Two for the Culture
Two for the Culture is brought to you be Steven Rey and Justin Devonte. This is the podcast for the ages! Both Steve and Justin has been friends for over a decade plus and will give you a genuine approach on news and culture with humor and love. I promise this will be one of your favorite podcasts that you will not get enough of!
Two for the Culture
Bonnie Blu and What Would You Do for 10 Mil
Two friends open up about grief at funerals, quiet holidays, and where money collides with values. We weigh marriage hopes against modern dating fatigue, laugh through a late‑night lounge story, and draw firm lines on consent and brand integrity.
• how family shows up at funerals and why emotions surge
• the difference between support, spectacle and boundaries
• holiday plans, co‑parenting logistics and simple gifts
• setting a moral line before big offers appear
• wealth without flash, freedom over status
• dating standards rising with success and experience
• why marriage takes tools, not just chemistry
• long‑distance limits and lessons after breakups
• consent, safety and reading the room on nights out
And we are back with another episode of two for the culture. I'm Justin Devante. Stephen Ray. And we are back. How you doing?
SPEAKER_03:Doing well. Doing well. How was your uh what what what'd you do this weekend?
SPEAKER_00:Um, just really work. We're not a little bit later with you, but that was pretty much it. I had a um one of my co-workers had a funeral to go to, so I wind up taking her Saturday. So it was like working from 1 to 10 p.m. Saturday and then end up driving after that. Otherwise, I would have had a um uh a Saturday off, which would have been good because we work every other Saturday. Oh yeah, like a rotation.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I thought you were saying that you took her to the funeral.
SPEAKER_00:Oh no. I was like, how is that?
SPEAKER_03:I didn't know people did that.
SPEAKER_00:Take her to the funeral?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, just like, oh yeah, I got you. I'll take you to like somebody else's funeral. Oh, okay. Yeah, like if I had a friend and I didn't know anything about, well, not even a friend, coworker. Yeah. If I had a coworker and they're like, my whoever died, can you take me? You know, like would that be awkward for you?
SPEAKER_00:Nah, not really. I mean, really? Well, I mean, I guess it would be awkward depending on our relationship. Like if it was me and her relationship, I would find that interesting. But um, like, say if you remember Corey from Amazon. Yeah. If he had a if he had a uh funeral that I can see myself going to because we met at Amazon, but we always cool and close. Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That's a different level. Yeah, exactly. So it just depends on the relationship. Yeah. Um, so I wouldn't say, yeah, because you relationships build over time, you have friendship, and then they're also your co-worker, but also a friend.
SPEAKER_03:So it's but I just see I I just visually like see me just sitting in the back and everybody just crying, you know. I mean that that's that's just the thought that I had.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, some people, you know, just pay their respects, you know, they may not know the person who's there, but they're just lending support. I mean, because you gotta think about people who work at the funeral home too. They don't know who yeah, that's their profession for real. Yeah, exactly. So I'm just saying there's gonna be strangers there regardless.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I wonder what they've seen, actually. Everything. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm saying, like, like how many stories do they have of shit going wrong at the funeral? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. A couple of uh random girlfriends show up that nobody ever knew about.
SPEAKER_00:And there's video, and you know, she I think she'd like to jump in that casket with him and like the family beat her up or something crazy like that. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they've seen it all.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, you remember showing up that nobody knows who this kid is.
SPEAKER_00:You you remember the casket where the uh the dead body broke out and then it rolled down the hill?
SPEAKER_03:That's a movie, right?
SPEAKER_00:I think that happened in real life too.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, okay. No, I I I remember something like that happening in one of them movies. I'm sure too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Rock.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's what I feel like, yeah, but I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00:What the fuck is that movie called?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Sag to the Entertainer. I think he's in it. Yeah. One of the movies. Yeah, so thinking type.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, everything's happened at a funeral because those are remote people's emotions high, people who didn't get along, people who you could have done better to save his life. You had him, you know, he could have been on a diet. You know, there's a mini thing. You caused it because it was a car accident. You know, there's just so many ways to die. And so they seen it all.
SPEAKER_03:Did I did I tell you where my uh grandma, my white grandma, when she died, um, this is this is of course uh uh a story that was told down to me. But one um aunt or like one side of the family, we never really talked to them. Um you you could kind of tell why. But when my grandma died, you know, the whole family's there. That side of the family's there. And when she went up, she tried to place a medallion over her. Like over her her her her chest. Like she tried to do that shit like real sneaky like. I think she was like one of the last people to go up there. And you're talking about to view the body. Yeah, to view the body.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that thought you were saying like when she was speaking.
SPEAKER_03:Oh no, no, no, no. Okay, I gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she uh she tried to slide that in there. And I I from what I know or from from how the story is told, it seemed like some demonic type thing that she tried to like slide on her and put it in her grave. Yeah, before she before she went down. And then uh either my dad or somebody else like took the shit and uh uh got rid of it. Oh like before they closed the casket.
SPEAKER_00:That that's why so when you talk about the demonic thing, she was like wishing evil on this one. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:I don't because I was I was it was oh eight.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so this wasn't that long ago. I mean, now it kind of is.
