S2E9: Made In A Lab vs. Made By Surprise - Our Different Paths to Motherhood

One of us was told she was miscarrying—without test results. The other became a mom through IVF. From false alarms to fertility clinics, we're sharing real birth stories, motherhood journeys, and how there's no one way to become a mom. Perfect for listeners navigating TTC, IVF, or pregnancy curveballs.

Transcript

Tessie (00:01.996)
Hi, welcome back to Pearls of Motherhood. I'm your host Tessie.

Diana (00:08.68)
Today's episode is a little bit of science, a little bit of surprise, and a whole lot of love. We're pulling back the curtain on our very different roads to pregnancy. One with charts and injections and multiple timers and one that started with wait, what?

Tessie (00:26.126)
We're calling this one some assembly required, because it's, let's be honest, growing a human is never simple. And so whether it's through IVF or just unexpected blessing or planning it and all the anticipation, like there's no one size fits all journey to becoming a mom.

Diana (00:46.92)
So grab your coffee and settle in. We're talking about the hope, the heartbreak, the hormones, and the sometimes hilarious cravings that got us through it all.

Tessie (00:57.582)
Because no matter how you got here, if you're building a family, you're not alone. So let's start with mom facts and book corners.

Diana (01:09.096)
So, mom facts. Microchimerism is your baby's love letter to you. Did you know that, moms? So, I know, right? So here's what happens. During pregnancy, a teeny tiny number of your baby cells, the actual DNA, crosses the placenta and enters your bloodstream. And instead of leaving after birth, they actually stay, like for years. Researchers have found that fetal cells in moms'

Tessie (01:16.079)
yeah

Diana (01:38.642)
brains, lungs, skin, and even their hearts decades after the gave birth. And these aren't just like hitchhikers. Some of them actually help repair tissue, especially after injury or stress. Your baby might literally be part of what heals your heart, like scientifically. And what's wild is that these cells aren't even limited to like full term births. There's actually evidence that show up even after miscarriage or pregnancy loss.

And that really blew me away. So every, every pregnancy leaves a little something on us, not just our hearts and minds, but literally on our DNA. Some scientists are even exploring whether this microscopic baby DNA could play a role in immunity or autoimmune diseases. So yeah, your child might still be arguing with your body from the inside years later. That makes a lot of sense. But to me, it's...

Tessie (02:31.147)
you

Diana (02:34.696)
It's kind of poetic, Like your baby leaves behind a microscopic, cellular love letter to you. And it's just one more reminder that motherhood rewires you, body and soul, and apparently cell by cell.

Tessie (02:49.184)
Wow, that's amazing.

Diana (02:51.506)
I thought that was pretty cool.

Tessie (02:56.002)
So in book corners, this week we're gonna cover a book that's like not for our kids. my gosh, we're not focusing on our kids. We actually get to cover a book for us. And if you've been listening to our podcast, like you know, we're not like a huge fan of parenting books per se, you know, but this one I actually kind of got some nuggets out of.

Diana (03:04.808)
Really?

Tessie (03:24.652)
I definitely don't endorse everything that they talk about in it and I haven't finished it in full disclosure, but I feel like I did get a lot out of so far what I've read and it's called What a Difference a Mom Makes. And for all of you boy moms out there, it's specifically geared towards like what a difference a mom makes in a boy's life, like raising a boy child.

If you're looking for something to read and or maybe you're just looking for some advice on how to be a boy mom because we're all girls, this is a great book.

Diana (04:01.467)
You

That's awesome. I wonder if they make one for girl moms.

Tessie (04:07.96)
looked and I don't think so. I don't know though. Yeah, but that's I feel like I looked, you know, because since I had it, I obviously had a girl. Yeah, I don't think so. But it's also written by a man. So I feel like he couldn't necessarily write a book about. I don't know. I feel like it's more relevant that he's writing a book about like being a little boy and like how important his mother was and like certain things that she would say to him and you know what I mean?

Diana (04:10.792)
Hello?

Diana (04:37.704)
Tessie (04:37.932)
What is it like being a little boy? They actually supposedly really worship their mom. And it's so true. Like I can relate to all of these things that he's talking about in the book because they want to be your hero. They want to be strong for you. And just all of these things that boys are so different than girls. Girls just want to argue with us and be sassy and boss us around.

Diana (04:47.879)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (04:52.584)
Aww.

Diana (05:01.99)
Yes, yes.

Tessie (05:03.662)
At at my age of girl.

Diana (05:06.992)
Mine too. Her favorite thing right now is, nah-uh, or I know I don't, no I won't. I'm like, okay, great. I know where that comes from. That's my face. That's awesome.

Tessie (05:16.686)
Yeah, I feel this is so funny. Like I feel like my boys do worship me want me to be happy live for my happiness. They really do. And then my girl she's like, always in a power like no, I'm the boss here. I'm the boss here. Like you're not the boss. And then this is really horrible. Like I said one time to my husband, you're annoying.

And now she says that to everybody, especially me. You're annoying. You're annoying.

Diana (05:53.756)
to be the cutest thing in the world, you need to record that and then play it back to her when she's older. You should. It's great ammunition.

Tessie (05:58.676)
I should huh? It's so funny.

Tessie (06:05.398)
It's a great reminder to like really watch what you say around kids because I cannot get this out of her head. like it's her favorite saying, I swear.

Diana (06:15.784)
I'm sure that in what a difference a mom makes in your book, that doesn't happen. It sounds like a love letter to a mom, like, you're wonderful. I worship you.

Tessie (06:20.674)
Uh-uh.

Tessie (06:27.222)
Yeah, well that's from a boy's perspective.

Diana (06:30.056)
Yeah. Well, I think it's a great perspective. think I definitely I would be interested in reading it to see like what I can get out of it for my girl. Maybe. Maybe I'll maybe it'll apply to me, too. We'll see. I'll go pick that up. Thank you. OK, so let's get into it. Some assembly required our pregnancy stories. So as you guys know,

Tessie (06:40.344)
Mm-hmm. Maybe.

Yeah, never know.

Diana (06:59.2)
My journey here to motherhood was a lot of calculation, a lot of waiting, a lot of heartache and some IVF. Tessie, what's your road to motherhood? What's it like?

Tessie (07:14.638)
So it's so funny, like I just assumed that I was just going to have a honeymoon baby, you know what I mean? Like we're like, okay, well, this is how babies are made. We're married now and this is what we're going to do. And then we're going to have a baby. It's like, no, that didn't happen. So it actually took like a good year and a half, you know, like total ups and downs for that. And it was not.

good for our relationship, I would say, because I'm a very impatient person. And when I want something, I want it now. I'm not that way so much now because I've had children and I realized that that's not feasible in life. But especially back then, before I was a mother, know, I just expected like, this is how you have babies, we're gonna do this and we're gonna have a baby. And then it like wouldn't happen month after month after month.

Diana (07:47.132)
Really?

Tessie (08:12.942)
after a month and I was like, what is going on here? You know, I want what I want. And so yeah, we're doing it. Like what's going on? So I'd get mad at my husband, thinking he was sabotaging it. Like you're sabotaging it. You don't want to have a baby. That's what's going on. I would totally turn on him and he's just over here like exhausted. Like, oh, I don't know what else to do.

Diana (08:16.376)
Mm-hmm.

We're doing it right.

Tessie (08:44.014)
So I actually, obviously looking back now, 100%, it all happened in God's time and in the perfect time for us because in that year and a half, regardless of all the ups and downs and everybody else around us getting pregnant and us being disappointed, all that stuff that comes with it, we got to travel, we did multiple cruises. These are some of the best memories of my life. We did a second honeymoon.

Just all these things that we probably wouldn't have done maybe, I don't know. But all these things that we actually got to experience just as a married couple. And we got to have that time to just be married and just us and enjoy our lives together. Like as a couple, you know? And.

Diana (09:29.672)
Mm hmm. Yeah. It was it was it happened when it was meant to be.

Tessie (09:35.534)
It did. It totally did. It did. So, well, it finally did happen. I don't know how much detail you want me to go into, like, do you want me to go into when I found out or?

Diana (09:47.186)
Like, yeah, so share with us how, do you remember how you told your husband, like for your first one, how did that happen?

Tessie (09:53.656)
yeah.

Okay, so we're talking about my first one. Yeah. So it's so funny because at the time my husband, he was doing this traveling job. And so he would be out of town a lot too. And I would just be at home like playing with our kitty cat and stuff. And I, it was a weeks, like a week before or something, something major crazy was going on with me. Like I thought I was dying. Like I was like,

just having some crazy health issues. So I go to the doctor, I'm like, what is going on? I guess I just assumed it was a really bad UTI. That's what we thought it was. no, come to find out, it was actually all of the blood from the implantation had flowed out into my bladder. My bladder had absorbed it, because it flowed out.

Diana (10:51.782)
What? That can happen?

Tessie (10:55.284)
I guess it was crazy.

Diana (10:58.642)
So what sort of symptoms were you having? Were you like having to use a bathroom a lot?

Tessie (11:04.834)
Basically, the only symptom I had was like, was literally urinating blood, like urinating blood. So this is why we thought, yeah, this is why we thought like, my God, this is a major bad UTI, which I like never get UTIs. So that was strange. So went to the doctor and they like didn't even do a pregnancy test. They just put me on antibiotics and ran a test for a UTI. Yeah, which is kind of like annoying to me.

Diana (11:08.904)
my gosh, that's terrifying.

Diana (11:27.143)
What?

Tessie (11:31.404)
because I took an entire week of antibiotics and then they called me and said that the test result was negative. So to me, this is so weird. I feel like this was my first like episode or whatever of motherly instincts because I had no reason to take a pregnancy test and I did because I was like, okay. I mean, I had reason like I.

Diana (11:35.666)
Yeah.

