B E Z Podcast

E-1...Finding Light in Dark Times

• Zack Flynn • Season 1 • Episode 1

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How do you find solace after enduring unimaginable loss? Join us as we share an intimate narrative from the heart of the abandoned Chillicothe Hospital in Texas, where our conversation becomes a lifeline amidst personal hardships. We uncover how speaking our truths—especially in the wake of Zach's devastating loss—becomes more than just a cathartic release; it transforms into a powerful tool for healing. Our candid discussions aim to turn shared grief into a routine of support, offering a space that might not find a vast audience but serves as a crucial anchor for us.

Exploring the intricate dance of masculinity, family, and societal expectations, we challenge the norms that define strength and vulnerability. Through personal stories, such as a tense Thanksgiving tale, we juxtapose traditional discipline methods against modern perspectives, reflecting on how these forces shape parenting and the fierce love that binds families. We delve into the resilience expressed across genders, highlighting how boys and girls navigate these societal expectations differently yet with equal courage.

As we journey through childhood memories, the role of early relationships and family dynamics in shaping our identities comes into focus. Friendships forged through laughter, family nicknames, and the influence of upbringing become cornerstone topics, reflecting the importance of connection and authenticity. Finally, amidst tales of haunted hospitals and personal reflections on life, we ponder the impact of legacy and the power of capturing and cherishing moments for future generations. We invite you to listen, not for fame, but to partake in a shared human experience that seeks to find light even in the darkest times.

Bucky:

All right, coming to you live from the old, abandoned Chillicothe Hospital, Chillicothe, Texas. This is the B to the E to the Z and meant anything to me.

Speaker 2:

And with those baby blue eyes and that smile, that smile, this year she turned three. You better grab a hold of something, for something grabs a hold of you. Grab a hold of something for something grabs a hold of you, and don't ask a question if you can't take the truth, because I'm just a reflection of you.

Bucky:

He said I'm just a reflection of you and start recording. You got it All right. See, we're going now we're recording.

Earl:

If you read some simple instructions, I mean.

Earl:

Word for word.

Bucky:

Hey, I don't know what the hell we're doing here.

Earl:

Hey, so I guess a couple times.

Bucky:

We are here at the old, abandoned Chillicothe Hospital, abandoned In a new studio. It In a new studio.

Zack:

It's not a new studio, who abandoned it, it's what it is.

Bucky:

It's a new studio but I think we're going to work on a.

Earl:

It's the original studio.

Bucky:

Yeah, this is the original boardroom of the Chillicothe Hospital. Lots of decisions have been made here, shit, but uh, that's not why we're here it didn't end well.

Earl:

The place closed down, yeah it closed down, so now.

Zack:

Some people got rich, some people didn't. They know shit.

Bucky:

Some people got away. Hey, that could be a topic for another day.

Earl:

Yeah, it is, because that's some Shit.

Bucky:

Some people were forced to retire.

Earl:

Some people should. Hey, I ain't going to say yeah, I just seen one of them this weekend.

Bucky:

Hey, that's another topic for another day.

Zack:

Right.

Bucky:

But we're here to start a podcast and we don't know what we're doing.

Earl:

Nah, this is how you do it, though.

Bucky:

You just start talking, I mean hey, we got sound.

Earl:

Well as far as recording and shit like that.

Earl:

Yeah, we got different hookups like that we got equipment you done, invested some money in it. Why are you doing it, bucky? Why would you do that? A podcast, yeah. Why would you put some money in this and take this?

Bucky:

as something to do. Okay, let me tell you a story of what really happened.

Earl:

This is a true story.

Zack:

Zach knows about it because he started the whole thing told me, so it was after Christmas.

Bucky:

You know, I don't know if it's Christmas Day, I don't know what day it was Christmas Day, yeah, I don't know. Thinking about Zack and how probably he was having a hard time now someone texting man to see how he's doing. So I text him in bro, how you doing Merry Christmas. It might have been more to it and I don't think. I think that was it and the reply I got. I'm just gonna read it, because that way it will be word for word. Are you good with that? That's fine, and so that was a while back.

Zack:

I'm a long ways from it, I know. That's why I can't hear you. Am I too close?

Earl:

No, you're good, no, no, no.

Bucky:

Couldn't hear you, so I have to go. Oh man, I'm going to have to go back here.

Zack:

I said, trying to find reasons to keep breathing there you go.

Bucky:

So when he told me that I damn near had a wreck that day because I was going to Wichita, the highway was shut down because of a wreck so I had to go around one of them roundabout deals from the overpass. I was just driving and I got, got to the intersection and I didn't stop. I just ran right through it and the guy was like, yeah, and I was talking to him, I think I was called you right. Then after you texted me, didn't I call you? Yes, and so I damn near had a wreck. Then I got up, uh, about a half mile they were looking for a body out in the woods. I'm like, man, that's crazy. So I just said I called Zach and told him. I said we're starting a podcast, Yep, and so we can rewind.

Zack:

We need to rewind about 13 months, something like that. So the reason that I said that I was trying to find reasons to keep breathing is that both of my girls died in a car wreck on September 1st of 2022.

Bucky:

So yeah, so it hit me when he told me that you know I've had other friends, that we've had other friends and people we know that had a hard time and didn't make it not here with us anymore and so we've just been through a lot of shit yeah, I've been through a lot of shit and so I'm like man zach is going through some shit you know, hey, yeah, we all do.

Earl:

But well I can't say his is worse than mine or you know nobody's to to uh debate that everybody's bottoms different, but when you tell me that that's when, when I said we're starting a podcast, motherfucker's one of the toughest people I know. I knew that right away that day.

Bucky:

Yeah, but I said, I'm starting a podcast If it don't do anything, if it don't help, if we don't ever get one listener, and we may not.

Zack:

Oh, we will, but I'm not worried about that.

Bucky:

I, we can do this to help one another. You're right, if I can make it, to say all right, zach, every friday afternoon at three o'clock try to make a routine.

Earl:

Yeah, try to make it a routine something to. It's like we're set to do that now.

Bucky:

Yeah, yeah, that's what we're working on so now, maybe this podcast will give you a reason to breathe, right? I mean, maybe not, I don't know but you got.

Earl:

You've tried some different ones, haven't you different? A reason to breathe, right? I mean, maybe not, I don't know. I don't know, but you've tried some different ones, haven't you Different?

Bucky:

what Reasons to breathe? Yes, oh, that's so weird. Yes, you know what I mean. Maybe some of them are working and some of them aren't.

Earl:

Well, some things are temporary.

Bucky:

Exactly. There's short-term and there, yes, women.

Earl:

Yeah, there's different things that can.

Bucky:

But I mean, yeah, that's a long discussion.

