⛓️‍💥 Addict, Felon, Leader: The Moment That Changed Everything

What if the messiest chapter of your life was the very thing that makes you unforgettable?

This is the behind the scenes of one of the wildest, darkest moments of my life — getting pulled over with a car full of drugs, arrested (again), and hitting the kind of rock bottom that most people don’t come back from.

But instead of ruining my future, that moment rewrote it.

This isn’t just my story — it’s a lesson in why your truth is more magnetic than any niche, funnel, or polished brand strategy. We talk addiction, identity loss, jail time, healing, Human Design (4/6 Self-Projected Projector vibes), and how owning your story can unlock a wildly aligned business and brand.

If you’ve ever felt like your past disqualifies you from success, this episode will remind you: your story is your superpower.

Inside this episode:

• The real reason your content isn’t converting
• Why your story sells faster than any strategy
• The healing arc that becomes your unfair advantage
• How my Human Design explained everything
• What to do if you’re scared to share your truth

This is your permission slip to stop hiding and start owning the magic in your mess.

Ready to learn how your Human Design unlocks your paycheck?
 🎁 Grab my free $0–$40K Spiritual Biz System Step-by-Step here.
It’s time to build a business that feels as good as it looks.

P.S. Looking for the 'Why I'm Grateful I was a Heroin Addict' episode?

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Amanda

• 🧠 Masters in Positive Coaching Psychology
• ✨ 6x Credentialed Coach
• 🦄 Ex-Creative Marketing Director
• 🦉 4/6 Projector | Human Design + Simple Systems

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"Your story is more powerful than any marketing tactic."

