Emotions Unchecked

A single moment can reveal what a relationship has been hiding all along: fear, pressure, and a fuse that keeps getting shorter. We open with a clear-eyed look at the moral chaos many of us feel right now, then move straight into the crisis that’s too common to ignore domestic violence and intimate partner violence. The numbers are staggering, the victims are often young, and the silence around reporting makes the danger even harder to see.

We also get painfully personal. I share my own history with intimate partner violence, the loneliness of trying to make sense of warning signs, and the sobering truth that a restraining order can become paperwork without protection when someone is determined to harm you. You’ll hear how “mostly good” moments can keep a person stuck, how stress can trigger regression, and why there comes a point when wisdom has to outrank emotion even when love is still present.

From there, we step into a Christian framework for healing and emotional self-control. We walk through Jesus being tempted in the wilderness and what his responses teach us about resisting impulsive choices, spiritual manipulation, and the lure of quick relief. We ground everything in Scripture about God’s nature God is love, God is powerful, God is refuge and what God requires from us reverence and real faith that shows up in decisions.

If you’re wrestling with trauma triggers, relationship fear, or a heart that feels louder than your better judgment, press play. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway: what helps you choose truth when your emotions surge?

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Truth Drips | Motivational

Transcript

Welcome And The Fallen World

Dina LaFargue Augustin 0:00

Greetings and welcome to another episode of the Dripline, Healing for Your Soul, a place where one can contemplate the relevance of life, the purpose of one's life, answers to some of life's most common questions about self, destiny, and God, and hopefully find solace an d a sense of peace in a world engulfed with violence and confusion. In past episodes, I have discussed how immorality, an illicit sexual activity, has opened the door to many plagues over the world, how the most common human activity outside of marriage and the most common act of sin can create such a plethora of human ills. Again, more people engage in sexual activity outside of marriage on a daily basis than the number of thefts, robberies, scams, and murder put together. My point is our disorder creates more problems seen and unseen than we think. I've essentially led my listeners through time and how rebellion and apathy towards a loving God, human ego, patrilinealism, colonialization, sex trafficking, and self-medicating with sexual-activity has led to the downfall of stable societies. Of course, this may sound rather simplistic and generalized, but I suggest you listen to the past four or five episodes to gain a better understanding of my position. I mention all of this today because it is very obvious, more obvious than ever, that we live in a fallen and lost world, a world where ethics, moral values, and god's and nature's natural order are disregarded and abused more than ever. We live in a world where human life is valued less and justice is skewed. We live in a world where greed and marginalization trample upon the masses as individuals, in ever increasing numbers make their own rules based on their own myopic wants and ideals, thus becoming paramount and forced upon others, despite any consequences to the overall well-being of oneself or society or their own community. Yes, we indeed live in a world fraught with disillusionment, self-hate, and hopelessness, a world where emotions have run rampant to the demise of the world. It seems as if anything goes these days as long as it's pleasing to one's soul. Anything goes as long as one can satisfy self. Anything goes as long as it seems to muffle or dampen the pain within. We live in a world where emotions are not checked and where emotions are acted out, and our emotions are taken out. We essentially take out our frustrations and fears on anyone and everywhere in any way and seem to think it's okay. We are forced to witness lawlessness and emotions gone wild, and more often people are becoming the victim of someone else's problems. As a matter of fact, in the past couple of weeks in my own community in South Florida, people have suffered multiple attempted and successful murders related to domestic and intimate partner violence. According to the FBI, violence among married and non-married couples of all ages is increasing year by year, and the numbers of younger victims

