Are we allowed to say that?

Building With Your Bestie & Detoxing the Shiny Objects

• Bec Sadek and Shannon Boyle • Season 2 • Episode 4

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This week: Bec is joined by guest co-hosts Heather Summers and Shelly Lane (Shannon’s on vacay!) for a real-talk episode on friendship, credibility, and momentum in network marketing. 

What we cover:

  • Build with your bestie: why shared values, accountability, and complementary strengths create momentum (and make the hard days lighter).
  • Shiny object detox: how company-hopping and tactic-chasing erode credibility—and what to do instead.
  • Stay, skill up, win: the simple habits that compound (roots, not reboots).
  • Belonging beats burnout: create community that people want to stay in.
SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Are We Allowed to Say That Show. We are your hosts, Shannon Boyle and Bex Zadig.

SPEAKER_02:

Get ready for the real talk and the hard-hitting network marketing truth that most don't have the guts to say. What's up, what's up, everybody? So excited to be here. We are back with another episode of the Are We Allowed to Say That show. And today I'm actually very excited. Well, I'm sad because my co-host and one of my favorite people, Shannon Boyle, could not be with us this week. She's actually on vacation, but the show must go on. So I reached out to two of my favorite people to see if they would co-host with me today. And I'm very excited to tell you guys that we have Heather Summers and Shelly Lane, who are going to be co-hosts with me today. And if you don't know Heather and Shelley, they are amazing, amazing people, amazing leaders in this industry. I'll let them share a little bit about their story to start. But they've been in the industry for quite some time. They've built multiple, very, very successful businesses, both in the network marketing industry, and in traditional business. So you guys are in for a treat today. And we were just before we hit record, we were just chatting, you how a year ago today we were actually in Greece all together. So not as fun sitting in our homes podcasting you guys, but at least we're together. At

SPEAKER_00:

least we're together. So

SPEAKER_02:

welcome to the show, you guys. Heather, Shelley, maybe we could start off with you guys just sharing a little bit about your story and how you found network marketing. I know that you guys work together in many ways, but you're also your own people. So Heather, do you want to maybe kick us off and tell us a little bit about who you are?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. So I'm Heather. I live in Missouri. I have two adult daughters. I've been a nurse for 30 years and been married for 32 years. So I fell into this industry. I was trying to think, I think it's been 14 years, which I don't know how, because, you know, I don't know how none of those numbers add up because really I'm only like, you know, 32, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_02:

It's okay. I still think I'm six. So we're good.

SPEAKER_00:

I know. So I don't know how this happens, but fell into the industry about 14 years ago and honestly bought a product from a neighbor and the product sat on my counter for about three months. And my husband was like, are you going to keep getting that? Do you want to use it? What's going on? And he doesn't usually say a whole lot, but I was kind of like, yeah, I probably probably should do something. So honestly took a look at what my neighbor was doing and I pretty much immediately saw the opportunity with what we have and fell in love with this business model and fell in love, honestly, with having a vehicle to help people financially. So that was really kind of how we got started. And I won't go into everything with Shelly and I, but we will get into it. But it's pretty funny how we got on that journey together. Oh,

SPEAKER_02:

I'm excited to hear that story. I don't know if I've actually ever heard the full story. So Shelly, give us a little intro into you and then we'll get into the two of you. Oh,

SPEAKER_01:

Good. Okay. I am also from Missouri. We actually live in the same town. I am married, been married to my husband for 24 years and we have three kids and two of them are in college. Our two youngest are oldest. He's married with a family. So I have three grandbabies too. And I actually got in this industry because my kids were, I was a stay-at-home mom and my kids were in every sport known to man. And it was very expensive. And, you know, just to be able to keep going with the sport and activities, we needed the extra money. And my goal was to make a thousand dollars a month. That was it. I kind of dabbled in like some party things at first and didn't really go. I mean, it would, things would sell, but it wasn't never a residual, you know, and I didn't know how to build a team or anything. And then I was introduced to this industry actually by Heather and, or not to this industry, but to another company. And I literally remember sitting in the talk and thinking if she can do this I can do this like I could do this so I went home and told my husband once again how I had found what I was gonna do and I wanted to make a lot of money and really I just wanted to make a thousand dollars but I also saw the vision and it just quickly it just got in my blood and I fell in love with industry I

