Two for the Culture
Two for the Culture is brought to you be Steven Rey and Justin Devonte. This is the podcast for the ages! Both Steve and Justin has been friends for over a decade plus and will give you a genuine approach on news and culture with humor and love. I promise this will be one of your favorite podcasts that you will not get enough of!
Two for the Culture
What Recognition Reveals: How Public Moments Change Private Growth
And we are back with another episode of Two for the Culture. I'm Justin Devante. Stephen Ray. And we are back. I feel like we got a great show lined up tonight. I think it's going to be exciting. It's going to be fun. I got some things I want to talk about. Okay. Different experiences. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Can can you hear me? You can hear me good?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I can hear you good. Yeah, yeah. But yeah. How you feeling? I feel good, man. I got you.
SPEAKER_00:What did you do? Yeah. But I like I said, um, before the podcast, I made some bell peppers. And after I cut those onions, I don't know what happened, but it's it's like it's stuck in my nose or something.
SPEAKER_03:Like maybe clearing some science, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe clearing some. Yeah, I got you. Maybe all the cheese that was in it. Some I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:I guess you want to uh you want to start with our experience, getting out a little bit uh last week, I guess, since it's Monday. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Uh yeah. So yeah, last week we we went out. Uh where do we start? Did we where did we start? We went to like a couple different areas.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like we went to a couple of different areas. Well, we did for sure.
SPEAKER_00:But we really before brought oh you were charging a car.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, exactly. Then we was walking and chilling, yeah, yeah, and just like that in Justin fashion, parked next to the charging station. Didn't put the the the charging in there. So we were just walking and talking, did didn't charge the car at all. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just knew I was gonna be on 80%. And I was like, oh damn. But you know, I mean, it we still made a good night of it on the limited charge we had just getting out. Um to Broadway. Yeah, so we we started on Broadway. Um did we go to two different uh we went to Broadway, then we went to either yeah, we went to Broadway for a little bit like a bar. I can't remember which bar we was at. Uh-huh. And then we went to um Printer's Alley. Oh. Because you remember the first bar at Broadway was either like I want to say posties or something like that. It was posties because we had the uh you remember the pictures of Post Malone all over the place. So we went there, we went to the rooftop. The drinks were hot super high. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah, so we're like, yeah, we ain't doing it. I was like, let's just go to Prince Alley because those are drinks are way more reasonable.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. No, I I I I think I just got used to over here, and like the drinks are not that much at all. Um, and I didn't really realize that until we went on Broadway. And I was just like, this place don't even look like it it looks cool, but it didn't look like the amount of um the the the drinks. Usually when the drinks are high, it's like a nice, you know, elegant thing. But you've been clearly in Nashville longer than I have. Yeah, I I just equate that to certain things. But um it was still fun. It was still fun.
SPEAKER_03:And uh then we went to uh we went to uh Miss Kelly's, which you know I f I frequent there, so you know it's yeah, so it's just an easy get a drink and kind of get out if you want to play listen to karaoke, cool, you know, they got a little bit of pool, so but it's really just yeah, I kind of get a couple drinks in without really paying Barway Pisces, right?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I got recognized like twice.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so we went back to Broadway at that point. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So we went back to Broadway after after we got a couple drinks, and then we went to Honky Tonk Central, and that's when you got recognized, like we was at the bar kind of chilling, and then that's when you know one guy came come up to you how was that experience?
SPEAKER_00:Uh what'd he say? It was it was um it's it's it's it's just so funny. It's like when it happens, and I can tell they really watch my stuff, like for real, it's like this face, like they're so happy to see me. Like it's just like surprise, like I just came back from the army or something. It's like, oh, and then and these are grown men that we're talking about. Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, like our age or whatever.
SPEAKER_03:Well, they're probably a little younger. Oh, for real? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Well, um, nah, that that that was that was funny. Yeah, uh, it was this dude at the food truck, and I thought he was I thought he was about to like try to sell me a CD or something until after he was done talking to me and he just got back in line. I was like, oh, okay. I thought he worked there. And um then the second dude, the second dude, yeah, that was funny. He was like super excited. And he just started talking to you out of nowhere, just like yeah, developing a conversation, and then he gave us the free tickets to the script club.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. It it and yeah, before we even talk about that experience, which is hilarious. Uh, but even to that point, you know, and then I started to think about it, you know, because you know, you know, I know I known you since college. So, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't my ex-girlfriend, uh, you met her before you met me.