Domestic Violence Numbers And Reality

Dina LaFargue Augustin 4:05

is included an d increasing. The latest FBI records record 63% of victims of relational violence were just 17 to 19 years old. 42% of offenders were only 18-19 years old. And 79.2% of those victims were female. Domestic violence statistics in the United States? Well, it remains a widespread and serious public health and safety issue, that is, domestic violence. In the US, domestic violence is affecting millions of people each year. Nearly every one in two women, meaning 49%, and more than two in five men, 40 to 47%, report experiencing intimate partner violence, also known as IPV, at some point in their lives. One in four women and one in seven men have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner. Over 47% of women have encountered contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. And almost 40 million women have been slapped, pushed, or shoved by an intimate partner. Nearly half of all women report experiencing psychological aggression from an intimate partner. Annual impact? Well, statistics state that more than 16 million people in the U.S. suffer from intimate partner violence each year. Every minute, about 32 people experienced intimate partner violence. And in 2007, 24% of female homicide victims were killed by a spouse or ex-spouse. By 2019, nearly four women were murdered by daily intimate partners. Demographics, 85% of domestic violence victims are women. Around 75% of fatal victims of domestic violence are women. In 2020 and 2024, FBI data states that over 11,000 domestic violence murder victims and 1,1 million domestic violence victims were reported. Nearly 75% of these victims were female. Other notable facts: nearly 15% of women and 4% of men have been injured as a result of intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence disproportionately affects women. But yes, men are also at significant risk more than before, especially of severe physical violence. These statistics underscore the scale and severity of domestic violence in the U.S., highlighting the urgent need for prevention, intervention, and support services. Now, mind you, many people never ever even report any incidents of domestic or intimate partner violence. Those numbers are alarming and scary enough. And when I searched the Florida Department of Children and Family Services website for more insight, this message popped up first in a big bold red box. It said," Warning, your abuser may monitor your internet use and may be able to view your computer activity. If you have reason to believe that your computer is not secure, you may wish to use a computer in another location to which your abuser does not have access." That is alarming. Now most crime is committed because someone has failed to check themselves, meaning someone either feels justified in committing the crime and so fulfills their desire for retribution. That person feels no remorse and feels there's no need or obligation to refrain from their violence. They have a propensity to do wrong and are satisfied by when they feel they have committed payback. On the other hand, the perpetrator fails to exert self-control over their own emotions because the harm done to

When Abusers Monitor Your Life

Dina LaFargue Augustin 8:35

them is bigger than their own emotional capacity to absorb the pain. I hope you're following me. The suffering that they've endured has penetrated their heart to the degree that the pain is no longer able to be contained and spills over into acts of retaliation, acts of revenge, and violent outbursts. The outcome and repercussions aren't considered by the perpetrator because their need to express and vent are more important. No matter how long ago the incident happened, no matter how long ago the trauma occurred in their life, something was never healed in them, and triggers create the incidence of violence. My point today is that we cannot live in our emotions. We cannot afford to make emotional decisions, and we most definitely need to anchor ourselves in Christ. It is not enough to say we believe He existed. It is not enough to go to church. It is not enough to read the Bible on our own without the proper understanding. And it is not enough to believe you are saved and will go to heaven. It is not enough to pray for what you want. It is not enough to believe He died for your sins. All of that is superficial. What is required is active faith. We have to be locked in and anchored in Christ. If not, temptation will indeed carry us away. If not, the things of this world, the voice of rebellion, will have its way as we succumb to its influences. Ultimately, the seed of evil that was planted within our souls with Satan's deception in the garden will be unleashed. James chapter 1, verse 14 in the Bible reads, But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 1John chapter 16 in the Bible reads, For everything in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life comes not from the Father, but from the world and the world essentially means sin nature.

Why Unhealed Pain Becomes Violence

Dina LaFargue Augustin 10:59

Hence, we must work to contain the beast of sin that fights for our attention and loyalty. For the sake of living a better life, a quality that is unsurpassed, it is in our best interest to allie ourselves with Jesus, our creator, the one who died that we might live. Real faith in Him does not wane. Real faith believes no matter what. And real love fights. It is real faith that says above all else and beyond my emotions, my God is this, my God is what he says he is, my God says this, and his word is true, and my God requires such and such because he knows what is best. And I must come into an active agreement with him in order to reflect his image and live by faith and not by sight. And I will detail what things God is and what things God says and requires a bit later. But first, I'm going to share a bit of my own history. I have been a victim myself of domestic violence, of intimate partner violence, and it can be a lonely place. And I will admit I had warnings, but I was too wrapped up in it to leave it behind. And I also realized that an order of protection was useless as a means of protection. There were many things that happened in this relationship, good and bad, and mostly the good kept me. And some of you might argue, but I think you'd have to be there to understand. As I was saying, orders of protection and restraining orders really only serve as evidence