Zack:

Well, yeah, I mean, I like them all.

Earl:

Well, yeah, to some degree you got to be careful with all that shit.

Bucky:

Yeah, you can't over and over.

Earl:

There's an old country boy saying it's okay to carry on, but don't get carried away. Hey, I like that.

Earl:

It's different.

Earl:

It's different with different people. It's hard, it is. That's why it's like an old school thing. It's not PC anymore. You know what I mean? It's the Me Too, and all this shit. What are we? White dudes? We got the least. Now we live during the wrong time of white dudes now we live during the wrong time of white, there we go.

Bucky:

See, there we go. It's tattooed, bearded and racist. I am, that will get. I'm all about whitey. Yeah, yeah, I probably put race in it.

Zack:

My god, every one of us, every one of us are are married to the other race, you know so, yeah, you're right, you're right, I ain't thought about that, dude.

Earl:

Wow, I thought about that interesting, so we're not prejudiced, you know well, well, no, well, prejudice is a different thing, so you prejudge certain things. There's stereotypes, there's racist, there's like hating other race. There's different degrees. It's like love there's different kinds of love.

Zack:

There's different kinds of hate. Well, there's a big difference between love and lust.

Earl:

There's misunderstanding. There's fantasy.

Bucky:

We all know we grew up in this small town in Texas.

Earl:

No Asians in the crowd.

Bucky:

No Asians have that, yeah, that's right In Texas, in Texas.

Zack:

We're trying not to use names or anything else.

Bucky:

But we grew up in a small town and I've seen some of that racist stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, we still do.

Earl:

I still do, Brother, I still do in all these little towns. I ain't got very far.

Bucky:

I'm not saying I broke any barriers here, but oh yeah, no, there was a time and a place you fought for the cause, your time was it.

Earl:

You were ahead of your time. That's a story for another day.

Zack:

We're going to talk about. What are you going?

Earl:

to talk about.

Zack:

There's two people here that can't be named. You know what I'm saying. So here's one of the things that talk about racism. Since we're on it, the things that happen in chillicothe, texas. Uh, there was a uh, a farmer and when I say big farmer, I mean he was a big dude, he was actually uh, I wouldn't say he was a farmer, but he helped farmers out because he run combines. Then there was a, a guy that had moved here from out of town and was dating his brother's daughter I don't know if y'all witnessed that or not Right outside the new gym.

Zack:

Oh yeah yeah, yeah, he picked him up by the throat, slammed him on the car. Said leave my niece alone, or you're going to die and nobody will miss you.

Bucky:

Yeah, so we know it's not okay.

Earl:

I feel like that's how we knew. Then you didn't have a little tingle. Then you had a little tingle, then Like what the fuck?

Earl:

Right, that's something different. Not everybody has.

Earl:

Different people have different lines and conscience.

Bucky:

That's part of that little voice in your head.

Zack:

Yeah, but that's how the new generation heard it. I'm sorry, go ahead, brother. Here's what it is. That type of attitude was bred into them.

Bucky:

Yes, yeah, it was learned, it's a learned You're soaked in, it's soaked in.

Earl:

You don't know anything Over time it gets different too, hey, but I didn't either. That's right, that's what I'm saying. Over time it's different for each generation.

Bucky:

It doesn't mean anything.

Earl:

I've done it. It's a conscious thing. It's like I told you to take the C word out of my mouth.

Speaker 2:

Things like that or what else, sorry I try not to say I'm sorry.

Bucky:

Yeah, gd is a good one, that's a hard one, but it's a good one to put on there.

Earl:

I've been trying to cut back on that word.

Zack:

Hey, that's it, except for I know when to If we all want to stop saying GD which I've done this before and I've caught myself because I'm mad at God right now but saying the GD word. But every time you say GD, if you slap yourself, you'll stop saying it. You're right.

Earl:

I had to do that with one of my twins. I told you about my definition, right, GD, it's a real thing. Something is God damn right.

Earl:

Some things are damned by God.

Earl:

Like these things, like this phone. It's going to perish from the earth. Things are. There's just things that are gone. They're damned. It's not going to carry on these buildings, things like that. They're damned by God. I don't know what about dogs and cats? I mean there's family.

Zack:

I don't know about shit like that.

Bucky:

okay, there's families okay, there's families, there's family, there's names, family names that are damned by god, but generation curses.

Earl:

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, you talk. Yeah, there's things such a thing that people didn't make that up that hate that's inside of them, it's strong, it's a feeling. It's more than that. We can talk about feelings, but that's part of what that is.

Bucky:

It's a strong kind of why we started this podcast right maybe the mystery of life well, maybe we don't talk about our feelings enough, and maybe we should. You're right about that, Because as a man you're, I don't know about you guys, but I don't. I guess I was taught as as, growing up as a man, you don't. You don't cry, you ain't got to cry.

Earl:

Get up, Get up, boy. Yeah, like get up.

Bucky:

Yeah, put some dirt on that, let's go yeah.

Earl:

And I still do that, but I cry more than I ever did you know fucking as an old man?

Bucky:

When you get an adult you're like it's different.

Earl:

It's hard to explain.

Zack:

I'll give you a reason.

Earl:

It's okay. Yeah, oh well, yeah, hell, yeah, like right, well, you couldn't anymore. I was raised a little more physically, that's what I'm saying. Like if you, if you was in a grocery store and you're.

Bucky:

I went to court for spanking my child. Once you better get over here.

Earl:

I'm gonna give you something to cry about, yeah maybe up there in the corner saying nine better, not, I don't know, people do yeah, I've seen both. I've seen extremes.

Zack:

It's kind of putting a halt to this. But here's a story. Let me tell you a story that happened one time. So I'm at my brother's for, uh, I believe it was thanksgiving, or yeah thanksgiving and uh, my brother's wife, mom's boyfriend at the time was there and he was uh, so he was a chaplain, and uh, my daughter well, lexi, I can say her name, so Lexi's acting pretty bad, you know.

Bucky:

How old is she? I mean Four or five. Okay, yeah, I'm just trying to get a picture. All right, all right, all right.

Zack:

No, she was younger than that, because Zoe was a baby. Okay, zoe was probably one, so she's probably three or four, but my daughter, but Lexixi let's just go ahead and throw this out there lexi never did baby talk, so as soon as she started speaking, she was full sentence. She's telling you yeah, so anyway. So, uh, she's acting bad and my mom has just told her. You know you need to stop that. And you know, and you know, finally, I had, I heard of that. I, I heard you need to stop that. Enough times I said now, listen to me, you need to stop that right now. And my brother's, wife's mom's boyfriend.

Earl:

I'm following you brother, this person of interest.