SPEAKER_00:Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. So yeah, yeah. So uh because I was cool with Tate, right? But when so she had mentioned, like, hey, you did the videos and she started going down the rabbit hole and stuff. Uh-uh. Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, you know, like not that it's I don't want to say insecure, but me like, man, get this nigga out of here. You know what I mean? Like, like, like it's already like put my bad taste in my mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So yeah, yeah. So uh, but I'm saying all that to where um like so I was like, I don't care for that, you know. So, but you know, I met you, we was like super cool, of course, a stronger bond since then. Um, but I'm saying all that to say is that I don't see what they pe other people see. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, because you're just my homeboy, you know what I mean? That that do you know do the videos and it's super popular. Uh-huh. But then I thought to think about it, you know, some of the people that I see on Instagram, not that I know their names, but I see a lot of you know, see their faces all the time, and I find their videos hilarious. I'm like, I can see where that excitement may come from. Uh-huh. It's like, hey, I've seen so much of your stuff, yeah, that you know, like to see you in person is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that's like super dope for them. Yeah. You know, like a really good experience. And I was like, I I kind of get it now. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Of the excitement and where it comes from. Yeah. And so it's like it makes it makes it feel good that some that people feel that way about the content that you put out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How does that how do you feel about that? Like people are excited to see you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's that they love the work that you do. Yeah, that was dope. Like both of them. And then I didn't tell you, but um I was at the liquor store, I think like earlier that day or something something to get a bottle for the weekend. And it was a new guy at the the the liquor store. Well, I ain't never seen him before, but um, and he just turned around and it was just like no. And I, you know, I knew he said, bro, I recognize you. And I always like kind of play it down a little bit just because it was two times one person thought I was like somebody that either played ball or something, and there was another time where there was another guy who was light-skinned, and he used to do green screens. Okay. So like I never want to lean fully into it. Yeah, yeah. And then just be embarrassed myself. Yeah, yeah. So I always just like kind of like dumb it down until they tell me like they actually know me for real. Yeah, I got you. So uh, but when they do, uh I haven't, I haven't, you know, like it's it's I haven't been around a lot of black people here in Nashville. So it's very few or far in between, and and most of those times it was with you, so wherever we went. But um, yeah, I haven't gotten recognized like that in a minute. Uh mainly because we're like in Nashville. If this was like the south or where it's like I mean, or or or different areas, yeah, yeah, then I would get recognized more. But um, I haven't gotten that in a minute, and it was just I was like, damn, these folks really like these videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they were like really happy. Yeah, yeah. They stopped everything they were doing that night.
SPEAKER_03:Because I can only imagine just like in another form, if say if I was a um a painter and people love my work, and they're like, I love your paintings. You know what I mean? Like how excited I would feel that my work brings you this much joy. Yeah. So I wonder if is that kind of resembling how how you feel?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's it's it's like it's like that you you don't you don't really know. I don't know. Like again, you know me, so well, first of all, you've been knowing me for like a long time. But when I'm saying that you, you know, like my process of stuff, like I'm just it's like the green screen is up right now, and I'm not even talking to anybody. I'm just hopping in something, getting on my laptop, click upload, and I get comments. It's like hitting a high score on a game or something. I never see anybody laugh at my stuff. I never see a reaction unless it's a reaction video that somebody uploads, and that's like one every like, well at least right now, that's one every however many years. So I never see it. So that that's the only time I actually get to experience what you saw. So it's really, it really can turn your day around for real when things like that happen. So I got you. And also if somebody doesn't have a great personality, it could be kind of nerve-wracking. Um don't know what to say for real.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I got you. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00:But um, that was cool. That was cool.
SPEAKER_03:Does it make you want to go harder in the work that you do? Or yeah, yeah, it does.
SPEAKER_00:Like when I actually see that, I'm like, oh damn. You you you you just it's it's I I still wish that I could actually visually see somebody that that really likes my content, watch it. Because again, all I'm getting is emo. I'm super thankful. I'm getting emojis, laughing my ass off, da-da-da-da-da. But it's just like words. It's a it's different when somebody's in front of you, like laughing at your stuff.
SPEAKER_03:And you didn't forget about you forgot about the third guy that recognized you that night. Who? He's like, You're the uh the pussy juice guy. Damn! Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I got recognized four times this week. That's crazy. That's all in one week. Yeah, yeah. Just jam-packed there.
SPEAKER_03:Because he's like, bruh, I haven't did that in a long time.
SPEAKER_00:I haven't done that in so I don't know how he remembered that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That was 2017.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, like when I first came out for real, that first year. Yeah, he stopped, but he was just like passing by pussy juice. He just kept walking. I almost felt like, damn, I want more. Like, what yeah, yeah, yeah. That's uh, but no, I was I was um it's crazy, man. It's crazy how you you just make people feel, you know. And um, yeah, so that the us starting all this and all that, like I wanted that for you too. Like you just walk out and it's just different, bro. It's like going to the the um you go to the airport and it's normal, super normal. You give them your ID, like, wait, aren't you that guy that the flight is just better now?
SPEAKER_03:Okay, I guess. You know, yeah. No, but I like it to experience it for you. Like, yeah, yeah. Like I'm I'm halfway out of it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I'm just the guy, and you know, I enjoy seeing it. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. But that can be a a a level of overwhelm, like how I feel. I don't know if that's how you feel, but like it can be a little overwhelming at times. It can because they have an expectation of you.
SPEAKER_00:When I'm in, when I'm in, for instance, when I went to um Atlanta Homecoming, like when all of the all of the calls, the HBCUs, they're like together at the same time, that was the most overwhelming stuff ever. I I will always remember that. Like when I'm in, or when I even lived in Atlanta, it was very overwhelming. There were times where, excuse me, there were times where I didn't even want to go to Linux anymore. I didn't want to go to the mall anymore. If I went to the food court and I'm hungry and I gotta stand in line, like somebody gonna recognize me, and that's weird. I'm standing in line and like I can't get away. Um yeah, if I if I if I if I'm at the gas station, that's just not like the best place for me to get recognized. That's just I don't like that. One time a dude uh knocked on the window and it was me and Lloyd in the car. He's like, bro, I love you. I didn't know what was about to happen, you know. He knocked in your car window. Yeah, yeah. We was driving, I don't know where we was driving to. We was in a we was in a U-Haul, and um, yeah, he just knocked on the window. I I didn't know what that was about, but that's what I'm saying. Sometimes it's like uh it's it's just time and time and a place for certain things. And again, some people are naturally awkward, they don't know what to say to you when they see you, and it could just feel it could feel weird, it feels like somebody staring at you.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's not like the the best feeling.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember one time I was at a kickback and somebody went like this. Like they took a picture of me. Yeah, okay. While they were talking to somebody, like, yeah, he did a thing. And I'm just like, I just I fucking saw you, dude. You on the other side of the table.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_00:So it, you know.
