Two for the Culture
Two for the Culture is brought to you be Steven Rey and Justin Devonte. This is the podcast for the ages! Both Steve and Justin has been friends for over a decade plus and will give you a genuine approach on news and culture with humor and love. I promise this will be one of your favorite podcasts that you will not get enough of!
Two for the Culture
Black Men Unfiltered
Justin and Steven have a raw, unfiltered conversation about relationships, personal growth, and finding authentic connections in today's world.
• Both hosts share their "death row meal" choices, revealing their personal food preferences
• They discuss what attributes they would take from past relationships to create an ideal partner
• Steven explains how jealousy often stems from personal insecurity rather than actual threats
• The conversation explores why some relationships don't work despite strong initial connections
• They debate the pros and cons of public versus private relationships in the social media age
• Both hosts reflect on maintaining authenticity when personal relationships become content
• Steven shares why creative expression remains essential to his happiness regardless of other opportunities
Follow us on social media @TwoForTheCulture and share your thoughts on today's episode.
And we are back with another episode of Two for the Culture. I'm Justin Devante, I'm Steven Ray. Yes, sir, we are back. How you feeling Feel good man, Feel good.
Speaker 2:What's new? I didn't really do too much last week.
Speaker 1:You got, you just on your workout grind.
Speaker 2:I just got back, I just got back I just got back so I really fasted for real last week. I was like only on fruits and vegetables and how was that easy? Exhausting okay yeah, after a while I was just like man this. And then, uh, then I went straight to Taco Bell and pizza. On Sunday I woke up. My face was a little swollen. I enjoyed that. After you eat something bad.
Speaker 1:What's your pizza choice? Pepperoni Okay, just pepperoni cheese. No.
Speaker 2:My favorite type of pizza is Pineapple. Nah, people be sitting on the pineapple.
Speaker 1:I know, I don't know why.
Speaker 2:But my favorite is flatbread, no thin crust, with pepperoni and diced tomatoes.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's my favorite. Okay interesting, but I didn't get that.
Speaker 2:I just got the regular degular, you know for Domino's. Okay, so I think it was Domino's, I don't even care.
Speaker 1:So what is if you was on death row? What is your executioner meal, your last meal? My last meal yes, I'll give you mine and I'll let you choose. Okay, so I'm going, I'm definitely going. Fried chicken, some good fried chicken, beef ribs, sweet potatoes, mac and cheese.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like who cares if it fucks up your stomach?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean exactly, exactly, a hundred percent. Okay, I'll take that out. Yeah, and then I'm goings up your stomach.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean exactly, Exactly A hundred percent. Okay, if I take that out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then I'm going. Oh, you was going some healthy, no you was going garden salad.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely going peach cobbler.
Speaker 2:Peach cobbler. I don't know Now that we're going that route. Ribs would be grounding. Remember the last time I had ribs? I'm going to go the I don't need to move it, still as good as it once was. But I really used to love chicken Alfredo, like the fettuccine with the broccoli and all that stuff in it, maybe some spices in there. They used to be really good.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely throwing a crab cake in mine, though a crab cake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know man, I think straight up that thanksgiving meal pretty much does it, you're right, yeah, yeah, like I want to throw some extra like shrimp etouffee on mine. That yeah shrimp and grits just came to mind. Oh okay, yeah, there's some shrimp and grits at frothy monkey it's just amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it makes me like I do want to go back, though, but every time being you ever like? No, I'm good, yeah, I'm like dang, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's totally different now that I have like coffee here and you know I make the breakfast that I would get there, but it is definitely a great vibe there in front of you. I do miss it. I thought about that this week. I went to this coffee shop up here it was dope. It was dope. I'm a right there or I'm gonna work sometimes there. It's got a, it's got a nice vibe. It's not as lit inside of it like property monkeys is like straight Sun, so straight Sun yes, unlike, oh, like lit.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's not lit up. I thought you saw my like in terms of people like the traffic is not as good, mmm, so the traffic is good mm-hmm, it's about bashing okay, yeah, americano, mm-hmm, that's the name of the place.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I didn't know it was a coffee shop. I thought that was just like a bar. It is, it's a bar too.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, so you can do that, but I just went there to work. Yeah, it was a dope vibe. I got the latte, the same thing that I got at the other place.
Speaker 1:It tasted very similar, so they got like a couple of small plates or whatever. So is there a place you want to go to before you die Like?
Speaker 2:a country you want to visit, a site you want to see. I always thought London, but now it's kind of like I don't know it's kind of.
Speaker 3:It's kind of fading a little bit in terms of amount of um, that feeling of me wanting to go there. You know that clearly because of the accent, it just I just want to be around it and hear it, but I always hear how gloomy it is there and how like it's, not like an uplifting feeling I do hear that a lot.
Speaker 2:So um other than london, not really. I think my fear of flying pretty much got rid of that. For me, just like you know, usually a place like where would you want to go? I'm assuming it's overseas somewhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, south africa I want to go to in greece. I want to go to in Greece, I want to go to.
Speaker 2:I hear a lot about South Africa. Yeah, they get it popping down there so yeah, three last relationships.
Speaker 1:If you can take one attribute from the last three and make it into one person, what would those three attributes be?
Speaker 2:one from each.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I wonder if they're watching this. They'd be like, oh, which one is it? That's a good one, okay, hmm, all right, so one of them, three attributes, the most recent, I'll go. I don't want to say I'm a. Scramble them up, scramble them up in my head, yeah, so if they see it, then they're like they're going to know who they are but I'll say from one person, it was like a package deal, it was like. It was like a person who, who wanted to be a wife that was super cool and cool to experience.
