Two for the Culture
Two for the Culture is brought to you be Steven Rey and Justin Devonte. This is the podcast for the ages! Both Steve and Justin has been friends for over a decade plus and will give you a genuine approach on news and culture with humor and love. I promise this will be one of your favorite podcasts that you will not get enough of!
Two for the Culture
When Pain Equals Love: The Cost of Deep Connections
We reflect on our day of bar hopping through Nashville and dive into deep relationship discussions about friendship after breakups and the correlation between love and pain.
• Adventures through four Nashville bars including Dino's, Mother's Ruin, Oldies, and Pins Mechanical
• Photo booth memories and discovering new spots in the city
• Whether exes can truly become best friends after a relationship ends
• Boundaries needed when maintaining friendships with former partners
• The "equal love, equal pain theory" – how the intensity of love often matches the intensity of heartbreak
• How self-worth changes relationship dynamics and the willingness to accept certain behaviors
• Personal growth through relationship challenges and becoming more guarded after heartbreak
• Surprising global divorce statistics – with Maldives, Kazakhstan and Russia having higher rates than the US
Check out our Instagram for photo booth pictures from our bar crawl and let us know your thoughts on exes being friends!
and we are back with another episode of two for culture. Uh, I'm justin devante, I'm stephen ray and, yes, sir, we are back. How you feeling? I feel good. I feel really good. I feel good too. We had a pretty good time yesterday just getting out a little bit, yeah bro, that was too fun.
Speaker 2:Like I woke up today I was like I'm happy man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, really yeah no, it was actually cool. Yeah, uh, which picture? Because you took a lot of different phone booths that each we went bar hopping it say, I know I'm probably gonna skip it, so let's just talk about what we did, right. But yeah, so we just, you know, it was a day to where we both have free, because I didn't have to work on Monday. So we went out. Where do we start at? We started at um dino's.
Speaker 2:That was like the burger joint.
Speaker 1:You had the hot chicken right yeah, yeah, you know they people were worried about the burgers. It was cool, it was okay. You know, the fries were really good with the you had a burger sauce on top. Yeah, yeah you had the hot chicken and it was a hot chicken, too hot for you it.
Speaker 2:It wasn't too hot but like I don't know the initial taste hit in my mouth, it definitely like kind of cleared my sinuses okay, and that I.
Speaker 1:That was mild all right, they had a spicy. I knew I wasn't gonna hit the spice.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, so if that was fucking mild, yeah, oh, my god yeah, yeah why even do that to yourself?
Speaker 1:yeah, so we had it was cool, so we went to Dino's.
Speaker 2:Then we went to mother's ruin, yeah yeah, and that was cool got like a couple drinks.
Speaker 1:And then that's when we I went to the second floor and we had the phone booth yeah, and then you like the photo booth, yeah exactly photo booth. My fault, I'm gonna start doing that shit everywhere.
Speaker 2:No, that was actually cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah posted on Instagram and then I was fault. I'm going to start doing that shit everywhere. No, that was actually cool, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you had posted it on Instagram, and then I was like, well, I'm about to do one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I did one. It was cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But they do come quick because you pay before, so it's not like you redo it or see what you done.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And redo another. One picture is always like yeah, it's too quick, and then you take three pictures and that there when I finally noticed to stare at that photo thing and not like myself, oh yeah, so yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 2:Then we went to oldies that was a midtown, oh die so it's a new bar we got.
Speaker 1:Which bar was there before? I think was maybe like rebar or something, and so that's a new bar and it's a new bar.
Speaker 2:I forgot which bar was there before.
Speaker 1:I think it was maybe like Rebar or something, and so that's a new bar. They made it way bigger.
Speaker 2:That's what the old couple was next to us oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went to four places.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Damn, yeah, that last one. Where was that?
Speaker 1:That was Penn's Mechanical.
Speaker 2:That's the spot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you was serving me in the little basketball thing. Yeah, yeah yeah, you call it Beer Pong. It's the big version of Beer Pong. Yeah, it's what it was.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I fucked with that place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, no, penn's Mechanical is cool, but it was inevitably going to be the last place because I was like I might as well drain my battery around town and then go to last place to charge the car. So I always knew well, we may have. Depending how things started, we was probably gonna start at ml rose and I would charge the car there, so we would never went to pins but, but I was like let me make this the last trip yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be cool, yeah, yeah and you, we could have did a lot more.