SPEAKER_03:Is that is that somewhat frustrating, or are you like, I understand you wanna you understand.
SPEAKER_00:I got you, but it's just like I don't I don't know if I fuck with you.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. I think it's an element of, hey, I'm too cool to do the thing I want to do and ask for a picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That or just say, hey, you the dude, or yeah, yeah, whatever. But again, like I don't know what it's like to I've been in this stuff for so long that I don't know what that's really like anymore. To to see somebody, you know, me going to LA and then rubbing shoulders with people way higher than me. You see these people, you're like, oh damn, it's just people for real. Like you have to be super duper I I don't know, I don't even know who you have to be to make me feel that way. But I've been in it for so long, I don't even know what that is to to see somebody you follow or whatever, and you think you're never gonna run into this person, and then all of a sudden they're in 3D, like right in front of you. So it's a it's very it's very delightful. I'm super appreciative of the people just saying something. You know, it does make me feel super good. I'm like, damn, I gotta um I don't know, it's kind of like a battery in your back when you hear that, and then you you you just see that your work is just appreciated, and it's like really appreciated. It wasn't just like oh you're funny, like, no, hey bro, like you're you. Right.
SPEAKER_03:So um I feel like your reach is further than the 600,000 or 500,000. It's gotta be, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's gotta be.
SPEAKER_00:At this point, a lot of people have seen my face. So I could have been reposted again. I could be on somebody's uh story. There are many, many, many women who will post me on their story but won't follow me. And there's a lot of guys that follow women. So, like, you see what I'm saying? My face is out there. They might not rec they might not know my name and stuff, which was why, like, when dude said something, I was I was just gonna follow him. I kind of expect them to either follow me or not follow me, but you know my face, more so than you're actually following me.
SPEAKER_03:Because do any of them say your name?
SPEAKER_00:Uh that that that maybe like a quarter of the time. Oh, okay. Yeah, maybe a quarter of the time that they'll actually say that. But usually it's like waiting on me to say what my name is. But like they know that I'm the guy that hops in the videos.
SPEAKER_03:And yeah, okay. Okay, I got you. No, but it was so it was cool, no, it and it's cool to experience that. But I was like, yeah, the black your black audience compared to white, because I don't see much of any white person in there. I don't even remember a white person. Yeah, it's it's it's crazy, just the cultures, like how how far apart they are. It's completely far apart.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, right, right. I don't remember once getting recognized by like a actual white person who's not like from the the black community, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03:Right. I guess maybe a keen batch may cross over a little bit, yeah, yeah, or something along those lines. No, LA people, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, me very, very few far before. Yeah, I I don't remember that not one time. But I also literally intentionally zone in on black content specifically. So that's just gonna keep growing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But uh so yeah, so keep in mind the dude that recognized you gave us these these passes tickets to the strip club, yeah, and I'm like, we got time. You know, yeah, yeah, we got time today. We're going today. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's let's see what it's talking about. So we get to the strip club. When I say the slowest experience I've ever been. And I've been to maybe five or six, seven, maybe strip clubs at the at the most. Right. In Nashville? Or just in general? Yeah, I've been to that one before. Oh. And it wasn't that bad then. Uh-huh. And then I've like maybe three or four strip clubs in Atlanta. Oh, I'm gonna lean on two, three. And then I maybe went to one or two in Florida. So yeah, so about six, maybe. Um, if I'm doing rough now.
SPEAKER_00:I mean in Atlanta. Folly's in Blue Flame.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. So, but you know, that was there's so many years apart. I'd rarely go. But uh, but yeah, so I was like, we're going, you know. Yeah, get there. When I say the laziest performance I've ever seen in my life, like if it was show at the polo, we booing you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, like it was so bad. The money that was thrown, I wanted to like slap their hand away. Like you they don't deserve it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they were thrown, they uh a little bit, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But what made it the experience fun was the people watching. What you mean? Like, you was like, bruh, he is a serial killer. Oh, yeah, yeah. You point to people out, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It was literally, yeah, that it was it was chilling there, laughing with you, and just like looking at everything. By then, you know, it was the end of the night, so it was like we turned. It's just we just having fun at about anything at this point. And they had them girls in rotation every 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_03:It was three of them. Exactly. And they couldn't strip to save their damn lives. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, like it was lazily, like one person was okay on the pole, uh, but none of them could really twerk. They're always doing like clapping the heels, you know, trying to shake their legs a little bit. Yeah. I was like, how do you get this back? You know what I mean? If this is this what Nashville has to offer? Like, I felt bad for my city.
SPEAKER_00:Uh I I'm pretty sure there are there are other ones. There's gotta be bigger ones here, right?
SPEAKER_03:Well, there's only another one. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Because surprisingly, there's another one that got closed, uh, Crazy Horse, because it was worse than that one, apparently. Damn. Yeah. How small could you really get, right? Uh yeah, nobody was in there too. At that strip club, it was Thursday. Yes. I I would think a Thursday would be. I would think a Thursday too. Kind of pop. But yeah, I just wanted to put a little bit more grace on it. Yeah. And and not only that, it's BYOB. Yeah, that was new. So, yeah, yeah. That's like a law in Nashville, Tennessee. Is that a strip club that you that they can't sell liquor at the strip club?
