S3E4: No My Degree Wasn't A Waste

Think your degree disappeared the day you became “Mom”? Think again. From biology majors decoding toddler rashes to English grads narrating Goodnight Moon like Broadway pros, this episode proves your education is alive and thrivingin motherhood. We’ll laugh, reframe “wasted potential,” and celebrate every mom using her skills in unexpected ways.

Transcript

Tessie (00:00.716)
Hi, welcome to Pearls of Motherhood. I'm your host Tessie.

Diana (00:06.227)
And I'm your host, Diana. And today's episode is a love letter to all the moms who've ever had someone raise an eyebrow when they learn you have a degree or two or three, and then you chose to stay at home or pivot your careers.

Tessie (00:22.574)
Yep, this one's for all the moms with the biology degree who now organize the neighborhood co-op lab like a lab project or the lawyer who's negotiating nap schedules and toddler tantrums with expert level diplomacy.

Diana (00:39.997)
You went and you got nothing on us. Because today we're going to say it out loud. No, my degree was not a waste. Okay, so let's start with the myth. Somewhere along the line, our culture decided that unless you're using your degree in a traditional nine to five setting in a job, you're wasting it, right?

Tessie (00:42.046)
Hahaha!

Tessie (00:49.866)
Yeah, 100%.

Tessie (01:05.162)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. Let's be honest. You know how I feel about what society thinks But it's not just society like honestly sometimes that voice in our own head I do actually think this sometimes too like If I knew that I would be doing this like would I have? Spent that time and energy going to school especially as much as I hate school and I only did it mainly because my parents made me

Diana (01:11.203)
Yeah

Tessie (01:34.072)
But no, I actually got like two degrees. so, but I do think that also in the back of my head. So it's not just society, but like we as mothers can do that to ourselves and make us think like, what was that all for?

Diana (01:49.631)
Yeah, it's a quiet kind of guilt, especially when you've worked so hard for something and now it feels like you're disconnected from your part of that part of your identity.

Tessie (02:02.102)
Yeah, so I mean, the truth is our degrees were never just about job titles. You know, they taught us how to think, solve problems, lead, adapt, follow through with something, know, complete something that's hard and that takes several years. I like there's a lot of attributes that you can gain by getting a college degree and doing that. And we use those skills every single day, regardless.

Diana (02:15.061)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (02:29.523)
Mm-hmm. And not just a college degree, but any degree, any licensing that gives you a skill, right? Because I guaranteed someone who can weld, which I cannot do because I'm really not allowed to play with fire, I bet you that's really handy in fixing your kids' toys.

Tessie (02:35.148)
Yeah, that takes work and effort.

Tessie (02:45.998)
Yeah, no kidding.

Diana (02:51.755)
So I have a question for you. Has anyone ever asked you if your degree was a waste? And if they did, how did it make you feel?

Tessie (02:59.938)
Well, I've been asked if I knew what I know now, like would I have still gotten my degrees? so I went to four year, I did four year degree and I got, did a double major. So I got two bachelor's degrees. I did psychology and I did pre-law because I was going to potentially go and actually be a lawyer. And so at the end of the day, like I took a year, that fits me.

Diana (03:17.76)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (03:27.237)
That fits you. That fits you very well.

Tessie (03:30.222)
I was just telling my husband the other day, like, I still need to go to law school and get that law degree so that I can like sue everybody just pro bono and make the world a better place. I would totally do that with my free time. know, we were talking about that. Yeah.

Diana (03:46.085)
Yeah, with your free time, right? I think you should totally do it. But yeah, your free time. Uh-huh. Right. Says the woman about to give birth.

Tessie (03:51.374)
Yeah, and I mean, yeah, this will be when I'm like 65. Let's be real. And I wouldn't sue, I don't sue anybody innocent. I mean, I would be suing the government for all their atrocities, but that's like a whole nother episode. But anyways, yeah, so I think about this. I do think about this and I've been asked like, would you still do it? I definitely would probably still do it though. Like I even back then I knew

Diana (03:57.79)
We all need gold.

Diana (04:08.661)
I'll put that on the list.

Tessie (04:21.096)
one day I was gonna be a stay at home mom because that's what I feel like my purpose is gonna be any way is in this world. And I've talked about that. And so I kind of knew that but like at the same time, like I use all of these skills like psychology and pre law. Like I've used all of those skills in my daily life with children.

Diana (04:34.325)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (04:41.803)
Yeah. It probably makes you a better mom.

Tessie (04:46.638)
possibly because even like the whole like pre-law aspect, I'm very just matter of fact and very like stick to the facts. There's no emotions and that's kind of how I am too. But also it's like trained into me a little bit, you know that if you're going to be writing a paper or whatever, you don't you don't put emotions like you don't put any of this frill for feet. It's so funny because the two degrees were so opposite.