Speaker 1:It had, you know we yeah, no, that was. That was cool the whole day no, so yeah, yeah, so overall success. You know, I was definitely feeling like I wish I had the hookah thing back at the house, oh yeah yeah, that would have been definitely chilling, I definitely didn't know, yeah. So I just kind of, you know, chilled out for a little bit before I started driving Uber, and then you just kind of relaxed for the rest of the day. Yeah, I got you, I got you.
Speaker 2:All right, that was dope, that was dope. I got to go back to that place.
Speaker 1:Penn's McKenna, penn's Mechanical, penn's Mechanical, that place, pens. Mckenna pens mechanical, pins mechanical yeah, yeah, yeah, go there, go there. Yeah, yeah, no, well, I think they may have another place in another place. You know, that's just not the only place you can uh go to a bar. I think they have like this nationwide thing, I think, oh really I think uh, um, since I'm, I'm going back the only thing they don't serve food.
Speaker 2:They don't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know that's what they.
Speaker 2:They don't even look right, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:They don't even sound right. Exactly Like I think they may have like Hot Pockets or something crazy like that.
Speaker 2:That's kind of dope though.
Speaker 1:What? Because that's why they have the food truck outside too, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:That's kind of makes sense a little bit, not really. All you can do is drink, so you're going to have to basically just spend money and you're not going to sober up. Does that make?
Speaker 1:sense. I think you can make money a grip off food, though, and they have so many tables, yeah, yeah. And then they have bowling and people can eat while they bowl. Right can eat water boy. It just makes so much sense to have food. Yeah, you definitely losing out on money because more people can linger on.
Speaker 2:They eat and drink at the same time it makes more sense to do that I still kind of like that you know that now you have to like make whatever your day is a day like, so we get food here and then we go here like if it's like a date yeah, I mean, I get it's however you want to look at it.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it would make more sense for them to have food there. Yeah, it threw me off when you said it. Absolutely yeah, for sure, um, but no, it was. I had a really good time. So I'm glad you know the kind of stars aligned for us to even have a day to kind of really even enjoy so that was super dope.
Speaker 2:We can really get if you have nothing to add?
Speaker 1:Is there something that's pressing on your mind? Pressing, yeah, what do you mean? Just anything.
Speaker 2:Anything yeah.
Speaker 1:No oh.
Speaker 2:I got you nothing I think of yes for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there's something that uh found interesting, just, you know, seeing people's relationships uh-huh, um, and like even my mom and dad I don't I wouldn't call them good friends, but but they have a good relationship to talk and chill or not chill, just like they can have that.
Speaker 1:They haven't had that in years and they really don't talk to each other. But it just reminds me of the good. Usually, if you're in a long-term relationship and it ends, there's always a friction. That's there and it just sparked a question, even though my mom and dad don't have this relationship because they don't talk Not that they have like any animosity, but could you be in a relationship be?
Speaker 2:in a long term relationship with somebody, then be best friends with them. Afterwards. Best friends Mm, hmm, I'm not sure best friends, but I could be like on the phone, just like kind of cordial, like hey, how are you? You know which has happened. Yeah, I can. I know what you're talking about, though. I mean, I don't know if it's like it could be that close. Because it sounds like they're not that close.
Speaker 1:I mean no, but it could be that and it wouldn't feel weird. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Oh, uh-huh, yeah, but there's some people that I've seen that are like close friends, and maybe it's because they were married before and then they their best friends and maybe there's like some tv show yeah I did hear about, maybe in the past month, that I was scrolling and there was a guy and he was married to his wife for like I don't know 10 I don't know the time frame, but a long time and they broke up and now she's still. Now she's still, she's still to this day like, basically, controls like his money, like his finances okay yeah, so I think, he's not married.
Speaker 1:He's not married yet.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, I'm saying married again, because that would be kind of weird yeah, that would be very strange, that was my only thing too, because I feel like that alone, like being in another relationship, it's automatically going to fuck that up. Well, I think I just don't see women just being okay.
