Family Ties: Blood, Bonds & Beyond

In this episode of the Sis Synergy podcast, the hosts explore the themes of family, sisterhood, and the bonds that shape their lives. They celebrate the strong Black women in their family, share personal stories about their mothers, and discuss the importance of sisterhood in their lives. The conversation also touches on navigating grief, the significance of spiritual growth during the Lenten season, and the lessons learned from their family dynamics. Through laughter and heartfelt moments, they reflect on the connections that define them and the impact of their shared experiences.

Transcript

Parris (00:01)
Keep singing.

Syedah (00:02)
No, thank you.

Shaunita (00:03)
Mm-mm, mm-mm.

Parris (00:04)
Don't shy now.

Syedah (00:06)
Science

is the act. It's always for ya. Don't know what I'd ever do without you from the beginning to the end. You've always been here right beside me. So I'll call you my best friend. Through the good times and the bad ones, whether I lose or if I win. I know one thing that never changes and that you are my best friend.

Parris (00:07)
There we go, girl.

Shaunita (00:12)
Mm-hmm.

Parris (00:32)
Not the St. Louis chicken head that you threw in that, that one of Brandy's.

Syedah (00:39)
If they could put... Because if they could put it over the Biggie beat, why can't I do that?

Shaunita (00:39)
You merge it, you merge it, Chingy and Brandy.

Parris (00:43)
Sure.

Shaunita (00:49)
Gang gang.

Parris (00:49)
Yes,

and here we go. Welcome back to this synergy podcast. Well, we just do random things like sing alongs and dance off and merge things together. My name is Parris Thank you for joining us again. Go ahead and introduce yourself, Shaunita

Syedah (00:51)
Hey.

Wait!

Shaunita (01:10)
Hi guys, I'm Shanita. I'ma just start saying Nita on this podcast, okay? I'm Nita. Welcome back, y'all.

Parris (01:17)
Go ahead, Sy

Syedah (01:19)
Hello there, we are going to edit out all the beginning of that. So hi, my name is Syedah She looking at me like she not gonna edit it.

Parris (01:28)
No, ma'am.

Thank you so much for that lovely introduction.

Syedah (01:33)
I know you lying

Parris (01:34)
Listen, welcome back to Sis Synergy. Well, we are here with episode two, while they are choking. I just want to let you guys know what we got coming up this episode. We're going to be talking about family and bonds that shape our lives. All right. We're going to just really talk about the meaning of family.

Even family that goes beyond our bloodlines, celebrating sisterhood that supports us, even some personal things that we have, some personal stories, insights and things like that. So we're going to kind of kick it off. Sy's going tell you a little bit about our bloodline and you know kind of like what we've got going on in our family. ahead.

Syedah (02:23)
So essentially, because especially it's March now and it's Women's History Month and we're just coming out of the Black History Month, know, we wanted to talk about the incredible strong Black women that are in our family. We have a very matriarchal family structure. And so, you know, we're going to start with my, girl, our main girl, our boo thang.

Granny Boo. That's

That's our G for real. Like if you mess with her, you're, and she is about to turn 90 this year, 90 years old. Yes. And you know, quick aside, just shout out to our bloodline because her older sister is already 90. Help me out. 91. Auntie Liza made 91.

Shaunita (03:00)
Yes ma'am.

Parris (03:00)
Yes.

Shaunita (03:11)
91.

Parris (03:13)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shaunita (03:14)
Should be 92 in September.

Yep, should be 92 in September.

Parris (03:16)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Syedah (03:17)
91. And so clearly

we're all going to become what's the big word pastor to be using? Nonagenarians. That's in the that's in the cards for us. It's in our blood. Okay. So we're gonna become nonagenarians. And granny has a lot of siblings, but that's our boo. And then she had babies.

Shaunita (03:25)
non-agenarians.

Parris (03:25)
Please stop.

my

Mm.

Syedah (03:41)
But in particular, three of those babies are Viola, Vernon, and Mary. And those are our mothers. And they are incredible. We could talk about our moms all day, so we're not gonna do that here because honestly, we probably would cry. Yeah, if anybody follows JaylaRenee and she'd be crying like that, that's as we start talking about our family.

They had us and their our world and because they all, you know, came to check in on their mom and have sister time all the time, every Friday and Sunday, it kind of started that as a tradition. And so that's why we all grew up extremely, extremely close. It wasn't just Fridays and Sundays. Any given day of the week, really, granny's house was packed with us there.

And then, yeah, each of them had one girl a piece. Auntie Mary had other boys too. We love them, each of us are the three girls and we all, well, guess any three, we like this.

Shaunita (04:43)
Thank

Syedah (04:44)
That's my explanation. Thank you very much.

Shaunita (04:48)
I love

it.

Parris (04:49)
Nita did you have anything to add to the family tree?

Shaunita (04:52)
no, I think I think sad did it all granny is definitely Our girl, we are we are definitely granny girls all three of us and we don't play about her. So, She is definitely like the glue for us and yeah, i'm eternally grateful for her.

Kind of what Syedah said in terms of the sisters, even before Syedah got here, I was by myself pretty much until Parris got here. And then we were always together because we were always at Granny's house. And so I really honestly didn't know that she wasn't my sister because at that young age, I didn't understand that it was like, has to come from the same mother, whatever. Like we just always saw each other all the time. And so.

she was my sister before I really knew that she wasn't my sister. And so we kind of grew up like that. When Syedah came, she became my daughter first to most people and then my sister. So that's kind of how that dynamic went. And for a long time, like I said, sister so much that I forgot they were my cousins. I never referred to either of them.

As my cousin, as a matter of fact, if someone says that that's your cousin, it upsets me. I don't like that because they've been my sisters as far as I know all my life. So I've never said anything other than that. And I'm offended when people say that. So don't do that around me. Because they will always be my sisters. I know what the real relationship is at this point, but to me, that's how close they are to me. And that's how our family structure is. So sisters is what they are to me and will always be.