Zack:

Says boy, that is a child you're talking to, you don't need to be talking to her like that and yelled it at me. And I turned around and looked at him and I was holding my youngest and I stood up and I said I walked, you know, to the next room, but it's all open concept. So I walked into the next room and I said God, he really does not know who he's yelling at. And I said I think I'm just going to go outside. So I went outside. Well, my brother's wife decided that she was going to come out there and tell me. She said I don't know why you didn't say something to him. Really.

Earl:

She called you on that. Yeah, she did Well. Oh, june, did you? Yes?

Zack:

she did, she did. Well, I threw her, my baby.

Earl:

And I went back inside and I slid the table all the way up. I'm not there.

Zack:

You know, I slid the table all the way up against him. I said, listen here. I said you don't know how much I love my kids. I said you have no clue. It's no measure. They are my children on top of that, and just I mean that I don't love my kids.

Earl:

That's right, do you know me so?

Zack:

if you don't want your ass whooped, I think you need to mind your own business. And he went to say something else and my mom said she said you need to mind your own business. He said you need to. I said what. Yeah, what. What were you fixing? You know?

Earl:

Yeah.

Zack:

But you know that goes back to what we're saying. You know, like we're talking about being in the grocery store and start crying, and I'll give you a reason to cry.

Bucky:

But that's how we were raised. Yeah, oh, sure, for sure, yeah, yeah, but.

Earl:

I'm just saying you better be tough, rub dirt on it.

Bucky:

Yeah, like as a man you're supposed to be tough, Walk it off.

Zack:

Walk are a lot tougher than girls. We should say that.

Earl:

There's just differences. I'm not denying that In different ways.

Earl:

Hey, girls are tough, different Right as in babies.

Zack:

You know, a boy can run and run into the wall and hit his head and fall down and he's not going to cry about it.

Bucky:

But if we had a baby, I would be crying.

Earl:

Girls are tough at a different stage and shit, girls are three. I'm just saying men can't do physical pain. No, they're different, dude, they're just both different. It's like, uh, seeing joe rogan talk about like there's a difference in a man and a woman you just can't it's like even in athletics. They still separate them for a reason. They argue about transgender and shit like that see, this is topics we're gonna.

Bucky:

I know, I'm just saying, but that's why they argue about it because you know what men are bigger and stronger, and generally they overpower women. So talking about that, the man thing, and I think we talked about this the other day and I talked to my wife about it. She didn't really like it, but I told her a man was created different from women.

Zack:

Correct Women were made from our rib bones. Yes, you're right.

Bucky:

And a man was made.

Earl:

Hmm Well, and you see it in all, species, mankind rib bone, you're right, and a man was made.

Bucky:

Well, you see it in all species.

Earl:

They have different roles. The man and the woman have different roles. The libido is what it is.

Bucky:

The man is physically driven. Correct, physically driven.

Earl:

To mate with anything that will slow down long enough to mate with, to make more of him.

Earl:

That's a natural drive. That's a natural drive.

Bucky:

It's a natural drive, and so it's like every day you have to resist that. You know what?

Earl:

I mean Well, yeah.

Earl:

It's a natural force.

Bucky:

Yes, and so that's really hard, even if you're just perfectly happy with everything. You have everything you ever wanted. That's right, beautiful wife.

Earl:

Yes, you wake up every day and you got to see her, you have everything.

Bucky:

Just say you had everything you ever wanted. That's right. That's the next, and you still have an urge sometimes to be like man.

Earl:

Well, you know, king Solomon. Well, yeah, I mean, you know.

Zack:

Tried everything.

Bucky:

And it's that dude that's sitting on you. Sure he's hot boy, okay. So I do raise some animals. I have some goats, okay. So the other day I had all my females on this side. I'm saying I'm gonna take all my males off because I want I don't want them to breed right now so I'll take all the males and put them over here. It wasn't that far away and so I put them over there. There's like five males and they're running around. You can tell they're just like man.

Earl:

What the hell just happened oh yeah, he took all.

Bucky:

He took all our women away. So he's just like crazy, they're crazy, stirred them up, stirred them up. And I said I better watch these guys because they look like they're fixing to get into some shit.

Earl:

No, really, I know you can tell, you can tell you sense it.

Bucky:

Yeah. So I'm like, all right'm going to jump this fence, yeah. And then you know, right over the fence they're going to get back together, straight back to them female, I'm like and treat them rough.

Earl:

Oh yeah.

Bucky:

When they get there, just be like yeah, so I'm like the forces of nature are strong, oh yeah absolutely, so you know. And it's not just physical, there's other that's for men.

Earl:

Yeah well there's different parts.

Zack:

And here's the deal. You know, we talked about this the other day. This is true. You know, a guy will sleep with anybody that slows down long enough and says okay.

Bucky:

But a female to lay down with a man usually has to have some feelings. But you know, so I'm going to say 97% of all women. I have seen some women that are quite that's right 97% of women will lay down for feelings.

Earl:

The other 3% are evil you know, hey, one time I bought it. It's like psychology of how to pick up women. You ever seen those Like?

Earl:

a thing. You ever buy those.

Earl:

It's like the psychology of it, how to pick up women and shit like that, and I've seen people do it. Okay, well, basically the basics are there's two kinds of men and there's like 12 kinds of women when it comes to sex. As far as, like, all men are sexually liberated, whereas most women are not, and that's the two kind there are. There's the one that's sexually liberated or there's the one that takes a whole lot of work to get her there, and that's the basic difference.

Earl:

Yeah, and then there's like 12 kinds of what oh, I'm sorry, like the girl that's going to give it up to anybody. There's like the private dancer that's only going to finally do one and it's going to be that way.

Zack:

There's like 12 kinds of and there's like two kinds of dudes psychologically in that way, I'm hoping that a woman wrote that book, because if not, he's wrong, you know what.

Earl:

I'm saying no, well, it was one no worked for me quite a bit, but you know what I? Mean, you know, it explains a lot. It's not. No, nothing's perfect. It's all like shit that people studied into and tried.

Zack:

But the thing is we're kind of missing topic here, but we're trying to all be better. Is that what we're trying?

Bucky:

to. We're trying to get together grow talk about our problems, our struggles, heal, heal and grow our addictions, because we all have some sort of addiction.

Zack:

Oh, yeah, yeah. So can I throw you on the spot here? I mean, go for it.

Bucky:

Why not?

Zack:

Okay, so here's the deal. Do you think that you're trying to be better? Because you got up one morning, you looked in the mirror and you realized you were old.

Earl:

You know what I'm saying? That's midlife crisis.

Bucky:

You know what I'm saying?

Zack:

That has a lot to do with it, right.