Diana (11:52.092)
Yeah.

Tessie (11:56.994)
I just don't know why like in that moment I decided to, okay, well, let's see this what's it is, you know, like I just got a feeling and come to find out it was positive and my husband was out of town. So I was home alone and I freaked out. I didn't even know what to do. So I like called my friend Courtney and was like, what do I do?

Diana (12:02.344)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (12:20.672)
I can't believe this, you know, like I wanted it so bad for like a year and a half and then all of a sudden when I had it I panicked and freaked out and was like, my god, is this really what I want? You know, then I'm like, my god, am I having buyers or more? Should I really do be doing this? Like, am I an adult enough? All these thoughts in my head, you know, and so then I did call my husband and I did tell him over the phone, but I can't remember if it was like FaceTime or it might have been FaceTime. I'm sure it was.

Diana (12:39.196)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (12:50.742)
And he was like super happy, obviously. He's like, finally. Yeah. Yeah, I calmed down. And then I told him and then he's probably like, finally, my crazy wife is going to go away because she finally got what she wanted. And like, she's going to stop. Lo and behold, that he didn't know that I was just going to get even crazier. Like he thought that I was crazy then, right? Like, I want a baby.

Diana (12:53.49)
Wait, did you calm down? Did you calm down before you called him?

Tessie (13:20.046)
No, this got worse. But yeah, so I mean, that was my first experience.

Diana (13:27.24)
But I mean, Tess, you couldn't have been that crazy because he got you pregnant four more times. So if you weren't that bad, you weren't that bad. Come on.

Tessie (13:34.082)
I know either that or like maybe he's learned to love crazy. I don't know. That's debatable. But so here's yeah, he loves him. He loves me. Yeah. So then after that, once we found out, you know, I went I was going to totally go like the medical route. I went I made an appointment with an OB and they got me in in like three weeks later.

Diana (13:42.082)
You're kind of crazy. He loves you're kind of crazy.

Tessie (14:01.204)
And when I went in, I was like peeing crazy amounts of blood. Like there was like crazy amounts of blood in my urine sample, apparently. And so they were like, OK, well, this is not good. This is not a good sign. Let's send you for an HCG test and we'll see what it because I had already taken one. So we were going to see if it was doubling like it's supposed to. And.

Diana (14:19.549)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (14:26.16)
And for our listeners, HCG is your pregnancy hormone to track the level of it and ensure that you're still pregnant or how the pregnancy is going.

Tessie (14:34.892)
Yeah, it's like, it's the blood test. Like if you've ever had a blood test for pregnancy, that's what that is. And you can track it throughout your pregnancy and at certain intervals, it's supposed to be a certain number. So we had already done that before. So then they were like, okay, let's track it. Then they called me the next day and they were like, well, we're pretty sure you're miscarrying. And I was like,

Diana (15:00.904)
you

Tessie (15:04.718)
Okay, that's not very nice. And so I was like, well, actually, they called me this before they had the results of the blood test. So I was like, I'm actually gonna wait. Yes, I was like, I'm actually gonna wait for the results of the blood test. And lo and behold, I got them. Everything was fine. It was the right number. had done what is like, clearly I wasn't.

Diana (15:12.712)
What?

Tessie (15:29.014)
And I was like so mad. I was like I can't believe they would call me and tell me that without having any definitive proof. Like they didn't even wait for the results. What? I was just like flabbergasted, totally. And literally in that moment I was like, yeah, I'm going to go to a midwife. And five babies later I'm about to give birth to my fifth baby at home. So that worked out very well.

Diana (15:39.058)
That's insane.

Diana (15:49.444)
Hahaha

Diana (15:57.832)
So just going back, I wanted to know when they told you, we're pretty sure you're miscarrying. What were your thoughts? Did you think, were you sad? Were you shocked? Were you happy? Did you, like, all I can think about is like that clip from Friends when Rachel thinks that she's pregnant and Phoebe reads it and says, oh no, it's negative. And she lied about it just to see how she would react, to see how Rachel would react. And it turns out.

Tessie (16:24.334)
Mmm.

Diana (16:26.056)
she was really sad and then Phoebe goes, oh no, just kidding. I just wanted to see what you would do. It turns out you really want it. Did you have those feelings when you thought that you were miscarrying?

Tessie (16:39.19)
No, I actually didn't believe them because I'm a very skeptical. I don't I don't trust people to begin with. And I was like, I really don't know how like your what you're basing that on, you know, because we haven't even seen the results. So I just told my husband I was sad because I was like, it could be true. Like in the back of my mind, it could have been true. So there was like that sad that like aspect of like, well, that sucks if that's true. But I was like, no, I'm just going to like wait and see. And

Diana (16:43.208)
You

Diana (17:04.36)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (17:09.58)
You know, I don't know, just, maybe it was that first motherly instinct I had, but I just didn't believe it was true. So I was like, I don't know if I believe you.

Diana (17:16.488)
Yeah.

Diana (17:19.784)
think that's wild because I feel like that's out of protocol for so many things. I know when I go to my primary care doctor, the first thing they do because I'm a woman of childbearing age is pee in a cup and they immediately run a pregnancy test before they do anything else. And that's wild to me. then whoever says, oh yeah, I'm going to call a person, a patient with this preconceived

Tessie (17:37.334)
Yeah. Yeah.

Tessie (17:47.405)
Yeah

Diana (17:48.632)
notion of bad news before I have definitive proof. Like, that's horrible! Wow.

Tessie (17:53.766)
I know I had the worst. mean, I think it was all meant to be because like before I was like really upset because I took that antibiotic, you know, and they didn't even test for pregnancy. They just had told me, this is endometriosis because I had told them, well, I'm not getting pregnant. There's these weird things going on. So they just assumed that's what it was. And they just like never even crossed their mind to check. And then this happened. And I was like,

I just feel like it was just meant to be, because I was kind of on the fence, should I do home birth, midwife, or you know what I mean? And it just really was like, this is where you're supposed to go. This is the direction you're supposed to go.

Diana (18:33.138)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (18:38.33)
Yeah, it's obviously very clear what you should do.

Tessie (18:42.74)
Yeah. So I like, I feel like I like left the medical establishment never looked back.

Diana (18:53.096)
So my, my journey is completely different from our other episodes. You all know that I, I had an IVF baby. I I suffered multiple miscarriages. I, we waited, what was it? 13 years before we had a kid and it took four years with IVF. Well, no, three years with IVF, but four years once I gave birth and I relied full and full on.

on science. found out I was pregnant. Well, just to remind you, I flew back to Arizona after I moved to Northeast PA to get my baby, to transfer the baby. And I flew home pregnant. I did the blood test two weeks later for HCG, my pregnancy hormone. And I was checking the portal every 10 minutes and finally it came in and it said positive.

And was like, no, it's not that positive. And I didn't believe it. So I screenshotted it to my husband who was at work. And so he, he, was through text message, basically for me. And he goes, no, honey, you're, you're pregnant. You're actually pregnant. You're good pregnant. And I was, I was thinking, my gosh, this is happening. Is this really happening? And so everything I wanted was happening at that moment. But I had that like buyer's remorse, like, am I, am I ready for this? my goodness.

Tessie (19:54.446)
Thank

Tessie (20:03.025)
Yes.

Tessie (20:21.666)
Yeah.

Diana (20:23.504)
I'm too young for this. No, I'm not too young for this. am 40 years old. I am not too young for this. I'm maybe too old for this now. So that was and I immediately went to I immediately went to medicine. I made an appointment with my OB with an OB and they got me in right away. They're like, well, are you sure you're you're pregnant? I was like, yeah, trust me. This is IVF. I have the blood work. And they said,

fax it over. I said, okay, I'm faxing my blood work over. I'm not even a patient yet, but I knew I wanted to be at this office. And I did. And they called me back. were like, would you like to come in tomorrow? So it worked out really, really smoothly, especially considering how long it takes to be a new patient to get in to see someone. It's like everything fell into place. I think she told me that someone canceled.

Tessie (21:06.071)
Wow.

Diana (21:20.838)
when she picked up my blood work and she got my phone call, someone was just canceling a new patient appointment. So was kind of like, I felt like it was meant to be. And I went into this office and here in Northeast PA, a lot of doctors are either, a lot of OBs either just do OB and they don't deliver babies or they deliver babies and they're only in the hospital.

Tessie (21:30.382)
Hmm?

Diana (21:49.832)
So this one was kind of a cross hybrid, but any one I saw during my office visits would not be the one delivering my baby. It's a hospital team who delivers your baby, which was... So I didn't really get attached to really anyone. I was like, okay, well, I don't know you. My baby's okay. See ya. See you next month or okay.

Tessie (21:59.491)
Hmm.

Tessie (22:13.491)
Yeah, that's so fascinating. It's so different from my experience.

Diana (22:20.966)
I remember my mom talking about her pregnancies and how it was her doctor who delivered because that's what's expected. You see this one doctor and that's who delivers you at the hospital, but that's not the case anymore because insurance is so expensive. Malpractice is so expensive that a lot of offices have said, we're not doing deliveries anymore. We're just going to give that to the hospitals.

Tessie (22:45.794)
Wow, I didn't know that, any of that, that that's happened. But is that different in like a small town? Because I feel like rural doctors do everything, you know, typically. Or is that like a city thing or is that everywhere?

Diana (22:49.383)
Yeah.

Diana (22:58.642)
TIP IT!

I think it depends on the hospital system, what they prefer and how much risk the office is willing to take. There are some offices, I know in the Northeast here who still do both, but it is very expensive and it's very hard to find. It's hard to find that now. So I think it's just who you see. It's just who you see. Yeah. And when I went in, I went in for my delivery because I had to be induced because I'm older.

Tessie (23:18.71)
Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that.