SPEAKER_00:Really? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even think about it like that. Or maybe you did tell me, but I I didn't. Yeah, I yeah, the BYOB, you you yeah. We were just drinking. I'm like, that's new.
SPEAKER_03:So you can really turn up at the strip club because you're not spending those prices. Oh. Like we had like a a case of Trulies or whatever, yeah, and we was drinking them joints, and you can really get lit real quick, throw money, you know, and not spend a lot. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So it should really be packed just based off the law. Yeah. Because you know, you can go, you know, supposed to see beautiful girls. Our hostesses were lit trash. They were old. Like, I was like, bruh, it's like, this ain't it. You know what I mean? Like, like, yeah, this feels like, you know what I mean? Like, we should be out in the boonies with this. Yeah. Yeah. Like, this is something that, yeah, hey, you know, you in Shelbyville and you and you go here, and it's like, all right, this is what Shelbyville's gotta offer. Nashville is a city, yeah, it's a metropolitan fact. There should be a more variety. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I thought it would be more. Um, yeah, I thought I thought it would be. I mean, hey, it was not it was I I can't I can't even fully say that I didn't have a great experience because everything else was just perfect.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, no, it was a great night. I think it was just funny how bad it was. It's like it was like one of those movies that are so bad as good. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like look at him over there. Look at her. Like you, you're you're like, like one of the like Tubi movies to where they shooting and they do it and she they dodging the bullets, yeah, you know what I mean or get punched, and it's like so bad it's funny. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, so it was like a Tubi movie for real. Yeah, and so it was enjoyable to watch, but like, but we didn't come there for like expectation to have like oh I'm here for the strippers.
SPEAKER_00:We're just going to do said it too. He was like, it's all right, but like he was like, it's decent. He he told the truth before we went. Oh, okay. He oh you told okay. Yeah, dude who gave us the tickets, he definitely was like, uh he changed his voice and everything. Yeah, yeah, like bro. Don't expect to have a good time for real.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but yeah, so so when we went, it wasn't like expectation, like, hey, we're gonna have so much fun. It was like, hey, let's just go do this experience. Right. So, you know, it wasn't disappointing. Well, I'm lying, it was disappointing for the the expect like taste of a strip club exactly in Nashville. Exactly, yeah, yeah. But at the same time, it was a good time because we still enjoyed ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:No, it was that was a great night. That was fun. That was definitely fun.
unknown:I fucked with it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, no, that was cool. But so, you know, when you're at the strip club, it you know, um you typically you see like more variety. Like it was just like one black girl, the rest of them white, but it wasn't like a heavy rotation anyway. But you know, but if you go somewhere else, like maybe New York, you will get actual diverse people. But um that and driving for the weekend, um, because I met this one lady, she was Colombian, and then it was like, you know, her friends were like kind of egging her on, like, hey, she's single, yada yada. Oh, okay. She had this heavy accent. Uh-uh. Like, and she was cute, but you know what I mean. I I I look at situations like that and I go further and be like, could I marry somebody with this thick accent? Yeah, and so I'm gonna propose that question to you. Uh-huh. Do you feel like you can marry somebody with the accent, French accent, um Spanish accent?
SPEAKER_00:I think so. Okay, I think so. Yeah, like I I'm thinking about it. Um one of my homies had a girlfriend and she was from London. I thought that was kind of cool.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's it was definitely thick. She was definitely from London. Okay. Or the UK or whatever.
SPEAKER_03:So I'm saying thick accent to where you have to ask, what did you say? Uh-huh. Type it thick.
SPEAKER_00:You know, if uh if the the the the wifey qualities are up enough, I'm willing to learn. Oh yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_03:I'm willing to, you know. Because yeah, a London accent accent, English is their first language. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But for others, that's you know, English can be their second or third language. You know what I mean? And this is clearly, she's Colombian, she's this is her second language for sure. She knows the words, they just are thick. So the her Spanish where you roll the tongue and all that stuff still kind of applies when pronouncing things.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I think I could. I think I could. Um, yeah, all that other stuff. Uh uh one of my exes, she was Puerto Rican. First of all, she didn't even know Spanish. But um I was willing to learn just the off the strength, like you know, to shit, chill and talk to her family and and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_03:I'm not talking to her mom, her mom's mom's from New York, she exactly talks like this. Yeah, exactly. So that's that's I'm saying somebody who has a second language to where No, I know, I know.
