S3E7: Not Your Typical Privileged Wife: A First-Gen Breaks The Rules

Diana grew up first-generation Chinese American in a tiny NYC apartment, surrounded by family, ambition, and big expectations. Career-driven and navigating cultural traditions, she faced failures like not passing her U.S. Medical Licensing Examination and became the first among her siblings to marry outside her culture. In this episode, Diana shares how she pivoted, embraced motherhood in unexpected ways, and learned what true resilience and privilege really look like.

Full of laughs, NYC nostalgia, first-gen insights, and parenting reflections, this episode is for any mom balancing expectations while carving out a life and motherhood that feels authentic.

Transcript

Tessie (00:01.218)
Hi, welcome back to Pearls of Motherhood. Today's episode is a little different. We're hitting pause on our usual stories to get to know our co-host, Diana. She's the one behind the thoughtful questions and the mom facts, but there's a lot more to her than that. Diana grew up first generation Chinese American in the heart of New York City in the 1980s.

in a one-bedroom apartment with her grandparents right next door. She was super career-driven, navigating family expectations and chasing her goals, all while dreaming of her future. Along the way, she also became the first among her siblings to make a life choice that wasn't entirely conventional, marrying outside her culture. my gosh, a journey that came with courage, humor, and growth.

Diana (00:52.25)
Yep.

Tessie (00:57.484)
And then of course, she discovered motherhood, not the career first path she imagined, but something just as meaningful and full of surprises. So today we'll laugh, reminisce, and hear stories about culture, resilience, New York City childhood memories, and parenting lessons, plus all the little quirks that make Diana, well, Diana. Buckle up, friends.

This is a fun, heartfelt ride into getting to know our co-host on a whole new level. Welcome Diana! This is going to go great. Don't worry. Yeah.

Diana (01:33.855)
Thank you, Tessie. my goodness, I'm nervous. Okay, I know, I'm in good hands. I'm good, I'm good.

Tessie (01:48.046)
All right, so where should we start? Childhood snapshot, maybe. What was it like growing up first generation Chinese American in New York City in the 80s? It's a lot.

Diana (01:53.436)
Okay.

Diana (02:03.807)
It is. Well, 1980s New York was very different from what it is today. Although, like the whole don't walk through Central Park by yourself, you're a woman, don't walk through Central Park at night. I grew up with that because we heard the repercussions of it. And honestly, to this day, I still do not walk through Central Park at night. Even though I know it's safe, I still don't do it. That definitely stuck with me. I grew up in Brooklyn Heights, which is one of the honestly

Tessie (02:08.875)
I believe it.

Tessie (02:25.78)
Yeah, smart.

Diana (02:33.415)
one of the most amazing places to grow up. I love saying that I come from New York City. I grew up with the big buildings, the hustle and bustle. And I grew up with the stinky smells. There were a lot of stinky smells. I remember that. 1980s New York was a more dangerous place. I remember driving through Times Square with my dad and my whole family.

Tessie (02:49.464)
Yes, that's true.

Diana (03:02.711)
and my dad locking the doors and rolling up the windows and him saying, do not make eye contact because you never know who you were going to look at. And it was like really tense. so, opposed to Times Square today, you walk out there in the middle of the night and there's people all the time and they're all tourists and they're wonderful and happy. So it was very different. It definitely felt like I was...

Tessie (03:09.356)
Hahaha

Diana (03:28.159)
trapped between two cultures. So one that was a Chinese traditional, very traditional Chinese culture and one that was American. So at home I had to be, you know, the obedient good daughter. I had to strive for academic excellence and the family was always first. And then being an American going to school in a public school system, I always tried to belong, but I always felt like I

didn't because I looked very different. No one looked like me in my neighborhoods except for the rest of my family. No one ate the foods that I did. No one dressed the way I did. My parents were, you know, they didn't have a lot of money, so they just, I had a lot of hand-me-downs. And when they went shopping, they went shopping in Chinatown, so I wore like their traditional beautifully embroidered like Chinese jackets and stuff, but no one was wearing that in the 80s. So I definitely

felt like an outcast. And at home, I didn't speak Chinese very well. So I couldn't really communicate with my grandparents that well. it's like no one really got me whether I was in school or whether I was back at home. So was very in between cultures is what is the best way to describe it. Like you didn't really belong anywhere.

Tessie (04:51.586)
Wow. So can you paint a picture of your living situation? Like one bedroom apartment with four siblings? I can't even imagine. But like grandparents next door? How awesome.

Diana (05:04.959)
So I lived in an apartment. It was a one bedroom apartment. And my grandparents were in a brownstone house next door with my aunts and uncles and my cousins. we were a very, very close family. My apartment, so there were four kids and two adults. So there's six people in a one bedroom apartment. And honestly, I thought it was huge because when you're a kid, everything looked bigger. And now when I go back to it, I'm like, how did we all fit in here? But we did somehow.

Tessie (05:30.236)
Yeah.

Diana (05:34.879)
I don't know how we did it. My mom is a saint and my dad is a magician. It was roach infested. I remember there are roaches everywhere. Squishing them was just a normal part of childhood. Yeah, that was not great. I didn't love that. And I'm not a bug person. I remember.

Tessie (05:36.386)
Your mom's a saint, that's for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Tessie (05:53.463)
my gosh.

No.

Diana (06:02.355)
that I was, so in my, in my house, we're traditional Chinese. So we take off our shoes at the front door. So we're barefoot in the house. And one night I got up to get a drink of water and it's dark and I walk out into the hallway. It was a very short hallway because like I said, it's a one bedroom apartment and I'm barefoot and I stepped down and there was something fuzzy under my foot. So I jumped back and it was a roach about, would say about two inches long and

Tessie (06:22.844)
god.

Diana (06:31.387)
That's when I discovered roaches have furry backs. I did not know that. I did not want to know that. I know.

Tessie (06:35.668)
my god. I'm dying knowing that.

Diana (06:42.035)
I still get what I think about that memory. have like goosebumps up and down my spine.

Tessie (06:47.667)
my God. I'm dying just thinking about it. I would die.

Diana (06:53.343)
That was just something I grew up with, I mean, you just roll with it, because that's...

Tessie (06:59.148)
Yeah, when you're a kid, you don't really know any different. That's what you know. Yeah.