Speaker 1:With another person. Y'all are one, so you're effectively controlling our money.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 1:How could somebody be willing to trust another individual that they was yeah, no, no, I wouldn't be that trusting and I that'd be a stretch to ask for that, yeah, from another person, let alone woman or man you know what I mean. I couldn't yeah, of course. Like hey, my ex-husband controls my finances. Uh-huh, you be like what yeah, you're gonna have to convince me you really gonna have to sell me on this why this makes sense mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I was talking to somebody the other day and she was cooking on Sunday for her family and then she said, yeah, you know my dad's coming and I don't know what my mom's doing. And then I was like, wouldn't they just ride together? She was like, oh no, they're divorced, they're not together. I was like, oh, so they hang out and stuff. I mean sometimes I mean I don't think that if something wasn't bad that you just have to like never see this person again. And she just said it in a way where it was like healthy like it wasn't like any animosity.
Speaker 2:I know you got a wife, um, you got a husband, whatever.
Speaker 1:Like y'all have separate lives, but the friend thing that I was saying, or that you were saying yeah, well, I guess is there anybody that you dated that you could see yourself being best friends with. See when you throw the best on there, yeah, just like, well, okay, you don't have to be on the best friends, yeah, but it can be somebody you are friends with yeah that you can talk. You'll call on and talk to them and get a relationship advice from and yeah, but, you don't got to be like.
Speaker 1:The best is like hey, you know you have to be here. You know because, because you're supporting me and I expect you to be there, you know.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know I don't be like that. Um, yeah, I can see that, I can kind of see that. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I I didn't think that at first, but like after, like the dust settles from any relationship really, and then you just kind of see, like where y'all at, I have um somebody I possibly could be like friends, you know, yeah, I mean I, I think, because I just feel like as soon as you throw in a new situation, that's your day, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, right, and that's understandably so. Like you already had a, you already had a certain dynamic with each other, yeah, and then now a person's coming on that's uncomfortable for that individual.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So I would, if I'm say I'm that best friend for a girl that I did date, I could see how I should be removed from what y'all got going. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, could you do it?
Speaker 1:Could I be friends with somebody I was could you date a girl and she's best friends with her, I mean we're best friends with daddy.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean like like she calls him every time like you had a bad day. I just need to talk to somebody I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess that's okay. It's just when y'all like if y'all are talking about y'all can grab lunch together, I think that's that's fine. But in terms of, hey, y'all are really hanging out at night, that's kind of where my draw line is Just brunch time.
Speaker 2:Huh, they can just hang out at brunch hours.
Speaker 1:As long as y'all are not going to each other's houses and it's not dinner Like brunch, and having lunch with somebody, that should have a good relationship definitely. If it came before me and that's what y'all are doing, that's fine. I think I can live with that. And you said her baby daddy. I mean, you're gonna have to have a relationship with them anyway and there's a lot that you need to discuss and talk about parent wise. Of course, that can be definitely done over the phone, but I can live with that yeah, I mean I mean, and he's uh, and then I would assess, hopefully that he's a good dude.
Speaker 1:Obviously, if you're hanging with him, I would trust your judgment that you hang with somebody that's cool. So if I met him, like he's a cool dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, I totally get why you would want to hang with him. Now, if he's like some hood-ass nigga, I don't even get it.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean yeah, I don't see it. I don't like him, he don't like me. Hold the other thing huh I'm just giving this situation oh, yeah, no I gotta make sense. I'm hood. Niggas can be personable. You know what I mean, but I don't associate with that, you know?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah yeah, I don't know, man. I couldn't imagine being with. I'm trying to put myself into this and then my girl is on the phone with her baby daddy talking about I don't care, I don't know yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean in a person who's friends with like, of course there's going to be a lot of different things, that would be kind of draw the line yeah, going to be a lot of different things. That would be kind of draw the line. Yeah, but that person is coming, is like hey, if he's giving her advice, that is also like kind of checking her in a way. It's like you know you do be tripping when you do this thing and you need to work on that and if you think you're going to keep him, because I think that sometimes manly advice is important- important too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and you're going to somebody who knows you well, then as long as that love it's just love, you know what I mean. It's not like friendly love, then it's not none more. Then I'm okay with that in a certain way.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean just because I know I'm living in the one time to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think this is like a fairytale world we're living in. Yeah, yeah, we're just assuming that she's not going to draw any feelings you know, I mean, I think this is a really fancy world to say I'm saying. That's why you got to sell it on me yeah, I had just a quick story.