Speaker 2:A lot goes into that, a lot, a lot of being seen and understanding like love languages to a different level just because, like they want to be a wife, I'll say that another one is someone who enjoys life and loves to laugh Like a funny girl is so cool. Like that's way rarer than what I thought. Like somebody who, like a girl who actually makes you like laugh out loud, that's like that's not, that's not as common, um, and what was the relationship before that? Just simply being like a good person, and a lot goes into that too. You can be fucked up if you want to, but you just choose to like be your better self and yeah, that's that's really cool to be on the opposite end of those now, do you think those three attributes?
Speaker 1:would that be like a superwoman to you? It's always something wrong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got you right, so that you know that that's just the way I think. I mean, I don't know if it's the perfect way to think, but I feel like, even if I get quote a perfect woman, it's going to be something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's always. I mean, there's two different brands two different experiences.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what about you? I don't have that many relationships, I sure had to think back on mine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So if you could take two things, yeah, two things I would say, so I have to go through the relationship I'm in now.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, you put it out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I didn't put it out.
Speaker 3:Mine was towards you, yeah, so the one I'm in now is like the I was towards you, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the one I'm in now is like the love intensity, you can kind of cut it with a knife. You know how much she does desire to be in a relationship and I think that's very strong. And my one, that one, it's hard to remember. There was a lot of things, as much as I feel, like you, there's some toxic and things that she did wrong, um. There's some things that she did right, um, and I think she was thoughtful. I think she was.
Speaker 1:She was a thoughtful person yeah for sure, um, and a lot of those, like you know, she, she was intense, yeah, she, she loved her too and, you know, was willing to fight for me in a lot of ways, but, um, but yeah, I would say she was thoughtful, in, in, in her own way. Now, of course, how thoughtful can you be? You know what I mean. And this thoughtful and loyal all mesh into, is it the same thing? Not really.
Speaker 2:I guess yeah, you pulled from another girl with that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:But yeah, she was, I think yeah, thoughtful was the best way I can describe it. That's tough. That's tough up from what I can remember. I'm sure there's something other than that, but yeah, that was, that was a good one.
Speaker 3:That was a good question yeah, they counted me off.
Speaker 1:It's like one attribute yeah, because I mean, I think that, like it's easy for us to when we look back at our relationships at the worst of them, because it didn't always end great, but then there was some things that you could have latched onto, that she had, that maybe another person didn't.
Speaker 2:I try to counter that. I try to do that or try to catch myself. Anytime I have done that or it starts to go a little left, I do try to counter that with how much did. I actually love this person. Be for real.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:This shit wasn't all bad. That's pretty dope.
Speaker 1:If I'm thinking about the same three that you named. You loved them all oh yeah, yeah, and you know I think you would work if it was on you for the for y'all to see it through there you know, I think you and your.
Speaker 2:You wanted to see that through yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is that is something yeah uh, I I wonder like how that's going to. You know, I think we talked about it before it's like the the, the more that we evolve, it's like the less tolerance for certain things, you know. So there are moments where I was like overly committed. I don't know if I can like do that anymore overly committed overly committed, like this is a sinking ship.
Speaker 2:But like I, I told myself I'm gonna stay with you. So I'm gonna stay with you like overly committed okay, now if I have, if I put a ring on a girl's finger, then like that's, that's kind of different. I feel like that is that's literally commitment, that's what right yeah, absolutely so.
Speaker 1:Um so what if you see the ship sinking? Mm-hmm but she still wants to stay on the ship. Are you going to be the person to break it up?
Speaker 2:you stay on the ship. They got some boats on the side that I could do some rafts, yeah, I got you.
Speaker 1:I'm taking swimming class yeah, I'm just saying are you ready, if she's not yet, to decommit and make that split? But you are wanting to, are you going to like? So you're coming up with the breakup, you're not doing this, this and this, and I just don't think you're for me. And she's like yes, I am, I want to be here, I want to stay, I want to make it work.
Speaker 1:I mean, if she uh excuse me chooses to like want to be better or to be better. She wants to make it work. Being better isn't a part of it, she just wants to make it work, oh, but it's still like not working like you're not making those improvements, oh yeah, yeah, do you think you? Have this the, the will and the strength to break up. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Okay. Yes, now I do, okay yeah.
Speaker 1:Seeing tears and her crying and her texting.
Speaker 2:Because you love her, you just know it's not going to work. Yeah, if I love her, that's I can't. I just can't do it to myself again. It's bigger than her. That's going to be hard, but I've just seen it multiple times, like, if this shit ain't working, I'm trying to sit here and talk to you and figure out how I can talk to you, figure out how to do this conversation. Whatever we're not getting better. It usually doesn't end well. So either she's crying and all this stuff. Now I done seen how many girls I done been with cry. I want to make this work, bro. They do some fucked up shit somewhere in there, like after all them tears, so those tears don't that shit is a temporary feeling, in a way.
Speaker 3:You know, all feelings are temporary in a way, but um I can't.
Speaker 2:I don't judge women off that you know, or the relationship off of you just crying right now.
Speaker 1:That's it. But I mean, I feel like I mean you're saying that in the conversation, but it's hard for you to not well want anybody to not feel bad yeah yeah and um I.