Diana (23:31.184)
and all this other stuff, which we'll get into in a little bit, I had to be induced. The doctor who was on when I checked in was not the doctor who delivered. The doctor who delivered me came in an hour before I delivered because it was a change of shift.

Tessie (23:45.836)
Gosh, that's so fascinating. Wow.

Diana (23:50.824)
you

Tessie (23:52.802)
So like impersonal, I guess, which is so vastly different from my experience, you

Diana (23:55.772)
very.

Diana (23:59.352)
It was very impersonal, but I have to say that I like to say that my birth experience was like the whole story, which we'll do in the next episode, but I had the full experience. I did not miss a single thing, including a lockdown of the unit, which we'll talk about later.

Tessie (24:09.869)
Yes.

Tessie (24:19.342)
Yeah, in our next episode, we'll talk more about like, I guess that part of our journey, the delivery and our yeah, that part.

Diana (24:26.78)
Yeah. Yeah.

But this one is just for our pregnancy stories, which is pretty crazy in itself, I think.

Tessie (24:33.718)
Yeah.

Tessie (24:38.252)
Yes, which I have many, way many a lot.

Diana (24:42.514)
So being that you've been pregnant, this is your fifth time, was one easier than another? Were they different? Were they the same? What can you tell us about multiple pregnancies? Because I can't attest to any of that.

Tessie (24:55.706)
yeah, okay, so this is something that's very fascinating. Okay, I feel like my boy pregnancies are like easier, less painful, less miserable. I don't know how to describe it, but, and also I'm older, okay, so I started, I first got pregnant when I was 30, okay, and so now I'm going to be giving birth when I'm 38.

Diana (25:11.239)
Really?

Diana (25:18.426)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (25:23.182)
and almost 39, I'll be a month away from 39. So I feel like the age aspect is probably the worst part about like what, you know, each pregnancy is because I'm older each time. And definitely I feel like past 35, it was a lot harder. But at the same time, okay, so for my for my first one, I was I was young, I was like, very active, I was

Diana (25:26.887)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (25:51.912)
in shape. I had like the most amazing abs. You know, I didn't even

Diana (25:57.635)
I remember you had like these ab workouts. You had these crazy and I knew you as a mom. I didn't know you before you were a mom, but I remember you had all these like like ab exercises. I'm like how I hate working out abs. were there. It's like my enemy. But you were super fit.

Tessie (26:08.354)
Yeah. Yeah.

I've been an ab fanatic since high school. I've just always done abs. So like for my first one, I had like the tiniest bump by like 20 weeks, nothing. You could barely even tell I was pregnant. I was so tiny. So obviously, you know, I wasn't huge for a long period of time versus like now on my fifth one, I feel like I've been huge since like 15 weeks, you know, I can barely move around.

Diana (26:17.992)
So jealous. So jealous.

Diana (26:39.24)
You

Tessie (26:40.926)
And so there is that. You definitely do kind of show faster, get bigger faster, like with each one. Also, I'm fatter. I know I'm not fat or anything, but compared to before I had kids, I was like such a little twig and probably not in a healthy way, Like anorexic way. so, yeah, I don't know. I did notice that like last pregnancy was a girl, was my first girl.

Diana (26:52.475)
No you're not.

Diana (27:00.262)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (27:10.196)
It was just so hard. I now that I'm pregnant, I never thought I was going to do it again. I thought that was going to be my last because it was so much harder. But I also did have three kids and the physical demands, you know, plus I'm older. But this one is not as hard as that one. And it's a boy. So like. I definitely do think that girl pregnancy for me was way harder.

Diana (27:14.023)
Mm.

Diana (27:30.312)
That's crazy.

Tessie (27:40.898)
Yeah, isn't it? It is, like I had like tons of heartburn with her. I don't have heartburn with my boys hardly ever. And just, I don't know. feel like she made me fatter. I don't know. Like I gained more weight with her, you know what I mean?

Diana (27:52.552)
Bye.

Diana (27:59.08)
I know I definitely had a lot of heartburn, which I never had. you know what's crazy? I still have heartburn, not as bad as when I was pregnant, but I still have every now and then. I do have to take a pepsid, which never happened before, but I was huge. I was huge from the beginning. I remember at, I think I bought my first pair of maternity clothes at 13 weeks and

Tessie (28:18.284)
Yeah.

Diana (28:28.264)
That's only because I couldn't squeeze myself into anything anymore without making myself sick. I tried, I really did. I went for like my wrap dresses and it just got to the point where I couldn't close them anymore. So I just said, I have to buy something. But I was showing, I remember, think week 11, maybe week 12, my husband,

Tessie (28:33.73)
Yeah.

Tessie (28:43.662)
Yep.

Diana (28:55.592)
went away with my now brother-in-law and he comes back after a week and away and all of a sudden I had this bump out of nowhere. He went away, my stomach was flat. Two days later he comes back and it just appeared. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know where it came from. And he's like, that's a good thing. I'm like, but my pants are gonna be tight. He goes, yeah, they're gonna be a lot tighter, honey. But I showed up very early.

Tessie (29:06.702)
Yep. Yep. That's what happens.

Tessie (29:22.113)
It is so crazy. It does like happen all of a sudden. And then also, I don't know if this happened for you, but I feel like every week on Friday or Saturday when I'm like, this time around, when I'm approaching like the next week, you know, I literally can feel my stomach stretching or like I feel it growing. Did you feel that like slow like every week as it would go? Just on like one day, you feel it like

growing. You just could feel it.

Diana (29:52.07)
Yes, all of a sudden it would grow within like that day almost within one day. I would feel, yeah, I would feel the skin stretching. It would be itchy. And thank goodness for Burt's Bee belly butter. My friend Victoria sent it to me and cause it helped her so much. Did I send you that? I need to send you that. It really helped me. You're okay.

Tessie (29:56.974)
Yeah, and it would be painful.

Tessie (30:14.006)
No, but I'm okay. I'm okay because I use olive oil, which is like, know like Sue who was super hippie. But yeah.

Diana (30:18.216)
that works. That No, I use the belly butter and that helped a lot. But you're right. I would feel it grow within like a day, like nothing for six days. And then towards the end of the week, it would grow a little bit more. So you're not alone there. That's interesting.

Tessie (30:32.974)
Yeah. Yes. Yeah, no, I love Burt's Bees. I actually use Burt's Bees on everything. I love Burt's Bees. I can see that being good. Yeah.

Diana (30:45.628)
I did too. Yeah, it's excellent. And the best part is that there's no scent to it and it's a super creamy texture. So I was really sensitive to any scent. So that was greatly appreciated.

Tessie (30:51.352)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (30:59.192)
So was that to stop the itching or to stop the stretch marks or both?

Diana (31:04.838)
Well, technically stretch the itching and they say stretch marks with stretch marks is really more of a genetic thing. My I'll tell you right now, my mom, she carried big. We were all big babies for them and she has zero stretch marks. And I carried big and I have to say, I'm very, I'm very lucky. I don't have any stretch marks. I went from, I know how big I was. I had a 25 inch waist the day that my daughter was transferred to me because I was like, let's just do a comparison.

Tessie (31:18.638)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (31:33.589)
You're tiny, you are tiny.

Diana (31:33.692)
So I measured myself. I was super tiny. I was working out twice a day. I was even doing ab workouts because I knew I needed that support. So even though I hated them, I did them. Super fit. Probably the fittest I ever was in my entire life. And the week I went to give birth, can you guess how big my waist was?

Tessie (31:38.082)
Yep.

Tessie (31:52.11)
God 40. 42. Wow. Huge.

Diana (31:54.6)
42 inches. Yeah, I realized the other day I was almost like a foot and a half away from being as wide as I was tall when I went to go give birth because I'm only five feet tall. I'm only 60 inches. I'm not that tall.

Tessie (32:13.806)
Now I'm going to have to go measure my waist. I'm now like, what is mine at now?

Diana (32:20.104)
Because that's also one of the things that they do in a medical OB setting when they're checking you every time you go in is they're measuring how big your belly is. And so I was like, I want to see. And so I decided to keep track on my own. yeah, I was big and I'm very fortunate. I did not have loose skin. did not. I don't have loose skin. I did not get stretch marks. But the itching because of the skin stretching that

Tessie (32:31.459)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (32:49.244)
belly butter really helped.

Tessie (32:50.816)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I've seen you in a bikini recently. Like you are back to normal. Like you never even had a baby.

Diana (32:57.448)
Oh, thank you. No, I'm not. Thank you. No, actually, I used to be better, but you know what? My body serves me now. I am squishy where I need to be because my daughter likes to land on me. So that's okay.

Tessie (33:05.547)
Yeah.

Tessie (33:09.112)
I don't think we'll ever be back to be pre-baby, you know, but you know what? That's all right. I know, exactly. True, that's true.

Diana (33:15.526)
I'm not 20 anymore and I'm okay with that. I'm not 20 years old anymore. It's okay. That's okay. My body did something amazing and your body has done something amazing several times over. okay, were there any parts of your pregnancy that you romanticize or parts that like totally shocked you, especially with your early ones?

Tessie (33:26.924)
Yeah, it's true.

Tessie (33:37.587)
like parts that shocked me.

I don't know, I guess it all did. I really enjoyed my first pregnancy because I got to rest a lot and I was in good shape and I had energy and I really embraced it. And then it's harder when you have little kids running around. It is harder to really embrace it and love being pregnant.

Diana (33:49.5)
Really?

Diana (34:00.936)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (34:10.316)
when you can hardly move and you have to chase a toddler or like you have to constantly stand up. You know, as mothers we're constantly like sitting down and second later having to stand up, something is always going on. And like, instead of like embracing the next ones, you know, like the same, it's like, it's kind of more of like a burden almost in a way because it's like in your way. You're like trying to get stuff done with kids.