SPEAKER_02:

love that I mean I get it right I think it's kind of addicting once you get into it right but you said a couple things Shelly that I think are really important that I just want to highlight for our listeners, which is you got into this industry because you wanted to make$1,000. And I've been talking a lot lately with a lot of people about how this is the mentality that we have to get back to is remembering that network marketing isn't a get-rich-quick thing. That's not what it is. It never has been. But it is a vehicle that helps put$500 to$1,000 in people's pockets pretty quickly if they do the work. And then from there, it can become more and more and more, right? And that's what you just said is like, first, it was just$1,000. And then you were like, I want to make a lot of money. And then you went on to make a lot of money. So I love that you said that. And then the other thing I love that you said is you sat in a living room, because those are the back in the day, right? That's what we did. We went to people's living rooms to hear about things. And you looked at the woman who was talking and you were like, if she can do this, I can. And that brings me back to relatability, right? I think sometimes we think we have to be something so much bigger and so much more important or so much smarter or so much more successful than we are to attract people. But the reality is, is that if you can make somebody feel like, all right, if she can do this, I can too. Like you're doing something right. Absolutely. Yeah. Super cool. Okay. So you guys kind of have like a unique business relationship. I know that you guys live in the same town and you're best friends, but you also are business partners. So can you tell us a little bit about how you guys met? Like, I don't even know how you guys met. How did you guys meet? How did you get into this? And then how did you ultimately become business partners in network marketing?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, so we met through kind of a mutual acquaintance. It was really such a fluke. I mean, we both got a text message from a girl and she wanted us to come hang out with her for the afternoon in her swimming pool. And so we both went and Shelly and I ended up talking the entire afternoon. I feel like we might have even been slightly rude to the girl that invited us there because we just kind of hit it off. And funny thing enough, we brought both of our daughters who went to the same school and have the same name, both named Emma. And so they hung out, hit it off. We ended up having a conversation around running and I was getting ready to start training for half marathon. Shelly had had a history of running and she's like, I'll run with you. And so that's how we got to know each other really quickly. And so when I found this industry and saw the vision, I was like, you know, we're running and I'm like, hey, by the way, I've got something I want to share And, you know, I found something that I really am excited about. And I really want you to do this with me. And so that's kind of where it all started. So you are the instigator, Heather. Apparently. I feel like this day and age, it could go either way.

SPEAKER_02:

You were the one who were like, I found something. I want you to do this with me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

All right. I love it. Now, the big question is, are you guys still friends with that person who invited you to their pool?

SPEAKER_01:

Gosh, I haven't seen her in years. I mean, she's reached out to me a few times, like on my birthday and stuff like that, but not really. I mean, I wouldn't say we're not friends with her. I mean, I don't still see her. We're in just different social circles. She's still working in a school system. She actually did our first business with us, but didn't do a lot with it. But I mean, led us to some really good people, though. I mean, like really led us to some good people that actually became leaders in our former company. And so, yeah, I mean, but no, not really. Yeah, so you

SPEAKER_02:

guys like hit it off. I love that story. Okay. Then you got into business together in network marketing. And then I know you guys went on to then open a clothing boutique together, right? We

SPEAKER_01:

did. Yeah, we didn't want to go back after our last company when we left it. We didn't know what to do after that. It was like, where do we go from here? We actually kind of fell victim of that following the leader type. Oh, we're gonna talk about that for a second. Yeah, so we did fall victim of to that. So we would go from one company to the next. following these leaders and realizing real quick, we were losing people. We were losing credibility in the industry. And so we literally were sitting outside by my pool that I just put in. We just built a new house. And of course, at this point, I'm like, I've got to have some income. You know, I've got to have an income. And I think Heather said, someone so opened a boutique, we should look into this. And it was like, okay. The next thing I know, like two days later, we had a boutique. She's the instigator. Yeah, she is. She is. Yes. Sometimes she is. Depends.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. I love it. So you guys opened a boutique. Can we back up for a second? Can we talk about the whole following leaders from company to company thing? Are you guys cool with talking about that? Sure. Yeah. Okay. So I just think this is such an important conversation because I've definitely had this conversation on this podcast before with Shannon. But I've never, I don't think we've ever had the conversation with people that have gone down that path and then been like, wait a second, like what's going happening to our reputation. So I think that this is actually a really important conversation because I have seen so many people in this industry that are really talented and really smart and just like really good at what they do fall into that trap of like the next best, the next best thing all the time, right? Like, well, let's go here now. Let's go here now. Maybe that will be better. And this change happens at this company. We can't be there anymore. Like, you know, let's go here and, you know, watch people that that we're making millions in this industry get to a place where they can't even make$10 because all the jumping kind of kills their credibility. So it sounds like what you guys are saying is that you kind of fell into that and realized, wait a second, we're losing people every time we move. So talk to me a little bit about that. And like, you know, maybe some tips or lessons that you learn from that, that you can give to somebody who's listening, who maybe has been tempted with that, or isn't sure what to do with that right now, or maybe they They're in the middle of following somebody from company to company. You guys, this

