Corner Office, Empty Tank: The True Cost of Hustle Culture

She had the glass-fronted office. The company car. The fresh flowers on her desk. She was proud of what she had built — and she was quietly falling apart.

In this episode, executive leadership coach Rachael Edmondson-Clarke takes us back to the moment she collapsed on her office floor — not because she had stopped caring, but because she had cared too much, for too long, inside a system that had quietly made her the place where everything landed.

This is not a burnout recovery story. It is a story about what happens before the collapse. About the years of reframing. The responsibility that was never formally assigned. The moment her CEO looked at her across a table and said: it wasn't you. The system let you down.

Rachael is the founder of ellevar and an executive coach working with CEOs and senior leaders across global organizations. She brings neuroscience, biology, and hard-won personal experience to the conversation about what sustainable high performance actually means — and what it is not.

In this episode you will hear:

• Why the traits that make a leader valuable are the same traits that make them a target for invisible responsibility 
• What the Trust Tax cascade looks like from the inside — and why the most dangerous stage looks exactly like hard work
• How the biology of leadership determines whether you can actually show up at your best — not as a wellness concept, but as a structural one
• What a CEO said to Rachael that reframed everything — and why more leaders need to hear it
• The one thing high performers are doing this week that makes it worse

If you are still delivering, still the one everyone calls, and something is quietly wrong that you cannot name — this episode is for you.

ABOUT RACHAEL EDMONDSON-CLARKE

Rachael Edmondson-Clarke is the founder of ellevar and an executive leadership coach working with CEOs, senior leaders, and high-performing teams across global organizations. Her work sits at the intersection of neuroscience, biology, and leadership — helping people think clearly, handle pressure well, and lead in a way that works for their performance, their health, and the people around them.

Rachael's philosophy is simple: leadership shouldn't cost you your energy, your confidence, or your peace of mind. There is a better way to perform — and still feel like yourself.

• Website: https://www.ellevar.co.uk
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachaeledmondsonclarke/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachaeledmondsonclarke/

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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Ready to name what you are actually carrying?

The Trust Tax Diagnostic — Free, 5 Minutes, Immediate Result

Find out your load score, your cascade stage, and the exact language to introduce the structural question in your organization.

https://unceilingzone.com/trust_tax_diagnostic-page

Ready to go deeper?

The Responsibility Reset Notebook — $17

The structured tool for sorting what is genuinely yours, what is shared, and what was never yours to carry in the first place.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

There's a specific kind of exhaustion that doesn't have a name yet for most people. It's not burnout because you're still delivering. It's not stress because you've managed stress before. It's a feeling of waking up already running. At the end of the day, unable to separate what was yours from what just landed. Of being the person everyone calls, not because your job requires it, but because somewhere along the way, the system decided you were the place where unclaimed things go. That's not a character flaw, that's a routing problem. And today's guest has lived it from the inside. Welcome to Unsealing You, the podcast for high-performing women in corporate environments who are starting to suspect that the ceiling isn't above them. It's the invisible weight of everything they were never supposed to be carrying in the first place. I'm Dr. Natalie Luke, founder of Unsealing You, and my work starts before burnout. Most conversations start after. Here's how to recover. Here's how to build resilience. Here's how to set better boundaries. This show starts earlier, at the part where you're still performing and something is quietly wrong and you don't have a word for it yet. Today I'm joined by Rachel Edmondson Clark, leadership coach, founder of her own high performance practice, and a woman who knows what it looks like when the most capable person in the room becomes the system itself. Rachel has coached executives and CEOs through the kind of inflection points that don't show up on performance reviews. She knows the biology of sustainable leadership, not the mindset version, the neuroscience version. And she has a story that opens this episode that I think is going to stop some of you in your tracks. Here's what you're going to take away from this conversation. Why the very traits that make you successful are the same traits that made you the target for invisible responsibility. What it actually means to perform sustainably, not the wellness concept, but as an organizational one and what the signals look like when your body has already started the conversation your organization hasn't had yet. This is not an episode about recovering from burnout. It's an episode catching what's happening before the receipt arrives. Let's get into it. Thank you so much for being on to Rachel, the Unsealing You podcast. So I think we're gonna have some really great straight talk here. And you've talked about collapsing on your office floor from burnout. Take me back to that day, not what it meant in hindsight, but what it actually felt like at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I can remember it vividly. It was in my glass-fronted office. I was preparing to go into the boardroom, and instead of walking out the door, I found myself lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling tiles. I'd collapsed, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, and it was an incredibly frightening moment because I just didn't know what was happening to me. I am so curious, R brought you to that moment. Well, it's easy in hindsight, but what had brought me to that moment had been not months, but longer than that. I'd go as far as to say years of disrespecting my body, of neglecting the most important relationship in my life, of feeling like the responsibility and the weight of the organization was mine to bear and predominantly mine to bear. Believing that the only way to make things better was just to keep pushing on and you know to get to the, you know, just to get through the next, whether it was the next project or the next launch or to the next weekend, kept stacking up and stacking up and stacking up until my body just went, you're not listening, time out.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