SPEAKER_00:I'm just saying, like it I thought in the beginning that that's what I was getting myself into, and I was I was willing to like learn.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah, I see I see what you're saying, that you're coming in, but when you're actually experiencing it is another thing because that that's somewhat hard for I don't want to say get over, but it it's hard for me to take it serious when you know we is that language barrier. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know, I mean it's is is that weird to say or uh the the way you explain it, it seems like it's not necessarily a language barrier, it's just like you getting used to their voice their accent. Okay. So like they are they they're talking in Spanglish or whatever, but after a while, you know, you'll eventually uh learn that. My um homie Lloyd, his dad is from New Orleans and that shit deep as hell. And I had to learn it. Like I had to literally, I didn't know what he was saying when he just came from um New Orleans, from Katrina, fresh, fresh out of Katrina. And that's when their accent was the thickest. And I didn't know what this man was saying. My family still don't be knowing what he be saying, but I've deciphered it now. Like I I know exactly what he's talking about and the jokes that he's saying. So yeah, I think it's just time, time that you have with people. People do that to me. Yeah, like people, well, I mean, I I don't speak a different language, but when I get super comfortable and like we're on a podcast now, but like if I my my um, I don't know, I I go to I talk on the phone to a bunch of homies or something, and I'm fresh off of that, my accent is probably thicker. And I've been on a couple conversations where they were like, wait, huh, what you what'd you say? Uh what what what'd you say? And then eventually they they they can hear what I'm saying. So mine's not like a Colombian accent, but still. It was so thick that you couldn't really understand what she was saying.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, um, I can understand what she's saying, but you know, this one of the moments you gotta turn the radio all the way down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And um, it's like okay, and I had to lean in. Yeah. To kind of get it. And sh she was shy and all that stuff, so that all that didn't help. Because her family was like, she lives at home by herself. Like, like, yeah. Like, well, because there, I mean, okay, they said something along that, like, she has her house that lives alone. So she pretty much said that, like, she lives alone. Uh-huh. But she's from Jersey or whatever. So, um, and I guess I'm saying that to say on a side note, is that when English is not it because it reminds me of a situation. If English is not somebody's first language, they're saying the words that they know, and they don't necessarily know how it comes off. Because when I sold insurance, it was this African guy who, you know, they'll be like, What? You know what I mean? It sounds harsh, but those are the words that they don't. They don't know that it comes off very aggressive. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, so he may be loud and yelling. He may, but then at the end of the conversation, okay. You know what I mean? Like, like the experience sounds very abrasive, uh huh, but that's just how he is. You know what I mean? And yeah, so they're using they're limited on the words that they use, so it may sound crazy. Like, dang, you putting that on blast. But those are like, hey, I don't know how to say this another way. Mm-hmm. Because I only know the words. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And and this may not necessarily apply for her, but there's pretty much hey, because they're speaking in Spanish. So obviously I don't know what they're saying. Yeah. So they could have a I assume that because I do have energy. You know what I mean? So I can see how she looks at me and then they're they're going back and forth. And then she'll say a thing. Like, are you are you married? Like she'll speak in Spanish. And they'll be like, Justin, are you married? Yeah. You know, I was like, okay, that whole conversation was about me. I don't know what they said, but yeah, it was about clearly. Yeah. You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So I'll be willing to learn. Yeah. I think um, I don't know. It just depends on who you with. It all depends on who you with. But yeah, I I I would definitely um uh depending on how that situation is for sure. Yeah, if I'm being treated super right, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well you you don't know until you you just not like it's a arranged marriage, you know what I mean? You gotta build up to being treated super right. Right. So it's like, hey, you because in normal circumstances, I know you probably had different experience, but in normal circumstances, you get to meet that person wherever y'all met, then you have that first date, and then you know, you build up after that. Treating you right really only comes in in the in the uh you know, y'all leading up to being together. Yeah. So so yeah, but so but you gotta get date one, date two in before you get to that point anyway, in most cases.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That reminded me of um, yeah, like I said, I think it just depends on who you're with, but that reminded me of a girl I I once knew, and she was from Jamaica and it's super thick um accent. Super, but like she would dumb it down for me while speaking to me. So I guess it kind of doesn't go with what you're saying, but I do remember somebody else realizing that if she was just speaking straight patois, then I gotta keep asking questions to keep up and all this. So she would rather do her best proper voice to have a conversation with me.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, and yeah, I I understood. Yeah, it definitely helped.
SPEAKER_00:So but I wanted to learn, right? Right.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I want to speak that shit too. It's so what you said it got me on another path. Do you have things that you want to put out before I just start going on you know different stuff? I mean, we're flowing. Okay, okay. I just didn't want to hold you up. Uh, but yeah, so um when you you you mentioned something about treating you right, yeah. So it just sparked my mind. Have you got flowers for a date before? Have you uh not received flowers on a date? On an actual date? Yeah, like a girl presented you with flowers.
SPEAKER_00:Um it wasn't a date, but I got flowers.
SPEAKER_03:What was it? What was it?
SPEAKER_00:Uh I think I told you, um, it was twice from the same. Oh, it was only one girl that did this. But um, yeah, I saw her for the first time before she was my girlfriend. Saw her for the first time before she was my girlfriend, and then I searched the whole airport when I landed for a rose for her, and then I got in her car and she had a rose for me. That was that was that shit was like, whoa. Okay. Yeah, I was I was definitely taken aback. And that same girl sent me flowers to where I lived with um chocolate covered strawberries and shit. That shit was crazy. That was the first time I ever so how how did you how was it feeling?
SPEAKER_03:Because I've never had that and felt like floating.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Okay. She said, she said, um, well, when I got in the car, you know, I don't know. I I I feel like in terms of co in terms of courting each other, um, and showing each other that, you know, how much you you you you feel about each other. I have not seen too much of the other side. So usually as like I said, uh, I feel like I failed if I see this girl who I'm talking to and I pull up and I ain't got a rose for. You know, I feel like, damn, like that was that was the like a first impression of meeting you, and like I really wanted to show you that I actually like you, and you know, and I don't even expect that stuff. So whenever that happens to me, I'm just like super taken aback. Like it feels, I don't know, bro. It feels like it automatically because I never get stuff like that, it automatically feels like I owe you or something. Yeah. So, and then I remember when I was talking to that same girl, and she um she said, she said, oh my god, they sent it to the wrong address. And then I was like, What what what you mean? She's like, they sent it to the wrong address. Oh my god. And then I was like, what? And I opened the door, and it was this big red box. And then I was like, oh, what's this? She was like, oh wait, it's sent? And she ruined the whole thing for me. But um, and I opened up that, I didn't know what was in that box. I thought I I I I didn't know what was in that box, but I opened it up and like I said, it was just it was flat a bouquet. Then my video stopped. Oh, for real?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Uh is it uh nah, I started it again. Oh, okay. Um I'm gonna just clap just in case. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'll figure I'll I'll figure it out. I don't even think about thinking about that. But um yeah, but when I went outside and I saw that, damn, like I was I was just like it it it it made me sit down. I was just like, this happens? You know, so I think women should definitely do that. I mean, I'm all for being a gentleman and giving a woman a rose and all that, but I don't think it's talked about for real how it feels on the other end. Even if it's not a rose, it's just like a gesture of I I really like you, or you know, especially if y'all are both on the same page. It feels like it feels more like you're it feels more like you're on the same page versus let me keep showing this girl something or keep brightening this girl's day, and then you literally, yeah, whether you a nigga that like flowers or not, you can see the effort of her trying to make your day better. And that that felt that felt amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so um the what you felt like you're like, hey, I owe you. That's like that's what's called the law of reciprocity. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's like when somebody does something for you, you feel the need to do something for them back. Yeah. Um, so that's kind of from what I'm gauging from what you're saying.