And you can't, you have no abs. can't like lay, I lay in bed with them. I can't get out of their bed. I'm like a whale. You know what I mean? Just stuff like that. It's like, what makes it less enjoyable? I would definitely have to say. So if you just have one and you loved being pregnant and it was like so great, I feel you there. Because it was. First one, I didn't have to get up unless I wanted to get up type of thing. know? It's, you have more choice.

Diana (35:07.452)
Mm-hmm. Yep, it's very different.

Tessie (35:10.274)
You have more freedom, you have more choice. You can do, it's just so much different. And plus, I was younger, I was in better shape. And so that's surprising as far as multiple pregnancies. You would think that they would all be like that. I thought they were all gonna be like that.

Diana (35:28.072)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (35:31.73)
think for me, it was I had this vision, because I so wanted to be pregnant, that I really romanticized it in my head. Like, the glowing mom, and she's so beautiful, and she's so happy with this beautiful baby bump and everything. And I was surprised how much I didn't love it. I thought it was really hard to share. I hated it. I hate saying that, but I hated being pregnant.

Tessie (35:44.302)
I'm

Tessie (35:55.118)
You dance?

Diana (36:01.222)
And it's not that I hate my daughter. I just hated the feeling. I've had a lot of guilt with that because I fought so hard to have her. And I finally did. And now I'm just like, I hated this. I feel terrible all the time. And I know I'm such a baby about it, but that's how I truly felt. I didn't love being pregnant. And I thought I would because I prepared myself. I was in the...

Tessie (36:04.11)
down.

Tessie (36:09.23)
Okay.

Tessie (36:17.278)
you

Diana (36:29.48)
best shape of my life going to this, because everyone said, the stronger you are, the better your pregnancy is going to be. So I was in great shape and I was miserable.

Tessie (36:40.736)
It's so hard. I always say all the time, like, I would take like 10, 12 kids, but I do not want to be pregnant that many times. Like, no, not going to happen. But I would take the kids all day long. Yeah.

Diana (36:49.956)
Yes.

I totally am. Yeah. It's so, cause it's so hard to share your body, but you know, I didn't know that because women have been doing this, females have been doing this for eons and everyone makes it look so easy. You don't really see the struggle behind it. And there was a lot of struggle. And I have to say that was, that was what really shocked me and made me really sad was how much I disliked being pregnant and how

Tessie (36:59.97)
Yeah.

Diana (37:19.666)
hard it was to share a body with another living being. Much less imagine there were multiples in there. my goodness.

Tessie (37:23.758)
I know, I don't know how they do with multiples.

Diana (37:31.88)
I don't know either, but more power to you. But that's where I romanticized it because I thought I would be, I was hoping I would be beautiful and glowing and no, none of that. I think I was glowing because I was angry a lot. Or it's just that flush from after you were sick. I think that was it. That's why I was glowing.

Tessie (37:50.174)
Yeah, you know, it's so funny too about pregnancy like I have no filter. I didn't expect like the hormonal changes and all of the like emotion. I'm not an emotional person and I do feel like that serves me well as a mother of specially boys. But when I'm pregnant, I am so emotional like a girl and I'm just like, I don't get this. I am not. This is not me. I am.

body snatched, I'm so emotional, am so cranky, am so like mouthy, I say I don't even have a filter.

Diana (38:24.008)
How so, you-

You pregnant is me every day.

Tessie (38:32.294)
Yeah, me pregnant is like me being a normal female. I'm just like not a normal female. I'm like, I'm supposed to be a boy mom because I am just very like stoic for the most part. And like, I don't have I don't know, like the only emotion I usually have is anger.

Tessie (38:52.064)
mushy gushy none of this stuff but I was surprised at like how pregnancy just changes you.

Diana (38:59.482)
It does. It does. So what's something you wish more people said out loud about pregnancy, but they don't? What do you, like, what should we tell people? Can I start? Can I start? I wish someone told me how bad smells are. I know that you are really scent sensitive, but wow. I, okay, so full disclosure.

Tessie (39:12.088)
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Tessie (39:20.739)
Yeah.

Tessie (39:25.646)
Totally.

Diana (39:28.204)
I couldn't stand garlic. I cook with garlic on a regular basis. Doesn't normally bother me, but when I was pregnant, it was horrible. I was pregnant in the winter and it was a hard winter in Northeast PA then. And I remember I had this bottle of garlic powder that was in my pantry. And one day, one morning I walked by it and I nearly threw up.

Tessie (39:30.318)
Mmm.

Diana (39:52.972)
I took it and I stuck it in the freezer because it was still a full bottle. And I was like, I'm not going to waste this. I'll eventually be able to embrace this again. So I put it the freezer, right? Nope. That afternoon, I went to open the freezer. I couldn't stand it. So it was a blizzard outside that day. I stuck it. I buried it in the snow for the season. I banished it from the house. It was terrible. And coffee, coffee.

Tessie (40:00.44)
Yeah.

Tessie (40:17.198)
Diana (40:20.582)
was a mortal enemy and I love coffee. That was, that made me very sad. And get this weird thing. So we have some stray cats in the neighborhood and my neighbors are really good people and they feed them. They, and they feed them by my house. And this is in the dead of winter again. I opened the door to get the mail and I smell like kitty litter. And I was like, where is this coming from?

Tessie (40:23.64)
Wow. Yeah.

Tessie (40:47.744)
no.

Diana (40:50.416)
Why do I smell this? And it's from the other side of the house. No joke. On the other, like the back side of my house in some corner that no one goes to, that's the bathroom that they use. But I smelled it from the front of the house. I had a crazy nose.

Tessie (41:04.718)
Yeah, it's it is true. It is true. So gross. Like, everything just makes me want to gag and throw up.

Diana (41:11.208)
It is.

so bad.

Anything comes to your mind?

Tessie (41:22.767)
yeah, I don't know. I guess just, like.

I don't know. I guess you know what I didn't know about pregnancy, but this is more like postpartum is that you literally have a period for like six weeks. Like what? I did not know that. Like what? I don't want to have a period for six weeks straight. Are you crazy?

Diana (41:45.937)
Yeah.

Diana (41:52.336)
Yup. Yeah, I remember being shocked about that too, because I knew that you get one. I get that, but I think mine was like eight weeks. I think mine was eight weeks. It went on forever. my god.

Tessie (41:53.781)
no.

Tessie (41:59.534)
didn't know. Yeah, I had one that was like eight weeks to forever. I'm just like, when is this gonna stop?

Diana (42:07.984)
Yeah, is it gonna go on forever? I felt like I was like a teenager again. You know the first time you get your period and I remember asking my mom, mom does this ever stop? I felt like I called my mom and I asked her that and she goes, yeah, didn't I send you to med school? Didn't I send you to medical school? You should know that answer, but yes it does honey, it's okay.

Tessie (42:27.894)
It's, this is the ironic thing, you know, we are like, woohoo, we're pregnant, periods for nine months. And then it's like, ha ha, you get to have a period for eight weeks straight. You know, like what kind of joke is that?

Diana (42:38.908)
Makeup!

Diana (42:43.214)
It's so mean!

Tessie (42:43.416)
But then I don't have a period when I'm breastfeeding. So I get to go for, it's so funny, like my body is just so like the same. So I go nine months without a period breastfeeding. And then like at nine, 10 months, I get my period back and then I usually get pregnant like right after, that's how it's been.

Diana (42:47.331)
Yes.

Tessie (43:07.118)
And it's funny, my midwife would always be like, you know, you can still get pregnant even though you're not having a period. And I'm like, well, it's not happening to me. And it actually never happened to me. But every time I would get my period back, it was like game on.

Tessie (43:25.718)
I mean, it just happened.

Diana (43:26.568)
Hey, hey, at least you there's some parts that you can depend on. That's so nice. That's predictable. That's a nice one. okay. And you know what? This is is a gross one and I will be honest. I wish people would talk about your GI issues when you were when you were pregnant. Like using the bathroom is not the same. I remember. I'll be honest, the constipation. That was not great. I didn't realize that.

Tessie (43:32.5)
Yes, exactly. Yeah, I'll take it.

Tessie (43:52.17)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Diana (43:54.704)
And the reason why that happens is because your GI system naturally slows down. Your whole digestion system slows down because it's trying to take as much nutrients from your food as possible. So it's increasing the time that the food is in your gut. at the end of that is you get constipated. So that was not fun.

Tessie (44:19.884)
Yeah, let me think if there's what else? I just felt like I block out so much things. I block out. don't remember. I have the worst memory on the planet. And it's so funny because I'm literally currently pregnant. It's just, you know, it's funny when like, I'm just like, I can fit in that small space and like, no, you can't. You're way too fat for that. Yeah.

Diana (44:44.134)
You used to, you used to be able to.

Tessie (44:49.751)
Yeah.

Diana (44:51.86)
what else? Let's see. I have a question. Did your feet grow? Because that was something I heard all the time.

Tessie (44:59.886)
I know. don't remember. I don't feel like they did. I feel like I, I feel like I still wear the same size shoes. Yeah.

Diana (45:05.063)
No.

Diana (45:09.094)
Mine didn't. So yes, I did swell a little bit, but my shoe size didn't change postpartum. I'm not in a bigger shoe size than I was before I became pregnant. So maybe that's not true for everyone. Because I know my mother said that that happened to her, that she grew, that she went up half a size after her pregnancies, once she was done with all of us.

Tessie (45:14.349)
Yeah.

Tessie (45:23.297)
Yeah.

Tessie (45:35.084)
That's really fascinating. Yeah, I don't know.

Diana (45:37.21)
Well, it's because there's relaxin. It's a hormone in your body and it causes the ligaments to relax to kind of prepare you for birth. So you are more flexible. And so there's a lot of tendons in your feet. So those tendons relax. So your feet become a little bit more spread. The bones become a little bit more spread out. Yeah. I couldn't tell if I was more flexible when I was pregnant because

Tessie (45:57.685)
wow. Hmm. That's interesting.