Speaker 2:I was, I was dating this girl and she broke up with me for like a random reason, because we got back together like the next day or some shit. So she just like crashed out, basically, and just broke up with me. And then, yeah, later I found out, in the 24, 24 hour period of us breaking up, she invited her ex over to her house to talk about what you just said about, like what's wrong with me? Like you know, I really like him. I literally talking about me the whole time.
Speaker 2:And then she said that he left mad and I'm like what did you think was going to happen? He left mad because I'm like what did you think was gonna happen? He left mad cuz she invited him over oh. I mean 2 am yeah and yeah, and they had that conversation. So there are people out there that will do that just like. Hey, like what's wrong with me? Like what's what am I doing wrong? What could I do better? Yeah and yeah, I don't trust niggas.
Speaker 1:I mean what did? He wasn't a friend of hers.
Speaker 2:I think maybe she was looking for that but see, that's not saying yeah. I'm just saying like that reminded me of how else that could go.
Speaker 1:Yeah See, I just prayed that my girlfriend has more self-awareness than that. So, you invite somebody at 2 am and you didn't you know. I mean, at bare minimum, let them know what's happening, right? Yeah, that's something you have a phone conversation with, at minimum, and if you need to get it out, then I can maybe somewhat understand a call. So I don't fault her for trying to get an understanding of what she's doing wrong.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, but it was the person that you didn't really communicate well with him so he could know what's happening no, she told like I said niggas, just gonna be niggas I mean, if I get invited over and you want to talk about love all right, I'm pulling, so why is he mad then?
Speaker 2:probably because he ain't getting her.
Speaker 1:No, so who? You mad at yourself, she told you while you're coming in. If, if, if somebody says hey, I need help moving. Yeah, you're like bro you. If somebody says hey, I need help moving, yeah, you know, like bro, you didn't throw me no pussy, though he's like. I told you I need help moving, you know? Yeah, that's on you to be mad at yourself?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, for sure For sure, I was just, I was just it just reminded me of that one moment and I was just like bro, but what the fuck?
Speaker 1:was that. But yeah, so. But I think that that actually is a good step in the right direction if, when she did that, at least at that moment you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:I guess she kept tripping after that. I said at that moment yeah, yeah, yes so she didn't.
Speaker 1:She tried so, but not only that. He ain't gonna give good advice because he ain't trying to. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I think you should do this next time he's trying to have sex, so he's probably going to tell you you did everything right oh, yeah, yeah yeah, so he's giving bad advice because he's not coming with the right intentions oh god, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:His whole intention is like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So he's like whatever allows me the easiest access so I'm gonna give you you know I'm gonna be a yes man in this situation yeah so that that yeah, but yeah, I, I do commend if she's willing to say hey, okay, I've recognized and this is an issue, and this you're not this. You're the second person that reacted in this way. Maybe it's in me, so let me go back to the original source I can see where she was coming from, and that was that's.
Speaker 1:I give her, at least at the moment, to be props now who she should. She should have known who he was. But I mean, whatever happened at that moment I can see. Uh, I, I don't follow her. I guess it's at the end of the day I had a question too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, relationships, do you think, and this was the same, it's with the same girl that. I had, um, that I thought about this um, or or one of the many uh relationships that I was in that I thought about do you feel like? Do you feel like, when you're with someone, the intensity of love, the level of love that is poured into the relationship? Do you think that one day that's gonna match the intensity of pain in the relationship?
Speaker 2:because I thought about it with that girl and I was talking to you about it one day and I was saying how quickly we got together, how fast we moved to get together, was exactly how fast that shit ended yeah and I thought about that too in another relationship of mine of like how long the long term relationship that I had like with her, she like, and how long that was and how much love was poured into it and all that. And I was fucked at the end of that, like couldn't even breath. So then I thought about, like I wonder if the amount of love that you put into something one day that I don't know that's a pessimistic way of looking at it, but I wonder if that's true, okay.
Speaker 1:so, because you said a little, a lot, okay, okay. So give me the question one more time.
Speaker 2:Do you think that the amount of love that you pour into a relationship, like the level of it do you think in that same relationship, one day pain is going to match that same intensity of?
Speaker 1:love. I think that it can definitely. It definitely can for sure, yeah, I mean like does, is it, is it?