Transcript

0:00

So I want to talk about one of the wildest moments in my life, and there have been a few. The kind of moment where your heart drops into your stomach and your soul goes silent. Or it comes online, I still can't tell. I got pulled over with a shit ton of drugs in my backseat. Like, the kind of thing that could have ruined my future. And in a way it did, but not in the way that you might think. That moment cracked me open. It was the beginning of everything changing, not because someone came to save me, but because I started to save myself. And in this episode, I want to share why your story, no matter how messy, shameful, chaotic, or non-linear is, The most magnetic thing about you. Not your niche, not your branding, not your logo, your truth. So at this point, I was very disillusioned with the life that I was living, and myself, to be quite honest. I had graduated with my masters in positive coaching psychology, and in the midst of that, My best friend and boyfriend at the time had died of an overdose. And he and I were very close. Somehow, I still managed to graduate, but I totally fell apart, honestly. I'm not gonna lie to you, I lost my shit. I just didn't feel like anyone in the world would ever understand or love me the way that he did. And even though he and I had gotten into using together, I'm sure there was a lot of trauma bonding going on there. He was still my best friend. So, after graduation, I had a lot of free time on my hands and I don't do well with too much free time. I'm the kind of person who needs some kind of structure, but hates structure at the same time. And so, I started gravitating, hanging around people that were definitely not good for me, but I just, I wanted to numb the pain. I was going through the motions, numbing out, totally disconnected from my purpose. I felt like I was trying to fit into a world that was never made for me. Hello, projector problems, by the way. The world is definitely not built for us. So, I had just left my friend's house. It was like six o'clock in the morning. My mom had kicked me out of the house. It's, At this point, and so I was basically living out of my car, staying at different friend's houses, and I was with this guy who was, like, way older than me, and a drug dealer. And I thought I was going to be staying at his house, but he wouldn't answer his phone, so I stayed at this other guy's house, and I'm driving through Estelle, Georgia, at like six o'clock in the morning, and I see the blue lights behind me. And I, I'm like, oh shit, because I had a lot of drugs in my backseat. A lot. And I, my heart was pounding, I was fully panicking, and I was, my arm was broken at the time, it was in one of those splints that has, you can still kind of move it a little, it was in a whole cast, and so when I see the blue lights, I'm trying to reach back into the backseat and get rid of the things that were in there, so I'm like slowing down, but not- not stopping, but I couldn't get my arm to work correctly to get my arm back there to get rid of the drugs, and he kept getting closer and closer and closer, and I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna have to pull over. So by the time he finally pulls me over, I've got all my drugs laying on my lap in front of me, and it was just like, oh shit, it was like the time of moment, like, kind of moment that just makes you freeze, and I- I was still kinda high at this point, and so the- it hadn't fully set in, and I just- I started to realize how far I had drifted from the woman that I wanted to be, I just- I didn't know who I was anymore, and I couldn't blame anyone else but myself, and I couldn't avoid the truth. It was- this was really a breaking point, and the thought- I was- Thinking, as I'm in the backseat of his car, I'm like, f***, what is my mom gonna say? I can't call her again, because this wasn't the first or second time I had been arrested. I think this was, like, the third, and I just was like, she's gonna be so disappointed in me, I'm a failure, I'm never gonna add up to anything. How- how do you come back from this kind of moment? And I was in jail for- I think a month or two at this point, but because I had been run over by a car earlier that year, so I was technically supposed to be in a wheelchair, and when he arrested me and put my arms behind my back, it re-broke my arm. And so my arm wasn't healing properly, and so my mom ends up harassing the jail until they put me in solitary confinement in the infirmary, because I really wasn't supposed to be walking around- and we'll see around, but I had been so high up until this point I didn't really feel the pain, and they didn't want to get sued. So I ended up being in a, like, in the infirmary, in this, like, little room for five weeks, by myself, with nothing to do. There was a payphone in there, so I would just call my mom probably every ten minutes. And I remember when I was in jail that time, I honestly didn't have anything to do. I didn't even have anything to read, nothing. There was one Twilight book, so I read the same Twilight, the first one. I read it, I don't know, at least four or five times. And those are not the kind of books you want to read four or five times. They're not me. And then there was, like, you could get the county paper, but I had the same one, it was just, like, months old. It was just literally nothing to do. And I had a really good lawyer, so I ended up being able to get sent to a, a pretty nice rehab in Florida. It was probably too nice for me at this point, because I was only there for four weeks or so. By the way, you don't get clean and heal in four weeks. That's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And I ended up leaving rehab. I met these guys in there, and I was like, friends are the family you choose, staying at his house, and relapse pretty much immediately. Ugh. And, There was really no magical awakening. It was just a slow burn of realization that I couldn't keep living this way. I didn't know how I could build a better life yet. I just knew that I could not stay in the one that I was in. And so I started asking bigger questions. Like, what am I here for? What would I be doing? you're going if I wasn't afraid. I was so afraid. And sometimes you have to go through it because it makes you a more powerful leader and guide and teacher. And the only way through it is, it is through it. Because one of the times I was in rehab, there was this counselor who she'd been addicted to weed for, like, I don't know, a few weeks or something. And she was trying to say she understood my pain. That she understood what I was going through. And I was like, you couldn't possibly understand what I've been through because you never lived it. And I'm sure that's true to some extent. Like, you know, you can still have compassion and empathy for someone even if you haven't been in their shoes. And I know that she did have that for me, but I couldn't listen or hear anything she said. And