SPEAKER_03:I mean 08, you was 16. That was 20 years ago. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, okay. It's not like you were seven, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So uh but again, like I I didn't I didn't visually see it, but somebody in the family told me. Oh, okay. So it was like uh somebody told something to so I don't know the full story of it. I gotcha, but she definitely tried to slide some shit in there. So the uh crazy things must must happen during a uh during during the funeral. I feel like if everybody was black, that would have been a different turnout. Somebody trying to slide some shit like that on Granny.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've been to a funeral that my uh my mom was a guy who used to talk to, his former stepson killed him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. This was back in college. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that was a wild time. Oh my god. I know. So you gotta think about like the ex-wife wanting to see, you know, maybe her ex-husband. Maybe I don't I can't remember the details. I don't think she showed up for the funeral, but nonetheless, if that's the case to where that could happen, like your son killed and you're here. You know what I mean? That could that could have been crazy. Yeah, yeah. So situations along those lines that you know, if you're how many funeral homes are there? Like black ones, maybe four or five around in Nashville, if that much. So you're constantly seeing these, you know, one-of-one situations that happen. You know, of course it's gonna be your roundabout die of um regular causes. Yeah, but you know, you got those uh those car accidents, you know, those drinking heart attacks, and you know what I mean. So they've seen it all.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's that's that's definitely a lot. Yeah, I I don't I don't really like funerals for real. Nah, I'm I'm with you on that. Uh especially like the closer you are to not even the person that passed, but the people there. I remember going to um uh one of my exes, her grandmother passed, and it was just seeing people that you like love and all that just completely break the fuck down. Like you could you could see a part of them like leaving their themselves, or like there's an emptiness now. That's that's that's that's kind of tough to look at.
SPEAKER_00:Definitely the ones that are gone to soon. Like when my um um Essie, who's my great-grandmother when she passed, you know, those are one of those situations to where she lived a full life. Uh-huh. Like she was 88, 90, something like that. Yeah, so she's lived a full life. So you you know that one you don't I didn't really break down from because it's just those situations where you don't see it coming, you know, and those are just the toughest ones. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, I think. Um But yeah, what so Christmas is this week? Yeah, what's the plan?
SPEAKER_03:Um really nothing for me this time. This time. Um, yeah, I'm gonna just be here. I'm gonna just be here in Nashville. Uh Kaya's gonna spend Christmas with her family. I mean, her immediate, whatever you call it. Like my mother's side. Yeah. So she's spending Christmas with them, and then I'll get her after that and take her. There's this, there's a couple of things that I wanted to do. There's this place uh at the Gaylord.
SPEAKER_02:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03:With the Christmas lights? Yeah, Chris the Christmas stuff. Kids can get on these ice slides and stuff like that. So I'll probably take her there. Um You may have to get a ticket beforehand.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Okay, you already cool.
SPEAKER_03:So um yeah, I think that runs to like the first or second of January. But yeah, that's that's pretty much pretty much my plans.
SPEAKER_00:Are they open Christmas Day? I don't know. I ain't really checked. Okay, I was just not for Christmas Day. Yeah, yeah. And because that's when you're having it. Or you're having a day after you're brand new. After Christmas.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, she's spending Christmas with her people.
SPEAKER_00:And then I'll Okay, I thought you were saying then I'm getting her later on that night. Uh, but you're saying the 26th.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, like 26, 27th. Oh, okay. Something like that. Actually, but um yeah, because I had her for Thanksgiving, like for that that whole what was it, like a week or cover that whatever. Took her everywhere, family. That was super dope. How are you with uh Christmas rapping? Christmas rapping, um uh uh uh I could be a little better. I could be a little better. Only I only rapped one. She got like five. Um five or so for me. So I I do have to tap back into that uh skill. Is there a Christmas list that she made? So she she she made a Christmas list and then she ran out of space on her iPad.
unknown:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03:So like I told her just take a picture and send it to me.
unknown:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03:And then she's like, I don't have any space, I can't do it. I'm like, well, what do you want? And she only said like two things.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So she's like, yeah, LOL dolls and and um something else, maybe some shoes or something.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So I just got like a bunch of those.
SPEAKER_00:I got you.
SPEAKER_03:I got you. Yeah. So she she definitely gonna be happy. It's it's it's dope. I'm pretty uh she's gonna be excited.
SPEAKER_00:Outside of that, are you giving anybody else Christmas gifts?
SPEAKER_03:No, not uh yeah, I really should get better at that. I really should change that that that mentality in my mind. Because I I feel like after after being a teenager, just my whole family stopped doing gifts for real. Like any day. Like birthdays, this, that, like it's usually just hey, happy birthday, or Merry Christmas. That's it. So I'm used to that now. And I don't realize it till somebody else says something about them. They're like, yeah, you know, I got my dad this, and I got uh my and I'm like, oh shit, yeah. I I I should still do that. You know, or it does feel like I I can put more effort into that. And I don't even realize I I didn't even think about it now until right now that we're talking about it. Because I'm like, no, this is about Kaya. Kai, this is Christmas. Yeah, so I I definitely should get better at that. Do you be getting your family uh stuff?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well, um yeah, my granny wants money. Yeah, she wants she wants money, yeah. So she'll get that, and then my uh my mom, I'll give her something as well. And then my your little sisters, I'll probably give him some money too. But that's kind of really the extent of how I go. Yeah, I don't yeah, like my dad, um, he gets too much from me year round, you know. I do not feel bad about getting because I one, you know, not only that he's not giving me anything, and that's oh totally okay. But two is I get him stuff here. He asks for favors constantly. Uh-uh. So there's no need for me to have something set planned for him. Yeah. Right. So yeah. I do my I do my part. And then, you know, and then a part of me, I'm glad I don't get as much gifts because I then I'll feel obligated to get them something as well.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's gonna it's gonna throw me off. Yeah. Like if if somebody in my family or whatever gets me a gift, I'm gonna be like, oh, we're doing this. Yeah, oh my god.
