The Toxic Side of "Moving in Silence"

In this episode of Let’s Talk About It, we challenge the popular advice to "move in silence" and explore why this mindset can be toxic, especially in group dynamics. From deflecting attention to sabotaging support, we uncover how discouraging transparency often stems from personal insecurities and can harm collaboration and trust.

Through real-world examples and thoughtful insights, we’ll discuss the importance of celebrating achievements, fostering openness, and building environments where everyone can thrive together. Tune in as we unpack the hidden downsides of “moving in silence” and share actionable tips for creating healthier, more collaborative spaces. 

Transcript

Welcome to Let’s Talk About It—the podcast that shines a light on the art of interpersonal communication. From handling tough conversations to building stronger connections, we’re here to explore the skills that help you thrive in work, relationships, and beyond. So, grab your coffee, get comfortable, and let’s talk about it! 

Today's topic is about transparency in group settings. Here's a story to get started. I was working as a consultant on group collaboration for two companies in the middle of a high-stakes merger. The goal was to create a seamless transition by fostering trust and teamwork between the two organizations. During one of our joint meetings, a team member from one company proudly shared their recent success in streamlining a key process. Their enthusiasm was contagious—they had clearly put in a lot of effort and wanted to inspire the group with their progress.

Most of the room applauded the update, seeing it as a step forward for the merger. However, someone else interjected with, “That’s great, but maybe it’s better to move in silence. You don’t need to share every win.”

The comment caused a noticeable shift in the room. The person who had shared their achievement looked deflated, and the energy of the group seemed to waver. I couldn’t help but wonder why someone would discourage transparency, especially in a collaborative environment where openness is key to success.

While the phrase “move in silence” is often touted as sage advice, it can actually be a toxic trait, particularly in group dynamics. When people discourage others from sharing their achievements, it’s often rooted in their inability to handle seeing someone else thrive. Here’s why this mentality can be damaging:

Discouraging someone from sharing progress often shifts the focus away from their success. For some, this deflection is a way to avoid addressing their own insecurities or stalled progress, placing the spotlight elsewhere.

Public celebrations of progress can trigger feelings of inadequacy in others. Suggesting silence may be a way to suppress those comparisons, ensuring they don’t have to measure themselves against someone else’s achievements.

Sharing accomplishments fosters connection, support, and new opportunities. By encouraging someone to “move in silence,” it cuts off the potential for collaboration and recognition that could benefit the entire team.

In group settings, transparency and mutual encouragement are essential for trust and progress. Instead of silencing achievements, we should celebrate them, using those moments to inspire and strengthen the group. When team members feel safe to share their wins, it creates an environment where everyone can thrive.

The next time someone shares an accomplishment, resist the urge to dim their light with “move in silence.” Instead, celebrate their progress, encourage their openness, and recognize that their success contributes to the team’s overall growth.

Because in the end, collaboration is about thriving together—not competing in silence. So, let's continue to talk about it! Thanks for listening.