My Story Of Intimate Partner Violence

Dina LaFargue Augustin 12:40

that you need protection from a particular person, but they can't stop that person from getting to you. So, many times, even though a person has a restraining order, the victim might end up dead or hunted down anyway. Hopefully, the person will live through the retaliation because many partners don't let restraining orders or protective orders stop them. If that person is really out of control, they will come after the victim again and again and again. Now, my memories include sustained bruises and having to flee in the night without warning. Now they are far, far behind me, but the scars still remain. My relationship was not one where I lived in constant fear, nor did I live under the thumb of a jealous control freak. No, it was different. And I'm not justifying anything. But hypocrisy was not the issue. My partner knew, my husband knew, that he was in need of help. And we both sought it together. We worked at it with counselors from time to time. But yes, he was not saved. He did not comprehend the love of Christ until later. In the meantime, he hated himself. And being a combat veteran, his gun was his God. I never protected my abuser, so to speak, but I never called the police because I knew I wasn't ready to leave and that that wouldn't be the solution. So why bother? Why bother the police and go through the drama and the trauma only to return? Surely, I said, I would be creating more problems for myself and him and wasting the officer's time. I knew deep inside the beast in him would be set ablaze if I did call the police. So I calculated my options, I calculated my risk, and I calculated best outcomes for my life. Eventually, he gave his life to Christ completely, and peace reigned in our relationship for a good time. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until the Lord dealt with me and overcame me that peace reigned in me and translated into his life. I became a minister, and he received Christ into his heart and became a man of peace. The beast that once rose up once or twice a year stopped appearing. That beast disappeared. The transformation was phenomenal in both of us. Was everything perfect? No, but it was better indeed. As tensions rose on his job and as faith was tested, I could eventually see that his relationship with God was cracking. I could see and feel that he was starting to regress, and I became angry about it. He was reverting back to his own devices and his own understanding of how to handle things. And one day, as a result of issues on the job and his own frustrations, he put a hole in the wall, right through the wall above my head. I dropped to the floor. I was heartbroken. The decision was mine to make. It was time to go. We had actually already divorced, but had reconciled to remarry. But now that was off the table. Proverbs 14, verse 12 says, There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. So what he thought was right was wrong. And if I felt staying would be right at that point, I was wrong. So my husband fell victim to his anger again and to his fears and to his emotions. Those emotions began to rule under the pressure and the dangers he faced every day on the job. As a result, he wanted me to respond in like manner. And when I didn't, he thought I had abandoned him. I was not going to feed his demons or acquiesce to his demands. To him, because of that, I was no longer the woman he married. I was no longer his true friend, his ride or die. He said I betrayed him. He called me a liar. And those words were like knives in my heart. I felt like my heart was bleeding. After all, by that time we were almost together for 18 years. There was a shift in the atmosphere. He was slipping away. He was regressing indeed back to the man before he knew God. The manipulation and the emotional abuse returned. It became intolerable. His way would be the solution for us, or nothing. In his mind, his way of handling the pressures that he was under was more appetizing instead of taking the matter to the Lord and waiting for his guidance and divine intervention. Yes, things were serious in our lives. We were both under pressure from our jobs, being minorities in a white man's world and dealing with all the pressures that come with it. It was sad to see our demise. Things were intense. People died, people went to jail, people were fired, people committed suicide, people lost their jobs. It was no joke. Those years were overcome with darkness. Justice was needed for both of us, but the anger that manifested and the frustration that was displaced on me was intolerable. So I prayed and supported him as best I could under the circumstances, but I refused to be the brunt of his frustration and manipulation. It was enough, and God had said so. Now God warns us about knowing him and yet setting him aside, right? 2 Peter verse 2, chapter, I'm sorry, 2 Peter chapter 2, verses 20 through 22 read, For if after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome. The last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them. Their dog returns to its own vomit, and the soul, after washing herself, returns to the wallow in the mire. That was the fear I had for my husband, that he was returning to the enemy of his soul and the ways of darkness instead of trusting in the Lord and his faithfulness. Long story short, I needed a means, but now by that time my finances were low and I felt stuck. It took God speaking to my lady pastor and mentor at the time to help free me from the oppression that was trying to own me and him again. God gave me the push and the financial help I needed through her support and intercession and intervention, and I took it. All other options were off the table at this point. I left. Once with Christ, always with Christ as my motto. When you turn away, you leave the door open for worse to come. And I was not at that point to take that chance. I was done. Therefore, my time in this relationship was over. I knew it was the end of the line and that my spouse had to work out his salvation without me. It was one of the most painful times. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. I loved him and I loved him deeply. But my ex had to figure this chapter out with God, between he and God, and not with me. If I had stayed, I would have been in the way and would only be there any longer to my own demise. I would definitely be outside of God's will, and I couldn't risk that. I couldn't stay a minute longer. Once told and once accepted of that fact, I was intentional to hear and obey. I was all about following God's lead and walking through that open door. So wisdom and God's intervention won, not my emotions, not my heart, and not my love for my ex-husband. I left unannounced one bright day and moved to an undisclosed location. I lived in a hotel for about 10 months with my two cats, leaving the other three less needy ones behind. Yes, he happened to be an animal lover, so they were safe. I didn't have to worry about my fur babies. And once things settled over the months, communication was reopened, but I never returned. A friendship of sorts remained, but a marriage would never be. Our divorce was quick and amicable. We had vowed to never be vindictive to that point of going too far. We weren't going to go tit for tit, even though our lawyers tried to create more animosity, seeking more damages for both of us. We eventually fired them, vowing a peaceful end instead of trying to destroy one another. Emotions were not an option at that point. Equity and fair play were the rule. As I reflect back, I see how angry I was for various reasons and how even though my spouse had become a recovering abuser through Christ, he reverted back to his flesh when the stresses of his career became bigger than his faith. Since then, we have both grown. And we have both moved forward. Each day with my hand in the Lord's, each day thanking God for his mercy. And he showed it to both of us. Each day looking forward to what's next. I move forward each day realizing how faithful God is to provide, how faithful he is to his word and to his promises, how faithful he is to lead and guide, to heal and to save us. I reiterate my point. We should not live in our emotions. We can have them, but they cannot and should not rule us. We cannot afford to make emotional decisions. What we must do is to remind ourselves that God is our best solution. His wisdom never fails, and our faith in him is necessary to bring about the best results. He tells us that we must live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God to not just accept his existence, but to live in him. There is a difference. The history of Jesus and the beginning of his ministry