SPEAKER_00:Now I gotta figure figure out how to come up with something from Walgreens real quick. No, that's actually hilarious that you said that. That was a uh question I wanted to bring up to you. Uh because you the bunny blue, you know, did you hear about the bunny blue situation to where she was like in the Maldives or somewhere out of the country where she's not even from here, but it was like some South Asian country, and then she got arrested because she had like this bang bros type of bus. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. And then she was like picking up young men to have sex with her on film and stuff like that. Uh as the story goes. Um, but then she got arrested, and like I think what I think it's like banned to do anything like that in that country, and then you can face up to 10 years. Shit. But that was just a quick synopsis. But it had my question to you is is there any amount of money that you'll pay to be on camera and have sex with a woman?
SPEAKER_03:To pay to be on camera?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Is there is there like if someone's like, hey, a million dollars? Make a uh one night with Ray. Welcome to Ray's room.
SPEAKER_03:Um a certain amount of money? I don't think so. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So 10 million can do it.
SPEAKER_03:It ain't even about uh it's not it's not ever really it's not ever really about the money for me with certain situations. Um yeah, usually in my mind, if I say like would I do this normally? And if the answer is no, then it's just an automatic no. Because like what's the difference for me? Like what you mean of of my life like before then. Like I was I wasn't gonna have that 10 mil anyway, so I still was gonna have to do everything that I I'm just trying to make myself feel better. Now I'm remembering now I'm remembering Dave Chappelle sit down. I think it was on Oprah or some shit. Then he was like, What's the difference between me staying in America and then me leaving to go to Africa for 20 years? And he was like, uh, and then a dude asked him, it was like, you know, you could have made like 40 million. So like what what's the difference? He said 40 million dollars. So now I'm thinking like, damn, the difference is like a 10 million. I don't think I would. Okay, I got you. I don't think I usually I'm pretty I I haven't had any crazy situations to where I had to turn down money for something, but money don't like move me like that. But I yeah, but it's like on camera, so now like my brand is gonna have that attached to it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but you got a$10 million brand.
SPEAKER_03:You know, now my brand$10 million, I could just just wipe it from the internet.
SPEAKER_00:Nah, I'm just saying, yeah, you you build up to money like that. So your brand is that's the ultimate goal. If I said, hey, you'll have$10 million by$40, um, you will you would love that. Like, oh, this is why I built my brand up to get to money like that. So if you automatically getting that, who cares about what your brand ultimately stands for? Because that was the money you were trying to get in the first place, if that makes sense. Yeah, this is the brand. I'm just throwing that out there. But I'll t I do agree with you. Yeah. Um, is that it's like my reputation, my family, you know, um, the people I got church members I go with. Oh yeah. I did this for money. But it to your point is what you're saying is I never had$10 million to begin with, so I don't know what it feels like to have$10 million. It's kind of what it sounded like you were saying.
SPEAKER_03:Um it's just saying I was gonna continue whatever path I'm on anyway. So like I don't know. Like that's that's it's just kind of uncharted territory to where I don't know what's on the other side of that versus but I do know where I'm going right now. Like I know where I'm going and what steps I probably gotta take and whatever. But that route, I don't know what's gonna happen. Like there's no predictability to know like tomorrow I could be all over the internet with this thing, and then maybe to me, you better be all over the internet, you know, yeah, and then just blow up that kind of way. I uh I don't, you know, I I got Ray in my name, but I ain't like Ray J for real.
SPEAKER_00:I got you, right?
SPEAKER_03:Like he he he they cold for that shit. I ain't gonna lie. Kim K and all them, but they they were rich enough to where they could like maneuver. You know what I'm saying? But um I don't think I don't think I would, though, would you for a certain amount of money?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's what I was saying. No, I agree. I wouldn't because 100 million? 100 million, uh, I wouldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah. And I it wouldn't really be I think it would be a quick no, too. Yeah. Cause I remember you you remember um I told you about the time to where the lady gave me her debit card when I was Uber driving, like how much is it gonna pay to stop? So that didn't come with a camera. And I was like, nah. No, if she was if I was to say 300, she's like, yeah, you know what I mean? Like, that's like no type of bounce back on me. Like, nobody has to know that. You see what I'm saying? So if I didn't do it for something that one, ultimately, she was cute enough to where I would have done it for free. Um, and not if like, nah, I'm cool. So I wouldn't do it for, hey, this is damage to my reputation.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And, you know, at the end of the day,$100 million is a lot of money. Don't get me wrong. Um, but I, you know, I know how I am already and the actions and the mistakes that I have that eats me up. I can only imagine this whole thing that, you know, all over the internet and will be for the rest of my life, how that would do to me. And what I was willing to morally change my values for for money. Yeah. And it'll be hard to live with myself in that way.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, every time you spend, it's like it could be this, this, this dopamine hit, but also like this uh what's it called? Bittersweet moment every time I swipe my card, type shit.
SPEAKER_00:Right, right. I would have felt like somewhat, I imagine, of course, nobody's throwing$100 million. Oh, yeah, right. So I just won't always be like, yeah, humbly say, yeah, I I don't know exactly. But most likely, um that$100 million. I would I would feel like, hey, I take what's the word I'm looking like. One, I am definitely just morally corrupt. Um, but I would I would have definitely felt like I would have cheated myself. Yeah, yeah. Like, no, so my soul is really what ultimately what I would feel like I would have done.