Diana (07:02.099)
Yup. There were, we had a lot of homeless on the streets. I know that my dad was mugged a couple times on his way to work and coming home. I remember, yeah, I remember that there were certain streets you don't go down. Like now in Brooklyn Heights, like everything is beautiful and wonderful and super safe. And I remember those were the neighborhoods, like these converted luxury condo apartments now.

Tessie (07:13.624)
Jeez.

Diana (07:27.999)
were warehouses and you don't go down those streets because you're gonna get shot. I remember that. I loved having my grandparents and my cousins and my aunts and uncles next door. That was a lot of fun. I got to see them every day pretty much. We got to run around at least in their house because in a one bedroom apartment, you can't run and you can't scream and you can't jump. And when you're a kid, that's all you wanna do. I was...

Tessie (07:32.192)
Wow. Wow.

Tessie (07:51.534)
No.

Tessie (07:55.339)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (07:55.945)
constantly being scolded by my parents who go, shh, shh, quiet, quiet. But fortunately, we were like one of the few, the only kids in the entire apartment building. So everyone was really understanding, but there's only so much that people will understand when you're jumping around at two in the morning. So I get that now.

Tessie (08:02.562)
me now.

Tessie (08:16.871)
yeah, for sure. Yeah, as an adult.

Diana (08:20.927)
Even if we wanted to go outside, we really couldn't because there's traffic and everything was walking distance. So I didn't grow up in a car. My parents had a car, but we walked everywhere. So I was, I still to this day enjoy walking around the city, but you couldn't go anywhere by yourself because like I said, you can't turn down certain streets and expect to come out in one piece. So it was definitely a mix. was a lot of caution.

Tessie (08:25.336)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (08:36.397)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (08:43.054)
my gosh, that's so crazy.

Diana (08:49.672)
And it taught me to really control my instincts. Like when you step on a roach and it's the middle of night, you don't scream or jump because the neighbors downstairs are gonna get real mad.

Tessie (09:00.43)
And you're gonna wake up the whole house.

Diana (09:03.015)
Yeah, right. So that's what it was like. It was a lot of fun. I got to see a lot of amazing things. grew up with Broadway shows. I grew up with amazing museums, fantastic food, a multicultural community, as multicultural as we could get back then. It's not as diverse as it is now, but it was still diverse because it's still New York City. So I grew up with all that excitement and I loved it.

I absolutely loved it.

Tessie (09:33.548)
That sounds awesome. So different from what I grew up. Everybody knows. Very opposite.

Diana (09:35.423)
It was. Yes. You were you were a free range kid. I was very much on a leash because you're gonna get hit by a car.

Tessie (09:43.886)
Yeah, do you have any like funny or memorable like in between world moments as a kid?

Diana (09:54.023)
I do. this one recently, it's been something that I've been thinking about lately. And I don't know why, but it popped into my memory bank before we even started thinking about this episode. it's not a funny one, but it did make me pause and think. And I guess I can turn back and laugh now. But do remember when you were a kid and it was your birthday and your parents would bring cupcakes to celebrate your birthday with your class? Do you remember doing that? Yeah.

Tessie (10:20.142)
Yeah. Did my parents do that? I don't even know. I don't remember. Yeah, I remember that happening.

Diana (10:25.151)
I'm pretty good. Well, for other kids then. Well, most parent families, bring store-bought cupcakes or they make cupcakes. And I remember I begged my parents that I wanted some sort of cake in my classroom for my first grade birthday. And so they did. But instead of getting like cupcakes and frosting and candy and all those things,

Tessie (10:31.296)
Yeah

Diana (10:53.319)
they brought in cakes from Chinatown. So my dad actually left work to pick up these cakes from Chinatown and brought it to my school for me in the middle of the day in Brooklyn. So he left work, which is unheard of for like a first generation dad. Dads don't leave their work because they worked, but dad made that exception for me.

Tessie (11:15.246)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (11:17.337)
And instead of bringing in the cupcakes, they brought in something that's similar to, it's called ankuan in Chinese, but it's similar to like a Swiss roll. So it's like a spongy yellow cake that's like, you bake in a, it's really flat, but really soft and spongy. And it's filled with whipped cream and then you roll it. So you get that swirl in the middle and then you cut it into slices. That's what they brought me. And I was so embarrassed. I want...

Tessie (11:43.479)
What if that sounds amazing though? Now, but I can see why you were embarrassed as a kid.

Diana (11:47.295)
It does. Because I wanted to fit in. All I wanted to do was fit in as a kid and God, mean, can I stick out more now? I don't remember if people eat it or not, honestly, but I remember just being embarrassed. I'm embarrassed to say that, to admit that because my parents tried so hard and here I am like, and shame on me.

Tessie (11:52.62)
Yeah.

Tessie (11:57.804)
now. my gosh.

Tessie (12:05.051)
my gosh.

Tessie (12:12.256)
Do you think that the kids noticed? Like that it wasn't a cupcake or like a cake?

Diana (12:18.047)
I think they did. Or maybe it's just me internalizing it, like the percept, like the way I viewed the classroom because I knew it wasn't. And so I was embarrassed. So I thought that they were. So I think in my memory bank, they did notice and we didn't have a candle. Of course you would never use a candle in school nowadays because that is a fire hazard. But we did back then because it's the 1980s, but we didn't have a candle. So my first grade teacher, I remember her, Miss Auslander. I loved her.

Tessie (12:25.556)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally.

Tessie (12:30.914)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (12:46.719)
She took the pink ribbon from the box and she folded it up and pretended it was a birthday candle and we sang happy birthday. But I remember that was that's when I'm that's something that's stuck out of my mind for recently in my head of how hard my parents tried and how I still feel like I never fit in and I hate that. I hate that. I had that memory of being embarrassed, but I was and Mom and dad you're listening. I appreciate you. Thank you

Tessie (13:11.896)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (13:16.333)
Hahaha!

Diana (13:16.351)
But that was, it was, they're trying, my parents tried so hard to help us fit in, but at same time, we kind of stuck out a little bit.

Tessie (13:27.126)
Yeah, understandably. That's just going to happen. That's inevitable.

Diana (13:29.439)
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But I didn't understand that as a kid. Because I was a kid.

Tessie (13:36.334)
No, no, of course not. Yeah. No. And what was your dad doing at that time? For work.

Diana (13:43.451)
My dad has a degree in fashion, so he went to FIT. he came from China when he was in his 30s. My mom came over when she was much younger. She was about seven years old when she came over. So she grew up in New York. My dad came over when he was in his 30s. So when he went from China to Hong Kong, because Hong Kong was always a stop off before coming to America.