Speaker 2:is it a two-in-one package in everything, every relationship? I mean think about all your relationships and like how much you love just this and then like the end of it yeah, I think it was.
Speaker 1:I think the more you love them yeah, I think it's. Yeah, I think there's an equal opposite reaction level to it. A little yeah and um yeah, because if you love so much and then you're separating from the person you love, then that's going to equal that pain.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, because you, you're mad that you gotta let that person go, that that person, but you know, broke your heart, you know, yeah, so this. So I think that all that comes with each other. Hopefully it doesn't get to that point and y'all, you know y'all get married and further the relationship. But if it breaks up, it's not going to be like an oh well feeling, not if you truly love that person you want to see yourself with, yeah, but also you can also have that love. Then it's also like and I know I didn't follow this, but I know that it can exist.
Speaker 1:So what I was about to this? But I know that it can exist. So what I was about to say, or what I am saying, is, when you love somebody, there is like my last one I've only been to a relationship the one I'm in now and the last one, so the one previous to it it was like, all right, I can see why this will not work out. Yeah, yeah, I was like we're just too different. There's a lot of things in your life that you have strife in um, but I ignored them.
Speaker 1:So what and what? I'm saying? That, too, there is the opposite side of to where I could have been like phased that out over over time and be like all right, yeah, I need to come up with an exit plan because this ain't going to work. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And then that's like let me ease my heart. I'm not saying this ain't me because I don't think I really have that emotional control to that degree, at least in my, in my mind. Now there is a more control that I maybe not let you see. Yeah, yeah, like he looks unfazed by this, but actually I'm, but I'll deal that in my mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, back then I was very much led with my sleeve, for sure, but yeah, yeah, so but I think that if you truly love a person, that there's not that pain is going to equal that love that you have for her. And then we, for me, I get guarded and I get kind of hardened into it. So it's harder for you to get more accepting of that love yeah, into it. So it's harder for you to get more accepting of that love yeah, yeah, and because I may treat you as equal as that last relationship, but because that's fairness, I don't want to take that away from anybody but it's more accepting and be more um, uh, controlling of how your most, how how you act, makes me react. Am I making sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, you're giving yourself more. So the power versus love itself, exactly.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful. That's exactly what I was trying to say in all that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, To where it's like all right. I still may be heartbroken to a degree, but I'm not going to be overreactive. I understand how this goes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah all right, yeah, that scares me a little bit sometimes.
Speaker 2:I mean, I haven't been well, I guess, like today now, uh, myself now today it kind of scares me a little bit, like if I start liking a girl and then like when the love starts happening liking a girl and then, like, when the love shit starts happening, I I do, well, it hasn't happened yet, but uh, when I, when I look forward like in the future and shit, um, yeah, it does kind of like it's like a small little thing in my head, just like, damn, like the more that I like this person, like something. I mean, even if you're married whatever, even if, even if you, you stay with this person until like death, I feel like that love something's gonna happen to where, like, it's gonna be the same intense, uh, the same intensity of how it is is to add to my point, is I over the last it's 2025.
Speaker 1:So over the last two years I hold myself to a higher regard than I ever have before, like I was, and not to say I don't have insecurities now, but I had a lot more than have insecurities now, but I had a lot more than yeah to where that? You know, I felt that, even though I now looking at, I brought a ton, a lot to the table, but I, I was the cat, you know, she was a catch more than I was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, so, yeah, so that, so the leverage was felt, I felt like in my mind, even though uh everybody else may have seen different in my mind that I was definitely she was already catching me and she had more of that leverage.
Speaker 2:I get that.
Speaker 1:And so now I feel more as like that does change things actually.
Speaker 2:I do remember feeling that before.
Speaker 1:Damn.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it changed the shit.
Speaker 1:Because now I'll be like I know absolutely I'm not for everybody and so I always state that I want to be clear on that. But also I know I see, now that I got experience, I see how other people date too, and I was like, hey, there's a lot of things I don't have, but there's a lot of things I don't have, but there's a lot of things I do have and you ain't just gonna get me everywhere.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, it's, I'm not that easy to replace for real oh, yeah, yeah yeah, so you can do it if you want, but I know how many people will be happy with being a partner who have the same attributes as me that's, that's fact so what about you? Uh, in terms of the, uh, the, the love to pain, equalness of it do you? Feel that same way, or do you feel?