SPEAKER_03:Like on some spiritual type shit.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Um, but yeah. So no, that yeah, that was actually you said what? 100 million is crazy. Oh yeah, 100 million is stupid. You would change your mind at the 100 million. I was I I don't think I would. I gotcha.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I don't think I would.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Because you very correct me if I'm wrong, you very much want a rich lifestyle. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yes. And and that's not ultimately what I see myself. Like I would love to have the money as a rich as a rich man would. But, you know, I don't see myself like having a rich lifestyle. Mm mm. Yeah. Because you like how big you want a mansion?
SPEAKER_03:Uh the house thing always kinda gets to me, but like how many cars? I ain't really tripping off that. Okay. Yeah, I I'd like I'd like a few couple cars. If I have jewelry, it wouldn't be no big ass chain. It would just be like a nice little tennis bracelet. Watches. Um yeah, I'll just I'll just have like certain I'll have certain nice things, but I I think my my thing is more so is is uh what designer what designer clothes designer clothes sure some some things but not like a big ass LV where you know like hey I'm rich. Yeah those big ass logos and shit I don't care for that I got you but if it's nice clothes and this shit feels nice yeah you know but they don't have to have like the Givenchy Yeah like big as fuck like I have money Yeah I got you that I I never was a fan of that I got you um yeah like less less logos so you more like hey I want a housekeeper in my house you know a driver type of thing but it doesn't have to be crazy yeah it only got to be crazy I I I'm like a chef a s I'd like a chef that'd be dope that'll be dope um yeah I'm just not I'm not like a super flashy person but I do like nice things I think the main thing for me is just simply freedom I just want to be financially free I got you yeah so what's whenever if I wake up and I do want a Porsche or whatever I could just get it but I'm not the person that's gonna be like okay I got the Porsche in red I need the Lambo in red I need the this in red I ain't I ain't like that do you picture a wife do I picture a wife yeah like or do you like is it more of a bachelor lifestyle that you see yourself in like we envision the future as a woman next year uh I guess it's kind of blurry now it is a little blurry now it used to be it used to be really concrete like boom wife kids I still had this vision in my head of how I would love to Christmas day the kids we got like maybe a two-story house or whatever and then they coming down the stairs the dog coming down the everybody goes to the tree and that whole thing I do love that everybody got magic pajamas like the the the family thing I do love that um it is kind of getting harder for me to envision it if I were to tell the truth like I don't know I don't know it's just like are you getting a little less optimistic on slick okay I don't know why though I'm not really sure why um it just feels like something like that would have to be so rare you know to to actually want to because I did I I I have gotten to a point with a woman to um excuse me uh to a point with a woman to to ask for her hand in marriage so like after after you kind of get to that point and it doesn't really go through now I'm like ten times as cautious as I was back then because not not even just because of how it went but like my whole life could be completely different right now. Like and I do love the thought of being with a woman and you know all that type of shit but there's pros and cons to being single and um being in a relationship like a committed relationship. And sometimes I bounce back and forth on do I really want to stay in this super committed long-term thing um I think it just depends on the woman and I haven't met her so I I think that's what it is more so because I I'll say that sometimes like I don't want a girlfriend da da da da da da but sometimes a girl will pop up and I'm like yo I gotta kind of get with her it has a I guess I mean when you because you was out of a relationship how long?
SPEAKER_00:When was your last relationship?
SPEAKER_03:Last relationship was probably like four months actually being together we talked for maybe five I'm talking about like a year ago.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah yeah yeah exactly a year ago okay I got yeah that's crazy yeah and so I think just out of that relationship is like because I haven't seen you like I've seen you maybe get excited but in terms of like hey this is the one like it hasn't and but maybe it it takes time to find that too yeah yeah so no I I get that that's that's fair you have to envision that person to be there but but you can still very much still want kids and a family and a wife but like when I when I'm when I talk to you and we do the podcast and you know we hang out it you know it just seems like hey I'm maybe in this bachelor lifestyle for a minute.
SPEAKER_03:I can um it's it's it's really just meeting the girl yeah it's just it it would have to be a certain type of girl but I feel like every relationship I'm I've been in or as well as situations that I've been in now it's just like every time it's a new girl that I may um have a liking for it's almost like my patience for um wanting to try it out or or to pursue somebody and all that it's just it's way less now. It's like every single girl that I talk to my patience to like be in something committed is less and less and less and less and less and yeah like I just be sensing shit immediately like the the uh how how you call her Miss Parker yeah it's just like uh when I first started talking to uh uh her or anybody that was kind of like her and just just off of just normal conversation at first I could just tell this shit ain't gonna go nowhere like you you fine but like there are certain things that make me feel one is seen and safe and that shit is is just rare and I on top of all that I gotta like you as like as much as you like me. So it just seems more and more and more rare as time goes on and I'm gonna keep climbing in this whole thing this whole like industry and the everything that I'm doing I'm gonna keep like each year trying to reach a new and new new level but like that gives you more options too just being completely honest. Like that gives you more and more options any the the the more success that a man has is just more and more options. So I'm not saying that as an excuse of that's why I'm never getting married. I'm not saying that but it just seems like every year it's kind of that concrete thought in my head of no I want a wife da da da da da is not as strong.