Diana (46:05.42)
I couldn't touch my toes because my belly was in the way. So I just have to take their word for it that I was more flexible. I can't tell you that.

Tessie (46:08.907)
no.

Tessie (46:18.52)
Yeah.

Diana (46:19.666)
Did you have any health issues during any of your pregnancies?

Tessie (46:23.166)
You know what, I am so fortunate, like the Lord takes care of me. Like I've said before on this podcast, like this is my purpose in life is to be a mother. And there's got to be something to that because I have not had any like health issues, none whatsoever. Five pregnancies, zero complications, like perfect birth. Yeah. And all like nine, 10 Apgar scores and like.

Diana (46:39.432)
that's wonderful.

Diana (46:44.616)
Knock on wood.

Tessie (46:51.064)
healthy babies, healthy pregnancy. No, but I did have this one thing, this one time. It was like randomly, I think I was like 36 or 37 weeks with my first. And of course my husband was out of town again, but luckily he was only an hour and a half away. And he was like, he was attending a conference and it just like was so weird. My baby was, his head.

is normally down and that's a good time for the head to be down, like 37 weeks. And all of a sudden he just flipped all the way up and he started kicking me in my bladder basically, like down below. He was kicking, his feet, his head was all the way up in my ribs overnight like that. And I was like, wait a minute, something doesn't feel right here. And of course, like first time mom, like, I don't know what's going on. And...

Diana (47:33.319)
Hmm.

Diana (47:38.195)
my

Tessie (47:49.164)
Yeah, so he had to leave the conference, come home. We went to my midwife. She tried to turn him. She couldn't. And so she's like, we got to get this baby head down. I mean, I still had, at that point, we didn't know this. I still had like five weeks to go before he came. But by 37 weeks, they like to have the head down.

Diana (47:58.354)
Hmm.

Diana (48:15.271)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (48:17.382)
She had this amazing OB-doctor connection. She had the most amazing connections, by the way, with the medical community, just in case you ever needed it. And she got me an appointment the next day. She came with me to my appointment and he was called the baby whisperer because he was so good at turning babies. And so this was like probably my number one complication, I would say, in all of my pregnancies.

Diana (48:27.094)
yeah.

Diana (48:39.559)
Wow.

Tessie (48:44.984)
So we go in there and normally I'm actually here finding all of this out, like what it's normally supposed to be like. Like recently I'm learning this because I had a friend who had did this. You're supposed, supposedly they like take you in, like give you epidural. It's like a painful thing supposedly, right? And so he's like preparing me, having me sign the documents to like take me to the hospital and we're, and he just literally just like,

push the head down and just the baby just followed his hand one handed. The baby just went down, boop, popped right into place. It was like, he really was like a baby. Yes. It was, and he did this all while we were just like signing the documentation for like, you know, what do they call that? Consent or whatever. And it was like two minutes and we were done. And so that.

Diana (49:24.594)
Did you feel it? Wow.

Diana (49:40.498)
Wow, that's crazy.

Tessie (49:42.604)
That was like the biggest scare I would say that we've had because it was kind of like, my God, what do we do?

Diana (49:49.136)
Yeah, because if the baby's in the wrong position, then you're going to have to try to then C-section. I had a friend whose daughter was in the wrong position and they tried and they tried and they tried. And it was several weeks before she gave birth and they tried the maneuver. She tried doing certain exercises and the baby just wouldn't move. And in the end, she had to just do a C-section even though she didn't want to. She had to.

Tessie (49:55.758)
You know?

Tessie (50:15.022)
Yeah, so, well, I mean, we were still far enough away from delivery. Who knows? He might have turned on his own. I don't know. But like my midwife, she was so like cool and calm and collected all the time that if she like was like, okay, this is serious, I was like, wait a minute. Okay, something's going on here. She did not want, yeah, she did not want his head.

Diana (50:18.502)
You're so lucky.

Diana (50:22.973)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (50:40.424)
I'm paying attention.

Tessie (50:45.25)
I mean, and midwives deliver breach all the time. It's a totally normal practice for them. So she would have delivered him breach anyways, but I don't know. She just really wanted to get him head down and she did. And then the ironic thing was like when he, then it finally came to our due date and then a week late and then almost two weeks late and he's still not coming. Cause there was like a bubble, a water bubble above his head. So he wasn't like engaging to stretch it all out. His head wasn't like,

Diana (50:48.594)
Mm-hmm

Diana (51:14.802)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tessie (51:14.99)
pushing on it. So then we had to like break the water at that point and then he came. So thank God. But yeah, I know. Yeah.

Diana (51:19.688)
wow. Thank goodness.

Diana (51:26.808)
I had the opposite. I had so many health issues. had... Yeah. You're right. You're right. So number one, advanced maternal age. They love to label me as geriatric pregnancy. They love dropping that. So that was... At first, I was offensive and eventually I was like, you know what? Yeah, I am. I am a miracle. Take that. I am a miracle. So that was numb.

Tessie (51:32.462)
Well, we are 10 years different. I was like 30, you were 40. So that's interesting. Yeah.

Tessie (51:44.654)
Don't you love that?

Tessie (51:52.92)
Yeah.

Diana (51:56.134)
Number one. so with that comes that you're a high risk pregnancy. So I did a lot more ultrasounds. I was followed super closely. I think I was going every week when I should have still been going like every month or something like that. They were not taking any chances with me because she was also, my baby is also IVF. So that also makes you a high risk pregnancy apparently. And for all my health, all...

Tessie (52:11.617)
Uh-huh.

Tessie (52:17.314)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (52:23.08)
at all, everything I do, I worked out, I ate properly. I ended up with gestational diabetes. And I remember that was such a blow to the gut. And I was like, no, they, they, did it wrong. So apparently, the lab techs did do it wrong. I so it's a glucose tolerance test, you go in and you drink this sugary drink and you sit there for an hour and then they take your blood.

Tessie (52:41.442)
Mmm.

Diana (52:50.184)
and they send you home and you have to be able to process this sugar within that hour to a certain degree. Well, they gave they they did that and my test came back positive and I had to go back in for a second test and I had to sit there for two hours, three hours. I don't remember. And you had to drink another sugary concoction that was even more sugary. And they

Tessie (53:19.146)
Of course you're gonna have diabetes then, what are you talking about?

That's crazy to me.

Diana (53:26.492)
So they're like, this is going to be even more sugary than the last one. I was like, all right, that was really disgusting. And I'm glad that I didn't throw up because they do give you a bag to throw up into because a lot of women, they do get nauseous from it. I was very lucky and you have to drink it within a certain amount of time. So I drank this and I was like, are you sure you gave me the right one? Because this tasted exactly like the other, the first one. So they looked at it they're like, yeah, this is correct.

Tessie (53:33.464)
Gross.

Tessie (53:39.062)
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Gross.

Diana (53:55.304)
And then I said, did you give me the correct one the first time? And then they look back at my notes and they gave me the wrong solution. They gave me the extra sugary solution, the one that I should have instead of. So that's why my, my, my test came back positive and they're like, oops. I was like, well, what are we going to do now? And they're like, well, you're already here and you're going to drink it. So you might as well just stay. I'm like,

Tessie (54:05.666)
First time.

Tessie (54:15.608)
Thanks.

Tessie (54:22.28)
God, it sounds rigged. Like, what are they doing?

Diana (54:25.544)
I'm like, I was like, great, just great. Okay, all right. And by the way, I am the worst at blood draws. I cannot watch them take blood. I tried to be a phlebotomist and I would get nauseous, especially with my own. I can't do it.

Tessie (54:41.652)
No, I can't even watch that. No, I literally look away when the needle's coming out. I'm like, I'm not watching.

Diana (54:48.616)
Me too. Me too. And I've done surgeries. Not a problem. Don't have problems. Veins get me every time. Even thinking about it right now, not the biggest fan. And so they had to stick me three times to get a blood draw because they have to take it three different times every hour basically. And it came back positive. And I was trying to justify it to my husband. He goes, honey,

the second test is positive. was done properly. You have gestational diabetes. Sorry. And I was like, fine, be that way. And so I had to watch all, to prick my finger several times a day after meals. I had to record my blood sugars. I had to record what I was eating to really track my carb count, my protein count, my fat count, and to figure out which foods really spiked my sugars.

So that was part of my journey too. I had extra journals going and I had extra nutritionist appointments to make sure I was on track. And let me tell you, I made sure I was on track. It got to the point where after two weeks, I figured out what meals did good for my body. And that's what I stuck with for the rest of the pregnancy. So it was...

Tessie (56:08.578)
Wow, no wonder your pregnancy was miserable. I'm like, that sucks.

Diana (56:11.368)
I remember thinking, I was at my friend's house and we were getting pizza that night and I was thinking, that's a carb, I can't have that. Well, that sucks.

Tessie (56:24.59)
no. Yeah, no. Okay, so this was my gestational diabetes test every time. Eat the most sugary breakfast you would ever eat and then we'll draw your blood an hour later. Okay, so I'm eating like French toast and donuts and a big old orange juice, know, like the sweetest, I normally would never eat all that together.

You know, that's my that was my test and I'm like, I'm going with and then obviously if it like if I had like high numbers, then we would go further testing. But yeah, no, I didn't have to drink that goop or whatever.

Diana (56:52.434)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (57:05.81)
was terrible. I wish that they told me to eat a bowl of Lucky Charms instead. I would have enjoyed that more.

Tessie (57:14.498)
Yeah, you could have picked that on pasta and bread instead and just been like, okay, here I am. My donuts. Yep, donuts. Eating a, had a Starbucks sugary, whatever that nasty drink is.