Speaker 2:I just don't see you like right, no, you know I ain't saying it's gonna go there if the the, the relationship is strong in its own right, but it's just like not working. Yeah, it's gonna be difficult, but I've seen like if I go through something with someone and there's, even if we try, it's still not improving, I can't be miserable like I can't do that. I've been in places like that. We gonna start resenting each other and it's not gonna play out right you know, unless there is, you actually are trying, then I I'll always see it, you know um, but yeah, I just don't.
Speaker 2:I don't see myself staying in something like that. Just really, based off of the past few relationships that I've had, is it just don't go well bro and then I end up like losing bits and pieces of myself and I I feel like I have. I have now, um reached a new place in my life of figuring out like who I am, like what I need to be happy, and like this, this, that and the other, and to get here and then to invite somebody in to my space and then what like? That's not.
Speaker 1:That's not saying like happiness to me, that's not sounding like a lot of happy days and I'm gonna resent you for that, like after a certain point so do you think that your last two exes that if you went to the bar and they just happened to be at the bar, that you can like pay them no, never mind? Or do you feel like I want to actively strike a conversation?
Speaker 2:I think it'd be inevitable To feel like you know, let me say something. You know I'm not in, I'm not on bad terms with anybody.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying, not just say something. An active conversation, a discussion Like how are you? No, I want to talk, like I'm just saying Do you think there would be Like an emotional, like I want to talk to you? I don't want to just be like, hey, you're good, yeah, I'm good. Like the last time I saw my my ex-girlfriend the one that you know that we were to call together I said, hey, how are you? Hug goodbye uh-huh there, I didn't care to have a conversation yeah yeah, but I'm saying for you, it's not just more than that.
Speaker 1:Hey, what's up, you know it's and shake up with somebody I mean the the picture you just painted.
Speaker 2:It's like if I'm at a bar and they're at the like we're here that's exactly.
Speaker 1:I was at a bar too and I'm saying I just hugged her and walked away and I was like actually I'm gonna leave, it's just yeah, um I don't know.
Speaker 2:I mean, in my head I don't really see a bad conversation happen. I don't talk to either of them. It's been like a long time since I've talked to either of them, so there would be something to talk about you know and, like I said, we don't hate each other. We all got nice personality.
Speaker 1:Nobody standoffish yeah, and I agree, I don't hate the other person. I wish them well, but it just wasn't like I didn't feel anything to have a discussion, to say yeah I think I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think if there was an excess in speaking I could get to that point. I've seen that, um, like catching up with an ex. And then I just remember one day the last conversation I had with one of them it was like we were running out of stuff to say it never happened before. I was like, oh wow, like we're actually like moved on. We actually don't. I don't even like I, I don't know, I'm not even coming up. You know how, like you can have a flow of a conversation with somebody for hours and hours, but all of a sudden you don't even know what to even think about, the next thing to say and all that. So I felt like if it was an excessive conversation, then I would probably end up being like that, like all right, I'm out of here, bye, but I think it would just be a normal conversation. Yeah, I ain't at the point where I'm like, hey, bye.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been like a long-ass time so like how you been what you been doing. Oh, that's dope, yeah right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I got you. Yeah, that's understandable. No, I'm just curious. I feel like sometimes you I'm sure there was a point in my life to where I wanted to have a discussion. Oh yeah, I want to know how they're doing.
Speaker 1:It's not just to make conversation, it's just because they're there and not to make it awkward, like hey, what's going on? Just to be curious on your life. But for me now it's like, yeah, I hope you're doing well. I don't wish ill on you, but I don't really care to have a discussion Now. If we was the only people at the bar, then I'm going to talk to you, but otherwise I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really just the positioning of the situation. I can also see that too, like I'm heading out and then I see them.
Speaker 3:I'm like yo hey awkward.
Speaker 2:You know that could be a high buy situation as well, but yeah you know it's all good. There were times, though, like I just want to have a little discussion.
Speaker 1:I remember feeling like that but thank God for better days I got you. Do you think that? I mean, I feel like the answer is going to be yes, but I'll just ask the question Do you think that you? Do you see yourself making the same mistake twice come to your previous relationships? Like do you know more of what to look for in a woman? Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:No, it's just like, like in those past relationships, you know that thought of convincing yourself like the grass is greener, when, like you could literally see it, you could see exactly what's up front, what you're getting, and I can only assume it's the same way. That's being reflected for me as well. But that stuff, it just didn't lead me down a path of uh, like I said, going back to what I was saying earlier about how I'm affected, like seeing me be affected by certain people when I knew damn well in the beginning or throughout this process, like these things will pop up. Like I'm not really on the path of, like I said, trying to be overly committed with anybody anymore. You know, it's like, cause I see what that does to me and I don't like that shit.
Speaker 2:I don't, like, you know, certain situations I've been in, that she was in the back of my head for a long ass time. It felt like a disease, like it felt like I don't know, like I needed surgery or some shit to get these, this negative shit out of my head. But I knew I was the one who put myself there. So it's like going through stuff like that and realizing that, yeah, they could be this Because, like you know, out of everybody that you're with, there's certain aspects that's in them that's not in like other people. So some part of them usually shines and then you see that part, you're like damn, like they're so good at this, but this shit right here just really fucks with me. Um, and yeah, I learned that a lot about. Uh, in those, in those relationships, and the only person that really end up losing is me, for real well, I mean both of us do in our own ways, but in my truth, like that's what happens.