SPEAKER_00:So I I don't know if it's society making me like that or it's these women that's making me feel like that yeah yeah but I mean I think that you um correct me if I'm wrong but there's a lot of women out there that like you maybe they're they're in separate states they're maybe all over the country all over the globe you know and does that do you consider that or like in terms of your brand is like hey do they like me for this?
SPEAKER_03:No I can usually a little bit okay yeah yeah you you can you can usually tell like when somebody has interest in you like then the conversation it's not like all about I don't know being fascinated or whatever. I usually don't even have conversations with people that can kind of be like that like a fan. Yeah I don't usually have conversations like that. I probably wouldn't even get a girl number if it was like oh my God like I love everything about you and da da da da da da da da da da da and you don't even know me. So I usually don't even have conversations like that. But um yeah it does kind of make me sad a little bit that I'm not as strong on the or not not as not as not as concrete with my answer of no for sure for a fact I want a wife and da da da da da da da I do want it in my soul I could feel that shit when it's just the four walls and then shit when the silence is loud it's like damn I really would love to have somebody here and not just somebody but like somebody who loves me right in your last relationship did you have deep conversations?
SPEAKER_00:Uh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we did it wasn't um I don't know like that relationship kind of went by quick okay let me let me ask a more specific question did you have um conversations about insecurities that you have within yourself?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah okay yeah yeah yeah no I definitely was uh okay yeah I I would have to get to that point to um to really uh open up and like somebody um that's why I say it's rare for me to even feel like I can be with a person for real uh because that vulnerability that's like a whole different that's when that's when I can tell I can tell when I'm in love with somebody when I feel super vulnerable and then when shit start to make me mad that don't use like I wouldn't care. I gotcha. Yeah right it's like damn she said she was gonna text me back two hours ago the fuck and I'm like why do I then I'll check my wait a minute why how did I even get here right like yeah a couple weeks ago I didn't even care.
SPEAKER_00:Right now I'm like bro bitch where where you at yeah right your clothes are folded at my house yeah um nah but what what what about you about the wife thing like did you you just dead set you could just see it perfectly still um I see a ultimate me being married for sure yeah yeah um I'm not actively like seeking but that's something I do want I do want kids I do want to have a future and build with somebody um and ultimately what I'm really looking for is somebody that is genuinely interested in me like they're asking questions about my family my family ancestry you know me growing up just wanting the intrigue of getting to know me um and then you know of course my best you know best interest considers me and respectful and kind and everything else if we have if I have that personality trait from her then everything else we can kind of build together you know because you know of course we're gonna be less not patient and there's gonna be some things that we're gonna be selfish about and you know but if that foundation is built like hey she's kind you know she she's uh great conversationalist she's she's smart you know everything else is kind of builds around that and that's sets for strange uh same strong Christian values then I you know but of course she also has to be attracted to me now for some reason I'm just giving the character trait of what I would like to see and I don't know if that's is when you hear that I'm I feel like I'm making it sound simple but do you feel like that's it's rare okay super rare like I like yeah and on top of that it has to be somebody that you know you you know for a fact that you're gonna fall in and out of love with this person.
SPEAKER_03:I mean I could be thinking about this pessimistically but I just feel like if I'm if I'm marrying a person first of all I got a whole lot of sides to me or like I have a few different sides to me and I could be super lovey dovey then I could also like be tired of doing this and I just want to be to myself and that it so I have multiple different sides to me that means that she's gonna have multiple different sides to her and if I were to marry somebody I would have to know off rip that this is a person that I can fall in and out of love with for the rest of my life so like that's hard to say fall in and out of love with what do you mean? And like I just feel like it's human nature or the even from when I speak to older couples and stuff it for the most part it seems like there's a cycle to it it's not linear it's like this this this uh cyclical like story of uh we're attracted to each other we we love each other some shit went sour now we kind of mad at each other we're not fucking with each other for a little while we find a love again we now we back loving each other we did it sounds like that's usually the story of or the usual story of marriage I could be wrong but from the most part of what I have seen witnessed and um heard about from married couples who've been married for a very very long time it seems like it's that type of thing so to it's too many factors for me to feel like if I if I if I if I find a woman and she's like all these traits there's also the can I be with you forever trait and that's just that's just hard.
SPEAKER_00:Do you it sound you know it sounds to me like your last relationship kind of deterred you from like hey it's gonna be tough to find the way I feel about her somebody else it wasn't necessarily her it's it's kind of a combination of all my past relationships.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Yeah because again because I didn't I didn't ask to marry her right but yeah I asked to marry the the girl before her right so even getting to that point and all that sitting down with the family looking the dad in the eyes and the like that's a huge ass step you know what I'm saying and to get back there like I wasn't as I wasn't as um aware as I am now and probably with them too just to level it out but I I wasn't as aware of what it would take to keep me happy until I went through all of that. So it's like to I don't know just to to to get to that point with a woman it it would take me a lot more than it did back then. Like probably ten times as much and the reason that I keep saying it depends on a girl is because of the second girl after um after that that that that main relationship that I had and she just kind of came out of nowhere and I was just like oh my god there's all these qualities I didn't even see in a woman before and all that type of shit.