In order to get a passing grade in psychology, you have to just like almost BS your way through like a 10 page paper using like way more words than you have to. And pretty much as long as you could state your case and make it sound good, you could pass. As long as you sounded intelligent, I feel like.

And then like the pre-law is like pretty much just stick to the facts, no froufiness, don't add anything, like all that. It was so opposite, you know? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. As a mom, as a wife to a business owner, actually it comes in very handy in that aspect where I can actually...

Diana (05:50.357)
Mm-hmm. Well, you can do both. That shows your range. And as a mom, you need to have range. Let's be honest, we need range.

Diana (06:04.065)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (06:08.042)
assist my husband when he's like in negotiations or looking at contracts or having to respond and then I can like look at it and help him you know take out the frouy parts or whatever and just be like okay well just let's just stick to this let's stick to these three questions you know just keep them online you know

Diana (06:27.017)
Mm-hmm. No, I think that's a really valid point, not just in motherhood, but in your partnership. That is really something because that is your partner. That's who you spend your life with and you want to be able to contribute to that. And you can do that on such a high level.

Tessie (06:36.354)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (06:46.57)
Yeah, so like what were your degrees and how do they, how do you use them in your relationship and your motherhood?

Diana (06:52.257)
So, my college degree is my four year of my bachelor's was a double major and a minor, and then I got a master's degree and I went to med school. I have a BA and a BS. So I have it in biology. My double major was comparative literature. My minor was Italian. I went to medical school and then I got my master's of science in healthcare administration.

So totally all over the place. It is because in the end, that's where I refined everything. a lot of I've never been asked if was it a waste because everyone focuses on the healthcare side of it. And as a mom, having some healthcare background is really handy because you know how to clean a wound. You know how to do the little things here and there. You can tell whether, is this really something I need to

Tessie (07:23.214)
That last one's a good one though.

Yeah.

Diana (07:49.877)
go to the urgent care or should I go to the ER? know, the differentiation is very valid. And the answer is when in doubt, go to the ER, okay? That's how it's done.

Tessie (07:50.734)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Tessie (08:00.59)
you were gonna say ask your husband. That's what I do.

Diana (08:04.085)
That's what I often do, but sometimes I can't reach him. So the, agree that that's a fault. If I feel like there should be an ER somewhere in there, take her to the ER.

Tessie (08:11.534)
Yeah. Yeah, mine is like, okay, you're a medical professional. What do I do here?

Diana (08:19.093)
Yeah, you're the one with the real medical degree.

Tessie (08:22.222)
That's what I tell them. I'm okay, I'm like deferring to you now in this moment. Here you go.

Diana (08:26.857)
Yep. All the time. But sometimes I can't reach him because he's in with actual real patients and I'm at home and I'm like, so we talked about it.

Tessie (08:34.126)
No, you're fully capable of handling it yourself. I'm not.

Diana (08:40.129)
Not true, not true. You are a mom. You're Dr. Mom. So did I feel like it was a waste? No, none of my degrees, none of my education was a waste. But I will. This is my personal confession for this episode. I asked my mother that question when I was young. And of course, yeah, now that I look back, I

Tessie (08:46.154)
Yeah, there you go.

Tessie (09:04.885)
wow.

Diana (09:09.579)
feel terrible now asking her that question. Because like I said, before I became a mom, I was all about my career. So at a very, very young age, I was all about get the degrees, get a good job, make the money. You're going to be this alpha in this business world or medicine or whatever. You you're a part of that hustle. And I knew at some point I would pop out a kid because that was expected. But like I said in the past, I thought I was just going to

Tessie (09:32.718)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (09:39.179)
drop the kid off at daycare and then go right back to work in my high heels and into my boardrooms and all that stuff. So I asked my mom, you know, my mom is an accountant. She has her bachelor's in accountancy. Yeah. And I asked her, is it a waste? Because she's a stay at home mom to four kids. I didn't see her always using that degree. And she said, no. And I remember going, really?

Tessie (09:42.05)
Yeah.

Tessie (09:53.39)
you

Diana (10:09.321)
And I feel so guilty now saying that, but because it's so rude and in retrospect, my mom used those skills every single day. Like the organization, the mathematics, she ran our household. My parents didn't have a lot of money. She made the ends meet. It's because of her, because of her, how she handled money. They are successful. They are comfortable. said,

Tessie (10:16.28)
Yeah.

Tessie (10:25.069)
Yeah.

Tessie (10:28.578)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (10:35.803)
me and my siblings up for success because of what she did. But I asked her that question when I was really young and I snarked at it and I feel terrible about it. So mom, I am so sorry. I am so sorry, mom.