He stayed in Hong Kong for a while and he worked in clothing factories. So he learned to be a pattern maker. So when he came to America, he started working in sweatshops to save up money and eventually put himself through FIT because he was like, well, you know, I know fashion, that's what I can do. So he worked in fashion. That's what he did. So he made clothes for like...

Tessie (14:31.648)
Hmm. Okay.

Diana (14:35.145)
places like Macy's, Woolworth. I think he had worked for Calvin Klein. He also had clients like Vera Wang and stuff like that. he kind of made the whole gamut of clothes. So that's what my dad did. Yeah.

Tessie (14:47.63)
That's great. Yeah. All right. Let's do some getting to know you nuggets. Okay. Quick questions. Favorite childhood food or snack?

Diana (14:58.343)
Okay, so Oreo cookies were, still are one of my most favorite snacks. and Cheez-Its, I love Cheez-Its. It's horrible, but yeah, I love fake Cheez-Its, it's terrible. Yes, they are, they are. And goldfish crackers, of course. But my traditional Chinese dessert that I would love that my dad always got me on the weekends was called a chicken tail bun. I don't know why it was called a chicken tail bun.

Tessie (15:02.411)
Hahaha!

Tessie (15:06.51)
The spicy ones are so good. my God. Yeah.

Diana (15:24.509)
But it's translated into that. It's translated from guy me bow, which means literally chicken tail bun. But it's like this oblong sweet bun and it is filled with coconuts, nuts and sugar. It is delicious. And it's like this spongee like the soft pillowy bread that encases this deliciousness inside. But that's what I loved when I was kid.

Tessie (15:37.335)
Wow.

Tessie (15:46.87)
Of course, a kid would love that.

Diana (15:49.265)
Yeah, right. As an adult, I still love it.

Tessie (15:51.726)
All right, what about a quirky habit or nickname that sticks with you? That's funny.

Diana (15:59.913)
So if you ever hear me with my siblings, they don't call me by my name, Diana. They call me by their nickname for me, which is I.D. So in Chinese culture, we call each other by our... It's very hierarchical in Chinese culture, first of all. So we call each other by a title. So there's always brother and sister, but if there's multiple, you have...

older brother, oldest brother, younger brother, baby brother, and so on and so forth. Same thing for girls. So I'm the oldest sister. So I means oldest and D means sister. So I, D. You make that, you turn that into phonetics in the alphabet. It's the letters I and the letter D, like id, basically. So even to this day when I, I,

sign my name on a birthday card, it's ID. It's not my actual name. And we all, all of us, we all have nicknames. We do not have, we do not use our actual given on our birth certificate names, but all four of us have our nicknames.

Tessie (17:03.619)
I love that.

Tessie (17:08.238)
That's awesome. My husband's culture is similar to that. They don't really call each other by their first names. They have like cultural names they call each other. Same thing like little sister, big brother. Yeah.

Diana (17:15.357)
Yeah, that's it.

Yep, yep.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so you totally get it. You totally where I'm coming So does he still go by that or do they still call or in his family? They call him by his actual given name

Tessie (17:25.422)
Yeah. Oh yeah.

Tessie (17:31.016)
No, no, nobody calls them by their like, he calls his sister one thing his mom and dad call him one thing. His sister calls him a different thing. It all is like it's formed by the culture. Yeah.

Diana (17:39.089)
Mm-hmm. Yep. That's what it is.

Yes, exactly. So yeah, mine is literally the letters I and D when I because we changed it to American because we're Americanized that way.

Tessie (17:53.55)
Yeah. Yep. So what is one of your favorite neighborhood memories or like spots to hang out in New York City?

Diana (18:05.631)
I, my favorite, my favorite thing growing up was the cranberry street fair. so I lived in neighborhood where all the streets are named after fruits. So there's like pineapple street, cranberry street, orange tree. Yeah, it's really cute. It's really cute. And so there's the cranberry street fair every fall. And of course it's cranberry themed, right? Everything is cranberry themed. So they had like.

games and contests and races. And I always had so much fun. And like everyone came out, you sold like, it was like an open garage sale type of thing. And I remember finding like the best toys and everything. It was so much fun. And actually the Cranberry Street Fair was where I won my first Bake Off contest.

Tessie (18:54.765)
cool, what'd you bake? What'd make?

Diana (18:57.491)
I made cranberry walnut chocolate chip cookies. So it was so good. so my aunt and I, my Aunt Jean and we, I idolized her as a little girl because she was older than me. She was in college, super sophisticated, super smart, but she always made time to bake with me when she came home on college breaks.

Tessie (19:02.734)
that sounds amazing.

Diana (19:24.881)
And so she came home for this break and we made these cookies. I was so proud of them. And I think I had a doctor's appointment that day, like a checkup the day of the fair. And so she entered them into the contest for me and I won and she brought home like a little baggie of gifts and a little ribbon for me. And I was just so proud. I was so happy. So the Cranberry Street Fair was one of my most favorite childhood memories.

Tessie (19:52.728)
That's awesome. So what do you think like, what traditions or values shaped your childhood that still influence you today, especially as a mother?

Diana (20:07.767)
boy, that's a hard one because when I was growing up, I very much tried to distance myself from the Chinese culture. because I wanted to be, I wanted to be American. I wanted to be anything but me. I'm sad that I say that. ashamed to say that, but it's, it's the honest truth.

Tessie (20:23.682)
I feel like it's probably common though, you know?

Diana (20:26.399)
I would think so. So now I'm kind of relearning things. Our household is very, very, very Americanized. But I do have a lot of memories that I'm trying to incorporate, and I'm still working on that because my daughter is so young. But I remember going to Temple in Chinatown for the high holidays, and I remember going in and it was going up the stairs and it's crowded.

Tessie (20:28.267)
Yeah.

Tessie (20:35.692)
Hahaha!