SPEAKER_00:So which means that there are women out there I mean it's eight billion people like somebody's out there that's the or it could be a number of people that's out there that's like can be perfectly mixed with the personalities and how complex uh that we are as individuals to be able to to to to to hold on to like a long term committed relationship but that shit is just super rare I don't I that's that's just that shit that shit rare I don't know how to feel safe like with your ex um your most recent ex-girlfriend um would you if you was to do it I guess it's a two part question would you do it over and would you if so would you change what you did how you handle or or do you feel like you handled it the best you could have at that time oh I definitely handled that the best I could okay yeah um but it uh I can't say I would do it again because it just it never was gonna work.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Yeah like I told you like the another time like yeah I'm saying all these like great qualities about her and stuff and yeah I I I was attracted to that but there was a whole bunch of other stuff going on that I couldn't I had no not even no control over but there was there are some situations it's nothing you could do like to to try to better the situation so yeah so like that that just wasn't a situation where um uh uh uh that that I feel like it could be fixed for real unless we we met at each we met each other at maybe a different time of our life maybe but the way that relationship was that shit was never gonna uh go past a certain point if do you think it would have changed if you if she was here in Nashville went further naturally okay yeah naturally because it that was long distance uh yeah that was long distance and we didn't we really didn't see each other often like that so um yeah it was kind of like it was kind of like playing catch up every time we saw each other I got you yeah it's like our relationship was moving forward but like the the the physical world part like that was dragging behind so anytime we met up it's kind of like damn we supposed to be way more in love with each other and all this in person but we haven't seen each other you know so like the the the the she had mentioned one time she was like sometimes I feel like I'm just in a virtual relationship or just like I'm in a relationship with my phone which it was kind of like that.
SPEAKER_00:So if there was something that I would change it definitely would be a be around more but again it was never I don't think it was ever gonna work out I got you yeah I did I definitely wanted to spend something back around um that you had asked me uh uh um yeah have you ever talked to somebody where you just knew for a fact like this is just no matter how you felt you just knew this this is never gonna work out yeah yeah um it was never gonna work out I felt like that with um the not this only had two girlfriends but not this past relationship the one before that like I loved her intensely and I you know I I just knew personality was that she wasn't the person I could spend my rest of my life with because she she had a lot to grow she had a lot of trauma how we grew up or our mentality was different in that I was like you know she's not you know not a wife but I love her so much I'm willing it I was like this thing is gonna have to crash and burn yeah before I'm what going to jump out even though I know it's not gonna be long term but I love her and I want it to be long term it's just that my analytical mind just already can see it like you know the numbers are crunching and like bruh there you know how you have uh what's the what's the guy with the uh Marvel that has a Doctor Strange and then he's like yeah have you seen you see you have to see Avengers Avengers endgame to where he's like he know he moves his head around he's like there's only one way We can beat Thanos. I populated this a million times. Yeah, yeah. So I'm doing that in our relationship. I'm like, yeah, they uh yeah, there's only one situation to where this could actually work, and me would I would have to give up myself to be damn near a slave to the relationship.
SPEAKER_03:Do you think um that do you think that it's necessary for men to have to go through that? Cause that because that happened with me too. Like the I I was in a certain relationship and the shit crashed and burned, but that was the only way I was gonna get out. I was way too committed. Like there was no way I was gonna break up.
SPEAKER_00:I think I mean I I think that um helps build character experience, and sometimes you need that experience. Like the thing about my last relationship is that I didn't have the experience, I didn't have the tools to actually handle the situation. I like may look at things logically as like, why are you mad right here? I only did this thing, and that would be like now I'm gonna wave off your concern because I feel like you're just you know what I mean, like it's stupid to get mad at this situation, so I can't even take it seriously. Um, rather than have the tools to be like, okay, all she needs is a hug. You know what I mean? Like, it's not that big of a deal. You like so it's like trying to train train a stallion when this is your first day on a job. It's like you there ain't no manual you gonna read to train the stallion. So it's like I'm figuring out on the fly and I'm failing. You know, yeah. And so you know, I'm making my mistakes, but it's also a wild stallion. So like it's damn near it's hard to break in. You know what I mean? Like, so that takes like if this was my fifth wild stallion, I'd be like, okay, I know how to kind of handle it, you know, but I didn't. So this is my first wild stallion. Uh really, you know, at a 10-year break. It's not like riding a bike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, okay, I don't it's easier for me to relinquish myself in this relationship because like a wild stallion, you can get injured. It's like I'm getting my ass kicked. You know what I mean? Like, like I gotta protect myself. And this trying to tame this wild stallion ain't worth it right at this moment. Like, maybe if I get my experience up, or now I can step away from the job and then look like you know what? I could have, you know, held it down this way. And that actually may work. But when you're in it, you you just you're like you're like you you're in a pool and you don't know how to swim, you just fill flail in your arms. Yeah, you're trying to figure it out, and hopefully you can make it to shore. And so, but now it's like now that I'm three months removed, it's like, okay, I could have done this better. Is that is that still worth being in that relationship? Maybe, maybe not, but um, and maybe that's something maybe I should take to my other. But now that I'm out of it, it's like, okay, my next stallion or whatever, I know how to kind of tame it a little bit better because I've had somewhat experience and I've been able to see, okay, even though they're completely different stallions, they always kind of behave in this general manner. Yeah. And it's not just a her situation or her situation, it's just a you know, hey, women are women, men are men. Yeah. Um, so if that was a good if that was, I feel like a good analogy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:No, no, I I definitely get that. That's that's uh, I I just remember, you know, we got another friend, um, I don't know if his like crash and burned at the end, but um I just be thinking men need to see that or feel that sometimes. And it it's like after that happens, then you're hyper-aware of when things are kind of going south or um when things need to be changed, or you know, this might not be the person for you. They might have all these qualities, but like you could tell this is gonna lead to that eventually. Like, I I don't even need to you know be around too much, start liking you for real. Right, right. So, no, that that definitely helped me for sure. That's what I'm saying. It's like with these past relationships and meeting people and all that, it's just kind of like it's just harder. It's just it's way harder. Because I'm gonna be thinking way in the future. I've already proposed to somebody before. So, like, whatever flaws you have, I'm looking way in the future on this. Like, can I deal with that later? You know, this is gonna be a problem. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be a problem if yeah, yeah. So I definitely learned a lot from from different situations.