SPEAKER_00:I think I always feel like that for the most part. Just because it's so rare. It's like so rare. And I'm talking about little stuff. I'm not talking about like dates and things like that, which is still fine. You know, if a girl's like, no, I want to take you out or da-da-da, that's cool, but I don't know. Um I'm talking about little stuff. Okay, I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not like, you know, you've been with your girl for a year, and then she's like, I want to take you out now. Oh. You know, not like that. I'm saying, uh, which is definitely still appreciated.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But um, nah, that that that initial shit and and them showing you that, I'll always probably feel like, oh damn, I think I owe her something. Because I I'm just not used to it. I'm not used to getting things.
SPEAKER_03:Right, yeah. And I think that's like um when I was talking to this one girl, it was something simple. She had went to Myrtle Beach, but she has sold my name on like, you know, they'll have it like say a name tag with your name on it, but this one had like had a bottle of sand or something, and it had it had my name attached, and she's like, hey, I I got you something, you know, like like she tried to play it off nonchalantly, but I was like, this is actually cool. Yeah, you know, I'm glad this is you thought of me while you was on the trip, you know. So that I appreciate it, even though it's like a thing that's like insignificant, it still felt good to have that because you you're thinking about me while you're somewhere else. Yeah. Um, so that's what it's kind of sounds a little bit to me, like what was kind of happening. Um, but too, like those um those uh roses and those chocolates and things like that along those lines. What I'm gonna probably start doing is, and what I've really never done, is starting to write letters. Uh-huh. To I I've never done it, have you? Like, where I I've never done it.
SPEAKER_00:Try to make them cry every time.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. For me, like I'm gonna I feel like I should do it in a lot more instances than just the romantic thing, you know. Uh writing a little bit. I'm just thinking about you know, past relationship. There's you can't, and I'm gonna completely remove the romantic and actually talk about like an issue that we're having we're having in a relationship. Uh-huh. You can't come back at me in the letter. You know, you know what I mean? Yeah. You could you just gotta read the letter for what it is and how I feel. You sure it's the best way.
SPEAKER_00:It sounds negative.
SPEAKER_03:No, well, I'm saying that is that what happens when I confront you, because typically how it is, is like, hey, I have an issue that I want to solve. Yeah. And then it's it's now we're going back and forth, and you're not truly hearing me. Uh-huh-uh. But in a letter, you're getting exactly how I'm feel without you having the ability to uh respond back at that moment. You just gotta take everything that I say. Because then there's gonna be points that I miss, there's gonna be things I'm forgetting back, and now I'm responding to something that's probably not even, you know, that you know, you threw a curveball that's like, hey, you said this, but what about this thing? It's like brother, I thought we tackled this four months ago. Uh-huh. So now it's no longer about what the issue I had. Now you're just coming back at me to to create an argument.
SPEAKER_00:I think I think you're still gonna get that. I feel like you're gonna get a call from her and be like, Of course, of course.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, the plan is to get a discussion out of it, but you're getting all of the of how I feel about the issue before you can respond. Because typically when I'm and and when there's an issue arises, there's a there's gonna be a lot of going back and forth, and there's there's no resolution.
SPEAKER_00:I I think I think it depends on who you're with.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, I think I don't think everybody's like that. Yeah, but there's a lot of that happening in relationships. I mean, yeah. I I don't mean uh that's I've never seen it to where that's not been the case. Now, is that gonna be every single case, every single time? Hopefully not. But there's gonna be plenty of times to where you may have an issue and then y'all are just bad at each other at that point, yeah. And so you're feeling like, what was the point of me ever? I shouldn't have even brought it up because now we're in a worse place.
SPEAKER_00:I th there was one time I was uh with someone and we went to the park and we were really just trying to figure us out and got the notepad out. And this is this is just the most um this instance is just uh very similar to what you're saying. It's not exactly the same. But I do remember doing that, and I wrote down things that I needed, and then she wrote down things that she needed, and then she gave that to me, and then I gave that to her, and then we talked about it or whatever. Um it worked, it didn't work, but I I feel like it was just because of who we were in that moment, you know, that that that time frame.