Tessie (10:47.566)
Yeah, you know, it's so funny because that was like your your whole like life goals was, know, like you just said, and we know we know that because we've talked about it. And like, I feel like my whole life goals, even when I was in college was to be a mother one day, you know, and we've talked about that. And I do feel like, okay, so I did use my degree.

Diana (10:59.659)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (11:08.097)
Mhm.

Tessie (11:13.002)
I used my psychology degree to do a job that I thought was interesting and that was like fun, I guess in a way, you know, it was like challenging and it was, it was interesting and there were like, I liked it, it had, it was like fast paced. So I worked in a psych hospital and I guess you could say like me having that degree is the whole reason me and my husband met and if I wouldn't.

Diana (11:31.445)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (11:40.159)
It was meant to be.

Tessie (11:41.452)
Yeah, if I wouldn't have had that degree, I wouldn't have been qualified to work at the hospital. And I would have never met my husband and like, it's all meant to be in the end. So like, you can't really regret anything that you do, because you just never know where it's going to lead, you know. And so I knew that in my mind, like, I feel like subconsciously, that's why I didn't pursue like a higher

Diana (11:59.873)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (12:09.4)
career path, you know, because I didn't want to have to walk away from it. So I kind of stayed at these like low level jobs that required my degree, but like, were interesting and fun. They weren't like careers though, you know what I mean? Like that's probably why I never actually went to law school and became a lawyer because I knew in the back of my mind, like I would have to walk away from that one day and I don't know if I could have. I don't think I could have honestly.

Diana (12:14.39)
Yeah.

Diana (12:35.413)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I didn't expect that I would walk away from it. Honestly, I went to med school. I did not work in that flexibility that you had. And I, in a lot of ways, I wish I did. But at the same time, I can't say I regret it because I know things that I use daily. I know how to fix things, know, physically fix things.

Tessie (12:38.731)
I

Tessie (12:44.234)
Yeah.

Tessie (13:04.594)
Yes.

Diana (13:07.221)
Healthcare admin, my goodness. That is all about organization, compromise, and let's face it, my gosh, yes, management of human beings and my toughest client is my daughter.

Tessie (13:13.454)
Yeah, managing

You

Tessie (13:24.142)
100%.

Diana (13:26.389)
So there's actually research that says that your skills transfer more than you think. So a 2022 study in the Center for Work-Life Policy found that women who pause their careers still use 80 % of their professional skillset in unpaid labor, like caregiving, volunteering, home management, and community leadership. So yeah, that's huge. No. So we're literally like,

Tessie (13:49.289)
wow. It's not a waste, you know? Yeah.

Diana (13:56.127)
like putting on all these hats all before like 9 a.m., right?

Tessie (14:00.494)
Yes, exactly. And we're using our professional training to do it.

Diana (14:08.853)
Yeah, that's why we are so good at it. That's why if the society was just men, it's not gonna be so great.

Tessie (14:15.722)
No, is why mothers are basically project managers, therapists, educators, especially if we homeschool, logistics coordinators, nurses for sure, like everything.

Diana (14:23.583)
yeah.

Diana (14:28.857)
yeah.

Psychiatrists, psychologists, like how many times do we have to psychoanalyze what our kids are saying and use it to our advantage or really understand what they're trying to tell us?

Tessie (14:39.918)
I know, right?

or like using the reverse psychology, which is what I have to do a lot with one of mine.

Diana (14:48.481)
Sometimes I have to use my language degree to understand what she's saying because she's speaking her own language. I have a question. Have your toddlers ever done that? She just started making up her own language, her own words. She speaks very, very well, but she makes up her own words now. like, what does that mean? And she looks at me like expecting me to give her like to respond. And so I respond in gibberish too. And we make it work.

Tessie (14:53.806)
You

Yeah

Tessie (15:03.252)
alright.

Diana (15:18.113)
Have your kids done that?

Tessie (15:19.71)
No, that must be like a sign of really high intelligence or something.

Diana (15:25.201)
I don't know, I'm hoping so, but.

Tessie (15:27.34)
Yeah, for sure. If it's your child, for sure that's what it means.

Diana (15:32.737)
Or my child is just trying to mess with me. I think that's about right. I'm not sure about that.

Diana (15:42.261)
Okay, so okay, let's get into something fun. Okay, let's take

the most common college degrees and put a mom's spin on it? What do think? All right. So first up for my degree, biology, how can we put a spin on that?

Tessie (15:53.43)
Okay, sounds good.

Tessie (16:04.948)
Let's see. I don't know. guess you're the one with the biology degree.

Diana (16:11.847)
I should do that. Okay, I should do that one. Okay, let me think. bug expert.

Tessie (16:19.662)
I did do biology. Now, now this is coming back to me. I forgot. yeah. you know all about all the like little mites that crawl around that you don't see, right? That's what I remember from biology.