Bucky:

Well, well.

Earl:

Or the days that have already passed. You know what? Yes, no.

Zack:

That's slowed me down a lot because you know I sure would hate. You know the reason. I say slowed me down. I don't even. I know, you know, because you know there's going to be a time where the yeah, I can't say it was a day.

Bucky:

I mean, I know I'm old, I'm a 50-year-old, I'm a 50-year-old, I'm a 50. Right, we're 50-year-olds.

Zack:

Well, no, 49 this year, 49. Yeah, but I'm saying we're getting there Next month 50 years old I'm glad I'm not there.

Bucky:

Nah, we're damn near there, but I mean Five-0. I know a lot of people.

Zack:

Hey To 50.

Bucky:

We know a lot of people that made it past 50. We know a lot of people that didn't deserve to make it back.

Zack:

There you go, and some people that should have made it.

Bucky:

But that's not our decision.

Earl:

That's right, that's conceptual thinking.

Bucky:

So yeah, I think maybe it's like you know, because you see a lot of older people are into church and into religion, but when you're young, you don't give a damn.

Zack:

It didn't mean no, forced to go, forced to go, yeah, you're.

Earl:

Yeah, I mean exactly, and you grew up oh, my god, you're going to church and I'm like they were considered.

Bucky:

But you know what, though, even though they forced me to go I'm so glad they did I still had a good time like oh, I met a lot of good people like oh yeah, I mean you were.

Earl:

Yeah, that's how you learn what you learned. Some of the bad things too.

Bucky:

You learn like, hey, some of these people are full of shit didn Well, yes, but I had some of my funnest memories on church trips.

Zack:

Yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah, they were all nice and clean too, but no, I mean remember we used to go to.

Bucky:

We went Colorado Springs, colorado.

Speaker 2:

Colorado City.

Bucky:

Six Flags A lot Whitewater. We went on a lot of trips.

Zack:

We went to several wet and wild whitewaters. Yeah, that's actually where we were always doing so, that's the.

Bucky:

That's actually where I met my first real girlfriend okay, you see, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna.

Zack:

Just I don't know which one was your first well, I mean like I want to say real.

Earl:

What do you mean by real?

Bucky:

yeah, when I second base. Well, no, okay, I was going into my freshman year, so it's eighth grade year, right from vernon, like freshman year, so it was eighth grade year Right From Vernon Like two home runs or what it was you know, okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, so anyway, no, I don't yeah. We're going on this trip. I'll just tell you a short story Okay, yeah, yeah yeah, go ahead.

Bucky:

How it all went down. So, going on a church trip and there was this one girl man that always was trying to talk to me and she was really. She was probably going to listen to this and know who it is.

Earl:

Oh yeah, yeah, that person's fine she ain't named.

Bucky:

She just really annoyed me for some reason, because she was just overly wanting to talk to me and always wanting to be you know, go out with me, Force your way in, yeah. I'm just like ain't nothing. There was nothing wrong with her.

Bucky:

She was a beautiful young lady just something about the way she came on to me. I didn't like right. And so we get off on the bus at I think it was at six flags. Yeah, and a friend of mine, she was a female as well. She's seeing what's going on. I'm like man. I wish this girl would just leave me alone she's like I got this competition she's like I got this and she went and told her.

Earl:

You told her that you told her I wish this girl was mine. Yeah, and she went over there and was like I don't know what she told her.

Bucky:

Maybe we'd have her call in one day. She'd tell me what she said. But she didn't the rest of the time.

Zack:

Yeah and just sharing how I'm gonna get about girls, and so we hung out like four hours. So the one that that one made the girls stop is the one you started dating.

Bucky:

Yeah, well, I mean, we weren't even like, we were just that's what kicked it off that's what kicked it off. We spent like the next four hours riding every ride, talking like we had the best. I had the best time of my life with the female well, not, not not the best time of your life? Well, at that time, at that time, at that time, okay, right, I think I understood that that was understood okay. So yeah, you can't take everything. I say yeah, yeah okay what?

Bucky:

because we're talking about so at that time, yeah, editing for that it was great, and so we started going out after that and uh, yeah, so that's, that's one of my I still.

Earl:

What do you mean by real first, real girlfriend like well, you want somebody you actually cared about, but more than just you felt that way that's what I'm saying, more than just a little kid saying like a second base, or a little kid feeling yeah, more than just like, yeah, like damn.

Zack:

We had a good thinking like what should I buy her?

Earl:

well for her birthday like you said you had like a good ass time that day. You were just like you, just keep wanting to chase that day.

Bucky:

Yeah, because you you had a good time, so you're like um yeah and so that was like we had several trips like that. That I just that's the one I remember, but we went on. So church was a big deal oh, it's huge, you know.

Zack:

And the thing is, you know the my mom used to sit when me and my brothers all stayed in the same room, that's before they added on to the house and everything else. So we were always pretty much broke. I mean, we were not. There weren't any rich bone in our body. You know what I'm saying, but we never thought about that as a kid. Ever never ever, ever, ever ever.

Bucky:

Yeah, same.

Zack:

But see, my mom would sit there by our bed. She would read the bible to, to us, I mean, but I guess I'm probably.

Bucky:

I probably listened more than most because she sat right beside me, you know well, but that's, that's a younger.

Zack:

You was the youngest, I was, yeah I was soaking it up, boy, and uh, and I did, you know, I soaked a bunch of it up and you know I'm uh you're probably a better man because of it I mean, you know you're the man you are.

Earl:

Because of it, you.

Bucky:

It might help you through some situations that you might not even realize.

Earl:

It's like everything else. You are what you are.

Zack:

You are because of all that shit.

Bucky:

Oh, a lot.

Zack:

All the time it still does.

Bucky:

Yeah, thank you.

Zack:

We all come from pretty much the same style of raising around but, we're all different we all had different things

Speaker 2:

going on A little bit yeah.

Zack:

I had no nicknames in my family, but everybody.

Earl:

That's all my family is. I've never. That's what we're talking about the other day.

Zack:

Well, Chris was a kid. Everybody had a nickname.

Bucky:

So what was your little brother's Beasley, beasley I was Bucky.

Zack:

I don't know about your oldest, but he, we called him Bub. Yeah.

Bucky:

Yeah. Yeah, we had a lot of nicknames in my family. I don't know why it's different.

Earl:

And then certain people do, certain people, certain personalities call for it.

Zack:

That's Bucky. What was that? That was probably your freshman year.

Earl:

Well, I'm just saying he was I know.

Bucky:

If you wasn't family, you didn't.

Earl:

The only people that ever call me Eric is people at work. So I mean, you were a white woman.

Zack:

That was past junior high, that was.