What Rachel just described has a name and it's not burnout, not yet. In the trust tax framework, what she's describing is a responsibility funnel. It's not randomly distributed, it follows trust, experience, the ability to make sense of ambiguity, proximity to the people in charge. When uncertainty appears inside the organization, responsibility rarely follows the organizational chart. It follows whoever the system has learned will catch it. Rachel didn't choose to carry the weight of her organization. Her organization didn't hold a meeting and decide to load her. What happened is simpler and harder to argue against. She was capable, she was trusted, and so the unclaimed things kept finding her. That's not a compliment. That's a structural pattern with a thought. The Trust Tax Research Framework calls this responsibility routing, the invisible mechanism by which work, decision, coordination, and accountability naturally converge on the same people. The same people who would never describe themselves as overwhelmed because they're still delivering. If you're listening to this and you're still delivering, that's exactly who this is for.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

I was incredibly proud of those. I'd always have fresh flowers in my office, and you know, I made it a very nice environment for people to come and have meetings in. And as I say, in terms of, you know, I was a leader that cared deeply, felt a great deal of responsibility, and was also quietly struggling. And I'd become disconnected with myself. I was constantly reframing the stress that I felt to enable me to and that is why ultimately my body at the end of the day just went, This isn't you, you know, you you're not paying attention. I'm gonna, I'm gonna stop you, I'm gonna stop you in your in your tracks. But I did, I cared deeply about the organization, about the people, about the work that we were the work that we were doing. And I also wasn't able to show up truly as at my best because of the disconnection that I had.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Pause here for a moment because what Rachel just said is one of the most important things in this episode. And it went by quietly. She wasn't burned out, she was reframing. In the trust tax cascade, there are four stages. Absorption, where you're taking on more and more, still feeling very capable. Vigilance. That's when something feels off, but you're compensating. You're scanning for what could go wrong before anyone asks. You're waking up running, you're reframing the weight so you can keep moving. Disconnection, and then exit or erosion. Most organizations lose people at stage two, vigilance. While the dashboard still looks green. The person is performing, the team is delivering, nothing is on fire. But internally, it has started an ownership audit that never turns off. Rachel's body stopped that reframe before her mind could. Not everybody gets that moment. The question the trust text asks is what if you could see stage two before your body has to force the conversation? That's exactly what the Trust Tax diagnostic is built for. And I'll tell you more about that at the end of the episode. Wow. I I am hoping that people hear that. It's it is a message I hear from many people that go through this that they are disconnected. And most people who burn out just try to recover and move on. Just recover, like you said, get through the next launch, get to the next weekend. What made you stop even af after the collapse? You could have kept going. What made you stop and ask a different question?

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Honestly, I would describe that moment as if like life was hitting me around the face with a great big wet fish. I don't know why a great big wet fish, but it was kind of like this, you know, come on, girl. Wake up was was almost like the message. And it was so, so frightening and um so debilitating in that moment. That changed the question. And when I did eventually get up off the floor and I did eventually manage to start breathing again, the conversation in my head was this can't go on, this has to change. I have to do something. And that led me to speak to the my director. And over time, what we did was we reorganized the team, we set a new structure with the team, and we also got new resources into the team. And ultimately it meant that I took a step down and I took a and and I went back into the team. So the team that I had been leading, I actually took and that glass fronted office I mentioned, I was so proud of. I went back out into the open plan office. And with those changes came a deal of guilt and shame as well. You know, kind of which was interesting. I can remember and remember apologizing to our chief executive, feeling like I was a failure. And he was really kind because I can remember him looking at me and sort of going almost a little bit confused, as if he was sort of saying, Well, it wasn't you, Rachel, we let you down, the system let you down, the process let you like it wasn't this is not this is not all been entirely in your control. And that was that was deeply comforting. Not that anyone else knew I'd had that conversation, you know, in terms of everyone else around the organization, they could very much see, and you know, and I watched first of all a consultant go into that glass-fronted office, and then somebody from within the organization recruited to go into that office and then become my line manager. So that was all very, very interesting to deal with at the time.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Yeah, I can imagine how that could be. Um, I've had similar situations where somebody else, you know, ended up taking my leadership spot and then I was a supportive. In one situation, uh, that person's like, God, I feel like you're doing my job. I'm like, no, I'm not doing your job. I am supporting you so you can do your job better. Um, and that kind of helped me because I knew the pressure that came with that job. One of the things that you have talked about is the phrase of sustainable high performance. And that could mean so many things. What does that actually mean? And more importantly, what does it not mean?