Diana (57:20.392)
I have gone to Dunkin' Donuts and got a bunch of donuts instead. Yeah.

Diana (57:30.842)
and that's another thing. So during my pregnancy, before I was pregnant, my IVF doctor made me give up all caffeine. So no caffeine. And of course it took me forever to kick caffeine. So I stuck with that. I wasn't going back to that. So I couldn't even have Starbucks. And of course the smell of coffee made me nauseous too. But yeah, I couldn't even have that. That was not fun.

Tessie (57:38.062)
Mmm.

Tessie (57:45.25)
Yeah.

Tessie (57:50.698)
Yeah, no. That's just sugar water anyways, not even coffee.

Diana (57:57.896)
But it's so tasty.

Tessie (57:59.438)
If anyone's gonna get diabetes, it's gonna be me from drinking sugar water at Starbucks.

Diana (58:08.698)
No, not you, me. It was me who tried to do everything right and I ended up with gestational diabetes. But on the bright side, and that's another thing, when I went to go for visits, and like I said, a lot of my visits weren't with the same doctors because that's not who's gonna deliver me. So it was whoever was available.

Tessie (58:16.771)
You

Tessie (58:29.214)
yeah.

Diana (58:31.804)
They would always say, you're so big because you have gestational diabetes. Are you sure your sugars are in range? And I'm like, yeah, they are. And they would pull up my nutritionist. Yeah, I'm like, excuse me, I was very offended. And they would pull up my nutrition visit notes and go, yeah, you are in range. Okay, fine. And it's not even, and they never apologize for offending me. I'm like, really? That's just another thing.

Tessie (58:41.644)
You're big.

Tessie (59:00.48)
Hahaha

Diana (59:01.32)
First you labeled me geriatric and now you're calling me a liar. Thank you so much.

Tessie (59:03.982)
I was going to say, do they have a million questions? They don't even know who you are. then that would be so annoying if you have to answer the same questions every time you go or if they ask you the same question. like, dude, I don't want to cover this again.

Diana (59:23.12)
That is because I'd never had the same practitioner. that's, that's my, that for me, that was, that was my, my story. was constantly telling me.

Tessie (59:28.866)
Yeah, that's fascinating.

Tessie (59:34.126)
And how long were your appointments? Like 15 minutes? Quick, very quick.

Diana (59:37.64)
Yeah, 15, 20 minutes because very quick because there was never an issue. I was gaining weight appropriately. I maybe was growing appropriately. I didn't have any other issues. Thank goodness. And so they're like, okay, bye. See you next week. I'm like, okay, bye. But yeah, I my same story in the same timeframe every week.

Tessie (59:43.874)
I don't know.

Tessie (59:52.749)
Yeah, so.

Tessie (59:57.1)
What was her weight at birth?

Diana (01:00:00.68)
8 pounds 3 ounces.

Tessie (01:00:02.19)
Oh yeah, that's like perfect, right? But she was early, right? Or not like early, but not 40 weeks, right? Or was she 40 weeks? Oh, well then she's... I've had two bigger than that. I didn't have diabetes.

Diana (01:00:04.072)
She was big. She was big. I remember.

Diana (01:00:10.994)
She was 39 weeks, 39, because I was induced. Yeah, I was induced. And I think, yeah, I was, everyone, I remember my last ultrasound before I went to give birth. And it was with a different doctor. was not the same radiologist who saw me because she was on vacation.

Tessie (01:00:35.298)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:00:35.418)
And this guy was going to tell me whether I had to have a C-section or whether I could have a vaginal birth. And I'm like, in my head, was like, all right, if he says C-section, so be it. And he looks at the baby. Well, yeah, because my mother had a C-section. In my head, I kind of knew.

Tessie (01:00:52.6)
Wait, but what was he like basing his decision on? Because, well, you know me, I'm like, no one's gonna tell me what to do. I'll do what I want. Like, excuse me? What was he basing that decision on?

Diana (01:00:59.794)
you

The size of the baby, the size of the baby. Is she going to fit was the big question because if she was like this big 13 pound baby who's trying to squeeze out, you know, that's not going to happen. That's going to be a big problem. But he looked at her and he was like, okay, well, I think you're kind of on the fence. You had gestational diabetes and I don't know if your sugars were always in check. I said, yeah, well,

Tessie (01:01:06.482)
okay. Okay.

Tessie (01:01:14.575)
for sure. It's massive. Yeah.

Diana (01:01:30.972)
They were, you can go back to my history and check. So I sent him out of the room to go check my nutrition notes. And he goes, okay, he came back and goes, well, in light of everything, I think we're just gonna go with a vaginal for now, but just keep in mind, you may need a C-section. I'm like, that's fine. I said, okay, that's fine. So yeah, that was, I remember that visit, cause he was like, well.

You had gestational diabetes played a part in everything, obviously, because it's a very big determinant of the health of the baby, the health of the mom, and everything. But everyone assumed that I was doing it wrong. And I'm like, no, I was super strict.

Tessie (01:02:14.602)
It's probably because like most people don't do it right, you know what I mean? But you're obviously a very, like, responsible human.

Diana (01:02:24.284)
You can say crazy OCD, it's fine.

Tessie (01:02:27.368)
Yeah, exactly. If anyone's going to do it right, it's you. Yeah.

Diana (01:02:31.42)
No, I think you. But I remember being offended by that a lot. Not only am I emotional because my hormones are all over the place, but now everyone's offending me left and right.

Tessie (01:02:35.864)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (01:02:40.972)
Well, you know what's so funny? Like every single birth or birth, every single pregnancy, my midwife is always telling my husband, you need to feed her. Are you going to feed her? Are you going to take her to lunch after this? Like she needs to eat more. She's not eating enough. It's like I have like the I have a very interesting relationship with food. It's not that I don't eat. You know what I mean? It's just that I don't know. I just like.

I don't eat a lot. I don't pig out and I don't stuff myself and I don't know, I just feel like I'm reasonable. But when you're growing a human, you kind of have to eat more than you normally eat. And so that was always an issue still to this day. They're always asking my husband, is she eating? It's like my thing.

Diana (01:03:27.976)
Well, you are very tiny. I remember most of your pregnancies. And if I looked at you from the only way you could tell that you were pregnant is if I looked at a profile of you, if I looked at you straight on or from the back, it didn't look like you were pregnant. As opposed to me, you could tell from all angles I was pregnant, especially the side. that's another thing. with pregnancy,

Tessie (01:03:29.549)
you

Tessie (01:03:35.31)
Yeah.

Tessie (01:03:40.867)
Yeah.

Tessie (01:03:47.234)
So we have like complete opposites up there.

Diana (01:03:53.488)
your baby takes up room in your body so your stomach can't hold as much food. They have to eat more often. It's hard. You get fuller faster.

Tessie (01:03:57.326)
Yeah

Yeah, I know. Yeah, especially try having four kids stealing all your food, not having time to sit down and eat. Like I don't have time to do that anyways, let alone like, no, thank you. I'm good. I know.

Diana (01:04:13.572)
Exactly. God. Pregnancy is a trip. so let's talk about mental health. Were there any ways that you protected your mental health during pregnancy?

Tessie (01:04:24.028)
I'm screaming at my husband.

Diana (01:04:26.024)
yep, That's still my coping mechanism, was, still.

Tessie (01:04:28.92)
That was my coping mechanism.

I know right? Poor guy.

Tessie (01:04:40.534)
do pretty well in pregnancy. Like this is the hardest one because I wasn't expecting it. You know, I expected all the other ones. This one I wasn't expecting and I thought I was done and I had started making all these plans for the future and like no diapers, things I could do with like kids older than three and not having strollers and all this stuff. And then it just like tanked like the first trimester. I was just like, my God. But what I do is I sleep.

because I just sleep. mean, what else can you do? I use humor, I laugh about it. I like to use humor a lot and I just sleep.

Diana (01:05:16.328)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:05:21.32)
That's great. That's great. I love it.

Tessie (01:05:22.626)
Yeah. Yeah.

It definitely, it definitely helps if I, you know, just snuggling my babies and getting all that oxytocin. That definitely helps. It really does help. Yeah.

Diana (01:05:35.644)
Yeah. I'm sure. Yeah. I have to agree with that. It creates happy hormones, know, endorphins. So that overrides the sort of anxiety or stress, right?

Tessie (01:05:42.349)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (01:05:46.122)
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Exactly.

Diana (01:05:52.936)
So mine is, so the opposite of yours again. Mine was hard. And the crazy thing is that I thought I was handling stress pretty well at the time. But I kept on pushing through and forging forward with my appointment and the physical stuff. But I didn't really stop to check in with how I was feeling mentally. honestly, I was...

I resented a lot of my body changes because like I said, I had been really strong and really fit and I was proud of what my body could do. My husband and I, used to go hiking all the time, like 10, 15 miles in a day. And now I'm so sick. I'm hugging a toilet and I'm sleeping all the time. I was sleeping like 18 hours a day and then hugging a toilet for the next like six hours. It was awful. And I felt like my body was betraying me and that...

Tessie (01:06:46.466)
No? huh.

Diana (01:06:51.502)
That made it even harder to protect my mental health. So I was very confused at the time. I had a lot of conflicting feelings. I didn't even realize I was having, and it's only in retrospect I realized, wow, I was really, really in a dark place. And if I...

Tessie (01:07:09.996)
Yeah, no, it's really true. It's really true because I'm like a super active person. Normally I can do anything, especially physically. And like when you're pregnant, especially as pregnant as I am now, you can't, right? You just like physically you cannot. And so it's really hard for somebody who's very active to just not be, even though it's just a period of time, it feels like it's forever.

Right? And that can really like mess with your head.

Diana (01:07:38.95)
Yeah.