Syedah (06:26)
and I will say, oh sorry, go Parris.

Parris (06:27)
No,

go ahead. I'm going tell you sing your song, but go ahead.

Syedah (06:32)
you're so funny. I will say that. Shaunita and I both also have other siblings as well, and we love our siblings. So Parris is the only true, like only child. And so that is a dynamic to note as well. But yeah, I also was going to add that it's been really cool because you, you talked about.

Shaunita (06:32)
you

Syedah (06:57)
our dynamic as sisters and knowing each other as sisters. And it was funny when you said it went from my daughter to my sister. That's hilarious. But it really did kind of go from me looking up to y'all, having fun with y'all. Y'all always like I was the baby and I enjoy being the baby, but not really knowing what was going on or not getting the jokes. And there's this, you know, I finally admitted this to them years later, but they are four years apart. So

Shannita graduated college in 03 when Parris graduated high school and they're like, 03, 03 and I was eight. So I was like, oak tree, oak tree, go nature. And that dynamic sort of being a thing where I didn't really get it but I was just happy to be around them to kind of growing up and starting to really have a really deep connection that is more like sisters, being able to have real conversations, tough conversations.

Parris (07:31)
Yes.

Syedah (07:49)
Figure out life cry to y'all all of that. So it's been cool that like that transition is kind of happening

Shaunita (07:50)
Thank

Parris (07:57)
Yeah, that's pretty dope. So yeah, me and Nita are four and a half years apart and then me and Syedah are 10 years apart. So, Nita and Syedah are close to 15 years apart. So yeah, we do have some of those differences and different things like that as far as the age difference, but still growing up very, very close. A lot of people will be like, didn't even know you guys were that far apart or anything, because we just are.

so close because we always had that space to be together. you know, like they said, we were always at my grandmother's house. the building my grandmother stay in, they'd like, y'all don't live here? No, we don't live here. Like, we're just, but we're just like always there. So that...

Shaunita (08:34)
Still are.

Syedah (08:40)
But basically...

Shaunita (08:40)
We used to. We used to.

Syedah (08:46)
And if we not

had grannies, they were dragging me wherever they went with them. So I went to college when I was four.

Shaunita (08:52)
Absolutely.

Parris (08:52)
Mm-hmm.

Shaunita (08:55)
Yes, we did.

Parris (08:56)
Yeah, you

did.

for hilarious. But also like, know, it being women's history month and us really just getting off of Black History Month, which that's every month with us. I just, you know, kind of wanted to go a little bit more. And I know you said you don't want to talk about your mothers and we could talk about them all the time, but just, you know, anything like special or any

great memories you have or any proud moments of your mother and of granny that you just like really, really want to highlight as being a strong Black.

Syedah (09:29)
We gotta choose one.

Shaunita (09:30)
I

know that's kind of hard. I will say for me, I've always known Granny to be extremely strong. Since I was little until very recently, I literally thought Granny was Superwoman. There was nothing that she could not do. There was no place that she was not going to show up if we were involved. And that's pretty much how it's always been. So...

she doesn't argue. She doesn't do like, she's just that kind of person. Like, she's the person that everybody wants to be around.

Syedah (10:01)
Her nickname

is Honey.

Shaunita (10:03)
Exactly. And so she's got the nickname for a reason. So, I think a lot of what I've learned in terms of like being calm and not letting stuff bother me, especially as I am getting older when I was younger, I can't necessarily say that, but as I have gotten older, me being, more calm and more patient and trying to be more understanding. A lot of this stuff I, got from granny. I,

used to watch her get up in the mornings and go to work and come home and you know clean up or whatever and of course she had nine kids so we've all heard the stories of how you know she did what she needed to do to take care of her kids and all of that too. And so that was was huge but she she mastered it and her kids turned out well and as a result so did we. With my mom

I think one of the highlights for my mom is the fact that she is a servant. She is always doing something for somebody else. And granny is like that too, so I think they kind of handed that down. Granny handed it to her and to me because I'm always doing something for others too. So I think I got that from my mom and one of her biggest accomplishments, I think.

that I can highlight is the fact that she has a dual masters. And I think that that's huge. That's a big deal. So shout out to my mommy. And thank you both, mommy and granny, for being a great example for us to follow.

Syedah (11:25)
Yeah. I don't wanna follow that. Man. Okay. So, Granny, like...

Parris (11:27)
Okay, so.

Syedah (11:33)
I'm struggling with this question because I feel like

Oftentimes we talk about strong black women, but then that means like, I don't know, when people really show their strength, it'd be in the midst of pain. And I'm not trying to go down that path, but those are the things that are honestly coming to mind right now. Like our family has just been through so much. Like granny, sometimes I think about, like just thinking about different things, things I wasn't even there for, right? But thinking about

Parris (11:49)
Mm-hmm.

Syedah (12:05)
how many kids she's had and how many kids she's lost, how many siblings she's had to sit through their funerals. Thinking about, of course, when Uncle died in the middle of the pandemic and she was supposed to be in rehab. Thinking about all of these moments when she had to really show her strength. It feels like, almost like Black Panther 2.

I don't want to talk about like it is that movie was a beautiful love story. And it was a beautiful depiction of strength and resilience in the midst of grief. I don't want to send her to grief right now. So I think I will pivot a little bit and just talk about the fact that, you know, I am going to second with Shaunita said, like, she's such a joy, even when you know, the world is chaotic. Granny is funny, bro. She petty.

Parris (12:37)
Yeah.

Syedah (12:50)
She is shady. She is just genuinely silly and funny. I be at granny's house time about I'm the most serious person in this room. That's crazy. Like y'all are insane because she be cutting up whatever. But even with that, okay, I still maintain that my dad's nickname was Dennis the Minnis. So on my dad's side, I got his genes. And then on my mom's side, granny is my grandmother.

Parris (13:02)
You be lying, girlfriend.

Syedah (13:18)
How else was I supposed to come out?

Parris (13:20)
Yeah.