Bucky:

Yeah, yeah, I was high school, high school.

Zack:

But, yeah, okay, so I'm going to give you a physical picture of Mr. Are we using our real names, since my name has?

Earl:

If you want, we can still put that in or out. You still can decide that later, mr.

Zack:

Chris Love here the physical picture of him when he was in fifth grade was Full grown man?

Earl:

No he wasn't gray though.

Zack:

He had to go tee. No shit, I mean he was shaving. He did peak about.

Earl:

I mean Well, eighth grade. Maybe you know my high school.

Zack:

You're right, my junior high team.

Earl:

We weighed more than the high school team.

Zack:

People would play against us and line up against us on the other side, and they would look at Chris and Phillip Sorry, I used your name but they'd look at oh, I can't use his name KP. They'd see all of them. They thought, man, where are your kids at?

Earl:

You've got to have kids in the stand because you're full grown. Somebody told me the other day your picture up there in the hall. I still look like hey that's how it was a teacher, because he had like five o'clock shadow in the senior picture oh yeah, he's up toward the top too, and then, uh yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a teacher yours yeah, yeah, no, I look like because he has like a five.

Earl:

I was like dude. He's getting old by then. I think he's losing hair. You should have sent him in about sixth grade.

Bucky:

He looked good I think eighth grade, like, yeah, you're right, I peaked after that yeah, but by your senior.

Earl:

Yeah, that's what I said. I was thinking that too, man, you're all hairlines are seeing everything.

Zack:

That's like, yeah, you should have seen him yeah, but the man was made of rubber, though he bound he yeah till I didn't say rubbers, because he's got 28 kids, no shit but I said man was made of red.

Earl:

We don't know.

Zack:

I mean, I'm just saying I mean, that's a hey some seeds are strong.

Bucky:

I did have some people try to put some kids on me and. I did have to take a DNA test once. Yeah, shit happens, and I was not the father, right.

Zack:

Right, right. I mean, how do you remember? But the kid was like I had it both ways. I had it both ways.

Earl:

No, listen, talk about some disappointing times I've had it where it's not the dad. I've had it where it is the dad.

Bucky:

Listen this is the crazy part Ten years old.

Earl:

At the time they did it. Why would you tell me now yeah, that's a chick's turn. If you thought I was a daddy.

Zack:

I'll tell you why so I remember this day very well and we were all kids still, basically and it was right over there at what used to be the dryer laundry place here in Chillicothe. Oh yeah. And remember you know who I'm talking about. You know your brothers. Basically you know they beforehand, before they were your brothers.

Bucky:

Yeah.

Earl:

At that time I forgot about it. It was too late.

Zack:

After it was done it was done, but I thought that I'm sorry dude yeah, I never, and that kind of broke him apart a little bit.

Bucky:

Yeah, it had to be.

Zack:

You know what? Well, absolutely which one.

Bucky:

Well, I'm just saying that's one Right both.

Earl:

Oh, it devastated, tony. Yes.

Zack:

Yeah, he was crushed. I was there when he came back, when he got the results. Yeah, I mean.

Bucky:

And then it just like Because you know, he told me.

Zack:

Richie was like didn't know what the fuck he always told me.

Bucky:

He said I don't think.

Earl:

It's true.

Zack:

You want one of these. They're gone. You know that's a sad thing, but I'm just saying that's kind of why it is a sad thing.

Bucky:

We're just talking on some topics, on why we're doing what we're doing now.

Zack:

Exactly.

Earl:

That leads all the way to this. You're right.

Bucky:

Yeah, so we're talking about these little nitpick stories.

Zack:

We've seen lots of people go that shouldn't have gone.

Bucky:

They were friends close friends we're just trying to help each other, I've got quite the relationship with death. We're just trying to help each other. Help each other. If we can help just us three, we're doing something. But if we can reach one more person outside of our circle, that's it.

Earl:

It's all gravy.

Bucky:

What if them people? Share something and touch somebody else.

Zack:

One of these days days we'll probably get down to where we actually have a topic that we talk about.

Earl:

But you know, these first few years, yeah, we probably will. Soon, Probably will. I think we'll get some of this and we'll be like man, we got to talk about something else.

Bucky:

Yeah, we got to stay. Yeah, we'll stay on topic.

Earl:

Can't all be serious and bull. Oh, who wants to listen to that shit? It's like depressing or something you know.

Bucky:

So we are going to have some comedic interviews as well, oh absolutely.

Earl:

I'll say this.

Earl:

This is like man, it's like AA in a way, like you can keep going to meetings where people can and this one person comes in and pours out all their bad shit.

Bucky:

I was so bad and I did this and this and this. That's all you're listening to. Yeah, but sometimes you can carry that with you out of there.

Earl:

Well, that's no good, though, to hear that all the time you go in there and one person just talks about all the bad shit, all the bad stuff and so, yeah, sometimes we need that.

Bucky:

So you've got to have some other stories. Well, we need that laughter to. Sometimes. Laughter just heals the soul Sure does.

Earl:

Even if it's temporary, it's a thing, it it's just medicine. It is, it's just medicine.

Bucky:

And it's free. It's free and it's temporary, of course, but if we can make somebody laugh too, we're helping somebody the swirl's temporary If? Zach smiles over there. If I can make Zach smile, he's forgetting about maybe something for a minute.

Earl:

Well that's what? No, he just knows better than us that we're all temporary.

Zack:

Well, yes.

Earl:

Yeah, yeah. He's feeling it more every day because he's lost such a part of his life.

Bucky:

Dude that something that is just unthinkable I don't that's all I can say dude, yeah, no, right now, that's all you can say. So that's that's why we're doing this podcast. We don't really know what we're doing and you nobody may not ever listen, but you know what I think?

Earl:

I feel pretty good about what we've already talked about, and I was going to say we might make three recordings and we're the only ones that hear it, okay.

Bucky:

It's like that old tape we made in 99.

Earl:

Where's that shit at Remember when it was New Year's 99? We've got a capsule buried.

Bucky:

We've got a deal buried somewhere, hey, right there in front of the new gym, where what let's go dig that shit up tomorrow.

Zack:

We buried a time capsule. We buried a time capsule.

Bucky:

I don't know that it was ever. I have to piece of that or we do it now. He made me laugh.

Zack:

I don't know if it was ever dug up yet or not. We did.

Earl:

I think somebody dug it up, didn't they?

Bucky:

Didn't Miss Justice class?

Earl:

we do that yes but somebody dug it up like in 20 years or something. Yeah it. I don't think ours.

Zack:

I don't know. I think somebody did Coach.

Earl:

Martinez. They've all been dug up. I remember several people doing that.

Zack:

Coach Martinez, we did it, coach Martinez.