SPEAKER_03:But we tried. So y'all went to park and physically wrote less. Physically and then handed each other. And then what so when you read hers, how did you feel? It was valid.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, you know, it was it was valid. There were things on there, definitely, that um that that I should have uh just thought about more. You know, I feel like everyone sometimes gets caught up in what's going on in their perspective versus zooming out and realizing we're both supposed to tackle like this one problem versus like I got an issue when you got an issue. Um so I I think that that was on both sides of that relationship. So uh, but all I was just saying was, you know, I I mean I guess I am a part of a certain amount of people who kind of did something like that. Um but it was it was a cool effort though. It was a cool effort of us sitting down. We we both thought, you know, we were trying, but eventually it just kind of um it it didn't work out for the best, but you know, there was there was effort there.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so did y'all break up immediately? Like, yeah. Well I'm saying that but so that effort was only attempted one time, it sounds like maybe twice. Okay, maybe twice. Okay, and you wouldn't recommend doing that?
SPEAKER_00:I think I think it just depends on who you're with. I I feel like what I'm saying is I don't want to be with somebody where I I gotta think about um like so many different ways to communicate with this person, break it down, as in like I want I want to be with someone who is very in tune emotionally with themselves.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Uh I feel like if two people are like that, then we can sit down and have a conversation, even if both of us have an issue with each other. But if we aren't if we aren't compatible in that area, then it's millions of ways to quote try to figure out uh conversing through that issue.
SPEAKER_03:So what does in tune emotionally mean?
SPEAKER_00:Intune emotionally. So like let's say if I'm talking to somebody and if I'm talking to somebody and they have an issue with me um saying their name with aggression or something, I'm just like throwing something out there, but I don't realize I'm doing that. So when I'm talking to them, I'm like, hey, Justin, I've did it, I don't even realize I'm doing it, but now that's making you triggered. So now you're probably gonna react to that because I wasn't in tune really emotionally of like what I'm doing. And that's what I mean on both sides of the situation. So both of us aren't um understanding each other in an emotional sense, or even just like as a friend, you know, then you're gonna be trying forever. Too many different ways of trying to communicate therapy. Let's sit down, let's look at each other in the eyes, let's write some shit down. Let's I done did a whole bunch of shit trying to figure out how to communicate sometimes. Yeah, it just it depends on who you with for real.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and that that brings a little bit more clarity to you know my past um situations, um, just because it'll be times to where it's like I'm saying, like, hey, be be respectful, be nice. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, like and I'm not saying that like you can't be upset. Those are going so it's to that point to where you're talking about like, hey, Justin, yeah, like if you was to do that, then it's gonna get my attention real quick because that's not, and then I'm like, what's what's going on? You get it? You know, like, and it wouldn't be out of me receiving the energy energy and be mad. It was like, okay, that's not normally who you are, so now I gotta make sure I did something. What did I do wrong? You know, because not because there's an emphasis on why you did that, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:You see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03:If it's new, but like if people are kind of stuck in what a edge over exactly, and that's that's my point, is that where that thing that you just did, it's like, all right, this is a pattern, this is a behavior that I'm seeing, and I'm like, be cognizant of that because I don't like that. Not to say that I might I'm not really upset that you're doing that, but this is not this is not a pattern I like to feel feel like that you're constantly having this aggression. This is not what I want to see my my wife be. Right. Yeah, I just be respectful, be kind. It's easier to get things done that way through me. Yeah, so we when you say when you mention that, it just brings more clarity because it's not just one, this is just a a pattern of aggression that I'm trying to recognize that you're doing and you're you're essentially dismissing it. Yeah. And say, hey, you're tripping. It's like I can see where I'm coming from because I'm bringing up and it seems like it's not, it's uh I'm making a small issue bigger, but it's just a constant pattern of this thing to where I'm like, hey, be kind, be respectful, because if I came to you like that and constantly did that, that would show me of who I am. And it's it doesn't fit, it doesn't. This is not traits of a kind person. You may feel kind inside, and maybe you are, but these those traits that you're showing aren't kind behavior. Yeah, right. You know, that ain't a person who's happy. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I that's what I said before. I think happy people do happy things, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, it's and I didn't, you know, sometimes I can say it and it doesn't necessarily penetrate through, but when you said that, I was like, I maybe should have emphasized that a little bit more. I felt like I did, but I probably didn't.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. So yeah, no, this it's it's I don't know. There's so many different ways of looking at it, and like you gotta give people grace sometimes. Like I I was I was with other people that it's just super hard to talk to. Like to get them to I I would try to talk about something serious just so we could be okay, and then they're like, Yeah, I'm I'm gonna leave. I need some air, and it's just after a while of that, now I'm gonna get upset. And then it's I'm gonna let you leave eventually. Now we're fucked. Because I I don't know, it's just work that needs to be well, it's not even necessarily. I mean, it is work, but what I'm saying more still is uh the fact that we have to both understand like who we are and be aware of what we're being to each other. Because if if not, it's this shit just oh, we're gonna be trying something else next week. If we like really want to be together because of the other things of the relationship, and then you just constantly try new things, you read a new thing, and they say, Oh, we should talk like this. All right, let's try that. We should do this, we should get um see a life coach, we should and then you just trying all these different things versus it's really just y'all being able to sit there and talk to each other in a way that both of y'all like to be talked to.
SPEAKER_03:Do you pride yourself on being real? On being real? Yeah. Um uh what situation is? Uh huh. Let me I miss slightly misspoke. Um, do you think you can be vulnerable on this podcast?
SPEAKER_00:On this podcast, uh, to an extent.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Is there a relationship? I'm gonna ask a question, you can just say yeah, yes or no. Oh, yeah, I'll figure it out. Okay. I got you. I'll figure it out. Is there a relationship that you wish you could do over again?