Diana (16:29.759)
Yeah. explaining, explaining where poop comes from.

Diana (16:38.817)
I haven't had to do this one yet, but I expected to one day. How does a baby grow in your belly? I'm expecting that one.

Tessie (16:47.254)
Yeah, and then like daily experiments that kids do, you know, like eating nothing but goldfish crackers for three days.

Diana (16:52.67)
you

How is that gonna affect their poop?

Tessie (16:59.15)
Are they gonna get a bellyache? Let's just watch and see. It's kind of like an experiment.

Diana (17:04.033)
Yeah, yeah, let's show them the scientific method at a young age.

Tessie (17:09.294)
What happens if I stop making food for my kids? Do they fend for themselves or do they starve to death?

Diana (17:17.781)
I think that's a great question.

Tessie (17:19.8)
I do that experiment all the time. Well, we have a fruit drawer in our fridge. My kids are only allowed to eat food that's in the fridge and I fill the drawer with pre-washed fruit and that's what they live on. And I'm like, go ahead. That's what you can reach. That's what you're eating. Yeah.

Diana (17:22.325)
What happened?

Diana (17:38.017)
That's smart. That's smart. My daughter has, she knows to go to the pantry and she knows that there's a certain section for her. But eventually I do want to set up like a snack cart of things that she can just take whenever she's hungry, she can feed herself and those are okay snacks.

Tessie (17:44.536)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Tessie (17:53.558)
Yes, my kids, they're basically, mean, too, they can go into the fridge, get their fruit, like their apple or whatever. Like I'm not that mom that cuts their fruit up for them. I'm just like, God gave you teeth, like take a bite. You know what I mean? Like why would I add that extra work? And so.

But then when you have like other caregivers with your kids, know, like the village that we've talked about and you would take a break and you have like grandma or somebody else watch your kids and then they cut the fruit for them is like, don't do that because now they expect me to cut their fruit and I'm not doing it.

Diana (18:39.073)
So I had an epiphany one day. I was always cutting up her cucumbers. And one day my husband was watching her. She wanted a cucumber. So he goes to the fridge, breaks it off and washes it and hands it to her. And she's just chowing down on it. And I walk in through the door. I'm like, oh my goodness. And he goes, what? I was like, I normally cut that up for her. And he's like, she's fine. She grew teeth for a reason. And that opened my eyes. And I was like,

Tessie (18:50.766)
That's a guy thing.

Diana (19:07.521)
I that's less work for me. At first I freaked out because I was like, my gosh, she's going to choke. But no, did great. And now I just literally hand her like pieces of fruit. I hand her a whole a whole pepper bell pepper and say, I just eat it. It's fine.

Tessie (19:10.882)
Yes.

Tessie (19:23.518)
Yeah, totally. I actually am not one of those moms that cut grapes for my kids because I know like grapes are, I don't know. I have, this is my experience, okay? You should cut your grapes if you believe that your kid's gonna choke on it. But my kids have never once choked on a grape. They choke on apples more than grapes, believe it or not. Like they do. They only ever have choked on apples.

Diana (19:42.634)
Knock on wood.

Tessie (19:51.298)
Sometimes oranges, but like not to the point where you have to heimleich like they can get it out. They've never choked on grapes. They chew them up. It's like the craziest thing.

Diana (19:58.497)
Really?

Oranges I can see because the membrane, get that. Now grapes, I do cut up, I still cut up to this day and she's almost three. And for the longest time, I cut up blueberries. I didn't try that. The little tiny, the tiny little blueberries. yeah, I used to cut them all up. I'm better about it now, but yeah, I'm one of those moms that I'm just really nervous about that. So I still do that.

Tessie (20:04.598)
Yeah, those are hard.

Tessie (20:15.426)
You can just smash the blueberry.

that's so funny.

Tessie (20:27.67)
was nervous too about my kids choking and for sure with my first one, I would smash the blueberries for him. By the time I got to the third one, he was like one and I was giving him an entire sandwich just like, here you go, have at it. Here's your grapes, here's your entire apple, bite it and chew it. they figured it out, they're still alive.

Diana (20:35.305)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (20:55.406)
But I do have three of those life vac things, cause I'm like still paranoid. Yeah, those are handy. Yeah. Okay.

Diana (20:56.001)
Okay.

Diana (21:01.877)
Those are good.

Anyway, we digress. next degree, English or literature? Okay, so I have a comparative literature degree and I'm a professional storyteller. That's what I do now. And I can read nuances. So I can read between the lines for her.

Tessie (21:18.05)
There you go.

Tessie (21:25.516)
Maybe that's why I suck at storytelling, because that's not my degree at all.

Diana (21:31.327)
I didn't think that I would ever become a storyteller or enjoy storytime reading, but I actually do. I put on different voices and everything.