Diana (20:56.137)
because it's a high holiday. So everyone in Chinatown is there. And we didn't have that many Buddhist temples out there. But when you walk in, there are these giant, like larger than life floor to ceiling statues of these Buddhist deities who we worshiped. And it's filled with incense and gorgeous cascading flowers and water features and all those things. And everyone is just there and mixing and mingling together. You had everyone from

every socioeconomic ladder there. So anyone from the super wealthy who's Chinese and believe in anyone who is not as well off. But I remember that there was always honesty there. So one of the things that you do is you bring in an offering to temple and what you do is you put it in front of these statues and you say your prayers and your thanks and you light the incense. And the idea is like you're sharing your bounty with these

with these deities. And then you, of course, you get to bring it home and consume it later and supposed to be like lucky blessed food type of thing. And people would bring in like insane things like not just fruits and oranges, but very elaborate desserts and food and candy and things like that. And no matter what, I've never ever heard anyone complain, someone took this because you didn't put your name on it.

Tessie (22:19.118)
Hmm.

Diana (22:21.501)
You just put it on a plate, you put it over there and it is all based on honesty. And I remember thinking, wow, there's a certain sacred ground, certain things you just don't mess with. You do not lie in temple. You do not do anything that's dishonest here. Yeah, right. They know. They know you did it in their house. How dare you?

Tessie (22:34.091)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you go straight to hell, right? I don't know if they have hell, but...

yeah.

Diana (22:48.731)
I remember going, wow, everyone here respects everyone. And that really made an impression on me because it made me realize that there are places where you just put aside everything and there's something bigger out there that we all believe together. And that's actually a really beautiful thing because no matter where you come from, no matter what you're going through, we are all in this together. And I always love that.

Tessie (23:15.95)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Diana (23:18.175)
Chinese New Year is a really big one. It's like Western Christmas. So for my daughter, I plan on making it a big holiday. She will miss school for Chinese New Year. It depends. It depends. It ebbs and flows every year. It's based on the lunar calendar. So it can be as early as January and also as late as March. So it's kind of fluid. So every day is a little different. Every year is a little bit different. And I honestly don't know what the days are. have to ask my mom.

Tessie (23:27.906)
Now what day is that? Chinese New Year. Okay.

Tessie (23:40.078)
Diana (23:47.711)
because she knows how to read it. Yeah, yeah, I don't know how to read it. it's never, we just don't really know, but I do plan on, I never miss school. So, I always wanted to miss school, even though it was the biggest holiday. If it wasn't on a weekend, we don't get that day off. My parents still sent me to school. My daughter's missing school. I've already decided that.

Tessie (23:49.122)
She tracks it. Yeah.

That's awesome.

Tessie (24:10.51)
I'm gonna...

I bet you weren't allowed to miss school unless you were like bleeding or broken bone or something.

Diana (24:13.297)
It's gonna be a day of fun.

Diana (24:20.975)
Yeah, pretty much. I remember the only reason why I missed like a long stretch of school is because I had chickenpox and I was not allowed to come back. Basically, they had to ban me before my parents said, okay, you can stay home.

Tessie (24:30.376)
Yeah, exactly.

I can see that.

Diana (24:41.499)
something else that I do now is I call close friends, aunties and uncles. So I always did that. So when I was growing up, I didn't know who was actually aunt and uncle, like who I'm biologically related to, because it felt like in Chinatown, everyone knew my grandmothers. So it felt like everyone was an aunt and uncle. I just didn't realize that, that, you they're actually just family friends. So I didn't understand that when I was young.

Tessie (25:01.068)
yeah!

Diana (25:06.803)
But now for my daughter, I do refer to like you, Tessie, as Aunt Tessie. And, you know, so I do take that with me. I do take that with me.

Tessie (25:16.886)
Yeah, this is like fascinating. There's so many like, similarities between you and my husband, which I didn't realize. But one thing that he gets all the time is like, well, I get it too. Like, where are you from? Where are you from? Like, where's your husband from? And I'm like, I mean, from America, like he grew up here, you know, like, did people assume that same about you?

Diana (25:22.833)
Yeah. Yeah.

Diana (25:30.569)
Yes!

Diana (25:39.571)
All the time, even to this day, they like to go, where are you from? And I say, New York City. No, but where are you really from? I'm really from New York City. And then they have to stop and regroup and go, okay, but where's your family from? Like New York City, but if you mean where did my parents come, where were my parents born? They were born in China. And then they go, yeah, that's it. That's what I mean. Does your husband get that a lot?

Tessie (25:47.342)
Yeah.

Tessie (25:55.704)
Yeah.

Tessie (26:02.478)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (26:08.288)
time. I even get it too. Like, where's your husband from? And then I'm like, he's from Southern California. You know, it's like, no, but like, where are they from? never happens to me. Like, I'm like this German Italian. Nobody ever asked me that question ever.

Diana (26:17.235)
Yeah.

Diana (26:30.055)
No one asked my husband that question either. My husband is from the South. I mean, I don't think they even know when they came over. I'm pretty sure his family came over on the Mayflower type of scenario. I'm pretty sure.

Tessie (26:31.662)
No!

Bye.

Tessie (26:41.966)
See, like I'm not even that far. My ancestors came like only before my parents, you know, or before my grandparents. So it's not like my family's even that old.

Diana (26:51.934)
Okay.

Diana (26:56.415)
So you're what, third generation? Yeah, yeah, so yeah, you're not that far removed, but no one asked you that question. You know what, you know what I often get a lot? you talk really good. I'm like, yeah, thanks. Thanks, it's like my primary language. Yeah, they're where are you from, Idaho?

Tessie (26:59.455)
yes. No, no one asked me.

Tessie (27:11.662)
You

You don't even have an accent. Go figure.

Diana (27:21.595)
It's so funny. If people talk to me on the phone, and this happened for the longest time. Now it's not so much, but when I was younger, people would talk to me on the phone and you can't, I try to really diminish my New York accent. I do have words, but I really try hard not to let it slip out. And they go, where are you from? Idaho? And I'm like, no, I'm from New York. And then they see me they're like, huh? What? You're Asian. I didn't get that. What's going on?

Tessie (27:37.25)
That's funny.

Tessie (27:45.515)
Mwahahah!

Tessie (27:50.078)
That's so funny. They didn't see that coming. So like being the first generation basically here in America, where you're very like, are your parents very focused on like, education, school from an early age?

Diana (27:51.615)
No, they did not. They did not.

Diana (28:10.879)
It was understood that I had three options in life. Lawyer, doctor, engineer. Anything else?

Tessie (28:15.337)
Hahaha!

Tessie (28:19.095)
my god, this is my parents' family too.

Diana (28:24.125)
Those are the three accepted professions anything else would consider non-existent or lesser than.