Speaker 2:I feel like it might be a two-in-one thing, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think of every relationship that I've been in and the ones where it was like real love there.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:It was, the more it like they. I'm the same near amount of pain. Yeah, yeah, somewhere in there yeah, how?
Speaker 1:what's your perspective on it? I feel like you're not as traumatized as I am or your past relationship like like, oh, like never gonna date anybody with no, no, I don't think that's what I I do, but I feel like I'm hardened to a certain degree. You know, I feel like you're, you're very, you know, and I'm, I'm cautious, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, um, but I feel like you don't have that same PTSD in that way.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I just feel like I really don't know how to answer that Ask me, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, I'll be more specific and not compare us to. Is that? What I'm saying? Is I feel like you should be more hard in giving your past relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then is, I feel like you should be more hard in giving your past relationships yeah yeah, then what I feel, like you are um, I think, I think now it's a little different. Um, just because of literally like my last relationship, like that just taught me a lot. I was just thrown off by like how well she was treating me. I was like I'm just let this slide, I'm gonna let this slide. And then eventually it was like okay, this is exactly what I did before, or it was, it was.
Speaker 2:It was totally different, different circumstances situations of course but, um, nah, now I'm like really like I could just see what's going to happen, or I could see like, oh shit, if I let this slide, if I let that slide. Now, in relationships like moving forward, my main thing is holding the frame, like of the relationship, I guess. So it's not necessarily PTSD, because I just feel like everybody is different and I don't know. I just got this thing of like I got a lot of shit that I need to improve on for myself.
Speaker 2:So me today and me five years from now, something's going to be different in terms of growth. So like, if I'm just super hard on somebody, not saying like I just let them do anything, but I don't think everybody's perfect, so but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not trying to like be into something again to where it feels like past relationships.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like I'm too hard in my relationship?
Speaker 2:Yes, Okay, yeah, yeah, that I understand.
Speaker 1:Okay, I was like I see what he's saying, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I wasn't no-transcript. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah's very respectable, but um, yeah, sometimes it's just like I don't understand say what, so I broke up with no, I, I definitely never just told me a story like no, oh, I know what story you're talking about, because I only broke up one time.
Speaker 2:It's not like I just be breaking up no, I'm saying really nearly like that no, no, no no, I.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, the story, yeah, so it was just like hey, I have a boundary and I, I choose peace over that. So if you're giving me more strife, then then that's, that's an issue, and you go over the boundary that I told you not to go over, so that. So that's completely, and that's the only time I've ever did that.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about moments where you would have an argument and then you were like alright, bet, we ain't sharing locations no more. You're just like take that away. I'm just saying it's something.
Speaker 1:If I did that, then I was tripping. You know what I mean. I don't even know the circumstance you're speaking on Bruh.
Speaker 2:You said something happened and then the girl was mad at you for something, or it was something dealing with a time frame or when something was supposed to happen, and then y'all had a back and forth and then you were like all right, I'm just going to turn my location off, you ain't going to know where I'm at, I ain't going to know where you at, and like, I don't know bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I'm like it was just an argument.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you can re-give me the story off camera, because I don't maybe I said that to say it, but I didn't do it. Yes, you did okay well, I'm, I'm.
Speaker 2:I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to find out what. What it makes sense, because I've only I've, I maybe did that like twice, like, and I don't care that. The two reasons doesn't sound like that, was it okay? Yeah yeah, yeah, so um but not the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah you know, I I think that I can be tough on in general. Yeah, I make and this is actually. I said this to her yesterday and it was speaking, she was a part of the thing, but it wasn't like just about her, it was talking about me, like I put everybody else first and I choose me last. Yeah, so there's a level of things I feel like I can get away with. And I told her I'm not saying this is right, but this is how I feel and I know it's wrong, but I was like there's things that I can do or get away with because I know I'm.
Speaker 1:There's nobody that can tell me that Justin is an absolute selfish person. Am I? Can I do selfish things at times? Yes, but those are rare times, but I always put people before myself, and so when I do that, there's things that I may be less willing to budge on, because I know how many times I made sure you were straight over me. Yeah, so I'm so, in a way, I try to, and it could be very transactional, it could be period away, but there's things that I'm willing and willing not to accept. Yeah, and I can be very tough in situations, because if I am working more to make sure you're straight then there's less grace on your half.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, that's so. That's just kind of how it works in my head. I know there's a level of wrong in that. I know that's right in that too, but there's wrong in that as well, and I need to be more better on presenting. That is so. I do agree that I can be too tough sometimes.