SPEAKER_00:

is the, are we allowed to say that show? Did I mention that? what happens is you have that strong relationship and so you are you know you can be you can fall into just following them if that makes sense and I think you need to probably what we didn't do is really pause and really evaluate like what we have you know where we are what is really ultimately best for us and our family and our team and so I think it just takes just pause just pause and really, really evaluate what you're doing before you're jumping and following a shiny object. The grass isn't always greener.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, no, that's really good advice. And you said like when you were jumping, you were losing people. Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_01:

Because I think that people, they would trust the product. They were trusting us. And then as we were jumping, they were seeing that it was still the same people winning over and over again. It was the same people cashing those big checks. And, you know, And the way that they would say, oh, we're going to structure this way, structure this way. I mean, it became like people were losing friends over it. I mean, it's just, it was a lot of egos. It was a lot of egos.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. I mean, I love what you said too about people. I don't love this, but like, I think it's a good point that people were losing friends and this episode is about friendship and business ultimately. And it's such a sensitive, like this industry is, it's such a sensitive topic because because it is such a fine line because friendships are born, right? Like deep friendships are born. Like same thing you guys said, some of my favorite people I've met through this industry, right? And at the same time, there's money being exchanged between these relationships. And it's so important as a leader, like this is something that I hold very dear as a leader is to make sure that you're like holding that integrity and protecting your people, right? Like you can cross the line of making it too much about yourself and about your paycheck. And that's a very dangerous place to go in this industry. And it's also where you really start to lose trust with people because it can't be about you, right? Like this business isn't about one person. It's about helping everyone win. It's about helping everyone get healthy if you're in health and wellness or, you know, everyone, I don't know, what other stuff is there? Travel, I guess, if you're in travel, right? So I love that you said that right it's like when you when you make these jumps over and over again as a team and structure comes into the conversation and who goes where it's like feelings get hurt and friendships get hurt because it becomes all about who's benefiting more off of each other instead of like working together to build something that lasts right

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and all of a sudden to start over, you know, you're always starting from zero and it's like, it's exhausting.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah. Good, good, good tips, you guys. Good stuff. I think it's a, it's an important conversation right now. So, okay. Now let's talk about back to you guys. So you open this boutique and then you have this boutique, it's going well. And then another company is introduced to you guys, which has been the company that you've been with now for how many years have you guys been there? Almost five. Five years. I love it. Okay. So five years. And you guys chose to go into business this time together. And the last time you built, you were not in business together, right? Correct.

SPEAKER_01:

We were our own people and we still are. But yeah, now we're in this, we do it together because we had a lot of relationships. I mean, we had owned, our boutique was really good size. We had two storefronts online. It was, it was big. And yeah, we went in together just because so many mutual contacts, friends, all the things. And not to mention, we really didn't get into this thinking we were going to build a business. We got into this thinking, oh, we'll see what happens. And I did not know that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I thought that you guys got into it like guns blazing, no? Not

SPEAKER_01:

the first little bit. I remember when we got on a call with the girl that signed us and she was so excited. She was so excited. She thought she was just getting ready to sign these two rock stars. And we're like, oh, wait a minute. We've not done this in years. We don't know if we can do this again. And we had a full-time boutique and it was doing well at the time. And you know what? COVID had just shut everything down. Things had opened back up and we were having probably one of the best years that we had, like that next year was the best year we had. And, um, yeah, I mean, we just, um, we didn't know. And within a couple of months, you know, I think at that point we were like, you know what, because we were loving the products and we were loving the community. It was like, this is a cool community, you know? And, um, so we just, we jumped in, we jumped in and then we haven't looked back since then.