Tessie (28:26.318)
It's hilarious.

this is why they don't like me

That's hilarious.

Diana (28:37.727)
But so of course I chose doctor. Everything was about our education. My family to this day, and I mean, I still do for my daughter. Education is primary, it's first. And I'm very fortunate that my parents gave me the best. When it came to our education, was everything went into it. I even went to summer school and I got straight A's. I went to summer school. I went to Chinese summer school. So we moved to Staten Island.

And we, had to, there was no Chinese summer school. There's no summer school, basically academic summer school. So they found a program in Queens and every morning at 6 a.m. a bus came and picked up me and my two siblings. And we were the first to be picked up and the last to be dropped off. So basically we sat in this bus, two hours there, two hours back.

And the school was only about three hours long. It's like from nine to 12. But because we were the first ones to get on the bus and the last ones to get off the bus, didn't, we, our days were 12 hours long. And.

Tessie (29:49.912)
Did your parents plan that as like free childcare at the time or something? that's awful.

Diana (29:54.079)
No, they paid a lot of money for it. A lot of money for all of that. But it was for SAT prep. SAT prep, okay? And do know how old I was?

Tessie (30:04.616)
Well, seven.

Diana (30:08.157)
No, I was in sixth or seventh grade. So I was like, yeah, I was in middle school, middle school. So everything went into that. And then they enrolled me in, do you know the program, Kumon? Kumon, K-U-M-O-N. So later on, they found this other Chinese lady who in China, in Staten Island, who opened up her home and she did the Kumon program. And the idea is that it's tutoring.

Tessie (30:11.037)
my gosh.

Tessie (30:21.272)
Mm-mm.

Diana (30:37.203)
The idea is to strengthen the weakened areas of your academics and to help you excel beyond. their protocol is repetition, repetition and speed. So they want accuracy and they want speed. So every single week I had extra homework to do. And every week I had to, every single day for the week, I had to take out these worksheets. And for me, my weakness was math, especially fractions at the time.

And I had to do these little booklets of math and I had to time myself. And at the end of the week, I would turn them into the teacher and she would mark them. And I had to meet a certain minimum standard. And if I didn't meet the minimum, I had to do it again the next week. And of course the next week I got better at it because guess what? I didn't learn anything. I just memorized the answer. So, right. I just memorized.

Tessie (31:25.867)
Wow.

Tessie (31:33.047)
yeah, that's smart. Are you still really good at math?

Diana (31:37.489)
You know what? It did help me because I did get better at math and I did become more confident. I am glad that my parents did that for me, but believe me, I hated it. I stayed there until I went to into pre calculus, but my siblings stayed forever. think they went through calculus with that program. Like before they got into high school, I'm like, what the what? So yes, everything was about education and getting us the next best thing for education. So yeah.

Tessie (31:41.166)
Yeah.

Tessie (31:45.483)
Mm-hmm. I know

Tessie (32:03.02)
Yeah.

Tessie (32:06.68)
So how did that, like obviously that was a family value around success. Like how did that influence your drive individually?

Diana (32:15.999)
it made me very driven. I was very result oriented. I still am a very results oriented person. And it, I think it, was a good thing and bad thing because it made me really dedicated to what I do. I'm incredibly focused. I'm like, I guess a pit bull. I see something. Yeah, I'm going to get it. It's going to happen, but

Tessie (32:27.991)
Yeah.

Diana (32:45.871)
I'm very linear, unfortunately. I never learned how to pivot because of those programs. was just repetition all the time, the same thing over and over and over again. There was no, you couldn't get the answer in a different way from what they stated it to be. And so as a result of that, I'm not really one that pivots really well. I like things planned. So I think that's how it's, it's affected. It's influenced me. Thank you.

Tessie (33:06.094)
You're such a good planner. You're so good at planning. Where's no opposite, I feel like that.

Diana (33:16.253)
But no, we're great because I don't do well when it doesn't come to fruition. And you're like, no, don't worry. We got this. Come on, let's go. And I'm like, okay, this is part of the plan. This is Tessie's plan now. I can do this.

Tessie (33:20.974)
Yeah.

Tessie (33:28.994)
I love that. Yeah. So like moving on to like adult life.

Diana (33:38.527)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (33:40.398)
People might see you as privileged. You know, you're a stay at home mom, doctor, husband. What's the story behind that though? Because like, you know, it's never what people see from the outside, never.

Diana (33:53.631)
I think that a version, I think all stay-at-home moms have a quote unquote reputation no matter where you come from, no matter what your financial status is. And it is a form of privilege. And I'm going to say this, this is my story, this is for me, so I'm going to say this. I am a privileged woman. Yes, I am a privileged woman. Not because I married a doctor or anything like that, but I'm privileged because I work.

I fought, I scraped, and I dreamed for everything that I have now. I know you feel the same way. I didn't marry a doctor. I married a man who happened to go into the healthcare profession. That's how I see it. That's how I see it. He wasn't a doctor when I met him. We were students.

Tessie (34:34.296)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (34:41.41)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Tessie (34:49.12)
Yeah.

Diana (34:49.899)
with nothing to our name except exponential student debt, which we still have. We still have a ridiculous amount of student debt. know, yes, yes. So while he was still in school, I kept us afloat. I worked when I could and I traveled wherever he went so we could stay together. I actually, we were so poor that I actually learned to bake bread because I couldn't afford a loaf of bread at the supermarket.

Tessie (34:58.594)
That happens, yeah.

Tessie (35:17.774)
That is awesome. Now I bake bread because I think it's healthier. I do wonder, is it cheaper? Because I've never done the calculations. We're good to know.

Diana (35:29.663)
It is. It is. how much I broke it down. I'm like, okay. So I'm again, one of those people, hey, I went to Kumon for math so I can do math really well now, I went to Queens for math in the summertime. I know, right? I can tell. So yes, I did do the math. And when I broke it down at the time, it was like $1.98 per loaf as opposed to I think it was like

Tessie (35:38.254)
Yeah.

Tessie (35:44.974)
12 hours a day.

Tessie (35:55.987)
Wow!

Diana (35:58.463)
350 and I was like, I can save that money. I can save that money for bread. And so I learned how to bake bread. Oh, we lived in New York City. I was working in dermatology then and I loved my job. Loved it. But we were living in the not greatest places. We lived in Harlem and it was a trip.

Tessie (36:00.023)
Yeah.