Speaker 2:So I don't see myself. I don't see the only way I would be like in something. I'm like man she tripping, I'm going to keep trying, keep trying. Keep trying is like a ring on the finger. Yeah, that would be the only way that I could see myself like be the the only way that I could see myself like trying to fight through the thoughts of we should break up. Yeah, I got you, yeah, so it wouldn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I get what you're saying but nah, um, yeah, so if you was to meet a girl, exchange your numbers today and, um, well, I guess let me not speak for you. And is it easy for you to do it one night stand? Is that like if she was down for it, you're down for it right, that's.
Speaker 2:I don't think I've ever done that, but I could only assume that is a case byby-case basis, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay. So I'm not saying I'm just out here like that but maybe it's a perfect day.
Speaker 3:I'll meet you at a coffee shop at 12 am.
Speaker 2:I mean pm, and then we end up having a whole day.
Speaker 1:I don't know you, having that one night stand with that person does not um discount her for, uh, putting a ring on her in the future. I don't think it does, okay, I don't think it does.
Speaker 2:I've seen friends be with like they had some, some starts to their relationships to where it's like you would think this is probably not going to last and now they're like married with kids and shit. So I don't think so. It's a vibe thing yeah so.
Speaker 1:But there's um other times that you get a number, um you having a conversation with this woman, the way y'all talking, you kind of engage, like she's fine. You know, yeah, I want to see it further, but her her ways, I know that we probably wouldn't be a future together. Um, do you would you feel bad if you know she liked you but you know you didn't see her in that, in that way as in the future, that if you was to take her home and she thought it was more but you knew it wasn't, would you feel bad?
Speaker 2:uh, yeah, yeah, no, it's not a good feeling. It's not a good feeling you know, that, that it something happened.
Speaker 2:It didn't happen like that, but I just remember. I just remember, um, not knowing. This is like years ago, but I wasn't knowing like what I was doing in that moment. I thought we were just hanging out chilling, and all of a sudden, now we're on a date and she thinks it's classified as a real date and she's like, why isn't he like, why does this isn't hand over me, why is you know? It was just. It was just so much expectation that she kept saying it too, so it just started to get awkward and then I was in a position where I felt like I had to do more than what I wanted and I didn't, and it just made shit awkward. And I just don't hang out with people that I don't fully like or have an interest in in. Have you been through something like that where, like, you gotta kind of like fake it because you you just got here?
Speaker 1:yeah, I mean, there was one time to where, um this, I was driving uber and this, um the one of the girls she hit. She had a man and she's like my friend will be perfect for you you know, yeah, yeah, and so we exchanged, you know she, uh, I let her take my number down and then, um, she gave me the other girl's number and then, you know, we facetimed the girl's number, and then, you know, we facetime.
Speaker 2:She ain't cute, yeah, but you know I'm gonna be nice and go out on a date and so you went further.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't want to. Yeah, yeah, it was like just cool conversation, but I was like you know, I'll just take her, take her out, have a good time and that she's not cute was premeditated yeah, yeah, she's like. Nah, she ain't really, but maybe you know she's, you know yeah, a good time. It sounds like she hasn't been on a date in a while, and so I took her out, and it wasn't it yeah I mean she was cool, um, but that's just.
Speaker 1:I didn't. Of course, I didn't see much for a future with her yeah yeah, but that was a maybe. I have situations like that to where I can tell that girl likes me, but I'm not going, I'm not. I feel bad about wasting their time, so I don't really. You know, I'll be Always respectful and nice, but I won't really Do much with them because Even though I do want to Like, hey, she's cool, she'll probably be a nice lady, but I can't, yeah, like I'll be wasting your time.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 1:I don't never want to say that, you know either. I don't want to be that honest either, but I'm not, you know, I like you. I like you as a person.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You'll be a good friend or associate, yeah, but I'm not willing to go all the way of a relationship Because there's like I remember this one girl. She's cute and if I showed you a picture she's like oh, she is pretty, but she's like a white hippie girl and that's like not, I'm a church God, that's not the who, I can't bring you around like that.
Speaker 2:A hippie.
Speaker 1:The way that she moved it was.
Speaker 2:It was like too.
Speaker 1:Um, eccentric, uh-huh, like it's very free-spirited, um, it's not really that buttoned up. You know what I mean, and I was like I'll have to make you who you're not who you're not no, yeah, just to hang out at the cookout I'm just saying like to church, and you know what I mean like yeah, you got to grow a lot um before but no, she's very, very nice, very pretty, but I was like that's not, you know, and so I never really took it any steps further, even though she was interested in like yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I don't, I don't like that feeling it's just like I gotta be fake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't like that feeling. It's just like I got to be fake.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be here and I don't want like even if I'm going off of that analogy it's like I like you for who you are, but I know that I'm not going to see a future with you. So why am I going to waste your time? Yeah, yeah, because literally I'll be leading you on.
Speaker 2:And that's I feel like, in a way, your time is wasted too, that's what it felt like for me, but I have the.
Speaker 1:I'm choosing to waste my time, yeah.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean, yeah.
Speaker 1:You really think it's more than what it is. So you, you know it's like like the, the, the uh label is intentionally signing you to 360 forever and and then, if they know, they're getting over on you. But you think you got the best deal in the world, you coming out the hood you got you, you know you go be doing well, and then five years later you realize wow, I got really screwed for this.
Speaker 1:I can't believe they did this to me, but at the time you're loving it, you appreciate it, yeah, so I never want to give them that 360 deal because I know that at the end of the day it may feel fun at the time, but I know where my head's at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I completely get being in something like that. You just got to like. It just didn't feel right for me. There's a bunch of questions on here. I want to see if I can add some.
