit. It’s something we often do when we dress up, but a lot of us just slide our feet into default shoes for everyday life. It takes almost no time to just give your shoes a second thought, and might be the tweak your outfit needs.

That’s all for today’s Summer Shorts. I hope it encourages you to consider your whole outfit, from head to toe–and maybe give your shoe game a boost.

Remember shoes define your style everyday, whether you want them to or not. And your everyday matters, so get dressed for it.  Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next time. 

Jennifer Mackey-Mary [outro]: And that's a wrap. Thank you for listening today. If you're loving the Everyday Style School podcast, I'd like to invite you to become a member of the Style Circle. It's our monthly all-access membership that gives you everything we create to make style easy, so you can save time and money, have easier mornings, and more confidence all day long. You get our seasonal capsule wardrobe guides, all of the masterclasses we offer, and our exclusive members-only podcast, The Everyday Style School Extra Credit. Plus, you're invited to the Facebook community, where you can get even more style support and inspiration. I would love to get to know you and support your style journey. It's just $19 a month, less than the cost of a clearance shirt you're never gonna wear. Come join me and make your everyday style easier.