Diana (36:27.887)
After, I don't know how we did this, but after we paid our monthly bills, our utilities, our student loans, our rent, do know how much we had at the end of the month? We have $40, four zero dollars. And that is for two adults in New York City for food, transportation and entertainment.

Tessie (36:43.354)
my gosh.

Tessie (36:52.362)
My gosh, there's no entertainment happening there.

Diana (36:54.623)
There is no interest, but you know what you're in New York, so it doesn't matter you walk outside and you're entertained So it doesn't really matter. I don't need to go for a show. It's all in front of you

Tessie (36:59.912)
that's true. That's yeah, it's huh. There you go. All the tourists, all the people watching I bet was fun.

Diana (37:10.131)
So fun. but that's actually what we did on the weekends. We didn't go anywhere. We stayed in Manhattan and instead of, you know, spending the, I forget how much a train was. we walked, we walked so much. We were super fit. We didn't need a gym membership, but we, we would walk like on the weekends, we would walk like 10 to 12 miles a day. But we, so we were, I mean, I I joke around that we were just getting ready for our future life of hiking in Arizona.

Tessie (37:25.94)
Yes! yes!

Tessie (37:31.992)
Ha ha

Tessie (37:39.15)
Which you did a lot of.

Diana (37:41.69)
Yes, I did. But I I never took a government handout. Yes, our parents did help us here and there when they could, but we had $40 and we never ate out. Even though I was in New York City and in the center of the most amazing food in the world, I cooked and baked bread.

Tessie (37:49.458)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (38:03.906)
Yeah, I love that.

Diana (38:06.915)
I, so yes, I am a privileged woman because I, worked for it and I'm also privileged woman because I failed a lot. I failed a lot and I'm going to be honest. I, know your husband knows this because he invited me to give a talk to some of his students a little while ago, but I don't know if he told you about it, but this is the reason,

I never became a doctor and it took me a long time to be okay with saying this, but I failed. I failed my US MLEs, which is a US medical licensing exam. I was a great student. I had excellent grades. I knew my stuff inside and out. That's been my entire life, but I am a horrible test taker, horrible test taker.

Tessie (39:02.028)
Yeah, and I've heard that test is hard. A lot of people fail it. Yeah.

Diana (39:05.03)
It is hard. It is hard. It is hard. And I, even though I studied really hard, I failed. And I didn't just fail once. I failed three times. And not just by like, it wasn't like a lot. was literally, every single time I failed was by one point. It broke my heart. It broke my heart. But that was the first time I ever failed in my life.

Tessie (39:19.171)
man.

Tessie (39:22.881)
Yeah.

Tessie (39:26.254)
That's so frustrating. my God.

Diana (39:35.369)
because everything always worked out. I studied hard, I got through it, no problem. But because of that, I had to reassess everything. I had to get back up, which was really hard. I had to figure out who I really am and whether I really wanted this medical degree. And I finally learned to live my dreams, not my parents' dreams, not what other people thought of me, but really just for me, what did I want? Where is my passion?

Tessie (40:04.802)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (40:04.951)
And that's why I can count myself lucky that I am privileged because I failed and I learned to get back up. And I learned a lot about myself and those around me at the time. The people who are still around me today stood by me. Those who didn't, they didn't. But that's when someone says I'm privileged. Yes, I am privileged. And I'm proud to say I'm privileged.

Tessie (40:25.218)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (40:34.217)
but I worked for that.

Tessie (40:35.788)
Yeah, you did. And what about like your upbringing? Is there anything like unexpectedly that helped you navigate like through that or through motherhood or resilience or how do you feel like that ties in?

Diana (40:53.599)
I, a lot of resilience, dedication, because when you come from an immigrant family, you don't have a lot of resources. So you work with what you have. And when you have $40 for the month in New York City, have to be creative. A can of beans does so much. It's amazing.

Tessie (40:56.302)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (41:03.662)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (41:11.406)
I know what that's like.

Tessie (41:17.412)
my gosh, I love beans to this day. I live on, I've lived on beans too. It's so funny too, like I think about back in the day when I used to make a lot of things, you know, and I don't make as much as I used to anymore, but I had to. I felt like you had similar situation. Yeah.

Diana (41:27.956)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (41:31.711)
Yeah. Yes, absolutely. A hundred percent. You know, you know what my husband doesn't like anymore? Peanut butter. He had, he ate so many peanut butter sandwiches in college that he can't even look at peanut butter to this day. I totally get it. I totally get it. But yes. Um, I think resilience, dedication, hard work.

Tessie (41:48.162)
God, I could totally relate to that. Yes.

Diana (42:01.667)
And the main thing, and I'm still coming to terms with this, is that something mainstream may not be the right path for you. I was all about, like growing up, I was all about trying to fit in everything mainstream, but it didn't fit into my family dynamic because obviously my parents and my family is very traditional. And now that I'm older, I'm realizing things that are on TikTok, they don't work for me in real life. And that's okay.

Tessie (42:10.924)
Mm-hmm.

Tessie (42:29.451)
No.

Diana (42:31.519)
That's okay! I can do me and that's okay!

Tessie (42:35.926)
Yeah, that's so funny because I'm like complete opposite like rebel from the beginning.

Diana (42:41.221)
Yes. Mm hmm. Yes. Yeah. you know, I, when I look back, when I look at all the rebels, I admired them, that they had that swagger, that confidence. I didn't have that swagger or that confidence because I just wanted to blend in. I didn't want to stick out. We're so different.

Tessie (42:59.704)
Do you feel like motherhood has changed you in that? That you have a little more of the rebel in you and more confidence?

Diana (43:06.517)
yeah. yeah, because I don't think I care as much or I don't have the bandwidth to care anymore. I'm just like, I'm going to do me and that's it. This works for us. If you don't like it, that's cool. You do you. I respect that. yeah, definitely, definitely, motherhood has definitely changed me and motherhood growing up the way I did not having all my resources has definitely helped me with toddlerhood because

Tessie (43:11.351)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Tessie (43:20.367)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Diana (43:33.631)
I definitely don't have all the resources every day to, cause I never know what's coming from her. She's a curve ball. So I've, I've learned to adapt. I've learned to adapt. Like I remember when she was a little baby, I forgot to order wipes and I'm home alone and she pooped and I'm like, what do I do? What do I do? So I stopped and I thought, and I thought, what did mom do? Cause we didn't have wipes cause wipes were expensive.