SPEAKER_00:I know totally. So we got you know, we don't got too much longer. So I wanted to dive into our other part of the weekend and just have a question based off of that. So yesterday we went out for a little bit. You know, I got off work and I was like, hey Steve, you still, you know, you still up? You know, I'm trying to go to this one particular place because um as I was Uber driving, I was uh uh this guy who worked with I forgot the gaming place. Up now? No, no, not that it's uh like I have to escape room. That's yeah. So uh I dropped him off. He's like, Yeah, they closed at 4 a.m. I was like, okay. I was like, I'm kind of peeping in there, it's like it don't look like nobody's in there. But I'm gonna check it out as soon as I have like a m uh a Monday off, then I'm gonna go try to go there Sunday. So I hit you up and uh we we head there. Yeah, yeah. And how was how was the vibe to you? It was called pressure uh yeah at mid time.
SPEAKER_03:It it was cool, it was different. It was like okay, this is the opposite end of um just a bar. Like it was the complete opposite. And you know, instead of uh drinking beer and you know, you you order your favorite drink and all that, people just come chill there just to smoke. That was different. The vibe was different. I I I was like I was really paying attention to everything in there because it it wasn't the same. It wasn't like a a big vibe, you know what I'm saying, or or or loud music or any of that. It was just it was really chill. And I felt like some of the people in there was healthier. Like I was looking at the uh dude, the main dude who was serving us, then my skin was just like so clear.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:You know, like you go to a bar, you you see certain bartenders, you know that they smoke cigarettes and they you could just tell. It was just like a cleaner, cleaner environment. So it was new, it was new to me. I never like sat down, smoked, and then just watched something, and it was just us for real there. Well in the back anyway.
SPEAKER_00:Um so I didn't I in my head when I first dropped dude off, I was like, okay, this looks like a like a CBD hookah spot. It's what I was kind of hoping it would be. Uh-huh. But it was like a CBD smoke shop type of vibe. So, you know, we walk in, you know, I see two two guys kind of cuddled up with each other, and then I see another guy on the couch, and then I'm like, okay. You're like, hey, I've never been here before. Where's the you know, the the check-in spot? Where, you know, where's the the host? And then like they put it back there, you know. Okay, cool, appreciate it. So we get back there, and then he kind of gives us a spill of what's kind of going on. You like, hey, we got a dab bar over here. Yeah, as like, okay, so if we smoke here, um then we can just smoke inside. If we purchase something, we can smoke inside. And so that was just kind of the vibe. So about a discounted joint real quick, because I haven't smoked in a year. Um, and so smoke was chilling, was a good vibe. We I'm joking, you know. It was of course it didn't take me long to start feeling it. Yeah, yeah. But I'm like, okay, I'm getting a little tired. You ready to head out? Yeah. So we head out. You know, so as as I'm walking out, you know, I'm just seeing who's around. So I looked to my right. I was looking to my left, one of the gay dudes passed out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Then I looked to my right, and then I see the two gay dudes looking. I just head head out, like, uh, you know, peace out. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, just being respectful and nice. Yeah, yeah. So we get half day halfway down in my car. Then uh when a gay dude opens the door, and then what'd he say? Uh he said, y'all leaving and I was like, Yeah, we gone for the day. Yeah, yeah. He like, for real. For real. Yeah, I felt like a bad bitch instantly. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. And I was like, yeah, yeah. It's like, no, we tired, you know what I mean? And then like it felt obviously awkward. You know what I mean? Then he he had that shut the door. I was like, Dad, like, like, fuck y'all too. Yeah, yeah. You know how niggas be like, yeah, you're ugly anyway.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. That would have been funny. That would have been funny. Nah, I went to sleep laughing at that shit. Me too. That shit was too funny. We clearly had to be high a little bit. Because this this morning, I was like, that shit was way funnier yesterday. Right. Man, that shit was hilarious. And y'all leave it. First of all, the dude who was laying on the couch by himself, how do you flamboyantly take a nap?
SPEAKER_00:He was high. What you mean? No. I was like, how do you sleep gay?
SPEAKER_03:It's like, I thought about it today. I'm like, I could tell that man was gay by the way he was sleeping.
SPEAKER_00:How do you it's probably how he was dressed on top of how he's sleeping too? Probably.
SPEAKER_03:Maybe.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Uh yeah, I'll uh yeah, but I do remember that. I'm like, that man is flamboyantly taking a nap right now.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I'm linking like this is three too many gay people here. Yeah, okay. You walked in. Like, focus on what you got in the room. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah. So I was crying off of that. But I did have a question based off of that. Have you ever got hit on before?