SPEAKER_00:Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_03:Um and I'm not even saying like she was my girlfriend. I'm saying there was somebody that you talked to that you meant that you wish that you could have either pushed, like pushed more on, or you did something wrong, dismissed her. Like Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, okay. Yes. Okay. Yeah. No, for sure. Yeah. There, there, not that I would want to now. Um, but there are there are some situations that I didn't like how I handled. And um, yeah, I I would want to. It taught me a lot about the ghosting thing. You remember how I told you? Just like I don't I don't like be ghosting people anymore unless it's like a mutual ghost, yeah, a mutual fade out of conversation and stuff like that. But like just straight up not hitting them back and all that, or like I'm gonna get to this in a different manner. Um it just with the with the with the right person, that shit kind of backfires on you. Like after they're gone, then you like, damn, I didn't have to do that. Cause now I'll probably never talk to them again. Yeah. So um that has happened before, where I ghost to somebody and it's just stupid. I should not have done that. But um, I'll never hear from that girl again. I'll never I'll never hear from her ass again. I done tried, I done tried, uh not that, not again, just to clarify, I'm not like the actively trying to get her or anything. You're right, right, right. But there was a time frame where I had ghosts of somebody, and then I was like, ah, shouldn't have done that. Let me hit her up. And then literally, it was just something simple as kind of like, I don't like how you did that or whatever, and we're still friends, we're still cool. And that was the last message I got. I I I figured. Yeah, and I was like, damn, you were cool. You wasn't like no whatever negative term you can think of. You wasn't like nothing crazy. You was you was cool, and that's why I don't yeah, I don't be doing that no more. Because I was like, you they they would never talk to you again for real. Right. If it's the right like person to even have as a friend later on in life, yeah, so that that that's happened with me. What about you?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I how are we doing that? Uh 53. Okay, we need to wrap up here. But uh yeah, so I would say for sure, because there were um now that I'm getting older, one, I handled situations poorly, very poor. Uh-huh. Um, and um so I have uh situations that one, I wish I would have handled them better for their sake. Like, like, hey, she, you know, she was very one of was a girl that was just like a naive girl, not to say there was there was no future in that, but I could have uh communicated better. But I was I was I was 20 years old, you know. I'm like 20 21 years old, and I'm going in on her, and she necessarily probably didn't need to receive it for that that way. So I that I regret um situations that I would like to have back. Um there one two people in particular um that I would do over with. One would be communicating, and I should have gave her a chance to respond instead of doing the ghost sync technique uh because I didn't feel comfortable with the situation, and I'll shed a little light on that. Was like I and I maybe talked about a podcast, stop me if I did. I know you probably know. Um, but it was a story where you know we was hanging out, we had uh came back from um a trip together with a group of us, and then we were hanging out, but apparently she may have been talking to another guy, and he was constantly blowing up the phone, and then you know it got to a point to where I was like, hey, he's the this whoever's calling you, you know, it sounds like you need to answer that because you know this is like his 30th time, not even kidding. It's back to back to back to back. So, and then you know, she picks up the phone, she's like, You ready to box or whatever? And I'm like, No. You know, I didn't say no, I was like, it kind of is what it is, you know. I was like, but you need to talk to him because I was like, Does he have a gun? Possibly, like, all right, well, I'm dying for this. You know what I mean? So it after that, I kind of left that situation and never responded back until later. We're still cool now, but but nonetheless, I wish I would have gave her a chance to respond from that because that, you know, I've known her forever, and um it shouldn't have ended like that. But the one that I felt like um that there was um a tr a truly good person who was in our age was a pretty effective communicated communicator, intelligent. This is back in college. I can say her name, you know who I'm talking about, um, for other reasons. And it was not knowing what I know now, childish of how I handle it for the person that she was to me. Uh-huh. Like, because she true we went back since high school, and she truly was a good person and um um one of my friends. And you know, we went further um beyond that, and she really liked me, and I liked her, but for the the issue, I definitely um like dang, if no one would I know that she would have been a good wife, and she probably is a good wife to somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so that one I could none of these, I'm like, you know, like mad that I didn't figure it out, but one that's like, you know what? I wonder what what another life would have looked like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Because that one I wouldn't have been like, hey, she would have been a good person to me, care, cared a lot, could do a lot of things well. And um, so to answer your question, yes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, no, that that that is definitely uh uh I thought that shit was inside. Um but no, that that is something.
SPEAKER_03:Um and and it's and I'll add on that there's like so many people in the future that can also offer that too. You know, like like the people that I meet and talk to like are really, you know, like because you know, when driving Uber, you're meeting a ton of different people, ton of personalities, and there's just a lot of people who are enjoyable to talk to. Yeah, so you know, I think that what's gonna be for us, because you want to be married too, right? Yeah at some point.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, at some point, yeah, right, right.
SPEAKER_03:So so I think what is everything is meant to be is supposed to be. Yeah. So it's just now every situation, I think we just need to make it intentional for us to learn and grow. No, no, facts. Yeah, like hey, we need to make sure that we relook of how we react to how we handle the situations, how we could have changed going forward and apply that to our next relationship. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:No, yeah, everything is definitely um some type of lesson in it. That's that's kind of how I I look at it. Like every I I think I told you, like every connection that I have, it just seems something is um like like mirroring in a way of of my personality or spirit or like something is there. So I I do actively want to treat them with um, you know, the same respect that I would want. Uh and not just do like wrong to people. Like that doesn't it don't be sitting with me well um whenever I have. So yeah, yeah, I I think it's just an act of uh active uh decision just to be better and the relationships that you have with people.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. Yeah. Well, I think this is a good episode. Yeah, right at 59. Uh absolutely. Well, this is two for the culture, and we'll be back. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.