Shaunita (13:22)
You have a valid point.

Syedah (13:22)
got it honest.

Thank you. Thank you. I had no choice in this. I'm just here. I'm just here. I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl. So, I'm just a girl.

Parris (13:32)
I'm just a girl.

Syedah (13:34)
And I am the girl I am thanks to Granny. And just the fact that she is the absolute light that she is. And then my mother. That's my girl for real. That's my G. Again, okay, one of the proudest moms I have I barely remember, but I do remember is one of my first memories because it was a big deal. And I didn't know why at the time, but I knew it was a big deal.

Parris (13:38)
coming forward.

Syedah (13:59)
And it was when she graduated nursing school because she continued in school after she had me and I was what? Y'all gotta help me three or four when she graduated. I want to say four. And I didn't know what was going on, but I knew I saw my mom and everybody celebrated her and I wanted y'all to get away from her. Cause like that's my mom. I don't know what's happening, but yeah. And growing up and understanding having gone back to school.

Shaunita (14:10)
Mm-hmm.

Syedah (14:28)
myself for a masters. Tuh, never want to do that again. Never want to relive that. Could not fathom doing it with a toddler? Bruh, what? So I'm always in awe of people who do that and my mom did it and as y'all can probably tell, I'm no easy child. I'm sorry.

not too much. Not too much. I'm so proud of my mom for that. And then also just that, again, wasn't here for this, but she's such a fly girl. She still is a fly girl, but I like hearing her talk about being a fly girl. I like hearing her talk about her downtown job and how, you know, they used to be in heels, dressed to the nines, nonstop for their

corporate jobs, click clacking downtown or whatever. And one time she pulled out this cute red leather tie and I was like, I need that. And I did steal it. I did. But she was telling me the story behind it and how she went to this Christmas party before it was popular to even do so before people like Janelle Monae were doing this. Like she came to this party in this black skirt and this white blouse, like a tuxedo blouse and the tie.

in some red shoes and she was just like killing it. And I said, I don't think like I ever had given her credit before, but I said, that where I got it from? Again, I had no choice but to be a hot girl. I came from my mother. So I just be real proud of the person that she was and has always been and then really proud of the person that she still currently is. She's so smart. She's so caring. She's so kind.

Shaunita (15:52)
you

Parris (15:52)
Jesus.

Syedah (16:07)
She's thoughtful, she's just all of these amazing things that I'm still trying to get together for myself. And yeah, with that, I'll turn it over to you,

Parris (16:17)
All right. For me, starting off with Granny, I would have to say I truly thank God every day for Granny's faith and instilling that faith in us. And when you talk about the strength, it's so funny when you see those memes and they were like calling God to let him know not to put me on the strong, strong soldier list.

Syedah (16:41)
Bro!

Parris (16:42)
Because like you say, in order to be strong, you gotta go through the pain. And I just think that our family wouldn't have survived a lot of the pain that we've been through without the faith that she has instilled in. I remember even just standing at her house, her being a 70, 80 year old rolling out of bed, getting on her knees to pray, or getting on her knees to pray before she went to bed every night. She did that faithfully.

Shaunita (16:47)
Mm-hmm.

Syedah (17:05)
Yes.

Parris (17:11)
So I just think the faith that she's instilled in us like I mean back then Shinaida can attest like my gosh like we were at church every day And we did not want to be a church every day But we were and I I am still very grateful like you know they say I'm still surviving off of the prayers of my grandmother And so that's the biggest thing when it comes to granny when it comes to my mom

Syedah (17:19)
Yeah, y'all were.

Parris (17:38)
My mom is that girl. She has always been and will always be that girl. She's the person that everybody calls on, that everybody looks to for advice. Even if you don't want the advice, she's going to give it to you. She always has something good to say and you may not want to hear it in the moment, but it will stick with you later. I always love the fact

Syedah (17:59)
Yeah.

Parris (18:01)
Like Syedah kind of pointed out, being an only child and being raised by a single mom, I always used to be a little like selfish, you know, like that's my mama. But it always made me proud to share my mom with other people. Kids always flock to our house, like to be with my mom, to spend a night, to do all of those types of things. And so I used to hate that at first and then I'm like, I got a cool mom.

people want to hang out, know, so that's that on that.

Shaunita (18:32)
Absolutely. Shout out to granny. Shout out to our moms. We love y'all.

Parris (18:36)
Yes. Yes.

Syedah (18:36)
Truly, wow.

We owe y'all everything.

Parris (18:41)
Yes. And just to kind of talk a little bit about, our granny, it's a little bit, we talk a little bit about grief, but our granny, we're kind of going through this with her. has dementia that has developed into Alzheimer's. So we do kind of like with the six of us, the three of us here and our mom, we kind of rotate taking care of her.

so that's kind of like what we talk about. And so we do go through that, but we should still try to smile through it, which is a part of the therapy that we have here. Having the podcast together to kind of, you know, have a little outlet or whatever. But I know we'll probably talk about that on down the line and other episodes because as we go through it with our grandmother, we realized that there are other people that go through it that we don't talk about it a lot. It's one of those subjects. Number one, we don't talk about dementia a lot and how it's.

like really prevalent now. And I think more so even in the black community now, like we're seeing that. But even what we don't talk about is watching your family members get old. They don't warn you about that. So that's different too. And like I said, we'll probably talk about that a little later. But I want to kind of transition a little bit into the sisterhood of things because, yeah, we don't have a traveling pants though.

Shaunita (19:37)
Mm-hmm.

Syedah (19:47)
Yeah.

Shaunita (19:51)
Yeah.

Syedah (19:56)
the sisterhood of the traveling pants.

Parris (20:01)
We have our own pants. Hopefully we have some on. You can't see them, you know, hopefully we do. Yes, okay. Yeah, we see her pants. Awesome. But I want to ask each of you, what does sisterhood mean to you? Even in our dynamic or like your friends dynamic, what is sisterhood to you?

And then how has it helped you in your life?