Tessie (21:43.502)
That's awesome.

Diana (21:46.601)
Okay, okay, this is your degree, psychology. Well, how would, yes. What are you now?

Tessie (21:48.79)
Yes, psychology. Congratulations. You're now family therapist, sibling conflict negotiator, toddler ego development specialist, like you name it. However, I do happen to also live in a house where I'm like totally, I know nothing compared to my husband when it comes to this area. But yeah, but the psychology does come in handy because I did study like child psychology.

Diana (22:10.241)
You're a novice.

Tessie (22:18.488)
child development and stuff like that. So that definitely comes in handy when you're dealing with children and just getting a different perspective. Yeah.

Diana (22:26.625)
100%. 100%. Okay, nursing. duh. Yeah, is a really good one. 24-7 ER. Hello. You got this. Yes. Also with nursing, you can now have the advanced skills of convincing your kid to take their medicine. That's always a hard one, right?

Tessie (22:31.764)
nursing. Yeah, good one. That's a good one. Very handy.

Tessie (22:52.438)
Yeah, yeah that one I don't know. I still don't, I'm not good at that.

Diana (23:00.339)
I have to say, I'm very lucky with that. She doesn't mind taking it. She doesn't mind taking her medicine. I'll just say it's, that's my healthcare coming in that I'm really good at administering medicine.

Tessie (23:08.302)
Yeah, we'll just go with that.

Diana (23:13.321)
Yeah, that's it. The one thing I was really good at when I was working was I was really great at giving shots. Kids did not cry when I gave shots. I don't know how. I don't know. I think a lot of nurses, I think a lot of people go in real fast because they're going in really, they just want to get it over with. For me, I found that when I go slow,

Tessie (23:24.984)
So what was the secret?

Tessie (23:34.988)
Mm, mhm.

Diana (23:38.785)
Like I'm holding the child's leg and I go slow with the needle and I'm looking at them and distracting them. They don't feel the needle or the pressure as much. For me, that's how it worked for me. And a lot of patients asked me to give injections because I did a good job with it. And even for adults, when I had to inject adults, they wanted me to do their prep for them and everything. But that is something handy.

Tessie (23:52.44)
Yeah.

Diana (24:06.453)
I'm really good at numbing things, so I think that's going to come in really handy in time.

Tessie (24:10.902)
Yes, I remember when I would get my shots as a kid and they would like count to three but they'd do it at two. Do you remember that? They'd be I'm going to count to three and then they would do it at two.

Diana (24:19.457)
Diana (24:26.401)
So, okay, it's a miracle I went into healthcare because I think my mom is super surprised. I was that kid that I cried so hard in the doctor's office. I was banned from the waiting room. I was banned from the waiting room because I would cry so hard that I made other kids cry. So whenever I saw the pediatrician, she would take me in. I had to wait out in the car.

Tessie (24:36.31)
Hahaha

Tessie (24:43.19)
You knew. Yeah.

That's funny.

Diana (24:53.257)
and then the nurse will signal my parents and we would go in through the back door of the office and go straight into the exam room. We were not, I was not allowed in the waiting room. So the fact that I even went into healthcare shocked my parents.

Tessie (25:02.904)
Hilarious.

Tessie (25:08.782)
So, I'm surprised you weren't so traumatized and scarred for life.

Diana (25:13.953)
That's what they thought too. They thought for sure that is one area she's not going into, but I actually thrived in it. Go figure. And I learned to do a great injection because of it.

Tessie (25:15.702)
Yeah, for sure.

Tessie (25:26.366)
There you go. Yeah, because you have compassion for it.

Tessie (25:33.294)
huh.

Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's like one I wish I would have done like business or management for sure.

Diana (25:46.657)
So this is where my healthcare admin comes in because it's a little bit of everything here. It's healthcare, it's business, it's people management, it's change. What is it called? when you're, can't think of it right now. Yes, supply chain, that, yep, yep, all that stuff. And it's really useful. I am definitely the CEO of my household. I am.

Tessie (26:02.958)
supply chain, supply chain management.

Tessie (26:14.38)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (26:15.457)
I am also the financial officer. I am the strategy officer. am HR. I am a nutritionist also, you know.

Tessie (26:20.086)
Yeah.

Tessie (26:27.018)
Mm-hmm. Yep. We have to like organize it. That could be a great skill to have, like learning how to manage anything. Some people have that natural ability and some people don't.

Diana (26:37.355)
Because...

Diana (26:43.145)
Yeah, yeah, I have to not argue, but basically.

with my toddler, he persuaded. But the bonus is that when push comes to shove, I can bodily pick her up and move her without being called into HR for it. So it's okay.

Tessie (26:51.544)
Persuade? Yeah, persuade.