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Sustainable high performance is that ability to be able to consistently show up at our best and to be and and at its root, that's about being connected to ourselves in terms of what we've been talking about. Our feelings are really, really useful signals. And when we can better recognize if you know, we feel off-kilter or not in a great place, and we can better understand how much of this is due to perhaps my biology or the physical environment, you know, like have I eaten, have I slept, have I, you know, the stuff that our grandmas would tell us, how much of how I'm feeling is related to that, very practical, and how much of it is related to the external people or things that might be causing an emotional dysregulation for me. And how much within that am I able to control, and how much of within that can I look to resolve so that I'm not regulating myself all the time. Because what I had done was I had spent, as I said, years regulating how I was feeling, whilst neglecting those practical things that my grandma would have told me, make sure you're taken care of, to the point that it led to, for me, it led to burnout. For others, that might look like challenges in, you know, kind of cognitive or metabolic function, it might look like quiet disengagement from what we're doing, it might look like an increase in our, you know, the the the way we perceive others perhaps more on threat alert. Um so it can show up in a number of different ways. It might look like departure for somebody else from an organization, but being tuned into what you know, I'm feeling something here, that's a really useful signal. What is that telling me and what action do I take so that I can continually show up at my at my best for myself, for whether that's family, our organizations, our wider communities, and you know, the world at large. I think there's a there's a huge cry for leaders who can do good in the world today, and leaders who are able to keep their heads high and their hearts open in spite of all of the rapid changes and uncertainty in terms of the context that many of us are operating in. So sustainably being able to show up at our best and stay connected so to ourselves and our values so that we have that clarity is what that means, is what that means to me.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Yeah. Um, I really appreciate that so many times, especially in the role that that I have as an executive leader, one of the things that is really important to me is understanding what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling about a situation, so that when it feels off, I can address it directly. And I I um do my very best to address it directly with if I have a situation that's wrong with the person that can control the situation, or if I have a problem with a person and how maybe they're handling something to address it directly with them privately in a respectful adult manner so we can solve the problem. And what I have found is that in doing so, other people will confide in me that they're worried about this or worried about that. I end up being a confidant and someone who tries to encourage them to address things.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

And I think it's important to say that that when we are addressing things like that, that it's not always a quick fix. And there's all I think it's it's also really useful to again be better understanding ourselves so that we can show us the right moment and enable others that freedom of choice as well to choose the right moment. Yes. To maybe have some of those discussions. And you know, I had I had one example. I was working with a recently appointed CEO, and he had a very difficult relationship with the chair of the board, and it was quite disruptive, and it took almost a year for that to be fully resolved, and that chairman did eventually exit from the board, but that took you know that that that's that wasn't a quick fix, and how we support one another during that time and how we keep focused on what we can control. And I think if we feel as though we are making s at least some progress towards these things, that's really helpful as well. But it was really, yeah, just just to share to for anyone listening is that recognition that yes, of course, some things can be resolved very quickly, but others can others can take time, and some things we may never be able to resolve. And in which case finding useful ways to reframe that and be able to, you know, live with that is is another is another helpful strategy.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Thank you so much for bringing that out. I think it's uh such an important point to know that some things just take some time and sometimes we'll never some things will never get resolved. Now you said the very things that make a leader valuable makes them vulnerable. And that kind of sounds cruel. Can you explain it a little? Before Rachel answers this, I want to give you a framework underneath it. The trust tax research identifies what it calls routable signals, the specific characteristics that influence the likelihood that invisible responsibility naturally moves towards you. Being outspoken so the system knows you'll move when the room gets quiet, managing ambiguity effectively so the system routes the unresolved things your way because you'll make sense of them. Being close to power, understanding how leadership thinks, so you're the one who picks up the gap without needing a briefing. These are organizational assets. Every one of them. Your organization selected for them. Your career advanced because of them. And here is the uncomfortable part. The same characteristics that make you valuable are the reasons the unclaimed work keeps finding you. Not because you're weak, not because you lack boundaries, because the system learned correctly that you'll catch it. This is the trust tax. Not paid in hours, paid in the bandwidth that was supposed to go somewhere else.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