Earl:

I know exactly where it is.

Zack:

It's right there in front of the new gym.

Bucky:

No.

Zack:

It's right there in front of the new gym.

Bucky:

Yeah, Okay, so, yeah, yeah, so yeah. Well, that's why we're kind of doing this podcast to help ourselves. Maybe if we just reach one other person, we're good or not. We may not reach no one. Oh, I mean, I need to, but I feel like, like I say, we do have some people already. Well, we have some people lined up for some interviews we're going to talk about. We'll talk about Chillicothe, We'll talk about life. We'll talk about stories in our life, maybe tragedies, maybe achievements.

Zack:

I mean there will be a time that, uh, because for for everybody to understand the real reason that we're doing all this, I mean the, the stories will have to be told.

Bucky:

I mean to a point yes, but it's not just going to be our stories. We're going to have other people, because I have a friend and we've already talked about some of the people we're going to interview and what that's going to happen to. But I have a friend that he is a living hero. He served in the military. I mean he saved countless people's lives during war. I mean he's decorated, he's got the medals to back it up. He's a badass, like he was in special forces, and he's already agreed to come on and talk about some of the stories he had in the military. And let me tell you guys, you want to hear it. It's going to be good.

Earl:

It's good yeah.

Bucky:

It's going to be good, and so we have guys like that. We're going to have just local people from this area that we're going to interview about. I don't know, it may not even be about anything. We may just say, hey, tell us the funniest story you ever had.

Zack:

Then we have our people, like my dad, that's, you know. Yeah, we're going to have we dad, that's you know. Yeah, we're gonna have.

Bucky:

We're gonna ask everything.

Earl:

We're gonna have family he's gonna be on multiple times. Yeah, we may have episodes. We're gonna split them up.

Bucky:

A set of episodes well, we're gonna sit down here the three-part jerry flynn episode. Yeah, so we're gonna have some guests.

Earl:

We're gonna have some call-in guests. We're gonna have some in-studio guests we meet up here sometimes and we might be here an hour we might be here five hours.

Bucky:

Yes, you're right, you're right, I think, and that's you know we're not in any?

Earl:

oh, that's how they do that, and then podcast, that way three to five hours.

Bucky:

We're not putting any time limits on it. We're not doing anything right. It's going to go with the flow we can put together how we ourselves. We're not trying to script this shit, guys like this is just real life and we all have real life. That goes on outside of this, believe it or not, and we'll get into that later or not. Like I can tell you what I got going on, it's a lot.

Earl:

Yeah, I know, we all have struggles, but anyway, it doesn't matter, but yeah, Chill Chucky. I tell you what. It's cold as a bucket. It is cold in here. It I tell you what it's cold as a bucket.

Earl:

It is cold in here. It is cold.

Earl:

We're going to have to get our conditions, ain't it no warmer down here?

Bucky:

We're going to get our conditions better. What?

Zack:

the fuck is wrong with the heater. I mean I hope, because I wake up daily looking for reasons to breathe. So I mean that's just the truth, it's just I understand that dude.

Bucky:

No, you ain't Dude, little thing dude, I hope we can give you more than that. Yeah, you know it, you know that right, or hey, I love you, brother, or maybe we just how it is, or maybe you can give somebody else a reason yeah, and I don't know what you can get out of that.

Earl:

Right now you don't even see what you would get out of that. I understand that it's funny. Huh yeah, I did it.

Zack:

I don't I don't know either, dude, I'm talking shit, probably this, but this month's pretty rough. You knowi's birthday's on the 24th. Yeah, it's next week. Yeah, we do the lantern thing, you know.

Earl:

Yeah, you got to have a lot of that too. Dude, I believe, I believe, dude. You got to do whatever You're still questioning yourself dude, what did you do wrong, right, what's wrong? You're thinking. Still, though, you're mad at God.

Zack:

I'm mad at everybody.

Earl:

Yeah, got that. I understand, dude. You're probably going to be that for a long ass time, dude, I mean you know, I woke up like five minutes late, you know.

Zack:

Nah well see, there's several things. I always get up and I still do it. I still get up every morning to and I just I didn't, and they got up on their own.

Bucky:

Oh shit, yeah, yeah but.

Zack:

You know, if I'd have got up on time, they'd have left us.

Earl:

No, that's not. You still do. You don't know that.

Bucky:

You're saying that but you don't really know that. I'm just saying there's lots of yeah, in your mind. Your mind does that. Well, like I say, there's always that little guy on your shoulder trying to walk you off the edge of that cliff.

Zack:

Yeah, you know they say, if you know. You may not know it right now, but you may be, you know your plan. God's plan for you may be so big that you don't even know about it right now. But, the devil already sees the value in you, so he's already going to try to destroy you.

Earl:

He's trying to get you today. He's trying to get you right now.

Bucky:

Yeah, I sometimes think he's trying to get you today. And then I buy an old, abandoned hospital.

Zack:

I really like this place, though I know it's okay.

Bucky:

I don't know what's going on?

Earl:

What did somebody tell you?

Zack:

It'll be great. What are you talking about?

Earl:

I mean because you're like having to defend it. I think it's like what's he doing?

Zack:

It'll be great. That's what's he buying the whole hospital. Well, I mean it'll be great come March, you know, april Well what I'm talking about is Not so cold.

Bucky:

Yeah, we're going to, and on this podcast you might get some updates of what's going on in here because everybody might want to know it's going to start.

Zack:

Yeah, there's going to be the talk around town, is this? You know so?

Bucky:

I don't know what's going on yet. It's going to be in the dark until it's Well, I'm I ignore that shit. I don't listen.

Earl:

I hear it, but I try to like I don't read nothing to it.

Earl:

Like shit in town, like people, like stuff.

Zack:

You hear shit. There's lots of things that you want to tell me. You just ain't told me yet.

Earl:

I act like I'm not paying attention, but I am, yeah real close.

Bucky:

No, people don't tell me. I mean, I ask and they'll tell me stuff.

Earl:

Oh yeah, it's only limited.

Bucky:

It's all good. You think I have no more. I think you know more than more. I think you know some currents of the city.

Earl:

But the more we talk about this, the less you'll get to know Because I mean, hell, there's just different people Coming to your place regularly.

Earl:

There's some old people, there's police. I don't get to talk to them that much.

Earl:

There's business people from here in town. There's big farmers, there's other people.

Zack:

That are probably. But you got people that come in there and they're supposed to know what they're talking about and they completely don't yeah, it's like take everything with a grain of salt yeah I have.

Earl:

People have their own mode, I have major issues with. Some people have motives for their they've got something to sell or they got some problem yeah, they're trying to unload something on you, they're trying to get something from you or they're gonna unload something on you. That's just, that's people so yeah so the hospital?