Tessie (43:57.728)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Diana (44:00.603)
Literally, my mom took a rag, wiped us off and then washed us in the sink. And so that's what I did. So I that's what I did. I washed I wiped her down. I gave her bottom a little rinse off in the sink. And then I got onto Amazon and ordered the wipes.

Tessie (44:13.358)
Exactly. Yeah. Like what surprised you most about like motherhood and maybe even being a stay at home mom, the fact that you are one. Did you ever imagine that?

Diana (44:29.503)
No, no, no, no. I thought I would be that mom that pops at a kid and then takes her and then drops her off at daycare and that's it. And pick him up at the end and then go home. I thought I would have a live-in nanny probably from right now. I don't know what I was really thinking. An au pair, yes, an au pair. No, I'm too basic for that. I'm not fancy enough for that.

Tessie (44:38.03)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tessie (44:46.134)
Yeah, au pair. Not fancy.

Diana (44:58.015)
So this is definitely not where I thought my life would be, but I love it. I don't want to be anywhere else. It's hard. It is hard. There are days that I just want to talk to another grownup, but if you talk to 18-year-old me, I think she would choke on her water and go, what are you saying? What are you doing? But this is where I am, and I love being a stay-at-home mom.

Tessie (45:05.527)
Yeah.

Tessie (45:20.558)
I'm

Diana (45:26.653)
I love being a mom in general. It's awesome. It's amazing. I didn't, it really is. And I didn't think I would like to be a parent. I didn't think I would enjoy it. It was one of those things where I thought I had to do it because it was expected. That's it.

Tessie (45:29.122)
The best. That's the best job ever.

Tessie (45:41.42)
Yeah, yeah.

Diana (45:43.455)
So yeah, was me and now I'm wiser.

Tessie (45:47.704)
So how does your cultural background influence the way that you do parent? Like what traditions, practices, what did you take from your childhood and what did you reject?

Diana (46:00.047)
I actually embrace a lot more than I thought I would, honestly. I thought, so I grew up like with a lot of Chinese foods and things like that, because my parents couldn't afford a lot of like, like baby foods and stuff like that. I remember them making baby food from scratch. And I remember thinking, I'm just gonna buy it, whatever. And I'm gonna get the ones in the jars and I'm not going to spend time in the kitchen.

Tessie (46:03.168)
cool, yeah.

Tessie (46:22.594)
I'm gonna be fancy.

Yeah.

Diana (46:29.763)
my gosh, I make baby, I made baby food left and right because I could. I had the time I was, I was mom, I had help. I can make the baby food. huh. And the health benefits of it all. But I remember, so one of the things that our traditional Chinese baby eats is something called jook or congee. It's a rice porridge. So it's when you cook it, it's a little bit of rice, a lot of water, and it makes the rice kind of like fall apart.

Tessie (46:34.222)
Bye.

And it's fresher. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Diana (46:56.263)
And then moms usually put some sort of broth or meat or veggies and just to get the flavoring in. that's like, and then they fish it all out of any like extra particles so the baby doesn't choke. And then that's what the baby eats. So they kind of get basically what the parent is eating only in a watered down version with a little bit of substance to it. And I remember going, I'm not doing that. I totally did that. I totally made her congee on a regular basis, that little rice porridge with

Tessie (47:13.773)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (47:26.111)
Um, my mom got me bone broth. She got me bone. My mom made bone broth and she gave it to me. So if I didn't have it from her, I bought it. I didn't make my own bone broth because I'm lazy, but yeah, I totally did that. So it is a lot of work and I'm just, I'm lazy. Um, so I actually take a lot more from my parents than I thought I would, which I, I, I find that really surprising. I'm really glad I do. I'm really glad I do.

Tessie (47:38.006)
Yeah, that's a lot of work.

Tessie (47:52.023)
Interesting.

Yeah. So like how has being the first among your siblings, like you made unconventional choices, you how has that shaped how you guide your daughter and how you raise her?

Diana (48:10.393)
I am trying to, like, you know, I am in the early phases, but I'm trying to teach her to do her, that I'm trying to respect her as a person, that I know that she can have her own opinions, her own thoughts, but I will, as a mother, give her my two cents and let her decide. Now, of course, we are in very limited quantities of that because she is a toddler and her judgment is not always right.

Tessie (48:39.244)
Ha.

Diana (48:40.615)
Like, mom, I want to jump off the dining room table is a hardcore no for me. But I did make very unconventional choices. And I hope that, especially with who I married, I married someone not from my culture. I married the all-American white boy from the South. And I wasn't the first one in my family, though. My aunt was. My aunt was. I was the second, but I was the first amongst my siblings to do it.

Tessie (48:44.942)
Tessie (48:56.619)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Diana (49:10.015)
And I hope that when she's at that point that whoever she chooses, if that person loves her and cares for her as much as my husband, my now husband does for me, that I would be okay with it. At least I hope so.

Tessie (49:26.03)
Yeah. How do you and your husband merge your cultures? Like Southern white culture, Chinese, first generation? how does that, does that like cause conflict ever? Like in how you're raising the baby or how do you like merge that?

Diana (49:45.865)
So fortunately we haven't had much conflict with that. Holidays are very different. So of course we have the big Southern Christmases with my in-laws and my husband's family. And honestly, my parents enjoy that too, but we divide it very well. So Thanksgiving is for my parents and Christmas is for...

Tessie (50:13.208)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (50:15.421)
my in-laws. And we can all get together. It's always understood. We can always get together. We don't have to have them separated. But we have yet to do that because I think it's just a lot of logistics. So we haven't done that yet. A lot of traditional Chinese holidays are actually when there are no holidays in Western culture. So it works out really well. Like, know, the midwinter blues that we get after Christmas, we have Chinese New Year.

Tessie (50:16.334)
Hmm, that makes sense.

Diana (50:44.957)
So it's kind of cool. Mid-Autumn Festival is also one of my favorites with mooncakes and all that stuff. that's like right at the fall. like, again, it varies, but it's usually like right after Labor Day and kind of right before Halloween. So it kind of falls in between. So everything has really worked out.

Tessie (50:45.332)
Mm.

Diana (51:14.203)
We, this year we had the Christmas tree up for a long time because I was just too lazy to move it out of the living room. So I put little Chinese decorations on it for Chinese New Year. I also did it for Valentine's Day. put little hearts on it. So, you know, we make it work. So a lot of Chinese foods. I'm not a great Chinese cook. So we, I do what I can, but my husband eats anything because he understands that you eat what I make you or you can fend for yourself. So he eats what I make him.