Speaker 1:I can keep going, if you yeah go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I feel like you're really diving deep. I feel like you should just choose one.
Speaker 2:Oh, I mean I was trying to see which one was a good one. Yeah, like there's random stuff on here Like is jealousy a sign of love, insecurity or both, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean we can talk about it like if that's one that you just stumbled upon, that's an interesting one. Um, I think that jealousy is definitely both, for sure, oh this is a good one, and I think it's. What is that?
Speaker 2:is it better to marry someone who feels like home or someone who excites you?
Speaker 1:I mean it feels like home is just feels too good, like this is where I'm supposed to be. It's exciting, like I feel, like you can find excitement at a strip club maybe yeah, it's giving fun girl. Yeah, or maybe that's just like my head like I, yeah, yeah, I don't, yeah, exciting sounds like you know, like I shouldn't be here, you know, I don't know yeah, but home is just too. It's just too powerful, I would say effects.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's giving me some bland ones, yeah, today but I mean, we can talk about jealousy uh-huh um, do you think you're a jealous person Like so, for you know she going out with your girl, the girl's coming home at 3 am, Right? Is that about the?
Speaker 2:No, the only time I do remember feeling jealous was because I was insecure about myself.
Speaker 2:That's the only time I do you speak on it. The time, um, it was like it was just like I wasn't put together, like my mind wasn't kind of calm, stable, like as it is now, like I wasn't working on myself. I wasn't working on myself, I wasn't working out, I wasn't doing a lot for myself and taking care of myself. So you know when, and there were a couple of things that happened in that relationship, that kind of just like made me feel a way, but a lot of it still had to. It lied on me just being insecure. It lied on me just being insecure.
Speaker 2:I I definitely feel that because nowadays, if it's pretty simple, it's just like all right if, if I got a girl and she just wilding, or if she just like you know, out and putting herself out there, it's pretty clear like if you're there or if she does, uh, or if I'm not there and I just like hear from somebody or it's posted on the story, she kind of like doing a lot, i'ma just I don't know. I'ma just think like we had a good run.
Speaker 2:You know, like it is what it is but, um, but yeah, like in in the times that I did feel like jealous. It was almost like I didn't want the girl to be around guys who were better than me, and I think that's something that a lot of men go through. Probably don't say it, but yeah, when I wasn't taking care of myself, that was something that I did feel.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that's interesting that you say that, because I have a different perspective on that, because how I look at things is overall. Overall, you know, you can gauge somebody and be like, hey, he's a millionaire, so that means he's better. But in my own head and maybe I justified over time I think we're our own individual person and we all also all offer something different. So that's how I look at it, like, if that's what you want, then fine, yeah that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I don't feel like. No man is technically Like if Me or Jeff Bezos, I would understand why you would choose Jeff Bezos. You know what I mean. So I guess I feel that, but for me I also offer something different Than Jeff Bezos does offer. So I feel like in a relationship and some others maybe my own girlfriend may disagree, but I think that I'm actually a good boyfriend that cares that tries to do the right thing, you know, and puts you over myself, and I think all that matters.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I feel good about my confidence in what I bring to the table.
Speaker 3:Well, that's really my whole point Okay Was that you feel that way?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like I wouldn't say that nowadays.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 2:I don't even look at. I look at everything, kind of like how you said you know, whatever I'm meant to be here for is just like I'm just trying to max out on that. But my thought process, like I said at one time when I wasn't confident in myself, or my own thought process, the way I make decisions, everything that's when those negative thoughts like that better shit, that better shit, like that's what I'm saying it came from back then like in those pockets of time. So, yeah, I wasn't saying that.
Speaker 2:Like nowadays- that I look at people like that, but that's just where, when you're insecure about yourself it's just like a lot of shit seeps into your head.
Speaker 1:That ain't even real. Would you feel? Uh, would you feel a way? Well, I mean, I guess the answer is no good time for you answering by mass anyway. Um, would you feel a way if the so say, if your ex moved on to Michael B Jordan? You know what I mean, like dang, you know she leveled up um, I just would expect it. I don't know, okay, yeah, like you wouldn't feel no way.
Speaker 2:No, I mean it's it just is what it is for real. Okay, so it's not like I mean again, you gotta look at how I look at myself.
Speaker 1:You be happy for it.
Speaker 2:Be happy for it sure.
Speaker 1:To be honest anybody, any.
Speaker 2:It depends on who you're talking about. I want everybody to be happy, but would it be weird if Some, some particular people Just get married Off the first? Look at the photo. I'm just being completely honest I'm still happy for you, but you know, it's just like I'll hit one of them yeah yeah, but that's not like um, I don't know like any any negative connotation, like you know, attached to it. But yeah, if anybody got with them, I mean I kind of expect that to happen.
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:I expect people to just Move on. I don't want to say level up, because then that makes me feel like I ain't shit. That's not how I look at myself.
Speaker 1:But you know what I'm saying. Just move on and be happy. Who they happy with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's going to happen with me too, you know so right right right, so I'm not.
Speaker 1:I ain't tripping off that is there a point in your weight? Shit is it huh, oh, go ahead. What'd you answer?