Tessie (27:04.426)
Yes. That's true. my gosh, this next one surprises me that like, are there a lot of females in engineering? That's like a that's like a really big one of the top degrees.

Diana (27:20.193)
So I have a background in engineering also, because I went to an engineering high school. I went to Staten Island Tech. Yeah. And it's definitely not for me. I'm definitely not an engineer. That would not an option. No, I know a lot of engineers and they're really quite interesting. My brain doesn't bend that way. I'm not, thank goodness, because this is people's lives and I am not qualified to handle people's lives in that way. But yeah.

Tessie (27:24.588)
Yeah.

Tessie (27:30.823)
No, you would be so boring if you were.

Tessie (27:40.395)
No, yeah.

Diana (27:49.953)
Engineering is a growing field. For females, more more females are getting into engineering, and I think that's so cool. But how about being the architect of couch forts? My daughter loves forts right now. And I have to say, I use some of my old books to figure out foundations and angles and stuff like that to try to make this fort for her.

Tessie (28:05.774)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tessie (28:13.55)
That's awesome.

Yeah, if you can like, I what I imagine engineering is to is like being creative thinking outside the box and like creating something when you can't necessarily buy it. But you can like imagine like what you want and then make it so moms, especially moms who are crafty. They for sure use like engineering then in their daily lives.

Diana (28:27.861)
Yes.

Diana (28:34.728)
Yes.

yeah!

Diana (28:42.817)
100%. 100%. I'm not a crafty person. try and it does not, it's not cute. But what some moms can do is mind blowing. and how many toys do you have to build? Like Legos? That's a skill.

Tessie (28:48.27)
Me either.

Yeah.

Tessie (28:59.112)
Yeah, that's true. my gosh, especially when they get like older Legos and the ones you got to look at the book. And I don't know why I always get stuck putting together the Legos. I'm like, isn't this supposed to be like what the fun is, is that you're supposed to do the Legos? And here I am over here like, dude, I can't read these directions. I'm like putting them together and like, why am I doing this?

Diana (29:25.025)
Well, my husband loves Lego, so he's in charge of that. And I tried to help him one time. It did not go well. was looking at the instructions and this is for my nephew who is much more sophisticated than I am. So he wanted this really fancy Lego set and they come in like different packs. And my husband goes, honey, that's the wrong pack. And I'm like, oops. So I got it wrong from the beginning.

Tessie (29:28.066)
You

Tessie (29:40.63)
Yeah. Yeah.

Tessie (29:48.886)
Well, one time my three boys each got like these very intricate tiny little Lego sets, okay? So then they want me to put them together, because they're not quite old enough. This was a couple years ago. They weren't really quite old enough. So I'm sitting here like all morning for like two hours putting together these like stinking Legos.

Diana (30:11.615)
Ugh.

Tessie (30:11.982)
And then literally three seconds after they have them, they like bang them into each other and destroyed them. I was like, are you kidding me? That did not just happen.

Diana (30:22.133)
That's it, no more. okay. And then stepping on Legos. Let me just tell you, not fun. Right? We've all done it.

Tessie (30:28.43)
That's funny. Yeah, I mean, we've always had like little babies and infants in the house to the point where we really don't allow our older boys to have like the little tiny Legos. And if they if we do find them lying around the house, we just take them and they disappear. You know what I mean? So I haven't had that problem too much yet.

Diana (30:47.265)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Oh, here's another one for our engineers out there. Obstacle courses. Ever built an obstacle course for a kid? That is a feat of engineering.

Tessie (30:59.598)
Tessie (31:05.304)
That's awesome. You're such a fun mom. I'm definitely not the fun mom, because I'm over here like, no, you are not building a fort in living room. Like, it needs to be like a museum in here. No, we're not messing up the pillows on the couch. Like, go outside and play.

Diana (31:20.385)
I thought I would be and then I complained that my house is a mess. Well, it's my fault because I built an indoor obstacle course, but I have to do something with my kid in the winter here. It's freezing outside and she's got a bunch of energy. So what do I do? I build things to make her climb and dig and do stuff. And then I complained that my house doesn't look like a curated museum. well.

Tessie (31:32.866)
Yeah.

Tessie (31:36.521)
Yeah.

That's so fun. Yeah.

Tessie (31:47.422)
You kind of have that, like, you kind of have to do that because it's, you're like her only friend, you know what I mean? Like if it's not you doing it, then she's by herself. But me, I can tell my boys, like, go in your room and play with your toys. Like, play together. Go on, bye bye.

Diana (31:54.292)
Yeah.

Diana (32:01.921)
Yep. I, so I have a solution for that. I'm just going come over to your house. That's what I'm going to do. Exactly. So essential. Next next degree, math or accounting.

Tessie (32:08.936)
Yeah, there you go. Play dates. Yes.