Speaker 2:Sprinkle it out.
Speaker 1:But I knew that's what the answer you was going to give. I'll be surprised if you're like, nah, you ain't tough. I'll be like, oh really.
Speaker 2:I can't go harder oh shit.
Speaker 1:Now I can get the whips and chains out.
Speaker 2:We're over. Nah, nah, the whips and chains out.
Speaker 1:We're all right on time. I got a game. Do you got a game?
Speaker 2:I have one, but you're going to win. Oh God, we can do it.
Speaker 1:This one's supposed to be fun, because this one is going to be tough. There's no way you're going to get this shit right. All right, yeah, because I you know I had the question already in line, but I never really looked up the answers. And then when, because I thought I was I thought you know that. Well, let me give the game well, let me do mine first okay, that sounds more interesting.
Speaker 2:Okay, so, uh, there's a list, uh in the us of um, of where, like uh, ranked like the, the top 10 cities with the most beautiful women okay and I was just going to ask you can you give me five that's on that list, the top 10 cities, yeah I have most of them in my new york.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, um los angeles, yes, well, I mean, I'm just naming the bigger cities.
Speaker 2:I know, this is what I thought about it after I'm like you know what, but all right chicago yes okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So that's three atlanta, yes, boston, boston, no, I don't think so. San Francisco, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Did you know Nashville was on there? Oh no, I didn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like on multiple different lists. Okay, nashville was on there.
Speaker 1:I wasn't even going to say Nashville. Yeah, most beautiful girls in the country. Okay, was Memphis on there? That was. That sounded a little shady just giving my history about. I actually think that I mean and maybe it's more of a black woman thing. They y'all got one of the most beautiful women black women there is. I just think so in general, like now when I went to cordoba high school I was like oh yeah, cordoba, yeah there was a just a lot of beautiful black women, yeah yeah, it was just yeah.
Speaker 2:Those schools, those on the outskirts, yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's just the reason why I said that uh-huh and yeah, but then of course you know it's majority white country.
Speaker 2:So that just makes sense. Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Without Nashville? Yeah, exactly. Exactly, and what you're going to find attractive is really what I'm saying, because you're looking through white people's lens. So, they're not going to say Memphis. So I was just really kind of they're not, you know what I mean yeah, so mine is of that list.
Speaker 1:This is actually Let me just give the game. So this is the top five countries With the highest divorce rates, and I'm going to help you out a little bit. But it's just going to be a little guess Whatever country you're thinking about, it's not it? Yeah, yeah, so I thought, so I'm going to give you one that's not on. Yeah, yeah, so I thought, you know, I just so I'm gonna give you one that's not on the list. United states is not on the list that was my first one, yeah exactly, then that's actually.
Speaker 1:I was shocked yeah, for real though yeah, um, so this is per 1000, and so it's based on most recent global data from 2021 through 2023 where do people go to cheat? I'm gonna go with divorce I don't think you're gonna get one of these damn you know these you? Know some of these countries, but you're not gonna get it.
Speaker 2:And I'll help you out Spain.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:London.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Is it somewhere in the UK? No, yeah.
Speaker 1:Then it'll be UK on those or England. So you said a city.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not the greatest at that.
Speaker 1:So there's nowhere in North America.
Speaker 2:Nowhere in North America, mexico, that's it.
Speaker 1:That's North America, north or South America. How about that?
Speaker 2:Hmm, I'm going to start throwing shit out there. Tokyo.
Speaker 1:That's the city, but you're still wrong. It's not Japan, it's not even Asia I mean, asian-ist is one of them, but they're more central europe mostly. But it's actually kind of tough a little bit. Uh, give you one. Um, I'm gonna give you this one because you're not gonna guess it.
Speaker 2:Kazakhstan why did I know you was gonna say that really, oh god, what the fuck. I should have said that um that's number two in the world.