SPEAKER_03:By a gay dude?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was more so. I mean, uh, now I'm race or silly, so sometimes I'll get messages. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Penis pictures. No. I was I was about to lean into a joke, but I'm like, I don't I don't even want to hear myself say that shit. But um So you have it. No, and I ain't getting that. But um uh uh uh uh uh yeah sometimes I will nowadays, like if I'll I haven't done it in a minute, but like if I worked out hard as fuck for like a month, and then I'll do like a workout picture or some shit on my story. Yeah, and sometimes sure, yeah, some women would like it or whatever, but then I'll get a message or two, like Ray, you so sexy. I'm just like I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah. Do you you you you say that I appreciate it? No, okay I don't reply. I got you, yeah. But in my head, I'm like, all right, you know, cool. But no, it used to be when I was when I was in college, when I went to U of M. And I stayed, oh no, no, no, right before college, right before I went to U of M. I worked at McDonald's. And it was like it was the hood gay dudes who don't be giving, they don't care what they saying, they don't care how this shit sound. They just like, what? I'm gay and well, you know what I'm saying? Like that type of shit. I I remember working at McDonald's and then literally like handing niggas bags or before I even take the order. Like, you so cute. And now it's awkward. And it's like, what would you like to eat, sir? It's like, mm, uh and now it's just awkward to suppress a line behind him. Yeah, you just know you just know that's coming. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that that would happen sometimes. That would happen. But it's it was always it was always the super hood gay dudes who don't who don't care. And if like if you try to challenge them on something, they'll fight. Yeah, like they don't they don't give a fuck about that. Because the gay dude, that'll beat your ass, pretty much. No, no, but they was ready. I'm sure I'm like, bro, you gay ahead. I'm pretty sure he would have swung on me. Pretty sure he would have swung on me. But uh Nah, I feel yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So you're saying you're pretty much kind of numb to it a little bit? It's always a little awkward. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I don't think I don't think you could ever really be ready for that. Right. For real. So uh uh has your experiences been kind of like similar?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I mean I've been Uber driving for nine years. Oh I've like seen it all. Like I I had one, I didn't even some people you just don't know. Like some like those guys last night clearly can tell a gay. But some people you just do not know. They're like under the in the closet type of gay. Like I remember one white dude, you know. In my mind, I'm thinking he's just joking when he says he comes in, he's like, You're drunk a little bit, and he's like, Can I jack out from your car? Oh my god. I'm like, I'm driving the expedition. Uh-huh. I'm like, no, like, like I it's so out of like it's such a crazy question. I don't like he didn't say it specifically that way, but he he just randomly kind of says it. So it was like so outlandish. I thought it was like he was being funny, like like a white boy being funny, like no, like, and I'm laughing. Uh-huh. And then so he he so when I drop him off, this I you know, I have to kind of it's like a circle. So I have to pull back around and pass his house. So he's in a line jacking off. He's what? Like in his lawn, jacking off right in front of in front of my car as I'm passing by. What? Yes, what the fuck? I was like, oh, that was he was literally serious. Oh, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at looking stupid as hell, crazy. That's wild. And it's before he even gets in his house. Yeah. No, he wanted me to see him do that. Oh, he was just looking at you the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00:That's like wild eye in the face with that. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. He was likely serious. Yeah, yeah. I was like, okay, he was not playing, he was like literally serious.
SPEAKER_03:What if he what if you got a tip and then the the comment was thanks for watching?
SPEAKER_00:I'm just yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would never saw that comment. Yeah, yeah. No, uh, but I mean, I've that was probably a wild one of the wildest, but you know, I've uh got my um questions. Can I suck your dick? Oh my god. Yes, this is like extreme, right, right. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, because you're picking up people who like on drugs and drinking and stuff like that. So I've gotten that. I've gotten like just wild comments. Yeah, no, you you surpassed whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like some comments, like I can't even say it out loud. You know what I mean? Like, red, like one dude's like, can I ejaculate in your butt?
SPEAKER_03:I was like, Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00:I put my drink here. I I could just I I I picked him up in some other some other guys. I I had my drink right there. I was like, this man might spike my drink. You know, so I moved it to the other side.
SPEAKER_03:Facts.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. So yeah.
SPEAKER_03:That's a lot to even be thinking about. Yeah. Tell me about it. No, that's that's that's way wilder than uh I thought you were gonna go with that.
SPEAKER_00:Oh no. No, yeah. So when he had did it, of course, it's uncomfortable, but that's not like my first rodeo.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So that's why I was like, nah, we good, we gone. You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Nah, they was hella fucked up. I feel like I don't know. Uh it it feels like that was too far like to to to to go, unless they have some ties with the place or something.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe so, but that's that it seems like that's the thing because there's you know, chatting up with the the guys who work there. Okay. So yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's yeah, because they may live around there too, because it was knocked out just chilling. But I was, you know, that was the vibe. I was just hoping for more people. I feel like that can be packed at, you know, 3 a.m. or something like that. Yeah, when there's everybody's leaving other bars and places. I can see that.
SPEAKER_03:I can see that. Yeah, a nice little chill place to like kind of calm down. I can see that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, because I was just watching sports and sports like that. The pro athletes look colder than they ever have. You're like, dang, these guys are actually like legitimate professionals.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, yeah. I I was definitely uh zoned in with whatever game that was. Right. If it was a highlight reel, I'm not really sure.
SPEAKER_00:But I think we did it.
SPEAKER_03:Uh yeah. Yeah. All right.
SPEAKER_00:Well, this is two for the culture. We'll be back. Yes, sir. Love y'all.