Bucky:

I'm sure people say I'm crazy.

Zack:

No, old building what's he gonna do with it? It was a great deal what why?

Earl:

because you got all these plans, you know what to do, what it was a great deal.

Zack:

It was a great deal yeah, but who says as in that they don't make any more. They don't make any more of this that this thing sits on it, but there's potential.

Earl:

Like I said, I think we're seeing you got a nice apartment over there, you know he already done that. That was potentially saw that he worked out.

Zack:

Right, that's what I'm saying. But yeah, it worked out. But you know that then people, people start thinking why does he?

Earl:

people ain't seen that shit yet. See that people don't know, yeah, so somebody lives in the crowd, I do have big plans hello so yeah, so we don't know what's gonna come with this place.

Bucky:

Uh, what's gonna come of it? It may just be a studio I think it's got podcasting studio?

Earl:

I bet not, it is already. What do you mean really? I mean, I don't know if it is, it's okay. Yeah, I know but it's already like two or three things at least. Okay, you've got an apartment over there. That could be something else, and I've been told these other facilities.

Bucky:

But I have been told that the place You've got a zombie apocalypse, Munker. Well, I've heard the place possibly could be haunted, but tourism.

Zack:

I'm not talking about that. That's a podcast, no doubt. Yes, yeah, yeah we'll go live.

Bucky:

We're going to talk about that. How many people?

Earl:

have you offered anybody to stay up here and see who wants to do it? Nobody, right.

Bucky:

Nobody will Very few.

Earl:

I would.

Bucky:

I would too, but I mean, most people are going to be like hell, no, no. There's a lot of people say I'm not coming Ever, Ever past dark. There's people that won't come here in the daytime and we're going to interview him because he has said he has seen ghosts up here before while it was open.

Earl:

I wouldn't doubt that, no really, I don't doubt it at all. No, dude, I ain't doubting it.

Bucky:

No, billy, billy Ray. Oh, okay, okay, hey.

Earl:

I'm not doubting he did see it.

Earl:

No, I've seen other buildings. Why would there not be in this hospital? I mean, you know, Sure You're lying.

Bucky:

You didn't see no damn ghost Billy. I might tell him that, but I'm not you ever seen a ghost? If I did, I didn't really pay attention.

Earl:

I mean, I didn't like Different shit More than that.

Zack:

So you believe in ghosts?

Earl:

Yeah, I do.

Zack:

Do you. No.

Earl:

No, I've had.

Earl:

Dude, I've had.

Earl:

I believe in evil. Yes, I do too. It it's not Dude. I've had the feeling of evil. I believe in evil. Yes, I do too. Dude, it's like the feeling of. Have you ever had the feeling of a presence? No, absolutely not.

Zack:

Do you ever know somebody comes in the room?

Earl:

behind you and you know who it is.

Zack:

You know there's this, look, look, it's this. You know there's what they call the spirit of fear.

Earl:

No, remember you talking about the phone call, talking about you got out any sign, and shit like that. Well, yeah, well, yeah, I mean, that was that's. That's a straight up.

Bucky:

Yeah, dude, I've straight up, had, when I wasn't asking for a sign, had some weird shit like that you're a dead, people call you, but uh, what phone no oh, wow well, that's that's a whole nother story there really, yeah, it probably is hey, just write two of them one of them's, one that was like made me dude, there's I.

Earl:

I didn't. I couldn't believe her if I asked for something. I said this is not who this is, and save that for another day, bro, okay yeah, I mean, that's a whole nother topic episode and, like I say, that's the kind of shit happened.

Bucky:

Dude, it's complicated, it's a big story, yeah so that's gonna be an episode one day that we're gonna talk about that, and maybe one day, zach, you might want to talk about something oh, I mean.

Zack:

I mean, there's lots of well, I know there's lots.

Bucky:

But I'm saying you might just say, hey, today I'm digging deep, yeah, I'm letting this shit go or not letting it go, I'm letting it out there. Yeah, right, right because I got a whole, because you're right, it's whole other episode, yeah because there's probably some things that you might say that no one does and nothing I've ever heard or know of Absolutely.

Earl:

Sure.

Bucky:

And they might see you differently.

Zack:

Good or bad. Yeah could be. I'll be judged one way or the other.

Bucky:

Well hey, we're judged anyway. You don't think I'm judged?

Zack:

every day.

Earl:

Every day.

Bucky:

Yeah, yeah, I don't try to judge, either I do.

Earl:

You have to be like. You know what I don't like to judge people, but I'm a pretty good judge. I can judge people out pretty fast.

Zack:

You know, when you hear somebody say so why are you hanging out with the likes of Zach Flynn? I was like wow.

Earl:

You can tell who asked that?

Bucky:

Somebody told you that no.

Earl:

No, yeah Well, you know what Is it a surprise?

Zack:

who speaks those words to you no, no, no, no, because he's so mistaken about me. It's ridiculous.

Earl:

As are most people that have ever said shit like that. To me, that's what I'm saying.

Bucky:

People are going to judge me differently now, maybe or not, I don't know.

Earl:

I don't know. People ain't going to know whatever. People know Some people. Dude, I try to stay unplugged myself, I wouldn't know whoever else in town had a podcast. Yeah, but would you listen?

Earl:

So I mean no, I don't know.

Earl:

Maybe once or so. They better say something interesting, Because I'd be like Then.

Bucky:

I'd probably be like Judging them. They suck.

Zack:

That's all I want to do. Or it could just be Like how stupid are they See? See, there it is, slap yourself, see.

Bucky:

So here's the deal.

Zack:

You do.

Earl:

Here's the deal you just no, you didn't, I got to.

Zack:

You. You might find out Things about them that just Make you where you can't Stop listening. Hey, what?

Earl:

You about them that just make you where you can't stop listening. Hey, what you think that might happen here. No, I mean I got to. Nobody's going to listen, I don't know.

Bucky:

I'd see, but I doubt that sucks Better wives.

Zack:

do you know what? Either I got a positive attitude.

Earl:

I can think of three women that will.

Zack:

I've got a really positive attitude about the whole thing. For some reason, yeah.

Earl:

I do too, dude.

Zack:

Yeah, I'm going to tell you right now yeah, yeah, because I've listened to some podcasts and that shit sucks. I'm not going to lie to you.

Bucky:

There's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was listening to one this morning.

Earl:

I'm like the ones that are how.

Bucky:

The ones that are catch on are like Okay, it's like. Howard Stern's all the time. I mean I guess, but I mean Zach Flynn's famous Infamous.

Zack:

Or that.