Leaving With Wisdom Not Emotion

Dina LaFargue Augustin 24:05

begin in the desert. Jesus was fasting for 40 days, and during that time Satan came after him, especially at his weakest point. But God sustained him. Jesus repeatedly reminded himself and the enemy that God is the author and finisher, that God is his sustainer, and that in God he would be victorious. The Holy Spirit led Jesus into the desert, and there the devil tempted him, reads the gospel. After forty days and forty nights of going without eating, Jesus was hungry. The tempter came to him and he said, If you are indeed the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread. And Jesus answered, It is written, man must not live only on bread alone, but he must also live on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Then the devil took Jesus to the holy city, and he had him stand on the highest point of the temple, and he said to him, If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. It is written, Jesus says, The Lord will command his angels to take good care of you. They will lift you up in their hands, then you won't trip over a stone. That was Satan reading the word of God out of Psalm ninety one. And then Jesus answered him, It is also written, Do not test the Lord your God. Finally, the devil took Jesus to a very high mountain, and he showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said, If you bow down and worship me, I will give you all of this. And Jesus said to him, Get away from me, Satan. It is written, Worship the Lord your God. He is the only one you serve. Then the devil left Jesus, and angels came and took care of him. So let's consider this episode in Jesus' life as his ministry on earth began. The devil came as he comes to us, but Jesus reminded himself and reminded Satan that God, that truth is the real food of life, that the command of God, the teachings, and the living word is what we are to live on. When Satan tempted Jesus to ask God to prove himself by throwing him off the cliff, that would have been an act of grandeur or an act of the spectacular. And Jesus reminded Satan that God is not a God for

Jesus Resists Temptation In The Desert

Dina LaFargue Augustin 26:40

performance sake, but a God of sincerity and genuine love, that God's acts are acts of splendor and the spectacular for our own well-being, for healing and salvation. That God will not and should not be provoked by the devil to do what is not God's will, but to understand God's intention, to wait for his timing and to recognize his acts are to usward, purposeful in the well-being of the world, and not empty acts that have no benefit to one's soul. God does and God does for us. He responds to those in need and not to frivolous acts and challenges to prove himself. He knows who he is and he doesn't have to prove himself to us. God is intentional in everything, in everything and in all things that do glorify him, but at the same time edify his people. And the last temptation that Satan brought forth well its about all things worldly. Satan said, He is the one who owns and runs things on the earth, and if we only commit to him, we can have our heart's desire. Well, in a sense, Satan is right. He did have authority over a time, but once Jesus came into the world as a man, the authority was turned over to mankind once again. So, in eternity and in the eternal things, Satan is a liar and a deceiver. We have all things through Christ Jesus. We are partakers and we are heirs in Christ Jesus when we receive him as our Savior. So, here it is essential to understand how and why we were created and in understanding our position in Christ. We do not bow to Satan, but we are to recognize and remember in Christ we are inheritors of the kingdom. We are indeed part of the body of Christ. We are indeed a royal priesthood. We are indeed heirs and own all things through him, being part of him, as we accept him as Lord and Savior. The fact is we must be positioned properly in him. It is in being positioned properly in him that we know that in seeking him and asking him and in knocking on his door, we can find, we can have, and we can walk through those doors of opportunity and victory despite any situation or circumstance. We must work out our salvation in reverence, reverencing God, recognizing his sovereignty and his unending love for us. We need not live in fear, we need not live in doubt, we need not be in confusion or live in our reckless emotions. When we pray, we need to pray believing in him and in who he says he is and who he says we are in him. We must believe we are his beloved and that we have a place in his heart and in his kingdom. The kingdom for now is here. We rule over our bodies and our souls, but above all in spirit we dwell in him in high places. Listen to his words. Ephesians chapter 4, verse 14 through 16 says, On growing into Christ, we are to grow in every way into him, so that together we may no longer be like children tossed about by every wind of doctrine. So this calls for maturity and aligning our lives with God's truth rather than being swayed by our emotions. Psalm 42 verse 5 reads, Why are you downcast, my soul? Why so disturbed? Hope in God, for I will again praise him, my salvation and my God. This verse in Psalm 42 demonstrates that the psalmist is choosing to trust God despite any emotional distress. And Jeremiah chapter 17, verse 9 reads, The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick. Who can understand it? And in this verse, we are reminded that feelings are not always reliable, but God's word is the ultimate standard of our life. So in knowing him, we can know his nature and we can understand the challenges that we have being in this world and being apart from him. Now remember at the beginning of the podcast, I said it is real faith that says above all else and beyond our emotions, my God is this, and my God says this, and my God requires such and such, and I must come into an act of agreement with him in order to reflect his image and live by faith and not by sight. Well, here are the words. Here is what God is, here is what God says, and here is what God requires of us. God is love. First John chapter 4, verse 16. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. God is limitless in his understanding of all things. Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