Tessie (51:20.206)
Yeah.

Tessie (51:27.662)
That's awesome.

Diana (51:43.263)
So we're cool there. We're cool there. And I'm very evidence-based. So if there is not a lot of scientific evidence for something, I don't really push it. And that's where he comes from too. So we were aligned there. So far it's been okay. So far it's been okay. Yeah.

Tessie (51:47.022)
That's awesome.

Tessie (51:55.427)
Yeah.

Tessie (52:01.688)
That's good. So what lessons from your upbringing, like do you hope your daughter takes and carries forward?

Diana (52:12.337)
I hope that she is resilient. I hope she is resourceful. And I hope that she surrounds herself with love. And that, I hope so. Those are my, that's what I really hope for her. That of everything that she surrounds herself with love and that she loves those around her and that those, though they love her as much as she deserves to be loved, which is a lot. But I hope that she's resilient and that she's resourceful.

Tessie (52:21.91)
Are she well? Yeah.

Tessie (52:40.049)
yeah.

Sounds like she's already resourceful with getting the two chocolate chips versus the one.

Diana (52:47.047)
Right? Right? I am so scared for me. I am so scared for me.

Tessie (52:52.758)
You got like the complete opposite. You got the rebel child. You are not gonna have to worry about her at all. Don't worry.

Diana (52:58.553)
Yes! I have a little Tessie. Yes, I love it!

Tessie (53:02.124)
Yeah, you can just start free range parenting her and it'll be fine. She'll turn out fine.

Diana (53:06.949)
love it. Well, I do have to work on my on my yard in the back side to fence that in. So I'm to let her go.

Tessie (53:13.45)
There you go.

Diana (53:16.862)
Oh, can I get some chickens to go out there with her too? Yeah, babe!

Tessie (53:19.694)
Heck yes, they could be her pets.

Diana (53:25.055)
Yay! Free range chicken, free range toddler. I love it.

Tessie (53:28.174)
There you go. They can just go together. I actually had a friend whose daughter had a pet chicken at, she was like two or three. She was very young and she would carry this chicken around in the house and she would like lock it in cabinets on accident because she was like two. But my friend would like find this chicken locked in the cabinet.

Diana (53:52.531)
Was the chicken angry? mean...

Tessie (53:54.656)
No, like chickens get along, I guess it like loved being her pet. It was so funny. It was so funny.

Diana (54:01.299)
I've only had bad experiences with chickens where they literally chase me.

Tessie (54:04.954)
Yeah. No, when I went to visit, they like tried to peck me to death, but it let this two-year-old like carried around the house and put it in locket and cabinets and play with it and fascinating. She was definitely a country girl.

Diana (54:17.947)
It's It's like, I feel like that should be an episode of National Geographic.

Tessie (54:25.058)
I know, right? Yeah, so like, what would you tell your younger self? Like one thing about identity, resilience or motherhood? What would that be?

Diana (54:27.743)
That is amazing.

Ugh.

Diana (54:42.035)
Be more like your mother. I tried so hard when I was a kid to not be my mother and I became my father. And I love my dad and it has great, great attributes. But honestly, be more like mom because your life will be so much happier. Mom is all about love. Mom is all about acceptance. Mom is all about giving and not expecting anything back because she does it out of pure love.

Tessie (54:47.298)
Hmm.

Tessie (54:54.67)
Yeah.

Tessie (55:10.05)
Mm-hmm.

Diana (55:11.109)
her life is so much happier. So be more like mom is what I would tell younger me. I would tell my daughter, be more like your grandmother. Don't be your mother. Do you? Don't be mommy.

Tessie (55:16.878)
I love that. All right.

Tessie (55:22.628)
my God, I tell my kids that all the time. Don't be, yes, because they pick up my traits. They're with me all the time. And then I like recognize them picking up my traits and they're not like my best attributes. And I'm like, don't be like me.

Diana (55:38.495)
Why can't they just pick the good ones, I mean?

Tessie (55:40.814)
No, they never pick the good ones. Why are you saying? Okay, don't, just don't go there. I always tell them be more like your father. He's like the sweet one, the gentle one.

Diana (55:46.335)
I know, Yes. More like a same. She could be either my husband or her grandmother. That's good.

Tessie (55:58.894)
Yeah, exactly. So what do you most want listeners to take away from this, from your story, from first generation experiences, privilege, parenting?

Diana (56:18.043)
I hope that they take away that first generation kids, they come with a lot of lessons from life and we carry those with us. A lot of resilience, creativity and drive. The drive to make the most out of every opportunity. And that most of all that privilege from the outside can look one way, but it's often filled with, it comes with a background of struggles.

Tessie (56:31.565)
Yeah.

Diana (56:48.083)
failures and really hard choices. And when it comes to parenting, I think that you do you. That's our theme for our show is you do you. You can honor your heritage. can pick and choose what you want. And you can follow your own path and still have kids who feel supported and loved and feel free to make their own choices. And you can still include your parents in it too.

It's just on your terms. It doesn't have to be exactly their way or not their way, but it's your way because you are the parent. know, life is messy and sometimes hilarious, but if you show up with love and curiosity and courage, that's what really counts. At least I'm trying to remember that for myself and I hope listeners take that away too. Thank you.

Tessie (57:35.649)
Yeah.

Tessie (57:41.004)
Yeah, I love that. This was such a fun episode. Thank you for actually being vulnerable and opening up and I feel like I learned a lot about my husband through your story. You guys are very similar.

Diana (57:54.045)
You know, us first generation kids, know, we connect. Honestly, I think that's why he and I get along so well too.

Tessie (57:58.775)
Yeah.

Yeah, no kidding. Wow, what a journey from navigating life as a first gen kid in New York City to building a career to embracing motherhood in ways that you never imagined. Diana has shown us what resilience, humor and love look like in action. And we hope that hearing her story reminds you that privilege is often layered with struggle, that culture shapes our parenting in beautiful ways.

and that every mother's path is uniquely hers. So thank you for joining us today. We're so glad you were here. Until next time, keep embracing the messy, beautiful, unpredictable journey of motherhood. And remember, we're all learning as we go. Thanks, Diana. Bye.

Diana (58:47.184)
Thank you, Tessie. Talk to you soon. Bye.