Shaunita (20:26)
That is a good question

For me, sisterhood is us. It's all the things that we do, just that relationship, that trust, that loyalty that we have within each other. I'm cool with a lot of women, but to call people my sisters, I can't do that with everybody. And so I value what we have, what we share.

And I don't necessarily know that I can pin a definition to it because it's different for everybody. But for me, it's this, it's us talking, it's us hanging out, it's us being there for one another when we need it, holding each other accountable, telling us what we need to hear, whether we want to hear it or not.

all the things that we pretty much do for each other. And probably outside of y'all, I can't say that about many people in terms of like a sisterhood. Probably twin, which is my very best friend from college, and Benita, which is one of my good girlfriends that I used to work with years ago. But there are not many people that I could say like,

true sisterhood that has stood the test of time when things were good, when things were bad, like not just when things are okay. Like you gotta be able to weather that storm. And it takes a special person, especially depending on the type of person you are and they are, to be able to weather those kinds of storms with people.

Syedah (21:53)
I like that a lot. think my definition is very, very similar, but I also have some caveats. Yeah, so I think it is first and foremost, like I know that the

people are like, sisterhood can be chosen family and all that. I truly believe that too. But I also think there's a lot to be said for the family you're given and why you're given that family. And a lot of people have very tough family dynamics. so I really do something I think about often and I'm just really grateful for is that I don't just love my given family. I really like y'all.

I really like all of my given family and I'm grateful for that. And I wanna, you know, kind of start there because the other piece of sisterhood to me is that, like I said, me and NeNe have other sisters. I have four sisters. have Tanisha, Denise, Sylvia, Rest in Peace and Carolyn. And I really love all of my sisters and I really like all of my sisters. And my sisters were,

are on my dad's side. So I didn't see them nearly as much as I saw you two. But it's like, again, I'm the baby all around. So I always was little baby and I love that for me. But kind of those middle years, like I definitely wasn't seeing them often or calling them for advice necessarily or anything like that. So it's been really such a blessing to, again, start to get older and

be intentional about developing relationships with them and getting closer to my sisters. And again, just very grateful that I actually really like them. And I really miss Sylvia a lot too. But I think that sisterhood is about how you feel about people, but it also is to some extent, like you are bonded by blood.

You are bonded by shared family, shared family dynamics, things that you have to process together, things that you have to go through together. And that's not necessarily always true for people who you don't share blood with. That said, when you find friends that are just that dope that you're like, oh my gosh, like, yeah, I'm gonna stick beside you through whatever, cause you're like a sister. That also is truly a crazy blessing.

And the other thing that I think about a lot because people say it to me a lot is they're like, how many best friends you got? And I'm like, I know, but because some way, somehow really amazing women, I keep finding them. They keep finding me. And so I have some of the most amazing best friends ever who really are like sisters to me.

Like my friends from Northwestern, my gosh, I would do anything for them. I already said in the first episode, like I live right above Alexis. We locked in. I reconnected with my best friend from high school recently, like best friend from work. Like I just am very, I feel really lucky. I feel really blessed. Cause I know people really start to say like around a certain age, your friends drop off a lot.

cannot relate, they just get better like wine. They just get better with time. So yeah.

Shaunita (25:21)
it.

Parris (25:22)
Pairing them to

Shaunita (25:23)
this.

Syedah (25:23)
Yeah.

Okay, you're right. I take it back. Parris your turn.

Parris (25:27)
All right, don't take it back though. For me, sisterhood is this. think that truly with the three of us, I feel like our

Shaunita (25:27)
you

Parris (25:36)
Our perspective of sisterhood is just so high quality because of the sisterhood we've seen with our mothers. We have that great example, like they are ride or die for each other no matter what they're going through. Like they're going ride or die. They're very close. They are there for the good and the bad.

And they showed us how to be together for each other. So even when it comes to sisterhood outside of the three of us, it's held at such a high standard. And when we find people that fit into that, it's for life. And we take it serious. And so with that, even growing up,

Shaunita (26:13)
Absolutely.

Parris (26:21)
when we would go, me and Shaunita would go different places. Like even if I was going somewhere, my mom would be like, oh, you can't go unless Shannita going. Because she was the big sister. Like she was going to be my protector or whatever. Like you can't go, you know. I mean, there was probably juke parties I shouldn't have never been to. But because Shannita went to them, I was able to go. OK. No, not. Shout out to Jackson Park Field House. no.

Syedah (26:42)
I'm more.

You

Shaunita (26:47)
Woo-hoo,

Parris (26:48)
Now go say no

Shaunita (26:48)
yes!

Parris (26:49)
more about that. But even when Syedah came along, even 10 years later, like up until then, like I never had a little sister, a little brother, anything like that. So I never knew what it was like to be a big sister. But I immediately found out like, okay, like now I'm held to a higher standard because now she's looking up to me. And so that's kind of what that showed me with this sisterhood now.

Outside of the three of us, like Syedah kind of said with her, like I've been blessed to find amazing friends. I don't talk too much to any of the people I went to grammar school with or high school with, but my college friends are my ride or die. It's like, those are my people. Not too many of them, but it's a group.

a handful of us that like, you know, we are everything to each other. And pretty much all of them have their own siblings and things like that. So it's just like a common ground, you know, and like you talked about, like usually you you've bonded because you've gone through things like we've basically been friends for pretty much 20 years now, which is crazy because I feel like I'm only 20 but it's wild that I think I'm only 20.

Syedah (28:01)
That's wild.

Shaunita (28:01)
you

Parris (28:05)
I know, right?

Syedah (28:05)
A

lot of things that just came out of your mouth were wild.

Parris (28:08)
No, but it seriously has been, yeah, 20 years. So I think that when you do find that you do have to hold on. And I'm gonna just say this, like when it comes to friendship and sisterhood, like a lot of times people fall out for the simplest things, right? But when you really think about it, you know, the guy that you dating, you get him.

chance after chance after chance after chance. But when it comes to that friend, it's like, well, one fallout and we done. I'm just saying, me and my friends haven't fallen out or anything like that. But I just mean like when you do find your sisterhood or your tribe, do what you can to hold on to it.