That's that because there was no end point and it was my first one My only one and I had nothing to compare to even though everyone around me told me it's temporary It'll get better. But when you're in that dark moment You're like mmm. Is this really how it's always gonna be you can't see the light and that's really hard

Tessie (01:07:44.567)
Okay.

Tessie (01:08:04.378)
Mm hmm. And it's hard to you just have to like, just accept that now I have to just be a blob on the couch. I can't like go on a jog. I can't do all of these things that I can't do my crunches. I used to do 300 crunches a day, like before kids. know. I even postpartum like all of my problems, a lot of my problems to like

Diana (01:08:13.832)
I'm going to

Diana (01:08:21.352)
That's insane. I can't do that now.

Tessie (01:08:30.7)
were postpartum because I wanted to start doing my abs right away and my husband would not let me because he's like, you know, he's done anatomy. He's he's a physician and he knows like you're not you're going to destroy your abs if you do that too soon. Do not do do not work out too soon. Do not do all of these like physical activities too soon. So over time, I've gotten used to that, but it was really hard. The first definitely the first one.

Diana (01:08:46.12)
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep.

Diana (01:08:58.364)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tessie (01:08:59.758)
Definitely, I wanted to bounce back right away and do all these things. But over time, now I'm like, I'm OK with it. I'm just like, OK, I'm just going to be like out of shape, essentially, and whatever I am until I can be. You know what I mean? You just have to accept it at a certain point. But it's so hard, especially for like doers like me and you.

Diana (01:09:15.527)
Yeah.

Diana (01:09:20.936)
Mm hmm. Yep. I wish I could go back now and talk to myself and tell her it's okay. It's okay to feel confused. It's okay to feel betrayed. don't look for big wins, but look for small wins. Like now I do things like journaling. I think that has helped me so much. meditation, that's really helped me. And I think

I, if I could go back, I would tell her, do these small things for yourself. And it's okay to feel this way. Cause that was, there's a lot of guilt with the, with the, I guess, underlying anxiety and stress I felt from feeling betrayed by my body, even though I thought I was handling it okay, because I was just plowing through. Cause that's what you do, right? You're, you're a woman, you're strong, you've done hard things in your life and you just keep going. And I wish I had stopped for that mental check.

Tessie (01:10:20.096)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. We got it. Luckily, I have my husband for that kind of stuff because I don't know if I would do it myself.

Diana (01:10:30.088)
My husband tried to get me to do it I was like, you're crazy. Leave me alone. Because, I was yelling at him all the time.

Tessie (01:10:37.154)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Diana (01:10:42.738)
So did you feel any did any stress show up differently than you expected other than, you know, yelling?

Tessie (01:10:50.19)
All these girly emotions that I suddenly feel like what is this? mean, I grew up with brothers, I grew up around boys. I don't have girly emotions. I'm tough, you know what I mean? But this

Diana (01:10:55.048)
Yeah. All right.

Diana (01:11:02.514)
Yeah, yeah, you are. Were you shocked? Were you shocked the first time you felt like, wow, I have, I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve. Was that a shock to you?

Tessie (01:11:13.87)
Um, yeah, I don't like it and I'm not comfortable with it. But, I don't, I don't cope well with like that, but, um, you know, before I had kids, before, before you have kids, like the stupidest things are big deal to you. You know what I mean? Then when you finally have kids, you realize like what the real, like the real perspective in life. Okay. And so for my first pregnancy, I was a

Diana (01:11:33.062)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (01:11:43.55)
I was an anxious, crazy mess, you know, just of anxiety, stress, like worrying that something bad was happening, that, you know, something bad was going to happen to the baby, that something bad was going to happen, like just like horrible thoughts. I thought I was going to die in childbirth, like all of these horrible anxiety thoughts. And it is legit. And you know what I have?

Diana (01:11:47.048)
Okay.

Diana (01:11:52.913)
Yes!

Diana (01:11:56.711)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:12:05.052)
But I mean, that's legit.

Tessie (01:12:09.922)
the most amazing midwife like on the planet. she told me, she would tell me like, know, anything could happen, anything could happen during this pregnancy, but anything could happen even after. it's none of it's in our control from now forever. So it's like, that's actually a really good perspective. And she actually lost a child. So like,

Diana (01:12:30.151)
Yeah.

Diana (01:12:38.632)
So.

Tessie (01:12:39.544)
teenage child. you know, she like had this perspective. So I was over here worried everything was going to go wrong before it even started, pretty much, you know, which I think is normal. Every little thing I was like calling her like, my God, something's wrong. Something's wrong. And then it's like, nothing is wrong.

Diana (01:12:56.392)
haha

Diana (01:13:01.128)
Yeah, I was the same way. I had a lot of anxiety because again, she was my one and only. I didn't have any other embryos left and I didn't get pregnant easily. So I had a lot of anxiety. never enjoyed it. I wasn't even afraid to like hope. It's bananas, like every little thing.

Tessie (01:13:06.338)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (01:13:16.887)
Okay.

Diana (01:13:28.812)
I was looking it up or asking my husband, is this okay? And what's crazy is that I was expecting myself to miscarry at any point. So anytime I went to the bathroom, I was checking my underwear for blood. I was like, my God. so it's not just me. Okay, cool, cool. Good, okay, good. So I wasn't losing it. That's totally normal. okay. Yeah.

Tessie (01:13:30.55)
Yep. Yep.

Tessie (01:13:41.93)
Yep. Yeah, same. No. Yeah. No, I think it is normal, especially with like first pregnancies. You don't know what's going on. Well, me also, I just had a lot of things. I don't know. Maybe not everybody feels that way. I was like, yeah, I was a nervous mess every step of the way. I'm dehydrated. my God, I'm miscarrying.

Diana (01:14:06.311)
Yeah.

Diana (01:14:11.866)
Is that a cramp? Am I in labor? No, that's just indigestion or gas. Calm down.

Tessie (01:14:15.182)
That is actually funny too. like the I didn't even know obviously you don't know what a contraction feels like right until I had no idea that I was like contracting for like an entire day. I was like, man, this baby, what is he doing in there? He's like pushing it on my stomach and it hurts like what is going on? I was like so upset with him. was like, why are you doing this? And I was like, yeah.

Diana (01:14:42.408)
He's trying to get out.

Tessie (01:14:44.62)
for an entire day. I don't understand what's going on. This is very painful.

Diana (01:14:51.112)
I didn't know she was kicking. So I went into my office visits and they're like, oh, do you feel the baby kicking blah, blah, blah? I'm like, no. And then I was talking to my friend and she lives in Atlanta and she hadn't seen me pregnant or anything. And I was like, yeah, I have this like, I think it's gas. And she goes, Dee, that's the baby. I was like, no. And she was like, yeah, that's the baby. So I started thinking back, I was like,

Tessie (01:14:51.182)
Hello?

Tessie (01:15:00.95)
Ha

Tessie (01:15:13.55)
I'm done.

Diana (01:15:19.176)
maybe it was a baby. I didn't know to realize that that was a baby kicking because I just thought I was like, it's just gas.

Tessie (01:15:23.726)
Yeah, like literally when his hiccups would go forever, I'm like, there's something wrong. Why is he hiccuping so long?

Diana (01:15:34.248)
I wondered, I was like, is she having a seizure in there? And my husband's like, what? I'm like, yes, I know it's possible, but she's having hiccups, leave her alone.

Tessie (01:15:37.088)
Yeah!

Tessie (01:15:43.406)
Yeah, it's so funny.

Diana (01:15:46.804)
Okay, I wasn't the only one that's Thank goodness. I wish I had known that like I thought I was Alone in my own crazy head. I created a registry and I thought I was gonna jinx myself by sharing it with other people So I didn't share my registry for this long as I'm yeah like the superstitions just started kicking in and I didn't set up her nursery until I was eight months pregnant Do not wait that long because it is really really hard

Tessie (01:15:49.133)
No.

Tessie (01:16:02.776)
really? wow.

Tessie (01:16:12.096)
Wow.

Diana (01:16:15.836)
to build a crib when your belly's so big. Do not wake up.

Tessie (01:16:19.022)
Yeah, that's funny.

Diana (01:16:22.086)
Yeah, because at eight months, I realized, well, I'm bringing home a baby no matter what. I better give her a room. And because that's how that's how scared I was. I didn't want to do the what if. It was I was anxious. But at the same time, it's weird. I was also really grateful because I wanted to be pregnant and I was glad I was pregnant, but I wasn't. It was very weird. And it's totally normal.

Tessie (01:16:30.112)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (01:16:38.52)
Yeah.

Tessie (01:16:45.72)
Yeah.

I wanted the baby. Yeah.

Diana (01:16:50.586)
It's totally normal, that's what I realized. It's totally normal.

Tessie (01:16:54.21)
Mm-hmm, totally normal. Yeah, totally normal.

Diana (01:17:00.828)
So, let's see. So who were your big support systems while you were pregnant?

Tessie (01:17:08.254)
my husband, my parents, pretty much it. I don't know. I didn't really have friends who had kids. I had nieces and nephews and stuff, but as far as friends that had kids, I didn't really have that before I had kids. I was that person that was like, keep your kid away from me. I don't want to be around your kid. know what I mean? Such a horrible human.

Diana (01:17:13.202)
same.

Diana (01:17:32.136)
Were you the first amongst your friends to have a baby?

Tessie (01:17:39.79)
Trying to think who had, no, I guess I did have one friend who had, but we were kind of like, we weren't close, close friends. But yeah, I've actually just, yeah, I have like all of my friends that I have now I've found like since having kids, like that's what we've bonded over, you No, I had a friend who had one daughter before, yeah. And then the rest of them,

Diana (01:18:03.303)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:18:08.241)
Okay.

Tessie (01:18:09.294)
None of them had kids, but I did love her daughter. She's still really cute.