SPEAKER_02:

I love it. So what's it like working together? Like, what's it like being best friends, living in the same town and running a network marketing business together. You guys always seem to like work it out. Like, I mean, I don't think I've ever seen you guys like not in a good place with each other, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_00:

We do. We just work it out. That's a good way of putting it. And I mean, I think ultimately, if you are fortunate enough to do something like this with, you know, someone that you're close with, you know, a really, really good friend, like, I mean, it's a blessing. Like, you know, for one thing, like, I feel like we've gone farther faster because like we overcome obstacles together, you know, because no matter what you do, there's going to be hard days. Right. And it feels like like if Shelly's having a hard day, I'm usually having a good day, you know, so we can kind of bounce that off of each other. And then, you know, as far as like trips, whether it is a conference or an incentive trip, like we get to go together, you know, and our husbands are friends and, you know, it's just fun. Yeah. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01:

it's definitely more fun to have someone and not to mention, we both have our strengths, and we have our weaknesses. And, you know, it's like, we're able to bounce things off of each other to be able to, you know, complement each other, you know, like, where one of us may have, you know, a really big strength somewhere, the other one's kind of like, yeah, I don't want to do that. You know, it's just we work well together.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I love that. And I think knowing you guys, like friendship and community is something that is very important to you guys. Like, I think one of the things that I really admire about both of you is that you seek out relationships with your sidelines you work you know you work well with other people you like to work with other people um so what how does community and like you know building not just maintaining your own friendship but building other friendships in this industry like what does that look like for you guys what does that mean to you guys

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, ultimately it's everything, you know, I mean, that's, I think going 14 years back, I saw this as a vehicle to help other people and, you know, I'm a nurse. And so I have that in me as well, like in having a products to be able to make a difference, you know, and people are craving community, you know, coming out of, I mean, I know COVID has been a while, but I feel like even since COVID, just like we've been on that path that people need community even more and are craving it even more. And I think the bigger social media is the more, more that people need community. And so I love that side of it. It's 100% my favorite part of it.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree. I mean, I have relationships. I didn't know that I needed, I didn't know that I needed these relationships. And like some of my best friends have come from this industry and you become really close to people. You get to know them and just so many different ways. Then you get to go travel the world with them. I mean, it's like, I mean, we were in Greece last year. Can we go back?

SPEAKER_02:

We go back right now. I got memories today on my phone. You know, you like, it makes those like slideshows with music for you and I was like it was like me like wine tasting in Crete last year with Amy Myers and Jodi Johnson and Megan Brazier and I was like oh my god take me back right now um but you know something else like I so I my first company in this industry so I've been with two different companies I was with my first company for seven years and I've been with my current company for it'll be eight years in January which is crazy and um one of the perspectives I got from my first company was it was a legacy company. It was around for, you know, 60 plus years when I left. And my upline in that company had been there for 30 years, like building that one business for 30 years. And I remember going on the trips and I would watch her with her sideline friends. And they had been doing this. They had been traveling together for 30 years. And at this point, their kids were adults and married and had their own kids but like their kids grew up together too like it was just such a cool thing to see um you know watching them have dinner every night and stuff like that and I was like what a beautiful thing right to like build this business with like-minded people because ultimately like if you're into network marketing like there's certain values that like most people in network marketing care about right um one of them is like the the freedom to run your own life and um not be tied down to vacation days or a boss or all of those things. So to see, you know, people that had built these like 30 plus year friendships, I was like, that's really cool. And it's one of the reasons too, why I believe so much in finding somewhere that you can build a legacy. Because I do think friendship is a really big part of this. And friendship gets complicated. When you're like you guys said earlier, when you're jumping around all the time, right? So like finding somewhere really great that you can build and build those relationships, I think is such a cool, valuable thing. Absolutely. Okay. So let's pivot for a second. How many years have you guys been in network marketing? You said it at the beginning, but I can't remember. I think it's 14. If I'm not 14. Okay. So around the same as me, I think I'm 15. And when I started in this industry, same as you guys, because I just heard your stories, it was all like home parties, right? That's how we all built our initial businesses. And something that you both have done very very well is pivot and skill up and learn and both of you guys have built social media followings at this point and that's really how you build your business right and have done a very good job of it so I'd love for you to share a little bit about that concept of always skilling up and pivoting and the importance of that in this industry, because things are always changing, right? And like, even in the past couple of years, we've seen the algorithms change and that requires you to skill up and pivot. So over your 14 years in this industry, starting with home parties and then learning social media and then social media changing, share a little bit about that and maybe some thoughts or tips that you guys have on that for people.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I mean, like starting out, like, I mean, I would meet my husband at the door and go to parties like every single evening. It was I loved it. I loved it. But man, it was exhausting. And, you know, I love the social media. I love the fact I know when we signed up for this company that we're in now, current company is that was number one thing I was attracted to was a social media because I'm like, oh, wait a minute, I can do this without leaving my house. And I love that about it. But we have to always remember, like, even though though it's social media it's still about relationships you still have to create the relationships even if it's online in person wherever you have to still build the relationships and the pivoting is you know you just have to be willing to put yourself out there and try you have to I mean it's it's not hard you just have to put yourself out there and learn something new and it seems scary but it's just what we have to do if you want to make if you want to be successful yeah