Syedah (28:52)
Amen. A word. I'm sorry. A word. A word.

Shaunita (28:52)
Great.

Parris (28:54)
But...

Yeah, I don't know if it's the middle finger. I don't know what swing it is. Yeah, just don't give just the middle finger, but you know.

Shaunita (29:01)
seen both so I don't know when I did this the other day that

part when I did this other day Reagan told me I was supposed to be doing this so but I've seen it both ways I don't know right at this point

Parris (29:13)
All right.

Syedah (29:14)
One last thing I'll add is I've never known life without sisterhood and I'm very grateful for that because when you were talking about that I was like, ooh again cannot relate. And yeah, something like we didn't mention yet. What we kind of have alluded to is that right now we're all in three different decades. So I'm 29, you're 39, you're 44. You're 44. Yeah, we haven't gone big for you yet. So.

right now for a tiny bit of time. We're all in three different decades, but when we transition that decade, it'll be two days after each other. And because of that, when you were out making friends with your current besties while I was eight and 10, you had just gone away for the first time to college, and we always obviously celebrated our birthdays together. And so you were gone.

Parris (29:55)
Mm-hmm.

Syedah (30:07)
and we were doing cake and ice cream at Granny's and I'm like, for what? Like, what's the big idea if my sister isn't here to do it with me? What are we celebrating? And then I do apologize, Parris, I'm sorry. Not you looking annoyed already, but I cried and cried.

Parris (30:26)
Mm-hmm.

Syedah (30:33)
And then you never missed another one and you drove three or four hours home for every birthday after that. And then I got to college and did not come home and I was a lot closer.

Parris (30:44)
never once came home.

Syedah (30:45)
I did once!

Parris (30:46)
No, we actually came up there to you, but...

Shaunita (30:46)
Mm-mm-mm.

Syedah (30:48)
You did that once and I came home once.

Parris (30:50)
Okay, yeah,

okay, yeah. Yeah, literally freshman year of college, during finals might I add because our birthdays, it's the beginning of May. She definitely called me crying because we weren't there together for our birthdays. So yeah, it's okay. But once she got older and she went to college, she understood that it's a trying time.

Syedah (30:56)
Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Parris (31:13)
and you really can't come home during that time, but it's all right.

Syedah (31:13)
Right.

Sorry. At

eight, I did not understand the concept of my birthday outside of our birthday together. I'm sorry.

Parris (31:23)
Yeah,

no it's okay. It's okay.

Shaunita (31:25)
Absolutely.

No, but that's a good thing. I like even that point. So for the first seven years, so Parris is May 1st, Syedah's is May 3rd. And for the first seven years of Said's life, they had birthdays together, which was a transition for Parris because for the first 10 years of her life, she celebrated by herself. And so then year 11, they started having birthdays together. And then all of a sudden, what Syedah is used to as a kid,

Syedah (31:44)
Sorry.

Shaunita (31:52)
shifts when Parris went away to school. And so for Parris to come home after seeing how that made Syedah feel, again, I think speaks to what we have and what we mean to each other. The fact that she was willing to come home because of how it made her little sister feel.

Syedah (32:09)
During finals,

my she had.

Shaunita (32:10)
during

finals, because again, May 1st, May 3rd, and for those who have gone to college, finals are normally like that first, second week of May. So we're running literally in the middle of finals and Parris is coming home to try to appease Syedah. it definitely just speaks, now though Syedah did not do the same. It speaks to where we are as sisters and-

Parris (32:33)
Huh?

Shaunita (32:35)
Even though Syedah didn't come home at that age, Parris wasn't going to cry because Syedah wasn't coming home. But they are crazy.

No, but I mean by the time you went to college, Parris was good and grown too. So it wasn't the same.

Parris (32:51)
It's a story telling for me,

like she's making it be better, but she's making you feel worse.

Shaunita (32:57)
I know, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make Syedah feel bad.

No.

Syedah (33:02)
You

Shaunita (33:02)
No, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that. But I just wanted them to understand the aw, Syedah I just wanted...

Parris (33:07)
don't know.

Shaunita (33:11)
What is this to understand like where they where they came from and so what's crazy while we're talking about that well we have those moments where we came home from college because I remember when I first went away to college and Both the y'all was like you leaving and then when Parris went away to college You were like you leaving and then when you went away like the kids were like where is auntie Syedah so all of us have experienced like

Syedah (33:15)
Mm-hmm. Thank you.

Shaunita (33:37)
Leaving people behind not even realize even though we're going to further education or whatever like as kids You don't necessarily understand that when it's when it's happening. So Yeah

Syedah (33:47)
Yeah.

Parris (33:50)
And so Sy went to school like, sorry, but like 30 minutes away, okay. And she cried for different reason. She cried because she, you had just had Reaghan. And she was like, I don't wanna go because Reagan's not gonna know who I am. Do you remember that?

Syedah (33:50)
I was a-

Shaunita (33:59)
Thank

Syedah (34:03)
Why are we doing this?

Shaunita (34:08)
my god, yes.

So I do. I do.

Syedah (34:12)
We all remember it. Let's move on.

Shaunita (34:15)
But now Reaghan loves her TT and my goodness. So I told you she would never forget you. She never did, neither did any of the rest of the kids. Like Auntie Syedah is that girl. So.

Parris (34:15)
And now that's your gang, Ray. Alright!

She remembered you.

Alright.

Syedah (34:28)
Thank you. The first time I came home and she ran to me, I cried again. Now I sound like I'm Jayla I don't need to be crying like that. That's what's crazy about this. I don't even be crying like that. Like we just talking about every instance I ever cried right now. Yeah.

Parris (34:35)
You really don't.

No, but she was crying.

These are the only times she has cried. It's the ones we just talked about. wait till the next episode and we'll talk about some more.

Shaunita (34:46)
Right. Absolutely.