Tessie (32:17.518)
Yes, that one I would definitely flunk out of. saying, I am not good at math, or accounting. If it wasn't for my husband, I don't even know where I would be right now.

Diana (32:18.805)
Those are important.

Diana (32:29.407)
All I can say is thank goodness for calculators. mean, really? But having to balance a budget with diapers or my gosh, formula. So expensive, right?

Tessie (32:40.62)
Yeah, and like all the extracurriculars and couponing, you know, maybe you're good at that.

Diana (32:46.213)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's all savings, right? Or even the simple things like doing a countdown or counting up, having them fall asleep. Well, what do you do with your kids? You have them count up to whatever to make them fall asleep. I love that.

Tessie (32:50.519)
Yeah.

Tessie (33:01.454)
Yeah, I do. count to, I'm like, let's lay here and count to 200. And then literally we get to like 125 almost every time. But he's like figured it out now because he's four. And so now I have to be like, let's count backwards. And then we count backwards and he knows how to count backwards, like from 200 all the way down. But we get, we, we get about the same amount, but yeah, exactly counting.

Diana (33:13.974)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (33:28.029)
Yeah, yeah, counting, it's important. Or calculating how much caffeine is safe. Like, what's my maximum dose of coffee I can have in a day? That's really important.

Tessie (33:36.43)
Yeah.

Diana (33:41.737)
Okay, how about political science?

Tessie (33:44.788)
Mm-hmm. That come, yeah. I always thought that that, like I should have actually majored in that. You know what I mean? When I was younger, I'm like, that should have been my degree. Cause it's probably like a lot of like just arguing debate and like lobbying and persuasion. Yeah. All this stuff that's not like it's important in your.

Diana (33:46.217)
Negotiation. Mm-hmm.

Diana (33:55.73)
Ha

Diana (34:05.185)
filibusters.

Tessie (34:12.394)
in your life, but not in the big scheme of things.

Diana (34:15.233)
You're essentially a lobbyist. You're a lobbyist. You hold negotiations, filibuster, strikes, whatever it takes. It's a... Yeah. Okay. Fine arts. Again, that goes back to crafting, Painting. Play-doh masterpieces. Oh, costumes. You're a costume designer.

Tessie (34:17.001)
Yeah, exactly.

Tessie (34:22.37)
Debate, yep, research.

Tessie (34:33.41)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (34:41.549)
Yeah.

Tessie (34:45.292)
Yeah. Birthday party themes could be like epic. Yes. Yes. Totally. It's my favorite color.

Diana (34:46.849)
Yes, anything with glitter, anything with glitter, that's your foray, right?

Diana (34:59.583)
Okay, how about this last one, computer science?

Tessie (35:03.46)
my gosh, that one's like probably super handy. So you can like figure out, hmm, why is this broken? How do I figure out? I can't figure this stuff out, but if your computer seizes up, you know, wifi, iPads, yeah, Zoom.

Diana (35:16.169)
resetting Wi-Fi. this is the extent of my... So again, with the engineering in high school, I did computer science. Again, not my area. I'm terrible at it. I just hit restart. I just unplug it and plug it back in for the best. teaching the grandparents how to FaceTime. That's a good one. You're IT. You're the whole IT department.

Tessie (35:30.542)
That's pretty much me.

Tessie (35:36.822)
You are, you're the IT department, for sure.

Diana (35:43.585)
So yeah, no matter what you studied, mamas, your degree is alive and well in motherhood, probably being tested more than you ever thought it would be.

Tessie (35:51.31)
Yeah, so like probably a lot of us out there have questioned ourselves like, man, would I have done that again? Would I, you know, was it worth it? I can imagine it being like a really bigger question if you have student debt tied to it and you're also not using it. I could see that being like a little bit more like cumbersome. But regardless,

Diana (36:12.385)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (36:20.278)
You went through that in your life and it led you to certain things in your life that probably led to you to exactly where you are now. like you can't regret things like that no matter what because your life wouldn't be what it is right now if you didn't do that. So you can't even think about it like that.

Diana (36:38.064)
Mm-hmm. I think that's so well stated because you are here for a reason. The steps you took brought you here and that's a beautiful thing. education, that's one thing my mom always said after I asked her, was your degree a waste? In my snarky tone, she always said education is never a waste. And she always said this, it's an investment in you. And I was like.

Tessie (36:46.968)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (37:02.101)
What do you mean it's not going to pay me back? How am I supposed to be paid back as a mom, a stay-home mom? Well, honestly, I get paid in so many ways I never thought would be as fulfilling, but it is. I get hugs. I get kisses. I am the favorite human of her world at this very moment. So that's pretty much a win for me. And everything I learned, everything I went through was worth it.

Tessie (37:17.033)
Mhm.