Who God Is And What He Requires

Dina LaFargue Augustin 32:20

God is all powerful. Jeremiah thirty two verse seventeen. Ah, Lord God, it is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power, and by your outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. Psalm one hundred forty seven verse five. Great is our Lord and mighty in power, his understanding has no limit. God knows us and is all knowing. Psalm one hundred thirty nine verses one and two. You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You knew and you know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. God is our protector and helper. In Psalm forty six, God is this. God is our refuge and strength and ever present help in the time of trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give away and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Verse 7 goes on to say, The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars to cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. Verse 10, he says, Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. And in verse 11 it reads, The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress. God is our refuge, God is our ever-present help in the time of trouble. God is the answer to any problem that we may face, and He is the Almighty One, able to save. Hence, what do we have that we need to fret about? Nothing. What do we have to do to overcome? Believe. We need not be disturbed to the point of self-destruction. We do not have to live in violence and in the expression of it when we have a living and all-powerful God waiting for us to accept him and for us to dwell in his presence, for he welcomes us. So why do we live in brokenness with fractured minds that have broken under trauma and tribulation? We do not have to. What we must do is live in wholeness, and that is in the truth of God and in his promises, being faithful. God says to us as a reminder, though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you. And that's written in Isaiah chapter 54, verse 10. I read the word of God because it is his word that is swift and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, to dividing of our soul and spirit, our marrow and bone, discerning our hearts and minds. So it reads in Isaiah 41, chapter 10, Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, and I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Joshua 1 9 says, Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous, do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. What does God require of us? Reverence. Fear of God is reverence, an acknowledgement of his supremacy and godship. Psalm 103, verse 13 reads, As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. God requires faith, not just belief, but faith proves our believing in him. Hebrews eleven verse six without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Matthew 21, verse 22, and whatever you ask in prayer you will receive if you have faith. Romans ten seventeen, so faith comes by hearing and hearing through the word of Christ. Again about reverencing God, Colossians three, verse seventeen says, and whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Deuteronomy chapter ten verse twelve and now Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. 1st Timothy 1 verses 17, To the king of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God be all glory and honor forever and ever. Amen. Therefore, in closing, let's be careful to honor God, inquire of God, accept God, trust God, and allow Him and His regenerative power through the Holy Spirit comfort us, strengthen us, and heal us of every affliction and pain. Let us allow God to heal us of all ills and wounds of our souls so that the quality of our lives will reflect his awesome goodness and faithfulness. The key? We have to not just believe, but to trust and wait on his perfect will to be done in us as we allow him to lead, guide, and heal us in our brokenness.

Trust God For Healing And Peace

Dina LaFargue Augustin 38:35

God is faithful, and he is able to do exceedingly and abundantly in our lives. Lamentations chapter three, verse twenty two and twenty three, because of the Lord's great love we are now consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. Hebrews seven verse twenty five, therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Hear those words. There is a God that lives for his people, that loves the world, and will save anyone that desires him. He is right there waiting to help and to heal. In closing, and until next time, be saved, be blessed, be in him, be at peace, and be filled with faith, being patient and self-controlled, because he died and lives for you. Truth Drips!