SPEAKER_00:

you just have to get gritty just be willing to learn Absolutely. It definitely turned you into a homebody, no doubt. What do you mean by that? Well, you know, because we can just build on social media, you know, so sometimes you can be like, man, I just love being at home, which is great. You know, and I love that it opens the door to so many more people, you know? Yeah. When you really believe in what you're doing, that's huge. I love it.

SPEAKER_01:

And it looks very messy in the beginning when you're learning something new. Like if you go back and watch my old videos, I mean, I'm like, oh, oh, oh, wow. You know, it's like, whoa, that was bad. But you learn, you grow and nobody starts out good. Nobody starts out like knowing what they're doing.

SPEAKER_02:

So true. And. the fundamentals don't really change, but the strategy, nothing works forever. So being willing to have that grit and being willing to pivot and, um, skill up and try new things is such an important thing to do. And you guys are such great examples of that. Um, so, okay. Last question for you guys. And this is the question we ask every time we have a guest on the podcast, by the way, the other requirement we have for guests on our podcast, which I forgot to tell you is you must have an accent, but you guys

SPEAKER_00:

didn't Shelly's got an accent for sure.

SPEAKER_02:

Shelly's got a little bit of a Southern drawl. Yeah,

SPEAKER_00:

she does. I don't know if I fit or not, but Shelly definitely does. I don't have a

SPEAKER_02:

good one like Megan Brazier. I mean, come on now. I know. Can't you just like go to Australia and learn that for a second? I

SPEAKER_00:

mean, I will. That's what you want me to do. I

SPEAKER_01:

love it. Okay. You can sound like cornbread. Isn't that what she says? She sounds like cornbread. I love that. That

SPEAKER_02:

was, that's, that was funny. So, um, Our favorite question to ask on this podcast, this is the, are we allowed to say that show? So if there was one thing that you've always wanted to say about network marketing, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01:

Your friends and your family are not going to support you. Oh, they're not going to support you. You just have to. And it's okay. It's okay because you can build a huge business without them. I mean, Heather and I had a boutique and I will tell you, we had friends that didn't support us. So crazy. It is what it is. So it's not just network marketing. No, it's not just network marketing. It's business in general. Like your closest people may not support you, but you have to just keep going and not be afraid to, you know, this is for you. This isn't for them.

SPEAKER_02:

So good. That's a really good one. And it's one of those things that most people have to learn, right? Most people come into business being like, oh, I bet all these people are going to buy from me and then they don't buy from them or they make fun of them and they're like, this sucks. And it's hard. It's

SPEAKER_01:

hurtful, you know, but at the same time, you know, just know that it's a lot of times it's all jealousy or maybe they're just not interested in your product and that's okay too. That's okay. Yeah, I love that. All right, Heather, what about yours?

SPEAKER_00:

So I think a lot of people like to make this look really simple and easy. But let me tell you, just like anything, it can be freaking hard. But choose your hard. There's a heck of a lot of benefits and it is definitely worth it.

SPEAKER_02:

So true. How many times do you guys want to quit today?

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, maybe not today, but most days, maybe most days, at least once, at least once. Right. A lot of days.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. That's the norm, right? Like at least once a day, you're like, what am I doing? So I love that. It's good. It's true, right? It's like set the expectations for people. It's like what we were talking about at the beginning, like telling somebody who's never done this before, they're going to make six figures in their first year is very unlikely, but helping somebody make a thousand dollars in their first couple of months, you can do that, right? So setting those expectations nothing about this is easy but the benefits are huge right absolutely awesome well Shelly Heather thank you guys so much for being on the show we're so excited to have you here and we miss Shannon but she'll be back with us next week I promise if you have not yet gone to Apple iPod Apple iPod what what am I even saying Apple podcasts and leave us a five-star written review please we would be so grateful and if you ever have any topics topics that you would love to hear on this show you can always reach out in the DMS and uh we'll see you guys next week see you later