Syedah (34:48)
Low key, low

key.

I'm crying. I was gonna say, go ahead. I was just gonna say, your transition to college was easier because you took me. Thank you.

Shaunita (34:52)
That's hilarious. I will say, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

You're welcome. And so she went

to college at four because we came down to DeKalb to spend time with me. And so, yeah, it was a good time. And she experienced college at a very early age. Right, because she was my daughter. So she had to come and visit her mama at school.

Syedah (35:08)
Ended!

Parris (35:15)
Yeah, because that was your daughter.

Syedah (35:22)
Yeah.

Parris (35:24)
Brenda had a baby.

Shaunita (35:24)
And I will say, so

like that transition and these two have always had big sisters when it came to me, but I didn't have a big sister because I played that role. And so for me, the person that I used to look up to was Rena, which is our big cousin, shout out to Rena. And she is probably six or seven years older than me.

Parris (35:42)
Bye.

Shaunita (35:47)
But she was the big sister that I didn't have. And so I was able to look up to her when it came to schooling and watching her do her thing. And I think that kind of helped me with being able to lead both Parris and Syedah and kind of showing them, not necessarily showing them the way, but like.

Our family is very huge on education. And so when I say don't play no games, don't play no games. You couldn't come in Granny House with a C. Do y'all hear me? It was like, what is that? Go back outside so you get it together. So, exactly. And so I think that me pushing and doing what I had to do and going to Northern gave.

Syedah (36:18)
Try again.

Parris (36:19)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Shaunita (36:29)
you know, Parris something to shoot for, gave Syedah something to shoot for. And so I'm glad that I was able to be to them or at least I hope to be something to model. And I think that that's important to be a role model. Like I didn't want to be somebody that they couldn't look up to. So I took my big sister role very, very seriously.

Syedah (36:37)
Yes.

Amen.

Shaunita (36:53)
So, and I still to this day, but back then I definitely was like, they're watching me. got to, you know what I mean? I don't want anything to happen and they be able to say they got that from Nini. Like if you're going to do something after me, it's got to be something.

Syedah (36:53)
Mm-hmm.

And is so one shout out to Rena aka granny's favorite.

Shaunita (37:14)
Hehehehe

Syedah (37:15)
Shout out to Rena I love you down. But two, I will say from my experience, it wasn't even like something to shoot for. Like, oh, this is this far out thing that I can do if I put my mind to it. It was the given path and the expectation by the time I came along. Y'all left no room for error. And so it was just like.

Shaunita (37:17)
Absolutely.

Syedah (37:44)
These are the women who came before you these are your big sisters and you're not going to know less It's so that was that either. I mean it wasn't even like Here's my dream and my goal and I hope I can reach it. It was like You're doing that

Shaunita (37:58)
I don't know, you gonna reach it.

Syedah (38:00)
And I'm grateful, right?

Parris (38:01)
And

I'm grateful.

Syedah (38:03)
Shout out to y'all. But yeah, it wasn't even like something to aspire to. It was like, there's your path, good luck.

Parris (38:10)
Definitely. Good luck. I also wanted to say like what are like we talk about our family, our moms, but don't get it twisted. There are so many of us like we come from a huge, huge family. Our granny was one of 10 siblings and granny then went on to have nine kids of her own. And all of those 19 that we're talking about.

all had kids. So we all like we have lots of cousins like I have friends they be like that's your cousin too. We're like yeah you haven't even met 25 % of them because we have so many cousins.

Syedah (38:41)
Yes.

No.

haven't met 25 % of them.

Parris (38:48)
No, seriously. But we do have a really, really huge family, which even goes to show like really just how close we are because just even out of all of us, like we're really, really close. But then we're like so close to the rest of our, you know, like first cousins and second cousins or first cousin removed or however you say it. Like, we know all of our family. Like I was like, that's my great aunt. That's my great, great uncle. Like they were like, you know them.

like yeah me and Shaunita was blessed to know our great great grandmother before she passed i thought you know you were there okay

Syedah (39:20)
knew her too!

I was there for Big Mama, she died when I was four. I remember her.

Parris (39:27)
No, we

Shaunita (39:27)
No, great, great,

Parris (39:28)
talking about

Shaunita (39:28)
Grandma Elizanne. Big mama's mama.

Parris (39:29)
Big Mama Mama. Yeah. Oh, that's that song.

Syedah (39:31)
no, no I was not there, I was not there. That's

cool.

Shaunita (39:37)
Yes

Parris (39:37)
All right. We're going to go ahead and transition to our Jesus corner on that note.

Shaunita (39:43)
can we die?

Parris (39:45)
How can we not? Our Jesus Corner is where we have our Jesus moment or positive perspective of what we got going on this weekend. So this week, we just kind of wanted to talk about the Lenten season. We are in Lent right now. So from Ash Wednesday to Easter, we are fasting.

Shaunita (39:47)
you

Syedah (39:47)
you

Parris (40:07)
And so for us with our church, special shout out to Fellowship Chicago and our pastor, Pastor Reginald Wayne Sharp Jr. But we are fasting from things that I don't know because I'm just fasting. Yeah. Yeah. But no bread, no sweets.

Shaunita (40:12)
Whoop whoop whoop whoop!

you

Syedah (40:27)
Period.

You want me to tell

you? You got it.

Parris (40:34)
Yeah, no bread, no sweets and fried foods. Yeah, and no alcohol. One thing that we are doing, but we are not including Sundays. So Sundays is like our off day or whatever. anything in particular that you guys are praying for or fasting for in this Lent season.

Syedah (40:37)
Fried food, alcohol.

Shaunita (40:39)
and alcohol.

Acceptance Day.

Um, for me, um, what did you say? Oh, um, for me.

Syedah (41:00)
Yeah, you start.

Parris (41:01)
Bye!

Syedah (41:05)
Said you start. You sit.