So a lot of the leaders that I work with, as you can imagine, they're high achievers. They're high achieving people. They have been incredibly successful in their lives. They wouldn't have got to where they've got to if they weren't. And I also think that that can um have some traits that can that can be uh challenging. Often, you know, high achievers, they have very high standards for themselves. They are really good at reframing stress and being able to kind of push on through. They can also get quite addicted to the dopamine hit. So when they, you know, they they hit the project or they've done the conference or you know, they've got the tender, and you know, they've won that thing. And so that can become quite addictive, and then that can drive behaviors that can then lead to um the, you know, the the kind of the constant pushing of oneself, not listening or being connected, and ultimately trouble then later on, later on down the line. And the other thing I'll just very quickly add to that is that often high performers they'll associate themselves with a lot of other high performers. So they're in this, then they're in this environment where, well, hang on a minute, I've got peers and other people that are doing really well around me. So that kind of encourages even more of that. So um, yeah, that's just that's a pattern that I see and that I notice with um a lot of high achievers that I work with.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

I, you know, so now you're talking about the dopamine, and um, most people think leadership is just about mindset. You bring in neuroscience and biology. What does that change about the conversation when you're talking with folks? Gosh.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Well, it impacts, it impacts in such a deep and fundamental level. Um, so I do a lot of work with Professor Chris Beadie, and he is the founder of an organization called CHX Performance. He's a professor of evolutionary anthropology, cognition, and neuroscience here in the UK at Oxford and Kent University. And I've really, I just absolutely love uh his work because it comes back to everything. If I bring this back full circle to the original story and being on my you know office floor, comes back to I was ignoring the biology. I was ignoring all of that and do so at your your peril. Um we I think very often pay more attention to making sure that our phones and devices are well charged up than we do that we're charged up. And you know, you're we talk about the the biology of leadership. Well, how are we going to show up with clarity, with creativity, with empathy, with a bandwidth to deal with stress and strains and challenges and the capacity to deal with those things, you know, if we aren't eating regularly, hydrating, getting daylight, getting nature, getting movement, spending time with people who, you know, that that connection with others that can fill us up as well. And and add this lovely story from um, I was working with a an executive team recently, and they recognized that one of the things that they collectively did really poorly was movement. And so they paired them up so that they were working in in buddy pairs. And the idea was that they were to when they were in the office, they were gonna get out and walk and get some fresh air. And there was a there was a there was a couple that were buddying together, and one phoned the other one and just went, How are you getting on? I don't think I've got time to go for that that that walk today. It's scheduled like 20 minutes to go like out of the office and and round. And the other one went, Yeah, no, I don't I don't think I've got that time today either. Okay, but we know how important this is. So look, shall we just do five minutes? So they got their coats on, they left the office. Incidentally, someone else from the execs team saw them going and felt jealous because they were like, How have they got time to go out for that walk today? They got out, and once they were out, they were out for that 20 minutes that they had fully scheduled because as they were walking, they were realizing that they were getting greater clarity on their problems, that they were solving them with more creativity, and that they were genuinely, it was impacting their capacity to be able to perform better in their roles and as leaders by taking that time. But it so often feels counterintuitive to us as leaders to take that pause because we're like, but I've got to get this thing done and I've got to go to the next thing, and I've got to go to the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

That detailed jealousy is not a sidebar. That is stage two, vigilance showing up inside a team in real time. The person watching from inside the building didn't feel inspired that their colleagues were recovering. They felt something closer to a threat because somewhere in the system, rest had been coded as il-legitimate, as something other people get to do, as evidence that someone somewhere isn't carry what they're supposed to be carrying. That's what the trust tax research calls sustained vigilance, a form of cognitive load where the nervous system stays on alert, even when there's no immediate crisis. This is not anxiety, this is misplaced responsibility. It's the weight of unresolved ownership, showing up as a physical state, a scan that never fully powers down. The trust tax framework is clear. This is not a personal regulation problem. It's a structural signal. When the organization's most capable people feel guilty for a 20-minute walk, the system has normalized absorption as the standard. And that standard is quietly consuming the capacity the organization needs to execute, to innovate, and to keep those very people.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

So you were talking about the biology of it, and you know, for for you know, I I trust that that that that story is a is a little reminder of just how important that biology is to how we then show up. Our energy, our mood, and our bandwidth to be able to deal with the stresses, the chain strains, and the challenges that leadership brings every day.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

So a call out to the listener. So if you feel like you're overwhelmed with something and that you must stick to your desk, just get up and take a walk. The answer will come to you.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