Diana (37:31.807)
I use it to survive every single day here.

Tessie (37:35.286)
Yeah, and what is life if you're not learning stuff? You know, like, we're still constantly learning just because we're not getting like a formal degree. It's not a waste. Because you're you're learning.

Diana (37:47.221)
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You're alive. That's what you're doing. So it's okay if your life looks different from what you imagined it, what it would be when you picked out your major when you were in college, because that girl didn't know what kind of strength, tenderness, or strategy motherhood would ever demand of her. That's so true for me.

Tessie (37:52.526)
Yeah.

Tessie (38:01.315)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (38:08.718)
Mm hmm. Yes. And when you think about it, actually, like, isn't there statistics about that, like a large majority of people in general, even men and whatever, don't even use their degree in there necessarily in their jobs. So like, it's not like we're any different or some kind of like special group over here where we're the only ones who don't use our I mean, we use it, but like

Diana (38:24.786)
Yes.

Tessie (38:37.344)
it's not like a useful thing, you know what I mean? And people do that all the time. It's not just us.

Diana (38:44.385)
Yeah, yeah. And it's OK. Like it's it's seen as OK that you're not using your degree in your job in a set certain way. But as mothers, we question ourselves and we shouldn't because we are using it just in a different capacity outside of a nine to five because we are on 24 seven.

Tessie (38:56.174)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (39:06.382)
Mm-hmm. And I bet like if you're who you were back in college, could see you now and all of the skills that you're using and running your home like Fortune 500, surviving another day, like regardless, should be proud of you.

Diana (39:20.233)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (39:24.787)
Yeah. Would 19 year old Tessie be happy? We should be proud of you.

Tessie (39:29.582)
Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's definitely, you know, I mean, could you imagine? I feel like we all have these plans at 19 of what we're going to do. Rule the world, like all this stuff. you know, life happens, so you just never know where you're going to end up. And it's OK.

Diana (39:31.307)
Yeah.

Diana (39:52.395)
I think it ends up better than we could imagine because what did I know at 19? Nothing. I knew nothing at 19.

Tessie (39:54.73)
I think so too. Yeah. Totally. All my priorities were 100 % backwards at 19. I'm always like saying this, I became a if I had been a mother at 19 or even I feel like even in my 20s, like all of my priorities in life were wrong. Totally.

Diana (40:06.273)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (40:18.881)
I joke around that even though I tried so hard for so many years to get pregnant, I was not mature enough to have a child until I had my child.

Tessie (40:26.878)
No!

Yeah, it's very different. It's very different.

Diana (40:34.731)
but I think 19 year old me would be very surprised. And I think she'd be proud. I think she would be. So you wanna do some listener mail?

Tessie (40:41.142)
Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, I'll read it. Okay, last week, or this week, we got a message from Lauren, who wrote, I have a PhD in biomedical engineering. wow, she must be really smart. I thought I'd, yeah, I thought I'd be running a research lab by now, but instead, I'm managing IEP meetings.

Diana (40:47.583)
Okay, sounds good.

Diana (41:02.475)
Smarter than me.

Tessie (41:11.458)
fundraising for the school library and helping my daughter learn to read. That's very important actually. It took me a while, but I've realized I am still a leader just in a different kind of lab. That's so true.

Diana (41:17.611)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (41:25.953)
That is, it goes to show you how much smarter Lauren is than me because I had to look up what IEP stand for and basically it's, I didn't know what it was. And basically it's learning for children with disabilities is what she does. And that's, I didn't know that was a thing. She's much smarter than I am. But wow.

Tessie (41:30.414)
Ha ha!

Tessie (41:36.142)
You

Tessie (41:42.958)
Mmm.

Tessie (41:48.118)
Yeah, all of those things are much more important probably. don't even know what biomedical engineering is that like where they're in there doing viruses or something. don't even know how smart I am.

Diana (42:03.521)
It's fundraising for a school library. I'm just trying to figure out what's in my wallet. Gosh.

Tessie (42:09.868)
I know, bacon brownies for the bake sale. There you go. That's important. Yeah.

Diana (42:14.027)
That's extent that I can get right now. Lauren, we love you. We see you. You're doing a great job.

Tessie (42:20.044)
Hahaha

Diana (42:22.335)
She's killing it. So now we want to hear from you. What is your degree? How do you use it? Even if it's not obvious. Let us know.

Tessie (42:23.458)
Yeah.

Tessie (42:33.228)
Yeah, head over to our Instagram stories at POMCasts and DM us your story and we might share it in future episodes.

Diana (42:43.157)
Yeah, your brilliance didn't go away. It just changed shape and it's a beautiful thing.

Tessie (42:47.532)
Yep, and we'll see you next time friends. Until then, keep shining in your own way. Bye.

Diana (42:53.857)
Bye.