because her experience didn't connect to mine. Here's the truth of what I realized. You are never off your path. Even when it feels like you're so deep in the mess, everything is adding up. Every choice, every mistake, every moment of rock bottom. It is all- all part of your soul curriculum. I believe that before we come here, we choose the lessons that we want to learn. And we don't learn when everything is going great. We just don't. We're creatures of comfort, and we're programmed to prefer a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven. And at this point, I didn't know- Oh, anything else. I had been using since I was 15 years old, so I didn't really know what else was outside of this world. I just remember my whole life feeling like I never fit in. I felt things so deeply, and I didn't know what to do with those feelings. And so I did what addicts do. I started using. And because I- I didn't get the lesson, you know, the first time I was arrested the second time, the third time, or the first second or third time in rehab, I had to keep going through it until it got so bad that I was willing to change. And it wasn't that anybody came to save me. It was that it finally became easier to change than it was to stay the same. And when I tell people my story, they're just like, Amanda, I cannot believe this. This is so crazy. Like, how- How did you stop using heroin? And I actually made an episode called why I'm grateful I was a heroin addict. It was the first time I had ever shared my story with people outside of my immediate life. And I remember when I made that podcast episode, I was so nervous. Oh my god, this was years ago. I'll link it to the description here. And I was so nervous because at the time I was working- as a professional relationship director at this oral surgeon and I was convinced they were gonna find out about it and they were gonna see- they were gonna find out that I was an addict and a loser and a shitty person and an imposter and I was gonna be fired. And it- I had to really think my way through this because I'm like, how the f*** would they find this podcast episode, Amanda? Come on. So my name wasn't on it. I didn't have- I didn't have- I have the confidence that I have now. And, it was the beginning of my healing journey, honestly though, because it was the first time I realized I could talk about who I was, my past, the things I had been through and- and be safe. That I wasn't gonna die if I shared my story and so that was really a way of jumping into the deep water, you know. Some people would probably start up- start with a little bit more of a, less vulnerable story, but I never do anything half-ass. It's either all or nothing. There's no other way for me. And I'm so grateful- I really am so grateful I was a heroin addict because it forced me to- it forced me to get my shit together and recognize- Recognize. The strength that had been inside of me all along. And I have never, not once, had anything but positive reception from sharing my story. It's so true, what Brene Brown says, your st- vulnerability is the only true path to connection. And through all of this- I did finally get my life together later that year once I had been arrested and gone to rehab one more time because, you know, you gotta go through it. And... it took years to get myself to the point where I was comfortable opening up and talking about it. But I'm sharing this with you today because it's- your story really- It is more powerful than any marketing tactic. It's at the core of who you are. And scale is- scaling is achieved when you stimulate growth while staying true to your values. And one of my values and core beliefs is that your story is more powerful than any marketing tactic. And I just want you to know your- You are never off your path. Sometimes it can feel like it. It can feel like it's just- everything's falling apart all at once and you best believe if everything is falling apart all at once, you are on the path, my friend. This is your path. And when you start opening up and sharing about it in real time or in hindsight, it really does shift you at the core of your being. When you share your story- the store. For your story changes. When you share your story, people can connect with you because people buy from people that they know like and trust. Nobody wants to buy from some perfect Instagram influencer with the picture perfect life. They might like buy their products or whatever, but they're not really buying into mentors and coaches and he'll- others and teachers who are perfect. Who the f*** wants perfect? It just makes us feel bad about who we are. And that everything is always adding up. Every choice, every mistake, every moment of rock bottom, it's all curriculum for your soul and eventually it becomes a tool to help others. You are not lost. You're being refined. You are in the middle of becoming- And aren't we all? Aren't we all? Some things that I've realized about how all of this came to be as a four, six, self-projected projector. And human design. I have always felt things deeply. I also have a Pisces moon. I am very emotional. I can't see like- If that movie Bambi, oh my god, that was so traumatic for me as a child. Like, I can't watch animals get hurt. It just- I have to cover my eyes or turn it off. I can't watch things like that. And I just always remember being so sensitive and my parents would say, Amanda, stop crying. Get over it. Like, pull yourself together. It never felt safe to just- to cry. And I- I used to feel and rehab that I didn't have any reason to be such a f***** up addict because I grew up with a middle-class white family. We always had food, shelter, you know? I got to travel as a child. Like, there were so many good things about my childhood and I didn't feel like my past was f***** up enough to warrant the person I had become and the things that I had put my family through at this point. I mean, I, I just, I felt like there was no excuse. So when people would open up about, you know, their child abuse or sexual abuse or these things happening to them as a kid, I couldn't, I was like, oh, what do you have Amanda? Like, you know. My parents got divorced when I was, when I was five and they had a really messy divorce and it was very angry and I'm, you know, I'm sure that was part of it because I just always, It's craved that stability. As a 4.6, you want nothing but stability, but the first 30 years are literally designed to be your training ground. That, that's what it means to be a sixth line. In order to become a role model who people just want to be around and learn from, you gotta go through the mess. And it's interesting because my mom is a 4.6 projector as well and the first 30 years of her life were so similar to, And we had always seen those similarities, but when I found human design, I realized that was, that was literally by design. She moved out of her house at, at 18 with this black guy and her parents, they weren't necessarily