Yeah. And that's hard in the moment. I recognize that's hard because the instinct is, I've got to keep going. I just don't have the time to do that. But even if it's literally five minutes around the block or to the end of the road or whatever it is. And I would encourage people to be a scientist of themselves with those things. Recognize the resistance to go and do it. Often resistance points the way. So go and experiment and see what don't take my word for it. Go and experiment and see does that help? Does it make a change? Is it is it better or not? And just be that scientist of yourself, particularly when it comes to that that you know, that biology. Excellent.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

So now if a leader is listening right now and they recognize themselves in the resistance, I don't have time for that. In what you're describing, what is the one thing that they can pro that they're probably doing this week that makes it worse?

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Ignoring. So ignoring the signal. I'm gonna come right back to that connection again. Ask yourself instead, what is this? Where's it coming from? Is this because I'm struggling or I haven't had enough sleep or actually I've not eaten properly today, or haven't been out and moved myself, haven't had daylight and let the sun, you know, come like come into my eyes and just enjoy that for a few. Is it that? Or is it because something or someone has triggered me and I just got something that I need to resolve? And is it a combination of both? Because of course those two things do interplay, but one we have potentially more control over. I know that sometimes it's not easy to control our sleep, and that can be that can be difficult, but one potentially we do have more control over than the other, and so really making sure that we are in our own personal ecosystems, right? As propped up as we can be is gonna be a really good place to start. Um, and really tuning into what are those signals telling you? What are those feelings, they're signals. So, what are they telling you? And therefore, what what is it then best to do about it?

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Okay, so that person's listening and they're starting to say, Okay, let's listen to those signals. What changes happen visibly day to day as a result?

SPEAKER_00 29:12

When you listen to those signals, you then have greater capacity to be able to deal with whatever is coming your way. So the challenges, the pressures, the strains, you have um an increased bandwidth, and you are enabling yourself to show up at your best in doing that. And that is why we're here.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

To help you be your best, to embrace that light within. What do you want a leader who just recognized themselves in this conversation to know? Not do, just know, before they close this episode.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

To know that you're not alone, to know that we are more alike than perhaps some of us think we are. I would want them to know that the answers are within. Closing thoughts for me are really just around that if we're gonna show up in the world as the leaders that our world needs right now, and whether that means you're leading your family or your organization or your community, the very best thing that we can do, and ultimately the only thing that we can control is how we show up ourselves. And that starts with that love and care for ourselves and being connected and tuned in to what your body, your heart, your mind is telling you they are important signals. Please listen to them. And if you're not sure how to read those signals, then reach out.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

There you go, because there isn't a check engine light, and having some help and reading those signals is important. Yeah. Thank you, Rachel, so much for joining us. I think this is the information you're bringing is so important, and I'm so grateful that you took that one event and turned it into a catalyst for so many to learn from.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

It's where so much of the beauty lies and the silver linings and the hindsight. And I trust if that little part of my journey can shed some light and help for others, I just appreciate the space that you're you you bring and enable us to be able to share these stories. So, Natalie, thank you so much. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Rachel said something near the end of this conversation that I want to stay with for just a moment. She said, the answers are within. I believe that. And I also want to offer you one more thing, because knowing the answers are within doesn't help if your brain won't quiet down long enough to hear them. If any part of this episode landed, if you recognize yourself in the reframing, in the weight that felt like yours to carry, in the body that started the conversation before your mind was ready, there's a specific reason some nights you cannot turn off. It's not anxiety, it's an ownership audit. Your brain is scanning for what is unresolved, what shifted, and what's still technically in your court, even though you left the building hours ago. That's not a sleep problem. That's a containment problem. I built a tool for exactly this moment. It's called Reset Tonight, a seven-minute leadership grade downshift, so you can sleep tonight. It doesn't ask you to pretend the work is finished. It helps your system put responsibility back where it belongs so you can sleep tonight without carrying what was never yours to carry past midnight. It's free and it's waiting for you at the unsealing zone. UN C E I L I N G Zone dot com backslash get to sleep. The link is in the show notes. If tonight's fine, but what's not fine is that you can't quite name the weight you're carrying, the Trust Tax Diagnostic will do that in five minutes. Free, immediate, no catch. It gives you a load score, your cascade stage, and a language to introduce the structural questions in your organization. That link is also in the show notes. Thank you for being here. Thank you to Rachel for bringing all of herself to this conversation. The floor, the guilt, the CEO who finally said it wasn't you. That moment matters, you matter, and the work of seeing clearly, that's where everything changes. I'll see you next time.