Shaunita (41:10)
My god, for me there are so many things going on Right now so I am Working on some things personally that I hope to be able to release the you are really soon. So I am working on that and Just some different things happening, of course life is always life in different things happening in the workforce and

especially with the state of our country. It's just a lot going on. So there's a lot that I am praying about, but I definitely feel like at the end of this, I'm going to feel some weight lifted, not only physically, but as Dr. Jamie alluded to Sunday when she was talking, just some weights of different things and people coming off.

Syedah (41:36)
Oof.

Mm-hmm.

Shaunita (41:57)
I'm definitely looking forward to that.

Syedah (42:00)
I'm right with you. I am praying for the weight to be lifted off of me as well. Life is definitely life-ing. I am in a very irritating transition phase right now, and I'm just praying for clarity on next steps. I have never so deeply in my life felt everywhere to the song Order My Steps, but I'm there. And so I'm just like...

By the time I come out of this 40 day, I'm going to be really tuned in to the voice of God and not questioning, okay, that a sign or was that a coincidence? Was that God's voice or was that my own? Like, I'm going to be tapped in spiritually and that is what I need, what I want and what I'm praying for.

And then otherwise, yeah, the world is in pure chaos right now. I'm going to continue to call out like Palestine and Sudan and Congo in my prayers and so many more. The state of our country is insane, but I literally earlier today watched the TikTok of a black woman drinking wine and refusing to be fazed and lured to the front lines to fight again when we tried to stop it with our vote.

And so I'm also a little bit there where like, I'm still praying for the state of the country, but I'm also just like, there's enough on my plate. This is not gonna stress me out as well. Be blessed.

Parris (43:32)
for me in this season, my prayer is for my business. and, the, just getting some clarity on that, but also getting some improvements on it and, finding different ways and different avenues to do different things with the business. but also getting some.

I'm praying for more discipline and consistency in every area of my life. Right now that's what I'm lacking and that's what I've kind of just drifted away from. So I'm praying for that every day and that's what I got going on in this season. That's why I say I'm just fasting because I need it. Whatever they say don't do I'm not doing but I

Syedah (44:16)
Amen.

Shaunita (44:16)
Absolutely.

Parris (44:19)
door.

Syedah (44:20)
No fish, eh?

Shaunita (44:22)
I love it.

Parris (44:23)
Anything else y'all wanted to talk about when it comes to family or sisterhood?

Syedah (44:28)
No, but I want to ask a question about fasting. Do you feel like you've ever done a fast that wasn't effective or like you didn't fast the way you wanted to and how did you kind of alter shift that?

Parris (44:45)
For me when it comes to fasting I always try to set an intention before So I know what the purpose of the fast is for me And I don't I haven't ever felt that the fast Like was a waste or I didn't get what I needed it may not have been what What I went in for but I always got something out of it

Syedah (45:08)
Hmm.

Parris (45:08)
Um,

whether it was, okay, like to talk about, um, one of the biggest testimonies I talk about that happened with me in 2022 when we came out of, um, a fast then I was praying about, um, Lord helped me be able to, um, deal with my coworkers when really God was telling me no.

This is your last time dealing with the coworkers. And so what I went in for was something different, but it helped me to get closer to God because just like what you were saying, it me to know his voice. He had been telling me to quit my job before I even had a new job and I wasn't listening because I was thinking about what I've been told before. You got to have a job before you quit this job and this and that. Well, God had been telling me to quit my job and I wasn't listening.

but it helped me to hear from him. And like our pastor emeritus, Charles Jenkins, I always say, you know, he speaks to you through thousand situations, people, but primarily his word. And I was in my word so much at that time that I had no choice but to listen to God. So it was like, okay, well, I told you this three months ago. Now I'm telling you this in a different way. And it helped me to follow him. So even though it wasn't what I was looking for,

Syedah (46:18)
Mmm.

Parris (46:29)
It was what I was looking for.

Syedah (46:31)
Amen.

Shaunita (46:33)
for me It's so crazy because there's not a time that I have done a fast that I did not get more than I ever expected So I don't know why I don't live my life on the path. But it's something about like literally intentionally being You know what there is something about intentionally

Syedah (46:41)
Hmm.

Parris (46:43)
you

Syedah (46:46)
because you already barely eat.

Parris (46:50)
Hello.

Shaunita (46:54)
being obedient to God's word and what we are requested to do. And when it is time to fast, now I will say I don't only fast when the church calls fast. There are times where there's some stuff going on, and not always bad, but just some things that I'm praying about or people that I'm praying about, and then I fast and give up certain things for a season.

Every time and I don't think that this one is gonna be any different every time probably before the fast even ends God shows up and shows out and so I don't fast for that, but I'm grateful that in that God decides to bless me and and shows me like what's possible for me to have for my obedience, so

I'm not gonna tell y'all that I am always excited about fasting because that's definitely a change Because I already excited just alluded to I don't eat much So when you tell me like that, I can't have the few things that I do eat That's a little bit different. But I know that the sacrifice and that and what is being asked Is something that can

Syedah (47:51)
Mm-hmm.

Shaunita (48:08)
be done and I look forward to the revelation that I receive while I'm fasting. I read more, I study more. Even I can tell sometimes when I'm fasting with my note taking at church, I'm even like more intentional. I'm taking more notes just because of where I am mentally. So it just does something. It just does something to me and

I don't always like it in the beginning. So like day two, a couple of days ago, it was rough. I think that was just yesterday. But now, day three, I am okay. I'm getting there. So yeah. And I think I've grown because normally when we fast, we do have these free days and I look forward to the free days a lot. But our free day is Sunday and I'm not even really excited about Sunday. I'm gonna participate. But I'm not necessarily.

Syedah (48:37)
I was like, that was...

Mm-hmm.

Shaunita (48:56)
Excited about I'm not like hurry up and get to Sunday because I really am thirsty for what God truly has for me and so I am I am okay until Sunday gets here because I'm really like Working on me and God strengthening me and giving me what I need in this season

Syedah (48:59)
Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Parris (49:16)
What about you, Seth?