Speaker 2:uh no, I always think of it like in these certain ways, like if I was anybody else would I do that. Yeah, it's really that simple.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're going to take the best option available.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 1:I'm saying that's the best in your own eyes, like, hey, I love this person, this is the best person for me. And that's very mature, because sometimes in my mind I also have that thing of like I want you doing better than me too.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I have that thinking as well.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, take the best option available because, lord willing, I'll have that same option to me, because, yeah for sure, yeah, yeah, no, I, yeah, I feel like if I were to think like that, it's just kind of like I I don't think of myself as a certain uh, with a certain confidence, you know, so that that would be me telling myself, man, I can't get nobody.
Speaker 3:That's up there you know I can't reach that tier. You know like yes, I can, or that that's how I feel, so yeah, man, and so is there a thing you're waiting on to find?
Speaker 1:like it seems like you're not in search of that right person is there? Is there a stage in your life to where, like hey, I probably, or is it you think it's just gonna be when, whenever god I mean that's the easy way to say is like whenever god chooses, or you think it's just going to happen when it's supposed to?
Speaker 2:type of feeling I anytime, I anytime I got with someone. They came out of nowhere, so that wasn't me like saying hello or there's a girl across the street.
Speaker 2:I was like damn, she's pretty, you know, looks like it would be my type. It's never them, ever. It's usually out of nowhere. Something happens that like it's just this kind of supernatural feeling, like this is going too good, like you just came out of nowhere. We both connected on a major level, so I don't believe I mean this is I'm not like 70 years old, so I have a lot of life to live, um, but I just don't think it's going to be with me looking for it, something real. I don't think it's going to be.
Speaker 2:It's going to pop up like that, so I'm not actively looking for anybody really so if a connection comes up, man cool, I'll just, you know, have a conversation and see, see where it goes. Usually it doesn't really go anywhere. It usually is like this sort of process of hi, we might fancy each other a little bit and it just fades.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Do you think they can tell that you don't you desire? Well, I think, because I've asked this girl before you know. It was at one of the bars I frequented at the time and you know and it was like she liked me, right, that was good looking, but she also thought I was a type of person like I ain't gonna take you serious, you know I can just do as I please she thought you would like that yeah like because I got pretty eyes, I mean it's I'm only it's only a couple, a couple minutes.
Speaker 1:You know I only got so much as the end of the night and you know we're striking conversation, so you're just like, oh, you think you can just get my number and yada, yada. Do you think that's how it could be? For you? It's like, hey, yeah, and why take you serious when you don't really want me for real?
Speaker 2:maybe, maybe I've seen that before I think like race so silly and the followers got a lot to do with that um, which I've seen from. It depends on who you're talking to too, because, like again, let's be real, if a girl's pretty, she getting he fucking.
Speaker 3:DMs in general, from everybody. So it's really her choosing.
Speaker 2:But I've seen that before sometimes where yeah like kind of guarded a little bit from a woman.
Speaker 2:That hasn't happened too many times because I'm not actively trying to make girls like my girlfriends, like that. But I have seen women kind of second-guess certain things with me and I think a lot of it has something to do with race so silly certain things with me, and I think a lot of it has something to do with race, so silly uh me being in a public relationship and they can see the shit like like scroll and see who I've been dating and then you know, um, so you so I mean I.
Speaker 2:So my first question is if you use the dead again, it's going to be private, I don't know, okay, I don't know, because I like, I love who I love, so, like, I just want to feel secure with my person. I don't know, I'm 50-50 on that, because the relationship that I, that I, was in, that was public, you know, it got all the way to the point of us being engaged and that was posted uh places or whatever, to the point where if I do start to talk to anyone, that's somewhere in the initial conversation if we start liking each other. And I don't like that, it's just like. You know, I'd rather come to the table and be like yeah, you know, uh, this is how the previous relationship went, but that shit is on display and it's almost like it's attached to me in a way, not as much as it was before, but it's there. You, you know whether I delete whatever on my page, that shit is out there. So that is just something that.
Speaker 2:I just that is just something that I always keep in mind. You know, I don't really like I'm not the guy. Just because I like you I'm going to post you, just because I've been in another situation where it was just Rocky all the time and I could tell she started to second guess like why I'm not posting her. But in reality, like the relationship went exactly how I thought it was going to go and we didn't last long. So I'm 50-50 with it. I've just seen ups and downs of you know, experiencing love when it's real, like on a platform, because usually that outlasts the actual relationship. Yeah, it's a lot of conversations after that shit trying to talk to somebody.
Speaker 3:Aren't you engaged?
Speaker 2:Aren't you engaged? They couldn't wait to ask me that question.
Speaker 1:You still get that, though, mm-mm.
Speaker 2:No, but somebody. This is just a friend, but there was somebody that questioned that though they had looked it up and it was just like I guess they just looked up my name and that shit popped up. I don't even know where this stuff is, because I haven't seen it in years, but it's attached.
Speaker 1:It's attached, so it's a 50-50 yeah, that seems like a turn off to have a public relationship yes, but again, like when it's good, everything is good, it's like.
Speaker 2:It's like an outpouring of love, in a way it's the opposite side.
Speaker 1:You have your own profile, my own profile and that's us individually. Yeah, like that's. So just a way to make it easy yeah, yeah, oh man yeah, yeah, I'll be liking like little cute shit, like we.