Bucky:

Those are two things yeah, but I mean because you do music, so Right your name's on shit.

Earl:

People do know you Well, your name's on shit. There's been like, oh, he's going to appear here.

Bucky:

They know who you are, but do they know you?

Zack:

No no.

Earl:

There's a lot of people who know your name.

Zack:

You know, I got a which is not much.

Bucky:

Well, that's the same with me, true.

Zack:

I got like almost 3,000 hits in two days on a song I put on YouTube, you know.

Bucky:

Yeah, and then they probably banned you because it was copyright.

Zack:

No, it was the one I wrote. It's the two I wrote about the girls.

Bucky:

Yeah, no, I know I'm just kidding Hell and hey, one day soon, we're going to have you on here, live playing them for us.

Earl:

Yeah, I want to hear it, but I mean just because I want to hear it. Dude, you want to be famous or what.

Bucky:

No, we're not doing it to be famous.

Zack:

Do I want to be famous? No you don't, here's what I want. You don't, look, here's my whole thing. And I write lots of music. You know, I, you know, uh, I, I'm not going to stop until I write a song that makes it big. No that, no that do you know? People will remember the girls forever because you know I I'm at the point right now. You know that where you know it's it's I'm forgetting a bunch, and you know I'm their dad, you know yeah but the thing is I still understand so you so the hurt from people, not even the look you know when people move on with their lives and you can't.

Zack:

It pisses you off, You're stuck, you feel stuck dude.

Earl:

I feel that yeah With life, the things that are here.

Bucky:

So that's another reason why we talked about doing this podcast is because we wanted to create some memories that we record and that could last and we go back and listen to them later, yeah, so. So maybe maybe one day you tell a story about your girls and then the next year you forgot about it until you listen to it again.

Bucky:

You know what I mean, so that could help right yeah in the same same way we talked about with our parents and friends that we know You're right If we get Dave on here and he tells us a story about something and then one day we all know he's going to be gone, we're all going to be gone. What's going to?

Earl:

be left of us. I know, I was just thinking that when you said that I was thinking like our parents.

Zack:

What's going to be left of us? There'll be nothing left of me, you know. Let's see what I'm getting at.

Earl:

That's how it?

Zack:

is no, I mean. Well, there's different philosophies for that. You'll have generations behind you. You know I'm done. Well, yeah, but I old. Our kids are supposed to take care of us type stuff You're right about that, yeah. So you know I lost not just my children, I lost my future, I lost everything. So that's the hardest pill to swallow is that when I get old, everybody else, that is, you know, is going to be gone.

Earl:

So you know it's just like we talk about Fucking feel lonely.

Zack:

It's just like our friends, Like our friend. Our good friend died when we were kids.

Earl:

I mean not kids, but, you know, young adults.

Earl:

And that's who that left. And then see you know, she's moving. Who.

Earl:

To where.

Earl:

Tennessee With who?

Earl:

What. Some of his family that's in Tennessee, well, that's good, don't ever worry.

Bucky:

Okay, hey, before she moves, I want her on here. You're right. You're right, I want to interview her. I know I hadn't talked to her about that yet.

Earl:

Misty told me that no, don't you think we should? Yeah, but I hadn't talked to her since a little while. Oh hell, yeah, we should.

Zack:

I've seen her at DQ's. Last time I talked to her no, listen, how have you made it? You know she probably has some thoughts on us that we don't have no clue about hey, what you thought that were kids or what did you think that happened and shit she's getting on here.

Bucky:

And another reason because she worked hey she worked here at the hospital. They ain't no shit too for a long time.

Earl:

You're right, that's what we're. You're missing Benny already, like knowing Bitches and breakers and shit like that. You know what I bet you knew all that shit. Let me tell you something. Pardon my French, no, listen, I got to go.

Bucky:

That's what I thought of. I was like when I was just thinking about buying this place, I told myself I'm going to go talk to Benny when I buy it so I can find out all these little things that I didn't know I was mad at myself. And so maybe that's when I started thinking like dude, like if you wait it's too late. You know, earl?

Zack:

They wait.

Earl:

She's connected.

Zack:

Earl hell, he still goes. He's the better of me, better than me, as in. He still goes talk-stirring.

Bucky:

I know I dropped the ball on that. I know they do. They're not the only people I've done that with, no I know that's like.

Earl:

These people can't talk to you, dude. Oh, yes, you know that.

Bucky:

I mean, I feel like I wasn't there for you.

Earl:

I talked to people though dude.

Zack:

Well, we were all pallbearers, weren't we? Yep?

Earl:

You're right. I seen somebody today, dude, that was involved in that. I seen Carl White and all the ways I'm connected to him. He was his boss right then. He helped some financially with that.

Bucky:

He started a scholarship right.

Earl:

Yeah, and he also did help bury him and all that shit. Remember, I've seen him today and I have some other connections with him.

Bucky:

But that's how I felt. Even though we were really good friends, then it means that all of us were closer. I say We've always been really good friends, but closer friends, right, right, sure. And then, when all that happened to you, I feel like I wasn't.

Earl:

I could have done more. Sure, there's always like could have, but, like I said, Would have, should have, could have.

Bucky:

But no listen, like I said, if you wait, it's too late, that's going to be my saying from now on. If you wait it's too late, bro. If you wait around, somebody's going to die. Or you're going to be gone or you're going to get sick.

Earl:

Shit changes or you're going to regret it.

Bucky:

Careful with that. Yeah, that's a whole other episode. It's like live it up. That's what I mean. That's what I said. You got to be careful. That's how.

Zack:

I mean, can't just live it up? That's all I got is regret.

Earl:

Yeah, yeah, now maybe time back out.

Bucky:

I gotta go alright, this is the end of whatever we're doing today. I think it's good. Yeah, we're good. Remember how to turn it off.

Earl:

Get your toes wet yeah, yeah, two buttons, one, I'm about to piss again. I already had an hour.

Bucky:

We still recording tonight we're gonna say goodbye for the BEZ podcast and we will be talking to you soon, but until then I'm Bucky Zerl Zach.

Speaker 2:

We are the Be Easy podcast and we will see you later. The more I stare, the more I realize that the man standing there in front of me, well, he was just a reflection of me. I said just a reflection of me. You see, I lost my wife. I couldn't stop getting high and the light caught up with me and when she left, she took the only thing that meant anything to me, and with those baby blue eyes and that smile that's mine. This year she turned three. You better grab a hold of something close, something to hold you, and don't ask a reflection of you, of you. Oh, I love you. You see, I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in a long time today, for the first time in a long time today, and I had to take a step back cause, I swear, I didn't recognize my own fate.

People on this episode

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Bucky

Host
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Earl

Host
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Zack Flynn

Host