Syedah (49:17)
Yeah, clearly I asked for a reason, right? Last year, so I wanna start off by shouting out Pastor Meredith Jenkins and Pastor Sharpe and obviously our founder, the unparalleled Reverend Clay Evans, period. Because they always definitely made it clear that a fast is nothing without prayer.

And a fast is all of these things and it's more than a diet. And I've known this for a long time. And every fast until last year, that's what I was on. Last year, I was like, okay, yeah, it's time to fast again. I'm really not excited for this. Like, I'm really not excited for this. I was just really in the go, go, go of life. And I was like, this is a disruption. But it's a church fast. Like, I'ma do it. I'ma do it.

And I just don't think I was in the right head space because like you just said, was like, Sunday needs to hurry up. Like I was pressed. I was stressed and I was not praying about it when I was pressed and stressed. I was just like, ugh, like I don't want to eat this food. And when I came out of the fast, like I think this is one of the most disappointing.

times, or one of the times I've been the most disappointed in myself. Because I knew I didn't really get much from it. was like, girl, you did a diet. You did not, you weren't tapped in. honestly, the rest of last year, I didn't really feel that close to God. I knew my relationship was struggling and I knew spiritually I could be doing better. So this year I was like, I can't wait until we get to this fast. I'm so ready. I'm so dialed in.

Parris (50:43)
Mm-hmm.

Syedah (51:02)
I've been right there since it started and exactly what you just said, Nene like last year I was like 172 hours until Sunday. This year I'm like, Sunday can come, Sunday can go. I probably will take my free day, but I'm not counting on it and I'm not dying until we get there. And if he said tomorrow, actually, we're going to go to straight 40 all the way through, I'd be like,

Parris (51:21)
Uh-huh.

Syedah (51:32)
But, and last year I had been ready to throw a fit, a full fit, like a full fit. And so I'm just like.

Parris (51:33)
Mm-hmm.

Shaunita (51:33)
Let's go.

you

Syedah (51:39)
Yeah, I don't think we even really addressed enough how easy it is for a fast to just be a diet. But the point of giving up food is that you're removing things and I wasn't removing anything else in my life besides food to refocus my attention. Like there was a lot on my plate last year and it demanded a lot of my attention and I didn't remove any of it to be like, I'm gonna spend more time, like you said Parris, in the word. I'm gonna spend more time.

Parris (51:46)
Mm-hmm.

Thank

Yeah.

Syedah (52:08)
praying intentionally. I was like, I'm logged onto the prayer call like in the mornings, like that's cool. And I'm doing the verse of the day, like that's cool. yeah, I just did not come out any different at the end than I went in.

Parris (52:16)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Syedah (52:25)
So

I'm very excited for this year.

Shaunita (52:27)
So shout out for growth, yes.

Parris (52:27)
Yes, okay. Yes, yes.

Syedah (52:29)
thanks, you know.

Parris (52:33)
It is about sacrifice on both ends. You know, food or whatever you're giving up, but also sacrificing your time for God. Because if you really just think of it as a diet, you feel empty physically and you need that spiritual feeling to...

you know, take your mind off of that physical emptiness. But if you don't have both, then, you know, the balance is off. you...

Syedah (52:57)
Absolutely.

And

I was just irritated because I was like, I don't diet. Like I don't even like diet culture. So I was just like, what am I doing? Like, what am I doing? Yeah.

Parris (53:11)
I don't need my drink diet coke.

Syedah (53:13)
Never said, I don't, but I never said that.

Parris (53:15)
We know you love your food, girl, just like they love their sheep dog.

Syedah (53:18)
I do love

Shaunita (53:21)
you

Parris (53:21)
Um, no, but yeah, I'm excited about the fast. I'm excited about, what we're going to get out of it, individually, but just even corporately, like coming together, the fast together is pretty dope. So, um, even our family's doing it together. Like, yeah. Go ahead.

Syedah (53:32)
Yes.

And you know, sorry. Yes. The other

thing that I think is really cool is that Ramadan is at this time as well. And even just being on social media, like I'm seeing a lot of like our Islamic brothers and sisters being very excited for this season and being very excited for the fast. And it's a different fast. It's a different like a lot is different, but a lot is so similar. And so watching people be super excited.

to be disciplined and hold themselves to really high standards for their spiritual growth is like also inspiring. And I just think it's really beautiful. Like I appreciate that I can be inspired by Islamic culture. Yeah, and a different religion and like the dedication that my Muslim friends are showing. And I've definitely like been taking inspiration and being like.

Parris (54:20)
different religion.

Syedah (54:30)
Five times a day is a reasonable number of times to aim for serious prayer. Maybe I can set that standard for myself. yeah, stuff like that. I think that's cool too.

Parris (54:36)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, now it's time to get right. That's for sure. All right, well, ladies, I think we're going to go ahead and wrap it up. We are excited to have you guys with us to talk. We're just talking to each other. We just got you all as a part of our audience, and that's just what we do here. But as you can see, we're going to talk about some real things.

Syedah (54:47)
curious.

Wow.

Parris (55:07)
Hot topics sometimes we got some faith some Jesus in there because we are believers And just want you guys to like share subscribe Share the podcast with the people you know people you don't know we don't care. We just want Yeah, Shaunie tell them where they can find us

Syedah (55:14)
Okay.

Where can they find the podcast?

Shaunita (55:28)
So we are on Instagram under Sis Synergy Podcast. So S-I-S-S-Y-N-E-R-G-Y Podcast. That's again on Instagram. And then we would also love for you guys to keep in touch with us. And you can do that by emailing us at sissynergypodcast at gmail.com.

Parris (55:53)
Yes, email us your topics, your questions, anything. But I know it was definitely giving  Yes. You what I I could just say. Listen, y'all, we're out. Thank you. Bye.

Syedah (56:03)
Y-M-O-N-D. Baby, tell me what you wanna do.

Shaunita (56:05)
Y-M-O-N-D. Got to look like Joe to see.

Goodnight,

bye.