Speaker 2:We walking up the street and both of our shoes are right there. You know telling the story, yeah, I'd be like. I'd be liking a little shit like that.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's cool, I can like yeah, I like it too it's not like I dislike it or like like I growl at the sight of it. Yeah, but at the end of the day, is it all worth it if everybody gets to see us, if, if our ultimate fall off? You know what I mean. And now you get it. Now I just don't like that. Like hey, how was yada yada? You know what I mean. And like I got to do that for a long time with individual person.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I got to explain it to people I don't need to explain it to Right. Yeah, worth it. For what? Yeah, that didn't get me an extra bag. Yeah, probably could have it, maybe, but yeah, and maybe it could have lasted longer if it did, you know, but no, I think that it's just easier to keep things private yeah, I have a relationship, I'm all right, I'm in a relationship and then I just, you know, we just have our separate pages.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I'm sure that affects the relationship to a certain degree, but if that's the things you love, then, like, I tell you, I'm not your guy. Yeah, yeah, and that's just kind of how it is. Ultimately, if you can't do without that, then I'm not your person.
Speaker 3:And that's just how it is. Yeah, it can be a thing.
Speaker 2:It definitely can.
Speaker 1:Not to say that I ever won't, but I'm just saying Like to the degree of what y'all had. It's like, yeah, that's a lot, but we was locked in at that point.
Speaker 2:We talking about years, and that's usually what happens with people who have relationships that are online usually. That they show it. They've been locked in for a long ass time. And yeah, I don't. Yeah, I remember we were together for a long time before we ever started posting. Yeah, yeah, I remember we were together for a long time before we ever started posting. Yeah, and then it was over after we made the joint page Trying to, like I said, get to another bag.
Speaker 1:That's why I say it's possible.
Speaker 2:I see people doing it.
Speaker 1:They be killing that shit, they be making a hell of money, yeah, yeah, and it can work for them, or it cannot.
Speaker 1:You know, it just all depends. I think that it that's a good way to make it, make it work. We all have something that you desire together, like if you have your own business together and build it up and want to see it grow. That's a, that's another type of baby of your own. You see the fruits of it, you see the seeds. You're both passionate, and when it does well, when it does poorly yeah, yeah then that's probably yeah, then those relationships may not last long.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those are all the but. All the great things when it does well, so you see them. When they're making the killing, it does well but. If it falls off. It goes off. They're arguing about disagreeing about the page, and then you can tear them apart too. So you have those.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you have both sides of it yeah, I don't think I'm ever gonna do that again. The uh um, the uh uh, what's it called? The joint page thing the ray and whoever like ray and stay, ray and stay I don't think so.
Speaker 2:It has nothing to do with the previous uh relationship. She was great. Like when it came to that whole thing, I just I'd be feeling fake after a certain point. It's like I just want, I just want this relationship to be a relationship Like. You know, I'm cool with doing a few TikToks here and there, you know. But like when it became the relationship, then it's just like. It just feels fake, like I gotta hype myself up and we're just driving to Walmart like to, to, to look better on the blog, the vlog or whatever. That shit was exhausting for me. I don't think.
Speaker 3:I'm going to do that again.
Speaker 2:I don't see that happening. Could you do that Like a joint page and let's make funny skits all the time?
Speaker 1:No, for what? I'm never in that ever good mood, like let's be real, yeah, I'm never happy enough to do that, why no, I'm just saying like that's a once in a I don't. Well, I guess I'm saying the wrong thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's not me yeah. So, I'm doing something that's not me. Uh, yeah, yeah, so I. So when you put the phone in my face, I turn down, I shut off yeah yeah, I go into, you know my inner kid, like, like my, like myself and my shyness. I don't like to be confronted on the camera. That's just not who I am. That's not how it works for me. Yeah, um, so, yeah, so so the answer is no but, so I was saying it wrong.
Speaker 1:It's not like, uh, like I'm just mad all the time. You just gotta catch me on the right day. I just don't really not that photogenic enough to do that like even even now. This is easier because this is a conversation that we can have and it gets public public wide.
Speaker 1:Now, if I have to do a thing for the cameras, it's something different yeah yeah, like I can commentate on something and the cameras be on, and that's what I'm. I'm talking about the thing, but if I have to entertain for the camera, it's, it's maybe a little bit different.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was like hey, I gotta perk up and do this thing. That it's not me, no I I like having conversations I like talking about sports. I like talking about relationship.
Speaker 1:I'm curious about the other individual now we can have entertainment in that, amongst each other and the camera. So beyond during then, but doing another thing and maybe and I don't want to just close myself off on it entirely um, but it has to be a mission. This can't be just like I want to see it, like I want to be, like, hey, I have a goal I want to get to and this is a means to the to the goal. Like, hey, if you're like, hey, I want you to do this thing for me, like I want you to be a part of this movie, or I'm just all right yeah okay, I'll do that thing for you and let's practice for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're just throwing like hey, let's do this one, let's cook and have us do it, together on the camera like no there's no purpose for it because you have no goal around it. There's no business plan, there's no model. Yeah, you gotta show me to where it makes sense yeah, so you don't like having fun?
Speaker 2:I mean that if that's what you call having fun, then then the random ass tick tocks this that's fun for a lot of people. Um yeah, usually women love doing that with their, their significant other. So yeah, yeah, yeah, but I mean that's but everybody ain't like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, like I said, if that's something that you it's a must have for you, then by all means that's the place you probably need to be and that's fine. I can live in that place and be like you know what, hey, she wants. She has different desires than I do. Then you find where you're happy. I won't be resentful of that. What I do become resentful of is that you find that place and keep me here and you never give me the option to search, for example, like a cheater, and you'd never give me the option to search. You know what I mean. So, for example, um, he's like, hey, like a cheater, a person who, well, I don't have to define a cheater, but I will for the so a person who is going behind your back and having relationships with somebody else. Yeah, and you're doing the right things and being faithful.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And you know you're staying at home, you know you're making sure everything's done, bills are being paid, yada, yada, mm-hmm, and then they're just doing whatever they want and lying to you about it. Now that's how I'll be very mad and very resentful. Yeah, I'd rather you say, hey, I want to have a relationship with somebody else and you can do that too, and we can maybe try to find us this together, or we separate, like.