Diana (01:18:12.7)
Yeah. I had my husband, thank goodness. I had my family. I actually got closer to them because of the baby, because I would call my mom for really everything. Go, mom, help me. What's going on? And I have a lot of friends. Obviously, I'm the last one of my group of friends to have a baby. So I had all of you guys to, all my friends to support me through it.

Tessie (01:18:28.003)
Yeah.

Tessie (01:18:36.002)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:18:42.108)
go along with my crazy at the time. if it weren't for my whole group, I don't think I could have made it through.

Tessie (01:18:48.974)
Yeah, that's true. Actually, now that I think about it, had two friends who I was pretty very close with who really helped me stay on the like path that I wanted to like the natural path and the home birth. Like both of them did one did like a birth center and the other did a home birth and very natural minded. And I just love having I loved having that kind of support network and

to validate what I was feeling, you know, because that's where I wanted to go. But the whole world was telling me the opposite. And like as a new mother, you don't you like doubt yourself. You're like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, maybe I'm making all of these really bad decisions and me. But having them who like would get me books and that like research stuff and help me make hard decisions on what I should do. You know, that was like priceless.

Diana (01:19:23.901)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:19:34.098)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:19:46.564)
Yeah, yeah, because you went the alternative medicine way. It's not what everyone else was thinking, but you tried it. You tried the typical medical way and it wasn't for you. And you found someone who has a lot of training. She obviously has a lot of fantastic medical connections for when that's needed. So that's really important too, knowing that you had a plan B.

Tessie (01:19:50.861)
Yeah.

Tessie (01:19:55.383)
Yeah.

No.

Tessie (01:20:10.508)
Yeah.

Diana (01:20:14.248)
just in case that she was ready for that. That's important because for me, that's why I went the medical route because I knew what plan B was. My plan A was to try to give birth vaginally. Number two was take me to the hospital or take me to the OR. I actually, I just remember this. When I was checking in on the day of my induction, I asked him, can my room be the one closest to the OR? And they're like, don't worry, the OR is central.

Tessie (01:20:40.065)
Hahaha!

Diana (01:20:43.976)
You're close enough, don't worry. I was like, no, really, I wanna be right next door.

Tessie (01:20:45.494)
That's funny. You know what's funny about me? My personality is I'm like a do or die. If I have something in my head, will, know, mine is like, there's no try. It's do or die. We're doing it. You know what I mean? And like, I had no thoughts in my head that there was going to be a plan B. I was like, this is happening. And you are

I am never going to the hospital. I don't care what happens. I will not go to the hospital. That was in my head and I was determined. And like my husband knows this about me. He didn't even tell me that like he was terrified. I'm like I'm not going. And then of course like after the birth I probably probably should have. But I don't know I got fluids and stuff but I lost a lot of blood. That's the only problem.

And I don't know what would have happened in the hospital because I've actually heard from friends who've lost a lot of blood that they don't do anything anyways, unless it's like a ton of blood, which wasn't me. But no, I had it in my head. I'm doing it. There's no plan B for me.

Diana (01:21:45.991)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:21:49.992)
Yeah.

Diana (01:21:54.246)
That's one of the questions they ask you when I went in, they and they were getting me set up in my room. They asked me, what is your birth plan? And that was that was a question that was posed to me when I was taking my birth classes and everything. And it was always the same. It was to do whatever it took to have a healthy baby and to get through this in a healthy way. So I was very open to everything. If I could do it vaginally, great. But if I to do a C-section, so be it. I would rather

Tessie (01:22:03.256)
Okay.

Tessie (01:22:16.429)
Okay.

Tessie (01:22:22.061)
Okay.

Diana (01:22:22.76)
I'd be open to anything to make sure that she's healthy and I'm as healthy as possible. And I thought, I think that was really, and I remember the look on the nurse's face is when I said that, and it was just relief because I think a lot of women are very set on that, on their, yeah. And they wanna deliver, you know, the nurses, they do wanna give you what you want because it is your experience. But at the same time, they're like, well, look, maybe medically.

Tessie (01:22:37.184)
Rigid, yep.

Tessie (01:22:43.822)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (01:22:49.498)
it's inappropriate and how do how are we going to bridge that? But when I told them, look, whatever it takes to have a healthy baby, that's where I'm going. And they were. It was. It was because in the end, and I'll talk more about this in our next episode, I was in labor for a long time, nothing went to plan, nothing went to plan. having that mindset of, I'm going to roll with it really helped me get through it, because if I didn't, what I'm learning is that apparently

Tessie (01:22:56.578)
That's such a good mindset. That's a good mindset to have in general.

Tessie (01:23:08.418)
Yeah, there you go.

Diana (01:23:18.992)
my expectations versus reality is where my disconnect is a lot with in motherhood. And so that's why I get angry sometimes. But when it came to my birth, it was all full roll with it.

Tessie (01:23:27.566)
Yeah, 100%. Yeah, that's a great mindset. My poor midwife, she had to go with my rigidity. I remember though, like halfway through, I mean, several hours in, I would say. Okay, so this is halfway through, 38 hours. But anyways, she...

Finally was like, have just this one like little thing that is in the way. Forget what, the cervix wasn't quite like moving out of the way or something. And she's like, here, take these herbs and go take a nap. And I'm like, really? Like several hours into like childbirth, you want me to go take a nap? And I did, I slept for like an hour with some herb that she gave me.

And when I woke up, it was time to push. So like, she is a miracle worker, right? She's amazing. And she really understood like, I was like very adamant. And so like, I just love that about her that she figured that out, you know? I know.

Diana (01:24:20.358)
Whoa.

Diana (01:24:24.498)
Yeah.

Diana (01:24:34.152)
That's amazing. That's really amazing. So to wrap it up, what do you want other moms to know? Whether they're trying to conceive, whether they're newly pregnant, or they're just feeling overwhelmed by it. What do you want to share with them about from your experience?

Tessie (01:24:55.342)
For sure, number one, okay, just relax. If you're like trying to get pregnant, relax. Stop putting all the pressure on yourself, your partner, all of that. Like everything happens when it is supposed to happen, 100%. So you just have to like trust in that. Regardless, you have to trust in that. And it is true. People always say all the time like,

when you stop like trying so hard, that's when it's going to happen. It's like so true. It's so true, too. I feel like if you can, you know, conceive naturally, that is the best way that it happens. One hundred percent. OK. And so like as far as that, I would just say like relax. And if you're in the pregnancy, just like enjoy it because there may be a day that you miss it one day, you know, like you never know. It's it's such like a miracle.

Diana (01:25:48.444)
Mm hmm. Yeah.

Tessie (01:25:51.48)
There's like a human being in your belly. A human being. What? Like how?

Diana (01:25:55.41)
Yeah. You took two cells and you made it into a thinking, breathing human being. That's insane. Who's going to grow? And you get to foster that. get to watch those two little cells grow into something amazing. And you did that. That's amazing. Yeah.

Tessie (01:26:14.253)
Yeah.

Tessie (01:26:17.888)
Yes, and don't stress everything because it's true. Anything can happen at any point in time. it actually, I believe is not even up to us anyways. So us stressing about it and worrying about it is actually not gonna change what happens. You can't change what's gonna happen if you have my belief system anyways. And...

So just don't worry about it. Like don't stress, just enjoy it what it is. Everything is meant to be will happen 100%.

Diana (01:26:48.86)
Yeah, I have to agree with you with that. think you're exactly where you need to be. Even when it doesn't feel that way, you are where you are supposed to be. If you're trying to conceive, whether you're newly pregnant or you're just feeling overwhelmed, that's your story. And it's going to happen in its own time and its own way. And there's no one right way to do it. Just let it go. Just follow your gut and just

It's a beautiful thing. You get to see it and you get to one day look back and say, wow, I did that. And it's okay to have those conflicting feelings. And that was the hardest thing for me was I'm scared, but I'm hopeful. I'm grateful, but I'm resentful. I'm excited, but I'm terrified. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. You're a human being and that's a good thing. So give yourself permission to be messy, to be tired and to ask for help.

Tessie (01:27:25.24)
true.

Diana (01:27:47.58)
Because motherhood is, it's wild and you're doing great. That's what you need to remember.

Tessie (01:27:54.124)
Yeah, 100%. And definitely don't blame yourself if something does not go the way that you planned, because it's not your fault. Yeah. No, never. So yeah, so wow, our journey to motherhood couldn't have been more different, especially the very beginning. One filled with IVF calendars, careful planning.

Diana (01:28:03.91)
No, it is not. It is not your fault. It is not your fault.

Thank

Diana (01:28:18.897)
Yeah.

Tessie (01:28:22.956)
And then the other full of surprises, spontaneity. And yet here we are bonded, not by how we got here, but by what it means to show up every day as a mom, motherhood basically. So yeah, we hope this conversation reminded you that there's no one right way to become a mother or even be a mother. We talk about that all the time. So whether you're path is smooth, stormy, science assisted or total shock.

Your story is valid and you are not alone. So next week, we're continuing to the real talk with our birth stories. In episode, we're calling BYOT, bring your own tub, home birth versus hospital birth. So it's honest, hilarious, maybe a little messy and just like birth itself. It's gonna be amazing, right? So until then.

Diana (01:29:20.923)
Yep.

Tessie (01:29:21.91)
We'd love to hear your version of some assembly required and your stories. And if you relate to what we're talking about, or if you have the same emotions or completely different, or if you just think we're totally crazy, however your pregnancy unfolded, like share it with us. We love it. Head to our Instagram, share your story. And if this episode resonated with you, share it with a mama friend who needs that reminder or

Maybe not a mama friend yet, somebody who is still trying or feeling like I was, or we both were like very, what's the word, disappointed, I guess. And so we're all doing it differently and we're all doing it together. So thanks for listening. See you next time.