racist, but I guess they were. And they were living in the south. They're Jewish from New York. And she moves across the country with this man at 18 and doesn't see her family for years. And I didn't necessarily do that, but I did go to school in New Orleans for a while, worked in a strip club. I mean, I just did a lot of crazy shit, and it... it just, it felt like I was leading two separate lives. I had the Amanda who went to school, who, who had her shit together, got good grades, and then I got this, like, party girl inside who just wanted to numb the pain. It was, and for a while, I was able to keep those two worlds separate, but like, like I said, after Joe died, I, everything fell apart, and I couldn't keep them separate anymore because the pain was just so... unbearable. It's all I wanted to do. So whether or not you're a sixth line or a third line, understand that this is by design. And human design has just really given me the lens and the validation. And the understanding of how my energy works, what I came here to do, why I've always, you know, why these things have happened in my life. And it's really true after my first Saturn return, almost like to the day, is when I started to turn my life around. Because inside of me this whole time, I knew, it was like I knew this wasn't my life, and that I was gonna be okay. And I know for a, that I have been so divinely protected given all of the things I have been through, and to still be standing, I know that I'm supposed to still be here, and that I had to go through those things. It develops your strength of character in a way nothing else And so this time in my life, it didn't disqualify me. It qualified me to. You lead with compassion, empathy, and realness. My voice is my authority. And when I started speaking my truth, I stopped playing small. Your story is more powerful than any marketing strategy because people do not by your offer. They buy into your journey. Your story builds trust. Faster than any funnel. And the parts that you're afraid to share, that's literally your sole signature. It's what makes you unforgettable. And now I have no shame in my game. In my Instagram bio right now, it says jail to six figures. I built a 20k month business from scratch. And not my following is growing. My engagement is growing. More and more people are reaching out. My business has never been more successful. Then it is right now because I'm just, I'm not hiding it anymore. The more human you are, the more magnetic you become. Because nobody can copy your healing arc. That is your unfair advantage. Your story is not a scar. It's not shameful. It is a- a spotlight. I want you to use it. Now, you don't have to do it the way I did and share everything, you know, that you're so ashamed of. You don't have to do anything. But if you're- if you're not converting at the level that you want to be at, I can almost guarantee it's because nobody knows who the f*** you are. And you're sharing vanilla ass content that nobody- But. That nobody cares about and that you're just over it. You're over it. You've been trained that, like, you're marketing, you need to have, you know, content pillars and build authority and educate and, you know, engage and whatever. And all of that's vanilla. There are so many coaches and healers and light leaders and, you know, spiritual business owners out there now and there's no competition because nobody can be you. You are- Thank you. Literally, once in a lifetime, billion, trillion, gazillion years type of cosmic event and there are people out here that only you can serve. They have literally signed a sole contract to struggle until you show up and sell them something. And people buy from people that they know, like, and trust. And if you are selling one-on-one coaching, you know, if you're selling anything, but if you're selling one-on-one coaching specifically, one-on-one buyers are intuitive. They buy when they have the time and the money and the means to do so. And they're not the reason they're going to choose you over anybody else is because there's a part of your story, your energy, your aura that they connect with. It's really not complicated. It's really not complicated. I think people overcomplicate one-on-one coaching so much. I think they need to have this whole program built out or a course or whatever. It's like, you know, just like be your f****** self. Share the things that you're scared to share. Talk about your journey. That's what brings people in faster than anything. So, if this episode cracks something open in you, I want you to do one thing today. I want you to voice note the messiest, realist part of your journey. You don't have to post it. Don't edit it. Just let your voice speak your truth. And then start getting curious about how that moment shaped who you are now. It doesn't have to relate to it perfectly to what you're doing now. It doesn't have to be anything. It just has to be real and authentic. People are so fake and vanilla out there and they wonder why they're b-b business isn't growing. It's because nobody cares about your embodiment coaching or your conscious, you know, confidence coaching or whatever the f*** it is you're selling because they don't even really know who you are. Why should they buy from you? Simon Sinek and his famous little TED talks that start with why? Why are you doing this? Why is this important to you? Why? Why should people join? Because, because when you're clear on the why, why you're doing what you're doing, why people should buy your, your offer, the how takes care of itself. We get so stuck on the how, but the truth is information and transformation are too total. Like, all the information is out there. People buy into your journey. When you're vulnerable, it's like you're opening up your jugular and you're like, hey, guys, you can get me right here. Here's where to go. And by you doing that, your audience realizes that. You know where their jugular is as well. And all of a sudden you become the only person for them. If you are ready to lean in to your story and learn how your human design unlocks your paycheck, I actually made the perfect thing for you. It's called my zero-t-t the 40k spiritual business system step by step using human design and school. And if you want to grab it, you can click the link below this episode. And you'll get a seven-day action plan from me and I'll walk you exactly through how you can use your human design to create a business that feels as good as it looks. It is truly the perfect Structure to hold your flow. Remember, people don't remember what you said or how you said it. They remember how you made them feel. We don't just mark it. We remember who the f*** we are. Everything you've lived through has prepared you to lead. And no matter where you are right now, you are not behind. You literally can't be behind. You are just getting started. And babe, your voice, it's about to change lives. I love you so much. I will see you in the next one. Mwah.