Speaker 1:I don't like to not have the option, and that's why I was talking about wasting your time is because I don't want that to. You know, like, and that's why I was talking about wasting your time Is because I don't want that to. You know, like, dang, you was out Dating while I was here Like dude. I could have been doing that too.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, so it's more about, I guess, fairness and equal. Yeah, I just want to be treated fair. I just want to be not lied to and not being, you know, doing things behind my back and I have no idea what's going on and I'm thinking you're a honey. But you could have did this whole thing and told me, and I would have respected you for it.
Speaker 2:And just been straight up with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, just keep it a honey. If that's what you want to be on, then I can either like it or not.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to be mad.
Speaker 2:I will not be mad at you for presenting this to me they, um, and that's what you meant uh, uh, uh loosely about like the tiktoks, like just tell me that you be on this shit oh well, that's going to be a take her to leave it.
Speaker 1:Situation like I mean I, I'm, I'm understanding, I'm real, I'm like I know what's going on. I know that people enjoy the social media lifestyle, uh-huh. So I get it. You know you, you see other people's relationships online majority of people on social media, definitely our age as well and all and you're watching that constantly. That becomes desirable. That's what you want. That's content and I can see why you can love it and I can see how you can compare your relationships to your own right. So it's not like that's foreign to me, like I never thought that a day in my life. I get it totally, but I'll but keep in mind that that's not a relationship and how that really should be how it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, for example, the 80-year-old couples that didn't have social media they love each other to death. Yeah, who cares? Like, yeah, my mom doesn't post her husband every day and they cooking and eating with each other yeah, doesn't matter, right? Yeah, yeah, her husband every day and they cooking and eating with each other? Yeah, doesn't matter, you're right. Yeah, yeah, my, my, my mentor's uh, wife doesn't even have social media.
Speaker 1:She's 50 something years old they in a strong structural relationship. Just so I know the things that actually do matter. That is just. That's just like you. You know that's like Louis V. It's like, at the end of the day, it's just a bag. It doesn't mean that much, but it makes you feel good for having it.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, a bag.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So that's what I'm just saying. It's just a bag, yeah, yeah, but it makes you feel good when you have it. But at the end of the day, that's not who you are as a person, you're not a leader.
Speaker 2:So that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:It's just like hey, this makes me feel good at times, but this is not my relationship.
Speaker 1:But, by all means, if you like to post, I'm not going to be like get out of social media, but don't expect me to do that with with in terms of me having my own page and me post you and things like that. Now there's a video. You want to do a time or two and take a picture together? I'm I'm totally with that. I'm understanding. But to make that who who I am now is, you're not going to get that.
Speaker 2:I get that I get that, yeah, yeah. When it's in excess, and I'm saying all this and I come out with a video every day, it's just like that's my pocket, but it can just get super excessive. It's only excessive because it's just not me for real. So I completely get that, which is why I never leaned um, I, I never leaned into twitch because, like, my personality checks out like after a certain time and you got to be streaming all day and night like I don't know how they do that.
Speaker 1:So do you think that, um say, if somebody offers you a million dollars? I'm doing it. I'll figure it out. No, no, yeah, no. A billion dollars to be executive producer um for um paramount, and so that requires you to be behind the scenes. Do you think that you would still do social media because you love it?
Speaker 2:yeah, okay, yeah, I can't stop okay doing um creating, okay, because I is but you're creating it with with paramount yeah, but it's not steve okay it is your executive producer, this is your creation.
Speaker 1:Well, you're just not.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying would you cut out being front-facing and be fine having you know letting race, so silly, go to the wastelands no okay okay I'm in too deep at this point, okay, so I yeah, it would have to either be some type of transition, but I do feel like me, my being, my charisma, how I speak, the jokes that I say, it's like meant for me to say these things I can't write that for somebody else but you're also you're getting generational money with another company and you don't need Rachel Sill.
Speaker 1:And the reason why I'm asking that question is because, uh, braxton Taylor was on um the worrying mall podcast.
Speaker 2:Did you hear that how he is okay with not being an artist anymore?
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly His heart ain't in it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, he'd been saying that shit for years. Yeah, nah, but my heart is in it. It's like money's cool. That aspect of taking care of family and all that shit would definitely be the first thing that I think about. However, it's literally a part of my happiness to create and release something like with me in it, like these thoughts that are in my head, the jokes and all this stuff, like it's just not the same type of life for me if I'm not doing it, if I'm not, if I'm not using what was like totally given to me, which is a, which is myself in a way.
Speaker 2:So I just seen, I just seen um, me doing it and me being uh, when I had that job and I was like doing well and I wasn't doing that, it felt like a part of me was just missing, yeah, and that that had a part of me, of my downfall, of of losing myself. I felt like if I kept that up I would have been happier. But you know, life is going to life in general, so you have to do certain things that like genuinely make you happy. It's not about the money, you know.
Speaker 1:I got you, I got you. I think we did it. Well, this is Two for the Culture, and I'm Stephen Ray, justin Devante, and we'll be back, alright, yes, sir.