Speaker 1:Pakistan that's the only stand you got on the list. Afghanistan was next um uh, thailand no uh, thailand, no, no Asian country, like that shit. Greenland nah, I feel like you're out of guesses. I think I'm out of guesses. So number one is Maldives. Yeah, how would you ever have guessed that? And that's just consistently the highest worldwide, so it's like unanimous and it's leading. Kazakhstan is number two, russia is number three, belarus is number four, belgium is number five. Where's Belarus? It's up there in like, like close to Russia, I think.
Speaker 1:Belgium is like the midpoint between Germany, germany, france or something like that it's in that whole Central Europe. So the reason why I divorce while Maldives is like number one, divorce is legally simple, simple and affordable. Yeah, so social acceptance is high, so it's just like regular divorce is fine it's easy, yeah, exactly. Kazakhstan and other former Soviet states like Russia and Moldova, is no-fault divorce laws evolving social norms and economic pressures. That's very vague, and Belgium and other Western European countries, as financial independence and gender equality contribute to easier dissolution of marriage.
Speaker 2:Socially accepted. Yeah, yeah, so it ain't even know like um. You know how the the phrase is cheaper to keep her yeah they don't even go through this, yeah exactly so, even with united states.
Speaker 1:So this is like three percent. Uh, maldives is 5.52 per 1000. Uh, united States is 2.7 to 2.8 per 1,000. So it's significantly lower than a lot of these countries, just because it's extremely expensive to get divorced here. Yeah, yeah, so that's kind of really why we're actually lower. Because we're actually lower than China.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, china is 3.2. China is more strict. Yeah, exactly With, really yeah, china's 3.2.
Speaker 2:With everything. No, I didn't know that?
Speaker 1:That was cool.
Speaker 2:That was a good game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, really good. I think we can kind of wrap it up here yeah. Hold on. There's one thing we actually didn't talk about. We can finish here. I wanted your take on uh be simone uh huh.
Speaker 2:I just saw a post of her response of um, the conversation that she had with her friend, and in the response it said watch the whole thing. But um, and in response it said watch the whole thing. But I've been seeing so many memes of like other people doing it. It's too funny. It's just like there was one with this girl and she was like she was like yeah, and then my car broke down and the other girl was like Jesus, I lost my house and my Jesus. That was too funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that definitely the internet gives her no grace. Oh yeah, no, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:That was the perfect thing for her online presence. Yeah, for people to just tag on to something, yeah, but what do I think about it? Um, I I from the clip, from the, from the clip alone. Clearly, I did not watch the whole thing right, but the clip that is being circulated around viciously, um, it just sounds like. It just sounds like it painted the picture of making her look like she was just thinking about herself or you know, like this, this, this person that like I don't know that, that that can come off as like jealous about not having, because it was, it was a two-part thing. Right, it was like the girl ended up having some type of success or whatever, and then be Simone was like she, she wished it. You know, it was both of them instead of just her.
Speaker 1:I never saw that clip. The one that I was saying she was not giving no grace for was her choosing H&M over Bloomingdale's because she was broke. What, yeah, that's the one.
Speaker 2:What you talking about B Simone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was like I'm giving a general statement. That's not what she said. She wasn't saying I'm broke, but she was like she didn't have the same affordability as she has in the past you talking about the friend?
Speaker 1:no, b Simone saying that like hey, I was looking at Bloomingdale's and I was looking at the price of Bloomingdale's and like damn, we're gonna have to go to H&M. You didn't see that video? Okay, well, we'll. I think we just need to brush go to H&M. You didn't see that video? Uh-uh, okay, well, I think we just need to branch upon it and we're going to keep this conversation for next week. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:You don't know about the friend and like basically telling her about how her life was terrible and then she was friends with B Simone.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:And she was listing all these things and then he smokes like wow, like like clearly she could have helped her.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh no.
Speaker 2:I have to see that. No, that's literally what.
Speaker 1:That's not what I've been seeing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe, yeah.
Speaker 1:And this sounds like it's the same podcast. Yeah, yeah, maybe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, we got some things to brush up on, because I have a separate conversation.
Speaker 1:This sounds like it's the same podcast but yeah, yeah, maybe I don't know, yeah, yeah, well, we got some things to brush up on, because I have a separate conversation versus yours. And we're going to just save it for next week. Yeah, we can do that, all right, for sure. Well, this is Justin Devante and Steve. Ray All right, we two for the culture. We'll see y'all.
Speaker 2:Peace.